Emily and Ky are firing up the vcr, bringing in some special guests, and getting out the dump cake for the last Spooky Season episode of 2023! Don’t listen if you feel faint at the sight of ketchup! Do listen if you love giant earmuffs and puberty! Is it a day late? Yes, it is. What do you want?? Halloween is our busy season!

Things are heating up at combination Opera House and Torture Chamber! No seriously, two men might die because the phantom made a room super hot. Also there’s a strangler now, so that’s fun! You’ll need your snake arm to survive the second half of this silent horror classic, but not your whits about you because absolutely no one has a plan! Except our leading lady who hates her teacher because he’s ugly: she always plays dead! Emily and Ky have questions, mostly about the torture chamber in the basement. Cue it up (we gave you a time stamp this time), and watch along!

Emily and Ky had so much fun with their Nosferatu watch-along last SpooOOOky Season they just had to do it again! So pull up Phantom of the Opera on YouTube and tell the Google to play so you can listen in as Emily and Ky declare the Paris Opera House under new management, multiple characters extremely high, and the basement very flooded. This classic silent horror film features a gaggle of silly dancers, trap door shenanigans, mysterious figures, a housekeeper who’s not getting paid enough, heavy handed lighting choices, and a dramatic reveal that…honestly kind of holds up. Pour your pumpkin ale in a goblet and buckle up, then tune in next week for the rest of the movie because you know it had to be a two-parter!

SpooOOOky Season is here!!! So let’s watch a Disney Channel Original Movie from the ‘90’s! This episode has all your favorites: philosophical enquiries, your hosts getting hopelessly lost in the weeds! Our Bridge too Far! Irrelevant tangents! Cleveland! Cheese! Plus, our hottest new segment, Emily’s Queer Corner! You know it’s all Spooky all the time for October, so leave us that voice memo or slide into our dm’s on the ig and tell us what kind of cheese you’d be!

Emily and Ky are back with the ultimate Queer Autumn Kick-Off! It’s Over the Garden Wall! Featuring seasonal frog ferries, betrayal, dreamscapes, flashbacks, allegories for Satan, and silly Spanish instructors! Plus, get geared up for SpooOOky Season, starting next week!

Happy Autumn, Cephalopods! It’s either Fall already, or it will be after midnight, so pull out your flannels and order your pumpkin spice! It’s time for the queerest of cool weather and spooky season harbingers, Over the Garden Wall! Emily and Ky are diving right in with every spoiler, so watch it first if you haven’t yet! The way the plot slowly unspools over the course of the series is so good! They’re gushing over every character, plot line, and episode…but only the first five are in this week’s because you know it had to be a two-parter! It’s also a surprise Grand Daddy Wiz episode, because Emily and Ky don’t know who anybody is! They’re tackling the hard hitting questions like, if you were turned into a bird…would you want to be turned back? And, why did that Love in my Tummy song happen? No one can know, least of all the Yummy Dummies!

Emily and Ky are the streets, and they are here with absolutely no warning to talk about a whiny unicorn with regret, a horny butterfly, a little wizard twink, and a tree’s tits. It’s Peter S. Beagle’s modern classic turned 80’s kids trauma fuel, The Last Unicorn! Who is the Red Bull? Was Molly Grue queer? Is innocence something to celebrate? Does Ky need to watch this movie again? Is love worth it? Obviously, no one can know. But you can know which character dies so abruptly that Emily can’t stop laughing about it! “Listen! Listen! Don’t listen to me, listen!”

Emily and Ky went so far off the rails the last time they recorded, they came full circle and responsibly recorded another episode! Or at least half of one! They might have done that this time around, too, but you’ll have to subscribe to their (haunted) patreon at the $1 level in order to know. But what you can know is that Emily was deprived of playgrounds almost her entire elementary school career, and Ky was sheltered. Also Emily liked to throw jump ropes into a muddy abyss, and Ky was a cat in a corner. Were either of them cool? Place your bets!

Ok so Emily watched Little Shop of Horrors like two months ago, and Ky watched it last night, and their special guest whose name they drew out of a hat is like actually a fan, and your hosts got suuuuuper crossfaded, and, well, here we go! Does this musical feature the song, “My Pal Foot Foot” by the Shags? What is the proper protocol if you give someone money to play a slot machine with and they win? Is the dentist really Steve Martin? Are surgeons sociopaths? Is the plant horny? All this plus time dilation!

