Chinwe Williams, author of Seen, joins us to discuss how parents can truly connect with and support their teenagers by understanding their emotional needs and fostering a growth mindset.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesParenting teenagers in today’s world is a challenge that many find daunting. The teenage years are fraught with turbulence, from the storm of emotional changes to academic pressure and growing responsibilities. As parents, it’s easy to feel like we’re navigating deep waters without a map. We want to be there for our teens, guiding them through their struggles and helping them build resilience. But, sometimes our well-intentioned advice seems to miss the mark, leaving both sides frustrated.This episode addresses a core issue that many parents face—making their teens feel truly seen. Adolescents deal with a host of issues that make them feel invisible or misunderstood. They struggle with anxiety, battle societal expectations, and often encounter mixed messages in their environments. By ensuring that they are ‘seen’, parents can provide critical support. Enter Dr. Chinwe Williams, counselor, educator, and author of the book "Seen". Chinwe dives into the pivotal role of meaningful connections between parents and teenagers. During our discussion, Chinwe emphasizes creating an environment where teens feel heard and appreciated—not just for their accomplishments, but for their unique selves. By validating their feelings and fostering an authentic relationship, parents can help teens recognize their self-worth and develop confidence.In this episode, Chinwe shares her own journey into the realm of adolescent counseling and outlines the essence of her book "Seen". She delves into practical strategies for connecting with teenagers, underscoring the importance of fostering a safe space for them to express themselves. We explore various themes including:The Importance of Being SeenChinwe discusses the foundational understanding that young people need someone who knows them beyond their academic or extracurricular accolades. By providing genuine care and displaying interest in their lives, parents and mentors can powerfully impact a teenager's sense of self-worth. Chinwe shares some touching real-life stories, illustrating these concepts.Speaking Life: Encouraging PositivityThe concept of "Speaking Life" involves positively affirming a teen's abilities and potential. Chinwe advises parents to be specific when they praise their children, focusing on authentic character traits, effort, and resilience, rather than empty compliments. Parental Responses that May HarmSometimes, in our attempts to comfort or advise our kids, we inadvertently dismiss their feelings or respond in ways that may increase their distress. Chinwe highlights the importance of avoiding invalidating statements and explains how approaches like shaming, labeling, and dismissing can be detrimental. Instead, she advocates for acknowledging and validating teens' experiences to nurture trust and communication.Understanding and Reshaping Negative ThoughtsThroughout the discussion, we delve into techniques for helping teenagers manage negative thought patterns. Using the THINK methodology, Chinwe outlines how teens can critically examine and reframe their thoughts, promoting healthier mental states and fostering resilience in the face of challenges.Addressing Dark ThoughtsIn her book, Chinwe provides insights on how to tackle one of the most serious issues: suicidal thoughts. This section offers parents critical guidance on responding with empathy and obtaining the right support for their teens.In the Episode...Our conversation with Chinwe is packed with practical advice and heartfelt reflections on supporting teenagers. On top of these topics, we explore: The neuroscience behind why emotional support is crucial Strategies to reduce anxiety and promote a growth mindset How to engage in meaningful conversations with teens The role of non-biological mentors in a teen's lifeIf you’re ready to dive deeper into these concepts and enrich your communication with your teenager, don’t miss this episode. Reach out to Chinwe Williams on her website or Instagram for more valuable insights. Thanks for tuning in! Don’t forget to subscribe, and we’ll see you next week.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Claudia Black, author of Your Recovery, Your Life for Teens, joins us to discuss emotional literacy, the power of community in recovery, and how parents can break enabling patterns to support their teens' journey to sobriety.Adolescence is a turbulent time, with teens often encountering overwhelming emotions and difficult life choices. For some, substances like alcohol and drugs become a crutch, a misguided attempt to handle the tumultuous world around them. The complexities of addiction at such a young age can be particularly daunting, both for the teens embroiled in substance use and for the parents striving to help them find their way out.The challenges of navigating a teen’s journey from substance use to recovery are multifaceted. At its core, successful recovery involves unraveling the emotions that drive the behavior. Why do teens choose substances? Often it’s a matter of emotional choice; they're seeking belonging, escape from pain, or the comfort of numbness. When parents step back, they might find they are inadvertently enabling these escape routes, rather than challenging their teen to face and manage the real issues.Enter Claudia Black, a seasoned expert in adolescent and family recovery. With a career spanning 45 years in residential treatment and pioneering research on children from addictive family systems, Claudia is the author of Your Recovery, Your Life for Teens. Her book serves as a workbook, filled with exercises that encourage self-discovery and emotional engagement, paving the way for a clean and fulfilling life.Discovering Emotional LiteracyUnderpinning Claudia's approach is the concept of emotional literacy – understanding and processing emotions without resorting to substances. Adolescents often harbor significant shame and secrecy surrounding their behavior, fearing disappointment from their parents. Claudia emphasizes addressing these emotions constructively to cultivate self-worth and align with personal values, a theme we explore in-depth on today’s show.To guide teens through this emotionally-charged landscape, Claudia's exercises encourage them to identify and acknowledge their feelings, breaking down the barriers of shame and secrecy. She introduces techniques for teens to manage their emotions without resorting to substance use—empowering them to transform behavioral patterns fundamentally.Building a Supportive CommunityEssential to recovering from substance use is community. Claudia shares insights on how communal experiences in recovery settings, where young people can meet peers facing similar challenges, help instill a belief that life can indeed be different—and better. These powerful connections often motivate teens to embrace change and build healthier lifestyles.Parental Involvement and EducationParents play a crucial role in their child's recovery journey. Claudia discusses how parents must adopt new strategies, aligning their support with the therapist's guidance and confronting enabling behaviors. Understanding addiction’s impact on the brain, recognizing patterns, and utilizing leverage without resorting to fear-based tactics are keys to breaking destructive cycles and fostering genuine change.Unmasking the True SelfIn her book, Claudia also details how to unmask those secretive layers that often accompany addiction. By discerning the underlying emotions and addressing the shame associated with secrets, teens can learn to navigate life more transparently and authentically, resulting in long-term recovery.In the Episode...Throughout our discussion, Claudia provides a wealth of knowledge for parents and teens alike. She highlights:Methods for teens to connect with their emotions safelyStrategies for parents to support recovery without enablingThe importance of aligning parental roles and understanding individual dynamicsInsights into breaking generational cycles of addictionIf you're confronting the challenges of teen substance use, this conversation offers vital guidance. To learn more about Claudia's work, check out Your Recovery, Your Life for Teens on Amazon, or visit her website at claudiablack.com. Thanks for tuning in—don’t forget to subscribe and share! Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Paul C. Holinger, author of Affects, Cognition, and Language as Foundations of Human Development, delves into the role of interest in building self-esteem, the dangers of physical punishment, and strategies for fostering curiosity in teenagers.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show Notes:Raising a teenager often feels like navigating a maze of emotions and varying interests, where ensuring their well-being and fostering self-esteem can be challenging. Teens are at a pivotal stage in their lives where they form their own identities, learn to manage emotions, and develop a sense of curiosity that fuels their passions and purpose for the future. However, societal pressures and the stresses of everyday life can often suppress their natural interest and exploration. As parents, teachers, or guardians, it's crucial to nurture these aspects, enabling teens to thrive.Our guest this week, Paul C. Holinger, is a professor of psychiatry and a renowned author known for his work on emotion understanding and development in children. His book, Affects, Cognition, and Language as Foundations of Human Development, provides a foundation for understanding how integral elements like emotion, language, and thought processes contribute to human development. In our conversation, Paul delves deep into the significance of 'affect'—essentially our emotional responses—and how understanding and verbalizing these emotions can aid in building a more robust personal identity in teens.In the episode, Paul outlines the importance of distinguishing positive and negative affects in teenagers and explains why negative feelings, although more abundant, often demand urgent attention. He shares insights on how parents can shift negative affects into learning opportunities through open communication, transforming anger or distress into a lens of curiosity. Instead of suppressing emotions with physical punishment, Paul advocates for understanding the root cause of emotions, promoting a healthy dialogue that can drastically improve parent-child relationships.One of the significant areas of our discussion focuses on the impact of using physical punishment as a means of discipline. Paul highlights a disturbing correlation between physical punishment and negative outcomes like antisocial behavior, decreased self-control, and detrimental impacts on mental health. This revelation challenges the preconceived notion that stricter discipline equates to better-behaved children. Instead, Paul encourages parents to adopt an approach steeped in understanding, empathy, and most importantly, curiosity.The conversation further explores how teens can be encouraged to maintain motivation and interest, especially when faced with arduous tasks like studying or project completion. Paul shares that cultivating a sense of genuine interest or aligning tasks with rewarding outcomes can help teens navigate through negativity, finding joy in both the process and the result.In this Episode, We'll Also Cover:How to recognize and validate a teen's emotional experiences.The nuances of interest as a tool to combat distress and boredom.Constructive alternatives to physical punishment.Encouraging teens to verbalize emotions effectively.Join us in unraveling these aspects with Paul C. Holinger, and learn how you can better support the emotional and intellectual journeys of the teens in your life. If you're looking to foster deeper connections and cultivate a nurturing environment for growth, this episode offers invaluable perspectives. Don’t forget to subscribe to Talking to Teens for more expert insights and advice around parenting the teenagers in your life!Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Chadi Nabhan, author of The Cancer Journey, joins us to discuss how parents can talk to their teenagers about cancer, understand the common misconceptions, and best support teens when their peers or family members face a cancer diagnosis.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesCancer is a challenging topic for families to discuss, especially when teenagers are involved. The fear, confusion, and misinformation surrounding cancer can make these conversations even more daunting. At some point, your teen might encounter a peer, teacher, or friend's family dealing with a cancer journey, and knowing how to communicate effectively about this sensitive subject is crucial. Parents often grapple with questions: how much should we tell our teens? How do we prepare our teenagers to engage with peers facing cancer in their families?To shed light on these difficult yet essential conversations, we’re joined by Dr. Chadi Nabhan, a hematologist and medical oncologist, experienced in both patient care and cancer education. As the author of The Cancer Journey and host of the Healthcare Unfiltered podcast, Chadi discusses his approach to making complex medical topics accessible to a broad audience. His career focus on simplifying cancer information makes him the perfect guest for untangling this potentially overwhelming subject.In this episode, we delve into common misconceptions about cancer, such as the belief that cancer is primarily hereditary, and how these misunderstandings can impact conversations with teens. Chadi explains that while genes can play a role, many cancers develop without a family history, leaving individuals puzzled by their diagnoses. We explore the idea of cancer as a broad collection of diseases, each with unique characteristics and treatment paths. This distinction is vital when discussing potential impacts and prognoses with teens who may face generalizations about cancer prognosis.Communicating Effectively and RespectfullyDr. Nabhan shares insights on preparing teenagers to have compassionate conversations when a peer or their family members are facing cancer. He emphasizes the importance of not dismissing the severity of a cancer diagnosis, while also being respectful of personal boundaries regarding how much information others are willing to share. Teenagers should be encouraged to ask respectful questions and offer support without pressure, perhaps by simply being present or asking, “How can I help?”Furthermore, Chadi offers advice for parents going through their own cancer journey. He stresses the importance of timing and transparency in sharing a diagnosis with teens, noting when it might be best to wait before fully disclosing details, to gather complete information first. Parents can involve teens in medical appointments or calls to doctors, fostering involvement and understanding and providing a foundation for open communication.Empowering Teens with Knowledge and CompassionEducating teens about preventable cancers linked to viruses, like HPV, and the importance of vaccines as preventive measures are also highlighted in the discussion. Understanding these factors can empower teens with the knowledge to make informed health decisions and support their friends thoughtfully.By providing teens with the facts, helping them decode medical jargon, and encouraging empathy, parents can foster more meaningful and less fear-driven interactions surrounding cancer.Further Exploration in the Episode...Beyond the topics mentioned, the episode also covers:The role of targeted therapies and research advancements.How teens can cope with anxiety when they hear about cancer diagnoses in the news or through friends.Effective strategies for families to maintain open communication channels about tough topics.Don’t miss this insightful episode, and remember to subscribe to Talking to Teens for more expert advice on navigating the teenage years.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

J.D. Kinimaka, author of "The Competitive Spirit," explains how parents can develop a competitive attitude in their teens, emphasizing mental toughness, resilience, and the benefits of failure.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesParenting teens often means navigating their desire for independence while encouraging personal growth. One way we aim to prepare our teens for life's challenges is through fostering a competitive spirit—not solely for the sake of winning, but to build resilience and persistence. In a world filled with pressures and high expectations, teaching teens to push through adversity can be crucial for their future success.While many of us want our teens to "do their best," J.D. Kinimaka challenges us to go deeper. A long-time athletic coach and father of star athletes, J.D. asserts that settling for "good enough" can lead to complacency. Instead, he believes that instilling a drive to be the best can prepare teens for life's broader challenges. He joins us this week to discuss his beliefs about sports, competition, and why a strong competitive nature can prepare teens not just to meet, but to surpass life's demands.In our interview, J.D. emphasizes the importance of mental preparation, alongside physical training, as key to nurturing competitive spirit. He explains how encouraging teens to engage in mental reps—visualizing their approach and execution—develops discipline and attention to detail, skills applicable far beyond athletics. J.D. clarifies the controversial idea that chasing wins is about more than just the scoreboard; it's about teaching perseverance and strategic thinking.Shifting the Perspective on WinningJ.D. explains that focusing solely on effort and participation, while well-intentioned, can inadvertently set limits on a teen's belief in their potential. Instead of just praising them for trying, he suggests encouraging them to analyze what winners do differently. This isn't about casting judgment but fostering a growth mindset that challenges teens to continually assess and improve their strategies in any area of life, from academics to social interactions.J.D. discusses how experiences from sports translate into lifelong lessons. Teens learn to confront failure, recalibrate their approaches, and work steadily towards improvement. By working through challenges rather than avoiding them, teens develop the discipline to push harder and achieve more than they might have believed possible.Finding Motivation WithinWhen it comes to motivation, J.D. dismisses the Hollywood notion of miraculous pep talks. He insists that genuine enthusiasm for improvement must come from within. While external prompts can stir short-term action, understanding one's weaknesses and setting personal goals result in sustained effort and resilience. J.D. shares strategies for inspiring intrinsic motivation, emphasizing the need for parents and coaches to help teens identify their inner drive and channel it productively.He shares anecdotes from his coaching experiences, outlining real-life applications of competition lessons, how he deals with teens struggling with self-doubt, and ways he helps them translate past failures into motivation for future endeavors. Through open discussions and constructive feedback, J.D. illustrates how nurturing a competitive spirit ultimately empowers teens to face any of life's arenas with determination and confidence.Teaching Resiliency Through LossJ.D. speaks about how setbacks and losses should be viewed not as failures, but as opportunities to learn and grow. He explains his philosophy: when a teen walks away from a disappointing performance, the critical message parents and coaches should convey is that "nobody cares" beyond the lesson one takes from the experience. This liberates teens from insecurities about others' judgments and refocuses their energy on self-improvement.His insights extend beyond physical competitions, advocating that parents apply these principles in everyday life, enabling teens to develop the confidence to overcome both real and perceived obstacles with a resilient and competitive spirit.In the Episode…We cover these topics and more in my conversation with J.D. On top of the insights shared above, we also discuss:How mental reps differ from physical practice Building discipline through attention to detailRecognizing and responding to red flags in teen behavior The balance between support and independence as a parentJoin us for a thought-provoking discussion on how to raise resilient, competitive teens ready to tackle life's challenges. Don’t forget to share and subscribe for more insights from leading parenting experts.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Dr. Sophie Mort, author of "Unstuck," provides insights into breaking negative habits, understanding teen decision-making, and reshaping the narratives surrounding adolescence to better support teens' growth and self-esteem.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesNavigating teenage years is often associated with challenging habits and evolving identities—both for teens and their parents. Adolescence brings about a series of complex transitions, raising questions about how to best guide teenagers through this dynamic chapter of their lives. While society often spells out dire warnings about the teenage years, effective communication and understanding can pave the way for smoother family dynamics and healthier growth patterns.Many of us grapple with forming or breaking habits—whether it's a teen procrastinating on homework or a parent reacting emotionally in family disagreements. Often, these habits tether us to familiar yet unproductive routines. Dr. Sophie Mort sheds light on how these patterns form and evolve, making it clear that a blend of thought, tailored interventions, and empathy can recalibrate our responses.Dr. Sophie Mort, a clinical psychologist and the mental health expert at Headspace, joins us this week. She's not only the author of "A Manual for Being Human" but also the critically acclaimed book "Unstuck," a guide about breaking free from negative habits. Together, we dissect the nature of habits, explore the age-old debate of 'good' versus 'bad' habits, and delve into the societal and familial factors that magnetize our actions. Sophie eloquently clarifies that a habit's alignment with personal values and aspirations should define its nature—not arbitrary societal judgments.Understanding Teen Habits and ValuesSophie's approach encourages parents to redefine how they view their teens’ habits, emphasizing alignment with personal values over rigid categorizations of good or bad. The discussion evolves into how to foster dialogue that prioritizes a teen's perspective and desires for their future—tools that empower both personal development and improved family relations.Decision-Making Amidst AnxietyThe journey into adolescence amplifies the need for navigational skills in decision-making. We explore when it's appropriate for teens to rely on their gut and when they should delve into deeper analysis. Sophie points out the nuanced relationship between anxiety and gut instincts, highlighting how fostering mindfulness can enhance informed decision-making.The Drama Triangle: Reshaping Family DynamicsFamily conflicts often play out in predictable roles labeled by the drama triangle: victim, persecutor, rescuer. These roles, if left unchecked, forge cyclical conflicts that simmer over time. Sophie shines a light on these recurring dynamics, providing strategies to break free from these patterns and reposition family members into more empowering roles.Resisting Stereotype PressuresTeen identity is frequently influenced by deeply ingrained societal stereotypes, often resulting in pigeonholed expectations. We explore stereotype embodiment and its impact on teenage behaviors and self-image. Sophie’s insights into fostering media literacy encourage teens to critically evaluate the narratives they consume, aiding them in constructing resilient self-concepts.Confidence Vs. Self-EsteemLastly, distinguishing between confidence and self-esteem becomes vital in nurturing overall well-being. Understanding these differences helps parents support their teens in cultivating a robust sense of self-worth that transcends external accolades and societal pressures.In the Episode…Alongside these themes, Sophie and I delve into:The benefits of mindful decision-makingEmpowering teens to define their identity beyond stereotypesTechniques to engage teens in constructive, future-oriented dialoguesMethods for parents to model authentic imperfectionThis episode is a journey into fostering environments where both teens and parents grow beyond habitual ruts towards more authentic lives. Tune in for an enriching discussion packed with actionable insights, and subscribe to ensure you never miss out on empowering content!Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Nate Hilger, author of The Parent Trap, explores the complex expectations placed on parents, the importance of skill-building over mere test scores, and how societal changes could improve outcomes for all children, including shifts away from zero-sum thinking in education.