Rachel's very favorite type of bread! Griffin's favorite time to go to a movie! Rachel's favorite unofficial mascot! Griffin's inexplicable favorite sitcom character! Music: "Money Won't Pay" by Bo En and Augustus: https://open.spotify.com/track/5hs2nY40aeqM0mpP8SBOon

We hope you like hearing about arcane Four Square rules, because, Good Lord, do we go on a deep dive in this episode. We also talk about The Best New Animal, and some of our favorite food shapes. Music: "Money Won't Pay" by Bo En and Augustus: https://open.spotify.com/track/5hs2nY40aeqM0mpP8SBOon

Welcome to Wonderful! It's a show all about being enthusiastic about the good things in our lives, and the lives of others. In this, our maiden voyage, we're celebrating Carly Rae Jepsen's Words Of Power, baseball movies, the Grand Prize Game, and so much more. Join us, won't you? Music: "Money Won't Pay" by Bo En and Augustus: https://open.spotify.com/track/5hs2nY40aeqM0mpP8SBOon

Oh, you haven't heard of International Date Line? It's only the hot new romantic television property created by Rachel and Griffin, two of Hollywood's most in-demand pitchmasters. Join them as they develop this show in this special episode of Rose Buddies!

For today's Roze Buddiez, we watched a couple episodes of Married at First Sight, and learned all about science, and data, and love, and responsibility. Everything in this show is so scientific, and so very, deeply responsible.

As we begin our journey away from the Bachelor franchise, we make a quick pit stop at Love Connection, which is a pretty inaccurate name for a show in which strangers take turns hating each other as hard as they possibly can.

Rachel's season of The Bachelorette came to a close earlier this week in an infuriating three-hour finale. Join us as we discuss the heartbreak and frustration of that conclusion, and hear ALL ABOUT the exciting new programs debuting THIS FALL on ABC!!!!!!!!!

We super didn't want to recap The Men Tell All, so instead, we are subjecting you to this: An hour-long discussion about all the mostly awful baby television we've watched this year. Enjoy?

We decided to go with this episode title because it's the literal only premise of the two-hour-long episode of primetime television we watched earlier this week. Also: The remaining suitors meet the family, and begin their journey to the Fantasy Suite.

Join us for a whistle-stop tour of America as we follow Rachel's journey to meet her four suitors' families! They went ... mostly ... okay, with one pretty exploitative exception. Recommended reading: http://jezebel.com/this-promo-is-all-you-need-to-know-about-how-bachelor-i-1797003991 https://www.vox.com/culture/2017/7/18/15990408/bachelor-in-paradise-season-4-sexual-assault-controversy

We're getting down to the end of Rachel's tenure as Bachelorette, and -- you guessed it -- we're right back in that pre-hometowns slump. Join us as we dive into all the hot dates from this week, and as we discuss the SHOCKING eliminations as we get down to the final four.

There was no new episode of The Bachelorette this week, but we wanted to record SOMETHING, and this is the result of that desire. We're basically just talking about our favorite stuff in the least Goopy way we can muster.

In this feature-length Rose Buddies, we break down the two episodes of Bachelorette that aired this week. I don't know if the Congressional Medal of Honor has ever been awarded for recapping four hours of garbage-time television, but hey, there's a first time for everything. Additional reading: http://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/the-vexing-racial-politics-of-this-seasons-bachelorette https://theringer.com/the-bachelorette-episode-6-recap-rachel-lindsay-170377b84594 http://www.thedailybeast.com/the-bachelor-franchise-is-exploiting-race-for-ratings https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/28/arts/television/bachelorette-rachel-lee-kenny.html https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2017/06/the-bachelorette-reveals-itself-for-what-it-is/532002/

Fair warning: This is a pretty tough episode to listen to, and it was a pretty tough episode to record. We're covering everything that went down during the suspension of Bachelor in Paradise, and also recapping a super problematic episode of The Bachelorette. There's a lot of rotten stuff happening right now that we're trying to sort out; we ask for some patience as we figure out what comes next. CW: Racism, Sexual Assault Additional Reading: http://www.refinery29.com/2017/06/160041/bachelorette-lee-garrett-provoking-kenny-angry-black-man http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/abc-racism-on-the-bachelorette-is-not-entertaining-its-gross_us_594896bce4b07499199e13b0 https://theringer.com/bachelorette-week-4-recap-a7bd701d239

This week's episode of The Bachelorette featured a lot of fun dates and a lot of super-not-fun horseshit back at the mansion. Not literal horse shit, mind you -- we all know this franchise is too afraid to actually deliver on THOSE goods.