Emily and Ky are continuing to be confused by Stuart Little. Important notes include, you cannot accidentally sail a fucking boat, a flagrant refusal to consider Snowbell’s sentience, who Nathan Laine is, and elementary school classic: The Mouse and the Motorcycle. Also we gotta dig into it. Is this movie a metaphor? Did no one consider the ramifications of saying mice are bad at paperwork???

The gang’s all here, so let’s start little! Your hosts are little whores, little hoes, and it’s all downhill from there! What’s weirder? Adopting a mouse, and not telling anybody, or marrying a cat and telling the internet? This episode is full of surprises! Do we get through the whole movie? Absolutely not, so tune in next week for part 2! Did I mention Emily and Ky respect women?

Emily and Ky just need to dig into this, ok? Or maybe just Emily does. It’s complicated. It’s silly. It’s a cultural anomaly that felt eternal and unchanging. It’s Christian alternative rock from the early aughts! Tune in for technical difficulties, computer struggles, youth group deep dives, controversial teen hang-outs, and that all-important question, were the guys in Relient K ok?? We can’t know, because Emily never asked.

Emily and Ky are still on the beach. In fact, they may still be on the beach to this day! No one can know. And today they’re sharing with you a film that has them all fired up for all the wrong reasons: The Gymnast. How can a film hit on so many niche references to a hyper specific era of a tiny sub culture, and still feel so utterly out of touch, and unrelatable? Well, at least it’s not queer baiting (spoiler alert!). Get ready for poor acting, cringey sex scenes, wandering plot lines, and the most absurd end credits scene of all time. Thank God for that third margarita!

Emily and Ky are treating themselves to a relaxing and rejuvenating beach day…but hard hitting moguls that they are, they’re obviously recording a podcast while they’re out there. Join them for adventures in margarita procurement, breakfast pontification, a last-minute topic change, taking a chance on some sketchy memories of a movie they watched two and a half months ago, and the kind of deep, thoughtful theological takes you can only come to after years of healing your religious trauma by doing shrooms. Also they have beef. But not really!!! Unless you don’t follow them on Instagram. 😒

Emily and Ky are waxing nostalgic about their overnight camp days! Girl Scout camp, and Jesus camp shenanigans, and of course, those amazing camp songs! Why did people die in so many of Emily’s? Why do none of these songs make sense? Is it time for a whole new generation of songs based entirely around “Icecream Paint Job”? Yes, obviously. They’re also sharing an exclusive first look at those top patreon tiers! Remember, no one will be mad if you steal your friends’ phones and Venmo us!

Emily and Ky have more to say about how utterly bizarre it is to care more about an old document than a human life, how museums are full of stolen shit, and how the nerdy guy is better than the arrogant jerk every fucking time. This movie is wild. Anyway, abolish prisons.

Apparently Emily and Ky have never done National Treasure because Ky finds Nicholas Cage’s face to be annoying. Or maybe it’s his hair?? Anyway, your favorite imbibers have a lot to say about fetishizing historical objects, the banality of nationalism, Nicholas Cage’s acting skills, and that time in 2005 Emily and her brother committed their own heist. It’s a two-parter, so come back next week!

Emily is recording (a)live from a Republican fundraiser (family is weird, ok?) where she managed to punch no one in the face, and talk about class consciousness with her sister’s co-workers, so if she seems a little extra punchy this episode…don’t say anything. They’re talking about an alarmingly steep hill, an eight pound wheel of cheese, balancing risk and reward, the pros and cons of tradition, and the lengths we’ll go to celebrate a sister’s birthday. Send us your cheese chasing videos!

Emily and Ky are multitasking, remixing, and theraphizing in this week’s episode. Get ready for all your favorites: Emily failing to censor Ky’s identity, Ky and Emily gossiping about work, no one knowing who actors are, and more! This movie is comedy gold, and this movie on Wine, Weed, Weird is comedy gold squared!

It’s always time for dinosaurs, even when there is no time, because it’s the land before time! Or the land before space? The sun goes ‘wa-wa’?? Something like that…join Emily and Ky (or Jy) as they point our historical inaccuracies, call out prejudice where they see it, and try to figure out what the fuck us going on topographically in this classic film.

