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Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT
Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast delivers effective, compassionate, & science-based tools for anyone with Anxiety, OCD, Panic, and Depression.
Ep. 64: Don't Try Harder, Try Different with Patrick McGrath
Don't Try Harder, Try Different with Patrick McGrath Welcome back to YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST! We have some SUPER exciting news this week. We are offering a NEW and FREE training called “The 10 Things you absolutely need to know about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).” This webinar will be great if you are new to OCD and looking for some direction. It will also be a fantastic refresher into the key concepts of OCD treatment, if you are already on your road to recovery. If you are interested, click HERE to check it out. Next piece of exciting news! ERP school will be here in less than ONE WEEK! Heck yes!! Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) School is an online course for those who don’t have access to a therapist who practices ERP and science-based skills for OCD. I will be talking a lot about this in the next few weeks, as the doors are only open to purchase ERP School from September 6th, 2018 until September 20th, 2018. Keep it in mind that this course will only be available to purchase during that time. ONE WEEK!! It is right around the corner and I could not be happier and more excited. Do you ever feel like you are doing the same thing, over and over, with no change in result? You realize your fruitless outcomes and you decide you are going to try harder this time. You might even make a pact with yourself that you will NEVER do that one thing again and you promise yourself that this is the time it will be successful. But, just like last time, you get the same result and you are left feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. Well, if this is you, this episode is going to change some things for you. This week we have a wonderful interview with Patrick McGrath, Ph.D., who is a psychologist based out of Illinois specializing in the treatment of anxiety disorders. In addition to being the president of a private practice group called Anxiety Centers of Illinois, Patrick McGrath is also the Clinical Director of the AMITA Health Alexian Brothers Behavioral Health Hospital's Center for Anxiety and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Program and President of OCD-Midwest, an affiliate of the International OCD Foundation. I met Patrick at the IOCDF Conference and we immediately hit it off and agreed to do an impromptu interview. It was so much fun! You might even notice it was more of a conversation than an interview, but I loved it and was so thrilled to hear Patrick’s wisdom. If you are at all interested in taking the Exposure & Response Prevention School (ERP SCHOOL) course, Patrick’s talk today might help motivate you towards that goal. He beautifully talks about how to DON’T TRY HARDER, TRY DIFFERENT and this is definitely a concept you have to consider when starting ERP. Patrick also discusses the steps his clients need to know to move towards a “Don't try harder, try different” approach. Click HERE for more information on his stress management workbook titled Don't Try Harder, Try Different and HERE for more information on his book titled The OCD Answer Book: Professional Answers to More Than 250 Top Questions about Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. I hope you enjoy this interview as much as I did! If you are at all interested in taking the Exposure & Response Prevention School (ERP SCHOOL) online course for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), click HERE.
44:5130/08/2018
Ep. 63: Addressing Fear Like A Scientist
Addressing Fear Like A Scientist In this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, we talk about Addressing Fear like Scientists. Not the scary white haired kind! In this week's episode, we talk about becoming scientists who run studies that are rational, evidence-based, and experienced-based. Each time we have a thought, we have an opportunity to be a scientist. Don’t worry about those white coats. You don’t need them for these experiments. And you don’t need to have a fully fledged scientist degree either. The human brain has up to 70,000 thoughts per day. That is a LOT of thoughts. When it comes to managing anxiety, much of the work is being able to identify which thoughts that are distorted (or errors) and which are not, so we can respond skillfully and mindfully. This is not an easy feat and takes ongoing work and courage. The other day, I started thinking about all the lovely people who are being tormented by scary intrusive thoughts, unwanted emotions, and sensations that make them think and feel like there is something wrong with them. Sometimes these intrusive thoughts make us believe that something bad will happen, or that terror is on its way. Often when we have these unwanted, intrusive thoughts, we go into a pattern of trying to disprove these possibilities. We start to shift our day, just to prove that this is in no way possible. We try to make the uncertain, certain. The problem with this is that we are not actually resolving the issues in REALITY. What we do when we have these obsessions is we create a new reality where the fear is less likely to occur. We do this by avoiding events or people or places. We also try to ensure that our fear won't come true by mentally reviewing all of the possible scenarios and how they might play out. Once we have mentally exhausted ourselves with identifying what specific scenarios might cause troublesome outcomes, we promise ourselves to never put ourselves in those situations. How To Address Fear Like A Scientist Addressing Fear like a scientist involves asking yourself a few very hard questions. Take a look at these questions and do a quick review on how you are responding to your anxiety and depression. What hypothesis (theory) is my depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) trying to prove? Is this hypothesis true and based in reality and reason? Can I test the evidence in a non-biased way? Can I look at it from every angle without running away from fear? Or trying to solve it? Or steer the outcomes? Can I sit with the results of the experiment? Am I spending my time trying to prove my hypothesis or am I open to actually doing the work of a scientist, who is unbiased and accepting of the outcomes? I invite you this week to be more vigilant about addressing fear like a scientist who tests the hypothesis in a non-biased, rational and reality-based way. I know this is hard, but you know what I am going to say here. It is a beautiful day to do hard things. Also, CBT School is also excited to share that our lovely friend Stuart Ralph is offering The OCD Summit, an online summit specifically for OCD therapists. The OCD Summit will be a 6-week webinar series where Stuart Ralph, host of The OCD Stories podcast, will interview some incredible scientists and clinicians in the OCD field, with you the therapist as the audience. Kimberley is honored to be selected to be one of the panelists for this exciting event. Registration will include 6 topics curated for your continued development as an OCD therapist, where you can ask questions and network with other therapists in the private FB group community. Click here to join.
18:0625/08/2018
Ep. 62: The Anxiety of Decision Making
The Anxiety of Decision Making Is REAL and EXHAUSTING! Experiencing and managing anxiety is a hard and courageous task. And you guys know what I am going to say next. It is a beautiful day to do hard things! One activity that is made difficult by anxiety is the process of making decisions. Making decisions can be exhausting and brings up a lot for us. When making decisions, we might be faced with anxiety about making the “right” decision. We might also be faced with the anxiety of making the decision that won't hurt others or impact others negatively. We might also be faced with anxiety that our decision will cause us to miss out on something better or more beneficial to our long term goals. This constitutes the anxiety of decision making. Basically, making decisions is the ULTIMATE exposure to uncertainty and tolerating discomfort. There is no way to make a decision without acknowledging and facing uncertainty. Here is a teaser from the episode. Even when you put the decision making aside, you are actually making a decision. Not making a decision is technically making a decision you didn’t even know existed. This weeks podcast is all about The Anxiety of Decision Making. We go over some of the themes that come up surrounding decision making such as Hyper-responsibility, Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) and Perfectionism. We also talk about how we must embrace uncertainty in our lives and accept that life doesn’t need to be perfect. This can be easier said than done, so we discuss some important mindfulness tools which can help us manage perfectionism, hyper-responsibility and Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO) when it comes to decision making. We hope you enjoy this week's podcast episode or Your Anxiety Toolkit. Also guys, we are excited to share that ERP SCHOOL is going to be released VERY soon, so keep your eyes out. CBT School is also excited to share that our lovely friend Stuart Ralph is offering The OCD Summit, an online summit specifically for OCD therapists. The OCD Summit will be a 6-week webinar series where Stuart Ralph, host of The OCD Stories podcast, will interview some incredible scientists and clinicians in the OCD field, with you the therapist as the audience. Kimberley is honored to be selected to be one of the panelists for this exciting event. Registration will include 6 topics curated for your continued development as an OCD therapist, where you can ask questions and network with other therapists in the private FB group community. Click here to join.
15:3916/08/2018
Ep. 61: “Trust your capacity to change” - Tara Brach Interview
“Trust your capacity to change” - Tara Brach Interview I am thrilled and honored to share with you an interview I did with my absolute idol, Tara Brach. If you don’t know who Tara Brach is, let me introduce to you an amazing and inspirational human. Tara Brach is a leading Western teacher of Buddhist Meditation, emotional healing and spiritual awakening. Tara is a Clinical Psychologist, meditation teacher and Author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge, two of my favorite books. In addition, Tara Brach, along side Jack Kornfield, co-founded the Awareness Training Institute (ATI) and the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program (MMTCP). For me, Tara’s podcast (tarabrach.com) was (and is) one of the most important parts of my own personal development and growth. For hours I would (and still do) walk the neighborhood while listening to her podcast. Tara helped me through some of the hardest times in my life and allowed me to access her tools and wisdom through a freely offered podcast and streaming service that inspired me to create CBTschool.com. Tara taught me to be a fearless mental health advocate, so you may see that much of CBT School follows her goal of offering skillful and generous work. While I was in Washington, DC for the International OCD Foundation conference, I was lucky enough to meet with Tara in person before her Wednesdays with Tara Meditation Talk and ask her some questions about anxiety and mindfulness. I am still freaking out with excitement that I had the opportunity to meet her in person and then get to interview her for the Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. My goal for this podcast episode was to zero in to the questions I often get asked and see what Tara’s response would be. True to form, Tara gives us some BEAUTIFUL responses that are easy to understand and apply. In this interview, we talk specifically about how uncertainty can be one of the hardest and most challenging parts of anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), panic attacks and depression. Tara gives some amazing mindfulness tools to help us approach uncertainty. We also talked about her book, Radical Acceptance and what some of the road blocks are to radically accepting our discomforts or fears. If you haven’t read her books, I strongly encourage you to. Tara has a way of bringing compassion into the room, even if she isn’t physically there. Tara gives us tips on how to implement Mindfulness practices into our everyday life and normalizes the struggles we all have with this. One of the questions I was most interested in asking Tara was her advice for those who are deeply suffering with mental health right now. She so beautifully responded with compassion and deep knowledge of mindfulness practice. This answer brought me to tears and I am so grateful for having this experience with her. And, last of all, I just had to ask Tara about why she uses humor in her meditation talks and Tara kindly shared with us one of her favorite jokes. Tara used humor a lot to help us understand our own reactivity or idiosyncrasies and I just loved having a little chuckle with her. So, as you can see, I am just a teeny bit in love with Tara (wink, wink). I really hope you get as much as I did out of this episode. Thank you so much Tara for your kindness and generosity. Ok folks! DO NOT FORGET to stay til the end of the episode because Tara so kindly gives an AMAZING GIFT at the end of the interview for our wonderful CBT School community.
