Though it's not quite time to *properly* eulogize Sirius yet, Alice and Martha delve into Sirius's death scene, the consequences of his "recklessness," and the fraught nature of his relationships to Snape and Kreacher. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss Sirius in the first half of the fifth book, as he walks the line between father figure and friend to Harry and heads toward his tragic demise. Because his plot is less than "stubby" in this book, Sirius will be the topic of at least one more character study! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Though most of his interaction with Harry is via owl post in the fourth book, Sirius begins to take on a very important role, as a mentor, confidant, and constant source of worry for Harry. Alice and Martha break down Sirius's arc in what is arguably the happiest year of his adult life. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Snuffles, Stubby Boardman, Padfoot, the Grim... whatever you call him, there's plenty to discuss when it comes to Sirius Black. Alice and Martha break down his arc in the third book, from his escape from the Azkaban guards to his antics in the Shrieking Shack. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha take some time to remember their grandfather, Paul Krebill, who passed away on February 19th from complications of COVID-19. Following a brief introduction is the Real Weird Grandpa's interview from the 2019 Father's Day special episode. Regular episodes will resume next week with the first Sirius Black character study.

Squeak squeak! It's time to discuss the most notorious rat of the series, Ron's absolutely darling pet, Scabbers. He might have died and you wouldn't know the difference, but he's still worth a full hour of discussion to the Real Weird Sisters! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

This episode is all about CATS (and kneazles)! Alice and Martha finally pay homage to Crookshanks, the Real Weird King! From his sneakoscope abilities to his cosplay skills, Crookshanks is more than just a special pet--he's truly the hero of the series, almost single-handedly responsible for Voldemort's downfall! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Crack open a nice cold Snapel and settle in for our second conversation about everyone's favorite bat-like professor. From his love of the very old and valuable Whomping Willow to his choice to pair Harry and Draco together at the Dueling Club, we can say for certain that every action Snape carries out is due to his love of Lily and his promise to protect Harry. It was all just as Snape planned! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Listeners, start your engines, because you're about to get.... HOOCHED! Alice and Martha analyze everything Madam Hooch does best, from blasting her whistle to practicing some nice, clean negligence when "supervising" the Hogwarts students. Ready to resume play? Because Madam Hooch certainly is. It's time for our annual feedback survey! Please let us know your thoughts about the show at realweirdsisters.com/feedback. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

At long last, Alice and Martha discuss Queen McGonagall in the first book! A no-nonsense nurturer who would never think of tackling a full-grown mountain troll on her own, McGonagall never favors the Gryffindors, and that's just a few of the things we love about her! It's time for our annual feedback survey! Please let us know your thoughts about the show at realweirdsisters.com/feedback. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time to talk about *Professor* Hagrid, who is as natural and gifted at teaching as he is with magical creatures. Yes, everything's great when it comes to Hagrid in the third book. Just don't ask how the flobberworms are doing. It's time for our annual feedback survey! Please let us know your thoughts about the show at realweirdsisters.com/feedback. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Care for a game of Exploding Snap? NO, we don't either. And watch where you sit - Crookshanks might already be there! But for as many cringeworthy moments as Neville has in the third book, there's also plenty of redeeming scenes - Lupin helps him face his worst fears, and Hedwig helps herself to a delicious snack! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Though the inner eye does not see upon command, this episode is sure to be one of the best character studies yet, as Alice and Martha discuss Professor Trelawney in the third and fourth books. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It is time to discuss Remus John Lupin in the third book! This is sure to be quite some episode... even if Alice and Martha forget to mention that particular joke until the very end...Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

As 2020 comes to a close, we are back to celebrate the holiday season Potter-style. First (6:54), Alice and Martha compete in a Harry Potter holiday game show hosted by the Real Weird Husband/Brother-in-Law, Paul Asleson (@paulasleson). Up second is Molly Weasley's Cookie Exchange, where Alice and Martha are joined by returning guest Haley Strong (@hstrong_) to rank popular Christmas cookies and predict which characters would be most likely to bring which cookie to the party (51:53). And finally, it just wouldn't be a Real Weird Holiday Special without an appearance from the official Real Weird Acquaintance of the show, so Alice and Martha are joined by Shut Up Tim (@ShutUpTim) to sort the characters (not the cast) of Love Actually (1:52:18). Special thanks and credit to the listeners who submitted musical numbers. In order of appearance: “Twas the Night Before Christmas” -Carly“Hoot the Lovely Owl Sings” -Gibson“Bella’s Song” -Alicia and Elena, written by Harrison“O Round Blue Light” -Amy“Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” -Kanna“That Christmas Night” -Talitha“Hedwig the White Owl Flew Out on that Evening” and “Last Christmas” -Shut Up Tim“Coventry Carol” -Emily Thank you so much for listening to the show. We wish you a wonderful holiday season!If you enjoyed today’s show, please consider supporting us on Patreon (www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters)!

