Charlotte Markey, author of Adultish, joins us to discuss teen body image and well-being, sharing research-based strategies for fostering body gratitude and combating diet culture.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesAs a parent, you want your teen to feel confident, secure, and comfortable in their own skin. However, in today’s image-conscious society, this is no easy feat. From advertisements filled with unrealistic standards to the pressures of social media, teens face significant challenges that can negatively impact their body image and overall mental health. Even the most well-meaning parents can inadvertently contribute to their teens' body image issues. The messages we send through our own actions and words can sometimes do more harm than good. Understanding these subtleties is crucial for promoting a healthier self-view in our teenagers.Today, we’re diving into the science behind teen body image with Dr. Charlotte Markey, an expert in body image, eating behaviors, and weight management for over 25 years, and author of four books, including the latest, "Adultish: The Body Image Book for Life." Charlotte is here to provide valuable insights into how body image develops during the transition to adulthood and shares practical advice on how parents can guide their teens through this vulnerable period.The Power of Body GratitudeOne of the fundamental strategies Charlotte emphasizes is practicing body gratitude and appreciation. Rather than focusing on our perceived flaws, we should highlight the aspects of our bodies that we like or appreciate. Charlotte discusses the importance of reversing the negative internal narratives that many of us - and our children - have internalized over the years.By fostering a culture at home where positive body talk is normalized, parents can help their teens develop a more affirmative and appreciative relationship with their bodies. She shares simple, research-backed exercises that parents and teens can do together to promote body gratitude, which can have immediate positive effects on body image and general well-being.Battling Diet CultureDiet culture is pervasive and often sends harmful messages about body image and self-worth. Charlotte takes a firm stand against these messages, arguing that most popular dieting methods are not only ineffective but can also be harmful. Instead, she advocates for intuitive eating - a philosophy that encourages individuals to listen to their body’s hunger and fullness cues and to eat in a way that feels natural and satisfying.She breaks down ways parents can combat diet culture at home by modeling intuitive eating and creating a positive food environment that doesn’t demonize certain foods or glorify others. Charlotte also gives pointers on how to talk to your teens about diet culture critically, helping them recognize and resist its harmful influences.Social Media and Body ImageSocial media can be a double-edged sword. While it offers incredible connectivity, it also exposes teens to continuous comparisons and unrealistic body standards. Charlotte elaborates on research showing the negative impacts of social media on teen body image and mental health, and she offers practical advice for mitigating these effects. She suggests having open, critical discussions about the content teens interact with on social platforms, encouraging them to follow positive and inspiring profiles while unfollowing those that focus on unrealistic beauty standards. Limiting daily social media use can also lead to significant improvements in mental health and reduce anxiety and FOMO (fear of missing out).Fostering Resilient Body ImageParents play a pivotal role in shaping their teens’ body image and self-esteem. Charlotte discusses the importance of open communication and creating a home environment where body positivity and self-acceptance are the norms. She shares tips on how parents can better support their teens by offering non-judgmental spaces for discussion and by validating their feelings and experiences.In the Episode...Listening to this episode will equip you with effective strategies for promoting a healthier body image in your teens. You'll learn about:The role of body gratitude in improving self-imageCombating diet culture and promoting intuitive eatingThe impact of social media on teen body imageDeveloping a supportive home environment for positive body imageIdentifying maladaptive appearance investmentsTeaching teens how to support peers struggling with body image issuesThis conversation with Charlotte is an enlightening look into the science behind teen body image and how parents can make a significant positive impact. For more insights, follow Charlotte on Instagram and TikTok at @char_markey. Don't forget to share and subscribe to Talking to Teens to catch all our upcoming episodes.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Tanith Carey, author of What's My Tween Thinking?, returns to discuss the distinct challenges and opportunities of parenting tweens, focusing on identity development, handling changing family dynamics, navigating peer influence, and fostering emotional awareness and introspection in 8 to 12-year-olds.