It’s time for a song! Mostly because Emily and Ky forgot they needed to record an episode until it was too late to watch anything. But hey, it’s perfect timing for a thematically appropriate summer playlist banger! Especially now that we can breathe the air outside again! Of course, they don’t actually talk about the song that much. High school is a wild time when you have religious/conservative parents, and sometimes you just gotta process. Whether you’re cream on the inside or cream on the outside, you’ll love this delightful episode recorded in Wine Weed Weird studios! Which is a closet. Where Emily and Ky work. Did you know a 24 oz white claw is only $5??

Emily and Ky continue to watch old vhs tapes and be unhinged. This is a classic Emily watched way too many times when she was six and it’s probably why she loves drugs. Come along as they describe all five different times this movie could have ended, confess to wanting to sleep in beards, eat nachos for hot hoes, and consider sustainable alternatives to condoms. Listen, it’s a long movie, but the colors are beautiful!

Join Emily, Ky, and their chill balls for a conversation that’s 25% koala-based puns and butler speculation. They’re dabbling in reality tv and sprinkle sprankling fact checks, general confusion, and shroom-based empathy as they tackle a show that’s so fucked up, they couldn’t even air the whole thing!!! It’s a can’t-miss, and a Wine Weed Weird first! You ever hear of goof balling..?

Emily and Ky are hearkening back to a crazy podcast day to bring you another installment of Bullysmart! Are you looking for the perfect self defense system to compliment your Fox News warped paranoid worldview? Do you not know how to use a phone? Do you hate watching retired pro athletes blink? Have we got a vhs for you! Emily and Ky break down the techniques, and provide their own suggestions for being street smart and safe! Remember kids, it’s good actually, to live in a community and help each other! But emotions are dangerous.

Y’all. It’s Season 3!!!! And it’s not porn!!!! And of course, Emily and Ky are going back to where it all began. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t breaking new ground! They’ve got interviews, fresh takes, and the first complete Wine, Weed, Weird! original parody song! Welcome to season 3, CephaloPods! It’s gonna be litty titty!

Emily and Ky are reminiscing on what has been a truly spectacular second season of Wine, Weed, Weird! How have we had two full seasons? And how were so many episodes so magically unhinged?? We can’t know! But maybe you can? Listen in and get hype for season 3. Emily and Ky have fun surprises, hair brained schemes, incredibly guests, essential follow-ups, and more in store for you!

Emily and Ky have fucking had it. Also they are geniuses. Tune in for Cruciflix, where Emily and Ky discuss a Christian film and bitch about it the whole time. All of us at Wine Weed Weird Headquarters hope our listeners had a wonderful, and very unproductive 420! We did, and that’s why this shit is a day late!

It’s. Our. ONE-HUNDREDTH EPISODE!!!!! And we are celebrating this momentous milestone with so many silly surprises! Emily and Ky are cross-faded and recording in person with the assistance of a random-ass soundboard they googled that has Emily crying in the first two minutes, then Ky launches a brand new common podcast event song, then it’s off to the first ever live-recorded Wine Weed Weird Field Trip because who is guesting on our 100th episode but the motherfucking Corpse Flower!!!! Emily and Ky called her into bloom in episode two of this season, and with just a couple eps to go, here she is! They share their whole journey from lamps for tramps to orchid show, from rain forest to desert, from corpse flower to bathroom break…right up until both their phones are about to die. Then back in the studio, they report on what went down next, and share the greatest 100th Episode gift they could imagine. All of us at Wine Weed Weird Headquarters are beyond thrilled and thankful to have shared this adventure with all of you. Stay with us. Who knows what the next 100 episodes will bring!

Why did it take nearly two whole seasons to get to this very special, near and dear to Emily’s heart? No one can know. There’s just a lot of weirdness in the universe. Also you should stop right now and go watch this movie with zero context before listening because Emily and Ky are spoiling absolutely everything. Not just the movie: also the truth about artificial gravity, the fourth dimension, and nearly the address of where they work. If there’s aliens involved, you know they gotta go to the space corner! You can also learn how directions work in Venice, and get a sneak preview of Emily and Ky’s new children’s book.

