You speak often of doing the thing that scares us to show us where the 'self' is showing up.  What if I have been doing the thing for over a decade and it's led to horrific anxiety (panic attacks GAD insomnia) It's been a decade now.  I worked for two decades without any problems and then as soon as financial insecurity showed up I had one panic attack and boom, my life forever changed.  I feel like I'm in the deep end and there's not the opportunity to go in slow.  The program still seems to think this is the way I have to earn a living as everything I look into comes to a dead end.  I also know that I worked so many years without this issue, so why not again? I know that my brain has changed and this system is looping around on the same neural pathways that have now been created.  Does it take time for the systems' auto pilot of body reactions to change.  I feel like my nervous system is so revved up all the time that it's stuck in my body and this is now my life, which I want to heal, and don't know how.

The self here is still grappling with the stark notion of ruthless self criticism  as an ego trip. I see the necessity to take responsibility for that and at the same time it leads to more self criticism. Who is taking responsibility for what?

How can I be happy despite pain and fatigue? (Listener question.)

Do you think "3p" has shortcomings?Sometimes it looks to me that the aspect of  inquiring is shut down by saying "it's just your thinking". In the end yes indeed ("direct path")but sometimes to have a better understanding of the body mind system, and where i picked up some believes (religion, work environment etcetera)  the mind is more willing to let it fall away. And ofcourse it is my personal experience. Your teaching is bit more forgiving. That is what i found refreshing in your courses.

A brief summary of this episode

‘Why when I  know something needs my attention (in my case money management) do I push my head further into the sand.  It makes absolutely no sense, the ongoing discomfort as a consequence of this must be worse than actually talking the action?? You have touched on this in the Voice course (remaining in a comfort zone etc) but somehow money ‘seems’ to hold so much more fear?? Why does this happen around money?? Thank you’

Can we talk about choices/being the choice maker some more! :)There are times when I see it clearly (most of the time, I believe)and there are times when I get confused. For ex. there are many times when I can see my train of negative/painful thoughts and I can see that if I get on it, the ride won’t be fun. So there are moments when I feel “I” am choosing not to get on it by distracting myself by whatever comes to mind in that moment OR when you encourage us to do an exercise, go do the thing, it seems to me that there is “me” choosing whether I want to do it or not based on the information from you. There are times when it feels I am choosing to see something differently, a situation or person etc. Even the recent realisation I talked about where I blamed someone for doing something and then examined myself only to see I was capable of the same. So it looks as though I was looking at myself and I came to those conclusions.  I don’t feel it’s got anything to do with conditioning or any script in the background but purely acting in a moment, one way or another based on the information in that moment. I don’t know if it makes sense so I’d love to hear you talk about that. Where’s my confusion coming from or what am I not seeing? Thank you! ❤️

You talk about not believing the mind. In my opinion that is so dangerous. Is this a cult? Is it brainwashing? Is it an attempt to shut down reason and analysis? 

hi Clare I listen to the news and I see all the terrible things going on in the world - the violence, climate change, poverty, the pandemic. We need to take action on all of this right now not sit around wondering about the self and about what I am. Spirituality seems totally self indulgent when there is so much that must be changed . We first need to sort out all the issues in the world - like climate change, racism, violence etc and only then should we  turn our attention to ourselves. 

Listener question: we're the space witnessing the program, but what questions it?   The system can't question itself, but it seems we need the mind to do so?

A brief summary of this episode

My daughter is often silenced, seemly unable to say word,s even when she has come home (from Uni) with an issue of some kind.  I ask her and eventually just offer general words of support hoping it helps.  But I am left frustrated and feeling I have failed her somehow. I have looked at where I see this in myself and know I have done the exact same thing, most often when I am anxious and afraid, which has been often over the last few years. This could be why she worries me, as I see her as being the same, I think she must be anxious and afraid too.Logically I see any number of reasons could be the cause but I am confused by my own conditioning or memories.

