Non-violent communication. Marshall Rosenberg. Sunday book

Great blog as always...It leaves me with the sense that I'm still not seeing something. There is a sense that what thoughts are 'paid attention to' and which aren't is somehow within 'my' control. What you're saying is that this is not true. There is no 'I' to direct awareness. So there's confusion. In your work I understood we were exploring and noticing the 'programme'. In the noticing and new learning, a new 'programme' is formed. But if there is 'no thing' directing awareness how does this even work?! My misunderstanding - I notice a belief that has unto this point been 'running the show'. In the noticing and being with the feelings, healing happens. A 'new pathway' is formed. But who is doing that? Who is noticing the 'old beliefs' and sitting with the feelings?

Seeing that we are the awareness watching this mind body system make choices, and there is no impact to make “out there”, I’m really watching my system go into “well what’s the point then”, in a way dissolving any of my past externally driven motivations. I also see how from here it’s just watching the system do the next thing there is to do, including doing nothing or sitting with this confusion. If there’s no world out there to make an impact in, then there’s really the freedom to experience what we’d like to experience next, in a non-attached way being ok if it doesn’t happen. So this observer now becoming creator of next thing this system will experience is what I’m curious about now. Going from “well what’s the point” to “wow there’s only freedom now” I’m sorta getting intellectually, and I’m excited to experience it in an embodied/integrated way! 🥴🤩🤓

With this understanding we attend so much more to all the things that are happening inside which can lead to very strong experiences and I wonder how to deal with this overwhelming state, especially in situations with other people?

Since we all have our separate realities. Words like Peace, Joy, Happiness, etc. are defined differently by each of us with our separate realities. Because our definitions will all be different, are any of the definitions of these thoughts and feelings True/Truthful?

I’m about to start the Be the Change course and I’m worried what it will do to me. There are so many things I want to change about the world and I feel as someone with values that this is important. I scroll through social media and I see the videos of violence and the confusion out there. It makes me feel sick and anxious and often I can’t sleep for worrying about the state of the world - especially if I have listened to the news late at night. I am worried that you are just going to say well stop scrolling social media, stop listening to the news. I know that will make me feel better but in a way I don’t want to feel better. Why should I feel peaceful when people are suffering? If I stop looking at these feeds then I worry I’ll end up just end up in some sort of removed bubble, not in touch with reality. So I guess my question is how can I stay in touch with what is going on but still stay in this conversation? 

It always surprises me how some of my vegan friends are offensive towards me as someone who eats meat. Is being Vegan really about the love for animals? Well their offensives can go off the roof. Do they really fight for animal rights or just protect their values? This question came from the conclusion that even the most altruistic act is driven by selfishness to get something for the SELF.  Like my own example of going volunteering to the dog shelters. At one point I saw how doing this is for me to get praise and admiration and has little to do with the stray dogs.

I have been incredibly emotional lately. I cry a lot, actually so much that I am wondering if that is still normal. Also I was very irritated in some situations at work and afterwards I felt like it was really unprofessional to lose my temper.I think I have always been a very emotional person and my feelings are always very intense. I only let myself have them at home and with very few people I trust a lot. In all the other situations it feels too dangerous and I kind of make sure to always keep my emotions out of everything because I don't want to scare people away or lose control over what I say. It feels like something did break open and that there is something very important and powerful in this, and I wonder where to go with this.Sometimes I feel like a child that hasn't learned yet how to regulate their emotions, and now that I am writing this I wonder if I actually really haven't learned this yet.Writing this E Mail also seems kind of inappropriate because I learned that I should't be like this, so I have many thoughts about what anyone reading this would think about me.As always I wonder if any of what I just wrote makes sense, and would be very happy if you could share your thoughts on this.

I’ve been doing some exercises around the ‘headless way’ which involves noticing that there isn’t really a person looking ‘out’ at experience, there is just an expansive nothingness. Through the exercises ‘I’ have seen this, but the nagging question keeps coming back…How can it be true that there isn’t a centre to experience when what ‘I’ experience is also unique to this body, these eyeballs etc.? If I was blind or deaf, I would experience the world entirely differently. Does this not imply that there is an ‘experiencer’ with unique qualities which then inform their experience? How can this be reconciled with the idea that there is only ‘pure’ awareness or experience?