23:2909/08/2018
Ep. 60: My IOCDF Conference Key Takeaways
My IOCDF Conference Key Takeaways One of the biggest honors I have as a therapist who treats anxiety disorders is to present at the International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) annual conference. I just adore these conferences, mostly because they provide a mix of both treatment presentations and support groups for those who struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and for therapist who provide evidence based treatment for those who have OCD. Another amazing thing about these conferences is that they also provide support groups and presentations on Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB’s) such as Trichotillomania (Hail Pulling) and Excoriation Disorder (Skin Picking) and Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) and also co-occuring Eating Disorders and Substance Abuse. In this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I wanted to share with you some of my reflections from running several support groups and attending some amazing presentations by some of the top treatment providers in the world. The IOCDF.org put on such an amazing event and I have to admit, this one was by far my favorite. At this years conference, I was honored to co-facilitate a new support group called the Compassion Collective with a dear friend and colleague, Michelle Massi. Michelle and I gathered every morning at 7AM (yes, it was VERY early) to meet with attendees who wanted support with self-compassion. Each morning we provided a new compassion tool to help those who are struggling with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). This was such an beautiful experience, as we got to really see inside the minds of the attendees and hear what is getting the way of them practicing self-compassion. Interestingly, perfectionism and fear of failure were two of the key components or self-compassion sabotage (which I speak a lot about in this weeks podcast episode). I was also honored to be a part of a presentation called “Let’s Talk about Sex Baby!” This presentation was a question and answer formatted presentation where attendees asked very intimate questions about how OCD and anxiety can impact sex. One of the most interesting themes of these presentation was just how uncomfortable people were about discussing sex with their therapist. We had a very OPEN and HONEST dialog with attendees about sex and normalized it. Finally, I was lucky enough to get to run the Co-existing OCD and Eating Disorder group this year with Beth Brawly. Beth and I have ran this group several times and I love it SOOOO much. There is a fine line where OCD and Eating Disorders combine and we met to help attendees break down faulty views of body, health, body size, food and body image. It was so wonderful to see some very brave families join together to support their family members who are struggling. Fore more information on the IOCDF, click here. Lastly, this is a friendly reminder that ERP School (our online course for Exposure & Response Prevention for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and other Anxiety Disorders) is COMING SOON, so stay tuned. Sign up HERE to be on the waitlist and be alerted as soon as it is available.
23:0502/08/2018
Ep. 59: “You are right where you need to be” with Cami Julaine
“You are right where you need to be” with Cami Julaine Well folks! Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today, we have another amazing guest interview as a part of our “We can do hard things” series. I am so excited to share with you an amazing interview with Cami Julaine, an avid mental health advocate, blogger, singer, actor and all-around wonderful person. In this week's episode, Cami shares her journey through Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, an Eating Disorder, Trichotillomania, Panic Attacks and Trauma. One of the things I love the most about Cami is that she is so authentic and open. I know we all struggle with finding the motivation to keep moving forward sometimes, as managing Anxiety Disorders such as Panic Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Social Anxiety, Phobias, Health Anxiety can be very difficult. Cami shares with us a inspiring story of how she went from rock bottom to taking bold steps towards her recovery. Cami shares her story of being supported by family members and close friends (ahem, Paula Abdul) who urged her to get help. This is an incredibly interesting and informative interview, as Cami shares how she had to blend many types of tools (and therapy) to get her to where she is today. Cami shares some wonderful mindfulness tools to help manage Panic Disorder and Panic Attacks. You will really love these tools, as they are very similar to ones we have discussed in previous episodes of Your Anxiety Toolkit, with a little Cami Juliane-twist. :) Cami also talks about her experience with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). Finally, Cami shares with us how she has integrated spirituality with her recovery and how she practices self-care and self-compassion as a part of that practice. This is a topic that I have’t touched upon much at all and I am sure you will find it inspirational and validating. You can find Cami Julaine on Instagram @camijulaine and more information on her website here. One thing before we say goodbye. GET READY...because ERP School (our online course for Exposure & Response Prevention for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and other Anxiety Disorders) is COMING SOON, so stay tuned. Sign up HERE to be on the waitlist and be alerted as soon as it is available. PS: The first 20 people to sign up get a free, exclusive “We Can Do Hard Things Meditation” that you can download and use as often as you like. YES!
44:4527/07/2018
Ep. 58: How To Be Anxious AND Have Courage At The Same Time
You Can Be Anxious AND Have Courage! Courage. Where do we find it? How do we get it? And, once we get it, how do we keep it? In this era, being courageous or brave comes with great expectations. Men are expected to show their “brave face” ALL the time, or they run the risk of being called a “sissy.” That is a lot of pressure! Women (and many times men too) are expected to multi-task multiple difficult things at once, but also must look pretty and be smiling while doing it. But, to top it all off, we humans (men, women and children) with anxiety are often expected to meet all of the above criteria AND keep our anxiety to ourselves. Where did we get this from?! I cannot tell you how many times I have heard stories about family members or partners or parents who have told someone struggling with anxiety or depression (or another mental health struggle) to “be braver” or “toughen up” or “you gotta be stronger through this.” While I do understand what they are trying to convey, today’s podcast episode is all about approaching courage and bravery with a new (more reasonable) perspective. You see, I like to think of bravery and courage as something you can experience WITH anxiety. I actually think they go beautifully together. We can feel dreadful fear AND be courageous. We can feel overwhelming sadness AND be strong. What we have been told about bravery and courage is all off. It limits us and makes us feel like we must not try things until we have no fear and we can “hold it together.” I like to believe that the person who decided to go to the party, despite their tremendous social anxiety, is the brave one. I believe that the person who does that really hard thing (even if it happens to be easy for other people) is the courageous one. I believe the one who has a tear running down their face as they face their fear is a brave rock star! I hope you enjoy this podcast episode and begin to challenge your view of what bravery and courage looks like. As always, thank you for supporting me with this podcast and with CBT School's online courses. Enjoy!
12:2119/07/2018
Ep. 57: Mindfulness Skills to Enhance Value-Based Living
Value-Based Living Hello there CBT School Family Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. As you may know, each week I do my best to bring you a new tool or idea for you to put in your toolkit, in hope that it will give you some skills to manage anxiety, panic and other difficult thoughts, feelings and sensations. I always envision that I am slowly handing you one tool after another and that you are carefully packing those tools into your toolkit or tool belt, so that you feel ready to face your day, with or without anxiety. This week, I want to discuss with you your metaphorical toolkit; the box or belt in which you hold dear to your heart and use daily to help you live your best life. The most important thing to understand in today’s podcast is that carrying a tool belt/toolbox/toolkit is a choice. Every week, you freely join me for a weekly discussion about recovery and living a great life, while having anxiety. You don’t have to carry your toolkit and all the tools around. Many choose not to carry a tool belt or any tools. But you, you do. It’s pretty cool if you ask me. You see, the tools your put in your toolkit are your mindfulness skills. Your toolkit, the place you hold these tools, is your values. If you are on a mission to be a better human, you obviously value your wellbeing. It is a value that you stand by. You value your recovery. You value your quality of life. Using these tools of yours contributes to value-based living. Values are very important to our recovery. The only problem is, that sometimes fear can come in and stomp all over our values. Sometimes fear can lead us away from our values and away from our toolkit. Sometimes fear can lead us towards other problematic behaviors, such as compulsions including checking, counting, avoidance, reassurance seeking and mental rumination. Fear can also lead us towards anger and saying mean things to ourselves. Today, we talk about identifying our values and ways to use the tools you have to help you lead with values. We use concepts from Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, also knows as ACT. ACT is a very helpful treatment modality that beautifully compliments Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP). I hope you find it helpful! Forward we go, Kimberley
13:3313/07/2018
Ep. 56: Surfing the Worry Imp’s Wave (Interview with Sharon Selby)
Surfing the Worry Imp's Wave In this week's episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I had the pleasure of talking to Sharon Selby, Marriage and Family Therapist and Author. Sharon has written an amazing children’s book called Surfing the Worry Imp’s Wave and this book is simply amazing. Before you turn away thinking, “This doesn’t apply to me. This is about kids stuff!”, wait up! Since reading Surfing the Worry Imp’s Wave, I have been using these techniques with some of my adult clients and they LOVE them too. This episode brings some helpful tools and tricks to manage anxiety and perfectionism (at any age). Surfing the Worry Imp’s Wave is a science-based book using the same mindfulness tools and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) tools I use with some of my clients and members of the CBT School Campus with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Panic Disorder, Health Anxiety, Social Anxiety and Phobias. During the episode, Sharon discusses her inspiration behind the book, her work with young children who have anxiety and what tools she has found to be super helpful. As I mentioned about, I have found that these tools are helpful for us BIG kids too (adults). Sharon also tells us about some of the games involved in the books and some helpful tools to manage fear, perfectionism, separation anxiety, and panic. You guys know how much I LOVE a good story or metaphor, and there are plenty in this book. Here is one I want you to think about. In the book, Sharon talks about how our brains need to make mistakes to grow. If we make a mistake, it is like water on a plant. Mistakes help our brains grow into smarter and kinder people. I just adore this part of the book and it is something I have implemented with my young (and old) clients (and me too!). When I make as mistake, I now close my eyes and imagine my brain neurons growing and thriving. This is just one of the wonderful tools that Sharon talks about. I cannot wait for you to listen to this week's podcast, and read this book. Surfing the Worry Imp’s Wave is a bookshelf must have, if you have kids with anxiety. But don’t forget, THIS big kid loves it too!!! See the link below to get your hands on Surfing the Worry Imp's Wave: https://www.sharonselby.com/product/surfing-worry-imps-wave-reducing-childrens-anxiety Sharon Selby's free e-book 8 Common Mistakes to Avoid When Your Child Is Anxious is available at: sharonselby.com/free-ebook You can also hear more about Sharon on her Website HERE
38:2405/07/2018
Ep. 55: Thought Suppression Never Works
Thought Suppression Doesn't Work!! You may have heard it multiple times, but consider this a little reminder. THOUGHT SUPPRESSION NEVER WORKS! This short but hefty statement is considered one of the golden rules when it comes to the management of anxiety disorders, specifically Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety, Healthy Anxiety and Phobias. However, the truth is, we all attempt to make our “bad” or anxiety-provoking thoughts away. We try to push them down so they won't hurt us anymore. We try to make them go away, so we don’t have to feel the related shame, guilt, irritation, and annoyance of these thoughts. Does this sound anything like you? Let me tell you, you are in the right place. You see, this is a very common reaction to intrusive, anxiety-producing thoughts. For those with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Health Anxiety (hypochondria), Social Anxiety, Panic Disorder or Specific Phobias, thought suppression can be involuntary and we often do not even know we are doing it. Intuitively, our brains will fight or run away from almost anything that creates discomfort for us. We are biologically set up for fight, flight or freeze. In today’s episode, we talk about why thought suppression never works. We talk about how thought suppression can actually increase our anxiety over time and how thought suppression teaches us to intuitively judge our thoughts as bad. If this sounds counter-intuitive to you, you are not alone. My clients and the members of the CBT School Campus are commonly asking some pretty great questions about this, so I wondered if this was a topic that might benefit you. In this week's episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, we talk about how Mindfulness can help us to accept and allow thoughts, non-judgmentally. We address how it can change the dynamic between you and your thoughts to a more peaceful and coexisting relationship. Remember, allowing thoughts is the key. Allow them to come and go. Accept them and see what happens. Listen to hear more!
