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Michael A Heller and Jim Salzman, authors of Mine!, share the hidden rules behind ownership disputes and the secret to better bargaining and leveraging your power as the parent.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full show notesThere’s one slice of pizza left, and all three of your kids want it. One kid argues that he called dibs on it before it even came out of the oven, so it’s definitely his. Another says that since she had track practice today, she’s the hungriest–and therefore it belongs to her. The third declares that the two slices he already ate were wayyyy smaller than the rest, making him the rightful owner of this final piece. Unable to stop bickering over it, they look to you to decide who gets to eat it….but it seems like all three of them are making a pretty good case!Decisions like this can feel impossible, but as parents, we face them almost everyday. Not only are there battles of ownership between the kids themselves, but you and your teen also likely argue over who owns their phones, the car, their bedroom, and even perhaps their body. (Who should get the final say on blue hair and belly button piercings?) When problems arise, it’s not always easy to distinguish what belongs to who, and that can make life pretty difficult!This week, we’re talking about the rules of ownership….and what makes them so complicated. Our guests are Michael Heller and James Salzman, authors of the new book Mine!: How the Hidden Rules of Ownership Control Our Lives. In their work as lawyers and law professors, James and Michael have spent a lot of time thinking about possession and what entitles someone to the rights of ownership.To help us understand how disputes over ownership arise, Michael, James and I are discussing the six rules that people use to argue that they have possession of something. We’re also chatting about why companies think they have the right to sell your data and covering how you can use your ownership position to teach kids important life lessons.The Six Stories of OwnershipWhen your kids are arguing over that last slice of pizza, they’re each telling a different story to prove that they deserve it. This is why settling disputes over ownership is so complicated...since each of the kids is technically correct about having some possession of the slice!Michael and James explain that one of the most common ways we claim ownership is through the principle of first come, first serve. We also often believe something belongs to us through the law of attachment: if the armrest is attached to my chair in the movie theater, it must be mine…..and not my neighbor’s! Possession is another way to claim ownership, Michael and James emphasize. If your teen possesses their laptop, they tend to think they own it–even if you’re the one who paid for it.Interestingly, the dispute over the principle of bodily ownership is one that’s baffled us for decades, say James and Michael. Some people argue that if something is connected to or extending from their physical body they should have total control over that thing, but not everyone agrees! This is particularly relevant for women’s bodies, when it comes to things like surrogacy or abortion, but it’s also prominent in debates over the right to sell one’s organs or the ability to be euthanized. As a parent, you may experience tension around the topic of bodily autonomy when your teen wants to wear certain clothes you can’t condone or dye their hair a color you disapprove of.In the episode, we talk about how parents can deal with the challenge of teens who are eager to get eyebrow piercings or sport a shirt with a provocative saying. We also discuss the two other principles of ownership: possession through labor and familial possession!In some cases, conflict over ownership can spread beyond just person to person combat–when companies believe it’s their right to harvest and sell your data.How Companies “Own” Your DataMost of us wouldn’t say that Google or Apple has a right to document and distribute our information, but those companies might say otherwise. They often argue ownership on the principle of labor, claiming that they worked hard to create the search engine, and therefore have ownership rights over customer data, explain Michael and James.These companies might say that since you are already on their site, your browsing information also belongs to them through the powers of possession and attachment. In the episode, we talk about how you can defend your privacy and emphasize that only you have a right to data about your internet activity.One service you might not consider a threat to your data ownership–but you should be looking out for–is genetic testing, say Michael and James. When you swab your saliva and send it into 23 and me, you’ll learn some interesting facts about your ancestors, but you’re also offering up your genetic data to a company that can then sell it to pharmaceutical and insurance companies. Since the testing companies possess it, they claim ownership to it, and use it to turn a profit.Having ownership over something gives the owner quite a bit of power, which is why companies want to own our data so badly! In the case of business, they want to gain the power of capital, but for parents, the power of ownership can have a whole different dimension.How Parents Can Harness the Power of OwnershipSo the last slice of pizza is just sitting there, waiting for it’s rightful owner to be declared. But the reason kids are looking to you for answers about this particular pizza is because you paid for it! That technically grants you ownership of the pizza, meaning you have the power to decide who gets that final slice.Having the power of ownership can help you teach kids a lesson about equality! In the episode, we flashback to Michael's on childhood. After hearing Michael and his siblings bicker over the biggest piece of pie, his parents instituted a new rule–whomever cuts the pie has to pick their own slice last. This taught Michael pretty quickly to cut all the pieces exactly even so he didn’t get a smaller piece than his siblings. Not only did everyone get a fair and even slice, but Michael himself learned to be more equitable!Although it can be used for good, Michael and Jim explain how some companies use their ownership power to manipulate users. For example, it’s pretty common for teens to swap login information for various streaming services, so they can use Hulu or Disney+ without forking over the dough for a prescription. Although this is technically illegal, sites like HBO Max allow it to continue because it creates video addicts out of young people, so that when they grow up, they’ll end up spending their own cash on the HBO subscription they feel like can’t live without.In the Episode...Although the rules of ownership might get us into some sticky situations, they can also help us distinguish what belongs to whom and why. On top of the topics discussed above, we also cover:Why we should all know about the Coase theoremHow creating a will can save your kids from financial ruinWhy we shouldn’t use analogies to reason with teensHow “first come, first serve” can be harmful for kidsIf you want to find more of Michael and James’ work, you ...

