Usually a deja vu is a glitch in the matrix; it means they changed something.  In this case though, it's all because I changed nothing. Outro song: Eye of the Tiger - Survivor Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I think if this was a video podcast it would literally kill me. Outro - My Dumbass Podcast art by Joey Rizk

This one's a doozy. Outro song: Time and Eric Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Might want to give this one a listen all the way to the end fellas. Outro Song: Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm just going to replace my entire diet with supplements and see how long I make it. Outro song:  Soda Pop - Britney Spears Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Can I get workers comp working remotely if I throw my back out in my living room during work hours? Outro song: POWER by B.A.P. Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm going to mold chakra until I can finally use lose-weight-no-jutsu. Outro song: One Piece Rap - Freshco Podcast art by Joey Rizk

If I say everything that isn't funny, the only things left to say will be funny. Outro song: I Am Very Glad, as I'm Finally Returning Back Home - Eduard Khil Podcast art by Joey Rizk

They make paper towels, but why not towel paper?  Why do I save all my good jokes for the episode description? Outro song: Meow Mix Theme Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm going to mix pre-workout with melatonin so I can finally win fights in my dreams. Outro song: It's Been Awhile - Staind Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Can't tell you how gutted I am about the fact that I only thought to make a joke about the V standing for "void cheque" after I finished recording. Outro song: Butter - BTS Podcast art by Joey Rizk

"I've got some good ideas for some tik toks" said the guy far too close to his thirties to be on tik tok Outro song: A Distinctive Sound - Gotye Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'd run for office if it wasn't for the fact that I put all of this blackmail material on one place. Outro song: Last Resort - Papa Roach X Jeris Johnson Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm just going to bulk for my entire life and deadlift 900 pounds when I'm 100. Outro song: Wacky Dust - Ella Fitzgerald Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Bro I'm keto, so it's totally cool that I'm eating nothing but butter all day.  Everyone loves butter anyway, I'm just cutting out the middle man bro. Outro song: That's Amore by Dean Martin Podcast art by Joey Rizk

This week's episode is like if you combined Ozark, Breaking Bad, and an 8 year old reading out loud in class all into one incoherent package. Outro song: Liposuction - Da Vinci's Notebook Podcast art by Joey Rizk

You've heard of pre workout, but I do gi workout.  It's where I do deadlifts in a karate gi.  What did George St Pierre wear when he practiced karate?  A guy.  I'll see myself out. Outro Song: I'm Fat - Weird Al Yankovic Podcast art by Joey Rizk

My new fitness goal is to become so fit that I become unlikable.  Step 1: Become likeable Outro song: Bad at Math - The Scary Jokes Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Doing a podcast by yourself is a bit like pissing your pants in your own home.  There's no one to blame but yourself. Outro song: Ramblin' Man - The Allman Brothers Band Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I hope to one day be successful enough to be in a position to embezzle.  No I didn't look up how to spell it.  Yes I did.  Sorry I lied. Outro song: Steak and Eggs - If you know, you know Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I've been thinking about rebranding this podcast as an art piece.  Which I think means I don't have to try to make it funny anymore. Outro song: Canadian Idiot - Weird Al Yankovic Podcast logo by Joey Rizk

Might fuck around and become the most influential artist of my generation. Outro song: Concrete and Clay - Unit 4+2 Podcast logo by Joey Rizk

If a tree falls down in the forest, most likely it's because I sat on it. Outro song: Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh - Allan Sherman Podcast logo by Joey Rizk

If "bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks," and "tricks are for kids," does it then follow that bitches are for kids? Outro Song: Olympic Fanfare and Theme - John Williams Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'll know I've finally made it when I start talking about all the "haters" in my audience.  Be sure to send all your hate mail to [email protected]! Outro song: The Old Apartment - The Barenaked Ladies Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm just a Dwight looking for his stapler Outro Song: Ham 'N' Egg - Tribe Called Quest Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm just a husky Connor McGregor Outro song: Butterbean - The B52's Podcast logo by Joey Rizk

My therapist said she feels like she could hand me a million dollars and even then I wouldn't react.  I think that's her way of telling me I'm a bummer. Outro Song: Kombucha - Soaky Siren Podcast logo by Joey Rizk

I'm going to make merch that's just my face on a drink coaster and charge five thousand dollars for it.  Actually no, I'll charge five million for an NFT of the coaster.  No lowballers, I know what I got. Outro song: George Shrinks Theme - My Dumb Ass Logo by Joey Rizk

I've been thinking about buying a kilt.  Not a tartan one, they make these like, battle kilts that quite frankly look really comfortable.  I'm already wearing overalls everyday, I've got overall shorts that I almost fit into, a kilt isn't that much of a leap for me.  And if I get told I can't wear it I'll just complain to the news, get on tv, and then I can plug the podcast!  Wins all around. Outro song: Pepsi Man Theme Song - JAMES&GANG Podcast logo by Joey Rizk

Well hey if this whole podcasting thing doesn't work out I hear crime pays! Outro Song: Candyman - Christina Aguilera Logo by Joey Rizk

I think if I start selling merch it has to be as stupid as possible.  Like no shirts, no hoodies, only underwear, zip ties, and tea kettles.  All with the Downsizing logo, of course.  Nothing says successful business model like a sickening degree of irony. Outro song: Caillou Theme Song Remix - Attic Stein Beats Logo by Joey Rizk

Do any of you know a good kombucha recipe?  I got a starter kit, but I'm sure there's an upper limit to how good it can be.  I want to make my own, but I don't want to go around throwing a bunch of spices into a jar and end up having to drink something that tastes like watery, spicy poison.  So if you were going to give me a recipe for kombucha that tastes like that, well, don't. Outro song: Potato Chips - Slim Gaillard Logo by Joey Rizk

Hey guys, it's me again.  I'm just wondering if you know what's cool right now.  I'm a little out of the loop.  Is it Dr. Marten's? What does based mean?  Based on what?  How old am I?  I'm in my twenties.  Yeah, no I know what was cool like two days ago I just don't know if it's the same, like, right now.  That Bill Eilish guy?  He's cool right?  Yeah, okay cool thanks, uh, chief? Bro?  Guy?

I don't know if I'm going to keep writing actual descriptions to these episodes.  I mean everything you need to know is in the title.  Maybe I'll use this section for philosophical ponderings.  For example: if you're fully clothed, and submerged in a pool, and you pee, did you pee your pants? Or did you just pee in a pool and it doesn't count because your pants are already wet?  Feel free to send me your thoughts. End Song: The Hockey Song - Stompin' Tom Connors Logo by Joey Rizk

This week I earn myself a sociology degree merit badge by taking a look at some of the causes of obesity. The Take2 Podcast is in full swing in this episode folks, buckle up! End song: Thick Thighs - Priscilla Block Logo by Joey Rizk 

This week we switch things up a little bit and take stock of where we're at in this journey.  Also belts, furries, and McDonald's. End song: Junk Food Junkie - Larry Groce Logo by Joey Rizk

This week I started a new podcast within the podcast, Take2!  It's the podcast that tracks every time I flub a sentence and have to repeat it, often getting lost in the process.  Merch for Take2 coming soon!  As for Downsizing it's the usual, I talk a big game for a guy who isn't paying attention to anything, ever, and shoot from the hip with hot takes. Outro song: Big and Chunky - will.i.am Logo by Joey Rizk

This week is a portion controlled episode where I discuss anime, stunts, anime, the illuminati, and the food pyramid. My English is steadily improving, but my taste in media is not!  Feast your ears on this big sucker! Outro Song: Just a Lil' Thick - Trinidad James Ft. Lil Dicky, Mystikal Podcast logo by Joey Risk

Tune in this week as I take shots at Guy Ritchie, ramble about diets, and provide an academic analysis of P90X Outro Song: My Chick Bad - Ludacris Ft. Niki Minaj Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Tune in this week to hear more doctor shit talk, as well as a food tour of all the foods that make your lip curl in disgust.  Stay until the very end to hear me come apart completely! Outro song: They Call Me Big Mamma - Big Mamma Logo by Joey Rizk

Tune in this week where I discuss some anime, some soccer (football if you're nasty), and I try to determine if I ever even spoke English in the first place.  Keep your ears peeled for "gore was scoald," a little easter egg for you! End song: I Don't Look Good Naked Anymore - The Snake Oil Willie Band Logo by Joey Rizk

This is the technical difficulty special edition of Downsizing where, from a production standpoint, I figuratively slip and fall down a muddy hill.  Along the way I discuss the history of gyms, which includes nude men, priest fights, and gymnastics. End song:  Body - Megan Thee Stallion Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Tune in this week as I talk about the intersection of drugs and pee in a scientifically illiterate state of delirium! Outro song:  Heavyweights - Fat Joe, Big Pun, 8Ball Logo by Joey Rizk

This week I talk about breaking some rules, what it takes to be a karateka, and something that almost made me throw up!   End song: Tempo - Lizzo