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesParenting in the modern world can often feel like an insurmountable challenge, compounded by pressures to not only care for our children but also groom them into successful, independent adults. The journey to nurturing well-rounded human beings involves an intricate web of skills that many parents are unaware they're even supposed to be weaving. Love and care are crucial, but they alone do not provide the full spectrum of skills teens need to flourish in the world.Enter Nate Hilger, an economist and data scientist whose insights have graced the pages of The New York Times and The Washington Post. His pioneering work focuses on the origins of success in children and highlights how parents can better navigate the landscape of skill-building. In his enlightening book, The Parent Trap, Nate challenges conventional ideals of what it means to parent effectively. He's joining us this week to delve into how society’s expectations of parents are often both unrealistic and misaligned with actual child development.The Parenting Trap UncoveredNate identifies three primary manifestations of the "parent trap": unrealistic expectations, a lack of language to describe these expectations without blame, and the political underrepresentation of parents. He contends that society places an undue burden on parents, expecting them to be both nurturers and skilled educators without the necessary support. This disproportionate pressure often results in a cycle where lower-income parents, despite their deep love for their children, cannot provide the same developmental advantages as wealthier parents.The book draws on historical insights, such as studies from the mid-20th century where better early learning environments significantly bolstered long-term outcomes for children, underscoring the immense power of environment over innate ability. Nate argues for a societal shift to focus on skill-building, a universal challenge often misguidedly associated with parental 'failures.'Rethinking Zero-Sum ParentingAmong the important revelations Nate shares is the myth of zero-sum parenting—the idea that one child's success equates to another's failure. This notion fuels hyper-competitive behaviors and focus on elite university admissions, wrongly overshadowing the more expansive benefits of creating successful and healthy communities. Nate suggests that a collaborative approach in raising competent, capable youth benefits everyone—an uplifting shift away from isolating views about limited resources and opportunities.Improving Education OutcomesHighlighting groundbreaking research with renowned economist Raj Chetty, Nate reveals how the quality of early educational experiences, such as kindergarten teaching, has long-lasting impacts on a child's financial success. Innovations like smaller classroom sizes and teacher effectiveness often yield returns many parents don’t fully realize and should advocate for more universally. Unfortunately, income alone does not resolve the disparities in access to quality educational resources.Investing in Professional DevelopmentRather than saddling parents with the impossible task of mastering every skill their child might need, Nate proposes broader access to professional resources. He discusses what he learned from attending courses designed for struggling parents, arguing that while these programs can offer valuable insights, they often overwhelm rather than assist, emphasizing that professional support for children's development is critical.In the Episode...Nate presents a compelling argument for rethinking societal and parental roles in education. We also discuss:How blended family environments affect outcomesThe ongoing debate about the role of parent trainingThe role of income in college decisionsWhy kids’ long-term success hinges on more than just moneyNate's insights challenge fundamental assumptions about parenting while offering practical solutions to improve the social landscape for nurturing successful generations. To learn more, keep an eye out for Nate's Substack, "Kidding Around," where he continues to explore these pivotal ideas. If you found this discussion impactful, make sure to subscribe and follow along for more episodes tackling the art and science of parenting teenagers. Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Sean Grover, author of Shortcuts to a Happier Life, dives into the psychology behind teenage behaviors and how group therapy can significantly aid in their personal growth, offering insights into handling teen anger, breaking toxic patterns, and understanding parental roles in teen development.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesRaising teenagers can sometimes feel akin to navigating an emotional rollercoaster; the highs are exhilarating, yet the lows can leave us questioning everything we thought we knew about being a parent. At times, we may unintentionally become an obstacle to our children's growth rather than a catalyst for their development. When teens repeatedly find themselves stuck or struggling, it might be the environment—including our own behaviors—that's keeping them from forging a path forward.Our guest this week, Sean Grover, a seasoned therapist and author of multiple books including "Shortcuts to a Happier Life," brings an illuminating perspective on how adolescents navigate their formative years. As an advocate for group therapy, Sean explains how it stands out as the most effective method for helping teenagers, with studies showing it to be 73% more effective compared to other therapies. Adolescents thrive when they have a community; group therapy provides a unique space where teens can relate, share, and learn from each other’s experiences, fostering personal growth.The Power of Group TherapyAdolescents naturally form groups as they search for their place in the world. Yet, not enough therapists focus on group work for teens due to its rowdy, sometimes chaotic nature. Sean discusses how group therapy can help teens identify and articulate their feelings by observing peers in similar situations. This peer interaction demystifies their perceived unique struggles, allowing them the emotional freedom to grow without the isolation that individual therapy may bring.Feeling physical pain or discomfort may often indicate emotional unrest among teenagers. Sean highlights how psychological struggles can manifest as physical symptoms in teens who might not have the vocabulary to express their distress. Encountering such signs should prompt consideration of underlying emotional issues.Balancing Expectations and GrowthSean speaks candidly about the importance of setting realistic dreams with teens. Encouragement is vital, but so is cautioning against creating pressure through high expectations. Praising teens with broad superlatives like "you're so smart" might hinder their motivation, as the fear of failure becomes daunting. Instead, fostering a growth-oriented mindset, where perseverance is emphasized over perfect outcomes, empowers teens to navigate life's inevitable roadblocks and adjust their paths as needed.Recognizing Parent BurnoutParental burnout doesn't receive the attention it deserves. The strains of parenting often result in exhaustion, irritability, and strained relationships. Sean shares personal stories and effective strategies for managing these stresses, emphasizing the importance of self-care and maintaining a healthy partnership with the other parent to ensure a balanced home environment.Addressing Anger and Toxic PatternsSean challenges parents to self-reflect before labeling their children with anger issues. Oftentimes, children reflect the negative emotions they see in us. Our task is to break toxic cycles by being aware of our behaviors, and understanding what might be behind a teenager's outburst—feelings of shame, hurt, or isolation.In the Episode…There's much more to discover in this insightful episode with Sean Grover. We also discuss:How group therapy normalizes adolescent emotionsThe role of physical activities in managing teen anxietySpotting and addressing toxic caretakingHelping teens navigate peer pressure and find mentorsBreaking free from toxic relationships and mindsetsTo explore Sean's profound insights further, make sure to grab a copy of "Shortcuts to a Happier Life." If you found this conversation enlightening, consider subscribing and sharing this podcast with others tuning into the evolving journey of raising teenagers.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Dr. Matthew Zakreski, author of The Neurodivergent Playbook, joins us to discuss the unique challenges of raising gifted and twice exceptional teens, emphasizing social-emotional learning, handling failures, and fostering authentic connections.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesRaising a gifted or exceptionally intelligent teenager sounds like a dream come true. However, studies reveal that when teens exhibit extraordinary abilities in one area, they often face challenges in other aspects of their lives. Managing these disparities while ensuring your child thrives remains an intricate part of parenting that requires careful strategy and understanding.Our guest for this episode, Dr. Matthew Zakreski, brings invaluable insights into this balancing act. As a clinical psychologist specializing in neurodivergent children and teens, and the author of The Neurodivergent Playbook, Matthew has both personal and professional experience in dealing with giftedness and twice exceptionality. Identified as a gifted child himself, Matthew understands the highs and lows that come with high intelligence paired with conditions like ADHD—an understanding he now incorporates into his work with neurodivergent teens.In the episode, Matthew and I delve into how parents can nurture the potential of their teens while addressing their struggles. We discuss the phenomenon of skill transfer and how balancing advanced abilities with areas where teens might lag can be challenging but manageable with the right approach. Matthew emphasizes fostering a deeper understanding of neurodivergence, granting children the permission to embrace their uniqueness.Social-Emotional Learning and Authentic ConnectionsOne of the poignant topics discussed is the concept of social-emotional learning (SEL). Matthew notes that while it might seem natural for all teens to navigate social interactions, gifted children often miss out on learning important social skills because they float through academic challenges without needing these coping strategies. Educating kids on these skills systematically allows them to develop into more autonomous and socially-aware individuals, ready to face the tumultuous teen years with resilience.Authenticity plays a crucial role in these interactions. Teens often crave genuine connections, and as parents, showing your true self can help bridge any perceived gaps. Sharing personal stories, initiating honest conversations, and validating their experiences can significantly impact their social development.Handling Failures and Building ResilienceFailure is inevitable, but it is also an essential part of growth. Matthew shares insightful anecdotes about allowing teens to experience failures and learn from them. The key is finding the balance between guiding them through their mistakes and letting them navigate their challenges. This includes understanding what it means to fail and planning how to respond when things don't go as planned. Providing a supportive environment where teens know they are not alone in their struggles can help mitigate the emotional fallout from failure.Matthew's approach involves recognizing replacement language teens might use to mask their true feelings. Phrases like “I hate school” or “Everyone hates me” often conceal more profound emotional states. By addressing the feelings behind these statements, parents can better support their teens through their emotional upheavals.The Power of Pro-social BehaviorMatthew sheds light on the importance of teaching teens pro-social behaviors—balancing their needs with the needs of others without leaning too far towards selflessness or selfishness. Real-world scenarios like navigating peer pressure, handling social dynamics, or making ethical decisions at parties highlight the need for such skills. Encouraging mutual respect and understanding can significantly improve teens' social interactions and emotional well-being.Additional Insights in the EpisodeHow living authentically connects to social developmentThe concept of 'body doubling' as a motivational toolStrategies for motivating bored and disengaged teensThe balance between embracing passions and managing practical responsibilitiesBy implementing strategies that enhance social-emotional learning, encourage handling failures gracefully, and foster authentic connections, we can better support our neurodivergent teens in navigating their unique journeys.If you loved this conversation and want more from Matthew Zakreski, be sure to check out his book, The Neurodivergent Playbook, which offers a treasure trove of advice, stories, and research tailored for parents of neurodivergent teens. Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and tune in to our podcast for more insightful episodes!Learn more about Matthew’s work at the Neurodiversity Collective or follow his speaking engagements at drmattzakreski.com.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Charlotte Markey, author of Adultish, joins us to discuss teen body image and well-being, sharing research-based strategies for fostering body gratitude and combating diet culture.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesAs a parent, you want your teen to feel confident, secure, and comfortable in their own skin. However, in today’s image-conscious society, this is no easy feat. From advertisements filled with unrealistic standards to the pressures of social media, teens face significant challenges that can negatively impact their body image and overall mental health. Even the most well-meaning parents can inadvertently contribute to their teens' body image issues. The messages we send through our own actions and words can sometimes do more harm than good. Understanding these subtleties is crucial for promoting a healthier self-view in our teenagers.Today, we’re diving into the science behind teen body image with Dr. Charlotte Markey, an expert in body image, eating behaviors, and weight management for over 25 years, and author of four books, including the latest, "Adultish: The Body Image Book for Life." Charlotte is here to provide valuable insights into how body image develops during the transition to adulthood and shares practical advice on how parents can guide their teens through this vulnerable period.The Power of Body GratitudeOne of the fundamental strategies Charlotte emphasizes is practicing body gratitude and appreciation. Rather than focusing on our perceived flaws, we should highlight the aspects of our bodies that we like or appreciate. Charlotte discusses the importance of reversing the negative internal narratives that many of us - and our children - have internalized over the years.By fostering a culture at home where positive body talk is normalized, parents can help their teens develop a more affirmative and appreciative relationship with their bodies. She shares simple, research-backed exercises that parents and teens can do together to promote body gratitude, which can have immediate positive effects on body image and general well-being.Battling Diet CultureDiet culture is pervasive and often sends harmful messages about body image and self-worth. Charlotte takes a firm stand against these messages, arguing that most popular dieting methods are not only ineffective but can also be harmful. Instead, she advocates for intuitive eating - a philosophy that encourages individuals to listen to their body’s hunger and fullness cues and to eat in a way that feels natural and satisfying.She breaks down ways parents can combat diet culture at home by modeling intuitive eating and creating a positive food environment that doesn’t demonize certain foods or glorify others. Charlotte also gives pointers on how to talk to your teens about diet culture critically, helping them recognize and resist its harmful influences.Social Media and Body ImageSocial media can be a double-edged sword. While it offers incredible connectivity, it also exposes teens to continuous comparisons and unrealistic body standards. Charlotte elaborates on research showing the negative impacts of social media on teen body image and mental health, and she offers practical advice for mitigating these effects. She suggests having open, critical discussions about the content teens interact with on social platforms, encouraging them to follow positive and inspiring profiles while unfollowing those that focus on unrealistic beauty standards. Limiting daily social media use can also lead to significant improvements in mental health and reduce anxiety and FOMO (fear of missing out).Fostering Resilient Body ImageParents play a pivotal role in shaping their teens’ body image and self-esteem. Charlotte discusses the importance of open communication and creating a home environment where body positivity and self-acceptance are the norms. She shares tips on how parents can better support their teens by offering non-judgmental spaces for discussion and by validating their feelings and experiences.In the Episode...Listening to this episode will equip you with effective strategies for promoting a healthier body image in your teens. You'll learn about:The role of body gratitude in improving self-imageCombating diet culture and promoting intuitive eatingThe impact of social media on teen body imageDeveloping a supportive home environment for positive body imageIdentifying maladaptive appearance investmentsTeaching teens how to support peers struggling with body image issuesThis conversation with Charlotte is an enlightening look into the science behind teen body image and how parents can make a significant positive impact. For more insights, follow Charlotte on Instagram and TikTok at @char_markey. Don't forget to share and subscribe to Talking to Teens to catch all our upcoming episodes.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Nicole Cain, author of Panic Proof, discusses how anxiety can be a helpful messenger and shares holistic approaches parents can use to help their teens understand and manage anxiety and panic attacks.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesAs parents, watching our teens struggle with anxiety can be heartbreaking. Our instinct is often to help them alleviate the discomfort or make their anxiety stop. But what if the anxiety isn’t just an obstacle to overcome, but also a clue? By understanding and interpreting anxiety, we can address its root causes and help our teens find lasting wellness.This week, we’re diving into a revolutionary way of thinking about anxiety and panic attacks with Dr. Nicole Cain, a pioneer in integrative approaches for mental and emotional wellness. Nicole is the founder of the Holistic Wellness Collective and the author of Panic Proof. She aims to show us how anxiety can be seen as a helpful messenger rather than just a disrupter.A Paradigm Shift on AnxietyNicole’s journey began with her own struggles with anxiety and observing anxiety in her loved ones. Traditional messages suggested that anxiety was a life sentence, often treated with medications that did more harm than good. Nicole set out to challenge this narrative, exploring how anxiety could actually be understood and managed holistically.One of the key takeaways from Nicole's research is that anxiety is not simply a condition to be eradicated but rather a signal from the body that something is out of balance. By understanding these signals, we can address the underlying issues instead of just managing the symptoms.Four Steps to Managing AnxietyNicole breaks down her approach into four actionable steps, making it accessible for parents and teens alike.Calm the Nervous System: Using practical tools like the panic pack, which can include fidgets or chemical freezer packs, teens can learn to soothe their immediate physical responses to anxiety. This step takes them out of a high-stress state and prepares them for deeper reflection.Onboard the Logical Brain: Once the immediate panic has subsided, reinforcing logical thinking becomes essential. Brain games and educational activities about mental health can strengthen the connection between the body and logical brain, enabling teens to process their feelings more effectively.Integrate Back into the Body: By practicing interoception and developing awareness of their bodily sensations, teens can start to notice patterns and triggers in their anxiety. This step involves becoming familiar with how their body responds to different stimuli, fostering a sense of control and understanding.Reprogram the Nervous System: This involves systematic desensitization or exposure therapy, where teens are gradually exposed to anxiety-provoking situations in a controlled manner. This step aims to expand their comfort zones and empower them to face their fears head-on.Recognizing Different Types of AnxietyNicole has identified nine distinct types of anxiety, each presenting differently in the body. From gut anxiety showing up as digestive issues to chest anxiety marked by heart palpitations, recognizing these variations allows for more targeted interventions. Parents can use these insights to identify which type of anxiety their teen may be experiencing and find tailored strategies for relief.Environmental Factors and Holistic TreatmentsEnvironmental factors such as diet, mold in the home, and even parental anxiety can influence a teen's anxiety levels. Nicole stresses the importance of a balanced diet rich in fiber and nutrients to support gut health and overall mental wellness. Additionally, addressing external factors like a cluttered home or noisy environment can significantly improve a teen’s mental state.In the Episode…Beyond the steps and types, Nicole shares insights on:The role of the gut-brain axis in anxietyHow interoception can provide early warning signsThe importance of creating a supportive home environmentPractical ways to incorporate holistic treatments into daily lifeIf you’re curious about further resources and tools, you can find them in Nicole’s book, Panic Proof, and on her website. For ongoing tips and community support, follow her on Instagram @drnicolecain.Listen to this episode to transform how you and your teen approach anxiety. Don’t forget to subscribe to Talking to Teens for future episodes with more experts and their insights!Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Dr. Abbie Marono, author of Work in Progress, joins us to explore the science of true empowerment and resilience. We discuss how parents can help teens handle shame healthily, build resilience, and develop a realistic sense of self-worth.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesEmpowerment is a term we often throw around, imagining it means feeling good about ourselves no matter what, or disregarding others’ opinions entirely. But the truth about empowerment is much deeper–and sometimes even a little messy. For teens facing pressures from all sides, understanding and practicing true empowerment is essential for long-term resilience and self-growth.In this episode, we’re exploring how parents can really foster genuine empowerment in their teenagers. It’s not about ensuring teens never feel bad but about teaching them to build resilience by properly processing difficult emotions such as shame. Our guest, Dr. Abbie Marono, a renowned psychologist and speaker, delves into these concepts in her book, Work in Progress.Recognizing and Embracing ShameShame often gets a bad rap–it’s something we’re inclined to avoid or suppress. However, as Abbie explains, shame is not inherently bad. It’s a signal from our brain indicating that something about our actions or behaviors isn’t aligning with our values or self-image. By understanding and addressing this emotion, we can actually move closer to empowerment, rather than hiding from ourselves. In our conversation, Abbie debunks the myth that empowerment is the absence of negative emotions or the armor that deflects all criticism. Instead, true empowerment comes from accepting our flaws and using our emotions as a guide for self-improvement. We explore how parents can observe their teens for signs of emotion suppression or escapism and gently guide them towards healthier coping strategies.Resilience Through Emotional AwarenessHelping teens navigate their feelings and emotions is crucial, but understanding how to do this effectively can be challenging. Abbie introduces us to the concept of interoception–being in tune with our bodily sensations–and how this awareness can actually support better emotional regulation. For teens, learning to acknowledge their emotions without being overwhelmed by them is a key step towards building resilience and maintaining mental health.We also discuss the pressing issue of helping teens handle the emotional toll of striving for success. Abbie highlights the importance of setting goals without tying our self-worth to them and provides insights on how to coach teens through this nuanced process. Teaching teens to focus on personal growth, rather than chasing an unattainable ideal of perfection, can cultivate a healthier, more sustainable mindset.Creating A Supportive EnvironmentOne of the most critical aspects of fostering genuine empowerment in teens is creating an open, supportive home environment where emotions are discussed openly and honestly. Abbie encourages parents to model emotional awareness by talking about their own feelings and handling life's stresses transparently. This, in turn, offers teens a blueprint for their own emotional expression and resilience.We also touch on the role of teachers, mentors, and other important figures in a teen’s life. If a teen lacks a supportive home environment, these other adults can step in to provide a sense of security and guidance. Abbie shares her own experiences of relying on a supportive teacher during her tumultuous teenage years and how that shaped her path to psychological resilience and her eventual career.In the Episode...In addition to the topics discussed above, Abbie and I cover:The real definition of empowermentHow perfectionism sabotages true resilienceWhy escapist behaviors can signal deeper issuesTechniques to help teens process and accept their emotionsIf you want to learn more about fostering genuine empowerment and resilience in your teen, you won’t want to miss this episode. For more from Dr. Abbie Marono, you can find her book, Work in Progress, The Road to Empowerment, the Journey Through Shame, and follow her on Instagram at @drAbbieofficial or visit her website at Abbiemarono.com. Tune in and don't forget to subscribe for more insights on parenting teens.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Amy Betters-Midtvedt, author of You'll Make It, and They Will Too, joins us to share her experience raising five teenagers and offers practical advice on effective communication, handling dating and social media, and fostering mental health and responsibility.