15:0728/06/2018
Ep. 54: Anxiety Is So Exhausting! Tips To Manage Anxiety-Related Exhaustion
Anxiety-Related Exhaustion is NO JOKE! One of the most common struggles I hear from my clients and the members of the CBT School Campus is how EXHAUSTING anxiety and depression can be. If you are barraged daily by exhaustion resulting from Anxiety (or any other mental health issue), you are NOT ALONE! Experiencing Anxiety is a full-time job. No one can argue with that. Anxiety can drain us of our physical energy, our emotional energy and can cause us to have nothing left to give at the end of the day. It can make us too tired to be social and make us want to sleep the day away. Anxiety-Related Exhaustion can make us feel alone and like there is no hope for us. If this is you, this is the episode for you. Because you know what?! There IS hope for US! In this podcast, we talk about some mindfulness tools to manage anxiety-related exhaustion. We talk about learning to observe your thoughts and correct them to thoughts that are more helpful and less draining. We also address a few very important mindset shifts you may need to make. You see, when we are overwhelmed with tiredness and anxiety-related exhaustion, we often will begin to feel hopeless and start to believe that there is no end in sight. Everyone tells us, "Just keep going", but we can sometimes feel like we barely have the energy or faith that we need to "just keep going". In this episode, we talk about specific mindset tools that I use with my clients who struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Anxiety, Depression and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB's). And last of all, I use one of my favorite metaphors for managing Anxiety-Related Exhaustion. You guys know me! I love to use silly metaphors. That being said, I really believe in it and it works. I promise you that it will make you take better care of yourself if you put it in place and prioritize it. Please don't hesitate to let me know what you think and if this is helpful. Also, if you listen on iTunes, please do leave a review. Good reviews help me reach more people and help me get the really important (and inspirational) people on the show. Forward we go, Kimberley
22:4122/06/2018
Ep. 53: How Advocacy "Keeps Me Well": Interview with Ethan Smith OCD Advocate.
How Advocacy "Keeps Me Well": Interview with Ethan Smith OCD Advocate Do you ever wish you had someone to inspire you and give you hope about your recovery? Maybe you wish there was a story about OCD or anxiety or mental health that looks similar to yours and you wish you knew how the story turns out? Well, today I give you Ethan Smith OCD Advocate. Ethan Smith (OCD Advocate) was the keynote speaker at the 2014 Annual International Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (IOCDF.org) Conference, the International OCD Foundation National Ambassador, a writer, director, producer and OCD Advocate. Amongst these incredible talents and accolades, Ethan is hilarious and kind and VERY informed about the ins and outs of OCD and the treatment of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). During this interview, Ethan talks about his struggles to find correct therapy, his experience with finding evidence-based treatment such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). Ethan also opens up about his draw towards advocacy work, stating that advocacy "keeps him well" and how being honest and open is considered advocacy work. I think we often feel that we have to write a book or start a campaign or a fundraiser to be mental health advocates, but Ethan shares his belief that we ultimately just have to share our story and use our story to help others not feel alone. One of the things I love the most about Ethan is his ability to express compassion and humor in the same sentence. Discussions around Mental Health can feel very heavy, and Ethan has a way of making light of a very heavy topic. Thank you, Ethan, for all that you do. If you feel like sharing your mental health struggles with others is too big of a step right now, consider joining our Facebook Group, CBT School Campus. This group is filled with brave, supportive and compassionate people and was created so you could feel support and connected to others who are working tirelessly on their mental health in a safe and supportive platform. Click here to be taken to the FB group. Click here for Ethan's Keynote Speaker Video DO YOU WANT TO REALLY IMPROVE ON YOUR MINDFULNESS SKILLS FOR OCD? CHECK OUT CBT SCHOOL'S ONLINE COURSE, MINDFULNESS FOR OCD.
01:01:4214/06/2018
Ep. 52: Are You Superhuman or Human?
Are you Superhuman or Human? It's an interesting question, isn't it? Are you a Superhuman or Human? I think in order to answer this question, we need to address how we perceive a superhuman and how we view ourselves, as humans. We need to address how we "rate" ourselves as a whole. You see, sometimes society and our community will send us the message that those of us who struggle with anxiety or depression (or with a mental health issue) are humans that are missing something. In some circles, us anxious humans get seen as being "less than" or weak because we struggle. Most media outlets portray superhuman as those who have beyond average muscles and their stories usually end in glory and power and victory. Let me pose a new idea for you. Maybe it isn't a new idea to you, but I am guessing it is an idea that you need to be reminded of. I don't believe for one teeny tiny microsecond that those who experience anxiety are "less than" humans. I don't for a second believe that those who have mental health struggles are "weak". Let me tell you a little fact. The definition of superhuman is "having or showing exceptional ability or power". Handling Anxiety and Depression or any other mental health issue takes exceptional abilities and a LOT of power and strength. Let's take a look here. If being superhuman requires you to have an exceptional ability, I would be very comfortable saying that managing anxiety classifies as an "exceptional ability". Do you agree? I think that if anyone knew just how hard you were working, they too would say that managing anxiety and depression (or other mental health issues) is superhuman. We don't give ourselves enough credit. This podcast is all about how much of a SUPERHUMAN YOU ARE! Click HERE For Online Course for OCD
15:2508/06/2018
Ep. 51: Is Fred In The Refrigerator? Interview w/ Shala Nicely
Is Fred In The Refridgerator? Interview with Shala Nicely Well, this episode is one of my favorites. Do I say that every week (hehe)? But this week I am not joking! In today's episode, I have the honor of interviewing the AMAZING Shala Nicely. Shala has written the most amazing, Is Fred In The Refridgerator?: Taming OCD and Reclaiming My Life. If you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) or Depression or another mental health struggle, Shala has written THE book for you. In the book, Is Fred in the Refridgerator, Shala talks about her recovery with OCD, BDD, depression, substance abuse and much more. The book is an amazing and fun read, but also walks us through her struggles to find correct therapy for OCD, the rules her OCD held her to and the key components of her mental health recovery. Why is this one of my favorite episodes? Well, Shala walks the walk and talks the talk and she gets very vulnerable and transparent about her struggles with OCD. I love anyone who shares their truth, and Shala did just that. It was truly inspiring and my heart pretty much exploded during the recording of this episode. I asked Shala a lot of really deep questions and she was so honest and open with us, and for that, I am so grateful. I hope you enjoy this book as much as I did. See the link below toget your hands on Is Fred In The Refridgerator? Links: BUY IT ON AMAZON: Is Fred In The Refridgerator shalanicely.com If you missed last weeks episode 50 5 Lessons Learned from Hosting Your Anxiety Toolkit Thank you again for supporting me with this podcast and with CBT Schools online courses. Please click here to find out more about Mindfulness School for OCD.
40:4101/06/2018
Ep. 50: FIVE Lessons Learned From Hosting This Podcast
FIVE LESSONS LEARNED FROM HOSTING THIS PODCAST Today is a special day. Today I share the FIVE LESSONS LEARNED FROM HOSTING THIS PODCAST! Today marks the 50th episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. I get a little sentimental during this one, but please stick with me. Let me start by saying that I am so grateful for reaching 50 episodes. When I started this podcast, in my pjs in my kitchen with my sleeping baby next to me as I recorded my first episode, never in my wildest dreams could imagine what it would become. From this podcast came CBTSchool.com, and from CBT school came a community that I could never have imagined. So Today, on this 50th episode, I celebrate YOU! And, today I want to talk to you about what I have learned and a few of my favorite quotes that I live by (and I promise this will apply to you). In this episode, I share 5 lessons learned by hosting this podcast and I have lived by as I hosted this podcast. I have to be honest. I have learned SO much and I cannot wait to share the lessons with you. I won't pretend it has all been easy. It hasn't. There was a couple of time that this podcast nearly didn't get made. And, there were quite a few times it was made OVER AND OVER! All I can say is that I am so grateful for your support and compassion as I bumped along. If you missed last weeks episode 49 The Content of Your Thoughts Are Not Important Thank you again for supporting me with this podcast and with CBT Schools online courses. Please click here to find out more about Mindfulness School for OCD.
19:1725/05/2018
Ep.49 The Content Of Your Thoughts Are Not Important
The Content Of Your Thoughts Are Not Important One of the biggest struggles my clients have is when they get caught up in the belief that their specific intrusive thoughts or fears warrant LOTS of attention and moral weight. This is one of the most difficult things to manage when you are struggling with significant anxiety. We can see that other peoples fears are irrational, but when it comes to our specific fear, we become unglued, confused and reactive. Here are a few questions that I want you to ask yourself before listening to this podcast. Have you caught yourself saying any of the following? 1. “It's easy for you to say to, "just accept the thoughts". You don’t have thoughts about hurting someone all day like I do (insert here whatever thought you are obsessing or ruminating on). This thought is WAY worse than other thoughts.” 2. “This isn’t any old thought. This would destroy my life if this thought came true.” 3. “I know I have to accept the uncertainty, but this isn’t just a thought” These are all examples of getting caught up in our thoughts content. When we get caught up in the CONTENT of our thoughts we can get stuck in a cycle of anxiety. When we give our thoughts all of this attention and value, our brains become hypervigilent and get even more worked up about the presence of these thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Please note here, I am in NO WAY telling you this is your fault. This is just the way our brains work. We also have be to careful about our narrative about this thought. If we tell ourselves the thought is "bad", that triggers self-judgment, shame and self-doubt. Then we are off and running, judging ourselves more and putting ourselves down. Listen to the podcast to hear my FIVE STEPS to help when you are getting caught in the content of your thoughts. At the end of the podcast, I offer a little Challenge for you. Observe your thoughts and ask yourself if you could start to make any of these changes in your life. If you do notice that you are giving too much weight to a thought, try to practice Non-judgment (Ep 1) or Beginners Mind (ep 6) or What you say to yourself Matters (ep 17). Thank you again for supporting me with this podcast and with CBT Schools online courses. Please click here to find out more about Mindfulness School for OCD.