You've said that identity, creativity and money are made up of the same thing?I'm still not clear so I'm going to take a stab at it and you tell me what you think? Straighten me out so I can get this...Thought created - the identity (mind), what the identity thinks about money and what the identity thinks about creativity - all created from thought/conditioning/beliefs. It's ALL activity of mind. And when you say the "same thing" besides being a product of "activity of mind" what the mind thinks about the identity is the same thing it thinks about creativity and money?For instance, this identity here had the conditioning of I can't make money without struggle, I can only make a certain amount of money, I didn't go to the big elite universities where there are connections to other wealthy families, my family wasn't wealthy - so i can only make so much money. Or I'm not really creative. No one in my family paints or dances or sings or sculpts or anything creative. So creativity isn't something I have. I'm NOT creative. So those thoughts, beliefs, conditioning above about the identity/self and the identity's relationship to thoughts of money and creativity - ALL the same thing! One big masterpiece of limitation and suffering! 

Listener message: I wanted to write to you since a long time! It will be a very boring mail without any questions… I just want to thank you. Life got so much easier since I met you. Nothing in the outer world changed, one the contrary: I still am dating without success, my mother got a stroke and is now paralyzed and needs 24 hour care, my stepfather is looking after her and on the verge of breaking down, my sisters husband got diagnosed with cancer one week ago and will be in chemotherapy the next two months daily after the operation next week,… I am just writing this to say  it is not suddenly all blissful and eternal sunshine…But it got quieter.The constant chattering in my head went away. Things get done, words are spoken - but in a way I am not involved. Or very much involved, depending on the view. I burst into tears seeing a policeman organizing the traffic around the Corona-riots. Just out of admiration for him being so serious about organizing the traffic - and for the anti-vaccine-rioters for being so serious about their views… and for the pro-vaccine-rioters who were trying to prevent the riots with more rioting… Things are so serious and so not serious at the same time around me.It got clearer to me that the „I“ is a construct of multiple minds (mine and others), a device which is fed by genetics and conditioning (and when genetics is seen as conditioning of the ancestors, then there is only conditioning left = learned patterns in reaction to secure survival which made sense once or still does). Things are happening, I react, I get angry, I am sad, I am laughing, I say something or nothing - just without  the noise in my head of figuring out how I will be secured in the future or ruminating about how I was doing in the past.And so I go on listening to your podcasts - and every day a layer of the onion gets removed and it is a step deeper - or not - until it does again  :-) 

I’m also noticing a desire for this house cleaning (or weight loss/health) struggle to be serving some sort of higher purpose - or relating to struggle or lack of action in these spaces like it’s some sort of self-sabotage, but in the absence of a self…. it can’t quite be self-sabotage can it? And what’s the point to the identity of relating to one’s behavior as self-sabotage. Why would identity do that?

Listener question: I *just* realized how personally I take my husband’s criticism of our home (it’s a mess). And that got me thinking that it’s not just his criticism but my own criticism from within about what it means about me as a person, a mother, and a wife that the house is a mess. How is our own self-criticism not personal?  Is it too just a learned pattern, and how does one learn that (or unlearn it)? 

Can you talk about why each time there is suffering and resistance against something , it is an opportunity over and over again for healing? Is it that each time we see that the brain creates separation via the self concept - and this feels painful, and each time we see that it's a temporary creation then there is opportunity for healing? It feels like there's something missing here. 

I’m curious, if there is no controlling I, who or what is it that decides to do the thing that Clare is saying to do? What makes the change from staying safe to taking risks? Is it just that as we see that it’s just a programme, there becomes more possibility within that programme? Or is it something outside the programme? Interested in your responses, thanks

Listener question: If there's no decision maker and a learned programme is simply being acted out, how do we differ from an AI robot? We can watch the robot running it's programme just as we can watch our own programme running and we can watch the programme changing as the system learns. NLP is all about accelerating change within the neurological programme, a reprogramming of the system (presumably by another programme as there's no doer).So, what does it mean to be human? We're aware that we're aware of course, but if we have no choices then there's a sense of so what?  How do I actually differ from an AI or even from my dog? Are we simply a more intelligent AI vs other animals or certain robots?

