The default setting of our brain is what shapes how we see our world. Today I'm going to go into what our default settings are, why they are that way, how to change them, and why it is so important that we do so. I will be discussing my own personal examples of how I did this as a frustrated mother as well as how this helped in the intimate relationship I have with my husband. This is one you do NOT want to skip!  Head to www.jolenewinn.com today to sign up for my email list so you can be the first to be notified for my FREE public calls! They will be once a month and will be your chance to get coached and learn from others even if you are not a part of my coaching program.  If you are ready to make changes in your life and in your marriage, there is no better time to join my coaching program. I will teach you what to do with all the thoughts and feelings you are having, how to navigate trust, improve physical intimacy, overcome triggers and improve your self esteem. Sign up today directly on my website or schedule a free coaching call to talk more about it! 

Our brains like to think of the world as black and white. Our brains like it when everything is placed in a "right" box or a "wrong" box. But that's just because our brains are lazy. If we open up the space to allow things to be neutral, then we can choose our reactions to them on purpose rather than being on autopilot. Join me today as I talk more about it! If your husband is struggling with pornography, you need to join my coaching program. It is everything I wish I had known but didn't even know I needed. Get all the details at www.jolenewinn.com and join today. Or schedule a free call to talk more about it. I can't wait to see you in class!  

Forgiveness is a process. A journey. And learning to forgive my husband for his pornography addiction was not something that happened overnight. But I did have one powerful experience one weekend that shifted me forever. It was a profoundly spiritual experience that I am grateful to share with you in hopes that it will help you navigate your own journey of forgiveness as well.  As always, if you are struggling with the side effects of your husband's pornography addiction in your life, if you are feeling stuck, I would love to help you. You can sign up for my individual coaching program today via my website or schedule a free consultation call to get started.   

Do you feel like you are struggling to find purpose in the roles you find yourself in? Maybe you feel like you are "just a mom" and don't know how to feel more fulfilled? This episode is for you. Join me today and I will give you a new way to approach this in your life and be sure to do the exercise at the end!  *Now until October 12, anyone who joins my coaching program will be getting a FREE ticket to the All In virtual Women's faith conference! Sign up today directly on my website or schedule a free consultation call with me to talk more about it.  Come here me speak LIVE at the All In virtual women's faith conference October 12-17! Get your ticket using code "Jolene" for $20 off at www.allinwithgod.com !

Do you feel stuck? Like your life is on a loop and the same thoughts and feelings keep coming up? Do you feel like you are going nowhere and have no control or direction over your life? This episode is for you. Join me today as I go over the 4 most common reasons why you are feeling stuck in your own life. Don't stay stuck. Let's get you moving.  Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode!  If you are struggling with feeling like your life is out of control, I want to invite you to join my coaching program. In it you will get the one on one attention you need and the tools you've been searching for in order to gain back your control. Find all the details at www.jolenewinn.com  Come hear me speak LIVE! I am speaking at the All In Women's Faith Conference - October 12-17. Get your ticket today at www.allinwithgod.com and use code "Jolene" for $20 off your ticket!

It is one thing for emotions to be part of the reason we do something and another for us to use them as the EXCUSE for what we do. It is important to learn to tell the difference because when we blame our actions on the emotions we are feeling, it leaves us powerless and stuck, unable to change what is happening in our life because it feels beyond our control. And that is simply not true. Join me today on the podcast to learn what emotional excuses look like, why they are so important to become aware of, and how to start changing them.  Don't forget to sign up for my emails! You can do that on my website www.jolenewinn.com and you can find all the information for my one on one coaching program and get signed up right away! Get your ticket to the All In Women's Faith conference from October 12-17! I will be speaking on Choosing to Thrive in Unexpected Circumstances (aka the year 2020) and it is an entire week of powerhouse women teaching about faith! I know I need more of God's help in my life! Use code "jolene" at checkout to get $20 off your ticket. 

Fear feels really important. Like we should listen to it and stop doing whatever it is we are afraid of. But the truth is, fear is just an emotion. And our primitive brain likes to convince us that what we are afraid of will kill us. But it won't. Not usually. And yet, we miss out on SO much of our own life because we stop ourselves when we feel fear. Join me today as I talk about the 3 biggest lies we believe about fear and why it is so important to feel the fear and do it all anyway.  Get all the information about my one on one coaching program at my website! And sign up for a free consultation call today.  Come hear me speak live! Get your ticket today for the All In Women's Faith Conference and use code "Jolene" for $20 off your ticket! Hurry! The conference runs from October 12-17!

I know. That sounds crazy. Why would we want to stay hurt? Hear me out: Our brains like to stay hurt because being hurt means that we were wronged by the other person. Basically, it means that we are right and the other person is wrong. And being right feels really good. So our brain wants to stay there. But in order to stay feeling "right", we also have to keep that hurt. And trust me ladies, it's not worth it. Join me on this episode to learn why our brains like to keep us in the hurt and why we can choose to let it go.  Don't forget to get your tickets to hear me speak LIVE at the All In Women's Faith Conference! Tickets are on SALE until midnight 9.7 so don't hesitate! Use code "Halfoff" at checkout and get all the details at www.allinwithgod.com  Curious about what coaching with me looks like? Set up a free consultation call online and let's chat about it! Head to www.jolenewinn.com for more details and to set up a call today. 

Is pornography use an addiction or a compulsive behavior? Does it matter? What's the difference? Join me today as I talk about the difference between the two and share some statistics that will shed some light on pornography use. The takeaway today is this: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  Come here me speak live at the All In Women's Faith Conference! www.allinwithgod.com  Schedule a free call today and let's get you the help you need: www.jolenewinn.com 

Sometimes we make our lives more emotional than they need to be by adding layers of emotions unintentionally. Today I am going show you how we do this, why we do this, and how to stop doing it so that you can drop all the drama and overwhelm in your life and just feel emotions as they come up. I promise this is exactly what you need to learn!  If you're having trouble with all the emotional turmoil that comes up around your husband's addiction, I want to invite you to join my coaching program. This is where we take a deep dive into your emotions, teach you how to process them, learn how to overcome triggers and establish boundaries, and where you get the one on one help you need. See all the details on my website www.jolenewinn.com and set up a free consultation call today.    Get your tickets for the All In Women's Faith Conference in October and hear me speak live! Find out all the info at www.allinwithgod.com !

Boundaries are one of the most common concerns for my clients and for the wives of porn addicts. It's also one of the most misunderstood. Join me today as I discuss the difference between boundaries and consequences, why one of them works and one doesn't, and clarify why setting consequences for your husband's behavior will never make him change.  p.s. if you want to leave me a birthday gift, please leave a review on iTunes! You can leave it anonymous and it will help iTunes put the podcast in front of other women who are searching for help. Thank you!! If you are struggling with boundaries, I would love to help you. I highly recommend joining my coaching program where we deep dive into boundaries, what a proper boundary looks like, how to set one, and if you need one. Plus, my program comes with one on one coaching sessions where I can help you adjust the boundaries in your life according to your unique situation. Sign up for a free consultation on my website today.

Just like physical pain tolerance, we have emotional pain tolerance. And the things that we experience in our life usually result in us having a high tolerance for emotional pain. Listen in today as I talk about what that looks like, why it happens, and why it is completely unnecessary.  Find out information about the All In Women's Faith Conference at www.allinwithgod.com  Find out how to coach with me one on one at www.jolenewinn.com and schedule a free consultation with me today! 

Do you worry about the future? Do you worry that your husband will relapse or have an affair or that you are being deceived? When we have anxiety about the future we think it will make us more prepared for our "what ifs". But it doesn't. Join me today on the podcast as I talk about why you should let go of your future anxiety right now.  Sign up for a free mini coaching session today on my website!  Don't forget to leave an anonymous review on iTunes so other women can find the podcast!

That's the question, right? Do I trust my husband? Do I NOT trust my husband? Does it make me a bad wife if I don't? Does it make me a doormat if I do? I want to take a deep look at what trusting can look like if you see it as a choice.  Follow me on IG @jolenewinncoaching All my coaching program details can be found on my website at www.jolenewinn.com 

There are so many decisions we have to make that are difficult. But when we think about each one of them as if there is a "right" or "wrong" answer, that doesn't always serve us and, more often than not, leads us to make no decision at all. Join me today on the podcast as I talk about what this looks like, why this is something we need to become aware of, and how to make choices in a better way moving forward.  Follow me on IG @jolenewinncoaching For all my coaching information, please see my website: www.jolenewinn.com 

We think that we know why we do things. Our brain offers us answers that seem logical. But those are often just surface level answers that don't show us the true reason underneath. Join me  on the podcast today to learn how I learned to ask myself why and the reason this is so important to learn how to do! I share real examples of how I've applied this in my own life and outline how you can start TODAY to begin this in your own. Enjoy!! Find all my life coaching information on my website! And don't forget to sign up for my email list via www.jolenewinn.com 

My husband Rob joined me on this episode today so that he and I could share our story with y'all. We talk about what our marriage used to look like, what his addiction looked like in our marriage, what was the core of his addiction, how we both overcame his addiction and where we are now. We share this with the hope that it inspires you to know that wherever you are on your journey, wherever your spouse is on his journey, it is not the end. Your story is just beginning.  Find all my coaching info at www.jolenewinn.com 

We spend so much of our life thinking that what happens around us, or outside of us, is what causes us to feel a certain way. This is never the case. Your husband's addiction is not causing the feelings inside of you. Your weight, your mother in law, the things someone said on FB-none of those are causing your feelings. Your feelings are caused by your thoughts. Always. Join me today as I go through examples and teach this to you so and tell you why this is such an important truth to learn!  For more coaching info and to sign up for my email list head to jolenewinn.com!

We aren't taught how to feel our emotions. We are taught how to resist them, react to them, or avoid them. But none of that is going to allow you to process anything in a healthy way or improve the way your life is going. Today I will introduce you to how you can process emotions in a healthy way and why it is so important to do so.    Find all my coaching info at jolenewinn.com!

Confession: I've gotten so wrapped up in the "how" of starting a life coaching business that I forgot about the "why". I became a life coach because the tools I learned along the way have transformed my life and I am now a completely different person. And I feel a responsibility and a privilege to share that knowledge with as many women as I possibly can. Today I'm going to give you a taste of what tools I teach, what life coaching truly looks like, and give you an example of how it changed my life. I know it can change yours too.  I'd love for you to join my coaching program! See full details on my website! 

There are 4 main stages of progression that women tend to go through as the wife of the porn addict. In this episode I lay out what those are, what the difference is between all of them, and the last stage that you may not even know about yet. Join me today to hear more about it! Don't forget to sign up for my class: How To Set Boundaries! Register here! In case you missed it, I wrote an article in Leading Saints that was published! It details a little bit of what my journey was like in the LDS framework. You can find it here! 

Tony Overbay is and LDS licensed marriage and family therapist and the host of The Virtual Couch podcast. He is the creator of an online porn addiction recovery program called The Path Back. In this episode he gives tips and tools on how to talk to your kids about pornography. Listen in and take notes! This is so helpful!  See more on the blog!

When your husband is addicted to pornography, there is no getting around having hard conversations. But allow me to give you some tips for making those a little less difficult and MUCH more fulfilling! Don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss the bonus episode I have coming at you this week! And be sure to head to my blog for more tips on how to have hard conversations with your spouse, your kids, and anyone else in your life!   For full details on my life coaching program, click here!

Our brains like predictability and patterns. That's when the brain doesn't have to look for danger. This is where we like to live. In comfort zones. The problem with comfort zones is that they don't lead us to grow or progress. We stay exactly the same. And, most of the time, they are a false sense of security. Your life will always have discomfort. So you can choose: You can either stay in the discomfort of distrust and disconnect and always being on edge waiting for your husband's relapse, OR you can choose to face discomfort head on and grow so you can reach a comfort zone completely healed from his addiction. It's completely up to you.    If you enjoyed this podcast, please take a moment to leave a rating AND review on iTunes so that other women can find this! You can leave it anonymous! Thank you for sharing this podcast with your friends! I started a blog! I am thrilled to offer y'all more resources to get help! Head to www.thepornaddictswife.com to check it out!  Don't forget to head to my website and leave your email address so I can send you my free class: How To Be Free From Betrayal Trauma! And don't forget to sign up for my next class: How To Set Boundaries! All of this can be done on my website under the "free resources" tab and clicking on "webinars".    As always, please reach out to me at any time! [email protected]

Did you know that the words we use have 2 meanings? They do. And we don't even realize how critical our word choice is when we tell ourselves our story. The words we use to describe our experience is what we end up believing. So choose your words wisely.  Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and leave a rating and review so that other women can find the help they need!  Check out my new blog! I am so excited to interact with y'all on here and have a place to offer even more content and insight! Here is where I will be linking research, ideas, resources, and offering even more tips and tools to help you get where you want to go.  My life coaching program is always open for enrollment! See all the details on my website and don't wait to begin your journey. I can't wait to see you there! 

Intellectually, we understand that we are allowed to feel our feelings. But that doesn't mean we don't feel like there are certain emotions we should avoid or that we don't have a right to feel. And what's more, we usually take ownership of those emotions and make them part of our identity-rather than just letting them be something that we feel inside our bodies. It can all be a little confusing so listen in as I clear it up a bit.  SHOW NOTES:  Thank you for listening! If you have a podcast topic you'd like to submit, go ahead and do so in a review! I would love to discuss it! Feel free to leave it anonymous :) I have designed a life coaching program for LDS women with a spouse addicted to pornography and it is where the magic happens! Head to my website jolenewinn.com for all the details! 

I want to talk about guilt today...not your husband's...YOURS. That's right. I saw this in myself and I see it all the time with my clients. We have these sneaky thoughts that sound helpful but they all stem from this belief that our husband's addiction is somehow, in some way...our fault. It's not. Let's talk about it.  SHOW NOTES: Don't forget to head to my website and sign up for my email list so you can get sent my free webinar: How To Be Free From Betrayal Trauma! I would truly appreciate if you'd leave a rating or review so that others can find the podcast and get the help they need! Thank you! Feel free to leave  your review anonymously and take the opportunity to leave a suggestion for a podcast topic in the review! I have created a coaching program specifically designed for LDS women who have a spouse addicted to pornography. Head to my website jolenewinn.com for full program details.