Hi Clare I was brought up by a mum who was very anxious about what people thought of her. She would often over commit to helping others and end up exhausted. I can see the same tendency’s and lack of boundaries in myself and so I try to say no but then I hear you talking about unconditional love and I get confused. Does it mean always saying yes to people?

A relative of mine was recently sectioned and diagnosed with psychosis. I understand psychosis to be a condition in which contact is lost with external reality. I spoke to them just before they went into hospital and I could see that what they were saying did not relate to my understanding of reality. But aren’t we saying in the conversation that there is no external reality any way. If that is the case then aren’t we all psychotic if we believe there is? How come there can be degrees of reality? 

I hear a lot in social media about gas lighting. I haven’t experienced it myself I don’t think but every time I hear it mentioned I wonder how can there be such a thing as gas lighting if there is as you say no objective reality. Can you help with this please? 

I’m a member and fan of your subliminals. Great to see how the mind is kept out, and the body still reacts on the hidden messages. I used to be a hypnotherapist and would like to know your opinion on the use of plain Hypnosis (a different technique, as you know, from subliminals). With hypnosis, the brain is not kept out, you actually hear the spoken words. It works as a program on top of another program and I’ve seen with clients that sometimes the ‘old’ unwanted program returns. I wonder whether hypnosis could help people remember who they really are. That it is safe to allow every feeling, every sensation in the body. Even the unwanted ones and the resistance are welcome.”   As I see how much your teachings and my training as a 3 Principles facilitator helped me, I would like to combine this with plain hypnosis to help other people who are desperate for relief. Since you are also a trained hypnotherapist, I would like to hear your opinion. Thank you so much Clare for your dedicated and loving teachings.

I just watched the mental health webinar und I heard something I never heard before. You said: 'All conscious experience is a healing place for us' and you also said that the physical is healed here, too.  Can you say more about that? It's funny because it feels like I never heard this before AND I don't know what you mean, apart from seeing the conditioning, but is this healing? Doesn't feel like. I am sure you have spoken a milllion times about that. 

Do you think identification squelches our unique desires? Example: if I am with a friend and they are talking with enthusiasm and excitement about going on a backpacking trip. Prior to this conversation I didn't have much desire to go on a backpacking trip. Or they want to watch musicals, or they want to try a dance class....etc. Now there's a sudden "I want to to do this!" impulse or urge showing up. Is that a genuine desire? A form of conditioned patterning of a desire that's a form of comparison (they're cool I want to be cool, or they're excited, I want that excitement - must be from the backpacking)? Is this a latent desire that emerges when someone else speaks it? It seems like identification hides desires or puts false ones in place in an attempt to obtain a specific emotional state,thank you!

“Relationships are not meant to be fun”What? Why?How can you say that so confidently?!?When I left my first marriage, I could have said exactly what the listener said in your podcast.I know I did not do my work then as it was all about him and why I couldn’t continue to be in the relationship because of how he was.However we have 3 children and so have stayed in touch and actually have a lovely relationship even though he has not changed in any way that I can see.So I can honestly say I love him, but would not consider living together again.So my question is….If relationships are not meant to be fun, why would one ever consider being in a committed one?Why not just do your ‘work’ with all the relationships in your life and then have a partner just for fun?As usual looking forward to and dreading your answer.

Book  recommendations from Tia: The Body Remembers Volumes 1 and 2 by Babette Rothschild, these really helped me understand the power of adaptation and that even behaviors we judge as "bad" had some type of intelligence for survival, even if they are no longer useful. These are written for therapists/practitioners so some chapters people might skip, however I find the case studies relatable and helpful in understanding why therapists make some of the choices they do.Call of the Wild: How We Heal Trauma, Awaken Our Own Power and Use it For Good by Kimberly Ann Johnson - This gives a clear explanation of nervous system function, somatics and its varied applications. Bodyfulness: by Christine Caldwell - This gives an overview of core concepts with multiple practices to try at the end of each chapter. It's a bit more heady I have a bookshop affiliate page if that's helpful: https://bookshop.org/shop/findingmindfulnowSomatic organizations I recommend in the US:-Lumous Transforms-Strozzi Institute-Generative Somatics-The Embody Lab (they have students from across the globe) - people can look at the list of practitioners from the Integrative Somatic Trauma Therapy Certification for other directions.