I have a thing about doing the dishes. You have no idea how big a problem this can become. I have had a whole team of friends over to look at how I can fit in a dishwasher, where there really isn't space for it. I got the flat that I'm in because I could swear that there was space, when I went to look at it! Sometimes I see that the aversion to doing the dishes has something to do with hidden thoughts behind it all. I could just leave the dishes right? But how will people view the illusary me if the place is a tip? But it is not always like that. Sometimes I just do the dishes without any fight whatsoever, and sometimes I leave them without a thought. So when I'm OK (or rest in okness) there i no aversion and no guilt. There is movement towards the dishes or away from them. But when "I'm" not OK there is aversion and a lot of guilt. Deep in it all I feel there is a true desire for a dishwasher (without attachment to wether I get it or not).The same situation seems to be read moment by moment, and it can reveal widely different experiences. I feel this is the same when creating content, and how I feel about people not responding. Sometimes I am not OK (embarrased, ashamed etc.), sometimes I am actually OK, and other times I feel OK, but really I am closed off, not curious, and disinterested in learning anything new. There is a deep desire to share underneath it all.Is there always something in the way, when we don't get a good response? what am I not seeing here?

Listener question: I'm wondering if you have any thoughts around feedback when it's something we can't control.  I have panic attacks at work and it impacts the effectiveness of my work.  I think you're pointing to the fact that these are a learned response in the system and until I can see past the separation of my clients, this will keep happening in a non personal way.  Would it be similar, as say I lost my arm and couldn't work any more, and so my mind loops in ways that make it impossible to do this job. I know it's not the very same as with the former, it really would be impossible and with the latter if I could see more it might still be possible.

I have had a tough time in my personal life. I was in a long distance relationship for 2 year with someone I adored. We hit a rough patch and decided to be friends but instead of that he has ghosted me. it has been around 6 weeks and i am having a hard time getting over it. I feel with what i know I should be okay by now. I have no idea why he has done it, no closure and i cry a lot. I cannot seem to get a grip even though i know there is no me to get a grip. Can you speak to this please if possible?

Do we always need to fall to the bottom to feel this enormous pain to change or at least seek change? As I listen to your work I understand that defensive systems are all set to defend what needs to be defended which looks real to us keeping us at Status Quo. 

I have turned down a job offer for some genuine practical reasons but I can also see that I have retreated because of a perceived threat to my identity. A sense of lack and unworthiness was overwhelming. I saw the ‘wolves’ getting ever closer and felt unable to challenge them or look them in the eye!I did find my voice to explain my reasons for not taking up the position, which in the past I would not have done- previously there would have been a resigned pushing and forcing, showing only commitment to the job no matter what the consequences. To some extent I think it was a ‘lose/lose’ for the identity as I’m now left with feelings of guilt! I can see that in trying to secure the identity and to end the turmoil and suffering, the mind still isn’t happy with the decision made and it will probably only repeat this pattern in another scenario that comes along!I’d be really grateful for you talk about this in one of your podcasts and help me see more around this. A lot has been coming up for me in the last few months, ‘layers of the onion’ are being exposed and there is a willingness to look more closer at all these behaviours in a way that was unthinkable before.

I am loving reading WELL again, as we travel together through the VOICE course. Please could you read some VOICE relevant pages from WELL within a Podcast. That would really help pull this all together.

It has felt in the past like there was an I fixing myself whereas now, there's less of a sense of that. It's more like something arising by itself. My sense is that multiple 'I' characters are created each with its own narrative and patterns and we are identified with these 'I' characters until we see through them. Sometimes people see though the illusion completely and these self identities collapse in one go - like Syd Banks or Anita Moorjani, but often it's a slower process where one illusory character collapses while perhaps we're still identified with another? Do you see it like this or differently?

I'm curious about guilt. It's a long term pattern I have around my mum. I'm not sure if the feeling of guilt is old laid down energies, from a difficult childhood with her, working the way out of the system.  O if it's a kick up the ass, as in that moment, I'm seeing my mum as someone seperate out there and the story is she shouldn't be like this/I'm not being a 'good' daughter. Or perhaps neither or both.In the past I'd be avoiding or scrambling to make her okay but for now I'm showing up, being curious and being the space for the emotions.  I'd love to hear thoughts about this, thanks

When I want to speak up for something I want in front of others e.g asking a builder to change something when he is halfway through a job because I was either : misinformed, I realise there is a better option OR I just don’t like something. How do I navigate this communication cleanly and respectfully (for self and other) when i'm silenced by my freeze, fight or flight the situation. I get flooded with feelings of shame, self-apology and am scared of being seen as a hassle. Perhaps i would aks for the change and then still feel the same because of course it's nothing to do with them is it.I suddenly lose clarity about what I want or what is right and if I'm just be reacting to a trauma of past feelings of powerlessness, fear of being misinformed and fear of having been silenced.  What is the opportunity for me to see here and how do i not make ALL of it feel wrong

Listener question: how does a subliminal work? 