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesAs parents, witnessing our child morph from a carefree kid into a tween can sometimes feel like navigating uncharted waters. The tween years, traditionally seen as a quiet phase before the storm of the teenage years, are now understood to be a crucial period of identity development and emotional growth. It's a time when children start to question their place in the world, develop deeper peer relationships, and often begin to seek independence from their families.This week on Talking to Teens, we’re joined by Tanith Carey, a renowned author and educator known for her insightful books on parenting, including the highly-praised What's My Tween Thinking?. Tanith offers her expertise to unravel the complex emotional landscape of tweens and provides practical advice for guiding them through this pivotal stage.Identity Exploration and Peer InfluenceThe tween years are marked by a significant exploration of identity. Tanith explains that as children move through this phase, they start to compare themselves to their peers, which can lead to new insecurities and doubts. The establishment of more defined friendship groups also introduces tweens to the complexities of social hierarchies and conflicts. Tanith stresses the importance of preparing tweens for these experiences by discussing the broader picture, helping them understand the nature of social dynamics and encouraging self-reflection and emotional awareness.Navigating Family Dynamics and IndependenceAs tweens seek more independence, family dynamics can shift dramatically. Tanith shares how parents can manage these changes, from the tween's desire for private space to their evolving way of relating to family members. She emphasizes respect for the tween's growing need for autonomy while maintaining open lines of communication and connection.Tackling Tough Topics and Social Media InfluenceTanith and Andy dive into some of the more challenging aspects of parenting tweens, including handling exposure to negative societal messages and navigating the digital landscape. Tanith offers advice on discussing sensitive topics like appearance, peer pressure, and the impact of social media, highlighting the importance of encouraging tweens to critically evaluate the messages they receive and to develop a strong sense of self-awareness.Encouraging Emotional Awareness and IntrospectionOne of the key themes throughout the episode is the importance of fostering emotional awareness and introspection in tweens. Tanith shares strategies for helping tweens tune into their feelings and bodily sensations as a way of understanding their emotions, making healthier choices, and developing resilience. This focus on introspection is particularly vital in an age dominated by digital distractions and societal pressures.In the Episode…Apart from the topics mentioned above, Tanith and Andy also discuss:  - The implications of early puberty and the impact on tweens' self-image.  - Strategies for encouraging open discussions about difficult topics, including misogyny and consent.  - The importance of modeling healthy emotional regulation and empathy.  - Ways to support tweens in finding their "spark" or passion.  - Techniques for balancing screen time with real-world activities and social interactions.Tanith Carey's work provides invaluable insights into the tween mind, offering practical tips and compassionate guidance for parents navigating these formative years. Her evidence-based approach emphasizes the importance of understanding, communication, and emotional intelligence in fostering healthy development and strong parent-tween relationships.Don’t miss this enlightening conversation on what it means to parent a tween in today's world. Tune in to learn more about how you can support your tween’s journey of self-discovery and emotional growth. Subscribe to the Talking to Teens podcast for more expert advice on the art and science of parenting teenagers.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Margo is joined by independent artist and art business agency owner, Sarah Lörenk. Sarah graduated with a BFA in 2011 and has worked as an independent artist since then. She first began her creative business as a stationary designer moving from retail into wholesale before venturing into street art. She learned through several iterations of her business the difference between artist and entrepreneur and realized there was a big gap in the market for supporting artists as entrepreneurs. Now, through her company, The Time Art, she provides artists with the essential tools and support to help them run successful and sustainable creative businesses.    Margo and Sarah discuss: Her creative journey from stationary to graffiti and business management Selling wholesale versus retail as a paper goods creator Setting goals in relation to who you’re marketing to Visual intelligence The fundamental differences between artists and entrepreneurs and why you have to have business structure if you want to turn a profit from your art The pros and cons of social media as an artist Why you need to have content pillars and what they look like Visibility versus profitability And more!   Mentioned in this episode: Visual Intelligence: Sharpen Your Perception, Change Your Life by Amy Herman   Connect with Sarah: https://www.thetime-art.com/ https://www.instagram.com/thetime.art/ https://www.tiktok.com/@thetime.art Business Model Template  

Margo is joined by friend and creative whom she met while working at Hallmark in Kansas City, Abby Campbell. Abby has always had a passion for photos of all kinds and the love of visual art took her to the University of Central Missouri where she received a BS in Broadcasting and Film. This is where she began to really learn the art of storytelling through photos and video.  Fast forward, she spent time working on an outdoor television show, producing national and regional television commercials, and informational/how-to videos before moving on to other projects that continued to hone her craft in visual storytelling.   Margo and Abby discuss: Her creative journey, why she may be considered a generalist, and her experience working within an agency/corporate model and freelancing The direct to consumer and social selling business models and what she finds most interesting about each Retail casualties and how the standard consumer shopping experience has changed  Finding the true cost of your time as an artist The double edged sword of social media Being authentic to yourself and finding balance as a creative Breaking the rules in creativity Their joint passion for helping others succeed   Mentioned in this episode: Demdaco Willowtree   Connect with Abby: https://www.abbyjcampbell.com/ www.instagram.com/ajcampkc

