I've scribbled pages so far, I'm not done, this is what I have, still a bit fuzzy, help me out or pull me back from the brink.  .... and thanks Clare.  All my problems have the same base; not good enough, not smart enough, lacking in some way or another.  All are formless - ideas and thoughts floating around in my head.   My bio-computer brain believes the story it's telling itself and looks out into this world of form to see what others do to be happy.  I give it a go.  Alcohol, drugs, sex, becoming successful, acquiring the right material goods, getting my body into the best shape, being unique, having an interesting story .... eventually it all fails.  I give up and just look forward to having enough money, health and maybe companionship until I depart this miserable world.  (fuzzy part) No matter how many times I throw myself down the stairs I’m always pulled upright and given a do-over.  In all spiritual studies I have been led to there is talk of separation of who we really are and what we believe we are. I’ve come to some awareness of this.  I realize the self I call ‘david’ is a story, created around experiences, influenced by others, given meaning, value, and believed to be real & true.  (very fuzzy part) Through  these exercises I’m seeing practical solutions to my problems in the world of form.  But how do I convince myself I’m just a story, I’m just awareness showing up in this body-form, there really isn’t any separation only a misunderstanding I forgot to laugh at.  

Since 2 years I came across the principes and since then I have read dozens of books and listened to so many podcasts. I dit different courses and nothing seems to bring me insights that change things for me. At the same time, I feel distracted while reading/listening and that brings comfort. But as soon as I close the book, I’m in my thinking again. And I find it hard that I’m not present to being in life with my family, and closing myself off trying to find relief in reading/listening. Reading about non-duality scares me. The idea that you can’t choose what you think and you have no control whatsoever frightens me, because why can’t I feel love, peacefulness and joy if that’s my nature? Why all these negative thoughts?I’m very aware of the ticker tape of negative thinking playing in my mind. I thought I’d share, because I feel stuck.- I I’ll never feel good again.- Nothings is wrong in my life, what if something happens with my husband/parents. I won’t be able to cope.- What will I do when I’m free tomorrow.- I wake up early and I don’t feel like eating, I’m in my flight or flight response, I can’t think myself out of it, but I can’t stop these thoughts.- Is it hormonal? Should I try hormonal patches?- Do I have to get a diagnosis for ADD? Would ADD meds help? (My son was diagnosed last year and I have always recognized myself in the symptoms).- I spend my days reading/listening about the principles in the hope I will see something different, but I don’t have a sense of a deeper feeling or awareness. I know I should have other interests, but I can’t stay away from it.- If I don’t feel better, how can I ever get a different job with more responsibilities. - What if it gets worse and I cannot cope?- I wish I had more friends.- All this taking in information may be the reason my head feels fussy, but what can I do to fill my days? I feel bored at work and at home, how can I find my joy? etc. It’s exhausting and I don’t know how to relate differently to all that thinking. I’ve started the Circles course and my anxiety is revving up, because you say so clearly that there’s no hope to ever feel better if you can’t see past the illusion of a separate self. But in all the reading I did, I can’t see it. I wonder if this is the right course or what else I can do. Any advice is appreciated.

I have so many people, family, friends, clients suddenly showing up projecting abandonment on to someone or something. I know this is "my" stuff. I'm doing the Ho Ho as they appear.  And I've been wanting to ask you for ages now and it seems the right time. How much work do I do for clients/ children "others"   is Ho Ho enough?  What is enough or When is it "done" ?  I sort of feel that this is a silly question but can you say something to this please?

I just got off our first zoom call of the program and it prompted a question.  You suggested going into the areas that seem most risky to the self.  I do this all the time.  It results in continued panic and panic attacks.  I feel like I'm being re-traumatized over and over and it's been going on for years.  My brain seems chrystialized in this pattern. Is it possible for something new to be seen and have this fall away?  Or maybe it will happen and that's no big deal.  I feel like going into the risky area of my life is not even a choice, it's as if I have a gun to my head.  I don't even know where to begin to try to heal this through the body.  Resisting is happening and I can't control that.  Thanks Clare,   I loved seeing your beautiful face today and listening to your words.

I HAVE had one thing that so far has NOT made sense to me. Perhaps you want to share in a podcast about it, or share in another way.It sounds to me like you say that NO healing happens until we stay with something, NO healing happens if we distract.That’s not been my experience, though it is clearly my experience that much healing has not happened for that reason. But I don’t see it 100%. I spent an entire winter watching marvel movies and experienced tremendous healing. It was the best thing I could have done (in the absence of Clare!)I have had profound shifts just in the joy of living, in dance, in walks in the woods, in distraction, full presence with a client, or with a bite of delicious food!And my understanding of the brain is that healing and shifts in one area extends to other areas that aren’t being used, and that the resistance of habitual neural pathways starts to return when left alone. I read an amazing book, somewhat separate look at it, at how people who can’t hear, come to actually hear through touch, etc. The system is brilliant and has work-arounds that infiltrate the lapses.Which is not to negate at all that’s happening here.  This has been earth shattering in its truth for me.But the idea that something can’t heal without direct attention… To me, the only reasons this perhaps subtle discrepancy seems relevant, is 1) because the silence of the mind, the peace that Syd pointed to (from whatever crutch we may use - a walk in the woods etc) has been tremendously healing for me, and 2) because 100% dependence on our attention flies in the face of my reverence for the miraculous unfolding of life.Perhaps this is semantics. But it has been popping up for me! That said, it has been 100% clear to me that running away from experience has also been happening, and I feel graced beyond measure that that is happening less and less thanks to what you are sharing with us!

A brief summary of this episode

A brief summary of this episode

"Stress is a feeling, and like all feelings, it comes only and always from our innocent misuse of the gift of Thought." I just read this from a 3P teacher. A couple of years ago I'd have said 100% yes. But interestingly it really jarred when I read it. Over simplification, spiritual bypass came to mind.

I often wonder if my 'problem' is the feeling like i'm broken and need fixing and all the solutions i have in seeking to 'fix' that e.g even being here and doing these courses ... do they actually somehow feed my problem. 

Hi  from India  ...so happy to find ur game book in Kindle n then later found this blog.  I was in the path of wisdom and devotion for few years...I go Tiruvannamalai every week as I live close by in a place called pondicherry...u made it very clear and simple ...it just resonated only from ur words even though u read loads of scriptures....there is no personal self ,u made it clear ...the moment it got cleared there is no more question if apparent reality or forms and it's mechanisms...But still m just curious ...this is my fav question ..what's your opinion on apparent forms ...is it more like a virtual reality.  How this universal self becomes personal self ...and what is these bodies or images on the screen ...how it came. ...

if there is a lingering question it is related to this sentence;"Or, as I suspect, that as our understanding changes, so do the questions and the requests they are showing up with? Because they are ARE us. And simple giving and receiving happens.”How is it possible for the questions and requests to change from one day to another simply as our understanding changes?Say a therapist….. just because their understanding shifts, there will still be clients to be seen who had made their appointments prior to the shift in understanding (of the therapist) Same client, same concern, what is different as a result of a shift in understanding?Is it that the way the concern is heard/addressed by the therapist that changes due to the shift in understanding?If so, fantastic, I get it.If not, I have no idea what you are talking about, and please help!

if you’re into the 3p, you hard towards ease and flow, we do what our superpower makes us uniquely brilliant at, the easiest way to earn a living. If you’re into Clare, we navigate towards the areas of greatest difficulty and suffering. The hardest way to earn our living, but serves up the only way to know ourselves more deeply….which way to go?Assuming chooser and choices which in theory there are none but doesnt yet look like truth to me yet.And any area of our lives. It’s like you draw that coaching wheel of life and say ‘how can I get these areas closer to a one…?’

I wonder if you could talk a little about how your experience with NLP and hypnosis informs your work and the way you communicate with clients?Am I asking if I'm being hypnotised? Yes 😊You have full permission to do so of course (as per your podcast yesterday which I loved)Sometimes I listen to/watch your patterns of speech/gestures and I wonder if there are techniques that come from your background in these areas? I'm not a coach so I know nothing about these things. I'd imagine it's a huge question and you'll be utilising a vast array of skills but I wonder if it's possible to provide a bit of insight on these areas in particular?Perhaps you're just speaking really clearly from truth. What you say resonates and impacts behaviour simply because its true and its known on some level so it makes sense to the system to respond. Perhaps there's no difference between the two things I've just said. The longer I type the less sense the question makes. This is happening to me a LOT right now!Tia and I were joking the other day about paying you to brainwash us, which we kind of are!My brain needs a good wash anyway.... it's filthy and I can hardly see through it at times 😊