Michael and Nell of Secret Formula NY are still with Emily and Ky this week for part 2 of their progressively less hinged discussion of the Super Mario Brothers Super Show! They try the Mario dance, they talk more about the plot…but mostly they consider the logistics of humanoid fairy sex. And octopus sex of course. Tune in for their first ever porn fact check! Buckle up and don’t forget to switch to the maintenance level of drinking!

Join Emily, Ky, and special guests Michael and Nel of Secret Formula to discuss a very, very weird cartoon, and their amazing event, Spoons, Toons, and Booze! Pour yourself a bowl of cereal, brush off your video game knowledge, and prepare to take a hard left into wrestling lore, and marine biology! Is his name Link Zelda? Why is everyone in this cartoon so horny? Did all our childhood favorites only have 65 episodes? How drunk are we?? We got real live cartoon experts, so there’s only one fact check…wait for it…

Join Emily and Ky on a ride that’s even wilder than usual as they compare, contrast, consider, and critique two ear worms, both alike in dignity. Are blue and green opposites? Does this song take place in the ocean? How should one approach a night out? What’s Emily’s favorite takeout salad? We got all your answers, and zero fact checks!

Today Emily and Ky discuss a short film about a secret Brooklyn neighborhood, rich in history, lore, culture, and colorful characters. They also discuss mutual aid, what it means to build community, comparative religion, how cool therapy is, and Ky’s unfortunate texture aversions. But first, they gotta shout out Hank Sinatra Jr, who left them a review on Apple Podcasts! You could do that, too!

Join Emily and Ky recording (a)live and in person in the Wine Weed Weird recording studio…also known as a closet. At a place they work at sometimes. Look, it’s fine. Just like Red and his nephew sit around a camp fire on logs, playing folk tunes, Emily and Ky sit around Emily’s iPhone on rolled up yoga mats sharing their genius insights with you! Do they explain what the show is about? Well…they try! And then they talk about other things, too! Can a titty be sharp? Was Ky bullied as a child? What’s a ship of Theseus?? Do we have an episode called that already? You can’t know. Just keep your stick on the ice, eh?

It’s been a while since we’ve covered a (non-Christmas) song here at Wine Weed Weird headquarters, but it feels like this seminal classic was a long time coming! Turns out, there’s a lot to say about “Peaches”! Is it about sex? Probably, but we’re unclear on how, just like the singer seems to be unclear on the nature of peaches. Emily and Ky also touch on the issue of the enclosure of the commons, the development of technology in their lifetimes, unfortunate makeup trends, and fan-favorite topic: the horrors of space! Love the pod? Share it with at least nine of your friends! And give us a quarter!

Are you ready to be accidentally possessed and/or transported to another dimension? Well it’s too late because Emily and Ky are already there! Get ready to hang out with a creepy kid who loves to sing, dance, pretend, kaaaaaaazoo, and gaslight you about how you know his name when you never said it! It’s a creepy activity video for children from the 80s, so of course Emily and Ky are going to eviscerate it! You won’t want to miss our discussions of restaurant marketing, or Emily’s physics corner! Join your special friends, and keep pretending!

Emily and Ky are back with special guest from our ASMR episode, BP to discuss a weird movie from Ky’s childhood! It’s about rocks. Get ready to learn about the types of rocks, what they’re made of, appropriate beach wear, and, space! Turns out, it’s dire! Or is it? Do we still have these songs stuck in our heads? Yes. Yes, we do.

But it’s also about Mary Poppins! And Sid Vicious! And the dangers of biting off more than you can chew! And the power of believing in yourself! And of course, old men doing Jack shit and then taking all the credit for something accomplished by a woman! Emily and Ky are back for part two with special guest J- P-, and while they do get through the plot, it’s not without some lively debate. When was the moon walk invented? Would they let Angela Lansbury out of her librarian clothes? Was it important that the town thought the old men actually did something? Are you only allowed to join the British army once you turn 65? What lengths will Dr. Major Sid Phyllis Banks Creeper go to avoid fatherhood? Why will no one listen to Paul? Why is Emily the only one who can remember anyone’s names, and why doesn’t this skill extend to real people?? Our heroes got too high. They can barely wheel google, do no one can know, but at least they’re having a good time!