Judith Warner, author of And Then They Stopped Talking to Me, speaks with us about why the middle school years are such trying times for parents and teens. Judith shares her thoughts on how to make things better for everyone.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full show notesWe all remember middle school….probably not too fondly! Between the relentless social drama to the embarrassing body changes, middle school is pretty much the worst. Not only are kids today dealing with the things we dealt with, they’re also juggling the pressures of social media, an intense political climate and a terrifying pandemic as the cherry on top! Growing up through all this is no easy task, and neither is parenting our kids through it.It’s hard enough watching teens struggle with these difficult years, but when they won’t talk to us, it can feel impossible to be a good parent. Unfortunately, it's not uncommon for pubescent kids to suddenly shut parents out with no explanation. With everything going on in their lives, a lot of kids feel overwhelmed and afraid to open up, or they think it’s their job to go at it alone. How can we get through to preteens and remind them that we’re here to help them get through the perils of middle school life?To find out, we’re talking with Judith Warner, author of And Then They Stopped Talking to Me: Making Sense of Middle School. Judith is the bestselling author of multiple parenting books as well as a senior fellow at the Center for American progress–and those are just a few of her many accolades! In her work and personal life, Judith recognized that parents of middle schoolers seemed to really be struggling, but not sharing their woes with one another out of embarrassment or fear. That’s why she’s decided to write this book: to help parents wrap their heads around this wild time, and realize they’re not alone.In the episode, Judith and I are covering why middle school is one of the most painful periods–but also one of the most important. We’re discussing why this age is so hard on parents, and what we can do about it. Plus, we’re addressing how you can get a middle schooler to finally open up, even if they’ve been shutting you out!Why Middle School MattersWith all the hormones and heartbreak, middle school can be a time we’d all frankly like to forget. So why is it that we seem to remember the pain of puberty so well? Judith explains that the experiences kids have during these years are incredibly formative and often shape adult life! In our interview, we get into some fascinating research about how those cringey middle school moments can actually inform our way of seeing the world.For growing kids, the early adolescent years contain the most dramatic brain changes since their first three years of life, says Judith. New connections are made and old connections are shut down by a process called pruning. With all the changes going on, kids’ brains are more vulnerable than ever to acquiring new capabilities, which is awesome...but they’re also more susceptible to social conflict, mental health issues, substance abuse, and more. In the episode, Judith and I get into how marijuana is a particularly important force to look out for during these pre-teen years.All these puberty problems aren’t just a sign of the times. As Judith explains in our interview, kids have been struggling with middle school since middle schools were created in the early 20th century! For the first time, kids are really getting out of their social bubbles and entering a larger pool of classmates. Often, it’s a brutal introduction to critical decision making and independence. In our talk, Judith and I go over some troubleshooting strategies to help pre-teens who are really going through it.But middle school isn’t just hard for kids...it’s also tough on their parents.Parenting Through PubertyThere are a lot of reasons why this period is so hard for parents. For some, it’s challenging to give their kids the independence that middle school requires. Others are frustrated by how their child suddenly shuts them out when they hit age eleven or twelve. There's no shortage of frustrations in the family when kids are in the midst of growing and figuring out the world.Judith and I chat about how this wasn't always a problem for parents of gen X-ers! Adults were typically less involved in what kids were doing in those days, and didn’t have as much trouble letting kids do their own thing. But our culture has changed. For better or for worse, parents have become a lot more cautious and protective over kids’ well-being. Judith explains how social drama and cliques are totally normal happenings for middle schoolers, but parents who are used to being enraptured in their kid’s lives might really struggle with letting it all unfold in front of them.In the episode, Judith suggests practicing self awareness and thinking about where you’re at emotionally before stepping into a kid’s situation. If you’re feeling anxious about your teen’s day-today life it’s likely you’ll end up looking for info to confirm your worries–and finding it even when it’s not there. Plus, if kids are going through something, Judith emphasizes that throwing your own feelings and opinions in the mix will likely just make things even more complicated for your