If you want to see Lottie 'the colleague' I'm referring to - she is here!https://www.dropbox.com/s/1w0h9nt3grg41do/Happy%20New%20Year.mp4?dl=0

I have really been struggling with my mh for the past yr.I think looking back it started with the pandemic, I had Covid & was quite unwell, from then on I experienced a large accumulation of very sad losses , several deaths , relationship breakup , empty nest son leaving for uni , Menapause,it all took a hold.Unfortunately my job came to an end, as I was unable to present for work. I am now in receipt of UC , so on limited income.My overall well-being is not good , personal care is limited as I have no motivation, I feel no purpose or place any more .Please can you help me, I am in such a dark pit, begging for help Please .

I spent Christmas on my own because I have broken up with my partner am estranged from my family. I don’t have anywhere to go for New Year either. I do have some friends but they live on the other side of the country and I’m too embarrassed to ask them . I am just so lonely. So fed up of being on my own. It is a deep pain to me to see groups of people laughing together and having fun. How can I create close relationships and stop this feeling of being on my own all the time. 

Have listened twice. Will need to listen a few more times I think...but a follow up question:So if we are showing up with our clients who are asking us to create a six-figure business strategy with them so that they can prove to their parents that they can or so that THEN they can relax, or showing up to our kids who are asking us for more social media time so that they can show off how many snaps or toks they have (or whatever the cool kids do) - do we somehow need to first educate them about this separate secure-seeking self-thing so they are not asking for such ego-securing things from us? Here, however, I guess, we might notice there IS either a) obvious suffering in this interaction, or b) the sneaky "sigh, if only they were as enlightened as me" and then the natural suffering brought on by trying to 'educate' them LOLs. So this suffering indicates this is still a 'dirty one' and so brilliant - a chance to explore more deeply.Or, as I suspect, that as our understanding changes, so do the questions and the requests they are showing up with? Because they are ARE us. And simple giving and receiving happens.How cool if THAT is your answer:)Because then we get to show up with clients/kids and EVERY interaction is a gift so there really is nothing to lose through full engagement with it ALL.

This conversation makes total sense but my question is what do we do about the world of form? What place is there for business planning? Or holidays? Or running courses? If there is no doer and no decider and everything that is thought is not fixed, constant or based on objective truth (agree) - then are we all left with nothing to do except share non-duality teachings with each other? What about planning how to build an aeroplane? Or deciding what to do about the war in Ukraine? If we're only ever in relationship with ourselves then....But then, am I correct in thinking, where there is suffering and resistance around creating a business plan, dealing with our children or dealing with the war in Ukraine, there is nothing to be done here except first self-enquiry. To engage with the 'problems' in order to see truth more deeply. And then, hopefully, once seen, the business plan creation or the war in ukraine either no longer appears to be happening or required or there's just simple information I'm feeling like I'm "not allowed' to run business coaching days or programs to support parents with teens  until I pass some kind of enlightenment test. And that when I pass the test, that work won't be required.But I don't WANT to be a non-duality teacher and that be the only thing that can be taught as it is the only truthful thing to teach LOLs.

I recently saw a quote from you along the lines of 'Everything that is not here and now is imagination, categorically'. This is something I've been very very keen to impart to my followers. Can you say something more about this?

One of the things I admire most about you, Clare, is your utter uncompromising integrity. You tell it how it is no matter what, even if it's not what I want to hear. ESPECIALLY when it's not what I want to hear. How does this truth, this honesty look and feel for your, and why do you think this is SO important.

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It looks to me like we are using the same word “I” for 2 different experiences;There seems to be the Big I who is not identified in as the doer/controller and takes into account both the conscious and sub-conscious mind and then there is the little i  that is totally identified in as the separate self. Am I seeing this correctly?If so, would it not be so much easier to use different words for the entire “I” (I) and the smaller conscious part of “I” (i)? It seems that every time I use the word “!” To describe my identified self (i) I re-enforce the misconception about who I really am.When I try to imagine how this would work in practice, I think it will be helpful for me to simply ask myself when I use the word (I?i) which one I mean.

And now I recall another thing I would love to hear you speak about again, and that is "separation". What is it, when you use this word what do you really mean? What is not separated from what. I think I know mostly but I remember months ago when you spoke about it I saw something new (but I do not quite remember). And I love that you all the time find new ways of explaining things. 

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I’m finishing up the year the way I began it by going through the HOME course. It’s so nice of you to have updated the course with words that now make it so very much more relatable. (Joke) I’m amazed at how much more depth of resonance there is with this course and with the subliminals. I’m deeply grateful. A question comes to mind. It’s hard to express but I guess the essence of it is, does consciousness in form need an “I” to experience life in form? Is that why it bubbles up?I know there are people who write or speak about having had a major shift and declare the “I” totally gone or perhaps have a pervasive awareness of the illusory nature of the “I.” It seems to me for each being in form there is a body/mind system running the daily activities of, if you will, the tube. I get that consciousness or whatever perceives all, creates all, is all.Yet, it seems curious to me that beings in form as part of their design develop personalities which include an I. This uniqueness gives rise to unique expression, unique creativity, reactivity, etc. If it’s part of the design of us all, it must be some aspect of truth. Does consciousness in form “need” this to experience duality/form? And yet there’s a pull back to consciousness without it. This both/and-not have my poor brain in a spin. My heart is fine with it all. Would you share how you see this?

Hi dear Clare!I would love that you speak something about the balance between two things; to see the thing in myself that I see in another ("see the narcissist in me" from your recent podcast) and the thing that we are also influenced by others. I really like that you speak about seeing the same things in ourselves. For me there is a healthy humility that comes from this. But also at the same time see that we are influenced by one another and not bypass our own feelings and accept things from others that are not ok. So I guess I look for some kind of healthy understanding and balance of two important things at the same time😄.You have spoken of this before, I guess I just wanted repetition. 

In a call with someone else, I don't remember who, you said 'it's bliss if it's just about the other', which I thought you can say about anything, like just about the form, just about the thing. Can you say more about that, maybe in a podcast

The Complete Book of Awakening. Interview with authors Helen Amery and Sara Priestley. https://thoughtfulraven.co.ukHelen Amery  I guide others in their awakening and enlightenment. After my own journey through corporate HR, then psychology-based coaching, I realised there was something more fundamental going on. It opened the door to something I never thought I'd have in my life - a spiritual understanding. It led me to the recognition of who I really am - who we all really are - awakening. And to how we can experience life in a much easier, more light-hearted way - enlightenment. My passion now is to bring that to more people with a practical, 'normal' person approach.  Sara Priestley  Sara had a career in corporate IT before leaving to become a massage therapist and then Pilates teacher. These reinforced for her the inward path of knowing who we are for ourselves, which led her to The Three Principles and then into nonduality. She now hangs out with her little cat colony, drinks a lot of coffee, helps clients solve life problems, supports people who have been hurt by cult-like groups, hosts her local poetry society’s online gatherings, reads, writes, teaches nonduality, serves on the board of the Association for Spiritual Integrity, explores emerging voices in this field, and plays with this expanded understanding of who we are and how it shows up. 

Hoʻoponopono practice

Maybe you've already spoken to my question: thoughts are not reality, humans use thoughts to make up concepts, so to speak. Then howcome bypassing is a "thing" to take seriously? Isn't it just another concept? And bypassing / not bypassing becomes irrelevant as there is no bypassing or anything to bypass regardless? 

Somewhere in between since i got to your teaching I got very angry thinking: Why it's always has to be on us to do the work. To explore out inside and what's true and to sit with discomfort.And others can walk around without any responsibility/acccountablity doing crazy things and being dick heads.How do we know when this work is done, that we enquiry something as much as we could....and then the  jobs are left, relationships are ending, unspoken words get voiced...etc.Also at the same time not falling for a trap that's prolonging our circumstances in a way: I'm learning this reality thing so I should get my shit together. You always openly shared with us your divorce story. How did you know it was time to leave?

I've been noticing how challenging it is for the attention to stay with sensations. I revisited your Change course from last year (see attached diagram) where you indicated that physical sensations are intolerable as they confirm the story of self.In the experience over here it feels more like resistance confirms the story, not the feeling of the sensations. The sensations are transitory and reveal flow and change as constants. *Not feeling them* seems to hold the idea of separation in place. Maybe this is what you meant and I'm interpreting this upside down or something. 

It seems the longer I am working with you the less I can make meaning of what you and other reset people are saying. I see your mouths moving and I know you are speaking English but I cannot understand. is that normal?

Clare, the WANT course was absolutely wonderful. I don’t know how you manage to record in advance a video that addresses a question or concern of mine each morning that I listen. Just wonderful! Totally mind-blowing!Throughout this year taking your courses so much has become clear. The suffering, the new information, and the logic of it all has resulted in major shifts.I came to your work to learn more about nonduality. But really with the ulterior motive of fixing/curing/solving a lifelong muddle of body/food/weight. What has shifted deeply is the knowing and respecting the logic and wisdom of the body. Shame and guilt and layers upon layers of innocent misperceptions and concepts have collapsed. Compassion and love flows through.But what I want to ask about is a bit that remains. While there is contentment in the moment as is, just as it all is, a part still wants to wear a smaller size jeans. In searching within and journaling and sitting with it, this want remains. It feels like this want is not to secure or stabilize or compensate for some wound. Or if so just the tiniest bit.Throughout this course we’ve talked about clean and dirty wants. I’m wondering for beings in form if these distinctions as metaphors describe opposite ends of a continuum? Can a want be clean-ish?It’s all just conceptual labels, but I’m curious if wants that come bubbling up like this from the body/mind system steeped in the culture, if a seemingly frivolous want (a judgement from the same body/mind that produced it) like this could be clean or clean-ish? Thank you so much for a transformative year!

My brother contacted me today. We've not spoken in years. When you asked if there were any things unresolved from our past, this is it. This, and my relationship with my Mam. All tied up in a lot of pain from the past. His messages really hit me. Aside from all the specifics of the stories involved in this, what I noticed was an immediate need to reach out. To a friend I have sought closeness with these past few years, to the group, to you. I wondered what can be seen in this. In some ways it seems a natural response. Connection. That's good for the system... a no brainer? At the same time, there seems a running away in it. Making it into something I can use to connect me to others. Get that strangely vibrant feeling that you feel when relationships deepen over shared pain. I'm not questioning whether I did the right thing or not. I know it's all exactly as it should be but it's clearly an opportunity for healing and so I'd like to be as open as I can be to whatever can be learned 

What really confuses me is I feel like I am owning all of these “feelings” I have every day, every waking hour of my life. How do we let go, come home, and be home? I wake up, my MIND immediately goes to my teeth, (When I lost everything ($$) with the cancers, I had to stop going to the dentist and now I am embarrassed because every piece of food must be cut up, several teeth are missing, and I haven’t felt comfortable to smile for several years now. I feel horrible about myself. My dad used to tell me my smile lit up my face. I feel really stupid telling you this. I can give you many other direct feelings and if I cut to the chase, I am miserable. I feel like I have never really been myself and am always trying to “let go”. I have no other explanation for why I feel this way day after day after day and haven’t been able to shake it off. I have mentioned my  boys. They are 14 and I want to be a better example for them. Nothing in my relationship has been anywhere close to being full of love. I can give you a long explanation and it would make sense, BUT it still doesn’t change the fact that I feel like a loser in their eyes. I am sure they can sense my unrest and negativity. I do. No more excuses, reasons, and examples. Why won’t my GOD help me? How do I get home? What am I missing? I know there is no “I” intellectually, and yet I so desperately want to “let go”, “be”, just feel good. Like I am making a difference. I am so sick of being miserable. I hate it. I want off the ledge and I have no idea how to just be, let go. Is life supposed to be this way? Amy Johnson asked me if everything was fixed, my home was paid for, my teeth were fixed, I have “LOVE”, I am loving my daily existence (Work, since I still have to. I’m feeling trapped with no one to take care of me if I fall.), my boys and I were closer, would it make a difference, and would I be happy? I’m not sure. Maybe GOD put me on this earth to be miserable. To suffer! I am so tired, Clare. I try to let go, and I am still miserable. 

This thought came to mind today Clare, please will you create one of your beautiful podcasts around it…Find the narcissist in you. 💭 

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I wonder if I could ask a question about triggers, and if I trigger is always a trigger. What I mean by that is when you feel unheard by someone else, or not free to say how you feel, is that always your wounding that is being triggered? How do we know when it is our wounding or them overstepping our boundaries and doing/saying things that are not ok? How do we know the difference and how do we know how to navigate a situation like that? I realise I am asking a lot of how’s, and I feel like the response will be that actions will be taken one way or the other, and I agree with that to some extent, but I also feel like sometimes that can be a way of avoiding doing what needs to be done or facing what needs to be faced.Thoughts?

A brief summary of this episode

A brief summary of this episode

What about the things we want and don't want at the same time for example a dear friend of mine has said they are in love with me. They want a romantic relationship with me. I don't want that but I don't want to lose them as a friend. How do we navigate that?

I’ve read your book, ‘It’s Not You…It’s Not Me’ and found that incredibly illuminating and comforting, so thank you 🙏🏽🙂Your YouTube video on ‘Readiness’ also just appeared on my feed as I was struck by how you describe sitting with uncomfortable feelings such as loss for example. I believe I understand about not numbing. I have spent quite a number of hours on several occasions over the last 6 weeks intuitively‘sitting with the uncomfortable feelings’ arising from ending a relationship. It’s not easy and whilst I know there is no time limit on ‘grieving’ I do struggle to be with this stuff. I suppose I’m wanting to clarify if I’m understanding what you’re pointing to - is it possible for you to expand on this please? 

Im still a little unclear on something. I have somehow come to conclusion that there is unexpressed emotion in the system. Other therapies call it shadow work..those feelings that werent ok to feel during childhood such as anger and sadness. This unwillingness to feel (albeit unconcsious) can later lead to anxiety and suffering as we struggle to keep the lid on those unacceptable emotions in our adult life. Isnt that the resistence you so often talk about? Am I making this up?! So when I asked about childbirth anxiety , I wondered if its just the feeling of anxiety / feelings that the system is trying to feel and express, that then gets hooked onto birth ..the mind always needs a reason after all!  

As my first year of being a part of your membership is coming to an end, I would like to say a huge THANK YOU for everything you shared with us. Pointing us to the direction of inquiry of who we truly are.This journey wasn't pleasant at all, but it worked and generated new patterns and behaviours of which I never even dare to dream about. Now I'm facing things in my life which I avoided for decades.Observing ''identified self'' it seems that things that most piss us off, press our buttons, irritate us are indicators/directions where to look and uncover what's really beneath that?Could you say some words about this, please?

[Note from Clare: the description of 'Clare's way' in the question is not what I am suggesting in anyway] Isn't suffering simply thought - a temporary blip of energy passing through experience, in this moment upset-flavoured. And then that energy being felt in the senses (ie body). How can you HEAL a blip of energy? It seems you have the choice of 1. Clare's Way - sit and really let it be here as much as possible to allow for healing and use that same thinking to find a story to explain the suffering - usually based in the past. Say that equals 3 hours of upset a day due to dwelling on the low mood/feeling of rejection etc or 2. Three Principles - know from the feeling that you're in a low state of mind so everything  you're thinking right now is complete bullshit and ignore yourself for a bit. Not spiritual bypassing - there simply isn't anything 'real' here to bypass. Probably equals 1 hour of suffering a day due to no story-telling/dwelling.You often say 'but the suffering continues so we have no choice but to look at it' but it's going to either way so WHY YOURS?

I am a nurse in an intensive care unit in a big hospital. Several colleagues have been signed off work with stress. There are not enough of us on the ward but recruitment isn’t happening. The pressure is immense. I am so tired. I am starting to make silly errors that I would not normally ever make. I am worried I will cause harm. I am getting more and more frustrated and resentful about being put in this position. How can a conversation about reality help this? Please don’t tell me this is just my thinking. 

Clare Dimond this is amazing. Thanks so much for putting it into words so clearly. Im thinking of my clients who have huge anxiety about childbirth. They arent pregnant even but so fearful. Are you saying that this fear and anxiety is something thats in their system from childhood wounds and theyve just hooked it onto birth? Like it could have been anyhing? Its just a portal to feel and sit with anxiety that needs to be felt?