In one of the last recordings you said something like:The truth of us…Before the layers of conditioned separation…Before that just life in a form -  intelligence just doing what made sense. So much science is now showing how trauma begins often times before birth. A fetus is taking in so much from the host/mother – all her fears, traumas, etc.  This can even change the DNA and start the process of potential disease that will manifest years later. So, are your initial statements true? If so, when were “we” just intelligence doing what made sense? If trauma, fears, etc were already informing the body/mind system and already stored in the tissues/cells, then was there ever “ just life in a form and intelligence just doing what made sense?”

Wow, I’ve just listened to the shame part of life cycles and to one of the 1-1 recordings on this. This is it, this is everything that has dominated my life, my whole life. I carried shame from a very early age, I cannot remember a time without it.  Shame is all encompassing, every area of my life. The decisions I’ve made/make have been driven by shame. Withdrawal, isolation, working so hard to create the self-image that will hide my shame at all costs. I just feel wrong. The wrong body, the wrong background, the wrong accent, the wrong mother, the wrong partner, the wrong coach. A failure. At 57yrs I have stopped trying to force myself into things. Stopped trying to have a coaching business, due to failures etc.  My desire to heal myself has been longstanding and many qualifications and explorations have really helped. My coaching is both my superpower and my worst nightmare and I give up as the clients do not come. I feel shame. I have a core belief that I can only ever rely on me. I cannot trust others to see me. But at the same time feel guilt and shame for some of the decisions I have made. I am not good enough.When I first started listening to your programs I was intrigued by the non-doer. The way you describe the separation and pain of shame as so removed from reality of who we are is starting to shine a light. As I really have always felt separate, even with the 3P’s understanding, it hasn’t completely dissipated. So, I’m keen to see more. Can you point me to more on your explanation of the non-doer within the membership that I could look at please? Also I have ordered your books, Home and Real, so maybe in there. I haven’t attended the webinars live and I realise now that too is about shame!  I have also noticed where my resistance comes up when I listening to the courses. Something is moving …..

When you see that your problem isn’t realistic, but brings up all kinds of kind created insecurity. How do you get to a place of knowing what ‘the child’ needs? For example, I’m unsure if my job is a good fit. Changing careers brings up feelings of anxiety and insecurity and I try to distract myself. I don’t really get the concept of inner child work. Can someone point me in the right direction?

I have a question for your podcast but not sure of the exact question- it’s something like…The personal development world is filled with ideas, concepts, tools and techniques on how to change your life. To overcome money blocks, lose weight, find love, be successful in business, be visible and popular etc. I see within Personal Development there’s a mix of focussing on personal agency and also focussing on an unknown force sometimes called ‘universal laws’.I remember experiencing tremendous freedom when the realisation that the self I had thought of as me was a creation, made up and that there were infinite possibilities and a limitless nature of being to experience. So why after years and years do the same patterns continue to play out. What truly can change them or are some patterns meant to be our life experience in the same way someone born with no legs isn’t going to grow legs in this lifetime. Are some things set in stone or are all energetic patterns possible to change?What would you say is the secret to changing seemingly set in stone patterns such as never having more than just enough money or always being in intimate relationships that don’t work?

I’ve heard you mention before that when we try to ”redirect attention away from thought” or “back away from thought” that we are kind of missing the point (something like that). I Feel like I’ve been caught in that pursuit for some time now, and I feel like I’m finally seeing something. It seems that when the mind takes on that goal, it then always comes up with an image of an “I” that is failing at the goal. Like the “I” that can never stay focused on the present moment or the “I” that cannot keep its attention away from negative or terrifying thoughts. All the while the intelligence of life is just responding in real time to what is actually happening. Is that kind of what you mean? I would love to hear your thoughts here or in a podcast. much love to you!

My husband & I are separating we still see a counsellor to keep up communication. I see that I love my husband (plutonically), I see he is a good person even though we don't want to be together anymore, I feel there is good will towards him. But the counsellor says that we are still stuck in a blame cycle. I find him too sensitive, emotionally immature, prone to sudden mood changes, he takes everything I say as a criticism. He thinks I critise him, I think ultimately I lost a lot of respect for him over many things that happened over the years & there was a lot of built up anger and resentment (which I think has gone but sometimes still arises). I feel like there is no going back but I still want to see what more I can do for my own learning about myself & for future relationships.  What do you see I could learn? there is obviously judgement of him as I have stated above, how can I look further into to my part? I think we have gone past the point of no return & my feelings have fundamentally changed but I still judge who he is being a lot of the time, how he talks to my daughter, how he reacts to me, his impatience & anger blah blah blah.....

I started listening to your circles material after being introduced to it by my friend Ines. I have the membership so now slowly exploring the other content as well. Ive done years (decades) of meditation and non duality work and been in therapy my whole adult life, yet I feel like I always come back to this reality of my life right here and now. I haven’t been able to figure out exactly the circle I am in - I find myself in a repeating pattern of retraumatisation through work. Every job I take I end up being bullied, undermined and not paid  for fairly for my work as promised. It feels like betrayal, I am very good at my job but there is no recognition or reward. I feel my very survival is threatened because I grew up poor and earning money is my route to safety, self esteem and being able to take care of myself without being dependent on anyone else. I just left an abusive job in New York (was there over 5 years) and moved to London and ended up in an even more dysfunctional and abusive situation than before. Its nuts. Meanwhile I am terrified of looking for another job and I am equally DESPERATE to get out of this place I find myself in. I also find my inner creativity is dried up - for example I used to want to start a business or help the homeless but I can’t act and I feel totally stuck. I have never grown or thrived at work - I have never been successful. When the last cycle of trauma and abuse happened at work it was only 4 months after joining the company from Aug-Dec. I had high hopes for this job - searching for a feeling of engagement and enjoyment at work. It was such a shock to my system to go through the same abuse again that I felt like giving up on life. I have since regained my perspective and been able to detach but something still feels raw inside. I have spent years doing inner child work, feeling feelings facing trauma etc. yet I feel none of it helped otherwise I would not have found myself in this same job / worse abusive situation than before. I am 46 and have been working since I was 22 years old. In addition, I am recognizing from your talk that I have limited my life for safety - I don have a partner nor many friends nor a social life - I work and then scuttle home to be with my dog with whom I feel safe. I think safety is a huge theme but not sure how to deal with it. I am currently working with a counsellor with whom I feel my inner child feelings and face them every two weeks or so. The rest of the time I am trying to be more conscious of triggers but instead find myself doing things like drinking half a bottle of wine or watching mindless telly but not sure what I am escaping from. I am not sure how to identify the circle I am in nor the nub of the issue. And I certainly dont know how to let go of the doer. Despite years of zen meditation and seeing and near finding the self I feel it is very much in charge.

Thank you for the Life Cycles course, so much has come to the surface.I see that Shame and Fear have been running the show all my life. Shame of not being good enough and Fear of what others will think.Coupled with this has been the huge sense of responsibility of getting everything right including agonising over making the ‘right’ decisions.I see that I’ve permanently lived in a state of fight, flight or freeze and that this has attributed to my many health issues.I currently have a health concern and see the usual patterns of behaviour playing out.Having suffered pain in the body in the past I find myself unwilling to ‘go into the body to feel the sensations’ as you would suggest. So I feel stuck.My question is, where do I go from here? 

I went back to listen once again the shame part from our wonderful life circles course.As within this circle the identification with the self as a doer and chooser is really at the highest level.Holding the grip firmly with feeling enormous responsibility for my own words, actions and behaviours.I see it as a self feeding/maintaining circle as when it's set it goes round and round by itself.Until there is an inquiry of who we truly are. Being in this conversation seeing more and more that there isn't ''mini me'' inside my head orchestrating my life. Then shame loosens its grip. More source accountability/ no self accountability is present, more fresh and new information can enter the system and the system can self correct or self align with the truth.So to conclude this long writing with the question. Is the system already designed as an innate auto corrective system? And the only partybreaker here is the confusion and identification with the self as doer, chooser ?

A question about insight. It's often heralded as the "all that's needed" and sort of a reward for good behaviour in the form of a quiet mind. (3ps. And yet it seems to me to be one facet of healing.  Almost as though as layers of thought are lifted from reality we may arrive at some insight which is more like "seeing eeper into truth". Would you speak of nsight and healing please? Perhaps you have a podcast on this already? 

I heard Clare say that the self is the experience in the moment. So any idea of self can come up at anytime.I struggle to see the concept of no self. Is there anyone who can help me see more about this?I’ve listened to Safe and part of Home and it’s as though I just don’t understand the language around no self.I also don’t get how to relate to any thoughts that start with ‘I’. How to tell if it’s coming from your true self or the co conditioned self.

