Listener question: How do we see tragedy in the light of this understanding? We lost a young family member in circumstances that ‘shouldn’t have happened’ that seem like huge misfortune. It is difficult for me to look at this from within this understanding as ‘part of our human experience’ as I see it as awful and wrong and how can we ever come to terms with that it was meant to happen. And how where was the wisdom in this young persons death.Sorry I know its a heavy one but whilst I get a lot from this conversation this tragedy is still shrouded in a massive BUT for me. Why are some people destined to experience the agony of losing a child and how can we understand a human experience cut short?

Listener question: Thank-you so much Clare for creating a podcast for this.  I have listened to it three times and also our recording once over.  I'm now in a weird place.  I feel frantic that I have to change a lot of things in my life and don't know where to begin.  I'm also confused as to why I've stayed with something that's creating unhappiness for so many years.  I guess with the 3ps I thought it wasn't the job (outside in thinking) so for now I just need to sit with it I guess.  I'm more scattered and anxious, so things need to settle. So many in the 3p world told me they changed jobs only for the anxiety to follow, so making a big upheaval towards something that isn't even calling to me feels wrong.  I just don't know.Thank-you Clare, you've been so generous with me in every way.  I think I'm looking this way for the wrong reasons, so maybe I need to stop.

Listener question: Today a friend held me. Since a diagnosis of breast cancer in January, surgery at the beginning of March, such a lonely journey in COVID, I just kept going to provide for my family. And then today as my friend held me, I just broke down and sobbed, and cried my heart out. Like a floodgate opened. Is that wrong Clare, is that un-spiritual? Is that just a needy desperate self identity? 

Listener question:  I wonder if it would be possible to discuss what seems to going on for me just now.  I seem to be doing well (better than in a long time) and then without notice I’m plunged into my greatest fears (plus some).... this has been going on for a few nights, is beyond uncomfortable and I would appreciate your thoughts.  I’ve absolutely loved the Real course and have taken a lot from it.  Thank you in anticipation xx

Listener question: I wonder if you could consider the following for a Listener Question on your podcasts?I realise virtually my whole life I have been a people pleaser. A learnt and essential approach growing up in my family. I can now see the destructive nature of being this way.  I seem to follow a cycle of     People Pleasing  > Rejection > Victim > People Pleasing etc etc.  How do I break this cycle and how do I simply be me?I would sincerely appreciate a little guidance with this Clare.

Listener question:should I act on my idea? 

Listener question: hi Clare a relative of mine is a narcissist. It gets me down how much attention she demands all the time. I find it exhausting. How does that fit when we are talking about the self? 

Listener question: what do you mean by back room?

Listener question: In the book WELL, at one point you have a phrase you often use about “giving itself up.”And by an objective reality giving itself up we see what’s real.Can you talk more about what this “giving itself up” is?Is there an example in your life when something “gave itself up”?

Listener question: I cannot see how events/conditioning have been put in place for the ultimate purpose of waking us up to what we are. What I understand is that life happens despite me and I do not create my reality. It seems more to me that life is an impersonal, spontaneous synchronicity of events. In other words, every event appears to have an ultimate reason or cause, but ultimately, no event is an absolute unto itself, ever. To say that events/conditioning etc. are put there for the purpose of waking us up to what we are seems to me to personalize what is happening—as long as the need is there to find an ultimate reason for everything, it’s an indication there is a fear of being out of control. Since the knowing “I Am” is already there, who needs to “wake up?” What I understand is that what we are has never forgotten, doesn’t need to remember and does not need to wake up to who/what we are. I understand that it is impossible to understand Self via the mind and once you realize you are not an object “having” experiences, it doesn’t mean you know who or what You really are, but rather, it means you know who You are not. Am i understanding correctly?

Listener question: Are Events Random? Is there such a thing as Cause and effect?Events have been “put there by the conditioned program of our mind.” Are you saying a “program” of conditioning created events, like COVID, to use your example, or am I not hearing correctly what you are saying?  ….”so no randomness in the way anything appears and there entirely for the waking up to what we are.” I can see that how events and the ‘me’ are perceived/experienced are a function of the conditioning/belief  systems and how this could, in a way, and perhaps in the way you are speaking about it, even be seen to be “not random,” but wasn’t the very development of this conditioning “random" with no absolute cause and effect? And when you say, “COVID is a construct of me, it exists because I exist…” can you please explain “who/what” exists?