It’s been a while since we’ve had a two-parter; we’ve just been letting the episodes run long, but with special guest J- P- on the pod, they could not be stopped, and here we are! Join Emily, Ky, and the first man EVER on Wine, Weed, Weird! to discuss a Disney musical about using witchcraft to fight the nazis! Featuring insufferable children, a vaselined cat, Dr. Sid Phyllis Creeper, a grown woman who’s never had a broom before, the funniest line in movie history, a charlatan, and that’s just part 1! It’s bound to go down as a classic, so buckle up!

We got Ky calling in from Mexico this week so we can talk about another amazing edited video from Everything is Terrible! Dina Rizo to teach them everything they need to know about hip hop. You may be wondering, what makes it hip hop? What sounds should one make when practicing hip hop? What is appropriate hip hop attire? Emily and Ky break down Dina’s advanced techniques, and deep philosophical musings just for you! And of course, you know it’s only a matter of time before they get ahold of that full length vhs, and learn the dance for you. It’s also another Wine Weed Weird First! Ky had a wild night the night before recording, so she’s hungover instead of drunk. It’s def a state of inebriation.

Buckle up for a super re-mix that’s a Wine, Weed, Weird first! We’ve got special guest friend of the pod Sam, but where’s Ky? And where’s the booze?? Guess they’re both cooling their heels in Mexico for a while! But don’t worry! Emily, Sam in the co-host seat, some good weed, and very satisfying Japanese takeout are here to ask and answer your burning philosophical questions about the ultimate comfort show on Netflix: Old Enough! And with a show like this, you know they have to reflect on their own childhoods…when did they get cellphones? And when did movies stop coming in the mail?? All this, and important info on kidnapping children! (Don’t do it! We do not endorse kidnapping children!) Leave a voicemail for Ky to listen to when she gets back!

It’s 2023, and Emily and Ky are breaking barriers with the first episode of the year: their most special guest yet! Their latest recording ever! AND, the most singing of any episode. Get ready to start a New Years Tradition, and get your tit out. Not Tits. Just one. Is this episode about a hilarious slapstick spy thriller, or is it about Emily’s chrome cast? You! Can’t! Know!

Christmas Day has come and gone, but the Christmas Season Continues! Especially in Emily and Ky’s hearts, thanks to raspy, raspy guy, Bob Dylan! Is Ky a little hung up on Bob Dylan being Bob Dylan? Are they both salty that Santa said he was too busy to guest in their podcast, but he WASN’T too busy to go to Bob Dylan’s Christmas party? Is it one of those episodes where the internet is fucked and Ky occasionally seems to be talking crazy fast for no reason? You’ll have to listen to find out! Merry Christmas from all of us at Wine, Weed, Weird Headquarters! Steal your family’s phones!!!

On its surface, it may seem like a simple song…but in the hands of professional over thinkers like Emily and Ky, it’s anything but! This special Christmas episode includes samples from the Wine, Weed, Weird Parody Band, ever deepening conspiracy theories, and a quick primer on murder ballads. It’s a can’t-miss, so sit down with your Christmas cookies and get egg-naughty with us!

Everyone loves a deeply traumatizing ostensibly for children ‘80s Christmas movie, right?? Too late, you’re involved now! Emily and Ky are doing their best to keep it together and tell you all about the Christmas Toy! Is it just proto Toy Story? Is the Mew storyline about fighting stigma against drug users? Is it actually only 45 minutes long?? Damn, Emily was fucked up when she watched it…

It’s the holiday season, and Emily and Ky are on it with jingle bells, and festive content! Are you ready for a queer-coded, computer-animated, super-petulant pipe organ?? How about one who’s voiced by Grand Daddy Wiz??? What does this have to do with Christmas? Well, mostly that Bell is bad at planning, and Chip is a dumbass who’s obsessed with a tree. Other than that, they don’t have a lot of answers about anything, but they do have a lot of fun! Merry Christmas!!!

It’s another Wine Weed Weird first! But absolutely not a last. Emily and Ky are playing a board game! From Emily’s childhood! And recording it live! There isn’t another way to record! It’s fine! So, what exactly are the stakes in this game? How do you live if you’re only a hat? Does anyone understand the alligator die? How dangerous is real quicksand? Is quicksand real?? Tune in for chaos, confusion, and the answers to all this and more!

Friend of the Pod, Sam is back to share the true meaning of Thanksgiving with Emily and Ky: going on a completely unnecessary killing spree? It’s not warm and cozy, but it is historically accurate.