Leah Plunkett, author of Sharenthood, joins Andy for a discussion on the consequences and benefits of our teens’ extensive digital footprint. We leave more data behind us than we think--who is using it and for what purposes?If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full show notesIt’s not always easy to know what to share about your kids online. You might want to celebrate how cute they look in a Winnie the Pooh Halloween costume by posting a picture on Instagram, or share your grievances on Facebook when they just won’t stop wetting the bed. When you decide to snap that pic or type that post however, you might be doing more damage to your kid’s future and reputation than you realize.Today we’re talking about how, even when parents have the best intentions, they may submit their kids to certain risks by posting information online. So much of your information can be found and used online in ways that can be harmful to your children, ways you might not even expect. Although social media can be a great place to share and socialize with friends and family, extra vigilance about your kid’s internet presence is becoming more and more necessary as it becomes cheaper and easier for companies and individuals to collect your data.In this episode, we’re sitting down with Leah Plunkett, author of Sharenthood: Why We Should Think Before We Talk about Our Kids Online. Leah serves as a Faculty Affiliate at the Berkman Klein Center for Internet and Society at Harvard University, and is a leading expert on digital privacy and data collection, especially among young folks. Leah’s expertise on digital media, privacy, and adolescence make for an eye-opening interview about how you can guide yourself and your kids towards more responsible, literate use of the online landscape.Leah and I discuss a broad range of topics, covering everything from why your kids might be affected by your seemingly innocuous Facebook posts, what information is at risk of being collected and exploited from your online activity, and whether or not parents should consider implementing surveillance technology to spy on their teen’s internet behavior.Why You Should Watch What You ShareAs a parent, it can be really rewarding to log on and share what your kids are up to; it gives you the chance to chat with other parents and include your friends and family in your child’s growth! However, there are some things Leah says you might want to be aware of before you hit post...because when something goes online there’s a chance that it can never truly be erased.For starters, posting a picture of your kid with frosting all over their face and down their shirt might seem pretty cute to you, but could potentially embarrass them down the line. Although this may not seem super obvious when kids are still young, bullies can emerge as your kid reaches adolescence, bullies who might be on the prowl for images and facts about your teen that can be used to humiliate them. Leah suggests taking some time to think about how what you post might come around to bite your kid in the butt in a few years.There are also some frightening figures online who can use information about your kids for nefarious purposes. By sharing data about a kid’s whereabouts, their likes and dislikes, what they fear or where they hang out, you may be submitting that information to dangerous folks who lurk on the internet. Now, this doesn’t mean you should immediately sound the alarm and remove every trace of your kid’s existence from Facebook, but there are some ways you can moderate your posts to ensure your kid is safe from these internet predators. Leah and I talk more about this in the episode.The bottom line is that kids are generally too young to consent to being posted about and shared on the web, so Leah says it’s important to take some serious caution about how and where they are portrayed. While you may only have the best intentions, there are always ways your kid’s data could be used to harm them. This goes beyond just cyberbullying or internet predators, with big tech likely collecting huge amounts of data on you and your kids in recent times and using it for all sorts of purposes.The Dark Truth About Data CollectionYou may have heard that companies like Facebook and Google could be collecting some of your data and using it to give you personalized content or targeted ads--but are you aware of just how much data all sorts of companies are gathering about you and your family?Leah dives into just how much information companies are collecting, and how they’re using it. Surprisingly, companies can collect data from things as seemingly innocent as the learning software that your kids use at school, or games they download and play on their phones. Frustratingly, there is not a cohesive location, method or protocol for people to find out how their data is being used.By collecting data about kids online tendencies, attitudes, and habits, companies are able to understand how your child thinks and behaves. This information can then be used in decisions about whether to hire them or grant them admission to college when they grow up. There are hiring companies that harness and combine all of this data to know how well an individual will perform as an employee. When faced with a large pool of applicants, businesses can pay to find out who is the best candidate for the job, and who can be disqualified.Although this might worry you, don’t fret. Leah and I discuss possible solutions to this issue in the episode, talking about specific ways companies can become more accountable in the future for the spread of your data. You might also be wondering, however, how you can talk to your teen about all this, and if you should step in to monitor their online activity. Luckily, Leah’s got some answers for you.Why Surveilling Your Child Might Not Be The AnswerWhen you become aware of just how much data about your kid is up for collection, it can be tempting to install software that controls what media your kid engages with and how much time they spend browsing the web. However, Leah recommends refraining from doing so, as this teaches them a damaging lesson--that surveillance is a natural part of interacting with the online space.Instead, Leah suggests having open and value-based discussions with them about media literacy and their media usage. Although you might feel nervous or unsure about how to approach them about these ideas, Leash stresses how essential these talks can be. She and I chat more in the episode about specific ways you can initiate this kind of discussion and methods you can use to guide your teen away from potentially risky internet behavior.According to Leah, the important thing is making sure your kids have the agency and the ability to make their own judgments about what’s safe and what’s not. When it comes down to it, that’s what matters most about helping keep our kids safe online. We want them to grow up independent and free to follow their chosen path in life, without data collection or negative online forces getting in the way. By making sure our kids can protect themselves, we give them the gift of a safe future.In the Episode…It was very eye-opening to chat with Leah this week about the many dangers kids face online. On top of the topics mentioned above, we talk about:<...