It's time to wrap up the conversation about Petunia by talking about her arc in the second set of two books and the final one book. Alice and Martha discuss her relationship with Dumbledore, the ending of her story with Harry, and memories from the Pensieve in this final Petunia episode. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

As 2022 comes to a close, we are back to celebrate the holiday season Potter-style. First (00:05:06), Alice and Martha dive into the Pensieve to discuss Chris Van Allsburg's classic picture book The Polar Express with special guest Shandy. Up second (00:48:03), the sisters roll the dice on a White Elephant gift exchange with a very normal assortment of characters. And finally (01:40:05), special guest Haley Strong (@hstrong_) joins the show to assist in a holiday sorting... or should we say a Holiday sorting! Special thanks and credit to the listeners who submitted musical numbers. In order of appearance: "The Seven Days of Take Five" -Gibson"Lily Did You Know" -Grace"Hogwarts Founders Carol" -Miriam"Last Christmas (Reprise)" -Shut Up TimThank you so much for listening to the show. We wish you a wonderful holiday season!If you enjoyed today’s show, please consider supporting us on Patreon (www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters)!

This week, Alice and Martha cover Petunia's storyline in the second set of two books, reviewing her relationship with her sister-in-law and her continued doting on Dudley. Remember the middle of the series, Petunia! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha move to discussing Order of the Phoenix Real Weirdos, unfortunately skipping over the realest weirdo of all (Bungy) due to lack of source material. This week's episode focuses on the world's greatest aunt (no, not "Aunt Figg") in the first two books. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha talk about the first book of Beverly Cleary's Ramona series, discussing ways in which they may or may not be very similar to these two iconic sisters. In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children's books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha dive headfirst into the Pensieve to analyze the Prince's tale, along with the rest of Snape's arc in the seventh book. It's time to properly eulogize Sev, one of the bravest men we've ever known.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha finish up their discussion of Snape's arc in the sixth book, from his handling of the Sectumsempra incident to feelin' a bit overworked by Dumbledore. Whatever you do, DON'T call him coward! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The first half of the sixth book has Snape victorious, as he intercepts Tonks's patronus, finally lands his dream job as DADA instructor, and tries his hand at some interior decorating. At this point, Alice and Martha neither like nor dislike Severus.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The Official Real Weird Gamemaster, Shut Up Tim (@ShutUpTim) returns to host the third "annual" Real Weird Hunger Games. Alice, Martha, and special guest Logan B. Adair (@loganBadair) draft teams and compete in a DND-style game featuring the Take Five Real Weirdos. Can Martha finally claim a victory for the characters that *definitely* play authentically as themselves? Be aware that the show may contain spoilers from the Harry Potter series.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's another zero, then, for Potter as he continually messes up in Snape's class and even has to start Remedial Potions. Snape continues to improve his one liners and makes some more questionable decisions as his story continues in the fifth book. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Snape's double agent arc continues seamlessly in the fourth book, as he continues to threaten and mock students like Neville and Hermione (most certainly on Dumbledore's orders). Harry learns of Snape's former Death Eater identity, but we are just not going to go there *again* with suspecting Snape of being the bad guy!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha resume their Snape character studies, this time focusing on his arc in the third book. Remember, anything mean he does can be fully explained by the fact that HE WAS A DOUBLE AGENT WHO WAS IN LOVE WITH LILY! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim close out the Prisoner of Azkaban Take Five series with an in depth conversation about the freeze frame and the credits, followed by all your favorite segments, including an extra special Take Five! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss the first picture book of the Into the Pensieve series. Hear about all of the ways Sylvester impacted Martha's childhood, from new vocab words to birthday party themes! In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children's books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Was he truly the most loyal Death Eater? Did dementors change significantly over the course of the series? Didn't we cover this in a previous episode? Alice and Martha answer all the most pressing questions surrounding JUNIOR's full story for the very first time (believe it or not) in this week's character study. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss the Junie B. Jones series by Barbara Park in the third Into the Pensieve episode. For in memories, we enter a world which is entirely our own... In this new series, Alice and Martha will reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children's books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In the penultimate Take Five episode on Alfonso's magnum opus, Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim discuss the almost-final five minutes of Prisoner of Azkaban. Michael Gambon shines (no, really), the Whomping Willow takes another victim, and the Hogwarts ghosts have a final hurrah. Don't worry- there's still plenty to discuss in the final Take Five! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha conclude their discussion of the Pillsbury Doe Girl, including a refresher on where her iconic nickname originated. Most of this episode centers around the Prince's Tale memories of Lily, with a few short scenes from the end of Deathly Hallows to conclude Lily's extremely 3D arc. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Leandra for a Back to School extravaganza! Alice, Martha, and Leandra rank some of Hogwarts' more questionable policies, sort Harry's professors into their teaching type, and compare wizarding school subjects to those in the muggle world.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss the Pillsbury Doe Girl's "arc" in the first seven books, up until the Prince's Tale memories. From her charitable modeling career to her apparently unnecessary death, Lily comes out smelling like a rose in just about everything she does! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

This week's five minutes feature Harry and Sirius almost dying as Harry waits for his father to show up, Hermione demonstrating an impressive mastery of BOMBARDA! and an underrated reprise of "Heh! Whooooo!!" Plus, Alice and Martha suffer another embarrassing Movia Trivia moment. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In the second Into the Pensieve episode (well, technically the first *official* Into the Pensieve episode), Alice and Martha discuss Holes by Louis Sachar. In this new series, Alice and Martha will reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children's books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats.We are requesting listener feedback on this new episode format as well as suggestions for a title for the series! Reach out on Twitter (@realweirdsister), Instagram (@realweirdsisterspod), or Facebook (facebook.com/realweirdsisters) with suggestions.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Harry and Hermione continue their time travel, running through the woods and performing uncanny werewolf impersonations. As usual, Alice, Martha, and frequent guest Shut Up Tim find plenty to discuss for these five minutes. In other words, you'll find no small Take Fives here, professor! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