kid.But what do you do when you’re kid won’t talk to you at all? One day, they’re your closest pal, and the next, they won’t even tell you what they did in class that day. Although it might be tough, Judith and I are here to help!Getting Kids to Open UpAs we’ve mentioned, kids in middle school usually don’t want to talk to parents about what’s happening with them...or talk to parents at all. And although kids probably aren’t trying to hurt your feelings, it can be super painful when it feels as though the line of connection between the two of you has been severed. Luckily, Judith has a tried and true method for prompting a teen to talk to you again.For a more fruitful conversation with a middle schooler, Judith suggests showing interest in their lives–but not too much. The last thing kids want is to feel like they're being interrogated or put on the spot. If you open up, you’ll have to tread lightly so they feel comfortable. Instead of throwing a million questions as soon as they walk in the door at 3 pm, try casually bringing up a concern while the two of you are driving. Your eyes are on the road, not staring deep into their soul, so they might feel a bit more at ease!Beyond initiating a talk, Judith and I cover how to have all kinds of tough convos in the interview, whether it’s handling the teenage obsession with popularity, dealing with social rejection, or handling substance use.In the Episode….My talk with Judith was incredibly informative and surprising! In addition to the topics mentioned above, we discuss:What middle schoolers did in the nineteenth centuryHow to be a positive presence for a pre-teenWhat psychologists are saying about marijuana use during pubertyHow our competitive culture might be hurting our kidsIf you enjoyed listening to Judith, check out more of her work at judithwarner.com. Don’t forget to subscribe and share with another middle school parent! We’ll see you next week.

Lindsey Sealey, girl-advocate and author of the new book Rooted, Resilient, and Ready, re-joins us to discuss the tips and tricks from her latest book on raising strong girls, resilient and ready for the path ahead but firmly rooted in who they are!If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full show notesThe hum of the morning is different today. There is a nervous electricity in the air, as everyone around the house rushes through their final checklists. Notebooks and pencils are shoved into backpack pockets, there’s a frantic rush to cut tags off her new top, and last she grabs the new phone she got two weeks ago.It’s the first day of high school, and your teenage daughter is about to walk into a whole new world of feelings, friendships, and challenges. On the drive to school, your mind races back to everything you’ve done while raising a teenage daughter. What have you done to instill confidence and resilience in your daughter?Preparing teenagers for this stage of life is no cakewalk. The difference between middle school and high school is massive, and nobody wants their child to walk into a new environment without any preparation. Teens, especially girls, can become so vulnerable if they aren’t ready to adapt to the new situations and challenges of high school. For these reasons, it is crucial that parents are skilled at raising a teenage daughter.With these thoughts on my mind, I invited Lindsey Sealey back to the show. Previously, she guest starred on Episode 74, where she shared tips and tricks from her book Growing Strong Girls.If you don’t know Lindsey, let me tell you about her awesome experience. Lindsey is an incredible writer, who regularly contributes to the Huffington Post Canada and Spoke. She has written two books on parenting teen girls, with the newest being Rooted, Resilient, and Ready: Empowering Teen Girls As They Grow.This week, I’m stoked to hear Lindsey share her tips on raising a teenage daughter. Lindsey is incredibly smart and thoughtful, and the time she has spent working with teen girls in workshop environments has given her expertise on raising a teenage daughter. This week, Lindsey and I discuss everything from the digital world to mental health.The Digital FrontierThe rise of social media websites can detract from raising a teenage daughter. From Snapchat to Instagram and Facebook, anyone can spend hours on these sites, becoming lost in the digital world. If your daughter falls into the rabbit hole of image-driven social media sites, she could lose focus on what it means to be herself. Raising a teenage daughter who is only driven by image can cause numerous mental health issues because of obsessing about images that are unrealistic for many girls.There are strategies that parents can use while raising a teenage daughter to prevent her from losing herself to the image culture on social media. A good way for parents to approach excessive social media use by setting limits on apps. While it can be easy to set limits on apps, it might be trickier for parents to get teen daughters to agree to adult supervision.It’s easier to set limits with your daughter beforehand than to create guidelines after she’s had access to a new phone. One trick, Lindsey tells me, is to create a contract of expectations between you and your daughter before she gets her phone. If you are planning to buy her a new smartphone, have a discussion about time usage and limits beforehand! Having this conversation before buying a new phone can help parents raising a teenage daughter because it is easier to set limits beforehand than to take away privileges.Raising your teen daughter with limits on digital life can have a positive affect on her mental health. Without limits to the digital frontier, image obsession caused by social media can seriously detract your teen