21:0218/05/2018
Ep. 48: 4 Steps to Doing Hard Things
Ep. 48: 4 Steps to Doing Hard Things! Welcome back! This week's episode is a celebration of last weeks guest interview with Dennis A. Aguilar. Last weeks episode was the first of the series called, We Can Do Hard Things Series. In this series, I will interview people who have fought through the thickness of mental health struggles and have relentlessly worked on themselves. These will be inspiring and motivating stories that will help you see that you are not alone in your recovery process. One question I have been getting from listeners, in response to last weeks podcast, was the question, "But, How do I do hard things when doing even the smallest things seem so hard for me?" This podcast will outline the FOUR steps I use to doing the hard things. These steps are mostly tools that will help you understand and appreciate your personal journey. I often gently say to myself, "It is a beautiful day to do hard things!" and I really believe this to be a core part of my own mental health toolkit. I hope you enjoy this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Resources: Episode The Skill of Non-Judgment Click HERE for My Free PDF Printout: My FOUR Favorite Mindfulness Tools for OCD CBT SChool Campus Facebook Group
18:0211/05/2018
Ep. 47: We Can Do Hard Things (with Dennis A. Aguilar)
If you know me at all, you know that I 100% believe that WE CAN DO HARD THINGS! If you are on Instagram or Facebook, you will often hear me repeat, "We can do hard things!" "We can do hard things!" "We can do hard things!" I am also a strong believer in Progressive Mastery. Progressive Mastering is the systematic and step-by-step approach to learning new things. Basically, we incredible humans can learn just about anything if we break it down into small steps and take one step at a time. I cannot stress this approach enough when it comes to mental wellness. We must not look up at the mountain, tell ourselves how we will NEVER be able to make it up there and then give up. We must take on emotion at a time. One thought at a time. One sensation at a time. One urge at a time. When we do this, we move forward. We move upward. We soar! This week's podcast is the first of a series I am doing called "We can do hard things". During this series, I will interview people who have taken the hard, but rewarding route of working through their emotions, mental health disorders, trauma and difficult childhoods. I could not be more excited to share this weeks episode with you. Dennis A. Aguilar joins us today to share the inspiring story of his life journey through mental illness. Dennis talks about trauma, depression, suicidal ideation, OCD, anxiety, Bipolar Disorder, ADD, social anxiety and other struggles he manages. I found this interview to be incredibly inspiring and I am sure you will to0. Dennis also gives TONs of amazing advice to those who feel like recovery is not an option for them. He talks about how he would go through stages of hopelessness and how to fought himself to just keep going. About Dennis A. Aguilar and Resources He Suggests Instagram Books: Mind Programming: From Persuasion to Brain Washing The Siva Mind Control Method What Every Body is Saying The Heart Of The Buddha Psychology Fifth Edition The Norton Psychology Reader How Pleasure Works How The Mind Works Emotions Revealed Taking Charge of ADHD The Lazy Mans Way To Riches Other: Luminosity
58:5904/05/2018
Ep. 46: How To Improve Your Relationship With Anxiety
In This Episode, We Are Going To Get Creative Are you guys friends? You know. You, and Anxiety. Do you guys yell at each other? Or, do you talk between yourselves in a respectful and considerate manner? This episode is all about your relationship with anxiety. Does Anxiety manipulate you into behaviors you don't want to engage in? Or, do you hold your ground when anxiety is trying to get its way? These questions might help you to determine what kind of relationship you have with the anxiety in your life. This is a really important question and a conversation that we must continually have with ourselves. Do you have a good relationship with anxiety? In today's podcast episode, we talk about How to Improve Your Relationship with Anxiety. This includes how you talk with yourself, how you react to your anxiety and what your expectations are about its presence in your life. You guys know how much I LOVE a good metaphor. Well, this week's podcast is one BIG metaphor on how to build a better relationship with your anxiety, depression, emotions, and sensations. My goal is to give you a visual for managing and tolerating discomfort. In this episode, I also address setting boundaries with anxiety and depression but creating a relationship with anxiety AND depression. I can't wait to hear whether this is helpful for you. I find it incredibly helpful. Enjoy! Click HERE to join our free FACEBOOK GROUP, CBT SCHOOL CAMPUS Click HERE to learn more about CBT Schools Mindfulness for OCD E-course Click HERE to learn more about CBT Schools e-course for Hair Pulling and Skin Picking, BFRB School
12:3627/04/2018
Ep.45: FIVE Roadblocks to Anxiety Recovery (w/ Sheva Rajaee)
Do you sometimes wonder what the secret sauce is to Anxiety Recovery? Well, today, we have an INCREDIBLE interview with Sheva Rajaee discussing the FIVE ROADBLOCKS TO ANXIETY RECOVERY! Sheva Rajaee (forgive me for the error with her maiden name in the podcast) is a lovely friend of mine and I was lucky enough to get to work alongside her at the center where we were trained. Sheva is an OCD Advocate rockstar and was a speaker at last years UCLA TEDx Talk event, presenting the talk titled, “Addicted to the answer – anxiety in the age of information”. In this interview, Sheva comes very well prepared (as she always is) and she details what she calls the FIVE ROADBLOCKS TO ANXIETY RECOVERY, including tools to help manage Anxiety Disorders, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB's). Sheva details ways you can compliment Cognitive Behavioral Therapy tools and she uses a wonderful metaphor that we discussed in such depth that we ended up in hysterics! We talk about doing the hard work, staying committed and some mindset shifts that can help with recovery success. Sheva and I also talk about those who are not currently in therapy and how they can utilize their own resources to keep them going. Sheva has her own private practice in Irvine, CA called the Center for Anxiety and OCD. You can find Sheva on Instagram @theshrinkwrap.
41:3220/04/2018
Ep. 44: Anxiety + Anxiety + Anxiety = Anger
Anxiety + Anxiety + Anxiety = Anger Do you feel ever notice that your overwhelming fear turns into overwhelming anger? Yes? Well, you are not alone. Anger is a very common bi-product of anxiety. Today, I share a little bit more about my experience of listening to Clint Malarchuk, who was a National Hockey League player and was the keynote speaker at the most recent So Cal IOCDF Conference. Click here for last weeks podcast episode on YOU ARE NOT ALONE Clint and his wife told their beautiful story about Clint's struggles with OCD and Trauma. Clint shared all about his journey of managing obsessions and compulsions while excelling as a professional hockey player. There was SO much about Clint and his wife presentation that I loved, but one thing stood out to me as being REALLY important. Clint shared about his Anger. Clint and his wife shared how he was overwhelmed with rage. Clint was angry at himself. Angry with his wife for demanding her get help. Angry at his disorder, for taking so much away from him. It made me wonder, I am sure some of you would love to know that they are not alone in their anger. This podcast is for you if you commonly feel angry about what you are going through and angry at those who just don't get it. Anger is a normal human emotion, but we need to work on making space for it. We cannot push it down and we cannot transfer it onto other people by yelling, throwing, punching and/or saying mean things. If you want to learn more about anger and how to manage it, listen to this podcast. I detail FOUR KEYS ways you can manage your experience of anger (and NO, punching a pillow is not one of them). You will learn that you have to honor and respect your anger and create a better relationship with it. Click HERE to read about CBT School's Mindfulness for OCD Online course Click HERE to read about CBT School's online Course, BFRB School: Joyful living with Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (Hair pulling and Skin Picking)
18:5013/04/2018
Ep. 43: You are not Alone
In Case You Didn't know, You are not Alone Just a couple of weeks ago, I attended and was honored to present at the Southern California OCD Conference ran by socalocd.com. It was such an incredible event and I left with my heart feeling full and mind inspired. The thing about these conferences is that the energy of the attendees is so infectious. At the beginning of the day, the room is filled with anticipation and hope. These conferences are held in hope to give tools and support to those in the community with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. After listening to the keynote speakers and breaking into group sessions where attendees learn tools to manage their OCD (I spoke on Mindfulness and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for OCD), we meet at the end of the day for a final Q&A with the panelists. The room was filled with togetherness. There was a sense of community and cohesion that warmed my heart (and it lasted for days). The next day, I posted on Instagram how honored I was to attend such a beautiful conference and I sent out the message that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I knew a lot of people were not able to attend such a wonderful event and I wanted to spread the love and connection that I was feeling. The response flawed me. Direct Messages and emails came in from those who are struggling with OCD and Anxiety and Depression, reporting how alone they feel. It got me wondering. Do you feel ALONE in your suffering? Do you feel like no one understands just how hard it is for you? Do you feel like no one could possibly understand what is it like to experience such anxiety and fear and panic? I am also wondering, Do you feel alone in your bravery? Do you feel like no one understands or appreciates how incredibly brave you are? You get up every day and do your best to get through the day with anxiety and depression and dread. You face your fears, not because you want to, but because you HAVE to. Do you feel so alone that you feel angry? Maybe you are so angry and hurt because no one else you know has to face their fears every single day, day in and day out. Do you feel alone because everyone else seems to do the thing that you fear so easily? If any of this describes you, this episode is for you. You are NOT alone! Click the below link to be added to the group. I would LOVE to have you join us. CBT School Campus Private Facebook Group Link to OCD So Cal Below: OCD SoCal is an affiliate of the International Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Foundation (IOCDF)
21:0605/04/2018
Ep.42 Dispelling The Myths About Managing Anxiety (Interview with Jon Hershfield)
Ep.42 Dispelling The Myths About Managing Anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Jon Hershfield Shares How To Have A Wise Relationship With Thoughts, Feelings, and Sensations You guys know how much I LOVE breaking down ALL THINGS ANXIETY and then deliver it in easy and helpful ways. In today's episode, I am THRILLED to share Jon Hershfield's wisdom with you. He is a genius at breaking things down into easy-to-understand ways. For this episode, I reached out to some trusted and respected Mental Health Professionals for input. I asked if they could share some of the unskilled advice that some of their clients have received from their previous therapists or medical professionals. During our time together, Jon addressed how some advice for anxiety can be problematic and Jon shared his INCREDIBLE knowledge and wisdom on how to manage anxiety and obsessions in a mindful and rational way. We discuss topics such as: Why can't I just distract myself from the thoughts? Can I just Listen to music to drown out the thoughts? Can I imagine a Stop Sign when having intrusive thoughts or worrying? What about squashing thoughts like a bug? If I think it, is it my unconscious mind trying to tell me something? My Doctor told me that I just need one really heavy period for this anxiety to pass My Doctor told me my Anxiety is due to not being breastfed I understand I can get these scary thoughts to go away by thinking positive and using The Law of Attraction. About Jon: Jon is the author of When a Family Member Has OCD: Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Skills to Help Families Affected by Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder . Hershfield is also the Co-Author of Everyday Mindfulness for OCD: Tips, Tricks, and Skills for Living Joyfully with Shala Nicely and The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD: A Guide to Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsions Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with Tom Corboy. Jon has a private Practice in Baltimore and uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for the treatment of Anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) OCDbaltimore.com The OCD and Anxiety Center of Greater Baltimore Twitter: CBTOCD Facebook: @JonHershfield Click here to read about how Mindfulness can help you.