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesParenting teens can often feel like navigating a minefield, fraught with miscommunications, emotional upheavals, and a constant barrage of new challenges. Many parents find themselves at a loss, longing for the days when their greatest worry was whether their child would eat their vegetables or play nicely with others. When it comes to teenagers, the stakes often feel much higher, and the navigation significantly murkier.How do you maintain open lines of communication with your teen? What should you do when they break the rules or need direction? How can you help them deal with the pressures of social media, or the heartbreak of their first serious relationship?We’re joined this week by Amy Betters-Midtvedt, an author and seasoned parent who knows these challenges all too well. Amy is the author of the new book, You'll Make It, and They Will Too: Everything No One Talks About When You're Parenting Teens. With five teenagers of her own, Amy has seen and experienced the multitudes of teenage tribulations and triumphs. Her engaging narratives and insightful advice have garnered her over a million readers and appearances in publications like HuffPost and Parents Magazine.The Inspiration Behind the BookAmy reveals that the idea for her book came from personal moments of loneliness and confusion, wondering if other parents dealt with similar struggles. She highlights that conversations about parenting teens often fall silent, creating isolation for parents. Her goal with the book is to provide guidance and camaraderie, sharing wisdom and commiserative anecdotes in an easily digestible format.Effective Communication with TeensOne of the standout strategies Amy discusses is the power of noticing and naming positive behaviors. Highlighting what children are doing right can help reinforce those behaviors, whereas constantly pointing out what they’re doing wrong can tear down their self-esteem and create friction. As an educator, Amy understands the profound impact that language can have on shaping a child's self-perception and her approach has been both simple and transformative.Different Kids, Different RulesAmy’s experience with five unique children underscores the necessity of individualizing rules and expectations. She compares this to how different injuries require different treatments rather than a one-size-fits-all approach. This strategy is respectful of each child’s individual journey and needs, rather than trying to enforce uniformity. This personal touch helps keep the lines of communication open and reinforces trust within the family.Handling Dating and Romantic RelationshipsWhen it comes to teenage dating and relationships, Amy underscores the importance of being a supportive, non-judgmental, listening ear. Navigating teenage heartbreak is about empathy and presence, rather than rushing in to solve or fix their problems. She also emphasizes the importance of knowing when professional help is needed for mental health issues, drawing parallels to how we wouldn’t hesitate to seek medical help for a physical injury.Welcoming the Teen Coming Home from CollegeA special chapter discusses the unique challenges and joys of welcoming home a college student. Amy talks about managing expectations and understanding that the child who comes back from college may be different from the one who left. Supporting their newfound independence while maintaining house rules requires a delicate balance, but it’s a rewarding experience.In the Episode…Amy Betters-Midtvedt shares invaluable advice that any parent of a teen can benefit from:How to maintain open and effective communication with teensBalancing different rules for different kidsEmpathizing and supporting teens through heartbreakUnderstanding the importance of professional help for mental healthNavigating the dynamics when college kids return homeThis episode is packed with practical tips and heartfelt advice that make it a must-listen for anyone parenting teens. Amy’s experiences and insights offer a reassuring reminder that you’re not alone in the journey and that with understanding and love, you and your teen will indeed make it.For more of Amy's wisdom and updates, you can follow her on her blog at AmyBettersMidtvedt.com and connect with her on social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @AmyBettersMidtvedt.Tune in to this enlightening episode and subscribe to Talking to Teens for more expert advice on navigating the teenage years!Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Ben Orlin, author of Math for English Majors, joins us to share how parents can understand and teach math effectively. We explore how mathematics can be approachable and enjoyable for both parents and teens.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesMath can often feel like an insurmountable challenge, especially for parents trying to help their teens with homework. Many parents remember their own struggles with math or may feel unqualified to help, particularly if they excelled in non-numerical subjects like English or history. It’s easy to feel lost when faced with the task of supporting a teen in a subject that stumped us years ago.However, the world of math doesn’t have to be daunting. Often, the barrier isn't the complexity of the subject itself, but the way it's been traditionally taught. Being able to assist and guide teens through their math-related challenges can create not only better academic outcomes but also strengthen your relationship with them. Shifting the way we understand and approach teaching math can have a tremendous impact on our teens' confidence and capabilities.This week, we’re diving into how parents can gain the mathematical insight they need to support their teens. We're joined by Ben Orlin, a seasoned math teacher, and author of the popular blog, Math with Bad Drawings. Ben's new book, Math for English Majors, focuses on making math accessible, even for those who have historically found the subject challenging. His unique approach, which includes the use of humorously "bad" drawings to explain mathematical concepts, aims to demystify math and make it more engaging for everyone.Math and Its Misunderstood NatureBen explains how math is often abstract and how its inherent structure can put people off, especially when taught in a rigid, one-size-fits-all classroom. His insights touch on the disconnect many feel when they believe they are "bad at math", and how the educational system's approach often heightens this feeling. He emphasizes the importance of leading with empathy, understanding, and a willingness to explore the subject differently.Bridging the Gap with Analogies and LanguageOne of the key strategies Ben discusses is drawing parallels between math and language. Just as language has structure and rules, so does math. By relating mathematical concepts to linguistic structures that are already familiar to many parents and teens, he opens new avenues for understanding. A key idea shared is the notion of thinking of equations not as rigid commands but as dynamic structures that can be "paraphrased" much like sentences in a story.Games: A Gateway to Mathematical ThinkingBen also delves into the use of games as a tool for making math more approachable. Games inherently involve strategic thinking and problem-solving, which are core components of mathematical thought. He suggests incorporating board games and puzzles into learning routines to help teens develop a natural comfort with mathematical reasoning without the pressure of formal education settings.Embracing the 'Bad Drawings' PhilosophyA significant part of Ben's teaching philosophy is embracing imperfection. His "bad drawings" method aims to lower the stakes and create a more inviting atmosphere for learning math. This approach removes intimidation and encourages teens to view mistakes as part of the learning process rather than failures.In the Episode….My discussion with Ben Orlin offers valuable insights and practical tips for parents looking to better support their teens in math:How to use everyday language to explain complex math concepts.The importance of shifting from a right-or-wrong mindset to understanding the process in math.Ways to incorporate games into learning to foster a fun and enriching math environment.Practical examples from Ben’s book and classroom experiences that demonstrate how math can be engaging and accessible.Additionally, Ben shares his broader thoughts on the essential role parents play in shaping their teens' educational experiences.For listeners interested in further exploring Ben’s methodologies and drawing some inspiration from his lighthearted yet effective approach, you can visit his blog at MathwithBadDrawings.com or follow him on social media platforms like Twitter (@BenOrlin) and Instagram (@MathwithBadDrawings).Tune in to this episode to revolutionize your approach to teaching math and build a more math-friendly household. Don’t forget to subscribe and share if you found this episode helpful!Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Tovah Klein, author of Raising Resilience, explains how parents can help their teens develop the resilience needed to overcome life’s inevitable setbacks, emphasizing the importance of anchoring, containing emotions, and fostering self-acceptance.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesYour teenager is bound to face setbacks. Whether it’s failing a test, missing out on a sports team, or experiencing heartbreak, every teen encounters hurdles. But what differentiates teens who rebound from those who falter? The science of resilience provides some answers.Resilience isn’t just about bouncing back; it’s about how we cope with adversity, manage stress, and maintain emotional stability amidst challenges. Parents play a pivotal role in helping their teens develop resilience, supporting them through everyday setbacks and larger life crises. Understanding this, we delve into how parents can shape resilient teens who can navigate life's ups and downs.We’re joined by Dr. Tovah Klein, a psychology professor at Barnard College and author of the new book Raising Resilience: How to Help Our Children Thrive in Times of Uncertainty. With extensive background in developmental psychology and firsthand experience from working in New York’s homeless shelters, Tovah offers practical insights for parents striving to build resilience in their children. Her work spans from understanding everyday stressors to handling major life events, providing a comprehensive framework for fostering resilience in teenagers.Anchors and Containers: Providing Security and StabilityTovah emphasizes the dual role of parents as both anchors and containers for their teens. Acting as an anchor means providing a consistent, reliable presence that lets teens know they have a safe space to return to. This is crucial as they navigate the world, testing their independence and coping with new challenges.As containers, parents help manage their teens’ emotional intensity. Adolescence is marked by heightened emotions and volatility, requiring parents to absorb and help regulate these feelings. Tovah explains that parents don’t need to solve every problem but should aim to provide stability and a calming presence.The Importance of RoutinesRoutines offer predictability, countering the inherent unpredictability of life. Consistent family routines, like regular dinners or bedtime rituals, provide teens with a secure structure. These routines also help parents notice when things are off—behavioral deviations can signal that something is wrong.When routines are disrupted, it’s an opportunity for parents to check in, offering support and understanding. Tovah discusses how creating these structured environments allows teens to feel more in control and less overwhelmed by external stressors.Effective Communication: Listening Over FixingOne of the key themes in Tovah’s approach is the importance of empathic listening. Teens often express their struggles through behavior rather than words, indicating that something might be wrong through irritability or withdrawal. Instead of trying to fix issues immediately, Tovah advises parents to validate their teen’s feelings and offer a listening ear.This doesn’t mean avoiding boundaries. Tovah suggests maintaining clear limits but being flexible and understanding about why a teen might be pushing against them. An example from the book involves a scenario where her son snapped at her about laundry, which symbolized larger underlying anxieties. Offering empathy and allowing space for teens to process their feelings can lead to more meaningful resolutions.Building Self-Acceptance Over Self-EsteemTovah differentiates between self-acceptance and self-esteem, noting that unbridled parental enthusiasm for achievements can make teens feel their worth is conditional on success. Instead, parents should encourage self-acceptance—helping teens appreciate who they are, including their imperfections and setbacks.True resilience involves facing failures and learning from them. Tovah emphasizes the need for teens to sit with their negative emotions, understand where they feel them physically, and process these feelings. This approach helps teens develop inner strength and emotional regulation skills, crucial components of resilience.In the Episode…My conversation with Tovah was filled with actionable insights for parents looking to foster resilience in their teenagers. We also cover:The concept of the “adolescent dilemma” and why it’s significant.Practical methods for helping teens process and manage failures.The distinction between controlling and supporting teens.Building a strong parent-teen relationship through everyday interactions.If you’re interested in raising resilient teens capable of facing life’s adversities, this episode is a must-listen. For more from Tovah Klein, you can visit her website at tovahklein.com or follow her on social media. Don’t forget to subscribe and share our podcast. We’ll see you next week! Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Jo-Ann Finklestein, author of Sexism and Sensibility, joins us to discuss the pervasive nature of unconscious gender biases, how they shape our daughters' lives, and what parents can do to raise empowered, resilient girls.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesIn our ever-evolving society, we like to believe that we’ve made significant strides in overcoming sexism. Despite our good intentions and progressive outlook, many of us unknowingly carry unconscious biases that we inadvertently pass onto our children. These gender biases can deeply affect our daughters, shaping their self-esteem, their future aspirations, and their interactions in ways we might not fully comprehend.It’s crucial for parents to recognize and confront these seemingly invisible biases, not only for the sake of their daughters’ futures but for the overall health of our society. So how can we ensure that our biases don’t shape our daughters’ perceptions of their own capabilities? What steps can we take to foster a generation of empowered, resilient girls who can shatter the age-old stereotypes holding them back?To help us navigate these questions, we’re joined by Dr. Jo-Ann Finklestein, a clinical psychologist whose work has been highlighted in major outlets such as the New York Times and Harvard Business Review. Jo-Ann’s new book, Sexism and Sensibility: Raising Empowered, Resilient Girls in the Modern World, is an essential guide for parents striving to combat gender bias in their homes. Armed with her insights, we hope to provide practical strategies for breaking the cycle of unconscious sexism.Understanding Hidden BiasesDr. Jo-Ann Finklestein shares her personal experiences of growing up with three brothers where she first encountered gender bias. A simple gift like a pink hockey stick became a symbol of ingrained stereotypes. These early experiences shaped her understanding of gender norms, which she later explored academically at Harvard. Jo-Ann’s journey helped her understand how pervasive these biases are and how they subtly, yet adversely, affect girls from an early age. Jo-Ann explains how societal expectations shape our perceptions of boys and girls differently. Citing fascinating research, she reveals that parents often underestimate their daughters’ abilities from infancy. These biases, even when unintentional, lead to a lifelong impact on girls' self-esteem and confidence.Redefining Feminine TraitsJo-Ann discusses why traditional "feminine" traits are undervalued and how parents can help their children appreciate these qualities. She underscores the importance of valuing emotional intelligence, empathy, and cooperation just as much as traditionally "masculine" traits like assertiveness and competitiveness. By changing our perspective on these traits, we can help our daughters develop a more rounded and fulfilling sense of self.Shifting Relationship NarrativesOne pivotal aspect of Jo-Ann’s book is how cultural narratives around romance and relationships often place girls in passive roles. She argues that this dynamic not only stunts emotional growth but also impacts future adult relationships. Jo-Ann encourages parents to teach both their daughters and sons the importance of mutual respect and shared responsibility in romantic relationships. Discussing practical case studies, Jo-Ann provides insight into helping girls maintain their agency and assertiveness, even within a dating context. She emphasizes the need for open communication about love being an action, rather than just a feeling.Handling Appearance and ObjectificationJo-Ann tackles the complex issue of appearance and self-objectification. She discusses the importance of helping girls understand that their value is not determined by their looks. By focusing on what their bodies can do rather than how they look, parents can nurture their daughters' body confidence. She offers actionable advice on dealing with comments about appearance and encourages parents to emphasize their daughters' abilities and intelligence.Navigating Anger and Emotional ExpressionOne of the recurring themes in Jo-Ann’s book is anger and its suppression in girls. She explains how societal norms discourage girls from expressing anger, leading to internalized pain and health problems. Jo-Ann shares stories from her practice to illustrate how repressed anger manifests physically and emotionally. She provides tips on teaching girls to express their anger healthily, encouraging them to stand up for themselves without feeling shame.In the Episode…Jo-Ann and I delve into a rich array of topics that will help parents better understand and support their daughters. Some of the key themes we discuss include:How to empower girls while combating unconscious gender biasesThe impact of everyday sexism from early childhood through the teenage yearsPractical steps for fostering assertiveness and self-confidence in girlsStrategies for teaching boys to respect boundaries and view girls as equalsThe hidden dangers of self-objectification and how to counteract themWe also touch on topics like preparing girls for unfair societal scrutiny, teaching financial literacy equally to boys and girls, and the complexities surrounding modern-day relationship dynamics.This episode is packed with insights and practical strategies from Jo-Ann’s vast experience and research, making it essential listening for any parent looking to raise empowered, resilient daughters. Don’t forget to subscribe, and we’ll see you next week.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Eli Harwood, author of Raising Securely Attached Kids, dives into connection-focused parenting, exploring how parents can maintain strong bonds with teens, even as they become more independent.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesParenting teens can be incredibly rewarding, but it’s also a time fraught with challenges and rapid changes. Just when you think you’ve got a strong connection, everything can start spiraling out of control seemingly overnight. Emotional outbursts can replace casual conversations, and mutual understanding can feel like a distant memory. So, how can parents keep their relationship with their teens strong and resilient during these tumultuous years?One key to maintaining this bond lies in understanding the science of attachment, a concept that is critical not just during infancy but throughout childhood and adolescence. Teens are transitioning, sharing more attachment needs with peers, and carving out their own identities. How can parents navigate this landscape without losing their pivotal role in their children's lives?To unravel these questions, we turn to expert Eli Harwood, a therapist, writer, and the force behind the online community Attachment Nerd. Eli is the author of Raising Securely Attached Kids, a must-read for parents eager to foster secure bonds with their children. Eli brings her own experience of overcoming an insecure attachment and turning it into a lifelong mission to help other families.The Science of Teen AttachmentEli enlightens us about attachment, the instinctive drive we all have to form close relationships. While young children rely mostly on their parents for attachment needs, teenagers start to transfer these needs to friends and romantic partners. This shift can be emotionally taxing for parents as they feel their central role diminishing. However, Eli reassures us that while teens seek independence, the parental bond remains crucial, especially in moments of high distress.Mastering Emotional RegulationThe teenage years are a roller coaster of emotions, and as Eli explains, parents must be the grounded, stable force. She emphasizes the necessity of responding to teenagers' changing emotional landscapes with maturity and empathy. Eli offers strategies for parents to practice emotional management, which involves recognizing and naming emotions accurately—a skill termed as alexithymia when absent. By modeling and encouraging a rich emotional vocabulary, parents can significantly improve their teens' ability to navigate their own feelings and form healthy relationships.Consulting, Not ControllingEli introduces the concept of parents becoming "consultants" rather than controllers. Teens are more likely to seek advice and support from parents who respond maturely to their growing independence. It's important for parents to calm their fearful, possessive instincts and reposition themselves as sources of wisdom and encouragement. When teens trust that their parents are secure in their roles and non-threatening, they are more likely to maintain open lines of communication.Addressing Problematic BehaviorsWhen it comes to problematic behaviors such as lying or substance use, Eli advises a balanced approach of boundaries without punishment. Drawing a clear line between setting boundaries for safety and punitive measures, she champions an approach based on empathy, understanding, and mature dialogue. Eli’s emphasis here is on understanding the underlying emotional turmoil causing such behaviors and addressing that rather than solely focusing on behavioral correction.Fostering Gratitude and EmpathyAnother important aspect Eli discusses is the practice of empathy math—giving empathy to elicit empathy. She tackles the common parental concern of their teens being ungrateful or selfish, explaining that these traits are a normal part of the developmental stage. Instead of expecting gratitude, parents should model it. Showing appreciation for the little moments can inspire teens to mirror this behavior.In the Episode…Eli's insights bring a refreshing perspective on readjusting our parenting strategies for the teen years. Her advice is practical, compassionate, and grounded in psychological research. Tune in for a deeper dive into:Recognizing and responding to catastrophic thinkingThe importance of body language and mirroring emotionsAdvocating for connection before correctionHandling life transitions and significant changes in teensFor more tips from Eli Harwood, visit her website attachmentnerd.com, or follow her on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok. Thank you for listening! Don’t forget to share and subscribe for more insights on parenting teens.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Michelle Jurkiewicz and Diane Ehrensaft, co-authors of Gender Explained, join us to dismantle common misconceptions about transgender and non-binary youth, address the impact of misinformation, and highlight the importance of thoughtful, gender-affirming care.