from living her best life. If mental health becomes an issue for your daughter, what can parents do to help?The Mental Health SceneOne day, you go to pick your daughter up from school but she seems a little more distant than usual.In the back of the car, she quietly scrolls through her phone. You try to engage in conversation, and receive mixed responses. Strangely, though, it appears that she isn’t interested in chatting. Once you get home, she drops her school gear and hides away in her room for the afternoon. What’s going on?Left alone, thoughts can turn negative, and possibly spiral into greater problems such as anxiety and depression. Lindsey told me that engaging in a dialogue around mental health issues is the best approach a parent can take to improve teen mental health. The specific strategy she mentioned was the idea of taking a positivist approach towards mental health issues.The positivist approach is a good method for parenting a teen daughter because it allows you the chance to reframe your teen’s emotional response to a problem.For example, your teen daughter might be distraught because she didn’t make the cuts for the school play. A positivist approach to the situation would be to highlight other opportunities that your teen daughter can explore now that she has extra time.Trying to have these conversations won’t be easy, but they will help in raising a teenage daughter. Sensitive subjects can be hard to discuss because talking about sadness won’t always make someone feel happier. Don’t give up! It’s better that you try to have these conversations as opposed to letting things go unsaid. In making these attempts, parents can practice raising a daughter who is grounded emotionally with a strong sense of self-worth.Additional Tips and TricksRaising a teenage daughter can be challenging for parents to navigate. At the same time, watching your girl grow into a strong, resilient young woman will be one of the most beautiful and rewarding things you will witness in your entire life. In addition to discussing the digital world and mental health, Lindsey shared her advice with me on a number of other topics related to raising a teenage daughter, including:How to help your girl find her “sparkle”What to do if you don’t like the direction your teen is goingThe masks that girls wearHow to connect with your teen in the digital world5 common lies used as conversation startersIncredible! Lindsey is such a smart, spoken woman with so much great advice about raising a teenage daughter. Check out her book, Rooted, Resilient, and Ready: Empowering Teen Girls As They Grow for more great info on how to raise your teen daughter. Good luck, hope you tune in again soon! Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Dana Suchow, founder of Do The Hotpants, discusses what parents need to know to discuss eating disorders with a teenager. She also explains how to connect with teenagers about exercise in a positive way, words you should absolutely avoid when talking about food, and a lesson in where negative body image comes from.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full show notesIf no one takes care to combat eating disorders in teenagers, unhealthy dieting can lead to damaging long term health problems. In serious cases, malnutrition can lead to death.Does your teen seem uncomfortable about what they eat? Does your teen struggle to keep weight on? Do you even know what your teenager thinks about his or her body? These can be unfamiliar and uncomfortable questions, but it’s so important to ask them.The secretive nature of eating disorders in teenagers can make unhealthy dieting a deceptively difficult problem to identify and address.To be clear, having a teenager who struggles with body image or food consumption does not mean you are a bad parent! Billions of advertisement dollars have gone into convincing all of us that our bodies are ugly. Advertising companies know we buy more stuff when we feel bad about ourselves, so they use billboards and TV ads to train us to hate our own bodies. In this way, eating disorders in teenagers are the natural product of emotional marketing. While these ads primarily target girls, boys are affected, too.My special guest today believes that in just 10 to 20 years, advertising will put just as many boys at risk of developing eating disorders as girls. If this is true, then eating disorders in teenagers will soon be a more relevant issue for all parents, not just parents of girls. So what can parents do to combat a thriving industry that’s invested in teens hating their own bodies? I spoke with Dana Suchow to get an idea, and it turns out there is a lot that parents can do.Dana is the founder of DoTheHotpants.com, a website that she initially started as a fashion blog. Eventually, she transformed the website into a platform for people to safely share their own stories about body image and eating disorders. Having struggled with an eating disorder herself, Dana has personal experience on the matter. She knows firsthand how important it is to have conversations about a healthy understanding of body image.A Delicate Subject MatterEating disorders in teenagers can be an extremely sensitive subject to breach. They are very secretive and highly personal. Parents need to be very careful with how they approach this subject because even though you mean well, bringing it up in the wrong way can actually backfire.Dana remembers a personal example of when a conversation about her eating disorder went poorly. Dana’s roommate in college noticed how she was struggling to eat food. Her roommate vocalized her concern for Dana, but Dana remembers getting instantly defensive. She felt like her roommate was talking down to her, even though her roommate