46:5430/03/2018
Ep. 41: Stay Present with these Two Little Words
So often, when we are anxious, we forget to stay present. Instead, we worry about what could possibly happen in the future. "What if something bad happens?" "What if I panic?" "What if...?" The more I observe my thoughts, the more I notice how incorrect my thoughts are. In a split second, our brain will tell us an awful story about how a terrible thing is going to happen, how we are terrible people for thinking this thought, or how we cannot handle this feeling. We must come to accept that much of what we think is incorrect. I want to introduce you to TWO words that could change your life and make you more present if you put it into practice enough. Before I share the words with you, I want to encourage you to first get used to observing what you are thinking, feeling, experiencing. It could be emotions such as sadness, anger, frustration, irritability etc. It could be thoughts, such as "I am so angry- I am so upset- I am not getting better- I cant do this- I cant handle this- I am feeling hopeless......" It could be sensations such as panic and anxiety-related sensations, increased heart rate, shaking, sweating, depersonalization etc It could be sensations related to Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (Trichotillomania and Compulsive Skin Picking) such as tingling fingers, itchiness or throbbing. Once you are able to notice and observe these experiences, I encourage you to click on the link and add these two little words to your narrative. Enjoy! I hope they bring you as much peace as they bring me. I have even added a short meditation to help you with this practice. :)
15:4723/03/2018
Ep. 40: 5 Tips for Managing Panic Attacks
If you have ever experienced the discomfort of a panic attack, you will appreciate this episode. When it comes to managing Panic, there is a lot of bad advice out there. I often have clients come to me reporting that they have been trying to "Stop Panicking" for years, only to find that nothing was working. They report painfully fast heart rates, tight chests, and fear that they will die. If you have experienced this, you are definitely not alone. In today's podcast, I will share with you My 5 Favorite Tips for Managing Panic Attacks (or Anxiety Attacks). As I mention in the episode, these are not the ONLY tips you need, but they are super important ones and ones I share often with my clients. These mindfulness tools are SUPER helpful in managing your mindset and perspective on anxiety. I hope they help you on your journey to managing anxiety, panic, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and other struggles related to fear and worry. Forward we go, Kimberley
19:3316/03/2018
Ep. 39: A Funny Way to Approach Fear & Perfectionism
Hi, there folks! Once again, it is an honor to hang out with you. This week's podcast is a little bit silly. But, I am dead serious when I say that This. Tool. Works! If you are struggling with perfectionism, or anxiety that stops you from starting a project or participating in an event, this is the podcast for you. Sometimes we need a different perspective to pull us out of our constant need to make things perfect and perform in a way that doesn't make us vulnerable. Writing about it doesn't really do it justice, so give this episode a listen. I hope it gives you a little laugh and you can use this tool when you are up against fear and need a little push forward. Forward we go, Kimberley
19:0709/03/2018
Ep. 38: We Are The Lucky Ones! Important Lessons learned by Stuart Ralph
Today, I am thrilled to interview Stuart Ralph, the host of the amazing OCD Stories Podcast. In his podcast, Stuart interviews some of the most influential and inspiring psychotherapists and researchers in the anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder field. During our interview together, I asked Stuart to tell us about some of the most inspiring and memorable interviews he has done and he gave us some SUPER important takeaways. In the podcast, we discussed: How Steven Hayes (author of Get out of Your Mind and Into Your Life) told Stuart, "You are the Lucky Ones!" How Reid Wilson taught him that "The Content of your worries is trash". How Professor Paul Gilbert (Founder of Compassion Focused Treatment and author of the book, The Compassionate Mind) discussed the application of Self Compassion and how important it is for mental health recovery (especially those who experience anxiety, OCD and mood disorders). Stuart left us with this big piece of wisdom; "We all need love and self-care, and if we give ourselves huge doses of that we can move towards recovery". I hope you enjoyed this interview as much as I did! Please don't forget to leave a review for this podcast! Your reviews help us reach more people, so then I can help more people! Virtual Hugs everyone!
34:1902/03/2018
Ep. 37: Giving Yourself Permission To....
Sometimes we are so overwhelmed with all of the pressure (from work, friends, family, school, society) that we forget that the pressure we feel isn't always mandatory. We CAN give ourselves permission to drop the pressure and just BE. I know! This might sound super impossible, but hear me out. What would happen if you responded to the anxiety and pressure and stress with, "I give myself permission to eat whatever I wanted" "I give myself permission to have scary thoughts" (such as intrusive violent, sexual or scrupulous thoughts) "I give myself permission to not only have these scary thoughts but also not solve what they mean about me" "I give myself permission to allow this anxiety to be here" "I give myself permission to be imperfect" "I give myself permission to rest!" "I give myself permission to just be ME" This is some powerful stuff! Giving yourself permission to listen to your body can be incredibly helpful when managing eating disorders (and disordered eating), Intrusive thoughts associated with Obsessive Compulsive (including harm, sexual, religious, contamination and symmetry obsessions to list a few), Social Anxiety, Perfectionism, low self-esteem and chronic anxiety and panic. Listen to hear why this is such an important tool for managing anxiety and reducing the pressure we feel daily.
11:5623/02/2018
Ep. 36: This EASY tool Might Change Your Way of Coping with Anxiety (W/ Shala Nicely)
Are you tired of feeling like anxiety always has the reins? This tool might be exactly what you are looking for and can be a powerful complement to the work you are already doing with anxiety. The tool is called "Shoulders Back!" and our AMAZING CBT ROCKSTAR guest is Shala Nicely! Shala explains how she came across this tool and how she uses it, both in her own life and with her clients with anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). The reason I LOVE this tool so much is that it is easy, empowering and science-based. Here are the links we discussed! Don't forget to check out Shala and Jeff Bell's E-course to help you with motivation for ERP for OCD. Click here for Shala and Jeff's E-Course Beyond The Doubt. Amy Cuddy Ted Talk talks about using a Power Pose Everyday Mindfulness Book (Written with Jon Hershfield)
16:2115/02/2018
Ep. #35: DON'T Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself
Yep, you read it correctly! Today we are talking about Checking Behaviors! Chances are, you have done these behaviors a million times They sound like this....“Just to make sure” “I would prefer to be certain” “I cant handle my anxiety if I don’t....” “Terrible things will happen if I don’t.....” If you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, you might check doors, stove knobs, hair dryers, crock pots (new for those who watched the TV show, This IS us), For those with Health Anxiety, you might check your ailments, sores, blemishes, degree of pain etc For those with Perfectionism, you might check emails, texts, phone messages, assignments for school etc For those with social anxiety, you might check Evite lists on who is going to an event, check your clothing or teeth in the mirror repetitively. Checking is an attempt to control our surroundings in hopes to avoid possible bad things from happening. We might be avoiding the uncertainty of knowing if we will get sick or not. We might be trying to eliminate entirely the chances of the house burning down or being robbed. Or, we might be trying to eradicate any chance of being seen as anything less than perfect. We might be afraid of embarrassment. But let's be honest! The chances are, you are mostly just trying to eradicate THOUGHTS about these events. Or, maybe you are trying to eradicate the presence of anxiety around these topics. I understand this conundrum. It is not uncommon to want to make sure you aren't going to burn down the house or miss a deadline or leave the door of your house wide open. We all do checking behaviors from time to time. However, let's be really honest with ourselves. If you find you are doing these activities over and over, chances are that you are mostly in the fight against uncertainty….and let me let you in on a little secret. You won’t will this one. Fighting uncertainty is like trying to get a toddler out the door on time for school. The more you rush it, the longer they take. True story! Some might say, but when I do it, after some time, I DO find relief. I get it. Some are lucky to find those moments when the anxiety is lifted and you can walk away with a sense of, “Ok. I can move on” Listen to the episode to learn about how to work on reducing compulsive checking behaviors! When it comes to anxiety, WE CANNOT CONTINUE WITH THIS. We must change the arm in which we are strongest. And lets be honest. Uncertainty is all around us. It is something we have to deal with even if few don't have anxiety. It comes in every stage of our lives. Let's work to strengthen our ability to make space for discomfort in our lives. As always, have a wonderful week!