Listener question: Can you say more about watching the behavior  - not the self - witnessing the behavior? You keep inviting us to inquire into what is happening in this behavior and in suffering. Feeling the sensations not as self.All I can see is just selfing, selfing, and more selfing - I thought this was the behavior. Brain creating a self as thought and then claiming something, rejecting something, trying to nail this thought of self to the floor. Suffering with each new storyline about the self and how it's not liked or failing or about to lose or is a victim or is right, etc. I can see that this is conditioning, that it keeps happening, and feel exhausted by it. It still feels real, like there is a self to secure, that must be defended and protected and can lose.  It feels like there's another layer that you're pointing at that's not been seen yet.

Listener question: what about injustice, discrimination and going out in the streets and fighting against oppression?Is that just a self that is caught in the narrative of feeling oppressed? Is there a self that searches for security that does not exist anyway?

Listener question : how to change other people's beliefs and behaviour?

Listener question: should I stay or should I go? 

Listener question: are we saying people shouldn't be punished? 

Listener question: What about the terrible things like murder. If we have no choice then we have no culpability? 

Listener question: where do decisions come from? I do understand the influence of learning, beliefs and other brain activity such as chemical imbalances but are there also decisions made from our higher sense of self without any contamination of beliefs about right or wrong?

Listener question: are events random? Is there such thing as cause and effect?

Strength and destruction

How acknowledging 'choice' also a closer attention on the learned conditioned system

Listener question: Clare lovely, you often mention the going right into the perceived problem. What does that actually mean? In my case I can see a lot of things just generated by a mind that has a strong conditioned identity of being rejected by other people. And funny enough more and more I can see how this bodymind rejects others at the same time. So the old programme of rejection is running strong, it was literally drummed into my body as a child, but now it feels almost like ghosts from the past still hanging around.And at the same time evidence is seen NOW that the current perceived rejections are purely made up in the mind. This is where it gets really confusing. It still feels utterly shit. So are you suggesting to go right into the awful feeling and then see what happens? ‚Having it all’ is often mentioned, what does that actually mean?  The Self is asking this, maybe still with the hope of getting rid of uncomfortable feelings, feeling trapped and at the mercy of others confused feelings was very real for me all those decades ago and obviously it is not anymore. And at the same time it’s a comfortable prison, if I am this awful person I don’t have to follow my dreams, I don’t have to challenge injustices, I don’t have to take responsibility for anything, I can eat selfdestuctive amounts of sugar, can let my inner critic run riot and I don’t have to do what I love doing because it’s covered in layers and layers of judgement anyway. But then there is this lifeaffirming burning desire for living life to the fullest, this burning desire of shedding all these layers of crap and finally to do really exciting and juicy, sexy, arty stuff, stuff that makes me feel alive, free from heady stale concepts adopted from a confused society. Does this even make any sense and what’s the enquiry in this? Where is the custody without control in this? 

Listener question: I would like to discuss the topic of real life questions.  How do I work with things  such as managing savings, buying a new car etc.  If I disappears does the remainder of reality as I know it change?  What about my relationships?

Listener question: I want to say that I like that Clare’s course is the only one that doesn’t begin with trying to solve a specific psychological problem e.g. anxiety, fear...  Addressing the base problem of a separate self is fundamental to understanding the specific situations.But if I could lose a few pounds that would be a great side benefit.

Exploring the difference between jealousy and inspiration

Listener question: When I look back at supposed "vision" statements I've written down in the past, the mind judges these as pointless now because the vision was usually coming from a back drop of "something is wrong, this will make it right." Like these: "the whole of humanity is waking up from self" as though it's "wrong" or "bad" that most of us are still asleep most of the time. "all children loved and cared for and seen as whole" since it seems to me that many are not seen this way"everyone I know works on addressing climate change" because it seems that all of us not doing so is wrong.I was sussing out if there's still a vision for the business, and while ideas come to mind (people feeling their emotions fully for example) - they all seem rooted in the self claiming something "wrong out there" that needs fixing. 

Listener question: I am wondering if we are affected in a relation to another or if we are only affected by the illusion of another (or both). For example if someone is very angry are we affected by some sort of energy directly from this apparent other or is it only our thinking/our concept of the angry other that affects us or both. The same with an apparent "happy" other. 

Listener question: I still have the thoughts that say for example, "Once I cure this health problem, I will be "happy" or "feel better" OR once I find the right partner OR once I get a job writing in comedy" - Like those still run in my head. And then I just wondered... do I stop trying to cure the health problem? Find a partner I enjoy or try to change careers? Like.. from my understanding of your work, I am just going to do what I do - if I have a fascination with health, I will try and improve my health... if I desire for love, I will be looking for a partner, if I have a love of comedy, I will try to be able to do more of it - even my love of reading about these principles I will just continue to do! but how do I separate my doing from the belief that any of it will somehow improve my life? Essentially, how do I let go of the added thinking on top of it?

Listener question : Ok, I’ve been seeing recently how easy it is to slip into suffering states. For example dealing with relatives I observed being sucked into a vortex of panic and despair. Or when I wake up in the middle of the night it’s so easy to slip into a vortex of worry and learned helplessness. In these moments it feels so real and part of my being knows it’s just a Horrorfilm of old neuropathways. The question is maybe what needs to be more seen in these scenarios so the suffering becomes less stick or convincing? So much love and compassion to everyone involved. Xxx 

Please can you speak about how to live with someone who doesn't like people? 

Exploring how the 'quick win' of feeling better can take us back to identification. 

What is the motivation for listening to this podcast? It will make all the difference to what can be heard. 

Exploring how there is no 'I' doing the over-thinking or practicing mindfulness. Rumination is the creation of the illusion of a separate 'I' and mindfulness is the absence of that confusion. 

Exploring why the expression 'this too shall pass' is an invitation to go deeper into an experience, not to sit it out waiting for the 'right' experience to arrive. 

Exploring why spirituality can't live in an ivory tower, separated out from the challenges of live. Its job is to be tested by and to ultimately dissolve the rigours of  'the real world' 

Listener question: I'm afraid. Life has been at a low point for me the last year or so. As Spring arrives and the country has the feeling of gradually opening up I am hoping that I will be able to put things back together and move towards something happier and more fulfilling. Do I really want to go down another rabbit hole and either be disappointed or perhaps shake my very foundation?

Listener question: I maintain that we can choose thoughts.  We have choice in believing them or not.  Mindfulness is all about recognizing thoughts and letting them be.  That is control.  That is in essence another thought.  There seems to be some amount of free will in all of this.

Exploring how identification with behaviour obscures the stillness in which conditioning can be undone. 

Enlightenment and the hot air balloon For information about our REAL foundation course in March click here https://claredimond.com/current-live-program/

Looking at the mental load of:trying to solve problems that don't existtrying to control the uncontrollable resisting reality If you'd like to join us in March for the REAL on-line course, please click here for more information. https://claredimond.com/current-live-program/

Listener question: Noticing that every time limitation, upset, frustration, desperation, resistance arise today - the only thing at stake is an identity. Why is the identity so painful to lose? 

Thought: suppression or realisation 

Comment: What is real must come from one perspective of HUMAN cognitive processing. How can anybody live my life? Experience how I perceive the world and what is real? This must come from ones own individual perception. How is it possible to teach individual cognitive processing of what is considered reality?  My own experience  of  'self' is mine . Nobody can get inside my head and tell me what is real or not ! Nobody else can view the world as I and dictate what is therefore a real experience.For more information about our on-line course in March click here: https://claredimond.com/current-live-program/

Listener question:  I have been following your podcasts and reading your books and it is very clear to me that the self does not exist as but a belief, a thought. But still it feels all the time so real to be in the thinking , body. The identification with the body / mind is very strong , very pesrsistent. It is not easy to identify as the consciousness which we are. So the suffering continues. Can you tell some more about it. For more information about our on-line course in March click here: https://claredimond.com/current-live-program/

How does the law of attraction fit with the exploration of reality?For more information about our on-line course in March click here: https://claredimond.com/current-live-program/

Listener question: Can you talk about ageing and appearance in the context of this conversation?For more information about our on-line course in March click here: https://claredimond.com/current-live-program/

Can you talk about 'shadow integration' in the context of this conversation about reality?For more information about our on-line course in March click here: https://claredimond.com/current-live-program/

What is a 'good' ending to a relationship?For more information about our on-line course in March click here: https://claredimond.com/current-live-program/