It's time to talk about everyone's favorite pair of (non-interchangeable) twins! Besides discussing Gred and Forge in the first three books, Alice and Martha also give an update on the search for fellow Bar J fans. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Yet another extremely unique (at least 3 stars) and important character to discuss this week! Alice and Martha analyze Stan Shunpike, the youngest Minister of Magic in history. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

From her canonical unrequited love of Colonel (pronounced phonetically) Fubster, to her devotion to dear old Ripper and her darling neffy poo, Aunt Marge is certain to get a 6/5 in the "heart" category this week. But don't let that spoil you! There's a staggering amount of content to get through in this week's character analysis! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha pay tribute to Fawkes, who really is a wondrous bird! Plus, Alice has some realizations about phoenixes, and Martha explains the history of Guy Fawkes, which she knows like the back of her hand. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Hopefully Olive Hornby isn't listening to this episode, or she might have to renew her restraining order, because Alice and Martha are joined frequently throughout the show by Myrtle herself (thought not quite in the flesh...). This will probably be the last time we ever see or talk about Myrtle, so make sure to cherish every minute! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Mosag's husband, Aragog, is the topic of conversation this week, even if Martha's impression isn't quite what it use to be. (Or maybe it's exactly as it always was? We're not quite sure.) From his obsession with Hagrid to his unknown origins, Aragog is (of course) a highly unique character and a deserving Real Weirdo. And we cannot deny our listeners fresh podcasts, not when they wander so willingly into this feed...Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Put on your lime green bowler hat and your purple boots and settle in for a nice buttered crumpet and an episode about one of the worst Ministers of Magic imaginable! Alice and Martha debate Fudge's unknown Hogwarts house and discuss the myriad ways he is an unfit leader for the Wizarding World. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss the world's creepiest child, "Cotton-Eyed Tom" Riddle! Plus, Martha reveals a new childhood memory and Miss Hepzibah makes a reappearance. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Whether he's advising Harry on which electives to take or polishing his Prefect's badge, Percy is well on his way to a meteoric rise to power by the end of his arc in the first three books! And in addition to discussing everyone's favorite HB, Alice and Martha relive some real weird childhood memories. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

He may not be as skilled at Apparition or Potions as he would like, but he was one of Alice and Martha's main inspirations for staring the Character Study series! A true Hufflepuff at heart, Ernie shows his loyalty to Justin, Cedric, and Harry, and though he may be a bit pompous, we rather like him. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Special guest Sarah Walt Weaver (@sarahwaltweaver) joins the Real Weird Sisters to discuss her web comic, Adventures with Vrah (www.adventureswithvrah.com), her story "Harry Potter Curses Family; Hero Mom Saves Day," and the power of humor in the face of tragedy. In the second half of the show, Sarah and Alice compete in some Harry Potter games, led by the game master, Martha.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha resume their discussion of Hermione, covering her arc in the third book. From her relationship with Ron to her time (turner) management to her standing up to Professor Trelawney, Hermione really starts to come into her own in Prisoner of Azkaban! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guest Chappell (@Chappells_Show) and the Sorting Blanket to sort the characters of Big Brother (season 22) into Hogwarts houses.Be aware that the show contains spoilers from both the Big Brother series and the Harry Potter series.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha drone on and on this week about Professor Binns, in a tone that is guaranteed to cause drowsiness within ten minutes! Listeners, please channel your inner Hermione and resist the urge to fall asleep during the show! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Well hellooooo, Sir Nicholas! Helloooo!! Alice and Martha are back to discuss one of Hogwarts' most notorious ghosts, Nearly Headless Nick. He may not be part of the Headless Hunt, but at least his reenactment of his own beheading was deemed a success! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss Hagrid's development in the second book, from his being framed (twice) for opening the Chamber of Secrets, to his relationship with Aragog and his sly way with words! All we're saying is, if anyone wanted ter find out some stuff, all they’d have ter do would be ter follow the spiders. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Peskipiksi Pesternomi! Alice and Martha giggle about Lockhart and his charming ways on this week's episode. After all, they are just silly girls like Mrs. Weasley and Hermione! Whether it be his forget-me-not (or was it periwinkle?) eyes or his dazzlingly white smile, all that really matters is the publicity. But, in the end, when it comes to Lockhart, fame certainly does turn out to be a fickle friend indeed... Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha resume their discussion of Ron, this time focusing on his *extremely unusual* fear of spiders, his impressive driving skills, and his willingness to stand up for Muggle-borns. Though his interior decorating choices may not be the most tasteful and his decisions might be particularly rash in this book, Ron's arc in the second book shows us just how sweet and loyal he can be! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Though Lucius's role in the beginning of the series is mostly behind the scenes, we get a clear picture of who he is through his parrot, Draco. If you are in need a more productive hobby, and enjoy putting others down to preserve your family name, well then, our slippery friend, you sound like Lucius... This episode covers Lucius Malfoy's arc in the first three books. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Car gone! No note! Alice and Martha discuss the bad cop of the Weasley family, supermom Mrs. Weasley. She may be a bit strict, but we can't think of a better surrogate mother figure for Harry. Pop six quick bacon sandwiches and get ready for our conversation about Molly in the first three books. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guest Shut Up Tim (@shutuptim) and the Sorting Bonnet to sort the characters of Winnie the Pooh into Hogwarts houses.Please be aware that the show contains spoilers from both Winnie the Pooh and the Harry Potter series.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Put on your mismatched socks and tea cozy, because it’s time to talk about everyone’s favorite elf! From new theories about how his friendship with Winky came about, to discussion of his relationship with Harry, there’s plenty of chances for some classic Dobby impressions, miss! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Andrew Shim (@andrewwshim) to discuss issues of Asian representation in the Harry Potter books and movies as well as ideas for how this representation could be improved. Be aware that the episode includes spoilers from the Harry Potter series.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time to talk about Dinky Diddidums, Ickle Diddikins, Aunt Marge's Neffy Poo, or, as most know him, "Big D." He may be too busy to join Alice and Martha, as he is probably at tea with the Polkisses, but we'll all make sure to keep him happy with at least 39 presents to celebrate his character study. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

He may be only *smoke and vapor! smoke and vapor!* but Lord Voldemort still has a large presence in the first four books--hence the two hour podcast! He's sassy, charming, and an ego-maniac, but HE'LL GO WRONG, MARK OUR WORDS! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are joined by Lital Ruderman, PhD, MA, LPC, NCC, (she/her) to discuss themes of mental health in the Harry Potter series and how they are developed. Be aware that the episode includes spoilers from the Harry Potter series.For listeners who may be struggling or need someone to talk to, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are joined by clinical psychology doctoral candidate Oak Reed to discuss ways to combat transphobia and practice self-care during difficult times. For more information on the topics discussed in this episode, Oak recommends the following resources: the 2015 National Transgender Discrimination Survey; Adult Transgender Care, edited by Michael R. Kauth and Jillian C. Shipherd; Stacey’s Not a Girl by Colt Keo-Meier; Red: A Crayon’s Story by Michael Hall; and Second Son: Transitioning Toward My Destiny, Love and Life by Ryan K. Sallans. Oak's research can be found by searching for Oakleigh M. Reed in research databases or Google Scholar. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time to stop horsing around once and for all, and to finally have a serious conversation about the number one Hogwarts hottie, Firenze! He may not hold a candle to Mr. Tumnus, but he's still one of the sexiest stargazers in the Wizarding World. We don't know a whole lot about Firenze's backstory, but one thing is for sure: Hagrid definitely didn't breed him. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Jessie Earl (@jessiegender) of the Jessie Gender YouTube channel joins Alice and Martha to analyze JK Rowling's transphobic views through a geek culture lens and discuss ways fans can distance themselves from these harmful ideologies without fully losing Harry Potter. Jessie, Martha and (sort of) Alice also talk Star Trek, including a mini Sorting hat and a recasting of the Hogwarts professors. For more information on the main topics discussed in this episode, please check out Jessie Gender's videos "Breaking down JK Rowling’s Transphobic Essay" and "JK Rowling Transphobia Explained." Jessie also recommends Vox's article "The Rise of Anti-Trans 'Radical' Feminists, Explained" for more information on TERF ideology. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss their hottest, most original takes on poor, blundering Neville in the first three books. He may be worth twelve of Malfoy, but a game of Exploding Snap with him is the last thing Harry would ever want. Is your Remembrall glowing red? If so... sorry, we have no idea why, either!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are joined by "family" members Kate Hildner and Shut Up Tim (@ShutUpTim) to compete in a game of Family Feud hosted by the Real Weird Husband/Brother-in-Law Paul Asleson (@paulasleson). Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Special guest Laramie Dean (@bylaramiedean) joins the Real Weird Sisters to discuss his upcoming novel, Black Forest, his love of horror, and LGBTQ+ allyship, as well as many other fun topics! Black Forest is available for pre-order at https://www.inkshares.com/books/black-forest. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha return to their discussion of Dumbledore's questionable decision-making, from his hiring Lockhart, to his keeping Hogwarts open during a pandemic-like situation, to his inability to crack the case on the Chamber of Secrets. Not to mention the biggest question mark of all -- what Dumbledore does on a daily basis. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!