What is your view on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications. Do they have a role in this conversation. Can they help understanding or do they make it harder? 

And today I saw why cutting people off  was/is such a hobby for me. I wanna cut them firstly and with that dissarm them so they can't leave me.Less painful if I leave them, than to be left by others.Only inteligence is capable to make such a creative defense.It is made from the same media ...conditioning & healing... wow :)

Just doing the weekend cleaning and listening to your today's podcast :)In the Life navigation suffering sensing can be much more accurate align to reality than running after good, plesant feelings?As a game of guessing (Cold-warm) we played as children.When we got closer to guessing what it is, someone said warm and we follow that direction.

Say we get rejected. Is it the belief that they shouldn’t have rejected us that causes the suffering or is there more to it

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Everywhere I go I see news or listen in car to radio it’s all about war it utterly terrified me I can’t sleepI feel I’ll terrified of bangs and planes please please can you help to tell me how to stop negative thoughts

I have a question arising from your comment about how even saying I love you can be seen as an act of war, or separation.  My husband says I love you more often than I think is needed, or more so as a thing to say in life’s busyness, and I hear it as just words that I feel required to say back.  I do love husband and I know he loves me but this habit of saying it bothers me.  I feel forced to say it back when really I shouldn’t have an issue because I do love him.What is going on here?  How can I resolve this for my own body/mind without telling him to stop saying I love you so much which seems ridiculous.  You mentioned that it just takes one person in a relationship to shift so I am guessing it is my sense of separation that makes me unable to see his loving words as just words and say them back without the annoyance that I try to hide.  Many thanks for all you have pointed me towards.

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There are constant books, so called spiritual teachers whatever that means, endless amount of courses to attend, therapist, psychologist, psychotherapist who themselves haven’t had an awakening, yet share their ideas and views from past trauma.So the question is ‘What is a wakening?’ Do we wake up one morning, walk outside and blend into nature x

It seems I’ve been struck down with chronic fatigue, fatigue syndrome, which is laying me out flat, quite literally on a daily basis. Of course, it is frightening and somewhat disabling and I just don’t know how to be with it on a day-to-day basis. At times, I’m tempted just to push through as it were and try and go about my day with a ‘chin up‘ attitude. Yea there are the days I feel I just can’t get out of bed and it seems my world is crashing in all around me. I just wondered if you had any wisdom or learning on this dreadful & perplexing condition and how one ought to really hold oneself within this whirlwind that appears to have got me stuck fast.

I recently caught up with your 5 days video series. In one of the videos, you talked about how some people say ‘The I doesn’t exist’ or ‘I don’t exist’ – and then you said something like: ‘That’s not true you do exist.’ My mind’s voice went ‘I exist!’ as if this was amazing, new news. Then it went into confusion – logically I know I exist in that I’m here and the ‘I’ that I usually experience doesn’t really exist, it’s a load of beliefs, thinking, feelings that isn’t an entity but can you say more about this for the mind and to help have a sense of what/who exists and how we can ground this?  Thank you. 

For the last forty-five years, the thought of ending my life has passed through my mind at least twice a week.It started when I was seven, attempted aged seventeen, and after that hanging myself is constantly in my thoughts.I’ve worked with a psychologist psychotherapist, and tantric teachers, I’ve explored somatic experiences, and brain therapy through shifting mindset, I’ve been doing Ashtanga yoga for ten years five days a week, been doing vipassana meditation for twenty years. I have wonderful friends, and lovely large family members around the world, I’ve had great intimate relationships, I have a business that surrounds me with female clients all day, I listen to you all the time, and yet here I am with the same thoughts of hanging myself. I’m currently on a mission to figure out the thought patterns, the emotions and anything else that arises.I’m not crying out for help or trying to attract attention. I’m still here breathing in love towards myself and constantly surrounding myself with positive people. I’m not searching on that level, just being at the present moment when the feeling arises to hang myself.Can you suggest something that may guide me a little further into the unknown I love listening to your podcast and all the questions others have asked.

I was listening to your  podcast the other day and something you said around 'no truth in what the mind is projecting',  made me think, maybe that's not true?!  My mind projects something and it seems to come true time after time.  Can you say a little about this?

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I am in a relationship in which I am suffering. should I stay in it to ‘get the gifts’ as you say or should I get out? 

why look at the mechanics of how life works. Why can’t we listen to more of how to be in the world rather than look at how the mechanics of our own system works.  