16:3809/02/2018
#34: Setting Boundaries
Well, this week I tell you a story about the most influential moment I have experienced regarding boundary setting. It is one of my favorite stories to tell because it taught me SO MUCH about setting boundaries and helped me see that some of the beliefs I had around setting boundaries were ENTIRELY wrong! During this podcast, we discuss FOUR steps to Boundary Setting and discuss how this can help us manage anxiety, resentment, and anger. I hope you enjoy the story as much I as enjoy telling it! Forward we go, Kimberley
14:2202/02/2018
Ep # 33: Talking Back To Depression Like A Gangsta (w/ Tiffany Roe)
Wassup Yo! This podcast is seriously Badass, even if I do say so myself! I am honored to introduce to you, Tiffany Roe. Tiffany is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Utah and has the most incredible Instagram account, which is where I "met" her. Tiffany is another one of those CBT Rockstars, who uses Mindfulness and CBT to help her clients manage Anxiety, Depression and Eating Disorders. I just adore her! In this podcast, we talk about how to talk back to depression like a Gangsta. Tiffany shares some incredibly inspirational, empowering and FUN ways to talk back to Depression, when it bullies us and makes us feel like there is no hope. BUT THERE IS MORE! Tiffany was so excited about our conversation, she kindly put together a Spotify Playlist of her favorite music that helps her lift out of depression and back into her own power and strength. See below or click HERE for the link. NB: Please note that some of the songs listed in the playlist include profanity. Thank you Tiffany for joining us at Your Anxiety Toolkit. It was so fun talking with you. https://open.spotify.com/user/122159189/playlist/0OuZaqSrqLQyVsHtx4yPbS?si=IgB475OAT4KlRs0R-atTqg
38:1126/01/2018
#32: How to Reduce Reassurance Seeking Behaviors/Compulsions
#32: How to Reduce Reassurance Seeking Behaviors Welcome back, everyone! Welcome back to the Series on Problematic Anxiety-Related Behaviors. Today, we are talking about Mindfulness-based tools to help with Reassurance Seeking. For those of you who don’t think this topic applies to you, stick around a little. You might find that you are employing this behavior, even in slight and tricky ways. As mentioned in the last episode, there are behaviors that you can reduce, which will result in better outcomes when it comes to anxiety. Last Week we discussed Avoidance and how this compulsion only makes fear worse. This week, as we mentioned, we are discussing Reassurance Seeking Compulsions. So, What is Reassurance Seeking? Before I give a definition, let me give you some examples and you can see if you resonate with any of these. Am I doing this right? (Common in Perfectionism) Did you turn off the stove? Did I turn off the........ (Common in Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) Are you sure everything will be ok? Do I look ok? (Common in Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Eating Disorders) You still love me, right? Do you think I will fail this test? (Common in Perfectionism) Do you think I hurt their feelings? Do you think they are mad at me? Do you think I could get sick? (Common in Health Anxiety and Contamination OCD) Did I hurt someone? Could I hurt someone? (Common in Harm OCD) Don't get me wrong. These are questions that I would consider “appropriate” questions. However, the problem lies in their frequency and intention. If you find yourself asking questions repetitively, or you find yourself asking these questions when you know they don’t have the solution/answer, it is probably Reassurance Seeking. Also, if you find yourself asking these questions when you could be finding the solution yourself, this could be Reassurance Seeking. And lastly, if you find yourself attempting to find certainty in a situation where there is little to NO certainty, this podcast is for you! Reassurance Seeking is an action of removing someone's doubts or fears. Reassurance seeking is very common (and problematic) behavior in Anxiety Disorders such as OCD, phobias, panic disorder, Generalize Anxiety Disorder. It is also common in Body Dysmorphic Disorder and Eating Disorders. That being said, it applies to us all, in our management of our own anxiety. The goal is to recognize that we must not reach outside ourselves to remove our doubts and fears. Drawing other into our anxiety usually only makes it messier and creates a dynamic where you feel reliant on them to manage your anxiety. Also, Reassurance Seeking complicates relationships and can backfire. People may not give you the response you were looking for and cause you to have even more anxiety. Often clients report that their partner sometimes is very supportive and answers their questions very well, but over time, then the partner gets annoyed and then it creates friction. Does this sound familiar? The goal is to acknowledge your own fears as they arise, either allow them to simply be there using your mindfulness skills or work through them on your own. Remember, treat your fears the way you want your brain to interpret them in the future. I hope that is helpful! Have a wonderful week.
16:2319/01/2018
#31: BIG announcement and Why You Have to Stop Avoiding
BIG announcement and Why You Have to Stop Avoiding First, let me share some EXCITING news with you! I am so excited to share with you some news about the work I am focusing on in 2018! But first, let me tell you the back story. Each year, I do my best to attend several conferences for OCD, Anxiety, Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB’s) and Depression. I have had the privilege of presenting at many of these conferences over the years and I often return home in a state of joy, empowerment and determination to help those who struggle with these debilitating disorders. I love learning all about the evidence-based treatment modalities for OCD, Anxiety Disorders and Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors such as Trichotillomania and Skin Picking and using the skills to increase recovery outcomes and improve self-esteem and self-care. However, last year, I left one of the conferences quite sad. I was sad for those sufferers who attended the conferences and then had to return home to their hometown, with very little support and no evidence-based services but licensed mental health professionals. So few therapist know how to treat OCD, BFRB’s and Anxiety Disorders using the treatment modalities that are so successful and appropriate. From this frustration, I decided to create an online psycho-education platform where I can offer support and educational products to those who cannot access correct care. I am so proud to announce the creation of CBTschool.com. CBTschool.com is an online platform when you can access information and online courses on how to overcome your struggles with OCD, Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB’s), Anxiety Disorders, Panic and Depression. Each course will apply Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (hence the term CBT, in CBT School) and Mindfulness Tools. These are the exact tools I use with my clients every day in my office. I currently have one course ready to be purchased, called Mindfulness School for OCD. I will talk more about this in coming podcasts. Keep an eye out, as there will be more to purchase very soon. In addition to the online courses, I plan to meet at a designated time each month to join with you on Facebook Live and Instagram, to answer any questions you may have and help you along with your journey. More exciting news is the YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT podcast is now a production of CBTschool.com and we will continue to provide evidence based tools for Anxiety, Depression and Emotional Dysregulation. Lastly, if you check out CBTschool.com’s websites, you will see that there is also some awesome free PDF’s available to help you with self care and mindfulness. I am so thrilled to share this news with you. Feel free to connect with me on FB or Instagram. Now, onto the important stuff! This episode is a part or an ongoing series where we discuss Problematic Anxiety Related Behaviors (also know as Compulsions). In this episode, we will discuss a very important and problematic compulsion, which is Avoidance. Avoidance is the withdrawal from an object, event, person or experience Avoidance is a common behavior we employ to manage anxiety, fear, panic, obsessions and intrusive thoughts. While our brain uses "flight" to activate us to run away from real danger and stressors, we sometime use avoidance and "flight" to avoid thoughts and fears of bad things happening. The problem is, the more you avoid events or experiences that you perceive to be dangerous (when really they are not currently a risk to your wellbeing) the more you tell your brain that that event or experience is dangerous and the more your brain responds with physical anxiety when you go to the event or engage in the experience. Example: What if I get sick if I touch that door handle or ATM teller? NOTE: Sentences that begin with “WHAT if” imply that they have not happened yet. If you were my client and this was a common fear for you, and you have been avoiding this, I would have you go and use the ATM bank teller!! By not avoiding, we unlock the fear response cycle our brain is looped into. This applies to fears that you are a bad person, that you will do something wrong, that awful horrible things will happen. Trick!!! When I say that….what is the immediate thought you have? But, Kimberley, my fear is serious!! Nope. Your fear is a thought But Kimberley, I could ruin peoples live if I stopped avoiding the thing I am afraid of. POSSIBLY!! Here is my questions for you. What kind of life do you want to live? Consult with your values. Do you want to live in fear? Do you want to let anxiety make your decisions? Or even more, a thought make your decisions? Or, do you want to strengthen courage and resilience? This is a question we have to ask ourselves every day. How Do I want to live my life? Take risks! Look at your life and ask yourself what you are avoiding. Try to not let anxiety win this one. Find a way to reduce the avoidance. Find a way to forgive yourself for avoiding it for so long. Don't beat yourself up. Have a wonderful week everyone! See you next week!
21:5413/01/2018
Episode #30: "Today is a New Day" Daily Guided Mediation
In this episode, we try a new meditation to help you stay present in THIS day. HAPPY NEW YEAR! It is a great guided meditation to help you stay centered on the present moment and let go of yesterdays events or tomorrows possible happenings. I recorded this meditation at the beach, as this is where I feel the most present and alive. I hope you find it helpful. It has become a daily part of my practice and I hope it brings you empowerment and peace. Forward we go! Kimberley
06:2204/01/2018
Episode #29: How and How-Not to set New Years Resolutions (for the Anxiety Sufferer)
Happy Almost New Year!! Well, it's that time of year! You know, the time where you reflect on the year and set outrageous resolutions for the upcoming year. It is when you dwell on all the things you DIDN'T do last year that you said you would. During this podcast, I walk through a very successful way to set intentions for the upcoming Year, Month, Week, Day and even Hour! I walk you through why New Year's Resolutions rarely work and how I use Honesty and values to set goals that will improve self compassion, self-respect and effectiveness. I also give a few examples of how this applies to those with OCD, Eating Disorders, Social Anxiety and Panic Attacks. Last of all, I want to with you the HAPPIEST and SAFEST New Year! Forward we go! Kimberley
15:2022/12/2017
Episode #28: The Dark Days: Interview with Alison Dotson
Hello there Everyone! Today, I am thrilled to have guest, Alison Dotson on the Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. During this podcast, Alison shares her journey from not even knowing what OCD was to what helped her with her recovery. Alison and I had a fun time also managing technological hiccups, which ended up being a wonderful practice of mindfulness. Alison Dotson is the author of Being Me with OCD: How I Learned to Obsess Less and Live My Life. In this book, Alison shares her personal journey with obsessive-compulsive disorder and includes some of the most heart-wrenching details. Her genuine goal is to spread awareness and helping teens and young adults with OCD. Resources Mentioned in this this Podcast: Alisondotson.com facebook.com/beingmewithocd Imp of the Mind IOCDF.org twitter- beingmewithocd OCD Twin Cities [email protected]
56:5316/12/2017
Episode #27: Oh, The Thinks you can Think! Lessons from Mindfulness Teacher, Dave Trachtenberg
Today, we have an AMAZING guess on the podcast, Dave Trachtenberg. Dave is the Program Director at Minds Incorporated. Minds Inc. is a non-profit dedicated to empowering Washington DC-area schools by teaching mindfulness-based practices to students, educators, and parents. During the Podcast, Dave shares how Minds Inc. teaches students, starting in elementary school (and their educators, and parents) simple daily mindfulness practices. Dave speaks about how these teachings increase focus and attention, reduce stress and anxiety, create resilience and the capacity to handle difficult emotions, and build compassion. As discussed in the podcast, sometimes when I get down about the state of the world, I find myself doing late night Google searches on how I can make it better. In my searches, I found Minds Inc's website and came across Dave. Dave shared some beautiful stories about helping young children and teens and also shared his own struggles with OCD, Tic Disorder, Depression and Self-worth. Dave answered the following questions: Tell us about Minds Inc? What got you involved in teaching meditation to Teachers, Students and Parents? What is your personal experience with meditation and Mindfulness? What at some experiences/examples of situations you have had with youth at Minds Incorporated? (successes, struggles, changes made)? What type of meditation does Minds Inc. teach? What special tools/practices do you use for living mindfully? What advice do you give for those starting out with meditation? Tell us how you manage struggles with meditation? How can we teach our children? This was one of my favorite conversations and I am so thrilled to share it with you. I would love to hear your feedback. Have a wonderful day! Kimberley Resources: Mindsincorporated.org Brain Lock Angel Kyodo Williams http://transformativechange.org/founder/ Pema Chodron Link here Mindfulness For Dummies Mindfulness An * Week Plan How to Live in a Frantic World
59:2415/12/2017
Episode #26: The Simplicity of Mindfulness
Well, Lets be honest! Sometimes I get so excited about practicing and teaching the deep and helpful concepts of Mindfulness that I forget to remind y'all of how simple it can and should be! Often, when we experience anxiety (or other strong emotions), we often forget everything we have learned and are left standing helpful and afraid. In this podcast, we return to one of the most simplest and easiest Mindfulness tool available. Check it out! And, if you are noticing how basic and thinned out this blog is, that is no accident. This week, we are practicing simplicity!! See you next week!