Listener question:  I find your Subliminal offering interesting. Then, in one of your podcasts (and, also my understanding), you mention that looking for answers in the world of form can keep us in alert mode? I'm just wondering how you reconcile these two ideas ? I learned about Subliminal from one of my clients and I'd like to be able to understand your logic behind it please?https://claredimond.com/realisation-nothing-to-realise/

I have a question about what has to happen for a person to change or at least seek change. Do people allways have to hit the bottom floor and face unbearable pain to get themselves in the postion to seek change? As I listen to your podcasts/Videos, defense mechanism & EGO sistems in place are strongly keeping us in the status quo. And grasping temporaly reliefs (outside ourselves) from discomforting feelings can just prolong needed realisations.

Listener observation: there are no people involved in conversation... 

Clean communication - the dissolution, not an attribute, of the self

Listener question: The question I keep playing over is whether I need to know what my story is or just being aware that there is a story tied into identity is enough?Whenever I try to investigate what the beliefs are that are keeping this fear of public speaking in place I go all over the place and whilst lots of thoughts are revealed I'm not sure what I am believing to be true.

Listener question: Can you please do a podcast on the sense of feeling which is the only thing in the now. What happens when subjectivity gets involved in the feeling and distorts the felt sense of feeling from the story of feeling (what the mind wants to create from the feeling).If one is feeling anxiety and feeling it in the body the feeling of constriction and tension in shoulders and is feeling it. Then  the mind comes in and attachs a story to the anxiety and that story is seen and heard and the feeling of the sensations become obscured by the minds story.

Listener question: Simple question: Can NLP be useful alongside an exploration of non-duality?

Listener question: why do I do 'x' when I know I should do 'y'? 

Listener question: It seems like when a mind created story comes up, it‘s more convincing than ever, like how dangerous it will be to go on stage. Also some physical symtpoms are very strong.Somehow I can observe how the story comes up, but then when I‘m in it, I‘m so much in it that I can‘t really see it as a story anymore. I‘m very scared that I will get stuck in the story and won‘t be able to observe whats happening anymore..I don‘t know if I‘m making sense.. I think my „self“ is trying to cry for help, knowing that it‘s under threat..What am I missing here?

Listener question: What exactly is 'honesty' ?. I realised that if i met an old friend i could be 'honest' and say "i am a failure, i dont have children, i'm not married, I'm still dependant with no reliable income, I have 'gone nowhere, the world has moved on and i am the same as i was when we last met". Compared to all the 'movement' in her life i would feel like a loser. This would feel like my 'honest truth'. I would be sharing how i 'honestly' feel and see myself right now. HOWEVER, i can also see that all i'd be doing is sharing the 'thoughts i'm believing to be true in that moment through the filters on how i am seeing my life'. I would feel i was being totally honest because those thoughts feel REAL.The other option is i could 'act' and tell her all the things i have done that were successful and paint a better picture. These facts would also be 'true' but because i don't feel 'successful'and it isnt what i'm seeing right now i'd feel as if i was being 'dishonest' and 'fake'. This feels even further from authentic.I can see that both examples are 'true' and both examples are 'fake' I can see that all life events are neutral and so what we're really sharing are our self judgements and the meaning we have given those events, and what we are risking are the hidden judgements of others.So WHAT does real 'honesty' look like if the thoughts that inform what we feel to be 'our truth in the moment' are actually only ever telling us 'lies' ?. Is sharing how we feel ever 'honesty' if our feelings are always only coming from our unreliable thoughts ? 

Listener question: What I'm seeing with my expression and lack of, is a deep distrust of life i.e. that the expression I long to be truly isn't possible and it's best not to be proved right on that.Choosing actions that allow full expression rather than keep a pretence that it's still at a distance and not yet available is what I want.My concern with being a participant on your course is that I continue to stay in that story of I'm not there yet (wherever there is, I hope you get what I mean.)So I'm torn. The content of the course sounds amazing and clearly I am still in the same old story living hand to mouth on Universal Credit  etc.But how long do I stay a participant for? Is that serving me?