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesIn today's digital age, the flood of information—both accurate and misleading—about gender can be overwhelming for parents. Understanding the real science and nuanced truths behind gender diversity is essential, not just for parents of transgender or non-binary teens, but for any families navigating the complex landscape of modern gender identity. Misinformation can exacerbate anxieties, perpetuate harmful stereotypes, and hinder the emotional and psychological development of our teenagers.Regardless of whether your child is cisgender or part of the LGBTQ+ community, becoming well-informed about gender identity issues is crucial. Misconceptions can lead to unintended harm, fostering environments where biases and myths thrive. Ensuring we respond with understanding and backed by research can make a world of difference in how our children perceive themselves and their place in society.To shed light on these issues, we're joined by Dr. Michelle Jurkiewicz and Dr. Diane Ehrensaft—co-authors of the new book, Gender Explained. Diane is the co-founder and director of mental health at the Child and Adolescent Gender Center at UCSF, an esteemed expert with numerous publications on gender. Michelle is a clinical psychologist and gender specialist in Berkeley, California. Together, they bring a wealth of knowledge about gender identity and equity, highlighting how gender-affirming care can profoundly impact mental health positively.Addressing MisconceptionsOne of the most harmful pieces of misinformation is the belief that gender-affirming care lacks a scientific basis and is merely politically driven. Michelle and Diane emphasize that gender-affirming care is indeed evidence-based and involves a diligent, thoughtful process, contrary to the notion of rubber-stamping treatment requests. They also point out that contrary to some accusations, gender diversity is innate and cannot be instilled by external influences or by medical professionals.Another issue they tackle is the myth that a transgender identity in children is just a phase or that it is contagious. Michelle highlights the essential point that gender, much like other aspects of identity, manifests uniquely in each individual, and invalidating these identities can have damaging effects on young people.The Importance of Proper CareDiane passionately debunks the "rubber stamping" myth—instead explaining that gender-affirming care is a collaborative effort involving mental health professionals, endocrinologists, parents, and the children themselves. This multifaceted approach ensures decisions are made carefully, supporting the child's well-being at every step. She also introduces the concept of "social gender dysphoria," which acknowledges that external societal pressures often exacerbate the discomfort felt by gender-diverse youth.Particularly insightful is how they address the emotional journey parents may face, including moments of grief or confusion. Understanding that gender identity is about honoring children's dreams and realities—rather than the expectations we may have—is pivotal in fostering a healthy family dynamic.Handling Emotional ResponsesOur discussions also delve into how to manage personal discomfort as a parent when confronted with non-conforming gender expressions. Diane offers personal anecdotes illustrating how initial discomfort can transform into acceptance and understanding over time, emphasizing the role of love in this process. Michelle adds practical advice on slowing down and reflecting on our gut reactions, encouraging compassion and self-awareness as tools for overcoming bias.Furthermore, Michelle explains the necessity of sports participation for transgender youth in fostering mental health, community, and personal development. Excluding children from sports teams, she warns, can have detrimental impacts on their well-being.The Broader PictureThe book also tackles broader societal issues, such as rapid-onset gender dysphoria (a concept Michelle thoroughly discredits), the impact of restrictive legislation on transgender youth, and the importance of creating inclusive environments. By redefining misunderstood concepts and emphasizing evidence-based research, Diane and Michelle aim to replace fear and misinformation with understanding and support.By the episode’s end, it becomes clear that thoughtful, gender-affirming care benefits children profoundly, reaffirming their identities and promoting healthier, happier lives. Michelle and Diane continuously advocate for gender literacy, reminding parents of the continual evolution of gender understanding, underlined by humanity and empathy.In the Episode…Want to dive deeper into these critical issues? Here’s what else you’ll find in our enlightening conversation:The psychological impact of sports inclusion for transgender youthHow to navigate rapid-onset gender dysphoria accusationsThe role of patience and understanding in affirming your child’s identityAddressing the balance between parental authority and adolescent independencePractical advice on handling name changes and social transitionsDon’t miss this episode for expert insights and compassionate advice. Listen in to be part of a conversation that promotes equality and understanding for all youth. Remember to share, subscribe, and join us next week for more insights on parenting teens!Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Lindsey Cormack, author of How to Raise a Citizen, joins us to discuss the importance of teaching teens about civics and political engagement, and provides actionable strategies for parents to help their kids become informed and empowered citizens.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesIn today's hyper-polarized world, talking about politics can seem more like navigating a minefield than having a meaningful conversation. As parents, we often shy away from these discussions to avoid conflict. However, if we want to raise teens who understand their power as citizens and feel confident engaging with political issues, it's imperative that we find ways to bring these topics into our homes.Our guest today, Lindsey Cormack, is here to help us do just that. Lindsey is a professor of political science who has conducted extensive research on how civics is taught across the United States. She's the author of the new book, How to Raise a Citizen and Why It's Up to You to Do It. Lindsey shares her wealth of knowledge on the subject, revealing why so many young people are left in the dark about our political system and what we can do about it.Lindsey's research shows that civics education in schools is often inconsistent and inadequate, with a general trend of decreasing emphasis over time. With many students only receiving a brief overview in their senior year of high school and varying state delivery methods, it’s no wonder teens feel unprepared. Additionally, political conversations in classrooms have become fraught, with teachers fearing backlash from parents over anything perceived as too political.But politics doesn't have to be controversial or divisive. Lindsey suggests that instead of relying on schools, parents can take an active role in encouraging their kids to engage with politics. This can be as simple as having regular conversations about current events, exploring the importance of local government, and recognizing the impact of political decisions on their daily lives. Lindsay recommends starting by discussing things your kids are already noticing in your community and taking these observations to your local representatives.Understanding and Experiencing GovernmentThe episode delves into the disconnect between what is taught in schools and the political engagement colleges look for in applicants. Lindsey emphasizes that parents can bridge this gap by teaching their teens about the levels of government and how each impacts their community directly.To demystify government for our kids, Lindsey suggests getting involved in local community boards or even setting up meetings with local officials. Through real-world experiences, teens can learn about civic engagement and understand the role they play in shaping their community.Action Civics: Learning by DoingLindsey argues for the importance of "action civics"–projects where teens identify issues in their communities, research solutions, and learn the process of effecting change. This hands-on approach to civics can help kids see themselves as participants rather than spectators in the political process. From advocating for school policy changes to organizing clean-up projects, these activities empower students and teach them valuable skills.Cultivating Healthy Political DialogueIn an era where political conversation often means confrontation, Lindsey offers practical advice for parents on how to facilitate respectful and productive political discussions at home. She provides a framework with specific questions to guide these conversations in a non-combative manner, seeking to understand rather than to win an argument. Lindsey also notes the value of petitioning and discusses how even younger teens can organize and influence their schools and neighborhoods with petitions on issues they care about.In the Episode...My conversation with Lindsey was incredibly insightful. Beyond the main topics discussed above, we also dive into:Why teaching to the test has squeezed out civics education.The importance of understanding federalism and different levels of government.Practical steps parents can take to introduce their teens to active citizenship.Why reviewing sample ballots before elections can empower first-time voters.Strategies to help teens have respectful political debates and discussions.If you enjoyed listening, you can find more from Lindsey at howtoraiseacitizen.com, lindseycormack.com, or on Instagram @howtoraiseacitizen. Don’t forget to share and subscribe, and we’ll see you next week!Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Welcome to Episode 300! For this week’s episode, we’re sharing some of our clips from our favorite episodes. This is material previously reserved for members, but we liked it so much we want to share it with everyone. Thank you to all our listeners for sticking with us over the past six-plus years! We are grateful for your support and look forward to the next hundred episodes!!  Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Patricia Roos, author of Surviving Alex, explores the complexities of addiction, advocating for a shift from punitive measures to a public health approach and sharing deeply personal insights from her son's battle with substance use disorder and eventual overdose.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesAddiction is a complex and often misunderstood issue, frequently discussed in simplified terms that do little justice to those who struggle with it and their families. Many hold onto unhelpful myths about addiction, focusing on perceived moral failings or simplistic disease models. But what if these views miss the broader picture? What if we could better understand the root causes and contexts surrounding addiction, ultimately providing more effective support and interventions?In this episode, we delve into the intricate dynamics of substance use and addiction, highlighting not just drug addiction but also related behaviors like anorexia, bulimia, and self-harm. We uncover how these issues are often deeply intertwined with individual psychology and broader societal factors.Our guest today is Patricia Roos, Professor Emerita of Sociology at Rutgers University and author of Surviving Alex: A Mother's Story of Love Loss and Addiction. Patricia’s personal connection to this issue, through her son's battle with substance use disorder and his eventual overdose, lends a poignant and compelling perspective to her scholarly insights.Understanding Addiction Beyond MythsPatricia argues that prevailing models of addiction—the moral model and the disease model—fail to capture the full scope of this issue. She points out that a purely individualistic approach overlooks the critical role of societal and contextual factors. Instead, she proposes a more nuanced understanding that considers how context shapes individual choices. This shift in perspective opens up new avenues for addressing addiction in more empathetic and effective ways.The Hidden Battles With Anxiety and ControlIn recounting her son Alex's journey, Patricia reveals how his struggles began in adolescence with anorexia and later evolved into substance use. She emphasizes that these behaviors were coping mechanisms for underlying anxiety and a relentless drive for perfection—a theme that resonates with many adolescents today. Patricia offers insights into how parents might spot early warning signs of such struggles, encouraging a compassionate and proactive approach.The Role of Treatment and Societal StigmaPatricia sheds light on the stigmas associated with addiction within the medical community and the criminal justice system. She shares her advocacy for a paradigm shift towards treating addiction as a public health issue rather than a criminal offense. This change, she argues, could reduce the damaging impact of stigma and open up more supportive and effective treatment options.Patient Trafficking and the Rehab SystemIn a particularly eye-opening segment, Patricia discusses the concept of patient trafficking within rehab systems, especially in areas like Florida. She describes how some rehab centers exploit patients for financial gain, pushing them into cycles of relapse and readmission without providing genuine support. This exploitation exemplifies the need for systemic change in how we handle addiction treatment, ensuring it is truly geared towards recovery.In the Episode...- How societal stigma and punitive measures exacerbate addiction.- The connection between early anxiety, mental health issues, and later substance use.- The need for a public health approach to replace the current criminal justice focus.- The shady practices of patient trafficking within the rehab system and the importance of ethical treatment options.Join us for a compelling discussion that seeks to unravel the complexities of addiction and offers a call to action for more compassionate and effective responses. Listen now to understand the broader contexts of addiction, equip yourself with knowledge to support your teen, and subscribe to Talking to Teens for more insightful episodes.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Scott H. Young, author of Get Better at Anything, joins us to demystify the true essence of learning, improvement, and mastery, shedding light on how parents can guide their teens to excel both academically and personally.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesParents face the continual challenge of helping their teens become proficient learners. With teens constantly navigating the realms of academics, sports, and personal interests, understanding how they can master new skills is invaluable. So how can we, as parents, support our teens in their quest for mastery—whether it's in school subjects, sports, or their personal hobbies?This week we have the privilege of speaking with Scott H. Young, author of Get Better at Anything. Scott is an expert in the domains of learning and mastery, best known for his pioneering research and practical guides on how individuals can achieve excellence in various life fields. With a background deeply intertwined with education due to his parents being teachers, Scott’s insights are grounded in both personal and professional realms.In this episode, we uncover effective strategies to help teens become better learners and improve their skills more efficiently. Scott shares fascinating insights about retrieval practice—a method that solidifies memory retention better than repeated exposure. While traditional beliefs suggest problem-solving without guidance builds deep understanding, Scott reveals how observing and emulating can often yield better results.Mastery Through ExamplesFor Scott, learning isn’t just about trial and error; it’s about studying examples and getting comprehensive practice. The perfect balance involves ‘See, Do, and Feedback’—a cycle that ensures effective learning. Scott also touches on cognitive load theory, explaining how our limited working memory plays a role in learning and offers practical advice for leveraging this understanding to aid teens in their academic endeavors.Failing ForwardFacing challenges is essential for growth, but Scott emphasizes the need to strike a balance between challenges and successes. Early failure without appropriate support can demotivate teens. Instead, Scott advocates for building confidence through small wins before presenting more complex challenges. This method not only helps teens stay motivated but also prepares them to handle tougher problems with resilience.Creating Practice LoopsA significant part of Scott’s methodology is designing practice loops. Ensuring that teens get enough variability in their practice sessions is crucial for long-term retention and generalization of skills. Rather than sticking to blocked practice where the focus is on one type of problem, Scott encourages mixed approaches to help teens become flexible and adept problem solvers in various contexts.Fear and LearningFear is another major obstacle in the learning process. Whether it's test anxiety or fear of public speaking, these emotions take up cognitive resources that could be better used for problem-solving. Scott discusses exposure therapy as a way to help teens gradually face their fears, thereby reducing their anxiety over time. He underscores that persistent effort in overcoming fears is key to long-term mastery and success.In the Episode…Our conversation with Scott yields numerous actionable strategies that can be beneficial for parents looking to boost their teens' learning potential. Beyond the highlights mentioned above, we also delve into:- Why early assessment in classrooms can be demotivating and how mastery learning can help.- The importance of creativity and productivity in achieving mastery.- Strategies for unlearning bad habits and adopting better techniques.- Real-world examples of how small adjustments in teaching techniques can lead to big improvements.For those interested in diving deeper, you can explore more of Scott’s insights at scotthyoung.com where you can also find his books and podcast. Tune into this episode to learn how to foster an environment conducive to mastering new skills and to encourage your teens to reach their full potential. Don't forget to share, subscribe, and review so more parents can benefit from these insights!Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Alex Edmans, author of May Contain Lies, delves into how confirmation bias and belief polarization skew our perceptions, offering tips for parents to help their teenagers navigate misinformation and think critically.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesIn today's digital world, misinformation spreads faster than ever. Even as adults, we often find ourselves believing things that aren't true or are more nuanced than we think. The issue becomes even more critical when considering how we raise teenagers to be discerning and truth-seeking individuals.How do we guide teens to differentiate fact from fiction in a sea of misleading information? How can we teach them to critically evaluate the plethora of claims they encounter daily—whether in social media, news, or even school? The ability to critically question and analyze data is a vital skill, and it’s more crucial now than ever.To delve into the complexities of misinformation and how to tackle it, we're speaking with Alex Edmans, a professor of finance at London Business School. Alex's TED Talk, "What to Trust in a Post-Truth World," has resonated with millions, and his book, May Contain Lies, explores how biases impact our understanding and decision-making processes. With a keen focus on both finance and everyday life, Alex offers deep insights and practical advice on how to navigate a world filled with skewed information.Understanding Confirmation BiasConfirmation bias is a significant issue that affects how we process information. Alex highlights that we often accept information that aligns with our pre-existing beliefs uncritically, while scrutinizing information that contradicts our views. This is prevalent not just in finance and economics, Alex's fields of expertise, but also in everyday topics like parenting and healthcare.For instance, Alex describes how widely accepted recommendations like exclusive breastfeeding may not be as beneficial as we think. While these claims are backed by reputable sources like the World Health Organization, they may overlook other contributing factors like socio-economic status and family support systems. By critically examining the research and understanding its context, we can make more informed decisions and avoid unnecessary guilt.Tackling Black and White ThinkingAnother prevalent bias Alex addresses is black and white thinking, where we categorize things as entirely good or bad with no gray areas. This kind of thinking is aided by simple, extreme messages that go viral on social media but often lack nuance. Alex illustrates this with the example of the Atkins diet, which gained popularity for its extreme stance on carbohydrates, even though it oversimplifies the role of carbs in a balanced diet.For parents, understanding and combating these biases can help in guiding teenagers to see beyond black and white categorizations. Encouraging them to reason through their beliefs and understand the nuances can foster more critical and balanced thinking.Solutions: The Ladder of MisargumentTo help teenagers and parents alike navigate misinformation, Alex introduces the "Ladder of Misargument," a framework that breaks down common types of misinformation into four categories:A statement is not a fact: Understand the context and accuracy of the information.Facts are not data: Ensure the facts are representative and not isolated.Data is not evidence: Look for causation, not just correlation.Evidence is not proof: Recognize that evidence may not be universal or applicable in all contexts.Creating a Culture of Inquiry and DialogueEncouraging skeptical thinking in teenagers isn't just about teaching them to question authority but creating a culture where it's safe to ask questions and express doubts. Alex discusses how a high-power hierarchy can stifle honest communication and the flow of ideas. By reducing hierarchical barriers and fostering open dialogue, whether in families or workplaces, we can create environments where critical thinking thrives.Parents can also model this behavior by openly discussing their thought processes and demonstrating how to critically analyze information. Encouraging teenagers to explain their viewpoints in detail can help them see the limitations of their own understanding and foster a habit of thorough investigation.In the Episode…Alex shares a wealth of insights on how to cultivate critical thinking and avoid common pitfalls of misinformation. Tune in to learn about:How sports results can mysteriously affect the stock marketThe importance of asking detailed questions and listeningWays to foster healthy debate within familiesHow to identify and mitigate common biases in everyday decisionsIf you enjoyed this week’s episode, you can find more from Alex on his website, alexedmans.com, or follow him on LinkedIn under the username A Edmans. Don’t forget to share and subscribe, and we’ll see you next week!Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Cara Fitzpatrick, author of The Death of Public School, joins us to discuss the history and implications of school choice in America. We delve into how school vouchers, charter schools, and education savings accounts redefine public education.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesThe structure and definition of public education in America are changing rapidly. With more states adopting programs that allow parents to divert public funds to private and charter schools, the idea of what constitutes a public education is being fundamentally reexamined. These changes have far-reaching implications for our communities, teachers, and children.To explore this critical topic, we’re joined by Cara Fitzpatrick, editor at Chalkbeat and Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist. Cara’s deep dive into the origins and effects of school choice is encapsulated in her book, The Death of Public School. Her work offers a comprehensive look at how we've arrived at the current state of education and what it means for the future.Origins of School ChoiceCara traces the beginnings of school choice back to Florida, a significant testing ground for charter schools and voucher systems. The concept hinges on the principle that public money should follow the student, whether they attend a public, private, or charter school. This notion became particularly contentious with the introduction of education savings accounts, offering unprecedented flexibility in how public funds can be utilized for a student’s education.Navigating the Varieties of School ChoiceSchool choice programs can take various forms, such as school vouchers and charter schools. While charter schools operate with public funding but independent management, vouchers allow parents to use public money for private school tuition, including religious institutions. Cara breaks down these different models, highlighting the nuances and controversies associated with each.Historical Context and Its ImplicationsUnderstanding the history of public education helps contextualize today’s debates. From the vision of early American leaders like Thomas Jefferson to the contentious battles over school integration in the 1950s, Cara illustrates how the definition of public education has evolved. She emphasizes that this isn't just a new debate but a complex issue with roots in America's early history.Where Are We Now?School choice has grown significantly, with programs now available in over half of the states. However, this growth hasn’t come without challenges. Cara explains how the initial waves of school choice, such as those in the 1950s used to resist desegregation, differ significantly from today’s initiatives. She also addresses the legal battles that have shaped the current landscape, including key Supreme Court decisions that have supported the use of public funds for religious education under specific conditions.Future of Public EducationThe future of public education is uncertain but seemingly headed towards more choice and less traditional public schooling. As Cara discusses, the recent push towards universal programs – accessible to all students regardless of income or need – indicates a shift supported by current political and judicial climates. In the Episode…In our conversation with Cara, we explore various other topics, including:- The economic arguments for and against school choice- The potential for discrimination within choice programs- The role of competition in improving public schools- Historical and contemporary court rulings impacting school choice- Predicting the future landscape of American public educationCara’s deep research and thoughtful insights offer a balanced view on a complex issue. For a more detailed understanding, grab a copy of her book, The Death of Public School, and consider attending local school board meetings to stay engaged with how these changes might affect your community.For more thought-provoking conversations and expert insights, make sure to listen to this week’s episode and subscribe to Talking to Teens.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Kate Parker, author of Force of Nature, joins us to discuss how to cultivate teen activism and empower them to raise their voices about vital issues. We explore the impact of authenticity in photography, the importance of encouraging teens to speak out, and practical tips for capturing meaningful moments with your camera.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesIn today’s digital age, teenagers are constantly bombarded with idealized images and messages on social media. Often, these images are meticulously curated and edited, setting unrealistic standards for beauty and success. For parents, this raises a crucial question: how can we help our teens rise above these false ideals and find their authentic voices?This week, we’re speaking with Kate Parker, a renowned photographer and author of several influential photo collections, including Strong is the New Pretty and her latest, Force of Nature. Kate’s work focuses on capturing the real, raw moments that highlight the true strength and beauty of young girls. By putting forward authentic and unpolished images, Kate encourages both teens and adults to embrace their genuine selves and to celebrate their unique voices.In our discussion, Kate shares the insightful journey behind her first book, inspired by her desire to present her daughters in a true and unfiltered light. The project started with personal portraits but grew into a celebrated movement as her authentic representations resonated globally. Kate’s book, Strong is the New Pretty, has been translated into multiple languages, proving that the message of unyielding authenticity transcends cultural boundaries.Fostering Teen ActivismOne key theme in Kate’s latest book, Force of Nature, is empowering teens to raise their voices and advocate for change in their communities. Divided into sections—Find Your Voice, Use Your Voice, Sustain Your Voice, and Amplify Your Voice—the book showcases young girls who have taken impactful actions, from writing op-eds to suing the government, to advocate for causes they believe in.Kate underscores the importance of parents actively encouraging their children to speak out. When kids come to us with complaints or concerns, we should nudge them toward advocacy by asking how they might change things and offering our support. Parents can play a crucial role in providing the initial push that helps teens realize their potential for making a difference.Capturing Real MomentsKate’s photography captures the essence of real experiences, whether it’s a girl fully immersed in her sport or kids engaging in community advocacy. To achieve this, she uses techniques that facilitate authentic expressions, like giving kids fun tasks or making them laugh naturally during a shoot. This approach not only makes for compelling images but also reinforces the idea that genuine, unfiltered moments are the most beautiful.Speaking on giving advice for at-home photography, Kate recommends avoiding posed and forced smiles. Instead, she suggests crafting moments that elicit genuine joy and interactions. She also shares technical tips, such as shooting during the golden hour or using natural light from windows, to elevate the quality of photos.Encouraging Passion and InclusivityThroughout the episode, Kate offers insights into how diverse backgrounds and experiences contribute to the rich tapestry of voices showcased in her books. Stories of girls who faced challenges—whether due to disabilities, societal norms, or personal adversities—highlight the resilience and ingenuity required to advocate for change. For parents, this serves as a potent reminder to foster an inclusive environment where every child feels valued and capable of making a difference.In the Episode…Our conversation with Kate Parker dives deep into multiple aspects of raising confident, outspoken teens. Here’s a glimpse of what we cover:- How to encourage teens to find and use their voices- The impact of authentic photography on self-esteem- Practical tips for capturing meaningful photos at home- Stories of girls making significant changes in their communities- The importance of passion and confidence in teensIf you’re looking to inspire your teen to become a proactive changemaker or want to improve your family photography skills, this episode is a goldmine of insights. For more from Kate Parker and to follow her ongoing work, visit her Instagram at @katetparker. Don’t forget to subscribe to our podcast for more enlightening interviews and parenting tips. Thanks for tuning in!Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Diane Ehrensaft, author of "The Gender Creative Child," joins us to discuss the complexities of gender identity and expression in today's teens, offering parents insights on how to support their children through gender exploration and creativity.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesWhen it comes to raising teenagers, one of the most complex and delicate topics parents may face is the evolving concept of gender. In today’s world, many young people are exploring gender creativity, challenging traditional norms, and seeking to express their true selves in ways that might be daunting for their parents to understand. Navigating this landscape requires empathy, open-mindedness, and reliable information to help ensure that teens feel supported and validated in their journey.For parents, the idea of kids thinking beyond the male-female binary or even the spectrum can seem overwhelming. Gender today is more like a web, interwoven with threads of nature, nurture, and culture. Each child's gender identity and expression are unique and evolving, often influenced by their experiences and interactions. How can parents help their teens weave these complexities into a coherent and authentic sense of self?To shed light on this, we’re joined by Dr. Diane Ehrensaft, a developmental and clinical psychologist, the co-founder and director of the Child and Adolescent Gender Center, and an associate professor of pediatrics. Diane’s work has been featured across numerous reputable platforms, including the New York Times and NPR. She’s also the author of "The Gender Creative Child." Diane is here to offer her expert insights on how teens and their families can navigate gender creativity.Understanding the Gender WebDiane introduces the concept of the "gender web," a more dynamic and multi-dimensional way to think about gender, beyond linear spectrums and binary boxes. Using three major threads—nature (biological aspects), nurture (environmental influences), and culture (societal norms)—Diane suggests that every person's gender web is uniquely woven, constantly evolving over time. This web model helps us appreciate the complexities of gender and underscores the importance of allowing space for this evolution in our children.Breaking Away from BoxesInstead of confining identities to rigid categories like "boy" or "girl," a more flexible approach can be incredibly liberating for kids. Diane shares fascinating anecdotes of children who have described themselves using terms like "gender hybrid" and "gender smoothie." These self-descriptions reflect an understanding of gender that goes beyond traditional norms. Diane emphasizes the importance of respecting both the fluid and stable aspects of a child's gender identity.Apples, Oranges, and Fruit SaladsDiane explains different gender identities through her "apples, oranges, and fruit salads" metaphor. Children who have a clear, stable gender identity from an early age are the "apples." "Oranges" are those who explore their gender creatively but without a persistent disconnect from their assigned gender. "Fruit salads" mix both gender identity and expression in unique ways. Understanding these distinctions can help parents better support their teens, regardless of where they fall on this spectrum.The Role of Parents: De-centering and SupportParenting a gender-creative child also involves self-reflection and emotional intelligence. Diane discusses the importance of "de-centering," where parents set aside their own ambitions and expectations to better listen to and support their child’s expressed needs and identities. Recognizing and addressing our own unconscious biases and microaggressions is also critical to fostering a supportive environment.Medical InterventionsFor parents considering medical support for their gender-creative teens, Diane provides clarity on the types and timing of medical interventions, including puberty blockers and hormone replacement therapy. These interventions are carefully considered and catered to each individual, with a rigorous assessment process to ensure they are in the best interest of the child's welfare.In the Episode...Dr. Diane Ehrensaft’s expertise offers a valuable guide for parents seeking to support their gender-creative children. In our conversation, we also discuss: - The importance of understanding and using the right terminology - How teens can explore their identities safely and responsibly - The cultural shifts influencing how we see gender today - The role of online communities and how they impact gender explorationIf you found this conversation enlightening, don’t miss out on Diane’s forthcoming book "Gender Explained," co-authored with Michelle Jerkowitz. Stay connected with Diane via her website, dianeehrensaft.com, for more insights. Thanks for listening! Don’t forget to share, subscribe, and join us next week.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Roy Richard Grinker, author of Nobody's Normal, How Culture Created the Stigma of Mental Illness, joins us to discuss the cultural history of mental illness stigma and how parents can create supportive environments for their teens to talk about their mental health.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesTalking about mental health can often feel like walking on eggshells. Despite growing awareness, there remains a significant challenge in how comfortably and openly people address issues surrounding mental illness. For parents of teens, understanding and navigating this intricate subject is crucial to ensuring their children feel supported and understood during such formative years.If we want to foster environments where teenagers feel safe discussing their mental health struggles, we must first understand the roots of the stigma surrounding mental illness. Historically, mental health problems have been shrouded in shame and secrecy, which has deeply embedded these stigmas into our culture. But where did this stigma originate, and how can we begin to dismantle it in our families?To delve into this topic, we are joined by Roy Richard Grinker, a professor of anthropology and international affairs at George Washington University and the author of several insightful books, including Unstrange Minds and his latest, Nobody's Normal, How Culture Created the Stigma of Mental Illness. Richard brings a unique perspective on how societal and cultural factors have shaped our views on mental health.In this episode, we explore the history of mental illness stigma, examining why mental health issues have been viewed so negatively. Richard explains how the intersection of culture, historical events, and societal norms has contributed to this pervasive problem. We learn about surprising instances from history, like the unexpected origins of common breakfast foods created to prevent masturbation, and how these reflect broader societal attitudes towards mental health.Changing Perspectives On Mental IllnessOne of the eye-opening stories Richard shares is about a student who described the best day of her freshman year as the day she was diagnosed with ADHD. This diagnosis provided her validation and understanding of her struggles, leading us to discuss how diagnosis can both liberate individuals and unintentionally place the burden solely on them, overlooking societal and environmental factors.Richard draws attention to the limitations of viewing mental health issues through a purely biological lens without considering the broader social context. He sheds light on the "social model of disability," emphasizing that many challenges attributed to personal failings are often exacerbated, if not created, by societal structures and cultural expectations.The Dual Illness of Mental Health StigmaA crucial point raised in our conversation is the "double illness" experienced by those with mental health issues. Not only do they suffer from the symptoms of their condition, but they also bear the additional weight of societal judgment and stigma. Richard highlights sobering examples, such as politicians avoiding therapy to not appear weak, which perpetuates the stigma and discourages honesty about mental health struggles.We also touch on historical perspectives, including how mental health was perceived during slavery and the impact of differing care models between the North and the South. These insights help illustrate how cultural and systemic factors have long influenced the treatment and perception of mental illness.The Evolution of Mental Health TerminologyOur discussion then moves into how the terminology around mental health has evolved, sometimes reflecting shifts in cultural attitudes. From outdated terms like hysteria to more contemporary ones like conversion disorder, we see how language both shapes and is shaped by societal understanding.Richard and I delve into the implications of more recent changes, such as the removal of Asperger's syndrome from the American Psychiatric Association's diagnostic manual. He argues that these changes are often driven more by cultural needs than by new scientific discoveries.Creating an Open Dialogue in Your HomeTo conclude, we focus on practical steps parents can take to create a supportive environment where their teens feel comfortable discussing mental health issues. Richard emphasizes the importance of normalizing these conversations and being proactive in asking teens about their emotional well-being, just as one would inquire about physical health.In the Episode…Richard's insights are invaluable for anyone looking to understand and dismantle the stigma around mental illness. In addition to the topics discussed above, we also cover:- How wars have historically progressed mental health care- The impact of societal norms on the perception of gender and mental health- Modern approaches to diagnosing and treating mental health issues- How historical and cultural contexts can influence mental health labels and treatmentsRichard’s book, Nobody's Normal, offers a profound look into how culture shapes our understanding of mental health, and our conversation provides practical advice for parents striving to support their teens. Listen to the full episode for more!Don’t forget to share and subscribe to Talking to Teens, and we’ll see you next week!Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Todd Baratz, author of How To Love Somebody Without Losing Your Mind, explains how parents can navigate conflict in their relationships with their teens and partners, fostering true intimacy and realistic expectations.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesNavigating relationships with teenagers can be incredibly challenging. There's often conflict, emotional rollercoasters, and moments when parents feel like they might lose their minds. But what if these hardships are an essential part of genuine intimacy? What if the idea that relationships should be free of conflict is setting us up for disappointment? Understanding these dynamics can transform the way we interact with our teens and partners, helping us build stronger, more connected relationships.In today's episode, we delve into these questions and more with Todd Baratz, a renowned sex therapist and author of How To Love Somebody Without Losing Your Mind. Todd's expertise is grounded in both professional practice and personal experience, making his insights relatable and actionable for parents looking to improve their relationships.Unrealistic Expectations and Their OriginsTodd points out that many of us grow up with unrealistic expectations about relationships, often rooted in fairytales and media. These perfectionistic ideals lead us to believe that true love should be effortless and devoid of conflict. When reality inevitably doesn't match up, we feel deeply disappointed. Todd explains how understanding and adjusting these expectations can make a significant difference in our relationships, whether with our partners or our teenagers.The Importance of Open ConversationsThrough conversations with his own parents, Todd learned that many of the relationship patterns he struggled with were inherited, rooted in intergenerational trauma. He emphasizes the importance of openly discussing family histories and personal stories with our teens, helping them understand that love and relationships are shaped by cultural and familial contexts. By fostering open and honest communication, parents can equip their teens with a more realistic view of relationships.Addressing Unrealistic Relationship Expectations in TeensMany parents wait until they notice their teens becoming sexually active or entering relationships to start important conversations about love and sex. Todd argues that it’s crucial to begin these discussions early, providing comprehensive education about relationships before issues arise. He suggests creating a relational environment where curiosity and open dialogue are encouraged. This proactive approach helps teens develop a healthy, realistic understanding of intimacy and relationships.Healthy Communication and Emotional ManagementHealthy communication is about more than using "I statements" and validating emotions. Todd and I discuss how real, healthy communication often involves discomfort and conflict, which are essential for growth. We talk about the concept of being "flooded" or overwhelmed with emotions and how parents and teens can learn to tolerate these intense feelings. By acknowledging and understanding these emotional experiences, we can navigate them more effectively and deepen our relationships.Differentiation and Developing IndependenceDifferentiation is the process of becoming more distinct as individuals while maintaining a close connection. Todd explains how encouraging teens to develop their own identities and fostering their independence is crucial. This process helps teens grow into confident individuals who can manage their relationships healthily. He also discusses how parents can model differentiation by maintaining their own interests and identities outside of their roles within the family.Addressing the Realities of IntimacyTrue intimacy requires a willingness to be uncomfortable and to hear what we might not want to hear. Todd emphasizes that healthy relationships involve work and are rarely perfect. By embracing this reality, parents can set a more realistic example for their teens, teaching them that good relationships are built through effort and resilience, not through seeking perfection.In the Episode...Join us to uncover insights about:- How pain and conflict are essential for intimacy- Realistic vs. unrealistic relationship expectations- The importance of open, honest conversations about family history- Techniques for managing emotional overwhelm - Encouraging teens’ independence while maintaining strong connections- Redefining healthy communication in relationshipsDon’t miss this enlightening episode with Todd Baratz, and remember to share and subscribe!Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Kristina Kuzmic, author of I Can Fix This and Other Lies I Told Myself While Parenting My Struggling Child, shares personal insights on handling teen depression, substance use, and the importance of connection over control in parent-child relationships.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesParenting a struggling teen comes with challenges that can often feel insurmountable. Whether you're facing issues like lying, substance use, tantrums, or even violence and aggression, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and at a loss for solutions. Understanding how to foster an environment where your child feels seen and supported—despite the chaos—can make a significant difference in both your lives.When Kristin Kuzmic's son began showing signs of severe depression and substance use during his teen years, she embarked on a journey to understand, support, and ultimately help him heal. Her story, detailed in her latest book, I Can Fix This and Other Lies I Told Myself While Parenting My Struggling Child, offers a wealth of knowledge for parents in similar situations.Joining us on the show today, Kristina explains how her initial reluctance about sharing her journey turned into a powerful testimony of the strength and resilience required to parent a struggling child. With her son’s blessing and contribution, the book became a crucial resource for parents dealing with similar issues.Identifying Signs of StruggleKristina noticed her son's change in behavior around age 12—what began as typical teenage mood swings escalated into serious signs of depression. From isolating behaviors to violent outbursts, Kristina's home became a battleground. Persistent therapy sessions seemed futile until the deeper issues at play were properly identified as clinical depression. Recognizing that these behaviors are symptoms of deeper issues, not simple teenage rebellion, was a vital step in addressing his struggles.Connection Over ControlA theme that permeates Kristina’s approach is the necessity of connection over control. She emphasizes that the first instinct of many parents—controlling behavior—is often counterproductive. Instead, she advocates for a connection-driven approach, focusing on truly understanding your child’s individual struggles and needs. Practical steps like using grounding techniques and calming your own responses to their actions can open up channels for genuine communication and support.The Power of Showing UpThroughout Luca’s most troubling times, Kristina maintained a constant presence in his life, even when he tried pushing her away. This persistent showing up helped build a foundation of trust that eventually allowed her son to turn to her in his moments of deepest need. This approach is a testament to the importance of being physically and emotionally present, even when it feels like you're not making a difference.Navigating the Maze of Mental Health SupportFrom psychiatric care to residential treatment centers, Kristina and her family navigated the complex mental health system. She shares valuable advice on making these decisions and finding the right support systems while emphasizing the importance of consent and involvement from the struggling teen.The Overlooked "Good" ChildWhile dealing with a struggling child, it’s easy to overlook siblings who appear to be coping well. Kristina warns parents against this oversight, sharing how her daughter suffered silently while maintaining a facade of stability. Ensuring that all children in a family receive the attention and support they need, regardless of apparent signs of distress, is crucial.Self-Care is Not SelfishKristina discusses the often neglected topic of parental self-care. Facing the immense emotional toll of supporting a struggling teen, parents might feel guilty for any self-indulgence or personal time. However, Kristina argues that taking care of oneself is also an essential part of being an effective, compassionate parent. Both her anecdotal experiences and the transformative advice from her friend Zach highlight that parents maintaining their personal well-being inadvertently lift a significant burden off their children.Communicate Clearly, Even with a SpouseAnother key element Kristina found beneficial was maintaining open communication with her spouse through daily emails. This practice allowed them to express emotions and concerns without confrontation, resulting in a stronger partnership and a united front in dealing with their son’s struggles.In the Episode...Throughout our conversation, Kristina offers profound wisdom and practical advice for parents dealing with similar challenges. Other topics we cover include:- How to address violent behavior stemming from depression- Strategies for creating a trust-based rather than control-based relationship- How enforcing too much consistency may actually be counterproductive- How to spot signs of hidden depression in “good” kidsIf you are a parent, guardian, or anyone concerned about a struggling teen, you won't want to miss this episode. Kristina Kuzmic’s book, I Can Fix This and Other Lies I Told Myself While Parenting My Struggling Child, provides a deeply personal yet universally valuable account. For more updates, Kristina can be found on social media under @KristinaKuzmic. Don’t forget to share and subscribe for more insightful episodes like this one!Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Heather Hester, author of Parenting with Pride, joins us to discuss the essential do's and don'ts for parents when their teenager comes out as LGBTQ, offering practical advice on supportive communication, unlearning biases, and addressing mental health and substance use concerns.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesEvery parent wishes to be a source of unwavering support and love for their children. However, when a teenager comes out as LGBTQ, many parents find themselves unprepared and anxious about how to respond appropriately. Initial reactions can be critical, as negative responses may have lasting repercussions on the teen's mental health and self-esteem.Introducing Heather HesterOur guest today is Heather Hester, founder of Chrysalis Mama and the host of the podcast Just Breathe. Heather is also the author of the newly released book, Parenting with Pride: Unlearn Bias and Embrace, Empower, and Love Your LGBTQ+ Teen.With years of experience providing guidance and education to parents and allies of LGBTQ young adults, Heather is here to help us understand how to navigate this sensitive yet profoundly important process of supporting our LGBTQ teens.Why Initial Reactions MatterComing out is usually the culmination of a long and often painful period of internal conflict for teens. Heather explains that parents must recognize this journey and approach their teen's coming out with an emphatic and supportive response. Contrary to instinctive reactions like "Are you sure?", which can undermine a teen's confidence, parents should focus on affirmations such as "I love you," "Thank you for telling me," and "I've got you."Heather shares that parents often inadvertently project their own fears and biases into the conversation, which can be damaging. Instead, she advises parents to work through their own uncertainties separately and to avoid placing these burdens on their child.Understanding the Process and Stages of Coming OutIt's a common misconception that coming out is a single event. Heather clarifies that it’s a process composed of several stages, ranging from internal acknowledgment to public declaration and ongoing self-acceptance. By the time teens come out to their parents, they have typically already gone through significant internal struggles and are well past the initial phases of questioning and doubt.Recognizing this can help parents offer more meaningful support and understand the continued journey that lies ahead for their teen. This perspective also highlights the importance of ongoing support, as coming out is a recurring event each time a teen enters a new environment, such as changing schools or starting a new job.Different Identities and OrientationsHeather also emphasizes the importance of understanding the diverse range of identities within the LGBTQ spectrum. These include not just lesbian, gay, and bisexual orientations, but also gender identities like transgender and non-binary, as well as terms like intersex and asexual. She encourages parents to ask open-ended questions like, "What does that mean to you?" to foster a supportive and educational conversation.Addressing Mental Health and Substance UseStatistics show that LGBTQ teens are at a higher risk for mental health issues and substance use due to societal pressures, bullying, and a lack of affirmation. Heather explains the importance of proactive dialogue about these issues and remaining vigilant for changes in behavior. It's essential for parents to provide a safe and accepting home environment while also being prepared to seek professional help if needed.Emphasizing Present AcceptanceOne of the most impactful ways parents can support their LGBTQ teen is by expressing unconditional love and acceptance for who they are right now. Often, in an attempt to be encouraging, parents may focus on their child's future potential, inadvertently sending the message that who they are currently is not enough. Heather advises celebrating the teen's current strengths and acknowledging their journey to date.Episode Highlights- The critical impact of initial reactions when a teen comes out- The process and stages of coming out for LGBTQ teens- Distinguishing between sexual orientation and gender identity- Addressing mental health and substance use concerns in LGBTQ teens- How to express unconditional love and acceptance for your teenIn the Episode….Heather's insights are invaluable for any parent navigating the complexities of their teen coming out. On top of the topics covered above, we also discuss: - Strategies for unlearning personal biases - The role of professional support in addressing mental health - How to create an affirming home environment - The importance of critical thinking in processing societal messages You can find more from Heather Hester on her website, chrysalismama.com, or listen to her podcast, Just Breathe. Don’t forget to share and subscribe to the podcast for more insightful conversations on parenting teens.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