14:0011/12/2017
Episode #25: Vulnerability: The Road to Courage, Self-Compassion and Self-Worth
Vulnerability: The Road to Courage, Self-Compassion and Self-Worth In today’s podcast, I wanted to dissect the concept of Vulnerability. Brene Brown, reknowned researcher on Vulnerability defines Vulnerability as “Uncertainty, Risk and Emotional Exposure” I find this somewhat ironic, as Uncertainty, Risk and Emotional Exposure are the worst nightmare of someone who experiences anxiety, OCD, an eating disorder (such as Anorexia Nervosa or Bulimia Nervosa), trauma, grief or depression. I think many humans struggle with these concepts, but I feel that it is significantly difficult for those who struggle with these mental health disorders. In many cases, there is a complete rejection of vulnerability. I believe we think that if we avoid vulnerability, we can rid ourselves of shame, embarrassment, being judged, feeling sad or hurt. However, all we end up doing is numbing. When we have anxiety, we think that if we avoid vulnerability, we could rid ourselves of possible bad or catastrophic outcomes. However, all we end up doing is becoming compulsive. In this podcast, I detail the workings of those who are successful at being vulnerable and take a look at the outcomes that result. We will outlines ways that you can practice vulnerability in large or small steps. We look at the repurcussions of staying safe and avoiding vulernability and we detail the research’s findings about self-worth and conectivity. I hope you enjoy it! This is one of my favorite subjects. Forward we go! Kimberley Photo by Nathan Anderson on Unsplash
17:2102/12/2017
Episode #24: Willingness-Leave It All Out On The Field!
Episode #24: Willingness-Leave It All Out On The Field! I LOVE the term, "leave it all out on the field!" There is something totally radical and badass about the idea of "leaving it all out on the field!" It means we are committed to the hard work. It demonstrates that we are ready to feel some discomfort. "Leaving it out on the field" describes giving it your everything. I LOVE it! How does this apply to Mindfulness? The degree that you "leave it out on the field" is a great way to describe Willingness. Willingness is radically accepting and giving consent to our present experience. We can conceptualize Willingness as scale, similar to a continuum. 0/10 Willingness implies we have absolutely NO willingness to be uncomfortable (or have anxiety, intrusive thoughts, panic, have uncertainty). We reject all feelings of discomfort Fear makes our decisions (causing us to do more compulsions) Disown any negative experience 10/10 Willingness is saying 100% "YES" to whatever experience of discomfort that arises Radically accepting the feared outcome Allowing yourself to have anxiety, fear and intrusive thoughts. You LEFT IT ALL OUT ON THE FIELD! Listen to hear ways to increase your WILLINGNESS, even if it is just a teeny, tiny bit. Enjoy! And Happy Thanksgiving!
23:1324/11/2017
Episode # 23: The Mindful Use of Technology with Dr. Dustin Weissman
The Mindful Use of Technology Hi everyone! I hope this finds you well. This podcast is about a topic that is so important and so interesting to me. In this episode, we speak with screen time expert, Dr Dustin Weissman about how to use technology (smart phones, tablets, internet etc) in a mindful and healthy way. We specifically discuss how to manage Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), OCD Spectrum Disorders such as Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), and Eating Disorders. In this episode, we discussed: Does technology improve or harm our Self-Esteem? How can we create a Balanced lifestyle when using technology? How can Parents monitor and moderate their children's use? How can Parents practice sound and mindful discipline using technology as the reward or consequence? How can we, as adults, monitor and manage our use of technology in this era of information? How can we manage the compulsive use of internet/mobile devices for those with OCD and BDD? How can we manage reassurance seeking behaviors related to technology use? Special tips for those with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) and Eating Disorders. Earlier this year, Dr Weissman published his dissertation titled, Impacts of Playing Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Games (MMORPGs) on Individuals' Subjective Sense of Feeling Connected with Others. Some links we discussed in the Podcast: Quality Time APP: http://www.qualitytimeapp.com/faq/ MindSpace Meditation APP: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/mindspace/id967886308?mt=8 About Dr. Weissman: Dr. Dustin Weissman holds a Psychology Doctorate and works in private practice in Westlake Village, CA. He works with clients who are struggling with any form of internet addiction or problematic internet use, which include: online gaming, gambling, pornography, or smartphone addiction. Earlier this year, he published his dissertation, Impacts of Playing Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Games (MMORPGs) on Individuals' Subjective Sense of Feeling Connected with Others. A link can be found from his personal website, DustinWeissman.com. He was recently featured as an expert on screen time in an online article and has given numerous workshops. I hope you found this episode helpful. I know I did! Warmly, Kimberley
37:5615/11/2017
Episode #22: "Why Not Me?" and Our Limiting Beliefs
Got something you really want to achieve? I am guessing that you most certainly do. What is holding you back from taking on this thing you want achieve? Why can't you reach this goal? This is the big question that I am toying with right now. Why can't I? Why not Me? Why not you? It is a really tough subject, because we have to face ourselves and our possibilities, and this can be SUPER scary. Sometimes, at least for me, when we look at our big goals, we are forces to tackle our deepest limiting beliefs. "I am not enough." "I am not strong enough." "No one cares about me anyway." "What's the point. I will only ruin everything anyway." These are all limiting beliefs that stop us from reaching realistic goals. Think about it. I am guessing at least one person (or maybe millions of people) have achieved your goal, or a goal like it, already. WHY NOT YOU? "It's not special if someone else has already done it." LIMITING BELIEF!!! "I don't have what it takes!" How do you know? Thomas Edison failed 1000's of times to make the light bulb. That is one piece of proof that you probably can! Persistence people! Let's really get to know our limiting beliefs and then be SUPER mindful about them. Listen to hear more about how. :)
08:5305/11/2017
Episode #21: Listeners Ask Questions about Mindfulness for Anxiety, OCD and Other Stuff
Happy Halloween everyone! It's one of my favorite months and I LOVE that everyone is so willing to be afraid on this special day. Let's all commit to being willing to be scared/afraid/anxious every day, shall we? This episode is a little different to the normal format. Today, I answer questions from Your Anxiety Toolkit listeners about anxiety, OCD, Mindfulness and appropriate treatment for certain disorders. Questions include: How to manage Postpartum OCD (including thoughts of hurting our children) How to help someone with Scrupulocity or Moral Obsessions (including fear of offending God or sinning) How to help a son with OCD and Tic Disorder How to manage thoughts about Death GREAT, GREAT QUESTIONS! I hope my answers were helpful Have a wonderful day everyone!
26:2923/10/2017
Episode #20: Managing Anxiety When The News Is So Scary (A message from me to you)
Hi there guys! I couldn't finish the day without checking in with you and sending you my support after such a difficult day. This podcast was not planned and I kind of threw it together at the last minute. I hope it is helpful. For anyone in Las Vegas or Puerto Rico or any other place where there is destruction and pain, please know that I am praying for you and I hold you in my heart. These scary events can trigger our already high anxiety, so please listen for some tips and tools to manage your anxiety about the current events and affairs in the news. A couple of important points: Anger Sadness and Anxiety/Fear are all very human responses to these horrific events. Obsessions to look out for: "Will this happen to me, or a loved one?" Intrusive Imagery (Mental images of people suffering from traumatic events, shootings, hurricanes, earthquakes etc) Intrusive sounds (Gun shots, people crying, sobbing, screaming, sirens etc) For those with Harm OCD: "Am I capable of doing such an act?" Compulsions to look out for Mental Review or Mental Compulsions about the event or possibility of this happening to you or a loved one Reassurance Seeking (checking news, checking phones, asking a loved one if they will be ok etc) Avoidance (future vacations, work, school, thought blocking, etc) Increase in physical behaviors/compulsions.
16:3803/10/2017
Episode #19: Nature just might be the ULTIMATE Mindfulness Tool (with Zoe Gillis)
If you are anything like me, the days go by too fast and you find yourself running through the day without stopping to take in the beauty of nature. Is it just me? Today, I was lucky enough to interview Zoe Gillis, who I consider to be the MASTER of combining mindfulness with a wilderness practice. She combines hiking, backpacking and camping with Mindfulness and Meditation as a way to get a deeper understanding of our self and each other. It is BRILLIANT stuff and it makes me want to pack my bags and go camp in the dessert right now! Zoe is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a wilderness guide who is the founder of Z Adventures. Z Adventures thrives on the belief that we need to disconnect before we can connect and step out into the wilderness more often. During this podcast, Zoe and I discuss: Ways to introduce nature into your mindfulness practice. How being in nature can help us identify how we see ourselves How being in nature can help us identify our strengths and weaknesses. The benefits of doing short vs. longer wilderness activities This is possibly one of my favorite episodes so far, so check it out! Click HERE to watch the interview on YouTube You can learn more about Zoe Gillis or Z Adventures at the below links: Zadventures.life http://www.zoegillis.com/ https://www.facebook.com/zadventuresla/ https://www.instagram.com/z_adventures/?hl=en
33:1028/09/2017
Episode #18: How To Heal Self-Blame With Self-Forgiveness (Ho'oponopono Meditation)
How to Heal Self-Blame with Self-Forgiveness using Ho'oponopono Meditation If you are anything like me, you are quick to blame yourself for any of the below reasons: You have not achieved some level or expectation. You tried to better yourself and you "failed." You made a mistake (unintentional) or had an accident (I call this, “You Did a human” AKA Making a human mistake) Especially for you, if you have OCD; You have “bad” thoughts, intrusive thoughts, thoughts you deem "unacceptable." You feel like you are a BAD person who doesn't EVER deserve to be forgiven. You are attempting to work through your mental health issues. You struggle to do exposures or follow some treatment goal. You experience self-disgust (for having pimples, cellulite, intrusive thoughts etc. My main message in this podcast is this: HUMANS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE PERFECT! HUMANS ARE ALWAYS AND FOREVER GOING TO MAKE MISTAKES! This podcast details a practice called Ho’oponopono. Ho-oponopon is a spiritual practice of harmony between people, nature and spirit that has been used in Hawaiian and other Polynesian cultures for centuries. Ho’oponopono Key Concept: We can heal our own wounds and then we can then go out and heal our world. Ho'oponopono Meditation Foundation: I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you. Here are some ridiculous reason to not practice Self-Forgiveness: You only deserve Self-Forgiveness after you make the world better (giving service to others). If you forgive myself, you will stop caring and let yourself go and become and even worse person. Once you are perfect, then you can forgive yourself. If you blame myself first, it will hurt less if someone else blames you or notices your imperfections. Please do not let these reason stop you from freeing yourself from Self-Blame. Give it a try and see if it works for you! I found it to be a very powerful practice. Have a great week!