A brief summary of this episode

Lately, I’ve noticed that when I have a pain or a discomfort in my body, my instant reaction is “Oh my God!  You’re going to die,” and then I incessantly search the Internet to find every possible cause of my bodily sensation.  And as is typical, I get really overwhelmed, I can’t face the overwhelm so I lie down and just let it pass, and it typically does. When I saw this particular subliminal I thought it might help with all this.  And don’t get me wrong Clare, I feel humbled and grateful just to be alive.  I feel like a walking miracle.  Overall, I’ve never felt so resilient and so connected with my true nature.  And sure, there’s a part of me that was hoping the subliminal would fix this aspect of me OR at least help.  Clearly there is still a part of my brain that is overreacting to and sensitive to odd bodily sensations. So I guess my question is, “Do you think the subliminal can help with this?”

I have signed up for your membership programme and am finding it very insightful.I feel like I get it more and more, having those 'i see of course thats whats going on in truth' but still every day is some form of torture - anxiety, shame, trigger after trigger after trigger.I have seen a repeating pattern in my life struggle to find some peace and knew that the one constant fact in that was me, as I take myself with me for safe keeping everywhere I go. I knew the problem wasn't out there.The life circles course feels like it was written for me about me,  almost as soon as I would have a thought about what's going g on in me, you would then say that exact thing or feeling. Spooky really.Intellectual understanding doesn't result freedom, its a start I know, but whatever source of healing I have tried  I always end up with the feeling that the self is just using it as another means of escape from its suffering which enlightens noone.I was particularly impacted by the reference in this course to the triggers are from conditioned response to past trauma and it was such a relief to hear those words because it was a hell yes moment. You went on to say we  need to parent and heal this traumatised child which sounds right. My question  is who is doing  the parenting or healing, if there is no healer or parenter why isn't healing or parenting just happening following that insight.  

The circles are great! So much amazing insights. I do not want to feel abandoned so I go into relationships (just to have one with whoever shows a bit of interest in me) which make me even feel more abandoned (because it is more important to be in a relationship for me to feel secure than to really feel close and connected to that man). And at the same time while being in that relationship  I neglect my long time friends because it is all about the boyfriend suddenly which makes me feel abandoned now by them. And I abandon myself because I do everything the boyfriend wants. It is really mind-blowing! 

You refer toparentimng the child.  For years,  I have used inner child healing  in hypnotherapy with my clients. I also use parts therapy to facilitate understanding, acceptance and integration of problem behaviours (parts)  into the whole, Havening to offer comfort and reassure as difficult or traumatic situations are considered, EMDR to release unprocessed trauma, EFT and matrix reimprinting and mindfulness to turn towards the sensations and thoughts that create difficulty from a place of observation. Are these all legitimate healing methods and how does their emphasis change if used in a non-dual context? I can see without guidance how easy it would be to revert to the old conditioned appearance  of a separate me being healed within a world of separate others and a separate world just because of the normal context within which all these healing techniques are traditionally employed.  Any further light you can shed here would be so helpful, Clare.  Thank you so much 

I see there is no chooser and obviously accountability is vital. There’s still a gap between them – who is being accountable, how can I be more accountable if I can’t even choose to be, etc. I would appreciate you saying more about how the no chooser and accountability sit together and any examples from your experience.

I was listening to your podcast about subliminal (a listener wanting a refund because it seems not working). You said that it is always working but it might be that the topic is already obvious and therefore it seems not to work or it is too challenging for the system. I get that but my brain is now wondering, if a subliminal is working which is so subtle and I do not even know what is spoken, what about the music I listen to all day (the cheasy pop songs) at home while working. Do they also influence my system? There are not something I choose but the usual pop songs the radio is playing, so they are all about not having love, loosing love, wanting love, longing for somebody one cannot have anymore, etc. What are your thoughts about that? Is it because the subliminals are unconscious that they go deep and the pop songs don’t? Or do they, and that is why I am always in that longing?

1. You talked yesterday (and often) about ‘bodywork’ as a way to allow the body to truly feel feelings. What is bodywork? Can you give us some examples and why you recommend?2. I hear you talk about the absolute, the relative and the illusory. Can you remind me what these terms mean? I have it in my head that the absolute is the infinite/mind. The illusory is our constantly changing experience of form via the medium of thought. But then there this in-betweeny thing of the relative that is neither and the body, I’ve heard you say, sits in that category, and the body you talk of as ‘real’. I’m not sure why the body doesn’t also fall under the category of the illusory and gets its own category as it is also form. Confused…-- 

My fiancée broke up with me last month because he felt he was too young to settle down. I was and still am devastated. I think of him all the time and would do anything to get back with him. At the same time I hate him for what he has done to me. He is very clear that we won’t get back together but he wants us to be friends. He says if I really loved him I would still want to see and speak and spend time with him. I can’t imagine just being friends with him and especially not being out in a bar with him when he is with someone else say. I wanted him to be my husband. Should I be friends with him? Or should I cut him out of my life? 

Do you listen to subliminal's yourself and are they with your voice?Do you think that if someone we did not know and trust as we do you made a subliminal with the exact wording you used It would have the same effect or would your familiar loving voice make a difference to how the subliminal is received?

My subliminal isn't working: client question

Just listened to the recording from the Life Circles course on Shame.I see it so clearly in myself and many of the clients I work with and my question is: is it possible that instead of hiding out one puts on the mask of success, becomes very public around the shame issue?For example: (and I may as well be transparent here 😉) my shame says that I am ugly  ( to use one of your examples), but instead of hiding out in that shame and going into hiding, playing small, minimizing,  I do everything I can to never allow anyone to know that – become a personal trainer/workout coach, run a Wellness Center where nutrition, mindfulness, fasting programs are taught, learn tips and tricks for aging around skin care, style, etc. Underneath all of that though I see a belief that I am ugly, fat, do not have an attractive body/appearance.Thanks for your time and for your dedication to this Work – it is setting us Free.

Today I watched day 22 life cycle video. I love all the courses you do, but  ‘life circles’ has been excellent … thank you 🙏 I know I have heard you talk about shame before several times, but today I REALLY HEARD it.As I listened to you, It felt like I was suddenly being pounded by golf ball sized hail stones! Followed by feeling of heaviness deep within my belly.I have experienced much dissolution of some heavy stuff since we worked together on Reset last year. Recently though there has been an increasing intensity of ‘nudgings’ so obvious that there’s still more to be seen.Could it be that the encrusted,deeper layers are actually revealing a lifetime of a spider’s web of shame, that hasn’t been available to be even noticed by an unstable fragile system. Almost like the genius of the mind-body system was in protection mode until it was really ready? Its like there has been exhumation of some sort today! It feels uncomfortable but comfortable in a strange way.Does this make any sort of sense ? 

For this system here it makes sense that there is no doer, it’s not that I‘m aware of it all the time but when I remember it’s obvious. Source accountability is not understandable, what is accountable and what has this body mind system to do with that?

So Good They Can't Ignore You by Cal Newport: Sunday Book 

A fellow participant in the Circles course posted an exploration and noted this statement: "If the system believed that the Awareness that I AM is prior to the ideas of threat and safety, then ALL experience would be welcome."This sounds like passivity, as though if someone were to physically attack us we would welcome the attack experience, rather than the body moving out of danger or fighting back. Can you speak more if this is a paradox that "resistance" doesn't mean defending the body from harm?thank you!

I’ve just listened to this podcast (18 January) three times.What arose was…Does this mean that doing, words and action are much the same as thoughts in that they simply emerge?

Non-duality goes on about how our unreal ego suffers in its experience of life.  Yes, it does...but not always.  There is so much of my life (AND my ego, I blush to say) that I love, even when it's felt as separation: often precisely BECAUSE of separation (hugging myself with glee for being me!!) - although obviously at other times being me is experienced as the bottom-most pit of hell, fair dos.  So how does non-duality see those of our positive experiences of apparent separation that we can't help but cling to and love?  I think I hear you saying that's just me trying to secure my identity, and involvement of my ego means I'm not loving or seeing these things "clean".  But even if I am but looking through a glass darkly, it's a wonderful picture I'm seeing a lot of the time, which somehow feels all the more wonderful because I'M in it.My 97 year old mother, who has dementia maybe said it best when she suddenly piped up the other week "nobody wants to die, do they, because God made the world so pretty". Yes, it's that feeling that often it's so brilliant surfing the wave of the illusory world, you just don't want to sink back into the ocean, no matter how much more real it is, thank you very much.

A brief summary of this episode

A brief summary of this episode