was really trying to help.Dana explains how people who struggle with eating disorders want so desperately to hide what’s going on. When a teen feels like their secret is being threatened, they can become fragile and defensive. Striking the right tone to navigate this conversation is tricky. What helps address eating disorders in teenagers most, Dana says, is that parents get on the same level as their teens.Getting on the same level means empathizing, something Dana believes parents need to focus on. Empathic words like, “I get it,” and, “you’re not alone,” mean so much to teens who struggle with an eating disorder. If parents share they also feel down about their body from time to time, teens might be more inclined to open up about themselves. On the other hand, their defenses will stay up if they sense you are mad, or disappointed, or ashamed.In order to understand eating disorders in teenagers, though, you’ll want to have a better awareness of the greater problem: uneducation.“Uneducating,” or Questioning Negative InputCurrently, we live in a world that is so fixated on thinness and youth. You can probably imagine the “ideal” body in your head! It’s the body represented on 99% of movie posters: a thin, young, white woman who has no disabilities. She has no body hair, perfect makeup, and the list goes on and on.We need to unlearn this!When we don’t have representation of all the ways girls can exist, we start looking at girls through a narrow lens. Dana believes that advertisements teach us there’s only one, narrow type of girl can be loved, which is related to her body type. The negativity your teen has towards certain body types (even her own), isn’t coming from her voice alone. Part of that voice is modeled after what she sees and hears represented in popular culture. This prejudice has been ingrained by marketing tactics for so long that we might hate any body that doesn’t look like the singular, narrow norm.However, you can’t shame women for trying to fit in. We live in a world that rewards people for fitting in, so instead of judging those who represent unrealistic norms, we should ask insightful questions about unlearning.For example, Dana references the movie Wonder Woman, a great movie in many ways, that also provides parents an opportunity to talk about unlearning the “normal” appearance of Hollywood stars.If you go watch Wonder Woman with your girls, you can ask them after the movie:“When did all the Amazonian women get electrolysis to get rid of their body hair? When did they all find the time to shave?”You want your child to learn that every woman deserves to fit in. This means questioning why not all women are represented in popular culture. Like with Wonder Woman, you can enjoy a movie and still question if it’s encouraging a culture that promotes eating disorders in teenagers.This is only one of a dozen different topics I went through with Dana!An Ongoing ConversationWhen discussing eating disorders in teenagers, there are so many angles, rabbit holes, and doors that lead to the next. We certainly couldn’t touch on every aspect of this discussion in one interview, but there is one thing Dana wants to make clear:Parents are not powerless when it comes to addressing eating disorders in teenagers!Eating disorders in teenagers is a delicate subject matter, but champions like Dana are working hard to help us parents learn more so we can help our kids. If you were to fill a book with everything we talked about in this interview, these would be the chapters:The un-shaming processAccepting the power of advertisements“Pulling back the curtain” on these industriesDestigmatizing “fat” bodiesIdolizing looks vs idolizing healthThe love-hate relationship with social mediaRedefining “overweight” and debunking the BMI (again!)Positive language around teen exerciseThe privilege of “clean eating”The scope of this problem is massive, but sculptable. If we’re going to protect against eating disorders in teenagers, we’re going to have to do the work! You can help do your part by giving this episode a listen! Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and

Paul Angone, author of 101 Questions You Need to Ask In Your Twenties, discusses the process of finding your identity and your unique "secret sauce" to bring to the world. The key is to push teens to take on increasingly more responsibility in their lives while also taking the right kinds of risks.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full show notesSimilarities between Adolescence and Your 20sWhile at times we feel freed from the teenage identity issues that held us back in our youth, there are moments in our adult life when we feel just as small and humiliated as we did at 16. It’s undeniable that recovering from hardship can gradually make you more resilient and able to face challenges. If dealt with healthily, lessons learned from hardship can inspire creative and professional pursuits later in life. However, you must first develop the maturity and introspective skills to be able to look back and laugh, knowing that you’re wiser because of the mistakes you’ve made.A variety of pressures can contribute to teenage identity issues. While it’s not necessary for a teen to decide what they want to do with their lives at 14, it’s at this age teens begin thinking about how their grades, extracurricular activities, and hobbies can determine what they do with their future. Comparing your teen's successes to those of peers can further complicate this issue.Is it bad that your teen is only focusing on soccer while their friend plays two sports while also putting in volunteer hours? It can be damaging to a teen’s self esteem to give in to comparing themself to their peers. While healthy competition between