22:2821/09/2017
Episode #17: What You Say To Yourself Matters
What You Say To Yourself Matters. More importantly, what you say to yourself about anxiety matters! In this podcast, I delve into the importance of accurate and mindful language, specifically related to how to experience and manage anxiety. Believe it or not, the story you tell yourself can greatly change the way you see yourself and the world around you. The way we talk to ourselves about our experience of anxiety can greatly affect the management of our anxiety, and can create a platform for whether we thrive or merely survive our anxiety. To help us conceptualize this subject, I use a fictional example, Mary. My hope is that Mary can help us understand the complexity of our negative thinking and help us to find new ways to talk to ourselves about our anxiety. Example: Mary has anxiety and wakes up and feeling anxious. She immediately thinks, “I am so anxious”, “Something bad is going to happen”, “It isn’t fair that this is happening”, and “Why me?” She goes off to work, repeating in her head, “I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I can’t do this…” What she is telling herself: Things are bad Things aren’t going to get better She is the victim. That she has no choices here She doesn’t have coping skills/ She will not survive this event What you can do differently: During this podcast, I discuss four key steps you can take to improve your personal narrative about your anxiety. They steps will lead you towards more mindful and helpful approach to talking about your anxiety. I have outlined a step-by-step plan to help you better manage your narrative related to anxiety. We go into greater detail in the podcast, so enjoy listening! _______________________ 4-point plan to creating a more Mindful Narrative Be objective, not subjective See Episode #1: The Skill or Non-Judgment for more info Be in the present moment See Episode #8: Skill of Awareness for more info Take responsibility for your experience Practice Uncertainty See Episode #6: The Beginners Mind for more info _____________________ To help you along with practicing these steps, I have also created a fun PDF that you can download/print and use at your leisure. Sign up below to get access to all the Podcast Add-ons! [embed_popupally_pro popup_id="3"] I challenge you to try this as much as you can and see the difference it makes. Small changes lead to large changes, so don’t be afraid to try it a little at a time. Even trying it once a day can get the ball rolling. Enjoy! This podcast should not replace professional mental health care. This podcast is for education purposes only. If you feel you would benefit by seeing a clinical professional, please contact a professional mental health care provider in your area.
16:3019/08/2017
Episode #16: Guilt, Shame and being "SO OCD" with CBT ROCKSTAR Shala Nicely
GUILT, SHAME and being “SO OCD” with Shala Nicely I am honored to share with you a recent interview I did with OCD ROCKSTAR and dear friend, Shala Nicely. Shala is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Atlanta and treats OCD and OCD Spectrum Disorders using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I briefly outlined the conversation and left all the links discussed during the podcast. Enjoy! Shala recently wrote an awesome blog post article about a top women’s magazine that posted an article encouraging readers to “be a little OCD!” Shala declared enough was enough and got writing. Shala and her ROCKSTAR mom are doing so much to advocate for the OCD community. See the below link to check it out. http://www.shalanicely.com/misc/aha-moments-magazine-encouraging-us-little-ocd/ How do you respond when people say, “I am SO OCD?” Shala reports that she always aims to never shame anyone. For this reason, she talked about polite and non-shaming ways to educate others on what OCD and how painful and debilitating it can be. How does it feel when you hear someone say "I am so OCD"? “First, frustration”, but then desire to educate others about the severity of OCD and other mental health disorders. Are people with OCD, “SO OCD?” In today’s society, being “SO OCD” is generalized to describe someone who is meticulous and likes symmetry and neatness. This is not typical for someone with OCD. Someone who has severe OCD might be entirely ok with a dirty bedroom and not need symmetry or cleanliness at all. It is important that we educate people about the specific sub-types of OCD so that people better understand the complexities and variety of OCD symptoms. Go to Iocdf.org for more information How can we manage the shame and guilt that comes with having OCD or another mental health disorder? Brene Brown has written some AWESOME literature and has done amazing research about shame and guilt. Because Shame and Guilt are so common amongst those with OCD, Anxiety, Eating Disorders and Body- Focused Repetitive Disorders, we both strongly encourage listeners to read any of her books. Kimberley also discussed Brene’s explanation of how to identify if you can trust someone. Check out the link below to watch. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewngFnXcqao Shala’s FAVORITE mindfulness tool: Dan Harris' 10% Happier book and App. https://www.amazon.com/10-Happier-Self-Help-Actually-Works/dp/0062265431/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1500508777&sr=8-1&keywords=10%25+happier How to find out more about Shala Nicely Shalanicely.com Beyondthedoubt.com/keywords You can also watch the unedited version of this podcast below https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4zPJTCORqg&t=8s
36:5520/07/2017
Episode #15: Finding your Village
Hello everyone! I am excited to share this months podcast, as we are joined by what I call a CBT SUPERSTAR, Sara Vicendese. Sara is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) in addition to traditional PsychoDynamic therapy. This podcast is based on the phrase, "It takes a village to raise a child". This phrase is used often to explain the importance of community when raising a thriving and successful child. We believe that you can create your own "micro-village" to help you along with your recovery. Today we talk about ways to create YOUR "Village" (in whatever form you think is helpful) to help you with your on personal recovery. We discuss how to find the correct treatment, access the most helpful resources and how to include your family members, friends or partners in your recovery, in a healthy and helpful way. Below is a basic layout of our conversation. Enjoy!!! Today we talk about ways to create YOUR "Village". What is the most effective form of treatment for OCD, and how do I find a therapist who provides it? Sara talks about the difference between Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) including Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) and psychodynamic “talk” therapy, specifically focusing on: How to interview your therapist: what questions to ask, how to ask them, and the importance of interviewing therapists without assuming that everyone with a degree is going to be the right fit. How to know what kind of therapy you’re in. How do you find a good ERP Therapist Check out IOCDF.org for a list of therapists who are trained in CBT and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). Once in contact with a therapist, ask if they know what ERP is? Ask what books they rely on when treating OCD? (This might allow you to screen them for their knowledge) Ask if they have they worked with OCD before and for how long? Where did they get their training How do you know your current therapy is or isn’t working? Sara writes, “A lot of dynamic therapists will stress that things can “get worse before they get better,” encouraging clients to wait months – or even years – to see the benefits of their work. It’s true that in any therapy, including ERP, you will likely feel worse before you start to feel better…but if months go by and you aren’t experiencing any reduction in symptoms OR if you notice – at any time – that you are getting significantly worse, it is likely time to move on.” What advice do you have for those who cannot find an ERP therapist in their area? Or, for those who can only afford a therapist in-network who does not know about ERP? There are some awesome workbooks out there for OCD. (Mindfulness Workbook for OCD, The OCD Workbook, Trichotillomania: An ACT-enhanced Behavior Therapy Approach Workbook) Ask your non-ERP therapist to read these workbooks (depending on your symptoms) ahead of time and go through them together in session. There are also so awesome online forums (Yahoo groups are GREAT) or online resources such as IOCDF.org, OCD stories etc (See my resources page for more info) Also consider the potential for Skype or teletherapy (always ask the therapist if they are legally allowed to see you from the state they are licensed in, depending on where you life) What advice do you have for those who want to start ERP treatment, but currently have a non-ERP therapist? Sara writes: “There are really two options here; you can leave your current therapist and start with an ERP therapist, OR you can explore the potential of seeing both at the same time.” Sara discusses the importance of collaboration and making sure that both therapists are in regular touch with each other – to prevent each therapist from working against each other. Sara encouraged therapists to coordinate care and maintain the effectiveness of both. What advice do YOU give to the family members of those who are struggling with mental health issues such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB's) or Eating disorders? Living with, and loving, someone with these disorders can be extremely challenging and it’s critical that all members of the family are as healthy as possible for everyone to thrive. Jon Hershfield’s book is great in this situation, as psycho-education is so important. Sara discusses the importance of involving family in treatment as appropriate (assuming family is supportive and including them wouldn’t be detrimental to treatment). Sara also discussed how she often recommends that family members seek out their own support – either through support groups or personal therapy. Kimberley discusses to use of the Family Accommodation Scale (FAC) to identify ways the family are accommodating the OCD compulsions. Click here for a link to the Family Accommodation Scale. Is there a kind of therapy can benefit the spouse or parent or family member of someone with OCD or other anxiety disorder, or a BFRB? Individual therapy (and/or support groups) for the family member can be very successful. In addition, there is great benefits from continuing to be educated about the loved ones disorder and get consultation on the best ways to support them though their recovery process. What can a sufferer do when their family member or friend is not supportive of their recovery? This is a tough, but important, question. Being unsupportive can take many different forms, from simply not understanding / participating in treatment to (on the other extreme end) working against treatment or purposely interfering with it. Someone who is not supportive of treatment is someone who is, in some way, colluding with the illness. Maybe recovery would mean that their life will be more difficult for them, or perhaps the treatment itself is hard to tolerate. Sara discusses how she often see families where more than one member is suffering from the disorder – however, only one is diagnosed and in treatment. If one partner is going through ERP, that can stress the relationship if the other partner has similar undiagnosed issues. Sometimes people aren’t supportive of recovery because it is hard at first and requires more energy/work than they are willing to put in. I can think of an example where a parent consistently disrupted treatment for their child because they didn’t want to see them in distress and the increased anxiety in the household during exposures made them uncomfortable. A highly anxious parent may have as much trouble with their child’s exposures as the child – for their own reasons. In most cases, most people get on board given enough time and education. That said, we are faced with tough decisions if our loved ones / friends interfere with treatment. Again, it is important that loved ones be brought into treatment, encouraging them to get their own support, and even the option of moving on from the relationship if it is keeping the sufferer stuck. Sara Vicendese has a private practice in Westwood, CA. Learn more about Sara on her website at http://saravicendese.com/ You may also see the unedited video interview here
37:4203/07/2017