John Petrocelli, author of The Life Changing Science of Detecting Bullshit, explains how parents can identify when their teens are bullshitting and how to raise teens who critically evaluate the information they encounter.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesAs teenagers grow and seek more independence, they can sometimes wield sophisticated tactics to avoid responsibility or twist the truth to their advantage. This behavior, often dubbed “bullshitting,” can make the challenging task of parenting even more complex. But how can parents distinguish between harmless exaggerations, outright lies, and simple bullshit?In today’s fast-paced and information-saturated world, parents must not only navigate their teen's emerging independence but also teach them to identify and resist bullshit from other sources. Teens today are bombarded with information from social media, peers, and other influences, making it crucial for them to develop robust critical thinking skills. But how can we ensure that they are equipped to navigate this complex landscape effectively?Enter John Petrocelli, author of The Life Changing Science of Detecting Bullshit. John is not just a researcher but an expert who has delved deeply into the concept of bullshit, differentiating it from lying and studying its impacts on individuals and society. With over a decade of empirical research under his belt, John’s work provides invaluable insights into how parents can better detect bullshit and teach their teens to be critical thinkers.Understanding BullshitJohn introduces us to the nuances that differentiate bullshitting from lying. While both bullshitting and lying involve deception, the bullshitter often doesn't care about the truth—they aim to sound knowledgeable or impressive irrespective of the facts. This indifference towards the truth can have severe implications, influencing our beliefs, memories, and critical decisions.John shares fascinating findings from his research, including how people are more prone to bullshit when they believe their audience lacks expertise or won’t scrutinize their claims. This is where parents can start: by fostering an environment where claims are questioned and critical thinking is actively encouraged.Why Bullshit MattersMany parents might underestimate the significance of their teen’s bullshit, thinking it’s benign or non-malicious. However, John highlights how unchecked bullshit can cloud judgment, lead to poor decision-making, and have lasting negative impacts. It’s essential for parents to stay vigilant and model skepticism, not to erode trust, but to nurture an atmosphere where truth and logical evaluation are paramount.Teaching Critical ThinkingIn the episode, John shares actionable tips for parents to encourage their teens to become critical thinkers: Ask Questions: Encourage teens to think through claims by asking them, “Is that true?” or “Why might that be incorrect?” Model Skepticism: Show by example how to question information and sources without being cynical. Create a Safe Space: Allow your teen to discuss their ideas and beliefs openly, ensuring they understand it’s okay to be wrong as long as they’re committed to finding the truth. John also emphasizes the importance of teaching teens to recognize their own susceptibilities to bullshit, which can come from a desire to fit in, sound knowledgeable, or alleviate awkwardness. By making critical thinking a fun and engaging activity, parents can help teens sharpen their bullshit detection skills without feeling attacked or dismissed.Tackling External Bullshit Teens today are also vulnerable to external bullshit from influencers, social media, and even certain educational resources. John encourages parents to: Discuss Case Studies: Go through dubious claims seen on social media together and break down why they might be misleading or false. Encourage Fact-Checking: Teach teens how to verify facts, check sources, and look for credible evidence before accepting claims as true. Daily PracticeTo make critical thinking an integral part of daily life, John suggests engaging in exercises that involve scrutinizing everyday statements and testing claims. This can start with simple issues—like evaluating advertising claims—and build up to more complex discussions, such as analyzing political statements or media reports.In the Episode…John and I explore a host of additional topics, including: Why experts aren’t always right How to constructively challenge bullshit without causing conflictThe relationship between confidence and bullshit susceptibilityThe role of personality traits in bullshitting tendencies By the end of this episode, you'll have gained valuable insights into fostering a bullshit-free environment and empowering your teenager with the critical thinking skills needed to navigate today’s world effectively. Don’t forget to subscribe to Talking to Teens for more expert parenting insights!Tune in to this enlightening discussion and share it with fellow parents to help them navigate the tricky waters of teenage bullshit and critical thinking.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Tiziana Casciaro, author of Power For All, joins us to explore the intricate power dynamics between parents and their teenage children, shedding light on effective strategies for sharing power, preventing power abuse, and empowering teens to make constructive choices in their lives and communities.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesRaising teenagers presents a unique challenge in the realm of power dynamics. As children enter their teenage years, the once clear-cut power balance between parent and child begins to shift. Teens seek more independence, making decisions that parents may not always agree with, and sometimes even rebelling against parental authority. This shift can lead to frustration, misunderstandings, and power struggles within the family.This week on Talking to Teens, we dive deep into the world of power dynamics between parents and teenagers with Tiziana Casciaro, a professor of organizational behavior at the University of Toronto and co-author of the insightful book *Power For All*. Her extensive research and work provide a profound understanding of how power functions and can be used positively within relationships, making her the perfect guide for parents navigating these turbulent waters.The Essence of Power in Parent-Teen RelationshipsTiziana breaks down power as simply the ability to influence others' behavior and explains how this concept applies universally—from the teen wishing to gain more freedom to the parent hoping to guide their child towards certain behaviors. Power dynamics within the family evolve as teens grow, seeking validation and influence beyond their parents, which can dilute the parents' direct influence over them.Empowering Versus ControllingOne key to maintaining a healthy relationship with your teenager is understanding the difference between exercising power over them and empowering them to make their own decisions. Tiziana discusses how sharing power and responsibility with teens can lead to mutual respect and better decision-making. By recognizing and validating their growing need for independence and control over their own lives, parents can foster a relationship based on trust and shared goals rather than on authority and rebellion.The Impact of Power on Relationships and IdentityTiziana illuminates how power can change people, often leading to overconfidence or inattentiveness to others' needs and desires. This phenomenon applies to both parents and teens as they navigate their changing relationship. Parents must balance their authoritative role with their child's growing need for autonomy, while teens must manage their newfound power without completely rejecting parental guidance.Educating Teens on the Use and Abuse of PowerAn essential part of parenting is teaching teens about the implications of power in wider societal contexts, including the importance of democracy, collective action, and moral responsibility. Encouraging teens to critically evaluate the leaders and influencers they choose to follow can empower them to contribute positively to society.Strategies for Positive Power DynamicsThe episode concludes with practical advice for parents on fostering positive and productive power dynamics within their family. By understanding what their teens value and strive for, parents can position themselves as allies in their teenagers' pursuit of happiness, security, and self-esteem.Additional Topics Covered:- Identifying and supplying what teenagers value as a strategy for shared power.- The role of democracy and collective action in teaching teens about power.- The dangers of unchecked power and the importance of accountability.- Encouraging teens to voice their opinions constructively, even in disagreement.- Real-life examples of power dynamics reshaping family relationships for the better.Listening to this episode will provide parents, educators, and anyone involved in a teenager's life with a deeper understanding of how to navigate and negotiate power dynamics for healthier relationships and positive development. Don't miss this insightful discussion on empowering our teens and ourselves.Listen to the episode and subscribe to Talking to Teens for more expert advice on parenting teenagers.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Craig Wright, author of The Hidden Habits of Genius, explores the patterns and habits behind history's greatest minds, discussing curiosity, risk-taking, and why genius doesn't always equate to happiness.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesRaising a teenager comes with its unique set of challenges, and one of the most daunting tasks for any parent, teacher, or guardian is nurturing the inherent potential within each young adult. Whether it's about encouraging academic excellence, supporting extracurricular passions, or simply guiding them through the trials of adolescence, the aim is often the same—to help them excel and perhaps, uncover a touch of genius along the way.But what really makes a genius? Is it an IQ score that soars off the charts, an unyielding talent in arts, or perhaps something deeper, something nestled within the folds of daily habits and choices? This week on Talking to Teens, we are thrilled to welcome Craig Wright, a Professor Emeritus from Yale and the esteemed author of The Hidden Habits of Genius: Beyond Talent, IQ, and Grit. Unlocking the Secrets of Greatness. With years of experience and research backed by travels across the globe to study history's most remarkable minds, Craig brings a new perspective on what truly cultivates greatness.Craig offers a fascinating breakdown of what defines genius, rebuking the traditional confinements of IQ scores and talents as sole indicators of a masterful mind. Instead, he introduces us to the equation G = S * D (Genius = Significance * Duration), opening a dialogue on how significance and duration play into the legacies of known geniuses and how these metrics can apply to our understanding of achievement and brilliance.Curiosity Over ScoresCraig emphasizes the paramount importance of curiosity and broad interests as foundational elements of genius. The quest for knowledge and the eagerness to engage deeply with various topics can often outweigh the benefits of scoring perfectly on standard tests or focusing solely on specialized subjects. He argues that the SATs and academic grades, while important, should not be the be-all and end-all of a teenager's development.Embrace Risk and Learn from FailureThe discussion delves into the idea that true geniuses are not only risk-takers but also individuals who see failure as a springboard for further exploration and discovery. Craig shares insights on how geniuses, despite their unparalleled contributions to humanity, often lead tumultuous personal lives, suggesting a degree of self-centrality required to push the boundaries of convention. Yet, it's this very ability to confront the unknown and recover from setbacks that fuel innovation and exceptional achievement.Cultivating Genius at HomeFor parents, the goal isn't to mould their children into the next Einstein or Da Vinci forcibly but to encourage an environment where learning, curiosity, and resilience are valued above all. Craig provides practical advice for fostering a safe space for intellectual exploration, emphasizing the importance of allowing teens the freedom to pursue their interests widely.Nurturing Tomorrow's InnovatorsIn a world where specialization and immediate gratification often overshadow the virtues of patience and exploration, Craig's insights are a refreshing reminder of the values that truly nurture greatness. He advocates for a broader educational experience—encouraging teens to immerse themselves in liberal arts and humanities to develop empathy, critical thinking, and a broader understanding of the world.In this Episode...Join us as we discuss more hidden habits of genius, touching upon:The importance of moving and exposure to cultural epicentersThe distinction between prodigies and geniusesStrategies for improving concentration and productivityThe role of constraints in fostering creativityDon't miss this enlightening conversation with Craig Wright and discover how you can support the teens in your life in unlocking their potential for greatness. Who knows? The journey might just reveal a budding genius ready to change the world.Listen to the episode now, and don't forget to subscribe to Talking to Teens for more insights and strategies on navigating the complexities of teen parenting.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Kristin Neff, author of "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself," sheds light on the pivotal shift from cultivating self-esteem to fostering self-compassion in our children, especially through the tumultuous teenage years.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesParenting teenagers is an odyssey filled with highs and lows, during which we often focus on bolstering our kids' self-esteem and ensuring they excel. Yet, emerging research pivots our attention towards the essence of self-compassion, a force equally potent yet profoundly different.We're joined by Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the realm of self-compassion. As the author of "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself" and a mother to an autistic teenager, Kristin introduces us to self-compassion not just as a concept, but as a transformative practice. Through her own journey and extensive research, she's unearthed how self-compassion can be a beacon of hope and resilience for parents and teens alike.The Self-Esteem TrapOften, our parenting journey is underscored by a drive to boost our kids' self-esteem. However, an overemphasis on self-esteem can entangle our teens in a web where their worth is contingent on accomplishments, appearance, and external validation. Kristin sets the stage for a conversation on why shifting our focus from self-esteem to self-compassion can lead to healthier, more fulfilling adolescent years.How do we cultivate an environment of self-compassion in the midst of teenage turmoil? Kristin delves into the practical applications of self-compassion, from understanding its components—mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness—to embracing exercises and strategies that foster an inner sense of unconditional worth.The Ripple Effects of Self-CompassionDrawing from her personal experience with her son, Kristin illustrates the profound impact self-compassion has on parenting. She discusses how embracing our own imperfections as parents and fostering an attitude of kindness and understanding towards ourselves can profoundly influence our children's sense of self-worth, resilience, and overall well-being.In a world where teens grapple with identity, societal pressures, and the quest for belonging, self-compassion emerges as a compass guiding them towards authenticity. Kristin explores how self-compassion empowers teenagers to navigate these challenges with grace, encourages genuine self-exploration, and cultivates a robust, unwavering sense of self-worth that isn’t tethered to accomplishments or external approval.In This Episode...Understanding the distinction between self-esteem and self-compassion.Strategies for integrating self-compassion into daily life and parenting.The transformative power of self-compassion on teenagers’ mental health and self-worth.Practical exercises to foster a self-compassionate mindset in both parents and teens.Join us as we unravel the potential of self-compassion to revolutionize how we parent and empower our teens to lead lives marked by kindness, resilience, and unconditional self-acceptance.Listen to this episode, and subscribe to Talking to Teens for more insights into navigating the complexities of raising teenagers with empathy, understanding, and compassion.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Louis Weinstock, author of "How the World is Making Our Children Mad and What to do About It," explores toxic communication patterns, the impact of societal pressures on teen mental health, and strategies for fostering emotional empowerment and resilience.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesToday's teenagers are navigating an increasingly complex world. With the rise of social media, economic pressures, and an overabundance of information, it's no wonder that parents are seeing an uptick in mental health issues among their teens. From anxiety and depression to learned helplessness, the challenges are myriad, but understanding their root causes is the key to effective parenting in modern times.Joining us on this episode is Louis Weinstock, a therapist, co-founder of the charity *A Part of Me*, and author of "How the World is Making Our Children Mad and What to do About It." Louis uses his extensive experience working with troubled kids and teens to discuss the deeper issues affecting our children's mental health and how parents can navigate these challenges to foster resilience, emotional empowerment, and healthier communication.Understanding the Impact of Modern Society on TeensLouis kicks off our conversation by delving into how society's ever-increasing demands and pressures have contributed to a rise in mental health issues among teenagers. He explains the importance of looking beyond labels and diagnoses to understand the root causes of our children's struggles. The first step toward change, Louis suggests, is for adults to do the inner work required to support our children through these tumultuous times.The Power of Emotional EmpowermentOne of the key themes in our talk with Louis is the concept of emotional empowerment versus resilience. He challenges the traditional notion that teens should simply "power through" adversity, advocating instead for a balance between acknowledging one's emotions and finding constructive ways to manage them. Louis offers insights into how parents can encourage their teenagers to be emotionally empowered, rather than resigned to their circumstances or overly reliant on parental rescue.Redefining Success and Navigating Social MediaWe also explore the crucial topics of success, social media, and the disconnection from our bodies. Louis presents an alternative view of success that goes beyond competition and material gains, emphasizing the importance of instilling values like kindness and compassion in our children. Additionally, he shares strategies for helping teenagers navigate the complex world of social media and reestablish a healthy connection with their bodies.Practical Exercises and InsightsThroughout the episode, Louis shares a variety of practical exercises and strategies for parents and their teens. From defining family values to engaging in meaningful conversations about uncomfortable topics, these tools aim to challenge toxic patterns, encourage critical thinking, and promote a healthier, more balanced lifestyle.In the Episode...Exploring the Drama Triangle and its impact on family dynamicsStrategies for breaking the cycle of learned helplessnessThe importance of unconditional love and slowing down in parentingPractical exercises for fostering emotional empowerment and resilience in teensRecommendations for navigating social media and redefining successJoin us for an enlightening discussion full of actionable advice on how to support your teenager through the challenges of modern society. Don't forget to share and subscribe to "Talking to Teens" for more insightful episodes on the art and science of parenting teenagers.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Tanith Carey, author of What's My Tween Thinking?, returns to discuss the distinct challenges and opportunities of parenting tweens, focusing on identity development, handling changing family dynamics, navigating peer influence, and fostering emotional awareness and introspection in 8 to 12-year-olds.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesAs parents, witnessing our child morph from a carefree kid into a tween can sometimes feel like navigating uncharted waters. The tween years, traditionally seen as a quiet phase before the storm of the teenage years, are now understood to be a crucial period of identity development and emotional growth. It's a time when children start to question their place in the world, develop deeper peer relationships, and often begin to seek independence from their families.This week on Talking to Teens, we’re joined by Tanith Carey, a renowned author and educator known for her insightful books on parenting, including the highly-praised What's My Tween Thinking?. Tanith offers her expertise to unravel the complex emotional landscape of tweens and provides practical advice for guiding them through this pivotal stage.Identity Exploration and Peer InfluenceThe tween years are marked by a significant exploration of identity. Tanith explains that as children move through this phase, they start to compare themselves to their peers, which can lead to new insecurities and doubts. The establishment of more defined friendship groups also introduces tweens to the complexities of social hierarchies and conflicts. Tanith stresses the importance of preparing tweens for these experiences by discussing the broader picture, helping them understand the nature of social dynamics and encouraging self-reflection and emotional awareness.Navigating Family Dynamics and IndependenceAs tweens seek more independence, family dynamics can shift dramatically. Tanith shares how parents can manage these changes, from the tween's desire for private space to their evolving way of relating to family members. She emphasizes respect for the tween's growing need for autonomy while maintaining open lines of communication and connection.Tackling Tough Topics and Social Media InfluenceTanith and Andy dive into some of the more challenging aspects of parenting tweens, including handling exposure to negative societal messages and navigating the digital landscape. Tanith offers advice on discussing sensitive topics like appearance, peer pressure, and the impact of social media, highlighting the importance of encouraging tweens to critically evaluate the messages they receive and to develop a strong sense of self-awareness.Encouraging Emotional Awareness and IntrospectionOne of the key themes throughout the episode is the importance of fostering emotional awareness and introspection in tweens. Tanith shares strategies for helping tweens tune into their feelings and bodily sensations as a way of understanding their emotions, making healthier choices, and developing resilience. This focus on introspection is particularly vital in an age dominated by digital distractions and societal pressures.In the Episode…Apart from the topics mentioned above, Tanith and Andy also discuss:  - The implications of early puberty and the impact on tweens' self-image.  - Strategies for encouraging open discussions about difficult topics, including misogyny and consent.  - The importance of modeling healthy emotional regulation and empathy.  - Ways to support tweens in finding their "spark" or passion.  - Techniques for balancing screen time with real-world activities and social interactions.Tanith Carey's work provides invaluable insights into the tween mind, offering practical tips and compassionate guidance for parents navigating these formative years. Her evidence-based approach emphasizes the importance of understanding, communication, and emotional intelligence in fostering healthy development and strong parent-tween relationships.Don’t miss this enlightening conversation on what it means to parent a tween in today's world. Tune in to learn more about how you can support your tween’s journey of self-discovery and emotional growth. Subscribe to the Talking to Teens podcast for more expert advice on the art and science of parenting teenagers.