There's lots to discuss as Alice and Martha dive into Wormtail's arc in the fifth, sixth, and seventh books! Kick back and enjoy some elf-made wine in our final Wormtail character study.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss one of the most sympathetic, charismatic, and charming characters of the series, Wormtail. It's honestly hard to believe he hadn't received the Real Weirdo until now! Not to be confused with our Scabbers episode, this character study discusses Peter Pettigrew's arc in the third and fourth books. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha take a break from their usual topic of discussion to explore another influential book series from their childhood, The Boxcar Children by Gertrude Chandler Warner. In this new series, Alice and Martha will reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children's books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats.We are requesting listener feedback on this new episode format as well as suggestions for a title for the series! Reach out on Twitter (@realweirdsister), Instagram (@realweirdsisterspod), or Facebook (facebook.com/realweirdsisters) with suggestions.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice, Martha, and recurring guest Shut Up Tim discuss a riveting five minutes of Alfonso's magnum opus. There are lots of questions and surprises in these five minutes. Where did Hermione get all those ferrets from? Why does that little fossil rock have to look like that? And has Martha had a change of heart about Michael Gambon????Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time to talk about the Spare, whose arc is unfortunately far too short!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha round out close to fifteen hours on everyone's favorite headmaster. The proper eulogy may already be complete, but there's still plenty to talk about Dumbledore postmortem! This week's discussion includes dissection of the Pillsbury Doe Girl's letter to Snuffles, and pedagogical advice that Dumbledore could have benefitted from adopting. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are joined once again by their friend and recurring guest, Shut Up Tim, to discuss the top five Michael Gambon moments in this mysterious, honest, and true five minutes. Shoutout to Googy Gress, Stan Lee, and James Cromwell!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guests Gia Worthy (@classicallygia), Sarah Carradine (@sarahcarradine), and the Sorting Buff to sort the contestants of Survivor 42 into Hogwarts houses.Be aware that the show contains spoilers from both Survivor 42 and the Harry Potter series.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha finally get the chance to properly eulogize Dumbledore, but don’t worry — our Dumbledore character studies aren’t over yet! My, how the turntables...Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha pursue that flighty teptress, Dumbledore, discussing his arc in the sixth book up until Harry procures the absolutely crucial horcrux memory from Slughorn. This definitely includes a lengthy discussion of the most canonically accurate subway station hottie, too! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha resume their discussion of Dumbledore in the fifth book, this time focusing on his relationship with the Ministry of Magic and his role in the Wizarding War. Our feedback survey is now live! Please visit realweirdsisters.com/feedback to give us your thoughts as we enter our seventh year of the podcast! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss Dumbledore's relationship (or lack thereof) with Harry in the fifth book, and will pick up with Dumbledore's relationship (or lack thereof) with the Ministry and his role in the Wizarding War next week! Our feedback survey is now live! Please visit realweirdsisters.com/feedback to give us your thoughts as we enter our seventh year of the podcast! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

There might not be much dialogue in these five minutes, but what dialogue there is is absolutely brilliant (good doggie... good doggie!!). Alice, Martha, and returning guest Shut Up Tim discuss the rat, the werewolf, and a surprising reference from an incredibly obscure band. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss Dumbledore's arc in the fourth book, from his many speeches to his rage-filled rant when he finds out Harry put his name in the Goblet of Fire! Our feedback survey is now live! Please visit realweirdsisters.com/feedback to give us your thoughts as we enter our seventh year of the podcast! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's back to the character who started it all, Dumbledore! In part 3, Alice and Martha discuss a new dementor litmus test and try their best to separate Book Dumbledore from Michael Gambon. You may not like him... but you can't deny, Dumbledore's got style! Our feedback survey is now live! Please visit realweirdsisters.com/feedback to give us your thoughts as we enter our seventh year of the podcast! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The twentieth Take 5 features a returning guest (Shut Up Tim), the end of the microwave minutes, and a new theme song! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha gather to properly eulogize Fred... but first, there's a whole world of ear-related humor to get through! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Pull out your Extendable Ears or clean out your own with a long, lethal instrument, and get ready for part three of the Fred and George character study! Alice and Martha discuss the twins in the fifth book! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

April Fool's jokes abound in this latest Take Five, which features Sirius tempted to commit murder and an MVB who is about to run along and play with his chemistry set. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha resume their conversation about Gred and Forge, this time picking up in the fourth book. From their HILARIOUS fake wand to their super-responsible Ton Tongue Toffee testing, it's easy to see why the twins' business begins to take off in this book! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Faye Collyer for an introductory Astrology lesson, learning about their own charts as well as aligning the twelve signs with the four Hogwarts houses and discussing Harry Potter characters' astrological signs and how they fit with their personalities in the series! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Real Weird Sisters Alice and Martha are joined by Real Weird Guest Shut Up Tim to tackle another five minutes of Prisoner of Azkaban. These five minutes feature Bucky's "execution," some good old fashioned Whomping by everyone's favorite Willow, and another sighting of the infamous Egg Creature. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss another morally gray character, Barty Crouch... SENIOR... and uncover several important, groundbreaking plot holes that throw the whole series into question! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha welcome Real Weird Recurring Guest Shut Up Tim back for another Take Five episode, this time introducing a VERY important new character! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Join the Real Weird Sisters and PLEASE STAND UP for our Real Weird QUEEN! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!