I'm straight up the most bilingual podcaster on the market Outro Song: Jacuzzi - Radio Radio Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm on a real spray and pray type jam if you know what I mean. Outro Song: Bed Bugs - Amaroun Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Straight up about to do a hotel's worth of laundry ngl Outro Song: Canned Heat - Jamiroquai Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm back and sicker than ever. Outro Song: Cough Syrup - Young the Giant Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I quite literally am sweating from eating/ Outro song: Paradise Lost - Chihara Minori Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Forget exercise, getting to a point where you can talk to a real person in customer service is the only true test of endurance. Outro song: Purple Lamborghini - Skrillex & Rick Ross Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Oh by the way it's Halloween.  Didn't really mention it, but it is.  To be clear, I do not wish you  a happy Halloween, it is simply Halloween. Outro song: Spooky Scary Skeleton Dance Remix - Nick Rodgers Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm like Superman for cats. Outro song: Stacy's Mom - Fountains of Wayne Podcast art by Joey Rizk

My haters are my motivators dawg Outro song: I Love Pumpkins! - Harry Kindergarten Music Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I just came across a clip from I guess a recent episode of Walking Dead where Rick is talking to cops in the present....?  Like do they have infrastructure now?  They have someone making decals and uniforms for police???   Outro Song: Your Man - Josh Turner Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Listen until the end to hear me talk about a book I sure couldn't include in the title of the episode! Outro song: Nazi Punks Fuck Off - Dead Kennedys Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Damn Darude looks like Fred Durst if he was in A-ha. Outro Song: Party Rock Anthem -LMFAO With appearances by Sandstorm - Darude Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I watched a video today of a guy who ate his body weight in beans and I'm about to pop off... Outro Song: Vyvanse - Grounders Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I might go ham and just straight up have a bubble bath, like I just don't give a damn haha Outro Song: Somebody That I Used To Know - Gotye Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I plan on getting so grossly muscular I look like Baki's older brother. Outro Song: Ants Marching - Dave Matthews Band Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I watch one episode of Better Call Saul and all of the sudden I'm an expert on scams. Outro song: The Farmers' Market Song - Bullseye the Band Podcast art by Joey Rizk

What happened to Veta Scotia? Outro song: Barrett's Privateers - Stan Rogers Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm going to get myself banned from the Maritimes. Outro Song: Vacation - The Go-Go's Podcast Art by Joey Rizk

Really just going full basement troll on this one. Outro Song: Resonance - T.M. Revolution Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Think I might get myself sent to prison for the gym culture. Outro Song: Glasses On - Collin Richardson Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Bro who knew sleep made you feel good? Outro Song: Mr. Sandman - The Chordettes Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I legit spilled so much and I'm just going to go to bed and not clean it up because I am an adult, which means I have the freedom to behave like a child. Outro Song: Limoncello - Skratch Bastid Podcast art by Joey Rizk

All this math makes me crave a nice heaping helping of Soylent Green. Outro Song: Hakuna Matata - The Lion King Podcast art by Joey Rizk

So funny to say you're too fat for squats and deadlifts when powerlifters exist. Outro Song: Oh...Canada - Classified Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm going to become The Avalanches of podcasting and just make an entire episode entirely out of samples of other podcasts. Outro Song: Wedding March - BobMusic Podcast art by Joey Rizk

No seriously, I put the whole song at the end, listen to the lyrics.  My man made an incel anthem. Is there a statute of limitations on being an extra-large creep-eroni pizza? Outro Song: Invisible - Clay Aiken Podcast Art by Joey Rizk

You can't demonetize a free podcast, suckers. Outro Song: NARUTO DUBSTEP REMIX! - PUNYASO Tunes Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Nice Outro Song: Limb From Limb - Protest the Hero Podcast art by Joey Rizk

It takes every ounce of will I have to not just constantly imitate that one guy's snore.  If you know you know.  By which I mean you know it's the funniest thing in the world. Outro Song: I'm Blue - Eiffel 65 Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Finished the episode early but fell asleep on the couch, so now I'm posting at 2:30 am.  Balanced, as all things should be. Outro Song: Il est des notres - Michel Durand et son orchestre Podcast art by Joey Rizk

My new goal body is Ichigo Kurosaki.  Or maybe that Lieutenant guy that's always eating chips... Outro Song: Infected - Bad Religion Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm going to get a binaural microphone so you can really feel like I'm sucking the energy out of you at a party. Outro Song: My Kitchen - Gucci Mane Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm having a hard time moving these days, I guess it's all the ice in my veins. Outro song: I said it in the episode you silly goose Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Don't worry, I made sure to go after both people who could beat me up in person, and also people that could steal my identity online.   Outro song: Nightmare - Avenged Sevenfold Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I think I made my throat worse throughout this episode so never say I don't suffer for my art. Outro Song: DJ Shithead - So Dumb Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Gonna straight up amputate my neck if it keeps acting out. Outro Song: On The Precipice of Defeat - Shiro Sagisu Podcast art by Joey Rizk

It's a chilling thought that if I get assassinated right after posting this episode, my last words will be about how much it costs to de-bottle your asshole. Outro Song: Tu vuò fa' l'Americano - Renato Carosone Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm dummy thicc, but like in the British sense.  That is to say, I'm a fucking idiot. Outro Song: April Fools' - Rufus Wainwright Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I just realized this episode is book ended with fear.  Good name for a Hardy Boy's novel by the way.  Anyone remember the Hardy Boys?  They're like if the Scooby Doo gang were Republicans. Outro Song: Surfin' Bird - The Trashmen Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Unironically the end song is a bop Outro song: Corn - Blake Shelton Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Yo I'm straight up going to start a boba asmr tik tok Outro Song: The Wheels on the Bus - Noodle and Pals Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Gonna go watch a movie named after me (Jackass lol). Outro song: Testosterone - Bush Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Update:  The crunch wraps were pretty tight (yeah I made two) Outro song: Gordon Ramsay Remix - TWH Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Thinking about becoming a hentai model for the meme. Outro Song: Tokyo Drift - Teriyaki Boys Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I think I'm going to create a tiktok account where I do all of the dances and the cute little trends, but the audio is just me unleashing a blood curdling scream for the entire video. Outro song: Sharp Darts - The Streets Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Literally doing the dishes as I post this because I'm straight up down to earth. Outro song: The Dumb Song - Dale Watson Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm going to become the Magnus Carlsen of Tetris. Outro song: Korobeiniki Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Answering some questions that certainly were directed at me. Outro song: Like A Surgeon - Weird Al Yankovic Podcast art by Joey Rizk