Deep Dive: Why Setting Boundaries is HardEverything you think you know about boundaries is 100% WRONG!Setting them isn’t selfish—it’s survival.𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗦𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗛𝗮𝗿𝗱—𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗵 𝗜𝘁Setting boundaries sounds simple, right?But when it comes down to it, saying “no” or creating space for yourself can feel tricky.So many of us are used to putting others first or trying to meet everyone’s expectations that our own needs take a back seat.But here’s the thing: strong boundaries aren’t just about saying no—they’re about saying yes to what matters most to you.𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗙𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗧𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗸𝘆1. 𝙁𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝘿𝙞𝙨𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙊𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙨Ever worry that if you say “no,” you’ll disappoint someone?This is super common. Most of us worry that setting boundaries will come across as selfish or uncaring.But actually, it’s the opposite!Think about it: when you protect your time and energy, you’re more able to give your best to the things you do say yes to.2. 𝙂𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝘾𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙤𝙣 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙉𝙚𝙚𝙙Sometimes, it’s hard to set boundaries because you haven’t paused to think about what you truly need.If you don’t know where your limits are, you’ll always feel stretched too thin.Taking a moment to tune into what drains or energizes you can help you make choices that feel right.3. 𝘽𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙊𝙡𝙙 𝙃𝙖𝙗𝙞𝙩𝙨Maybe you’ve been the “yes person” for years.Changing that habit can feel like trying to turn a big ship around.But change is possible—and it doesn’t have to happen all at once.Small shifts, like saying “I’ll think about it” instead of an automatic “yes,” can start to create the space you need.𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗘𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗴𝘆Every time you set a boundary, you’re keeping a bit of your energy safe.Think of boundaries as invisible shields. They don’t mean you’re closing people out—they mean that you’re keeping what matters most inside.Imagine you have a jar of energy each day. Each “yes” you give takes a scoop out of that jar.If you’re scooping out energy for things that don’t serve you, you’ll end up drained.By setting boundaries, you’re choosing to spend that energy where it can truly make a difference.𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗦𝗮𝘆 “𝗬𝗲𝘀” 𝘁𝗼 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳When you reduce unnecessary obligations, you’re giving yourself the gift of time and space.More time for projects you care about, moments with loved ones, or simply the chance to rest.Remember, every time you say “no” to something that doesn’t align, you’re saying “yes” to what matters.𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁1. 𝙄𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙮 𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙋𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙚𝙨Take a moment to ask yourself what’s most important.What activities, people, or goals give you energy and purpose?Knowing this can help you decide where to focus your time.2. 𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙚 𝙎𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 “𝙇𝙚𝙩 𝙈𝙚 𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝘼𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙄𝙩”Permit yourself to pause.Instead of an automatic “yes,” try saying, “I’ll get back to you.”This gives you space to think about whether something fits with your priorities.3. 𝙎𝙚𝙩 𝙊𝙣𝙚 𝙎𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝘽𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙩 𝙖 𝙏𝙞𝙢𝙚Boundaries don’t have to be big or dramatic. Start small!For example, if meetings drain you, maybe you set a boundary that you’ll only accept meetings at certain times.This can give you a sense of control and encourage you to keep building.𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗼𝗿𝘀—𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺.With each “no” that aligns with your needs, you’re opening up space for what brings you joy, energy, and purpose.It’s about protecting what matters most to you, so you can give your best to yourself and to others.Are you ready to give it a try?Start with one boundary this week and see how it feels.Trust yourself—you’re the best judge of what you need. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mindsetrebuild.substack.com/subscribe
# Energy ManagementThe practice of conserving and optimizing one's energy for activities and commitments that align with personal values.
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