This week's episode had it all: The blossoming of new love, an adorable dog attending a dog party, a marriage-themed obstacle course, and, of course, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. It just methodically checks off all the elements required for a good episode of television. Additional Reading: https://www.bustle.com/p/peter-rachel-praised-therapy-on-the-bachelorette-in-a-huge-move-for-destigmatizing-mental-health-issues-60969 http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/kareem-abdul-jabbar-my-journey-bachelorette-critic-guest-star-guest-column-1006560

The new season of Bachelorette has begun! In today's episode, we discuss Rachel's fateful meeting with 31 eligible bachelors, a few of whom are just absolute bridge trolls. The same cannot be said for A.J., who is the light of our lives, the sun in our sky and the light unto our path. Let's go! Additional Reading: http://www.marieclaire.com/culture/news/a27304/the-bachelorette-2017-premiere-recap/ http://www.npr.org/2017/05/23/529705257/the-bachelorette-may-have-a-black-star-but-its-still-set-in-a-white-world http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/why-it-matters-that-white-people-are-watching-a-black-bachelorette_us_59232998e4b03b485cb3d554

We did it. We beat it. We finished watching the final four episodes of Bachelor Pad Season Two in a single week, a feat that we wouldn't recommend trying to recreate at home. See you next week for the Bachelorette premiere!

We're halfway through watching this season of Bachelor Pad, and boy howdy, do we feel guilty about watching any of it. It was like we were really thirsty, dying in a desert of bad television, and now we're quenching ourselves on straight-up toilet water.

After talking about it constantly during the span of this podcast, we're FINALLY discussing Bachelor Pad, the short-lived offshoot of the franchise we know and ... tolerate. Specifically, the second season of Bachelor Pad, which pops off very hard in the premiere and never really stops.

The mid-2000s were a challenging time for all of us, particularly those who were enrolled in reality television programs like Dating in the Dark. This is a show in which strangers are trapped together in a cave, and then tasked with smooching their way out. Join us for another week of erudite discussion on this next-level skeleton-evacuating experience.

Holy shit, what a trash fire. We're sorry we made anyone watch this. Because, like, DAMN. Every minute of this thing was worst than the previous minute, and this bad boy started out with a pretty rough first minute, so. WOOF.

This week, we're hungrily tearing into the new Ellen DeGeneres/Drew Barrymore collabo First Dates, in which a bunch of folks go on First Dates with varying degrees of success. It's a breath of fresh air, y'all.

We're fresh off the MaxFunDrive, and ... well, okay, "fresh" maybe isn't the right word. We are shambling husks of our former selves, full stop. But that's not going to stop us from finishing up our recap of the very first season of The Bachelorette!

Happy week two of the MaxFunDrive! We hope you'll think about supporting our show if you've got the means! Either way, we're gonna recap the first season of The Bachelorette for you so, so right.

Happy MaxFunDrive, everybody! It's our first year on the network, and we're so excited to take part in this two-week celebration of ... well, us, I guess? And you! It's a love story, in a manner of speaking. Also, we're recapping the first eight episodes of Terrace House: Aloha State!

It's finale time! Well, yesterday was finale time, technically speaking. Right now it's recap time! Who did Nick choose to propose to in his season's final hours? I mean, you know, of course, but let's all pretend like it's a big surprise, okay?

Boy howdy, our bodies are simply no longer capable of consuming three hours of this television show in one sitting. Like, our nervous system violently rejects exposure to that much unfiltered Bachelor. Still, we weathered the storm to bring you this sleepy, penultimate episode of Nick's season!

Somehow, SOMEHOW, we created a podcast episode that is just as long as the hour-long episode of television that we're recapping. Which like, at this point, I don't even know if you can call that a recap, really. I think this might actually be a remake.

WHAT A GOOD EPISODE OF THE BACHELOR!!! We were very excited to talk about the good, good families that these women have, and how Nick is going to systematically disappoint them as we reach this season's final stretch. Join us, won't you?

It's Go-Homes week on the Bachelor as Nick narrows down the roster to this season's Final Four. Which, of course, means this episode was kind of lame -- BUT -- we got a big surprise announcement in the form of confirmation of the next Bachelorette! Join us as we just freak the hell out about it.

We don't know where to even begin talking about this episode. It was seriously the most bizarre two hours of programming this franchise has ever put together, complete with inscrutable plot twists and 180-degree tonal shifts that changed the course of the season with virtually no explanation. It's a wild, wild ride, and we're gonna guide you through it.

There's dark clouds on the horizon, but we're not focused on those -- instead, we're keeping our eyes on the delightful moments of yesterday's episode of The Bachelor. Namely, when a bunch of women were INSPIRITED BY A SPECTRAL CHILD.

HEEEEYYYYYYYYY DO YOU ALL LIKE CORRRRRRRRNNNNN?!?!?! This is a Corn-heavy episode, because the Bachelor has become a television show that's exclusively about Corn, and her wayward journey to find love.

Did we all communally experience last night's episode of The Bachelor in a group fever dream? Did we really witness a Backstreet Boys dance-off, a floating post-yartz smooch and a bouncy castle hook-up? IS THIS THE MATRIX? ARE WE IN THE MATRIX?

Where to begin? This episode of The Bachelor was an absolute barn burner -- we had competition, heartbreak, and more cringeworthy interactions than we ever dreamed one two-hour television episode could contain. Hold onto your butts, and also someone else's butt, because that's the order of the day, folks.

AW HELL YEAH. It's a new season of The Bachelor, and to celebrate, we've joined forces with the Maximum Fun network. Welcome to our new listeners! Just a heads up: We don't usually talk about the elemental composition of vaginas as much as we do in this one. It's a very special occasion.

PREPARE FOR BLASTOFF. We're diving into the details and stats of ALL 30 of the contestants for the upcoming season of The Bachelorette. Will Nick Viall, that milk-fed beauty, find love this time around? Like they always say, the third time's the charm! And if it isn't, then fuck it, give 'em a fourth time. Let's keep throwing this dude-spaghetti at the wall until he sticks.

We're about to hop right into another season of the Bachelor -- but before we do, we wanted to take a trip through time to revisit the very first season of this beloved television franchise. We're gonna party like it's 2002. Which means we're ALL getting our hair straightened.

Here's the situation: We didn't really have time to watch a reality dating show and prepare an episode for you this week. In lieu of our regular topic of conversation, we're talking about a different dating story, which is to say, our own. It's about to get vulnerable as heck up in here.

We're back from our week of parental absence, and we're here to serve as exasperating ambassadors to our new favorite television show on Earth: Terrace House: Boys and Girls in the City.

Our time with The Bachelorette Canada draws to a close in this week's Rose Buddies. Who's getting down on one knee? Who's going to win Jasmine's heart? Who the hell is the Canadian equivalent of Neil Lane? All this and more inside.

We're talking about a blissfully brief Men Tell All episode of The Bachelorette Canada this week, and preparing ourselves emotionally for the season's upcoming finale. We're going to miss you, Canada. Desperately.

We spend the first ten minutes of this hour-long podcast just rambling about straight-up garbage, which we hope you can forgive us for. After that, though: The hard work of deciding between the two final boys of The Bachelorette Canada!

It's Hometowns time! Canadian Hometowns are just like our American Hometowns, as it turns out, except the families are extra polite, and also there's only three of them. Come here us rank these folks' actual human families, and discuss the merits of a new, surprisingly educational YouTube channel.

The Bachelorette Canada is really getting down to the wire now, as Jasmine tries to whittle the list of boys down to a tight three before hometowns. Who will succumb to the BLOOD SACRIFICE?!?! Nah, we're just playing. Everything turns out pretty okay.

Alright, so, this one goes off on some WILD tangents, but we think they're worth pursuing. When not talking about the chart-topping hits of the late 90s, we also dive into this week's episode of The Bachelorette Canada!

Boy howdy, what a challenging episode. Between the non-stop gags, original music and foot-smoochin', our skeletons had a REAL hard time staying up in our bodies while watching Bachelorette Canada. But we stuck with it, because we know how bad you need this.