teens can be used as a motivational tool, comparing often gives way to feelings of inferiority. Instead of motivating a teen to work harder, it might cause them to have a “why should I even try?” attitude.As a parent, you should avoid telling your teen what to do with their life because they might directly rebel against you or feel like their choices belong to you, not to them. It’s a tricky line you walk as a parent; you want to help them through any teenage identity issues by showing them their unrealized strengths, yet still give them freedom. Teenagers crave control and it would disservice your relationship if you were to push them too hard—but what if their lack of motivation is getting in the way of their success?For Paul Angone, the answer to these teenage identity issues came in the form of a question––101 to be exact. Often labeled as a one of the "leading voices to millenials,” Angone is the author of 101 Questions You Need to Ask in Your Twenties (And Let's Be Honest, Your Thirties too). He has also studied the generational differences between Millenials and Baby Boomers, and started the popular blog All Groan Up a place for those asking “what now?”In this episode, we discuss how Paul uses 101 questions to help teens discover who they are, to use success and failure to shape (but not define) your future, and to recognize the false facades social media often presents as reality. Though this book focuses on your 20s, in this interview we dive into how reading this book during adolescence can actually be a “cheat sheet” to overcoming teenage identity issues and determining what you want to do with your future.Finding your Secret Sauce and Learning from FailuresPaul talks at length about teenage identity issues and the process of finding your “secret sauce.” This sauce is a combination of your god-given strengths as well as strengths you’ve acquired by persevering through hard times. For example, your teen may be naturally gifted at math but what really makes them unique is how failing a history test forced them to study harder than ever before. Getting a good grade in history meant more to your teen than excelling in math because their hard work actually paid off. Your teen’s secret sauce is not only what they’re naturally gifted at but the work they are willing to put in to gain new strengths.The key to encouraging teens to take on more responsibilities is teaching them to take the right kind of risks. You need to help them get out of their comfort zones and try something they are afraid of without causing teenage identity issues. It’s important to show your teen everything they can gain from taking a risk––new friends, new exciting experiences, a more well-rounded outlook on life.Paul recognizes that while getting your teen to try new things may be challenging, the reward oftentimes outweighs the risk. Things that seem unfamiliar and intimidating can end up being formative experiences for teens. Say your kid is unsure of whether they want to go to tennis camp or not. Perhaps this is the first time they’ll be away from you for a week. There’s a chance that they won’t like the other kids or that they’ll realize they’re the worst tennis player there. But maybe, being the “worst” will force them to work harder than everyone else and to learn from older kids who were once in their place.Like taking risks, assigning new responsibilities to teens doesn’t come without its struggles. There may be times your teen will fail because they are unfamiliar with handling big responsibilities of their own. It’s tempting as a parent to automatically drop everything and take some of the stress off their teen’s hands. In order to help kids overcome teenage identity issues, Paul urges you to not succumb to this temptation right away. He states that you need to determine how big this fall is going to be and how much it’ll be worth it to come out on the other side a more capable person.Most of the time, experiencing new things or taking on a new responsibility is not as scary as it seems. Part of overcoming teenage identity issues is dependent on how much they learn from new experiences or even failures. Sometimes the risks they take may even lead to their greatest achievements.Social Media Pressures on Teen IdentityPaul also touches on the role that social media plays in contributing to teenage identity issues. He discusses the idea of Obsessive Comparison Disorder, which is perceived success that other people are displaying online. Paul has figured out a whole new dimension to the fears that arise from the presence of social media in a teen’s life, and in this episode he dives in to how parents can help reduce the impact it has on their kid.Of course no one wants to reveal their greatest insecurities online. But teens aren’t wired to see this when they’re looking at a picture on Instagram of someone winning 1st place, or at prom with their beautiful girlfriend, or getting accepted to their first pick of college. They only see what they don’t have. In this episode, Paul explains how parents can help teens understand the false facades of social media along with other tactics to overcoming teenage identity issues, including…Helping your teens find their soul values-- core beliefs that drive their future decisionsDetermining what your teens are and aren’t willing to sacrifice for successTeaching your kids to think before they postThis was a very uplifting and therapeutic episode that really gets you to think about personal growth you’ve made since your teen years. I hope that this 43 minute discussion with Paul Angone will help you share with your kids how hard times and failures in life can help them overcome teenage identity issues. Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on