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Dr. Uma Naidoo, author of "This Is Your Brain on Food" and "Calm Your Brain with Food," discusses how dietary choices can significantly impact anxiety levels and overall mental wellness, highlighting the critical connections between gut health, inflammation, and the brain.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesRaising teenagers is no easy feat, especially when dealing with the complexities of their mental health. In today's fast-paced and stress-filled world, an increasing number of teens are facing anxiety. While therapy and coping strategies are essential tools, there's an often overlooked component that could be contributing significantly to your teenager's anxiety: their diet.Our guest today is Dr. Uma Naidoo, a renowned psychiatrist, nutrition specialist, and author. Dr. Naidoo has made groundbreaking strides in the field of nutritional psychiatry, showcasing the profound effect food has on our mental state, specifically anxiety. Through her work, she uncovers the intricate connections between what we eat, the health of our gut, and how our brain functions.Understanding the Gut-Brain ConnectionDr. Naidoo takes us through the fascinating gut-brain axis, explaining how these two seemingly disconnected body parts communicate through neurotransmitters and hormones. Foods with high glycemic loads, artificial sweeteners, and certain fats can cause inflammation not only in our bodies but also in our brains, exacerbating anxiety and other mental health issues.Nourishment for Mental HealthTransitioning to healthier eating habits can seem daunting, but Dr. Naidoo provides practical advice and easy-to-follow steps for gradually making these changes. Focusing on whole, unprocessed foods rich in fiber, omega-3 fatty acids, and magnesium can have a positive impact on mental well-being. She also warns against the overconsumption of caffeine and the importance of avoiding foods that can interfere with medications prescribed for mental health conditions like ADHD.Nutritional Psychiatry at HomeFor parents, implementing Dr. Naidoo's advice means taking a more active role in food choices at home. She offers suggestions for incorporating more nutrient-dense foods into family meals and explains how simple swaps can lead to significant improvements in a teenager's mood and anxiety levels.In this episode, we also cover additional topics, including:- The effects of sugar and processed foods on mental health- Simple dietary adjustments to combat stress and anxiety- How certain foods can impact sleep quality- The relationship between diet and cognitive functionsDr. Naidoo's unique perspective on nutritional psychiatry provides a fresh outlook on managing anxiety through diet. It's a reminder that sometimes, the best medicine comes not from a prescription bottle, but from our own kitchens.If you're intrigued by the powerful connection between what we eat and how we feel, make sure to subscribe to Talking to Teens and look into Dr. Naidoo's work for more insights into harnessing the power of food to foster better mental health in your family.Listen to this enlightening conversation and start making those small, yet impactful changes in your and your teenager's diet today.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Tiffany Jewell, author of Everything I Learned About Racism I Learned in School, joins us to expose the myriad ways racism is embedded in the education system. We discuss the opportunity gap, biased disciplinary practices, problematic tracking, predatory military recruitment, and more - and what teens and parents can do about it.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesToday's teens are facing unprecedented challenges - from pandemic recovery to economic uncertainty to navigating an increasingly complex digital world. But one of the most pervasive and overlooked issues affecting young people is the systemic racism baked into the very institutions meant to uplift and empower them - our schools.Students of color are more than twice as likely to be suspended or expelled. They're underrepresented in advanced classes and overrepresented in special education programs. Their schools are more heavily policed and their lockers more frequently searched. The curriculum largely sidelines their histories and the works of authors who look like them.How can we as parents, educators and advocates ensure that the school system is providing an equitable education and environment for all students? To unpack this crucial question, we're joined by Tiffany Jewell, anti-bias anti-racist educator and author of the new book Everything I Learned About Racism I Learned in School.In our conversation, Tiffany sheds light on the often subtle ways racism manifests in schools, and provides actionable guidance for teens and parents to question the status quo and advocate for change.The Opportunity GapRather than an "achievement gap," Tiffany argues what we're really seeing is an opportunity gap. Schools serving predominantly students of color are chronically under-resourced, understaffed, and overcrowded. Low expectations and biased perceptions from teachers limit students' potential. The result is a self-perpetuating cycle of inequity.Tiffany explains how parents can reframe the conversation around student success and advocate for more equitable allocation of resources and opportunities. She also shares tips for empowering teens to recognize and call out unfairness when they see it.Discriminatory DisciplineBlack students are four times more likely to face suspension than their White peers, often for minor infractions like "disrespect" or "defiance" that go unpunished for other students. Meanwhile, schools with majority students of color are far more likely to employ invasive tactics like suspicionless searches.Tiffany unpacks the biases and power dynamics driving these disparities, and offers strategies for parents to protect their teens' rights and dignity in disciplinary situations. She also discusses the importance of restorative justice models that address root causes of behavior rather than criminalizing students.Predatory RecruitmentMilitary recruiters aggressively target low-income schools and students of color, capitalizing on the lack of opportunity in these communities. Federal law requires "failing" schools to turn over student contact info to recruiters, who use coercive tactics to enlist teens with few other options.Tiffany shares eye-opening data on the military recruitment machine and its exploitation of the opportunity gap. She advises parents on how to opt out of recruiter contact lists and encourages teens to critically examine the risks and realities of military service.Curriculum & RepresentationFrom history to literature to STEM fields, the standard curriculum is overwhelmingly White and male. Students of color rarely see themselves reflected, and are implicitly told their stories and contributions are less important.Tiffany calls on parents and students to demand more representative, culturally-responsive content in every subject. She shares tips for supplementing classroom learning with diverse perspectives at home. Even small acts, like recommending a great book by an author of color to a teacher, can make a difference.Throughout our discussion, Tiffany emphasizes the power of an individual to question the status quo and gradually shift the system. As she puts it: "School could be a place that is so joyful and empowering...I know we can do better. Let's keep [our children's] amazingness and encourage them to continue being amazing."From practical advocacy strategies to empowering pep talks, this episode is full of wisdom and inspiration for anyone who believes in building a more just and equitable future for all students. Additional topics include:The myth of the "good" school and how it upholds segregationRecognizing and rejecting tone-policing and respectability politicsModeling allyship and using privilege to uplift othersRebuilding a school system that honors all students' brillianceFor more from Tiffany, visit her website tiffanymjewell.com or follow her on Instagram @tiffanymjewell. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next week!Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Chelsey Goodan, author of Underestimated: The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls, shares invaluable insights into empowering teenage girls through listening, validating their emotions, and encouraging a broader sense of self beyond societal expectations, while also addressing body image, feminism, and the struggles teens face today.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesRaising teenage girls often feels like navigating a minefield of societal pressures, emotional upheaval, and misunderstood conversations. Parents strive to empower their daughters but find themselves grappling with how to breach topics on body image, confidence, feminism, and independence without exacerbating the situation. Today, more than ever, teenage girls are facing unprecedented challenges, from the pressures of social media to confronting traditional gender roles, leaving parents questioning how they can support their daughters through these tumultuous years.Our esteemed guest, Chelsey Goodan, brings a wealth of experience and insights to this conversation. With 17 years under her belt as an academic tutor and mentor for teenage girls, Chelsey has also lent her expertise as the mentorship director of the non-profit DemocraShe and the founder of the Activist Cartel. Her book, *Underestimated: The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls*, unveils the untapped potential and profound insights of teenage girls, urging us to listen more and to foster meaningful conversations that validate and empower.The Power of Validation and ListeningChelsey emphasizes the importance of allowing teenage girls to express their feelings without hurriedly offering solutions or dismissing their emotions. By simply validating their experiences and emotions, we can help them process their feelings healthily, building a foundation of trust and open communication. Chelsey provides practical insights into "holding space" for these conversations, demonstrating how we can encourage girls to find their solutions and gain confidence in their decision-making abilities.Breaking Cycles and Expanding IdentityThrough Chelsey’s stories and examples, we learn how to break the cycles of perfectionism, people-pleasing, and negative self-talk. Chelsey discusses expanding a girl’s sense of identity beyond academic achievements or singular interests, urging a multifaceted self-view that fosters resilience and inner strength. Encouraging exploration and supporting their passions can lead to a more balanced and fulfilled sense of self.Tackling Tough Topics with Radical HonestyFrom discussing feminism to confronting the unrealistic beauty standards perpetuated by the media, Chelsey outlines strategies for having radical, honest conversations about the issues that matter most to teenage girls today. She offers advice on how parents can engage in these discussions, not by dictating but by opening up dialogues that respect and value the girl's perspectives and unique voices.Cultivating a Culture of ComplimentsChelsey highlights the intricacies of giving meaningful compliments that resonate with teenage girls, illustrating how specificity and authenticity in praise can make them feel seen, heard, and genuinely valued. This approach not only bolsters their self-esteem but also encourages a closer, more understanding relationship between parent and child.In the Episode:- How simple acts of listening and validating can transform your relationship with your teenage daughter.- Strategies to break the cycle of people-pleasing and perfectionism.- Approaching difficult conversations around body image, feminism, and identity with openness and curiosity.- The potent effects of detailed and heartfelt compliments.- Plus, Chelsey takes us through how to engage teenage girls in conversations about their interests, even if it’s about figures like Kim Kardashian, to explore deeper topics such as media influence and self-expression.Chelsey's insights serve as a beacon for parents navigating the complexities of raising teenage girls in today's world. Her emphasis on conversation, validation, and empowering girls to find their voice demonstrates the transformative power of understanding and support.Be sure to grab a copy of Underestimated: The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls for more of Chelsey’s invaluable advice. And remember, fostering an environment where teenage girls feel empowered, valued, and understood can make all the difference in their journey to adulthood.Listen to the episode for a deep dive into empowering teenage girls and subscribe to Talking to Teens for more expert advice on connecting with the teenagers in your life.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Sheila Liming, author of Hanging Out: The Radical Power of Killing Time, explores the underestimated value of unstructured social time for teens, discussing why it's essential for developing negotiation skills, setting boundaries, and fostering creativity.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show Notes:In today's fast-paced world, parents often worry about their teenagers' productivity and safety. The idea of teens "just hanging out" can induce anxiety, conjuring images of wasted time or potential mischief. Yet, these unstructured moments play a critical role in adolescents' development, offering unique opportunities for learning and growth unattainable in more structured settings.Our guest, Sheila Liming, brings a fresh perspective on the art of hanging out. An accomplished teacher, essayist, and author, Sheila has extensively explored the complex dynamics of social interactions and their impact on individual development. Her book, Hanging Out: The Radical Power of Killing Time, challenges prevailing notions of productivity, suggesting that these seemingly idle moments are foundational to shaping character and interpersonal skills.The Value of Unstructured TimeSheila argues that hanging out offers teens essential lessons in negotiation, boundary setting, and improvisation. Away from adult supervision and structured activities, teens learn to navigate social dynamics, make collective decisions, and, crucially, understand their own limits. This episode delves into why fostering these skills is crucial for their transition into adulthood.Overcoming the Stigma of Idle TimeThe common view of idle time as inherently unproductive overlooks its potential to strengthen relationships and community bonds. Sheila and host Andy Earle discuss how parents can reframe their understanding of what it means for teens to spend time together without a set agenda. They touch on the historical context of hanging out and how digital interactions compare with face-to-face gatherings.Embracing Risk and FlexibilityOne of Sheila's key messages is the importance of embracing risk and being open to the unpredictable nature of social interactions. For teens, navigating this uncertainty is vital for emotional development. The conversation covers practical ways for parents to encourage their teens to engage in healthy social experimentation while maintaining safety and trust.Making Time for ConnectionIn our busy lives, making room for genuine connections can be challenging. Sheila shares insights into why dedicating time to hang out—both for teens and adults—is more crucial than ever. She offers tips on how parents can model healthy social behavior and create opportunities for meaningful family interactions.Episode HighlightsThe misunderstood benefits of unstructured teen hangoutsHow hanging out fosters critical life skillsBalancing safety with the necessity of risk-taking in social settingsStrategies for parents to encourage healthy teen socializationThe evolving landscape of hanging out in the digital ageAmid a culture obsessed with productivity and screen time, encouraging teens to engage in the simple act of hanging out might seem counterintuitive. Yet, as Sheila Liming articulates, these moments are irreplaceable workshops for life's most valuable lessons. Tune in to learn how to support your teen in making the most of their social opportunities.Don't miss out on this enlightening conversation—subscribe to Talking to Teens to stay updated on insightful discussions aimed at making the journey of parenting teens a bit smoother.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

John Coleman, author of The Psychology of the Teenage Brain, joins us to explain why the biology of the adolescent brain leads to risk taking and emotional ups and downs, and how parents can provide support during this temporary period of development.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesThe teenage years can feel like an emotional rollercoaster for parents and kids alike. Why does your once sweet child suddenly start acting out and making baffling decisions? What drives them to take risks, rebel against authority figures, and make choices that seem completely irrational?In this week’s episode of Talking to Teens, we’re getting to the root of teenage psychology and behavior with an expert guide. We’re joined by Dr. John Coleman, a clinical psychologist who has spent decades researching adolescent development. He’s the founder of a research center focused on teens and their families, and is the author of the book The Psychology of the Teenage Brain.John explains that the ups and downs of the adolescent years can be explained by major changes happening in the biology of the teenage brain. As Dr. Coleman tells us, the teenage brain actually undergoes its biggest developmental shift since infancy, which shapes teen behavior in profound ways parents often don’t realize.The Teenage Brain: Pruning, Hormones and DevelopmentAs John explains, there are two major biological processes unfolding in the adolescent brain: pruning and hormonal changes.First, he describes the proliferation of gray matter that happens in late childhood. Gray matter contains neuron cells, creating lots of connections in the brain. But in the teen years, the brain eliminates unused neural connections through a process called pruning. This effectively “shrinks” the brain, reorganizing it to become more efficient. However, this leads teens to feel uncertain and confused.At the same time, John explains that hormone levels are fluctuating more intensely during adolescence than any other life stage. The hormones affecting mood, stress responses, impulsiveness and more vary greatly throughout the day, leaving teens emotionally unstable. This is why an event can make them despair one moment and elated the next.Understanding the changes happening biologically helps parents empathize with teens during this rocky transition, says John. Even though the period is temporary, it shapes how teens think, process information and regulate emotions in the moment.Why Teens Act Without ThinkingIn our interview, John provides a scientific explanation for why teenagers engage in baffling, risky behavior without considering consequences. As he explains, the brain networks connecting the emotional centers to the prefrontal cortex (the area controlling planning and decision making) are still immature in adolescents. So when intense impulses arise, the thinking part of teens’ brains can’t overcome these urges, leading them to act out without foresight about the outcomes.Helping Teens Develop Healthy BrainsThe good news is there are things we can do to help teens through this period, says John. Having routines, boundaries and open conversations about emotions helps them regulate their moods and behavior. We discuss how parents can model healthy emotional responses for kids, so they can build skills managing feelings that will serve them in adulthood.John also emphasizes that despite teens’ outward rejection of parents, they still heavily rely on parental support during this challenging developmental window. So staying patiently engaged as a caring guide remains important, even when kids are pulling away to assert their independence.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

David Magee, author of Things Have Changed, joins us to explain today's teen addiction crisis involving social media, potent synthetic drugs and vulnerable mental health.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show Notes Teen substance use has drastically changed in recent years. With skyrocketing rates of anxiety, depression and addiction, today’s parents are facing new and confusing challenges when trying to help their kids. We used to assume teens mainly struggled with peer pressure around drinking or smoking cigarettes. Now, teens face a host of new pressures tied to social media, a lack of sleep, and easy access to dangerously potent substances.To help parents understand what’s really happening and how we can better communicate with struggling teens, we spoke with David Magee, author of Things Have Changed: What Every Parent and Educator Should Know About the Student Mental Health and Substance Misuse Crisis.After losing his son William to an accidental overdose in college, David became an advocate for better understanding teen addiction. He now speaks nationwide to students and parents, and started the William McGee Institute for Student Well Being at Ole Miss.It’s Not The Same SubstancesToday’s teens aren’t using their parent’s drugs. While past generations struggled with alcohol, cigarettes or weaker strains of marijuana, today’s kids are taking synthetic drugs, often laced with fentanyl, that are exponentially more potent and dangerous, David explains.He describes a current epidemic of fake Adderall pills being sold to high schoolers and college students. The counterfeit pills are never actual Adderall, but instead made of unknown substances designed to be addictive. Almost all contain fentanyl, says David. Kids think they’re buying a familiar drug, but it’s actually much more treacherous.This is just one example of how substances have changed. David explains today’s marijuana can have THC levels of 70-90%, compared to just 4-8% in the 1990s. He says schools are shocked when drug tests come back 6 or 7 times higher than just a few years ago.Social Media Enables Secret AddictionDavid explains that the majority of illegal transactions happen over social media apps and payment platforms. Kids are finding connections on Instagram and Snapchat, then paying through Venmo or CashApp to stay under the radar.Seeing multiple Venmo payments in and out of a teen’s account every day could signal that something is amiss, says David. He explains that parents needs to understand today’s digital landscape to spot warning signs. Punishment and phone monitoring usually backfires, while asking caring questions can help kids open up.Focus on Feelings, Not Scare TacticsWell-meaning authority figures often take a punitive approach, trying to scare teens away from substances through condemnation. But David explains this usually has the opposite effect, making kids feel ashamed in ways that increase their desire to use.Instead, he suggests leading with empathy, compassion and care. Getting kids the right kind of therapy or counseling is crucial, preferably with someone who specializes in teen addiction. Building teens’ emotional intelligence through ongoing communication within families is key.Above all, David focuses on helping teens cultivate sustainable joy in their lives, not just harping on what they shouldn’t do. He explains that happy, engaged teens are less likely to self-medicate through dangerous substance use.If you found this episode helpful, check out David’s website at davidmcgee.com for more resources. His book provides practical guidance for parents and educators struggling with today’s newly complex issues around teen mental health and addiction. Please subscribe for more content that can help strengthen family relationships during the critical teen years.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Michael Rich, author of The Mediatrician’s Guide, joins us to explain why we must move beyond fear of “screen time” to have more nuanced conversations with teens about finding balance, meaning and ethics in their digital lives.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesTeens today have never known a world without smartphones, social media, and round-the-clock internet access. As digital devices become more and more ingrained into every aspect of their lives, it's only natural for parents to worry about the impact all this technology might have.We often hear panicked stories about social media causing depression or video game addiction destroying kids' attention spans. It makes us want to snatch the screens out of teens' hands completely! But is going cold turkey really the best approach?To help parents navigate the digital age, we're talking to Dr. Michael Rich, an expert on kids and media. Dr. Rich is an associate professor of pediatrics at Harvard Medical School and the founder and director of the Clinic for Interactive Media and Internet Disorders at Boston Children’s Hospital.He's also the author of a new book called The Mediatrician’s Guide: A Joyful Approach to Raising Healthy, Smart, Kind Kids in a Screen Saturated World. As both a pediatrician and a former filmmaker, Dr. Rich has a unique perspective on why we should move past fear-based thinking when it comes to kids and technology.Rethinking "Screen Time"Trying to simply limit screen time is an outdated way of thinking, says Dr. Rich. Screens are so embedded into every part of life that trying to quantify daily use is irrelevant. Instead of counting minutes spent staring at a device, Dr. Rich encourages intentionality. This means being mindful, balanced and present in how we interact with technology.Dr. Rich coins these practices the “killer B’s.” Being mindful means understanding how device use displaces other activities, while being balanced means taking regular screen breaks. Most importantly, being present while using devices prevents us from missing out on real world connections. Trying to upgrade from texting to calling to in-person interactions is key.Looking Below Problematic BehaviorsIt’s easy to blame devices themselves for issues like addiction or bullying. However, Dr. Rich explains that problematic digital behaviors are usually symptoms of underlying issues like ADHD, anxiety, depression or autism spectrum disorders. Taking away teens’ access without addressing root causes may make problems worse.Dr. Rich notes that teens often see their devices as tools that help them cope with or avoid difficulties in their lives. Complete removal can heighten their distress. Instead, identifying and properly treating adolescents’ mental health is key to curbing unhealthy digital habits.Fostering Digital WellnessRather than seeing devices as inherently bad, Dr. Rich focuses on how we can use them for good. Social platforms and interactive games actually have huge potential for building community, creativity and emotional skills.However, teens need guidance on using digital spaces ethically. Dr. Rich encourages parents to model intentional digital wellness and have open conversations about pitfalls like compare/despair thinking or internet rabbit holes. Promoting self-awareness and balance helps teens build healthy lifelong technology habits.