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Can you talk about trust and decision how do I make decisions in work and in relationships if there is no doer?  Since following the three principles I have based my actions on following my intuition and wisdom and it has helped but now that this idea of no doer is thrown into the mix I’m not sure how to decide things. 

That is one thing I find very hard to come to terms with re non duality - love.  The love I feel for my husband feels/is so real, just as I am certain sure is the love you feel for your children.  I'm struggling to accept how the reality of our deepest, most "meaningful" relationships seems to evaporate along with everything else in this understanding.  But there's no understanding of this unfathomable-ness we find ourselves in that can render the desolation of those we love's death any the easier to bear, is there?  

I tried to stop vaping yesterday, I finished the book and everything made sense. I didn’t last very long! I’ve been writing it out and it clearly feels very unsafe to stop vaping. The identity is terrified and I felt so unsafe. Logically I know that vaping cannot make me safe, but it feels like it does, as it’s keeps the identity and separate self alive. It is bad for me and I am bad so… I can only stay alive in that identity. (It doesn’t feel anywhere near as threatening to do the walking/ water/ food side of things)What is going on here? I want health and I put poison into my body! I, I, I ?? Does it only shift in the subconscious and can nothing change until that happens? Or is that a cop out of me not wanting to take responsibility? Everything about stopping makes sense, so wtf?/child.  It feels so much more than it is, like if I step into this freedom from harm, it’s game over for me, yet it also feels like it’s game over if I don’t stop???  I say I want health, life, energy but do I really or I am happy in the victim role? why is it so so terrifying??? I will keep looking at the threat of it, feeling so unsafe. I guess the deal was, I don’t matter so let me live and I’ll spend my live saving others and suffering myself, hurting myself? Love to hear your thoughts on this.

Thank you for a brilliant today's podcast. It helped to see it also from a bit different angle.We could so easly  end our 1:1 conversation in total different direction...we could end in war. What are the odds of two people out of 8 bilion, who are different age, different cultur, different nationality, different background, different language, etc. to have a sane conversation which is healing for both sides :)What we demonstrated in our conversation and what you teach fills me with hope for all the humanity.And it really isn' t rocket science.

What is your definition of mental health? Listener question

How does forgiveness fit into this conversation? 

My question is regarding this mind-body returning to being a tube….is this the same as Mindfulness (as in being the Observer?) And if not, what is the difference?

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Do you know that when you write “accountability” I scratch my head a bit. What is accountability again ? 🙄😂

I have been watching the violence in Israel in absolute horror. So many innocent people killed and injured. I feel angry not just with the perpetrators but also with my spiritual exploration because in these moments talking about reality and self seems to be nothing but bypass. A complete waste of time when what is required is action because of course this is real, this is actually happening. How do I not become disillusioned both with the state of the world and humanity and with non-duality that says there is no reality? 

When there is no do-er, no chooser, no decider - how can a pattern of abusive behaviour, particularly towards others, stop?  The pattern of ‘wanting’ to intimidate others is noticed. It isn’t wanted…….but how will it or can it stop? 

Hi Clare, I am a listener of your podcast and I have a question I've been wrestling with for awhile that I'm hoping you can touch on. I am struggling with the teacher-student aspect of this understanding or any spiritual understanding for that matter. In my life, I feel like I constantly have so many questions about what is true or not, who is telling the truth and really just what is the truth? And listening to non-dual teachers, reading books, watching videos or anything is relieving a bit because it feels like I am getting an answer. But that feeling never lasts for very long and often I question the teacher themselves. I'm wondering if full understanding of truth is only possible through the self, with no external input. Is it necessary to come to the truth on my own.  I realize this is rather ironic that I am asking you, a teacher. However, I'm not sure what else to do.

Clare you talk about the I, myself. That it doesn't exist. If this is so then  who are we, and how  do we refer to ourselves? I don't understand the message you are trying to give.

It was a great podcast thank you! I appreciate the wild goosechase reminders.The caveat seems to be that the mind will create resistance to feeling each time, there's no doer that does the resisting, it just happens, yet there's the witnessing of it happening that's also where the potential for it shifting is. The agenda is in the resistance. The witnessing of it has no agenda. For some reasons this feels like a paradox. Might be overthinking.It feels​ like there's a separate me that is the one that wields the willpower to overcome the resistance and feel sensations (agenda)...instead of a mind claiming that separation is real and then claiming that the separate thought stream is the doer. 

I thought for a while whether I had any follow ups or anything but tbh I couldn’t take in your response. I keep asking people for help in the form of wanting advice or joining various courses, trying to find someone who gets it and to help me see what to do about various things, not just my daughter, but don’t seem to be able to receive the response and I’m not really sure what to do with that. As I write that I’m realising that that is what I’ve heard you talk about, the ask and the observing of the response. My response seems to be to not be able to take it in, the mind doesn’t seem to want to take in the response because somehow that makes it too real, too painful, so it just moves onto the next problem to fix. Always fixing fixing fixing but never still enough to actually slow down and look at what is going on. Or maybe my ask wasn’t clean, it looked like I was asking for how to navigate the relationship with my daughter, but as I get really still with that, I see that my question was an attempt to secure myself as being seen and loved by a system that, when identified, believes she isn’t. The situation with my daughter was a way to justify asking, so I suppose that’s why I couldn’t take in what to do, because it was never about that. See this is what my mind does, relentlessly analysing what the mind is doing and why and what that means and ugh, here it goes again! 

Hi Clare I have a question for you separate from this video. I wondered whether or not you have a faith, believe in god or a higher presence? If so how important is this concerning living in the present moment, actuality etc, or does it have no bearing at all?    

thank you Clare and the listener who wrote in about  their conditioning of wanting to run away during a wake. I understand that there is no doer that changes conditioning but is it true to say that they way we act and behave can change someone else’s conditioning. 

Email 1thank you so for talking about my email i do get it clare but it's so hard for me to understand my conditioning when everyone else's conditioning is like the same i no it's not the same but they seem to be able to be a part of gatherings and parties and me i just want to run awayi don't even know how i got this programme in me because my family are Irish and growing up we always had massive gatherings and i always would be hiding somewhere mostly under a table .i did read a school report last night and in the report i was 8 years old it said she has lots of friends but she is very much a loner. she will choose to be by herself my parents were very sociable and loved to play Irish music and have a Hooley and sing song well So it's just so hard for me not be like them and join in and have the crack i would stay if i could lay down underneath the table and just listen  but thank you yer big stuff ❤️Email 2 hi lovely it's not the conditioning that needs to be dropped is it it's the mind telling stories like you're gonna faint, everyone is gonna see you on the floor i'm going to lose my vision my heart is beating so fast i'm sweating and my body needs to go that's what my mind is saying i no i have to have it all. I'm going to a 60th birthday tonight and of course I don't want to go it's crazy why does all this come at once

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As this part of the year our courses are in the direction of purpose I feel nothing as opposite from that. Feels like I'm functionally stoned. And there is absence of any pull or push feeling towards something.Have you ever had any experience like this?

hi lovely i just wondered if you could talk about how, you can stay true to your own self in the mist of everyone's else's truth like today I lost someone that I love very much and it was her funeral today and of course i went but i couldn't stay at the wake for very long i felt very sick i aways do even at my own dads i left i slip out i duck out the back i just go and be on my own just to be by myself. but after i do this behaviour my family don't talk to me they ostracise me; they won't talk to me for weeks i have to go around trying to make up with them sometimes in these situations i feel like a lion, without its pride, or just alone i love my family so much i don't feel separate from them just that i behave a bit different and in this i feel alone and then i become a bit desperate to get them back

I wonder also, if you'd be able to go through an experience from start to finish from an unquestioned mind perspective and then the same experience, step by step, from a wholly sane  perspective.  In slow motion?  

Is separation upheld in numbing? Listener question 

I'm watching the rest of the conversations from the THEM course that I hadn't finished yet.In  one you say, "The gift is (insert whatever it is that we want that isn't happening or is happening and we don't want - in her case it's his not saying hello), so that the past response can be unlearned, can be healed. Because otherwise it doesn't get healed." Can you say more about how the parent, or the wholeness/truth that we are, has the potential to heal the panic, frightened response that was learned in a child state and that this can't happen when we somehow avoid the situation that brings up a projection from the past?

Many thanks for your podcast response to validation question today. Very apt for me that you refer to existential safety, as the first module I picked for my membership was Safe. For me, the formal validation was that I actually existed, as I was repeatedly told by my mother that in being born, I ruined her life etc. It is the suffering of separation on some level that makes one seek what is the Real of our existence. For those who have lived on the whole,full and happy lives without having felt the necessity to question or seek the truth of what they are, presumably they would already be the presence of their essential nature that is love or absence of separation, and I see that I have to unblock or unveil my true nature by letting go of my insecurities. And as I’m communicating this, I am now experiencing why my artistic expression and concepts have always centred on a search for lost love and yet the act of doing this is already love itself…

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