In today’s episode, we cover healthy relationships and finding the right partner with Dr Yael. Dr Yael is a licensed clinical psychologist, assistant professor at Brown University, and writer about parenting, work, and relationships. A healthy relationship takes work, but how do you know what relationships are worth the work, is moving in together a good test for the relationship, and how do you reignite passion in a relationship? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why did Dr Yael Schonbrun take the Art of Charm Unstoppable program? What is the trap many of us fall into in the modern dating world and why are we making it harder to find healthy relationships? Value based dating and moving in together – 13:00 What questions can you ask to figure out what you want to get out of dating? What mindset do you need to avoid if you’re thinking about moving in with someone you’re dating? What signs should you look out for when thinking about moving in with someone? Looking beyond lust for red flags – 30:40 How should you think about lust when you’re actively dating? Reigniting passion in a relationship – 44:40 What is the foundation for passion in romantic relationships and what can you do to reintroduce it? What is the evolutionary need for novelty in romantic relationships? How do you know when a relationship is worth ending? Your relationships require the same work we put into everything else in life. If we go about life acting as if those relationships will always be there, we are bound to lose them. Why should they invest time in us if we’re not willing to invest in them? The first step in developing healthy relationships is making that commitment to invest and following through. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Dr. Yael Schonbrun’s website Unstoppable Coaching Program Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover what we learned in 2021. 2021 was a wild ride for everyone, so let’s take a moment to reflect on what we’ve learned, overcome, and how far we’ve come. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What was the most powerful takeaway for negotiating we heard from our guests? What simple and effective strategy can you use to make healthy habits much easier to adopt? Asking for help doesn’t need to be hard – 20:00 What simple mental switch can you flip to make asking for help a positive experience for both people? What proven strategies can you use to better manage your anxiety on a daily basis? Why is the pursuit of balance the wrong goal to chase if you want to be successful? How do AJ and Johnny decide how to interview each guest – 37:01 What can you do to prepare a solid interview experience for anyone you have on a podcast? What have AJ, Johnny, and coach Michael done and learned over the last year and what can you take away from their lessons? The podcast has had some amazing guests over the last year. Let’s take a minute to highlight all the game changing tips, tricks, and strategies we’ve learned in 2021. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Victoria Medvec | Master Negotiation By Avoiding These 3 Traps Katy Milkman | Eliminate Unhealthy Habits Today with 3 Scientifically Proven Strategies Dr. Caroline Leaf | The Secret to Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess & 5 Steps to Healing Grief Joe Navarro | Become an Exceptional Communicator by Mastering These 5 Traits Tim Grover | Achieve Superhuman Focus by Annihilating Distractions Erica Dhawan | Communicate Powerfully by Mastering Digital Body Language Carey Nieuwhof | Incredible Productivity and Never Burn Out Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the art of gift giving with John Ruhlin. John Ruhlin is the founder and CEO of Ruhlin Group, the master of building businesses by giving gifts, and the author of Giftology: The Art and Science of Using Gifts to Cut Through the Noise, Increase Referrals, and Strengthen Retention. Giving the right gift can radically strengthen any personal or business relationship, but what questions should you ask when thinking about the right gift for someone, what gifts should you avoid at all cost, and when is the right time to give a gift? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Who do people often overlook when it comes to building and maintaining relationships? What can you do to make gift giving feel less like a transaction and more like a natural part of relationship building? How can you make gift giving a game changer for all of your personal and professional relationships? The secret to giving gifts that change your life – 13:17 How much money should you set aside for giving gifts every year and why do you need to plan for it? What is the ultimate recipe for gift giving and what should you think about when giving gifts? Examples of business changing gifts – 26:23 What crucial questions should you think about when personalizing a gift for someone? How should you start giving gifts if it’s not something you’re used to doing? What types of gifts should you never send? Tips for personal gift giving – 45:36 What gifts can you give to deepen your personal relationships? The right gift can change someone’s life and create a memory that will last forever. But how can you figure out what that gift might be? For one, it must be meaningful to the receiver, and what things in a person’s life are likely to be the most meaningful? In many cases, it’s our values and our families, so think about how you might personalize an item that person uses or sees everyday and incorporate something related to their values or family. An example? How about a knife set in which each knife is engraved with a different favorite quote of theirs. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode The Top 10 Gifts You Should NEVER Give John Ruhlin’s website Giftology website Giftology: The Art and Science of Using Gifts to Cut Through the Noise, Increase Referrals, and Strengthen Retention by Josh Ruhlin Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover moving to a new city with AJ, Johnny, and Michael. Moving to a new city can often feel like a scary or intimidating life event, but it doesn’t have to—so why does moving feel like a bad thing, what can you do to look at moving as an exciting opportunity, and what can you do to make sure you live a fulfilling life no matter where you go? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What should you NOT do if you want to create a new life when moving to a new city? What can you do to meet new people in a city before you move there? Third Place: what is it and why do we need it? – 11:41 What is the “third place” and why is it important for the health and strength of every community and its residents? What is the most important factor in a communal meeting place within your community? How to find (or create) your third place – 21:56 What easy exercise can you do today to find a great place to meet new people who share your interests and are open to meeting new people? Where can you look to experience your city from a different perspective that makes it easy to meet new people? Meeting people made easy – 36:40 Why is it important to have missions in life and what missions can you give yourself with to make it easy to build a social circle anywhere in the world? Moving to a new city can be scary when you don’t know anyone there, but it doesn’t have to be. There are several things you can do to make the process of building a social circle or professional network from scratch easy. Start by making a list of hobbies or interests you enjoy and look for opportunities to engage in those activities in the city you’re moving to. Be sure to grab a copy of our Move To A New City Checklist: https://theartofcharm.com/newcity A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode The Great Good Place: Cafes, Coffee Shops, Bookstores, Bars, Hair Salons, and Other Hangouts at the Heart of a Community by Ray Oldenburg Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover self-compassion with Dr Kristin Neff. Kristin received her doctorate from the University of California at Berkeley, is a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, and is releasing her new book Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive. Self-compassion is the key to stop your inner critic in its tracks, but what is self-compassion, why is it important to be happy, and what can you do to develop a strong sense of self-compassion? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the three elements of self-compassion and how can you use self-compassion to improve your daily life? What are the warning signs you need self-compassion and what ways can you apply self-compassion? Why is it easier to show compassion toward others and not ourselves? Exercises to Strengthen Self-Compassion – 18:22 What simple exercises can you use right now to show yourself more compassion and stop being so hard on yourself? What can you do to work on mindfulness? Setting and Maintaining Boundaries – 27:10 Why are boundaries important in developing your self-compassion? How can you set boundaries and learn how to say no while showing compassion and self-compassion? Perfectionism and Self-Compassion – 39:00 What can you do to manage your perfectionism with self-compassion so you can stop beating yourself up over mistakes and failures? If you struggle with accepting your mistakes and failures, self-compassion is your key to developing a healthy relationship with your imperfect self. We all make mistakes, but for some reason we are much better at showing compassion to the people we care about than ourselves. Cultivating a practice of self-compassion can change that and allow you to be kind to yourself while still pushing yourself to keep improving. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Dr Kristin Neff’s website Fierce Self-Compassion by Dr Kristin Neff Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the pursuit of meaning with Paul Bloom. Paul is Professor of Psychology at the University of Toronto, Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Yale University, is the author of six books including his newest book, The Sweet Spot: The Pleasures of Suffering and the Search for Meaning. The pursuit of meaning is often overshadowed by the pursuit of happiness, but which one is more important to living a fulfilling life, how are suffering, meaning, and happiness related, and what steps can you take to pursue meaning in your life? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How does science define suffering and why is some good while some is bad? Why do we seek out sorrow, suffering, and pain in experiences like spicy food, roller coasters, scary movies, etc? Pursuit of Happiness vs Pursuit of Meaning – 11:40 How does pain lead to an increased sense of meaning in life? How does money influence our suffering and happiness? Why are people in rich countries generally happy while people in poor countries have more meaning in life? What can you do to help your children understand the difference between happiness and meaning in life? A fulfilling existence is not just about positive feelings – 31:56 Why is it important to embrace painful experiences on a regular basis? How can you find meaning in life without thinking about it or intentionally seeking it out? Is there a link between chasing prestige, status, and meaning? What is the difference between pursuing pleasure and pursuing meaning? How can anxiety prevent you from finding meaning in life and what can you do to overcome it? It is unfortunate that we put so much effort into avoiding pain, discomfort, and suffering. It is understandable from a short term perspective because it is natural for anything that feels pain to avoid things that cause pain. But it is the pain, discomfort, and suffering in our lives that leads to us learning and becoming stronger, wiser, more competent humans. This is not to say you should go outside and break your arm, but that pain is inevitable, and if we can learn to embrace it and work through it, those efforts will pay off much more in the long run than simply trying to be comfortable and safe as much as possible. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode The Sweet Spot: The Pleasures of Suffering and the Search for Meaning Paul Bloom’s website Paul Bloom on Twitter Master Your Mindset with David Goggings | AoC Podcast Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover how to change with Katy Milkman. Katy is a professor at The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, host of Charles Schwab’s popular behavioral economics podcast Choiceology, and the former president of the international Society for Judgment and Decision Making. Making long lasting changes in our behavior can be difficult, so what mindsets help us to make changes, what can you do to overcome low confidence when making big changes, and how do you overcome procrastination so you don’t keep putting off the life you want? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What mindsets are best suited to achieving long lasting results when attempting to change something about yourself? Overcoming low confidence when making big changes – 14:00 What can you do if you don’t feel confident in your ability to improve yourself or make a big change in your life? What can you do to create accountability in you and your friends’ lives? What simple and powerful tip can you implement to make hard habits easier to form? Strategies for overcoming procrastination – 25:00 What strategies can you implement to overcome procrastination? How can you set up your life so it makes it easier for you to make better decisions for yourself? It’s not easy to make long-lasting improvements in our lives. Fortunately, there is plenty of science to show us different ways to make those improvements easier, whether it’s relying on friends for accountability, associating the behavior change with a positive activity you enjoy, or even different ways of punishing yourself for not following through with your commitments. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Katy Milkman’s website How to Change: The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be by Katy Milkman Stickk website Beeminder website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover social media’s impact on mental health with Dr Brian Primack. Brian is the dean of the College of Education and Health Professions at the University of Arkansas, the professor of public health and medicine, and is the author of You Are What You Click: How Being Selective, Positive, and Creative Can Transform Your Social Media Experience. Science is showing us that social media use in any dose can have detrimental effects on our mental health, so what can we do to ensure we have a positive experience on social media and protect ourselves and those we care about its effects? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What amount of social media use won’t increase the risk for mental health issues? Social Media vs Traditional Media – 11:37 What does “You are what you click” mean? How are social media algorithms working against your mental health and what can you do about it? What are the two things we can control while using social media that limit the harm it does to us? Do different platforms have different impacts? – 21:47 Does the number of social media platforms you use impact your risk for mental health issues? What can you do to have a positive experience on social media so you’re not negatively impacting your mental health every time you log in? How much impact does social media use have on your quality of sleep and what can you do about it? The damage of constantly comparing yourself to others – 31:00 Why is it bad for you to constantly be looking at the highlight reels of other people's lives and what strategies can you use to overcome the harm? What effect do parasocial relationships have on your mental health? Social media, misinformation, and disinformation – 42:17 How do the algorithms used by social media lead to drastically different perceptions of who you know and the world around you? What can we do to guard our own mental health as well as the people we care about who aren’t aware of the dangers of social media use? The simplest way to prevent the harm done to us by social media use is to stop using social media altogether. But that’s easier said than done for many people, so what can you do if eliminating social media from your life isn’t feasible? A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode You Are What You Click by Brian Primack Brian Primack’s website You Are What You Click Personality Quiz Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover changing ourselves and others with Peter Bregman. Peter blends his deep expertise in business, leadership, and people to deliver quantifiable results in business, professional, and personal development, and is the bestselling author and contributor of over 18 books, including his newest book, You CAN Change Other People: The Four Steps to Help Your Colleagues, Employees—Even Family—Up Their Game. Changing other people is not easy, but there are steps we can take to make positive changes in other peoples’ lives and do so in a high value cooperative way, so why do people resist change so much, what are the four things anyone needs before they will change, and how do approach people about making a change without coming across as the critic or the bad guy? What to Listen For Why do we struggle so much trying to change people – 1:53 Why do we readily accept changes we make for ourselves but strongly resist changes that other people try to make for us? What is the most important skill you can develop as a leader in your organization? What are the misconceptions we have about changing ourselves and people around us? The 4 things people need before they’ll change – 8:30 What gets in the way of people making changes in their lives and how can we help them make the changes they want? What emotion do we experience that makes it so much harder for us to change? Strategies to manage emotions in high pressure situations – 30:31 How do you approach helping people improve themselves so you are viewed as a friend or ally rather than the enemy? Indicators of a thorough plan for implementing change – 46:13 What can you do to implement change in your organization if you are not yet in an official leadership position? Changing other people is not easy, and that’s a good thing. If it were easy to change other people, that would make it easy for other people to change you. As individuals, we cherish our autonomy. We value our ability to be ourselves and resist the changes other people want us to make. With that said, none of us is perfect and we all have areas in our lives that could be improved and make our lives better. But in order for us to be open to allowing other people to help change us, there are four things we need. Once we have all four, we can come up with a plan and be held accountable by someone other than ourselves. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode You Can Change Other People by Peter Bregman Bregman Partners website Peter Bregman on LinkedIn Peter Bregman on Twitter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover toxic relationships with AJ, Johnny, and Michael. Toxic relationships can suck the joy and satisfaction out of our lives, so what can you do to recognize the toxic relationships in your life, what can you do to remove them, and what traits should you look for when bringing new people into your life? What to Listen For What makes a toxic person toxic – 0:00 What one question can you ask yourself to determine if someone in your life is toxic? What situations draw out toxic people in our lives and how can we recognize them when they show themselves? Identifying toxic people in your life – 11:49 What simple methods can you use to identify toxic relationships in your life? How can your own self-awareness help you recognize why you are surrounding yourself with certain people? What can you do to support friends and family who have different values than you? The 7 signs of toxic people – 22:44 What are the 3 ways toxic people will try to control you and stop you from pursuing your goals? What are 4 ways your generosity can be taken advantage of by toxic individuals? The 3 high value traits of non-toxic people – 51:03 What traits should you look for in potential friends and professional connections? Removing toxic people from your life – 54:54 What are 5 ways to remove toxic people from your life? Loneliness and toxic relationships have been on the rise over the last couple of decades. But what does it mean for a relationship to be toxic? The easiest way is to ask yourself, “Is this person taking away happiness or purpose from my life?” Now, no one is perfect so there might be moments when you feel that way about a person, but if you feel that way consistently about someone, it’s time to see if their behavior is on our list of 7 traits of toxic people and then determine how you want to handle it. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode The 7 Signs of Toxic People (Cheat Sheet) Michael Herold’s TEDx Talk Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover anxiety with Dr Wendy Suzuki. Dr Suzuki is a professor of neural science and psychology at the New York University’s Center for Neural Science, and the author of “Healthy Brain, Happy Life: A Personal Program to to Activate Your Brain and Do Everything Better” and her newest book, “Good Anxiety: Harnessing the Power of the Most Misunderstood Emotion.” Anxiety is typically something we try to avoid, but why do we avoid it, what does science tell us about anxiety, and how can we use anxiety to our advantage? What to Listen For Introduction – 2:35 What is good anxiety and how do you recognize when anxiety is good or bad for you? How do you recognize when the anxiety you’re experiencing is bad enough that you should seek help? What behaviors might you be exhibiting that make your anxiety worse? Relationships and their impact on our anxiety – 11:32 How do your relationships impact your anxiety and what can you do to mitigate that impact? What simple exercise can you do anywhere to get a handle on your everyday anxiety? How can you use small rituals and habits to stop your anxiety from ruining your daily activities and responsibilities? Conquering anxiety – 27:12 What can you do if your anxiety is stopping you from falling asleep at night? What simple mental exercises can you use to diffuse your anxiety so it doesn’t have such a strong influence on your life? How can you prepare for social events so your anxiety doesn’t ruin the event for you? Managing anxiety in loved ones – 39:30 What can you do as parents if you are concerned about anxiety in your children? What do many of us do to make our anxiety worse when we believe it’s actually making our anxiety better? We tend to place anxiety into a category of emotions we try to avoid. While you can experience anxiety that is so bad it warrants professional help, the anxiety most of us deal with on a daily basis can be embraced for what it can teach us about ourselves and the people around us. If you want to better manage your anxiety, start by looking at it from a place of curiosity and creativity. Next time you’re experiencing anxiety, take a moment to ask yourself where the anxiety is coming from. The more you can look at your anxiety objectively, the faster it will subside and be manageable. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Dr Wendy Suzuki’s website Good Anxiety: Harnessing the Power of the Most Misunderstood Emotion Healthy Brain, Happy Life: A Personal Program to to Activate Your Brain and Do Everything Better Dr Wendy Suzuki on Twitter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover influence with Professor Vanessa Bohns. Vanessa is a social psychologist, an award-winning researcher and teacher, and a professor of organizational behavior at Cornell University. We all have the ability to influence those around us to some degree, so what can you do to understand your influence, grow your influence, and use your influence to help you achieve your goals? What to Listen For Intro and Vanessa’s origin story – 0:00 What do many of us get wrong about our influence over others, the perception others have of us, and how much other people actually like us? Why do we always feel like everyone is watching when we feel embarrassed? What is the spotlight effect? How to start recognizing your influence – 13:34 What can you do to overcome the limiting beliefs you might have about how much influence you actually have? What can you do as an introvert to feel confident and comfortable in situations where you know it’s going to be uncomfortable? Being more genuine during the chaos of cancel culture – 24:30 What can we do to be more comfortable being genuine when people are scared to say the wrong thing? What can we do to counter those who want to use their power and influence against us if we are trying to be more open and trusting of others? What can you do to overcome your fear of rejection? Learning to say no – 36:16 How do you learn to say no to someone who is in a position of power or authority over you? Our common misconceptions about influence – 44:25 Why and how do we underestimate the compounding effect of our individual influence outside of the people we interact with directly? How do we view our influence compared to how our influence actually works on people around us? We often underestimate the impact we have on the people around us because of our misconceptions about how influence works. We get caught up in thinking influence is our ability to directly influence a person’s actions with our words, but in reality we influence the people around us in small amounts over extended periods of time. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode You Have More Influence Than You Think by Vanessa Bohns Vannesa Bohns’s website Vanessa Bohns on Twitter The invisibility cloak illusion: People (incorrectly) believe they observe others more than others observe them Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover anger management with Dr. Isabelle Leboeuf and Chris Fraser. Dr. Leboeuf integrates hypnotherapy, cognitive behavioural therapy, and compassion-focused therapy in her private practice in the North of France. Chris has been helping children, individuals, and families to be the best versions of themselves for over 25 years, and co-authored the book Freedom: How Teens Can Use Mindful Compassion to Thrive in a Chaotic World and Grow a Purpose-driven Life. Anger is an emotion we all experience throughout life, but how we respond to it makes all the difference in the world, so what even is anger, how should we look at it, and what are some healthy strategies for dealing with intense emotions like anger? What to Listen For Relationship between self-compassion and anger – 2:06 Is there a difference between the anger we feel toward others versus the anger we feel toward ourselves? Healthy strategies to process and work through anger – 11:00 What exercises should you use to work through anger and what should you avoid doing when you’re angry? What is the difference between compassion and self-compassion? What three words can you tell yourself to alleviate strong feelings of anger or frustration you’re experiencing? Is self-compassion just being easy on yourself? – 20:25 What are the three components of self-compassion? Defining and discovering core values – 29:00 How can you use negative and positive emotions to help you figure out what your core values are? Learning from compassion-focused therapy – 35:18 What can you learn from compassion-focused therapy to equip you with the tools to better handle intense emotional states so you don’t do something in the moment that you’ll regret? A full human life is arguably one in which you experience the entire spectrum of human emotions, positive and negative. Negative in this case can be interpreted as the opposite of what we think of as positive emotions, but it doesn’t mean a negative emotion is bad or should be avoided. As a society, we generally look down on or seek to avoid negative emotions such as anger and frustration, which can then lead us to not teach kids how to properly manage their anger. And a lack of anger management within an entire population will spell disaster for an entire generation that is not equipped to process and deal with their emotions in a healthy manner. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Freedom: How Teens Can Use Mindful Compassion to Thrive in a Chaotic World and Grow a Purpose-driven Life by Chris Fraser Dr. Isabelle’s website Compassionate Mind Collaborative website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover focus and attention with Dr. Amishi Jha. Dr. Amishi Jha received her Ph.D. from the University of California–Davis, is a professor of psychology at the University of Miami, and is the Cofounder and Director of Contemplative Neuroscience for the Mindfulness Research and Practice Initiative. It seems like our attention spans are getting shorter every year, but are they really, what can we do to improve our ability to focus, and how do we deal with the countless entities always clawing for our attention everywhere we look? What to Listen For Introduction and Dr. Amishi’s origin story – 9:00 How does meditation better equip us to deal with everything that is fighting for our attention in daily life? What is attention and why should we care? – 19:24 What are the three components of attention and how do mindfulness practices influence our ability to pay attention? What mindfulness exercise can you start doing now to begin seeing the benefits of meditation? Are our attention spans actually getting shorter? How do we use our brain to combat our own lack of attention or focus? The Finder Flashlight Practice for developing focus – 31:20 What can you do to help your children learn to pay attention and focus? What advantages do people with ADD/ADHD have that people without it don’t have? Improving focus while living under a lot of stress – 48:50 What 12-minute exercise can you do on a daily basis to boost your ability to focus, even in high stress, high demand situations and environments? Our ability to focus on something for an extended period of time is one of the significant differences between humans and other animals. However, like other animals we can easily be distracted and lose that focus. So what can we do in today’s world where everything in our daily lives is fighting for our attention? We can start by meditating (or implementing a similarly effective mindfulness practice) that can help us cultivate a sense of awareness that isn’t so reactive and easily distracted. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Dr. Amishi’s website Peak Mind: Find Your Focus, Own Your Attention, Invest 12 Minutes a Day How to Tame Your Wandering Mind (TED Talk by Dr. Amishi) Dr. Amishi on Twitter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover networking with AJ, Johnny, and Michael. Many of us don’t realize there is more to networking than simply showing up to events and introducing, so what kind of preparation should go into networking events, how do you know what value you have to offer those you meet, and how can you use digital platforms to be the super connector no one forgets? What to Listen For Intro to networking and Coach Michael’s recruitment – 0:00 What common misconceptions do people have about networking and interacting with people in your network? What 3 questions can you ask yourself to prevent you from wasting a life-changing networking opportunity? Networking hurdles and overcoming them – 9:50 What does science say about why so many of us feel uncomfortable about networking and what can we do about it? When and where should you avoid networking? Why is networking about more than just career development? Social capital and networking – 21:15 What are the 3 components of social capital and why do you need to know your social capital if you want to network effectively? What are the 2 strategies to networking and why do you need a mix of both in order to be successful at networking? Effective networking in the digital era – 34:50 What tips can you start using today to build an amazing network and connect with people you look up to? Why is it important to know your WHY when it comes to networking? What is the best way to introduce two people in your network? What are the best practices for following up with people you meet at a networking event (and what should you avoid doing)? Many of us view networking events as isolated opportunities to meet new people in which you only have the event itself to make new connections. The most effective networkers, however, know that is inefficient because that’s when everyone else is trying to do the same. Great networkers utilize the time before and after the events to start and strengthen new relationships. This can be as easy as messaging the attendees and speakers on LinkedIn before an event letting them know you are looking forward to meeting them and/or hearing their presentations. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Professional Networking Makes People Feel Dirty (HBS Article) Susan McPherson | Effortlessly Build a World-Class Network by Using These 5 Tips (AOC Podcast Episode) Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover peak performance and burnout with Carey Nieuwhof. Carey is the author of the best selling “Didn't See It Coming: Overcoming the Seven Greatest Challenges That No One Expects and Everyone Experiences” and the host of one of our favorite podcasts, The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast. Introduction With all of the pressure to increase output and creativity these days, burn out is a real threat, so what are the warning signs you’re entering a dangerous burn out cycle, how can you avoid it, and how can you improve your skill set without risking burn out? What to Listen For Introduction and Carey’s history with burnout – 2:00 How do you manage the risks of burnout when building a business or focusing on your career? What does it mean to be at your best? – 14:10 What is one of the biggest myths about building a fulfilling career and life? What forms does burnout take and how can you recognize when you need help? The stress spiral and how to avoid it – 25:09 What are the warning signs you are stuck in the destructive stress spiral? What are the three types of energy zones we all have in a day and how do you identify them so you know when to do your best work and when to avoid doing work? Always be working on your gifts and skills – 43:45 How do world-class performers work to improve their talents and abilities? What do many of us allow our lives to be filled with that we should be saying no to? What exercise can you use to easily structure your week ahead of time so you don’t end up feeling overwhelmed or burned out? Why should you set goals for yourself if you want to learn how to start saying no effortlessly? If you are feeling burnt out at work, it might have less to do with how much you’re working and more to do with when you’re trying to work. It has been shown that humans have a specific window of peak energy during the day, and if you try to push yourself too far outside of that window, the effects can be detrimental to your productivity as well as your physical and mental health. By structuring your day around your individual peak window, you can revitalize your passion and productivity while easily saying no to work and appointments that don’t serve you. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode At Your Best: How to Get Time, Energy, and Priorities Working in Your Favor by Carey Nieuwhof Didn't See It Coming: Overcoming the Seven Greatest Challenges That No One Expects and Everyone Experiences by Carey Nieuwhof The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover finding your life mission and turning it into a business with Brett Hagler. Brett is the CEO and Co-Founder of New Story, a Y Combinator graduate, and a cancer survivor recognized on Forbes’ 30 Under 30 list, named one of the Top 100 Most Intriguing Entrepreneurs by Goldman Sachs, and his company was named among Fast Company’s “Most Innovative Companies in the World” four different times. It’s no easy task to decide on a life mission, so what can you do figure out what yours is, why is it important to find work you’re passionate about or at least interested in, and how should you handle risk-taking and failure when pursuing a business idea that goes against the grain of mainstream thinking? What to Listen For What is New Story and why should you know about it? – 2:04 How did Brett Hagler realize solving homelessness is his life mission? What can you do to figure out what your life mission is? Why you should strive to do work you’re passionate about – 17:05 What hidden price do we pay for doing work we don’t find interesting or exciting? How can 3D printing be used to solve homelessness around the world? What’s it like going through Y-Combinator as a non-profit organization? How affordable will 3D-printed houses be and how soon will you be able to buy one? Building a base of loyal customers when starting a business – 33:50 What can you do to build a genuine connection with your customers when first starting a business that will set you apart from your competitors? How do you overcome self doubt when trying something new or experiencing success for the first time? What counterintuitive advice should you think about when starting and scaling a business if you don’t want to lose your best talent to your competition? Key strategies for handling failures in business – 47:50 What are the two ways to approach risk-taking when running a business and why should you avoid one? What are some of New Story’s greatest success stories? It’s true that the journey to finding your life mission is not easy. But if you want to be successful, it's worth taking the time and effort to find what you are passionate about—or at very least interested in doing. When starting a business for yourself, make sure you properly connect with your customers by providing them high-quality products they can't get anywhere else. And when failure strikes (and it will), use a few key strategies to handle tough times until better days come around again. Remember, "failure is just another word for opportunity." A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Brett Hagler’s website Brett Hagler on LinkedIn Brett Hagler on Twitter Brett Hagler on Instagram New Story website New Story on YouTube New Story on Instagram Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover stress and anxiety with Dr. Jonathan Horowitz. Jonathan Horowitz received his Ph.D. in clinical psychology, and is the CEO and founder of the San Francisco Stress and Anxiety Center where he helps people manage and overcome stress. Science is showing us that we are dealing with increased levels of stress and anxiety thanks to the pandemic, so what can you do to prevent your stress and anxiety from overwhelming you, how can you prevent burnout, and when do you know it’s time to seek professional help? What to Listen For Dr. Jonathan Horowitz’s origin story – 2:06 How easily can other people tell when you’re feeling nervous or anxious in a conversation? How does perfectionism get in the way of you achieving your goals and what can you do to move past it? Can you control whether or not people like you? Warning signs you’re not adequately managing stress – 22:40 What can you do to better manage your stress levels so it doesn’t damage your health and relationships? How does stress impact your ability to be creative and an effective problem solver? What can you do to help manage the stress of working from home and not having a clear distinction between home and work? Preventing burnout by practicing self-care – 37:56 What small but meaningful exercises can you do in your daily life to better take care of yourself so you don’t get overwhelmed by stress? What should you avoid doing if you don’t want to get overwhelmed by stress? How has our social anxiety been impacted by COVID and the lockdown and what can we do about it? How do you know when you should see a therapist? While short periods of stress (like exercise or solving a difficult problem) can provide countless benefits to our physical and mental wellbeing, long periods of chronic stress can have detrimental effects on our minds and bodies. But what can you do about it when it seems like being stressed out is normal? It comes down to small daily habits that any of us can implement in our lives because we all have a few minutes to spare to take better care of ourselves. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Jonathan Horowitz on LinkedIn San Francisco Stress and Anxiety Center Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover negotiation with Anne-Maartje Oud. Anne is a behavioral advisor, trainer, and the CEO & founder of The Behaviour Company based in Amsterdam. Your behavior plays an essential role in getting your message across, so what can you do to make sure your message doesn’t get lost, why is emotional validation crucial if you want to be a great leader, and how should you prepare for and handle conflict in the workplace? What to Listen For The biggest myths about reading body language – 1:30 What can reading body language tell you about someone and what can it NOT tell you? What questions can you ask yourself to find out what external and internal factors might be influencing your body language? What can you do if you are over analyzing your communication to the detriment of your relationships and career? The brain-body connection and how you feel – 18:05 What are easy ways you can convey trustworthiness in the workplace? What changes can you make to boost the effectiveness of your speaking and presentation style through Zoom? What are pacifying behaviors and why do we need to be on the lookout for them when talking to someone or a group of people? The importance of validation in the workplace – 36:46 What is emotional validation and why do you need to have a handle on it if you want to be an effective leader? What kind of feedback should you avoid giving if you want to lead your team effectively? DOs and DON'Ts of dealing with conflict in the workplace – 46:30 What are the 4 ways people use to deal with conflict and which ways should you avoid if you don’t want to lose your relationships? What can you do to prepare yourself emotionally for a difficult conversation or confrontation so you don’t lose your cool when it matters? What advice surrounding body language should you avoid at all cost? A person’s body language communicates a great deal about the person, but it’s not magic. In order to effectively understand body language, it’s important to dispel some of the myths surrounding body language so you know its limits. Body language can give you a glimpse into what a person might be feeling at that moment, but it cannot tell you what they’re thinking. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Anne-Maartje Oud on Twitter Anne-Maartje Oud on LinkedIn Art of Charm podcast with Joe Navarro The Importance of Validation by Joe Navarro, Anne-Maartje Oud Dangerous Personalities by Joe Navarro Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover negotiation with Dr. Victoria Medvec. Dr. Medvec a master negotiator, Kellogg professor, CEO of Medvec & Associates, and is the author of Negotiate Without Fear: Strategies and Tools to Maximize Your Outcomes. Negotiating is a part of life, personally and professionally, so how should we be looking at it, how can we remove the fear and anxiety from negotiating, and what strategies can you implement from a professional negotiator to take your negotiating skills to the next level? What to Listen For Dr. Victoria Medvec’s origin story – 1:35 What do great negotiators enjoy about the act of negotiating? What are the biggest fears people have about negotiating that prevent them from getting what they deserve and what can you do to overcome those fears? What is the most important element of effective negotiation and how can you use it to overcome your fears of negotiating? Creating win-win negotiation outcomes – 12:59 How can you think about future negotiations in a way that makes both parties excited about the outcome? What questions can you ask in a negotiation to get a better understanding of what the other party is looking to get out of the negotiation? What does it mean to prepare for a negotiation and how can you show the other party during the negotiation that you’ve put in the work ahead of time? Common traps many expert negotiators fall into – 23:07 What are the 3 most common traps experienced negotiators fall into and what can you do to avoid falling into those traps? How do you bring creativity into negotiating to ensure both parties walk away from the negotiation with a win? Why are emotion and storytelling important in the art of negotiation? Managing emotions during negotiations – 37:00 What 4 steps can you take to manage the emotions during negotiations to prevent them from ruining a deal and making you and/or your company look bad? How do you effectively negotiate your salary to get what you deserve while also giving the company a positive outcome? How do different generations view negotiation and why is it important? What are We typically associate the word “negotiation” with negotiating a raise or negotiating the price of a car, but in reality just about anything can be negotiated. Unfortunately, many of us never try to negotiate because negotiating seems intimidating, or we just assume the price or cost of something is set in stone. If you want to get what you deserve out of life, no one is going to give it to you, you must be willing to know your worth and ask for it. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Negotiate Without Fear by Victoria Medvec Medvec & Associates: Critical Decision and Negotiation Partners website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover charisma with AJ, Johnny, and Michael. Charisma can make the difference between a fulfilling life and a depressing lonely existence, but what actually is charisma, why is it so powerful, and how can you develop it to bring out the best in you and the people around you? What to Listen For What is charisma? – 1:10 How does science define and perceive charisma? What is it about charismatic leaders that makes them stand out and what can you learn from them? Can charisma be learned? The importance of being present – 11:02 What are the three internal dials you can play with in order to figure out the level of charisma best suited for your personality? What does it mean to be present and why is it important if you want to be charismatic? Turning up your enthusiasm – 26:30 What do many people get wrong about enthusiasm and what does it mean to live with more enthusiasm? What simple changes can you make right now to be more enthusiastic in your interactions with other people? What easy steps can you take to increase your enthusiasm and put you in a better mood? Confidence is the key to unlocking your potential – 40:15 When is confidence most useful and why do those times also allow you to strengthen your confidence? Charisma might feel like something a person just has, but like many traits, it can be broken down into easily understood components. Once you understand what those components are, you can then take steps to develop them and allow your personality to shine by being a more charismatic version of yourself. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Charisma: An Ill-Defined and Ill-Measured Gift Skills vs. Attributes: What Should You Focus On Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover memory improvement and competition with Dr. Johannes Mallow. Johannes is a 2-times World Memory Champion, completed a PhD thesis on the topic of Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), and worked as a researcher and engineer at the University of Magdeburg. Our ability to recall complex information is one of our defining characteristics as humans, but what do we get wrong about memory, what daily exercises can you perform to improve your memory, and what can you learn about memory from a memory world champion? What to Listen For Dr. Johannes Mallow’s journey into memory games – 1:46 What do people enjoy about memory competitions? What exercises can you do to train your memory and improve it? How does Dr. Johannes Mallow memorize a deck of cards in 20 seconds? The science of memory vs the sport of memory – 14:35 What is the brain great at memorizing and how can you use that fact to avoid forgetting important information? How does training for memory sports impact your memory in your day to day life? Simple strategies for memorizing people’s names – 21:39 What can you do if you find yourself in a high pressure situation and you need to remember something but your mind goes blank? What daily memory exercises can anyone perform to improve it? Most common misconceptions about training memory – 39:06 Why should we be concerned about developing our memory when we have powerful devices at our fingertips to remember things for us? The secret 2000 year old memory technique – 51:13 What is the memory palace technique and how can you use it to remember almost anything? What is the keyword method and how can you use it to learn new languages? Your memory is like a muscle. The more you train your ability to recall information, the better you will become at it. Humans have been working to improve their memory for thousands of years and have come up with some great techniques along the way, and if you have five minutes to spare each day, you can improve your memory so you stop forgetting names of people you just met, important upcoming events, and your anniversary! A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Dr. Johannes Mallow’s website The Caretaker - Everywhere At The End Of Time Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover becoming exceptional with Joe Navarro. Joe is a retired FBI special agent and recognized as one of the world’s foremost authorities on reading nonverbal communication. He has co-authored many international best sellers including What Every Body is Saying, The Dictionary of Body Language, Advanced Interviewing Techniques, and his latest one, Be Exceptional: Master the Five Traits That Set Extraordinary People Apart. Being an exceptional human doesn’t require anything out of the ordinary, but there are a handful of necessary traits to focus on if you want to be exceptional, so what are they and how do you develop them? What to Listen For What does it mean to be exceptional – 1:53 Why aren’t we taught how to be exceptional or charming when we’re growing up, and how can we learn to be so today? The five traits of exceptional people – 15:21 What does self-mastery look like in today’s world and why is it important if you want to be exceptional at anything? Why is the skill of observation important and what can you do to improve it? What is more important to us than validation and why do we mistake it for seeking perfection? The biggest misconception about giving validation – 38:30 Can you give validation to someone while also disagreeing with them? How are validation and trust related? Strategies to start divisive conversations on the right foot – 45:02 How do you have a productive conversation with someone who is clearly married to an ideology and doesn’t want to listen? What simple exercise can you use to better understand yourself and your worldview? Anyone can be exceptional, but not everyone is willing to understand what it takes and work at it. For example, being observant is a trait of exceptional people according to Joe Navarro, and being observant seems like a rather basic trait, doesn’t it? The problem is most people don’t think about or question what they observe. When most people think they’re being observant, they’re really just noticing something and instantly passing judgement on it. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Joe Navarro’s website Be Exceptional by Joe Navarro What Every BODY is Saying by Joe Navarro Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover human connection and networking with Susan McPherson. Susan has 25+ years of experience in marketing, public relations, and sustainability communications, and is the author of The Lost Art of Connecting: The Gather, Ask, Do Method for Building Meaningful Relationships. As we emerge from lockdown, connecting and reconnecting can feel difficult, so what can you do to set yourself apart, forge lasting connections with those you meet, and reconnect with friends you haven’t spoken to in years? What to Listen For How lonely and disconnected are we according to science – 3:05 Why does negativity spread more on the internet than positivity? What is the Gather, Ask, Do method and how can you use it to form stronger connections with the people around you? The critical objective of today’s youth in a digital age – 14:38 What is the power of reciprocity and how can it help you grow an amazing network? What questions can you ask if you genuinely want to help the people around you? What questions should you avoid at all cost if you sincerely want to help people? Tips for introverts to connect better – 28:24 What is pre-connecting and how can you use it to make networking easier and less stressful while also being more effective as an introvert? What should you focus on when meeting people at networking events and what should you NOT focus on? What tips can you use to reconnect with people after the pandemic/lockdown? The big myths around connecting with others – 44:40 What simple tips can you use to amplify your effectiveness when meeting people and creating unforgettable first impressions? What are the best five follow up tips when networking to make sure your hard work doesn’t go to waste? Connecting with others is one of the key ways to get ahead. With the tips and strategies in this episode, you’ll create deep connections and your connections will multiply exponentially. Even as an introvert, you can forge lasting relationships and reconnect with old friends you haven’t spoken to in years. Take these lessons from our experts on how to become a force of nature who gets things done effortlessly while creating lifelong bonds along the way! A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode McPherson Strategies website Susan McPherson on Twitter Susan McPherson on LinkedIn The Lost Art of Connecting by Susan McPherson 5 Ways to Listen Better TED Talk by Julian Treasure Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we talk about MeetUp with David Siegel. David is the CEO of MeetUp and the host of the new podcast Keep Connected. People are feeling lonely now more than ever, so what can you do if you’re feeling lonely, where can you go to meet new friends who share your interests, and what is the cheat code to making new friends anywhere you go? What to Listen For How did the Art of Charm get started using MeetUp? – 2:50 When creating an account on MeetUp, should you try to join MeetUp groups or create/host your own? Why are people suffering from loneliness now more than ever and what can you do about it? The evolution of MeetUp through the pandemic – 10:51 How did the pandemic affect people’s willingness to meet up using sites like MeetUp? Is it a good time to start attending events and MeetUp groups in person yet? Are MeetUp groups welcoming to introverts? – 24:15 What kinds of MeetUp groups should an introvert attend and avoid? Is MeetUp a good tool for professional networking? What sports should you look into if you’re interested in trying something new and popular? Can you find MeetUp groups that center around happiness and mental well-being? The cheat code to meeting a lot of people – 43:52 What are 3 traits of the best organizers on MeetUp? How do the best hosts on MeetUp provide great experiences for the attendees? What are the 3 steps in giving value that solidify a connection with guests and members who attend your events? What are the top 5 best practices in networking can you implement in your next MeetUp event? In a post-COVID world, people are struggling to figure out ways to be social again and get a handle on the loneliness they experienced during the lockdown. What better way to do both than find a group of likeminded humans on a site like MeetUp? One of the major advantages MeetUp groups/events have for people who aren’t sure how to make friends is that MeetUp self-selects for people who are open to meeting new people. That means people who attend MeetUp groups are going to be friendly, welcoming, and approachable. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode MeetUp Keep Connected Podcast hosted by MeetUp CEO David Siegel David Siegel on LinkedIn David Siegel on Twitter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the mastery of sales with Jeb Blount. Jeb is the best-selling author of over 13 books and among the world’s most respected thought leaders on sales, leadership, and customer experience. He helps leaders to develop leadership and coaching skills and shows them how to apply a more effective organizational design and cultivate a high performance sales culture. Sales is often considered a field for extroverts, so why do world-class salespeople consider introverts to have the greatest potential, what can you do as an introvert to become a great salesperson, and what is the biggest challenge introverts face in sales? What to Listen For How Jeb Blount get started in sales – 1:06 Can introverts be world-class performers in sales? What are the three myths about sales? – 5:35 What are the five basic questions people ask themselves about you when talking to you? What do so many people get wrong about being great at sales? What is the greatest gift you can give another human being and why is that gift critical in the world of sales? The one problem introverts have in sales – 9:46 What are the two types of listening and when should you use each one? What can you do to stop making assumptions? – 23:45 What is the WAIT acronym and how can you use it to keep yourself in check when interacting with potential customers? Why are moments of silence in conversation so important in sales? Theses traits mean certain failure for people new to sales – 35:00 What is one of the biggest hurdles entrepreneurs face when starting a business for the first time? What can you do to overcome yesterday’s mistakes every day you wake up? Strategies for handling objections – 46:45 What framework can you use for overcoming objections? What is the difference between a good salesperson and a great salesperson? Introverts aren’t regularly associated with great salesmanship, but as the world evolves, introverts have an edge in sales. People want to be valued and they want to be understood. The more you can listen and ask questions, the better idea you will have about how you can solve their problem. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Jeb Blount’s website Sales Gravy Sales EQ by Jeb Blount Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the fundamentals of sales with Wes Schaeffer. Wes is the creator and owner of The Sales Whisperer, a sales training, marketing and consulting firm with an emphasis on CRM & email marketing software sales, support and optimization. Sales skills are integral to our daily lives because we are regularly trying to solve problems and get other people to buy into our ideas, so what are the fundamentals of great salesmanship, how can you work to improve your sales skills, and why do you need to be a great listener to be great at sales? What to Listen For How did Wes Schaeffer get started in sales – 3:00 Do you need to be an entrepreneur to get the most out of life? How should you think about your day job if you dream of being your own boss one day? The biggest misconception about people who are not in sales – 8:10 Why do we need some degree of sales skills to be successful in all areas of life and what can you do to improve yours? The new ABC’s of sales – 12:35 What is the difference between influencing, persuading, and manipulating someone? What do great sales people understand about the actual significance of the transaction stage in making a sale? What is the difference between mediocre and great salesmanship? – 24:00 What mistakes do new people in sales make to shoot themselves in the foot over the long term? What should you be trying to identify when talking to a potential customer that will allow you to determine the perfect product or service to address their needs? The two halves of listening – 33:40 Why do people experience beginner's luck? What should you focus on when improving your sales skills? What is the difference between education and training? Anytime you are trying to influence or persuade someone, you are utilizing sales skills. It can be something as simple as convincing your friends where the best place to get dinner is, or persuading your boss to give you a two week extension on a deadline. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Wes Schaeffer's website The Sales Podcast hosted by Wes Schaeffer The Sales Whisperer Way by Wes Schaeffer Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover becoming unstoppable with AJ, Johnny, and Michael. Anyone can develop confidence that makes you unstoppable, but what does it even mean to be unstoppable, what is stopping you from being more confident today, and why does avoiding the process lead to feeling miserable? What to Listen For Why do most people never become confident? – 3:22 What is the biggest misconception people have about developing confidence? What are the 3 reasons people can’t start being more confident? – 5:30 What assumptions do you make about other people that get in the way of developing your confidence? What does a real-world definition of confidence look like? What does it mean to have unstoppable confidence? – 11:00 How should you start thinking about your thoughts and emotions if you want unstoppable confidence? Why is it dangerous to wait for you to have confidence before taking action? Stop reading books and take action – 18:00 Why does avoiding your fears make taking action more difficult? Why does reading too much actually cripple your ability to grow and reach your potential? Why does avoiding discomfort cause life to suck? – 25:50 Why is it detrimental to your growth to surround yourself with people who avoid fear and who should you surround yourself with? What can you do to start attracting a high-value social circle? – 32:20 Why is growth impossible as long as you are in your comfort zone? How do confident people think about fear and anxiety? – 50:45 The path to unstoppable confidence is a simple one. Stop reading books and take action, stop avoiding discomfort in life because avoiding it will cause your life to suck, and attract high-value social circles by thinking about fear and anxiety differently than most people do. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrates your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Become Unstoppable with the Art of Charm Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover digital body language with Erica Dhawan. Erica studied human innovation and collaboration for over 15 years, shared her insights with over 200 audiences around the world, and wrote the new best-selling book, Digital Body Language: How to Build Trust and Connection, No Matter the Distance. Now that we are working remotely more than ever before, our digital body language is crucial to our success in the workplace, but what is digital body language, how is it different from physical body language, and what can you start doing today to stand out as a leader? What to Listen For What is digital body language? – 8:09 Should you be concerned about your background on a Zoom call? What should you be concerned about most when you’re on a video call? How is digital body language different from the body language we use when face to face? How do you figure out what norms are acceptable in digital communication? – 13:44 What assumptions do we need to stop making when communicating digitally and how are those assumptions eroding at our ability to communicate effectively? What can we do to make sure we’re not misreading messages and emails? What can we do to set clear expectations for digital communication? – 19:55 How do we collaborate competently in the digital age when so much time is wasted in unclear communication? What are the four anxiety provoking events in digital communication? – 22:52 What two questions should you ask yourself when you realize you’re getting stressed out or anxious about a message or email someone sent you? What should you do if you feel like a team member or friend seems disinterested in a group conversation or Zoom call? How do Zoom calls limit the generation of new ideas? – 34:44 What can you do to foster team chemistry and help team members work together more effectively without team building activities? What three things can you do to maintain engagement over Zoom calls? – 40:00 What can you do to be more engaged in meetings if you are the only person on Zoom and everyone else is in a meeting room together? What are the best practices for onboarding digital new hires? How is our digital body language changing our physical body language? – 54:15 What ground rules can you incorporate today to set expectations for digital communication? The digital age has caused an interesting shift in the way we communicate. Our tone and facial expressions are no longer conveyed through words alone, but also in our digital body language. Our digital body language is conveyed through many things including what’s behind you when you’re on a Zoom call, whether you use Slack or email to send a message, and the “tone” of your text messages. Therefore, it’s critical that we set clear expectations for digital communication to keep our teams on track and engaged as studies show up to 4 hours of productivity are lost per week due to unclear communication. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Erica Dhawan’s website Digital Body Language: How to Build Trust and Connection, No Matter the Distance by Erica Dhawan The Digital Body Language Expert Course Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover psychological flexibility with Dr. Diana Hill. Diana helps her clients build a values-rich life and unpacks the science of acceptance commitment therapy (ACT) through the cutting-edge podcast Psychologists Off the Clock, online teachings, and her book ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Life throws curveballs at us all the time, but if you have psychological flexibility you can be prepared for them—so what is psychological flexibility, why is it detrimental to our health and fulfillment to be psychologically rigid, and how do you start developing psychological flexibility? What to Listen For Why did Dr. Diana Hill pursue a career in ACT? – 0:00 What is psychological flexibility and why is it important for all of us to work on it if we don’t want to be crushed by the events and challenges in our lives? What are the 6 processes involved in psychological flexibility and why is it more important to focus on the processes than the resulting outcomes? Why does focusing on goals lead to disappointment in the long run? What makes some of us psychologically rigid? – 4:42 What areas in your life does psychological rigidity prevent you from being the best version of yourself? What can you do to identify the intrinsic values in your life so you can stop relying on future outcomes to bring you fulfillment instead of present processes? What is integrative psychology? What are the downsides of striving? – 15:25 What is experiential avoidance and how is it linked to unhealthy striving? What is values-based striving? How do you develop self-compassion? – 21:05 What practices can you start using today to develop self-compassion? Why is self-compassion important if you want to be a top-performer? Why does avoiding pain make life harder? – 36:20 How should we look at and deal with pain if trying to avoid it makes life more painful? What are self-stories and how do they limit our ability to perceive the world around us and achieve our potential? What can you do to help kids build psychological flexibility? – 43:58 Where should parents start if they want to help and encourage their children to build psychological flexibility so they are better able to deal with the challenges they will face in life? What value can you expect to get out of the ACT Daily Journal? What makes you resilient to the ups and downs of life? We all face challenges, but some are more flexible than others. Building psychological flexibility is a lifelong journey that requires self-awareness in your thoughts, emotions, behavior patterns, and relationships with others. The difference between being psychologically rigid vs. having resilience may seem like an abstract concept—but it can have drastic implications for our health and well-being over time if we're not careful! A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Dr Diana Hill’s website Psychologists Off the Clock Podcast ACT DAILY JOURNAL: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover how to develop the confidence and fearlessness of Navy SEALS with Rich Diviney. Rich draws upon 20+ years of experience as a Navy SEAL Officer where he completed more than 13 overseas deployments. Since retirement in early 2017, Rich has worked as a speaker, facilitator, and consultant with the Chapman & Co. Leadership Institute and Simon Sinek Inc. Anyone can learn a skill, but the same cannot be said for attributes—so what is the difference between skills and attributes, how do you develop the attributes you do have, and how can you identify what your strongest attributes are so you can lean into them and be successful? What to Listen For Why did Rich Diviney want to be a Navy SEAL - 0:00 How did Rich’s SEAL training prepare him for the chaos and uncertainty of the pandemic? Why is it important to train both the mind and body when it comes to developing resilience? How did military life prepare service persons for the pandemic - 11:10 What is elemental human behavior and how does it drive you to act the way you do? What can you do to better understand what advice will actually help you and what advice will waste your time? How do you figure out the life best suited for you - 18:04 What is the difference between skills and attributes and why is one more important in times of stress or uncertainty? What does it take to develop an attribute and can anyone develop any attribute? How can we create opportunities to develop attributes? - 25:24 How do you know what attributes are worth developing and which ones are a waste of your time? What is the difference between narcissism and arrogance, and which one is actually good to have in healthy amounts? If you’re a narcissist, what can you do to mitigate it and keep it in control? What attribute is critical to problem solving? - 36:02 How do Navy SEALS face their fears and what can you learn from how they do it? What can you do to develop your courage? Why is it important for everyone to develop their ability to take responsibility? What can you do to develop your confidence? - 48:26 How do you define true confidence? What actually is fear and how do we develop the ability to work through it? How do Navy SEALS handle uncertainty and how can we apply it to everyday situations? The world is in need of more individuals who can identify their strengths. If you know your strong points, then it will be much easier for you to find work that matches those talents and skills so that you are able to excel at what makes the most sense for YOU! A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Connect with Rich Diviney on LinkedIn The Attributes by Rich Diviney The Attributes Self Assessment Tool Art of Charm Bootcamp! Core Confidence Coaching Program Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover small talk and smart talk with AJ, Johnny, and Michael. If you want to make meaningful connections with people, you have to transition from small talk to smart talk, but what is smart talk, why is vulnerability key, and how do you know what questions to ask? What to Listen For Small Talk and Smart Talk - 0:00 How do you transition from small talk to more meaningful conversations that actually create connections? Why is vulnerability important when selling someone on an idea or solution, and how do you use vulnerability to do it? How to be vulnerable using the cave analogy - 4:30 What is the cave analogy and how can you use it to lead a conversation to a strong connection? What does it mean to move laterally and vertically in a conversation and why is it detrimental to only move in one direction? How do you know what questions to ask when making small talk? The FORD acronym for making small talk - 10:30 What four basic ideas can you use to come up with easy questions to start a conversation? What should you do if you find yourself in conversational dead ends, or if the person you’re talking to is giving you short responses? How do talk about yourself in a meaningful way - 19:05 How do you talk about yourself without coming across as boastful or arrogant? Once you connect with someone, how do you deepen that connection? If you want to make meaningful connections with people, you have to transition from small talk to smart talk. What is the difference between small and smart talk? When we think of small talk, most often it's just a way for us to pass time or fill an awkward silence. Smart talk is about asking the right questions and listening closely to what they have to say. This will help you understand their needs on a deeper level, build stronger relationships with them, and form better connections than if all you did was small talk. But without vulnerability in your interactions, there’s little chance of connecting with someone new or deepening an existing relationship. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode The Art of Charm Small Talk Cheat Sheet Eavesdropping on Happiness: Well-being is Related to Having Less Small Talk and More Substantive Conversations The Art of Charm Immersive Bootcamp Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover winning with Tim Grover. Tim is the CEO of ATTACK Athletics, a keynote speaker and consultant to business leaders, athletes (including Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade), and elite achievers, and is the preeminent authority on the science and art of physical and mental dominance and achieving excellence. Winning is something we all experience in a lifetime, but what does it take to win at winning, how do winners manage their time with everything else they do, and what do you need to do if you want to be the best at what you do? What to Listen For How did Tim Grover get his start working with Michael Jordan - 0:00 How do you build trust with clients when starting out as a trainer or coach? What do elite performers do to manage self-doubt and insecurity, and what can you learn from how they do it? The three categories of winners and their mindsets - 10:54 What 3 categories can individuals be broken down into and why will being in 2 of the 3 categories prevent you from being the best at what you do? How do you need to approach failure if you want to be a winner? What mindset do you need to stay ahead of everyone around you who is also trying to win? Why is it not enough to only know the fundamentals if you want to win? What do you need to look for to make winners keep winning - 24:00 What allows people to win when everyone around them can’t? How do you coach people through their insecurities so they can come out the other side as winners? How do professional winners push through their distractions to stay focused? Where did the Mamba Mentality originate and what did it represent off the court? Develop the focus and time management of champions - 39:42 What is the difference between managing your time and managing your focus, and why should you avoid one if you want to be the best at anything? What do you need to do to create balance and time in your life? What role does selfishness play in winning? How do you set boundaries when you’re surrounded by people who want your attention all the time? Elite performers don’t just have talent and skill. They also use their minds to manage self-doubt, insecurity, and distractions in order to stay focused on the task at hand. And there is no one way that works for everyone. What we can say with certainty about how you need to approach failure if you want to be a winner comes down to this simple but powerful truth: You must see your failures as opportunities for growth—as learning experiences which will help make you better than ever before! A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Tim Grover’s website Winning: The Unforgiving Race to Greatness by Tim Grover Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover our inner voices and chatter with Dr. Ethan Kross. Ethan is an American experimental psychologist, neuroscientist and writer, who specializes in emotion regulation. He is a professor of psychology and management at the University of Michigan and director of the Emotion & Self Control Laboratory there. We all have that voice in our heads that can feel out of our control sometimes, but why is it there, how can you use it to build confidence, and how does the world around you influence it in good and bad ways? What to Listen For Introduction - 0:00 Why is it a bad idea to turn inward when you encounter challenges in life, and what should you do instead? Why do we have a voice inside our heads that never stops talking? How can you use the voice in your head as a tool to strengthen your mental capability? What is the dark side of our inner voice and what can we do to manage it? How do you manage your inner voice - 10:30 What can we do to harness the power of our inner voice to help us rather than hold us back and limit our potential for success and happiness? How can the people around you be helpful or harmful when it comes to managing your inner voice? What is co-rumination and how can it hinder your ability to see situations clearly and move forward after painful experiences? Tips for nurturing healthy chatter - 40:30 Is it possible to silence the chatter in our heads? How does digital interaction with one another harm us compared to real face to face interaction? What two things should you consider when it comes to social media and your inner voice? What is good sleep hygiene and why is it important to get uninterrupted quality rest? What can you do to help people who might be struggling but refuse to ask for help? Developing a healthy relationship with your inner voice can help you build unbreakable confidence and lead effortlessly. You can start by acknowledging it and making room for it in your life, instead of trying to silence or ignore it. Observe it and pay attention to when you’re giving it too much control over what you’re thinking about or feeling. As you do that, be open-minded about the world around you—engaging new people, experiences, and ideas will help broaden your horizons, push your confidence higher, and keep your inner voice in check. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Dr. Ethan Kross’s website Chatter The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover what it means to work on yourself with Dr. Nicole LePera. She is the creator of the popular Instagram account @the.holistic.psychologist, was educated in clinical psychology at Cornell University and The New School of Social Research, and is the author of the best-selling How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self. Introduction It takes a lot of work to go from insight to effecting real long-lasting change, so how do you bridge the gap, why does focusing on the flaws of others hurt your own development, and how does your lack of emotional expressiveness take away from your life satisfaction? Introduction - 4:00 What does it mean to “do the work” when embarking on a path of self-development or healing after trauma? Why is it important to bridge the gap between insight and action and why do so many people fail to, leaving them unable to make progress? How do you overcome your own resistance to change? Detangling trauma from an idealized past - 13:32 What can you do to identify trauma in your life that is causing you to self-sabotage without even realizing it? What are the most common self-sabotaging behaviors people do without realizing it? What are trauma bonds and how does it show up in your relationships in destructive ways you might not even realize? Your unknown expectations can destroy your relationships - 28:28 What role do expectations play in trauma bonds influencing our current relationships? What do you do when you are ready to make a change but your friends or family aren’t supportive or ready to make changes themselves? How should we think about emotions - 37:46 What steps can you take to start valuing your emotions instead of dismissing them or allowing other people to dismiss them? Why is self-compassion important when it comes to “doing the work” and growing into the person you want to be? What can you do if you’re an overachiever and feel like you need achievement to feel complete? How do you overcome the fear of being who you want to be so you can get out of your own way? Have you ever felt a fear so strong that it nearly paralyzed you or left you trembling? Maybe the event was a real-life trauma, like being mugged. Or maybe it was something more subtle but equally as debilitating - like walking into an interview for your dream job and feeling all those eyes on you, sizing up who they can't wait to reject. All of these events can have long lasting effects on who you are and who you want to become. But you have to be willing to identify them, work through the effects they’ve had, and get out of your own way to be comfortable expressing who you really are. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode The Holistic Psychologist Instagram account How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self by Dr. Nicole LaPera Dr. Nicole LaPera’s website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover building stronger connections with Dr. Carole Robin. Carole Robin, Ph.D. was the Dorothy J. King Lecturer in Leadership at Stanford's Graduate School of Business where she helped to further develop the Interpersonal Dynamics Course, and is now the author of the best selling book, Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues. Technology and the pandemic have changed the landscape of human connection, but how bad is it, what simple tips can you use to improve your ability to connect, and what is the correct way to show vulnerability in the workplace? What to Listen For The damage technology is having on our ability to connect - 0:00 What experience do we all need as humans and what can you do to give people that experience? Why are we losing close connections in our lives and what can we do about it? How does social media trap you into a state where you can’t connect with the people around you and what can you do about it? What simple tip can you use to deepen any connection? Why you need to get comfortable talking about feelings - 9:56 Why is it detrimental to your relationships to avoid talking about your emotions and feelings? What are the benefits of expressing your feelings and how does it help strengthen your relationships? Why are “why” questions so challenging when it comes to connecting with someone, and what questions should you ask instead? What type of questions can lead to the other person feeling judged? What is the signature trait of a successful relationship? What does a successful relationship look like? - 31:38 What are the characteristics of a successful relationship and what can you do to cultivate them in your relationships? How has the pandemic affected the way we interact with coworkers and build relationships? What 90 second exercise can you implement to strengthen your personal and professional relationships over Zoom? How can you be vulnerable without letting your disclosure be used against you? What can women do to become better leaders while staying true to themselves? Technology is changing the landscape of human connection and it's hard to know what will happen next. What you can do now, however, is learn to be vulnerable so that those around you also feel comfortable being open with one another. Without this openness we'll always have a lack of trust which does not bode well for our society at large where social connections are essential. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues by Dr. Carole Robin Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover small talk with AJ, Johnny, and Michael. Getting on the question train is one of the most common mistakes people make in conversations without realizing it, but what is it, why does it kill conversations, and how do you avoid getting on it? What to Listen For The pitfalls that lead to one-sided conversations - 0:00 What is the conversation formula you can use to create engaging conversations in any situation? What is the conversation train and why do you want to avoid it when you’re talking to someone? Why are people more likely to disclose personal information to strangers than to close friends? The conversation formula - 13:20 What is the best way to start a conversation with someone you don’t know? What kind of questions should you avoid when making small talk? What is the most important part of a conversation after asking the initial question and why do we often trip up over it? What is the question train and how do you avoid it? - 27:20 Why does an endless series of questions deter people from wanting to talk to you? What easy-to-remember visual can you keep in mind when making engaging small talk? What are the 3 A’s of value we should be giving to people when we’re speaking to them? What is emotional contagion and why is it important to understand when leading a conversation? Asking questions is a critical part of engaging conversations. But asking too many questions can kill a conversation. A conversation should be a balance between asking questions, listening, and relating. That means after you ask a question, you should be listening to what the other person says, and then responding with a statement that shows you were listening and that you understand what the other person was trying to say. You ask a question, they share, you share, then you can ask another question or preferably, they ask the next question. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Toolbox: Biggest Myth With Small Talk & 3 Mistakes to Avoid How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie Self-Disclosure: An Experimental Analysis of the Transparent Self Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the idea of mental mess with Dr. Caroline Leaf. Caroline has spent the last 30 years researching the nature of mental health and has helped hundreds of thousands of people learn how to use their mind to detox and grow their brain to succeed in every area of their lives including school, university, and the workplace. We are all dealing with mental messes in varying degrees, but what is a mental mess, how does your mental mess impact your ability to find happiness and success, and what process can you start using today to clean up your mental mess? What to Listen For What is a mental mess and why is it important to manage? - 0:00 What is neuroplasticity and how can you take advantage of it on a daily basis to improve the quality of your life? What is the difference between the brain and the mind and why do we put so much attention on one at the detriment to the other? What can you do to replace your negative thoughts & beliefs with positive, empowering thoughts & beliefs? What’s wrong with the way we treat mental health? - 16:27 How is our current perception of mental health treatment preventing us from making significant progress in our overall mental health and happiness? How has the media negatively impacted our mental health and the way we process our mental messes? How does your mental health influence the length of your lifespan and what can you do to live a longer, healthier life? What is the neurocycle and how can it improve our lives? - 37:15 What are the 5 steps of the neurocycle and how can you use it to heal grief? Why is it important to develop a self-awareness of your mental state? How do you prepare yourself for those moments when you know you will feel anxiety or fear so they don’t stop you from achieving success? Mental health is an important part of everyone’s existence. In the same way we should take regular steps to maintain and improve our physical health, we must do the same for our mental health. If we don’t, then a mental mess builds up over time. This mental mess clouds our thinking, influences our beliefs in a negative manner, and slowly eats away at relationships. Using the neurocycle described by Dr. Caroline Leaf, you can start cleaning up your mental mess and improve your quality of life today. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Dr. Caroline Leaf’s website Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess by Dr. Caroline Leaf CLEANING UP THE MENTAL MESS hosted by Dr. Caroline Leaf Neurocycle App Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the science of small talk with AJ and Johnny. Small talk can feel like a chore these days, but why is it important that we make small talk with people throughout the day, how do we make it fun and engaging, and why is it detrimental to our relationships and community to avoid or ignore small talk? What to Listen For The science of small talk and acknowledging others - 0:00 What are the benefits to making small talk and why does avoiding small talk erode the strength of relationships and community? Why do people go to extreme lengths to have their existence acknowledged? Why is it detrimental to think of small talk as useless or a waste of time? Why is small talk stopping you from being successful - 8:22 Why do people think small talk is boring and how is that mindset hindering them? In what way does small talk satisfy one of our most basic needs as humans? How can we use small talk as a jumping off point for engaging conversations? What pitfall do we need to avoid when making small talk? Why is it so important for us to make small talk - 16:00 Does small talk require you to be positive and bubbly? What is small talk really about? What can you do to be more likeable? What negative signals are you conveying when you ignore the attempts others make at small talk? What one word can you add to make your small talk more fun and conversational? Small talk is one of our more important tools in initiating engaging conversations. You can make it fun, but at times it can be awkward. That discomfort at the thought of awkward small talk leads people to opt out altogether in the age of smartphone proliferation. It feels much safer to stare at your phone than strike up a conversation with someone you don’t know. Unfortunately, this is leading to a lack of any small talk, even with friends and family. Over time, this leads to a total disconnect within communities as neighbors don’t talk to each other, friends sit on their phones when they’re out to dinner, and families resort to texting rather than calling each other. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Is Efficiency Overrated?: Minimal Social Interactions Lead to Belonging and Positive Affect Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover leadership with Brad Lomenick. Brad is a leadership consultant, speaker, founder of BLINC, and author of The Catalyst Leader and H3 Leadership. He writes about leadership, the next generation, creativity, innovation, social media, teamwork, and personal growth. Effective leadership is built on a few powerful traits anyone can learn, but what are they, what is the difference between an effective leader and an ineffective one, and what can you do to be an effective leader without being in a leadership position? What to Listen For Brad’s Journey & Strategies for Conquering Burnout - 3:34 What are the different levels of burnout and what can you do if you’re feeling burnt out? What can you do as a leader to encourage your team to hold you accountable for your faults and blindspots? The Biggest Leadership Myths & How to Assume Leadership - 9:59 What are the biggest myths about leadership? What are the two types of people who want to be leaders and why is one not cut out for the role? What can you do to be a leader if you are regularly jumping from one company to another? What can you do to be proactive about being a leader rather than waiting to be recognized as one? Ineffective vs Effective Leadership - 21:08 How does social media identify and highlight the ineffective leaders, placing poor examples of leadership in front of people around the world? How can a leader exemplify the hustle mentality and powerful humility? How do you build trust with your team when you are brand new and your team doesn’t know you? It seems as if the loudest “leaders” get the most attention, but getting someone’s attention or drawing an audience do not make someone a leader. The most effective leaders can lead from a place of trust and humility. They get buy-in from those around them by getting to know them and building a genuine relationship. If you want to be an effective leader, you must be willing to listen to the people around you and open up to them so they can connect with you. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Brad Lomenick’s website H3 Leadership by Brad Lomenick Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover networking as an introvert with Matthew Pollard. Matthew is an internationally-recognized consultant, speaker, author, serial entrepreneur with five multi-million dollar business success stories under his belt, and the author of his newest book The Introvert’s Edge to Networking. Networking when you’re an introvert can feel like a daunting task, so how do successful introverts do it, what advantages do introverts have when it comes to networking, and what can you do to be unforgettable? What to Listen For Why do introverts make the best networkers? - 0:00 What is the failing networking strategy many introverts adopt? Who are some of the more famous introverts and what can you learn from them? What’s the difference between extroverts and introverts when it comes to networking? How do you come up with a plan for networking? - 9:20 What is the best way to get other people interested in what you have to say or sell? What is a unified message and why do you need one to grow your network effectively? How important is it to be passionate when networking and what can you do to find the passion in what you do? What should you lead with when meeting new people to make sure they don’t forget you as quickly as they met you? What mindset will set you up for failure in a networking environment and what mindset should you adopt instead? How do you excel at networking online? - 36:18 Why is it more important to have a clear message when networking online than it is offline? What are the challenges you face when networking online and what strategies can you use to overcome them? What mistaken strategy do introverts tend to use when networking online and how does it lead to burnout and failure? Networking is typically associated with extroverts but that doesn’t mean introverts can’t be fantastic at it. Networking is all about building connections with people, and since introverts tend to seek deeper connections than extroverts, introverts have an inherent advantage they can leverage. The key for introverts when it comes to networking is to prepare - find out who will be at a networking event and decide who you want to meet. Do some research into what they do and what you might have in common so you can show genuine interest when you meet them instead of struggling through the initial introduction and conversation. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Matthew Pollard’s website The Introvert’s Edge to Networking by Matthew Pollard Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the power of music and listening with Panos A. Panay and R. Michael Hendrix. Panay is a Cypress-born entrepreneur and educator, Hendrix is an American graphic designer and entrepreneur, and both are the authors of Two Beats Ahead: What Musical Minds Teach Us About Innovation, featuring interviews with some of the top creative geniuses of our time. Some of the best music humans create comes from collaborative work between artists, but why is collaboration so important, what should you avoid when collaborating with others on any project, and why is it important to focus on the process of creating something just as much as the end product? What to Listen For The Power of Listening - 0:00 What is the difference between hearing music and listening to it? Why is the silence between notes more important than the notes themselves? What creative acts do design and music have in common? What are you NOT doing if you feel like you run out of things to talk about in a conversation? The Power of Collaboration - 16:45 What great approaches to collaboration can you use in your life and business to come up with new ideas? Why are trust and respect so important when pursuing collaborative opportunities with individuals and groups? What is missing from project based learning that can lead to a total failure for the teams working on the projects? What can you do if you find yourself on a team with people you don’t like or get along with? What conversation are professional organizations and businesses not having and why is it killing the effectiveness of project teams? Process Focused vs Outcome Focused - 29:38 Why is it more important to focus on the process of creating something rather than just the end result? How do you work with individuals who refuse to compromise when working on collaborative projects? What mistake do many companies make when trying to find collaboration opportunities? How do you bring out the individuality in your team members to get the best of the collaboration? Humans have likely been creating music for as long as we have been around. And the process of making music can teach us about the values that define humanity. The value of not just the notes, but the silence between them - both contribute to the sound of the music we love and hate. Similarly, it’s important for humans to have periods of rest in between periods of effort because in those periods of rest and boredom are when we come up with some of our best ideas. Those periods of rest between intense workouts are when our bodies get stronger. We cannot live fulfilling lives by simply resting all the time nor can we by working all the time. Balance is important in all things. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Two Beats Ahead: What Musical Minds Teach Us About Innovation Michael Hendrix’s website Panos A. Panay on Twitter Sonic Bids Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover superhero therapy with Dr. Janina Scarlet. Dr. Janina Scarlet is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, author, TEDx speaker, and a full-time geek who immigrated to the United States at the age of 12 with her family and later, inspired by the X-Men, developed Superhero Therapy to help patients with anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Effective therapy can come in many forms but superhero therapy is certainly one of the more interesting approaches we’ve come across - but what is superhero therapy, what can we learn from the heroes and adventures which inspire us, and how can you build an environment conducive to the life you want to lead? What to Listen For Dr. Janina Scarlet’s Origin Story and Using Stories to Heal - 0:00 How did Dr. Janina Scarlet get started using superhero stories to help patients with the mental health difficulties they’re facing? How can we reframe challenges we face using stories and characters in order to overcome them? How can you use fiction to gain insight into the challenges you face? What is a stress hormone and how does one in particular make it difficult for us to get out of bed in the morning? Building a Life that Supports Your Heroic Journey - 17:30 Why is it important to surround yourself with people who support you on your recovery journey? How can we use superhero stories to get our friends and family excited about helping us while also opening up about the challenges they’re facing? How do you construct an environment conducive to the life you want to lead and the person you want to become? How can you use fictional characters like superheroes to identify your core values in order to guide your decisions to build the life you want? What can we learn from our Heroes? - 31:28 What are the benefits to reading fictional stories and what can we all learn from the heroes of said stories? Is it more important to fake confidence until your confident or to be comfortable with your flaws and insecurities? What is Dark Agents about and what can it teach us about PTSD? What are the biggest misconceptions surrounding PTSD? How can you recognize when you or someone you know is struggling with PTSD and what can you do to seek help or get help? Can we experience trauma in life without realizing it until years later? The idea of finding a therapist and going to therapy can feel intimidating even though mental health is becoming less of a taboo subject. But therapy can come in many different forms and some of those forms can feel much more approachable and relatable. Superhero therapy is one because many of us grew up reading comic books and many more got hooked on the superhero movie craze that erupted two decades ago. It’s easy to be inspired by individuals who perform heroic acts yet still experience many of the same insecurities and flaws we normal people go through daily. As a result, the heroes and their stories have an incredible amount they can teach us if we’re willing to pay attention. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Dr. Janina Scarlet’s Website Superhero Therapy Podcast Harry Potter Therapy Podcast Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover happiness and positive psychology with Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar. Tal Ben-Shahar taught two of the largest classes in Harvard University’s history, Positive Psychology and The Psychology of Leadership, and now consults and lectures around the world to executives in multinational corporations, the general public, and at-risk populations. Finding happiness in the chaos of life has been a struggle for many in recent years, but what can be done about it, what role do technology and social media play, and how do we help our children navigate the increasing complexity of this world? What to Listen For Introduction Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar and Happiness - 1:20 What two groups of people don’t experience painful emotions and why would you not want to be in either group? What are the biggest myths surrounding happiness and positive psychology? What can 2020 teach us about happiness? What are the fundamentals of happiness and what makes them fundamental? When is distraction a positive thing to have in our lives and when should we avoid it? Building Healthy Habits Around Media Consumption - 10:50 What healthy habits can you develop around media consumption so you don’t drive your mental health into the ground? What are sanity islands and how can you use them to limit screen time and promote moderation? What are the benefits of social media use? What is the biggest contributor to depression and suicide in teenagers and what can we do about it? What are the 3 strategies you can use as a parent to promote healthy mental and emotional growth for your kids in the world of smartphones and social media? The Impact of Tech/Media Consumption on Our Daily Lives - 27:00 Why is it important to be comfortable with boredom and why do we need boredom to come up with our best ideas? How does our addiction to stimulation impact our relationships and what can we do to prevent our relationships from collapsing as a result? How do we overcome the paradox of choice so we can simply move forward with a choice rather than getting stuck trying to choose something? When is it detrimental to our happiness and well-being to have unrealistic expectations and how can you determine when it is ok to have high expectations? What is the most powerful gift we can give to people we care about who are suffering? What is toxic positivity and is it a legitimate concern in society? With mental health issues on the rise in modern society, it seems like happiness is taking a back seat to productivity and profit. Younger generations are experiencing spikes in depression and suicide as a direct result of mass adoption of smartphones and social media. The news is constantly bombarding us with fear and tragic events around the world. What can we do? For one, we can start by limiting our exposure to all the screens in our daily lives. The devices we own and the software on them are all engineered to keep us using them as long as possible. If you want to feel happier, replace screen time with face time, and not the kind of face time that requires a device. Real in-person face time. The same goes for your kids. Children aren’t going to learn social skills by sitting in front of a screen all day. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar’s website Happiness Studies Academy Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover self-awareness with Dr. Tasha Eurich. Tasha is an organizational psychologist, executive coach, researcher, and New York Times best-selling author of Insight and Bankable Leadership. Self-awareness is crucial when it comes to understanding ourselves and the people around us, but how do you go about developing it, what are the biggest misconceptions about it, and what can you do to overcome the blind spots in your self-awareness? What to Listen For What is self-awareness? - 2:50 What are the different types of self-knowledge that make up self-awareness? What is the difference between internal and external self-knowledge and why do you need both? How does the prevalence of smartphones negatively affect our ability to develop our self-awareness? How many people are actually self-aware? How do people with self-awareness use social media compared to those without self-awareness? Why are Zoom meetings so draining compared to normal meetings? Popular Misconceptions Around Self-awareness - 19:55 What is the biggest myth surrounding introspection and self-awareness? What is the most dangerous question we can ask ourselves when trying to develop self-awareness and what question should we ask ourselves instead? What kind of journaling should you avoid if you are developing your self-awareness? How do you journal in a way that is conducive to self-awareness? The 3 Different Types of Blind Spots in Self-awareness - 37:50 What are the 3 different types of blind spots we have and how can we overcome them? Why is it detrimental to your growth if you don’t have a solid feedback loop in your life? What strategies can you use with your coworkers, friends, and family to get the feedback you need to grow and succeed? What are the 3 building blocks of a self-aware team and why is one more important than the others? What can you do to better deal with a lack of self-awareness around you? To grow and develop as a person, you must be willing to acknowledge faults and weaknesses in yourself so you can work on improving them, or at least know how to compensate for them. You must be willing to accept that the people you interact with can have legitimate criticisms you can learn from because you can’t see your own blindspots until they are pointed out. Developing your self-awareness depends on both because you must not only work to understand yourself but also how your “self” exists in relation to others around you. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Tasha Eurich’s website The Future Ready Leader Course by Tasha Eurich American Icon: Alan Mulally and the Fight to Save Ford Motor Company Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover emotional bids with AJ and Johnny. Understanding emotional bids is the cheat code to building great relationships, but what are they, how do you recognize them, and why does ignoring them lead to the end of relationships? What to Listen For Why are Emotional Bids Important - 2:25 Why is it so important to your relationships to be able to recognize them? How can ignoring your partner’s emotional bids lead to the end of your relationship? Why is it important to actively listen for emotional bids when you’re talking to someone? What is an Emotional Bid - 16:38 What is an emotional bid and how do you recognize when someone is trying to get you to connect? Why is it more important to pay attention to the emotions behind the words than the words themselves? How do you make someone want to text you back? What can you do to be unforgettable after one conversation with someone? Common Emotional Bids and the 3 Ways to Respond - 27:30 What is a bid for attention and how should you respond to it? What is a bid for emotional support and how should you respond to it? What does it mean to turn toward an emotional bid and how can turning away from them or against them cause your relationships to crumble? What are the 3 ways we can respond to emotional bids and which one is guaranteed to make your relationship fail? How to Use Emotional Bids to Strengthen Relationships - 48:02 What simple exercise can you use to become aware of emotional bids from the people you interact with on a daily basis? How can a lack of awareness of emotional bids lead to divorce and what can you do to be more aware of them in your partner? Emotional bids are our way of expressing vulnerability without feeling like we’re taking a big risk, so if we can recognize the emotional bids in others, acknowledge them, and respond appropriately by turning toward them, we can make the people we care about feel more comfortable being more vulnerable and connecting with us. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship (AoC Episode 719) Turning Toward Emotion (AoC Episode 720) The Love Lab - Gottman Institute Art of Charm Emotional Bids Cheat Sheet X-Factor Accelerator Mentorship Core Confidence Coaching Program Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover overcoming breakups with Amy Chan. Amy has been writing about relationships, dating, and love for over a decade, is the Editor-in-Chief of Heart Hackers Club, and is the author of Breakup Bootcamp – The Science of Rewiring Your Heart. The end of a relationship can be a traumatic experience for many but it doesn’t have to break you - so what can you do to bounce back as an even better version of yourself, how can you learn from the relationship, and what resources can you rely on to help you move on? What to Listen For How Amy Chan Became a Relationship Expert - 0:21 Breakup Bounce Back and Attachment Theory - 2:19 What can you do to focus on yourself and heal after a breakup rather than blame the ex and other external factors? What is Attachment Theory and how does it teach us to view love as we grow up? What are the 3 main types of attachment that we learn during our childhood and how do they influence our view of love in adulthood? Once you know what your style of attachment is, what can you do to prevent yourself from sabotaging future relationships? How do you set healthy boundaries with friends and family after a breakup if they’re constantly trying to give you advice and project their own issues on you? Learning From the Past for Future Relationships - 21:00 What exercises can you use to recognize red flags with new potential partners if you have a tendency to jump from one relationship to another? How do you identify the baggage that YOU bring into relationships so you don’t let it destroy your relationships? What journaling prompts can you use to heal after a breakup? Why is breaking up from a relationship similar to breaking an addiction and what can you do to make it as brief and painless as possible? Why are rituals important to recovering normalcy after a breakup and what rituals can you start using today? How can we make the right choice when we are overwhelmed by dating options in front of us so we don’t waste our time? What are the 3 secret ingredients in a healthy relationship foundation? What is the Breakup Bootcamp - 44:06 What goes on during Amy Chan’s Breakup Bootcamp? What is limerence and how does it keep us in a vicious cycle of hurt? What is the biggest myth about how men and women handle breakups? The end of a relationship can feel like losing a loved one because your significant other feels like a part of your identity and your future. Losing that part of you, and feeling like a part of your future is ripped out from under you can be a difficult event to recover from, but there are steps you can take to minimize the suffering and move forward as a better stronger version of yourself. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Amy Chan on Twitter Breakup Bootcamp Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart by Amy Chan Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover effective feedback with Therese Huston. Therese founded the Center for Excellence in Teaching and Learning at Seattle University, has given more than 225 keynotes, talks, and workshops, and is the author of Let’s Talk: Make Effective Feedback Your Superpower. Giving great feedback is not easy and poorly worded feedback can put anyone on the defensive, so what does effective feedback look like, what can you do to practice giving great feedback, and why is it important to get better at giving feedback? What to Listen For Therese Huston’s Beginning - 0:00 What sparked Therese’s interest in researching the topic of effective feedback? The 3 Different Types of Feedback - 1:49 What are the 3 different types of feedback and how do you put all 3 together to give the best feedback? How do you give genuine appreciation and use it to transition into coaching feedback? What is coaching and how is it different from pointing out what someone is doing wrong? What does it mean to separate the person from the problem when giving feedback and why is it important if you don’t want the person to get defensive? Why does the feedback sandwich receive so much criticism and what is the correct way to use the technique? Cultivating a Growth Mindset Receptive to Feedback - 17:48 What can you do to cultivate a growth mindset in your managers so they can work with their employees rather than against them? Why do you need to state your intentions as a manager when giving feedback? What is the difference between a “me strength” and a “we strength” and why can a deficiency in one lead to a team’s failure? How to be a Better Leader and Team Member - 31:55 What are the different types of listening and why is it crucial to use one instead of the other? What is critical listening and why can critical listening in the wrong situation lead to a breakdown in communication? What can you do as a manager to ask better questions and thus get better results? What can you do to bring out the potential in younger employees? How do you move past unconscious bias in the workplace? What challenges does working remotely introduce into the process of giving effective feedback and what can you do to overcome them? Giving feedback can feel like a delicate balance between being too harsh and being too nice. On one hand, if we’re afraid to hurt their feelings, we might sugarcoat the issues and fail to impress upon them just how important it is that they improve. On the other hand, we want to be clear with people about what we want them to work on and why it’s important they improve, but it can be easy to overwhelm them with what they’re doing wrong and turn them against us. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Therese Huston’s website Let’s Talk: Make Effective Feedback Your Superpower by Therese Huston Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices