What is reality? For more information about our on-line course in March click here: https://claredimond.com/current-live-program/

Listener question: what is the most fundamental essence of this? For information on the March REAL course click here https://claredimond.com/current-live-program/

Listener question: I am curious about your relationship with yoga, does it go deep with your teachings? As in has yoga helped you see more? 

Listener question: I am considering what is at stake when the fear is future physical suffering. It’s not immediate physical harm or the examples of idea of self you gave. But since the fear is about something physical (sensations and harm), there does seem to be something solid there to protect. It does seem like a mother bear on its hind legs - not in front of me but around the corner! Although I see that it is all a creation of mind - and therefore as nonexistent as identity, confidence, reputation, etc. - it feels different enough that it seems to have a grip that those don’t. Can you help clarify how to move closer in to that? 

Exploring the difference between 'coming fresh' into a situation and naïveté.

 Listener question: in this body-mind  there is a constant underlying feeling of not  living my full potential. With getting older rapidly, questions about achievements getting louder, are there any? And what’s actually holding me back from being an artist, there is a longing and a fear in equal measures. What’s holding me back? 

Listener question: 'maybe its the thinking that’s the enemy and I create these painful insecure thoughts and therefore I create selfulfilling prophecies?' 

Listener question: Resistance is felt in this notion of that everything that is showing up is an exact mirror of ourselves. So if we stop reacting to aggression aimed at us, isn’t there a risk of being treated like a doormat? Although instantly I see this is the same dual perspective. So i need to stay still with these aggressions to see more about the dual dynamics in it? There is a deep fear/hurt in being guilty for everything, so it’s Hard to stay still with that. And the question arises how do people do it, the ones that seemingly ooze natural agency, natural presence and power, who would never be treated like that? Maybe again that question comes from the same perception? In some spiritual circles internal rage is seen a life force of agency if harnessed and used in constructive ways, like setting boundaries and making sure this bodymind is treated with respect. Maybe you could speak to that if it makes sense?

Listener question: I am a bit unsure around 'severe' conditions like multiple personality and clinical depression - I wonder whether these are showing up as cycles of belief or if there is a physical component to those.

Listener question: Today I got triggered by a colleague, deep hurt was felt because I could feel hatred oozing from him. It seemed like he projected his unfounded hatred onto me, constant micro aggressions and the whole day there was a toxic atmosphere in the air. He apologised but continued to be hostile.It seemed I had a slightly different perspective on this than in the past, I could see that it was his thought storm and I didn’t have to go automatically into self blame. But still I was trying to fix the situation, by being on my best behaviour while he was just being a dick. Where am I the dick in this picture? What does this situation mirror? There wasn’t any knee jerk reaction from my part, so I guess that’s what you mean with custodianship without choice? Im curious to see more in this example. 

How does impact work? 

Listener question: Why do we feel vulnerable even though all we are is love? 

Listener question: A question that often comes up with my readers and clients is this idea of needing to process ‘stuck’ emotions and trauma in the body.Especially since working with the 3Ps approach I have seen less and less of a need for this and am not sure it serves people with psychological suffering.I do believe thoughts change our physical chemistry and can lead to what we see as clinical depression, but I am less sure about stuck trauma.What do you think?

Listener question: I realised every time I’d been triggered today was because I was witnessing my perception of bullying behaviour.  Then I realised all of the people at work I have issue with are the strong minded, direct talking, pushy, in your face characters and I perceive them as bullies.I’ve realised bullying is a huge huge trigger. It’s been my last few posts. It is coming through time and again. If the behaviour is directed at me I feel inferior, intimidated, tearful, unhappy, not good enough etc etc etc Today the particular issue which triggered me most wasn’t directed at me. It was directed on several occasions against a younger colleague who I watched become intimidated, lost for words, etc etc.  And my reaction was fury.So what now? 

Exploring the advice 'you need to love yourself' 

Listener question: why does criticism feel so bad and how do I stop the belief that people are doing it to be nasty?

Listener question: there have been reports of people driven to terrible actions, apparently because they believed there was no other choice. How does that work in a conversation about reality? 

Listener question: is there any truth in our thoughts? Or are they always just a collection of random stuff picked up along the way?

Listener question: I am making delicious treats for my very picky dog (more cat than dog), I finally found some that she likes. And I very much love doing all that and there is so little of quality ones at the market and I am thinking of selling it.BUT – I would be in business where animals would be slaughtered because of me!So I think that in the end, I probably won't go with it... (I still am not really sure.) But I think this is really an interesting topic and you might have some interesting thoughts in exploring it! If it's interesting for you maybe you can talk about it in the podcast or just say here to me a few thoughts, if you have it.

Listener question: At work my line manager has very limiting beliefs and uses me to vent to about anyone and anything which annoys her. I find this increasingly difficult to deal with.......  Most of the time I don’t agree and recently rather than going with it I have found myself trying to reason with her and convert her to my beliefs! Why? I know I can’t change her......... Every time this happens though I just find myself annoyed, upset, stressed out and exhausted by it. It’s almost daily and just gets me down. Now I know it’s all not real. It’s all her story that I’m being dragged into. My self is then making its own drama of it - like a blooming soap opera on TV that I would just turn off because it’s boring!So is the answer to recognise it’s just all just an illusion and try to not let myself get annoyed, dragged into the drama. Surely that’s just denial? Any insights would be really helpful please.

Listener question:  Do you have any comments that I could consider in terms of taking blame or feeling guilt for something, please? The position of self (which feels like me, inseparable, not something I am observing) is that I made choices to set boundaries in relationships, which in these instances meant prioritising a professional coaching relationship rather than a friendship. The result in the others is that they feel rejected and hurt. I feel responsible for their pain and I hate that I have hurt them or made them feel unworthy of friendship, to have made them feel not good enough. If I had continued in the (blurry) arena of being friends and coach, they would not be feeling that way. Therefore, their pain is my fault and I feel so guilty and horrible. Urgh......

Listener question: I am wondering how you see boundaries in the context of non-duality.  I would say that I have very weak boundaries whilst being deeply suspicious that we need them!  If we are in touch with our true self does that not take care of the need for them?

Listener question: what do you mean with human self, the self? The terms ego, self, soul, inner self are confusing.

hi Clare - I wonder if you could sum up the simple essential truths about this understanding. I love how you explain everything in different ways to make it more understandable. It shows how this works in our daily life. But sometimes it feels good for me to see the big and simple picture, to get back to simplicity. It gives an overview or a frame for it all. 

Exploring how this phrase fits with what we know about behaviour, choice and reality

Listener question : I was wondering how oneness and uniqueness are possible at the same time... how can any expression be more unique than another if there is no separation to begin with.. 

Listener question: Could you say maybe something about confidence and competition.Recently it became apparent that the I seems to be in constant competition in all areas of life. Keeping a hypervigilant gaze on the others who seem always better, more competent, more charming, compatible, positive, etc. It’s tough times for a lot of people, but somehow the I believes to be the utter underdog (at work for example) holding a belief that if times get even tougher I’m the first one out the door. Although objective evidence seems to be that I work in an environment where bosses and colleagues care about me. Confidence at all time low and confusion equally high. Maybe there is a question in this somewhere. 

Listener question: It seems that what we're calling "apparent reality" isn't the same as illusion or dream, it's the learned, conditioned perception each brain body has of reality. An illusion or a dream cannot be touched, it's intangible. Just like the imagination of the mind in creating future scenarios that aren't happening, they aren't real. Those are illusions/a dream. That's also why we say feelings in the body are the closest we can get to reality, because they are direct - although I would argue the body can generate sensations based on thoughts in the mind and therefore you can experience pain from imaginative thought. Apparent reality can be touched. It's what I call regular boring reality. Which goes back to a real body standing in a road can be hit by a real car. Are you saying that there is no objective reality because the brain-body can't know that objective reality any other way than subjectively through experience which is created by the brain, or as you say, mind? This is a slippery slope because the world of form is still here, even if we can only know it through our unique lens. To me there is an objective reality - yes if a tree falls in the forest it makes a sound even if no one hears it. Thank you!

How did you first really "get" this?  Was it a sudden Road to Damascus moment of utter seeing and knowing that in a flash changed everything forever, or was it rather a long slow drawn-out painful grind of  stops and stutters till you finally saw what an idiot you'd been seeing things any other way?  Book reference: Conversations in Non Duality: Twenty Six Awakenings by Eleanora Gilbert

Listener question: How does this conversation not slide over into there's no form and therefore no science to study that form, no laws to govern the interaction of forms (traffic speed laws or requirements on auto safety design), and no reason to treat one another well? This can just as easily slide into the other side of a conditioned response called nihilism. You've already spoken about how this isn't solipsism.

A listener request for comment on an email:I think I may have had an epiphany.  Or something.  I’m not sure.  I am a container for Mind.  A conduit for Infinite Intelligence.  An individual expression of the animating force of the universe.  It expresses through me. I think and I feel.  Thoughts and feelings come spontaneously, which generate behavior.  I have no control over any of it.  When I’m in a low mood, and behaving accordingly, I just wait it out.  It will eventually pass.  No matter what I am thinking and feeling, whether “good or “bad”, it is not who I am, but a manifestation of a self that does not actually exist.  When I let go of whatever I am thinking and feeling, it allows the Infinite to express though me, and my state changes naturally to one of Love, Peace, and Joy.  I don’t have to upgrade my feelings, or choose a better thought, but simply let everything move through me so my True Self, which is Love and Peace becomes my experience.  I do this effortlessly by simply being aware that I am thinking and feeling.  And this is who I really am – the Experience of Peace, the Expression of Love.  BTW, I must tell you.  While reading SANE, I had an awakening, of sorts.  When you wrote “my thoughts are not true” (or something to that effect), I suddenly felt a great relief.  A feeling that everything was suddenly OK.  Because I didn’t have to believe my thoughts, I was FREE, like a great weight had been lifted.  I felt a deep Peace.  A certainty that life was good, that I was OK, and everything was exactly the way it was supposed to be.  That feeling has not left.  It’s been a while now, about two weeks.  That’s why I wrote to you.  I felt so good after that, I was a little confused about the No Control thing.  I still am. I am new to the Three Principles, and new to non-dualism, but something tells me I’ve been searching for this my entire life. Please comment.

As I've worked through relationships and roles the common thread I am finding is the overwhelming sense of responsibility wherever there is suffering or stress.My question - does the sense of responsibility come from the need to control, or does the need to control create the sense of responsibility?

So beliefs, experience, action are revealing what has been learned by the form/being... But what about thoughts, feelings, emotions? Are they revealing anything/have any purpose? Or like the 3P people say, are they just randomly coming in from who knows where or what? Thanks!!

Listener question: please describe separation and no-separation

Can you please do a podcast on fate and destiny seen from the perspective of learning vs the impulse of life being lived.

There is no self that is the do-er because the self is a concept created by the brain-body as part of learning. And that does not mean an absence of doing or the being having custody of that doing. Can you speak on this please?

Listener question:  I do not have control over other people, events, and circumstances.  Agreed.  And I do not have control over the thoughts that bubble up in my mind.  They arise on their own, for the most part.  But I CAN think on purpose.  Thoughts may arise, but I can also think intentionally.  And this applies to my actions even more so.  My instinct may be to anger or blame or withdraw.  But I CAN act another way if I choose.  Knowing I have no control, and letting go of wanting anything to be other than what it is, eases my way though life.  The idea of noticing, simply observing, without engagement is freedom, and resting in the knowledge that I cannot change anything external to me is peace.  But I’m sticking to my guns here (sorry for the violent metaphor)… I know that I can think on purpose and act accordingly.  And I create my experience to that extent.  Please comment, thank you again.

Exploring Puma Chodron's quote 'The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently'. 

Exploring life's purpose with the Remi quote: 'Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.'

Exploring how true integrity is never about separation.

Expanding on yesterday's 'Outside In' podcast 

Exploring how reality is a revelation of what is believed

What does it mean to start afresh? 

Exploring the two gifts of life. If you'd like to join us in January and February please click here for details: https://claredimond.com/current-live-program/

Exploring how we can bring the story of ourselves and others into every situation, every new relationship . 

Exploring how peace on earth and goodwill to all men can be brought about

Exploring what happens when we think expression is personal. If you would like to join the course mentioned the details are here: https://claredimond.com/current-live-program/

Exploring why some desires cannot be met and others are immediately fulfilled.