Listener question:  I do feel like it's groundhog day over here.  Currently I'm gripped with fear.  I'm trying to stay with the sensations and tell myself that any story I'm attaching isn't true.  It seems like it is true that I keep having the same experience.  The work I do is so intimate, and having panic attacks here is so difficult, but I guess that's what you mean about going in the other direction deeper into the story.  I listen, and read and think 'oh yes, this makes sense and it's very true' and then there I am one on one at work and all of that flies out of the window and I'm stuck in another panic attack.  The body/mind is so quick to go there, for many reasons (yes lots of evidence to back up the stories).  I do also watch and notice.  There's two tracks going on, one that goes down into the story and the other that looks at it.  The former seems to win out as I dread the future scenarios stronger than I can see clearly what's really going on. I know it's all the things you talk about ie protection, control, pushing away experience, but that's where I'm at and seemingly not shifting.There's something more for me to see around this no self present day accountability.  I'll listen some more and see if any questions come to mind.  

Listener question:  I noticed that if I get stressed, that I try to "do the same thing" that worked last time. I sort of see that the last time something "worked out" it wasn't because I did something specific with the controlling mind. But at the same time I remember doing things like observing overwhelming feelings (which seems to have helped me a lot). How do I not make this a technique? (which is definitely a question of a controlling mind..)

I am wondering if you could talk a little about comparison as compared to judgment. I see them as kind of the same thing - when I judge something I am seeing myself/projecting and when I am comparing, I am…what? So in other words what is the difference between comparison and judgement? Thank you for any input you have. 

For more information on Helen's work click here https://wildfigsolutions.co.uk

Excerpt from From the Heart by Nicola DrewExplorations in consciousness and unconditional love 

Not that long ago, I found out that someone who means a lot to me has been deceiving me for months, hiding the truth from me and essentially lying even though we had conversations about that and promised to be radically honest with each other! It hit me like a tonne of bricks. That truth, had I known it, would have changed almost everything in my relation to this connection, my decisions etc. All of the sudden, since I found out, there was very much the separate me who was hurting and felt betrayed by this person, the separate other. I noticed that this has always been a huge thing for me. To know the truth and the thought of someone who I deeply care about hiding something from me (for mostly selfish reasons) that has to do with me and /or directly affects me brings a huge amount of anxiety after the fact, caused by the utter disbelief that that person I trusted fully could have done this to me. But it’s always only after the fact, when I think back to what happened. There is not distrust or anxiety when I enter any relationship, interestingly. I ask myself, what’s at stake here. Why when I find out someone I care about has been deceiving, the utter disbelief that they would do that TO ME and the anxiety that comes with that and then the self-blame for not seeing that are astounding! It doesn’t even help knowing that in a way I’m a hypocrite, because I have hidden the truth from people I care about, I simply thought my reasons were noble! (Laughing at myself as I write this part).  The impact of it really caught me of guard as I never thought that something like this could hit me this hard anymore. I know that this is a personal story but I feel that I’m not the only one who’s been deceived or lied to by people who we care about so I thought others may benefit from you addressing this subject. I’d greatly appreciate that. 

Listener question: I know you've talked before about no self accountability, so I assume that's what you mean.  I'm not sure how it applies?  Do you mean to take NSA for the things that are looking true and real to me that are creating suffering?  I get that when we see something in our past where we've made a mistake we can apologize without any self blame as we acted according to the program running at that time but now see it for what it was, but I can only see how this applies when something falls away, but not what seems true in the present.  Does that make sense?  What does present day accountability look like?

Listener question: I guess I’m curious about your next course and the subliminal recording. The only thing (or things) that hold me back are my concern that my symptoms will worsen during the course. The only reason I am concerned about this is that you mention it in your book Well. I am struggling a lot with my energy levels and I home school my child so I don’t want to get to the point where I literally grind to a halt! My other concern is (without sounding rude) I have done quite a few 3P course and read lots of books but haven’t found the elusive freedom that seems to be on offer. I don’t have a lot of spare cash but I am tempted to do your course and order a subliminal recording in the hope that I might get a bit closer to feeling better and having a easier experience of life. But I guess there is no guarantee that I will see what you will be pointing towards, which is why I am hesitating. As I said, I’m not really sure why I’m emailing you, I guess I want you to say that I will find freedom and I will see more, but obviously you can’t promise that. So I guess I’ll press send and see what you feel inspired to say in response.