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Lance Burdett, author of Dark Side of the Brain, explains why teens generate unhelpful thoughts and how we can reframe anxious thinking by getting comfortable with discomfort.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesRaising teenagers can feel like navigating an emotional minefield blindfolded. Their moods swing rapidly from joyful to gloomy, their friendships feel fleeting, and their interests change every five minutes. Meanwhile, the pressure to get good grades, gain college acceptance and determine their entire future weighs heavily on their shoulders.It’s no wonder teens get overwhelmed by this cocktail of hormones, peer pressure and looming adulthood. Their brains are firing on all cylinders, trying desperately to make sense of it all. Often, this neural chaos manifests as worry, anxiety, negative thought patterns and even depression.So how can we help teens move through this rocky passage of life? How can we get them to open up about their mental struggles instead of shutting down? Most importantly, how can we empower them to reframe unhelpful thoughts and take control of their own wellbeing?To gain some perspective, we’re speaking with Lance Burdett, a former police crisis negotiator turned adolescent mental health expert. Lance has worked extensively with teens and parents to help them understand the “Dark Side of the Brain” – the automatic negative thought patterns that often arise during times of stress.In his book Dark Side of the Brain and on today’s episode, Lance is explaining the science behind our brain’s threat detection system that generates needless worry. He’s also revealing why it’s okay for teens to admit they’re not okay – as long as they ask for help afterward. We discuss how parents can model self-care, help teens reframe anxious thoughts and teach kids to get comfortable with discomfort.Why Our Brains Make Sh*t UpThe human brain developed mainly to keep our ancestors alive on the African savanna over two million years ago. This means our brains are wired first and foremost for survival, not happiness, Lance explains.When our ancestors encountered threats like predators, adverse weather or lack of resources, their brains kicked into high alert, pumping out adrenaline and cortisol to ready the body for fight or flight. Unfortunately, our modern brains can’t tell the difference between a lion attack and a mean comment on Instagram. So teens often experience an exaggerated stress response to non-life-threatening issues like peer drama or academic pressure.This is why teens frequently catastrophize small problems, assume the worst and spiral into intense worry, Lance says. Their brains are simply acting on evolutionary impulses that once kept humans safe – but now cause needless stress. Understanding the brain’s tendency to “make shit up” can help teens reframe anxious thoughts as just their brains being overprotective.It’s Okay to Say “I’m Not Okay”Parents often tell struggling teens that “it’s okay not to be okay” to encourage them to open up about their troubles. But Lance warns that this mantra can be dangerous if left by itself, as it makes mental distress seem permissible. Instead, he advocates adding a second half – “it’s okay to say I’m not okay...as long as I ask for help afterward.”The most vital step for teens is the help-asking, Lance stresses. Admitting one is not okay is only the first move. What matters next is having teens reach out to friends, family members, counselors or crisis lines to get the support they need.Lance explains that previous generations hid mental health struggles due to stigma. But today’s teens can be more open about feeling depressed, anxious, overwhelmed or suicidal – on the condition that they let caring adults know they need support. Saying “I’m not okay” is the starting point, not the solution itself.Running Towards DiscomfortAs parents, we often try to smooth out every bump in the road for our teens to give them comfortable, happy lives. But Lance argues that facing difficulty is how teens build grit and perseverance. He uses the mantra “run toward the fire” to illustrate that teens should challenge themselves and even pursue discomfort - not despite their anxiety, but because of it.Lance encourages parents to step back from constantly intervening on a teen’s behalf with teachers and coaches. By facing problems head-on, teens gain confidence handling difficult situations. Start small by encouraging a shy teen to order their own food at a restaurant, Lance suggests. Taking ownership of tiny challenges gives teens courage to handle bigger hardships down the road.Discomfort also breeds self-awareness, Lance explains. Trying new things pushes teens outside their comfort zones where they can gain insight about their skills, values and preferences. Lance suggests parents promote diverse activities to acquaint teens with unfamiliar peers and experiences. Pushing boundaries expands their worldviews - which leads to personal growth.In the Episode...My conversation with Lance was incredibly eye-opening. On top of the topics above, we also discuss:Why teens desperately need more sleepHow to reframe suicidal thoughtsWhy goals and worry aren’t the enemyHow parents can model self-care Check out Lance’s website at lanceburdett.com to learn more! Thanks for listening - be sure to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts!Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Dustin Dunbar, author of You’re Doing Great and Other Lies Alcohol Told Me, joins us to reveal the false messaging alcohol feeds teens about itself and discusses how parents can model alcohol-free lives to intrinsically give kids the skills to resist drinking culture.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesTeenage years come with intense new social pressures – the urge to fit in, make friends, and figure out who you are can feel overwhelming. In the midst of this tumultuous period, teens are confronted with the prevalence of underage drinking all around them. Their peers are doing it, cool kids on social media make it look fun and exciting, and it seems like the “normal” thing to do.As parents, we want to protect our kids not just from the dangers of alcohol itself, but from falling for the many myths alcohol sells – that it’ll make you happier, more fun, more liked and more confident. The reality is, teens need tools and support to handle their insecurities, anxieties and difficult emotions in healthy, constructive ways.This week, we’re talking about how we can empower teenagers to develop self-awareness and stay alcohol-free amidst intense social pressures. We’re joined by Dustin Dunbar, founder of The Alcohol-Free Revolution and author of the book “You’re Doing Great (And Other Lies Alcohol Told Me)”.Dustin grew up surrounded by family members struggling with alcohol addiction. After overcoming his own battle with alcohol, Dustin has devoted himself to smashing the myths and lies alcohol tells young people. He’s here to reveal the tactics Big Alcohol uses to target teens, and explain why drinking culture is declining amongst Gen Z.Why Teens Are Drinking LessDespite the messaging bombarding them every day, today’s teenagers are actually drinking less than past generations. Dustin explains how teens are seeing through the deception inherent in alcohol advertising and social norms. More teens are prioritizing their health and wellbeing over fleeting social acceptance.Dustin reveals the shocking cancer risks of alcohol, and why social media influencers never show the negative consequences the next day. We discuss how parents can prompt critical thinking about the way alcohol is marketed to take advantage of teenagers’ insecurities.Emotional Tools For Handling AnxietyDustin explains why alcohol is so tempting for anxious teens – it suppresses nervous system functioning, numbing difficult emotions. Without alcohol, teens have to learn to sit with feelings of awkwardness, FOMO, insecurity and more.We discuss tools parents can teach teens to handle emotions healthily, like identifying underlying feelings, de-escalating anger, setting kind boundaries, and expressing needs calmly. Dustin shares how learning these tools transformed his relationships.Modeling Mindful DrinkingResearch shows parental drinking habits have an enormous influence on teens. Dustin implores parents to seriously evaluate their own drinking and model more consciousness. Substance abuse often masks unresolved trauma – Dustin explains why getting vulnerable and giving up numbing aids can lead to self-discovery.Becoming an Alcohol-Free Role ModelAs Dustin explains, parents’ own drinking habits can normalize alcohol for impressionable teens. Showing teens an alcohol-free lifestyle demonstrates better coping strategies for stress and models healthier social skills that don’t require liquid courage. Our interview dives into the surprising interpersonal benefits Dustin has experienced since quitting drinking.Joining the Alcohol-Free RevolutionDustin discusses the free global community he created to support people in transitioning to alcohol-free lives. Members find camaraderie in overcoming drinking triggers, guidance in handling new emotions now out of suppression, and inspiration from others navigating the journey. Dustin explains how membership gives lobbying power to eventually ban alcohol advertising, preventing further generational indoctrination.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Justin Lee, author of Talking Across the Divide, joins us to explain how parents can have more productive disagreements with teens by overcoming the ego protection instinct and using storytelling to find common ground.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesParenting a teenager often feels like an ideological battleground. Their values, interests and worldviews can seem completely foreign to our own, causing rifts in our relationship almost daily. Navigating these choppy waters requires strategy and finesse so that we don’t widen the gap even further.This week, we’re learning how to bridge divides from someone who has made connections his life’s work. We’re joined by Justin Lee, author of the new book Talking Across the Divide: How to Communicate with People You Disagree With and Maybe Even Change the World.Justin has spent over 20 years facilitating thoughtful dialogue between groups that typically don’t see eye to eye. As the founder of the world’s largest LGBTQ Christian advocacy organization, Justin has firsthand experience bringing together people of divergent backgrounds. Now, he’s sharing his tried and tested methods for overcoming conflicts by focusing on shared interests and storytelling.Even when parents and teens sit on what feel like opposite sides of the ideological spectrum, we likely have more in common than we realize. By approaching rifts strategically instead of confrontationally, we can narrow divides and start effecting real change.The Ego Protection InstinctWhen tensions run high, our first instinct is often to double down on our position. After all, no one wants to look like the “bad guy” or feel embarrassed when realizing they’re wrong. This ego protection instinct kicks in, causing both parties to dig their heels in further in order to save face.Justin explains that the key to working through this instinct is to approach the conversation calmly and strategically. Making teens defensive will only cause them to reject our perspective entirely. By listening first instead of accusing, we make space for their viewpoint while getting them to lower their guard. This thoughtful approach makes them more receptive later on when we share our own story.Telling Our StoryWhen it comes time to share our side, Justin explains that facts and figures often fall flat. What really helps the other person relate to our position is hearing the story behind why this issue matters so much to us.By explaining our personal experiences, worries, disappointments and more, the other person gains empathy and understanding as to why we ended up with these strong beliefs. Storytelling helps them step into our shoes, seeing our views as reasonable instead of attacking our character. It also allows both parties to recognize each other’s stories as valid without having to denounce the other.Plotting a Way ForwardWithout a plan for how the conversation should end, we risk leaving the other person hurt or resentful. Justin encourages parents to think critically about what they actually want to gain before diving into tense talks. Do we want to “win” by making the teen feel stupid? Or do we want to gain a better understanding between us?By visualizing a story in which the teen’s past actions were reasonable and our new way forward makes sense, we provide a path that allows them to save face while still growing. With thoughtful compromises focused on shared interests rather than contradictory positions, we stand a better chance of inching closer together.No matter how far apart parents and teens may feel at times, Justin proves even groups with the most divergent views can find common ground through strategic, thoughtful dialogue. By leading with empathy and storytelling, we model good communication while bridging ideological divides one conversation at a time.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Janice Fraser, author of Farther, Faster, and Far Less Drama, joins us to explain how families can have productive debates using decision-making frameworks that increase understanding between parents and teens.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesBig family decisions often come loaded with drama. Choosing a high school, making plans for college, or deciding on a family vacation can easily erupt into endless debates. Teens plead their case while parents grow frustrated - and no one feels heard. So how can families have productive talks that lead to real decisions instead of arguments?This week we’re learning how better family decision-making can increase understanding and reduce drama at home. We’re joined by Janice Fraser, author of the new book Farther, Faster, and Far Less Drama: Make Better Decisions By Working Together.As an executive coach and startup advisor focused on group decision-making, Janice has delivered workshops and coached teams around the world. She’s here to teach us how we can facilitate productive family meetings by reframing the way we look at big decisions.Why Family Drama BuildsDuring adolescence, teens develop their own perspectives - but parents don’t always make space to hear them. Without a framework for discussion, family debates can spiral as power struggles emerge. Parents may value efficiency and feel that their experience gives them authority, while teens want to feel autonomy and self-direction.To bridge this gap, Janice suggests focusing conversations around understanding rather than winning arguments. She explains that the real root of family drama lies in a values conflict, one that thoughtful discussion and compromise can usually resolve.Outcomes Over OutputsA key source of tension, Janice reveals, comes from parents and teens having different definitions of success. We often judge our kids by their outputs - their grades, achievements, sports records. But what teens really care about is meaningful outcomes that equip them for adulthood.Janice suggests reframing family talks around the outcomes we want for our teens, like confidence, purpose and responsibility. If we make decisions based on what moves us towards those outcomes, we can avoid getting locked into one narrow path forward.Tools To Organize PerspectivesOf course, gathering different viewpoints is easier said than done. Families need tools to structure productive debates. Janice details facilitation techniques she’s used at home, like writing discussion points on sticky notes before talking.Organizing ideas visually allows equal participation, avoids dead-end arguments and identifies shared priorities. Janice explains how to use methods like 2x2 matrices to focus on urgent topics and depersonalize debates.Modeling Conflict ResolutionThrough thoughtful facilitation, parents can model critical thinking and conflict resolution - skills teens need to thrive as adults. Janice explains that by creating an open, understanding environment, parents show teens how to handle differences maturely in their own relationships.Thoughtful family decision-making leads to better outcomes all around. Janice makes it clear that with the right tools, families can work together for everyone’s growth and success.In the Episode...My conversation with Janice was packed with insights on facilitating family harmony. We also discuss:Why radical self-acceptance enables progressHow to balance participation and authorityWhy the “right decision” mindset backfiresHow to know when a debate should endTo learn more from Janice, visit janicefraser.com or find her on Instagram @janiceleefraser. As always, don’t forget to share and subscribe!Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Cai Graham, author of Fearless and Free, joins us to offer practical strategies for helping teens open up about their anxiety, break through communication barriers, and understand the science of their emotions, guiding them from silent struggles to active coping.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesNavigating the turbulent waters of teenage anxiety can often feel like a daunting task for parents. Teenagers, caught in the storm of hormonal changes and social pressures, might close off, leaving us struggling to reach them. When they do grapple with anxiety, many teens lack the vocabulary or the comfort level to express what's happening inside them, and this silence can create a divide between them and the support they need. On the other hand, parents may feel helpless or at a loss for the right words when they notice their teen's distress. But there's hope—and it begins with understanding, communication, and the tools to change the narrative around anxiety.Enter our guest, Cai Graham, a parenting and teen coach, speaker, podcaster, and the insightful author behind the workbook "Fearless and Free - A Step by Step Blueprint to Conquer Anxiety." Cai brings to light the nuances of teenage anxiety from both parental and adolescent perspectives, delivering frameworks and actionable tactics for starting those necessary conversations.Understanding Anxiety's Hold on TeensCai dives deep into the heart of anxiety, explaining the biology behind it, and destigmatizing the experience for both teens and their parents. She dismantles the shame that can often shroud feelings of anxiety, unpacking why teens might feel a troubling sense of isolation when confronting their worries. By reframing these emotions as natural, Cai enables parents to foster an environment where teens can approach their apprehension without fear of judgment.Communication Tools for Tough TalksCai introduces the 'three questions'—a game-changing tool for parents to get teens talking without overwhelming them. This exercise offers teens the space they need to measure their emotional temperature in a safe space. Through this straightforward approach, the dialogues that once seemed impossible start to flow, creating a foundation for mutual understanding and trust.The Role of Self-Compassion in HealingSelf-compassion is key in the fight against anxiety. Cai urges both parents and teens to exercise it, arguing that it's crucial in the face of setbacks. By examining failure as feedback, not defeat, teens can learn resilience. Cai's discussion on self-compassion serves as a powerful reminder for parents to lead by example in how they handle their own imperfections, ultimately guiding their teens by showing them that being gentle with oneself is not only okay—it's necessary.Navigating Panic and Anxiety: KNOW the DifferenceCai brilliantly differentiates between anxiety and panic, illustrating to parents why understanding the distinction matters. She presents methods to help teens address and cope with the sudden onset of panic as opposed to the simmering worries of anxiety, equipping families with the knowledge to tackle each appropriately.Practical Strategies for Calming the ChaosArmed with tactics like 'brain dumping' and the THINK framework, Cai teaches teens how to prioritize tasks and address the onslaught of negative internal dialogue that can exacerbate anxiety. These strategies are essential tools for empowering teens to take control of their emotional and practical worlds.In this episode, Cai Graham guides us through:   - The power of naming emotions to conquer anxiety   - Coaching teens to manage their to-do lists and calm their minds   - Techniques for grounding and self-soothing during anxious moments   - How to model effective coping strategies to inspire anxious adolescentsTo discover more about Cai Graham's work in supporting families through the journey of adolescence and anxiety, visit CaiGraham.com, or check out her book "Fearless and Free" on Amazon for a comprehensive guide to help your teen thrive.Tune in to learn how you can help your teen transition from anxiety to assurance with the expert advice from Cai Graham. Don’t forget to listen, share, and subscribe to Talking to Teens for weekly insights on guiding teens through their most formative years.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Simone Heng, author of "Let's Talk About Loneliness," joins us to explain why loneliness is reaching epidemic levels among teens, how it rewires the teenage brain, and what steps we can take as parents to help our kids reset and relate.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesLoneliness is reaching epidemic levels among today's teenagers. Studies show teens are lonelier than any other generation, with 10 out of 11 feelings of loneliness. As kids withdraw socially, they get caught in a negative feedback loop where loneliness leads to more loneliness.How can we help pull teens out of this dangerous downward spiral? How can we raise kids equipped for meaningful human connections when devices and social media threaten to replace in-person relating?This week we’re exploring the teenage loneliness crisis, why it’s happening, and what we can do about it. We’re joined by Simone Heng, author of the new book “Let’s Talk About Loneliness.”Simone is a speaker and former broadcaster focused on human connection. She’s here to explain why loneliness can be so devastating to the developing teenage brain, how teens end up self-isolating, and what small steps we can take to foster more connectivity at home and beyond.Why Loneliness Rewires the Teenage BrainLoneliness isn’t just an emotional experience – it changes the actual structure and functioning of the brain, explains Simone. When we don’t get enough in-person interaction, our brains downgrade the areas meant for processing social cues and relating to others.Simone describes how chronic stress from loneliness keeps our body in fight-or-flight mode, releasing excess adrenaline and cortisol. This is meant to motivate us to go out and connect. But instead, lonely teens withdraw even further, caught in a vicious cycle.The overloaded stress response starts to dampen teen’s immune systems, reduce cognition, and make them more prone to disorders later on. At a time when kids need to be developing social skills, loneliness causes their abilities atrophy.Simone and I discuss how this epidemic of disconnection is intertwined with the digital age, where teens derive a false sense of “connection” from screens and devices. She explains why online interaction will never truly satisfy our brain’s hardwired need for in-person relating.Escaping the Downward SpiralThe solution for loneliness isn’t one-size-fits-all, explains Simone. Because each teen’s stress response system functions differently, they need personalized strategies for resetting their body to healthy baseline functioning.Simone suggests getting teen’s cortisol levels tested to find out specifics on their stress response. She then offers individualized nutrition plans, sleep recommendations, and more tailored support. General tips include getting teens outdoors, helping them identify and connect with their values, and limiting time online.An important step is also examining our own stress, says Simone. Kids pick up on parents’ tension, so we have to model self-care, healthy relating, and good boundaries around technology use.Fostering Human Connection at HomeWhen teens isolate in their rooms, it can seem impossible to draw them out. But Simone suggests reframing device use as a privilege to be earned through family connection.She gives examples like asking teens to put phones away during parts of family dinners or outings. We can challenge teens to go on “silent walks” without headphones, and actually engage with the people they pass. We can also prompt them to observe social dynamics when out together, almost as field research rather than always defaulting to screens.With some creativity and commitment to disconnecting from devices, we can develop little rituals of relating that help fulfill our human need for community, says Simone. We just have to be willing to model it ourselves.Additional topics covered:The rise of social anxiety in youthWhy teens hold friends to impossible standardsThe importance of eye contact & micro-connectionsHow to balance social media useThe power of humility & apologyIf you enjoyed this week’s show don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. See you next week!Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok