In today’s episode, we cover social media with Dr. Nicholas Kardaras. Dr. Kardaras is an Ivy League educated psychologist, best-selling author, internationally renowned speaker and an expert on mental health, addiction, and the impacts of our digital age. Social media has gripped us by the neck with socially inept nerds calling the shots, so what exactly is going on, how is social media amplifying mental health issues, and what steps can we take to break social media addiction? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is a social media algorithm and why can they be dangerous to society? What is the Online Safety Act and how does it serve to protect us from algorithms on social media? The social world is engineered by the socially inept – 16:42 Why is there so much friction between what is going on in the real world and the virtual world? How does social media amplify mental health issues and pressure young people to imitate the mentally unwell? Who should we trust – 28:46 How do we know who to trust online and why is it risky to allow anyone to determine what is true and false? Are younger generations more fragile than older generations? Social media and depression – 41:46 How does social media use lead to depression? Does an easier or harder life lead to a more fulfilling and happy life? What practical steps can you take to deal with social media addiction? Social media algorithms are created with the intention of getting users to spend more time on a platform, but they can have harmful consequences. By curating content and limiting the exposure to certain views, social media platforms can create an echo chamber that amplifies mental health issues and leads young people to believe that imitating the mentally unwell is normal behavior. Social media use can lead to depression, anxiety, and other mental health problems.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Dr. Nicholas Kardaras’s website Digital Madness: How Social Media Is Driving Our Mental Health Crisis--and How to Restore Our Sanity by Dr. Nicholas Kardaras Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover parenting and the CIA with Christina Hillsberg. Christina is a former CIA intelligence officer, writer, and recognized expert on women in espionage, intelligence tradecraft, and parenting, and the author of License to Parent:  Being a parent is hard enough already and now we have so much technology to worry about, so how do you teach your kids to build trust and to know who to trust, how do you properly regulate their access to video games and the internet, and how do you teach kids to recognize and avoid danger? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What should you study or work toward if you want to eventually work for the CIA or other intelligence agencies?  Teach kids to build relationships – 14:22 How do you teach your kids to deal with bullies in school? How do you build trust with your kids or stepkids? Dealing with kids and videogames – 30:30  How do you regulate the access to video games and the internet that your kids have to keep them safe? How do you teach your kids what information to trust online as well as who to trust online? Avoiding danger – 42:50  How do you teach your kids to avoid danger? What can you do to alleviate the worry and anxiety you feel as a parent? Raising kids in the digital age is a daunting task. It seems like every day we are faced with new challenges and questions about how to keep our children safe and help them grow into well-adjusted adults. But it’s important to remember that we aren’t alone in this struggle. There are plenty of resources available to us, both offline and online, and it’s important to make use of them all. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Christina Hillsberg’s website Christina Hillsberg on Instagram Christina Hillsberg on Twitter License to Parent: How My Career as a Spy Helped Me Raise Resourceful, Self-Sufficient Kids by Christina Hillsberg Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover leadership with John Bacon. John is an American journalist, a sports commentator on TV and radio, and author of books on sports and business including his latest best seller Let Them Lead: Unexpected Lessons in Leadership from America's Worst High School Hockey Team. Coaching a poor performing team to victory is no easy task, so what can you learn from a high school hockey coach who did just that, how high should you set expectations, and what can you do to set them up to lead themselves to success? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why did John Bacon decide to coach the worst high school hockey team in America and how did he take them from losers to champions? The Value of High Expectations – 15:15 Why is it important to set high expectations for your team? What does it mean to separate the behavior from the results and why is it important for you to understand if you want to be a great leader? Rules and Leadership – 30:18  What is the best approach to set rules and regulations as a leader and how can rules hurt your team’s performance? What’s the best way to deal with parents as a high school athletics coach? Questions, Questions, Questions – 42:10  How should you handle questions and concerns from your team to get the best out of them? How to allow your team to lead themselves to achieve their goals? Leaders should set high expectations for their team and give them the freedom to lead themselves. When team members know what is expected of them, they will be able to work more productively towards common goals. Giving your team the ability to find their own solutions and make decisions will help foster a sense of ownership and responsibility. This in turn can motivate team members to go above and beyond what is expected of them.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode John Bacon’s website Let Them Lead: Unexpected Lessons in Leadership from America's Worst High School Hockey Team John Bacon on twitter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover self-esteem with Dr. Steven Hayes. Steven Hayes is an American clinical psychologist and Nevada Foundation Professor at the University of Nevada, Reno Department of Psychology, where he is a faculty member in their Ph.D. program in behavior analysis, and the author nearly 670 scientific articles and 47 books including the best selling Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life.  The last couple of generations grew up in a world that focused on high self-esteem, but what exactly is self-esteem, why was it catastrophically wrong to focus on it, and what should you strive for when raising kids? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is self-esteem? Why is it dangerous to artificially inflate self-esteem? What is that critical voice you hear and how does it affect your self-esteem? What is confidence – 18:30 Why are many people who appear confident not? How does social media make it difficult for you to be self compassionate and stay true to yourself? Stop focusing on self-esteem – 30:20  Why is it catastrophic to focus on teaching kids to have a high self esteem? What can you do to develop your self-compassion to boost your confidence? Friends, values, and life fulfillment – 49:42  Why are values important and how do your friends influence your values for better or worse? Is too much self-compassion a bad thing? We’ve seen that it can be dangerous to artificially inflate self-esteem and that it is much more important to focus on teaching kids how to have a healthy self-compassion. When we develop our self-compassion, we become better equipped to stay true to ourselves, even when faced with difficult situations or negative feedback from others. With values clarification and by choosing friends who share our positive values, we can work together to encourage each other in living out our best selves.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life by Steven Hayes, Ph. D. Is Self Compassion More Important Than Self Esteem by Steven Hayes, Ph. D. Alex Banayan Episode Self-compassion protects against the negative effects of low self-esteem: A longitudinal study in a large adolescent sample by Sarah Marshall Steven Hayes TED Talk Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover becoming unstoppable with Michael Herold.  We all have the potential to achieve unstoppable confidence, but what are the 3 obstacles that stand in your way, what can you do to overcome them, and how do you identify your core values so you can find every day fulfilling? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the 3 obstacles you need to overcome to have unlimited confidence?  What can you do to separate yourself from your thoughts so they don’t get in the way of achieving your goals and dreams? What question can you ask yourself to instantly quiet your thoughts? Overcome negative emotions to achieve unstoppable confidence – 18:27 How do you overcome discomfort so you can get the most out of life? Why do we need to redefine happiness and what should the new definition be so we can pursue a more fulfilling existence? Find your core values –29:00  What are core values and why are they important for you to find for yourself if you want to live a rich and meaningful life? Why are goals overrated compared to living a life inline with your core values? What four ways can you use to identify your core values? There is a lot you can do to separate yourself from your thoughts and achieve your goals. You need to find what works for you, but some helpful tips are: be mindful of your thoughts, practice meditation or mindfulness, and write out your thoughts and goals regularly. Discomfort is a part of life, but it doesn’t have to stop you from achieving great things. In fact, it’s often through discomfort that we learn and grow the most. Core values are important because they provide a guide for how you want to live your life. They help us make decisions when we’re faced with difficult choices and help us stay on track when things get tough. Identifying your core values is an important step in finding meaning in life.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode The Art of Charm Instant Connection Kit Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the pursuit meaning and fulfillment with Yael Schonbrun. Yael is a clinical psychologist, assistant professor at Brown University, co-host of Psychologists Off the Clock, and the author of Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like Too Much).  The pursuit of meaning has taken a back seat in the last few decades and we’re paying the price, so what can you do to introduce more meaning into your life, how should you balance meaningful and pleasurable pursuits, and how can you you strengthen the relationships that already give you meaning? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Is it more fulfilling to be great at one role in life or divide your time between multiple roles? How should you balance the pursuits of meaning, pleasure, and purpose? Prioritizing the different roles in your life – 16:16 How do you determine which roles you should prioritize in your life when you have to take other people in your life into consideration? What should you do to preface regular one-on-one check-in conversations with your significant other and kids to strengthen the important relationships in your life? Strategies to Create Space for Strengthening Relationships – 29:40  What strategies can you implement on a weekly basis to make sure the relationships you care about don’t fall apart?  Adding for improvement vs subtraction for simplicity – 46:54 Should we prioritize adding things to our lives or subtracting things from our lives if we want to be happier and more fulfilled? It can be difficult to determine how to balance the different pursuits of meaning, pleasure, and purpose in our lives. We often have a lot of competing demands on our time and energy. But if we want to live happier and more fulfilling lives, it’s important that we take the time to figure out what’s most important to us and then put in the effort to make sure those things stay a priority. There is no one perfect answer for everyone – each individual will need to find what works best for them.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like Too Much) Dr. Yael Schonbrun | Dos and Don’ts of Modern Dating Dr. Yael Schonbrun on Twitter Katy Milkman | Eliminate Unhealthy Habits Today with 3 Scientifically Proven Strategies Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover talking to strangers with AJ and Johnny.  You never know what friend, business partner, or love interest you’ll meet by striking up a conversation with strangers in your daily life, but how do you create engaging conversations with anyone, what two things do you need for great conversations, and how do you make an unforgettable first impression? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How is technology harming our ability to hold conversations and how do we overcome it? Why is it important to your health and social life to make small talk with strangers? Simple Techniques for Talking to Strangers – 23:16 What tips can you use to have fun conversations with strangers? How do you know what to talk about with strangers? How do you give a compliment to a stranger? The Art of Charm Conversation Formula – 37:05 What is the formula for great conversations? How do you have a good conversation with anyone? What are the two things you need to have great conversations? Why is vulnerability important in conversations and how can you be vulnerable without being too vulnerable? Small talk is important because it helps us to get to know other people, learn about new things, and build relationships. It can also help you feel more connected and socialize when you may be feeling lonely or isolated. To know what to talk about with strangers, think about the setting you’re in and try to find a common ground or interest that you share. The formula for great conversations is simple: ask open-ended questions, listen attentively, and then share something personal about yourself. Having a good conversation with anyone is all about being vulnerable and letting your guard down a little bit. Don’t be afraid to share some of your own experiences or feelings, as long as you do so in a way that isn’t overwhelming or off-putting.  A Word From Our Sponsors Athletic Greens Right now, it’s time to reclaim your health and arm your immune system with convenient, daily nutrition! It’s just one scoop in a cup of water every day. That’s it! No need for a million different pills and supplements to look out for your health.  To make it easy, Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit https://athleticgreens.com/artofcharm.  Again, that is athleticgreens.com/artofcharm to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance! Join Our Private Facebook Group Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Conversation Magic Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode The Secret to More Engaging Small Talk Toolbox | 3 Steps to Break Out of Small Talk and Instantly Build Rapport Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover masculinity with Richard Reeves. Richard is a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution, where he directs the Future of the Middle Class Initiative and co-directs the Center on Children and Families, and is the author of several books including his latest, Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It. Western culture is experiencing a masculinity crisis, so what does mature masculinity look like in today’s society, what defines toxic masculinity vs mature masculinity, and how do we start instilling masculinity in our boys? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the trends in education and how are they impacting the genders? Why is there a lack of male teachers? The Crisis of Fatherhood – 24:07 What role should fathers play moving forward? What does mature masculinity look like in modern society and how do we instill it in our children? Toxic Masculinity – 38:15  What is the difference between mature masculinity and toxic masculinity? What role do rites of passage play in the transition from boyhood to manhood and what consequences do we face as a culture without them? Where do we start if we want to revitalize the masculinity in our society?  The Gender Pay Gap is a Parenting Gap – 59:07 What is the reason for the gender pay gap? Masculinity is not a dirty word. It’s time to reclaim it and redefine it for the modern world. We can start by teaching our children what mature masculinity looks like, modeling healthy behavior ourselves, and creating spaces where men can gather to discuss these issues. Together we can shift the paradigm of toxic masculinity and work towards a more inclusive society that celebrates all forms of masculinity. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Richard Reeves website Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It by Richard Reeves Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover social engineering and corporate espionage with Robert Kerbeck. Robert is the founder of the Malibu Writers Circle, his essays and short stories have been featured in numerous magazines and literary journals, and his new memoir, RU$E: Lying the American Dream from Hollywood to Wall Street, is a thrilling look into his career as a secret corporate spy. Espionage has been around for as long as people have kept secrets, but what do corporate spies do to get information from unsuspecting employees, what should you be on the lookout for to protect yourself and your company, and how do you become a corporate spy? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How do you become a corporate spy? How do corporate spies prepare for deceptive calls with competitors? Corporate Espionage Tools of the Trade – 13:36 What is a false time constraint and how do scammers and spies use them to manipulate you? How do scammers and corporate spies manipulate you to get whatever information they want? How do corporate spies receive new assignments? The different ways Corporate Espionage is used – 31:24  How do corporations use corporate spies to find new employees and executive leaders? How do corporate spies leverage fear to get what they want out of you? In order to protect yourself from becoming a victim of corporate espionage, it is important to be aware of the tools and tactics that scammers and spies use. By understanding how they operate, you can be better prepared to defend yourself against their attempts to manipulate you into giving away sensitive information. Remember, always be skeptical of unsolicited calls or emails and never give out personal information or passwords without verifying the caller’s identity first.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Robert Kerbeck’s website RUSE: Lying the American Dream from Hollywood to Wall Street by Robert Kerbeck Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover hunting discomfort with Sterling Hawkins. Sterling is the CEO and founder of the Sterling Hawkins Group, a research, training and development company focused on human and organizational growth, and is the author of Hunting Discomfort: How to Get Breakthrough Results in Life and Business No Matter What.  Discomfort is an inevitable aspect of getting anywhere in life, so what are the 5 kinds of discomfort we all face, what are the ways we all deal with discomfort that make it worse, and how can you leverage discomfort to turn your dreams into a reality? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why do you risk everything you’ve worked for when you avoid discomfort? What are the 3 default ways we try to deal with discomfort that only make the discomfort worse? How to Evolve through Discomfort – 11:20 What can you do to adopt a mindset that embraces discomfort and leverages discomfort to evolve as a person? What are the 3 kinds of beliefs and how do they drive everything you do? Hunting Discomfort vs Danger – 20:11  What is the difference between seeking out discomfort and doing dangerous things because they’re dangerous? What are the 5 types of discomforts we all face? The Necessity of Discomfort – 40:50 What can you commit to in order to force yourself to get comfortable with discomfort? Discomfort is a part of life. It’s what we do with discomfort that determines whether or not it will have a negative impact on our lives. When we avoid discomfort, we risk everything we’ve worked for. But when we embrace discomfort, we can grow as individuals and achieve things we never thought possible. So how do you start embracing discomfort? You can start by making a commitment to yourself get comfortable with discomfort. And then you can begin to experiment with different ways of introducing discomfort into your everyday life so that it becomes a regular part of your existence. Are you ready to take the challenge?  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Sterling Hawkins’s website Hunting Discomfort by Sterling Hawkins Hunting Discomfort Quiz Sterling Hawkins on Instagram Sterling Hawkins on Twitter Sterling Hawkins on LinkedIn Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the different work genius skills with Patrick Lencioni. Patrick is founder and president of The Table Group, a firm dedicated to helping leaders improve their organizations’ health and the author of ten business books including his most recent work, The 6 Types of Working Genius: A Better Way to Understand Your Gifts, Your Frustrations, and Your Team. Knowing what kind of work your personality is inclined toward can make the difference between loving your work and hating it, having an innovative team and a failing team, so what are the different types of work and how can you leverage them to achieve incredible success? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why do we get frustrated at work and what is triggering this?  What are the skills necessary to fully function in any work environment? Different Kinds of Working Genius – 5:32 What are the different types of working skills we already have and the skills we still need to develop? What are the benefits of learning and knowing how these skills can change our work environment? What Type of Worker Are You? – 18:28   How do you behave within the team and how do you react to different situations? Are you tenacious, love to push things forward, and make sure they get done? Interpreting the Assessment Results – 32:54 What can you do when you think your co-workers are outsmarting and outperforming you? What is the concept of quiet-quitting and why is it causing companies to lose their genius talents? A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode The 6 Types of Working Genius by Patrick Lencioni The Table Group Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the science behind the hidden power of relationships with AJ and Johnny.  The people in your life can you lead you to success or failure, joy or frustration—so how do you know what influence people and their friends are having on your life, how can you be a high value person to attract high value friendships and relationships, and what steps can you take to upgrade your social circle? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What influence do the people around you have on your happiness and ability to achieve your goals? How do you handle relationships that have a negative influence on your life? High Value vs Low Value Behavior – 10:55 What does it mean to be high value and why should you avoid low value behaviors if you don’t want to lose great friendships and relationships? What are the benefits of being high value as much as possible? Inescapable Influence of Friends and Family – 23:01  How can your life be influenced by the friends of friends you don’t even know and what can you do to mitigate the harm they cause? Can you filter out the negative influences of certain friends so you can keep them around for the positive influences? Curate Your Social Circle – 47:30 What steps can you take to upgrade your existing social circle so your friends, family members, and coworkers support you rather than bring you down? What is the difference between venting and gossiping and how should you respond to each one? Other people are capable of having a significant impact on your life. If you let them, the right ones can set up conditions for success while leaving behind only pleasant memories and happy moments in their wake - but how do we determine which individuals will provide us with these opportunities? And more importantly: what can we do when our friends begin steering clear-cut paths towards failure or discontentment instead by trying to guide themselves into successful futures through less than honest means such as cheating at sports games etc. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode What Are Social Skills? A Value Vampire Has No Clue Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover conscious conversations with Chuck Wisner. Chuck is a business and personal consultant and an advisor to leaders in high-profile companies in several industries such as Google, Rivian, Apple, and Tesla, and is the author of The Art of Conscious Conversations: Transforming How We Talk, Listen, and Interact.  Conversations are an important aspect of running a business with employees, so what conversations should you be having with your employees and what types of questions should you ask? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How many different kinds of conversations are there and why do you need to know them all? Advocacy vs Inquiry – 22:55 Why is it important to balance advocacy for yourself and inquiring about others? The 4 Questions to Ask in Conversations – 34:16  What kinds of questions should you ask yourself when you’re talking to someone if you want to spark more engaging conversations? Conversational Bypass – 48:30 Why is it important to touch on all four types of conversations in business and planning meetings in order to get the most out of your team?  The next time you’re in a meeting, think about how you can use all four conversation types to get your point across. When you advocate for yourself and inquire about others, it will create a more balanced and engaging discussion. Asking the right questions of yourself before talking to someone can help set the tone for a more productive exchange. Touching on all four conversation types is important in business because it allows for different perspectives to be explored and helps everyone feel heard.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode The Art of Conscious Conversations by Chuck Wisner Chuck Wisner’s website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover groundedness with Brad Stulberg. Brad coaches executives, entrepreneurs, physicians, and athletes on health, well-being, and sustainable excellence, and is the bestselling author of The Practice of Groundedness: A Transformative Path to Success that Feeds -- Not Crushes -- Your Soul. Being present is harder than ever in a world with a million things fighting for our attention, so what can you do to stay grounded in a world of distractions, what mindset can you adopt to work hard without burning out, and build a community that keeps your carries your momentum forward? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is groundedness and what does it mean to practice groundedness? The Principles of Groundedness – 10:22 What practice can you implement to accept where you are in the moment so you can make better decisions about where to go next? What is the best thing you can do if you feel like you’re in a hole and time has slowed down to a crawl?  The Key to Feeling Good and Being Happy – 20:31  What piece of ancient wisdom is repeated throughout history when it comes to feeling good and being happy? What can you do to limit the distractions in your life so you can start your day productively and with a clear mind?  Vulnerability and Confidence – 41:50 How can you leverage vulnerability to build more confidence? What is deep community and how does it help you achieve groundedness? When it comes to happiness, feeling good, and crushing life, there is one ancient wisdom that keeps popping up throughout history. That ancient wisdom is groundedness. Groundedness means living in the present moment, being connected to your body and your surroundings, and having a clear mind. It’s about being fully aware of what is happening around you and within you. Practicing groundedness can help you limit distractions so you can start your day productively, build more confidence by leveraging vulnerability, and feel happier and more content in life. What will you do today to start living more grounding? A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Brad Stulberg’s website The Practice of Groundedness: A Transformative Path to Success That Feeds--Not Crushes--Your Soul by Brad Stulberg Brad Stulberg on Twitter Brad Stulberg on Instagram Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover leadership and motivation with Dan Luna. Dan formed 3LX Consulting in 2019 to empower leaders through coaching products that combine academics, consulting, and coaching, after a twenty-year career in the United States Navy SEAL Teams.  Leadership is a skill that requires conscious effort to develop, but how do we define leadership, what daily practices can you utilize to improve your leadership, and what can you do to lead and motivate your team to achieve their potential? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What does leadership mean to a Navy SEAL? Leadership Skill Transference – 10:42 How do you transfer your leadership skills from one area of your life to another? What can you do to develop self-awareness so you know where you are lacking when it comes to leadership? How to Start Journaling for Leadership Development – 30:51  What can you do start journaling from a leadership perspective to develop your leadership skills? How do You Motivate Other Leaders – 43:10 How do we define motivation so we are better able to motivate other leaders and team members? What areas can we highlight for team members to help them uncover the motivation to achieve their goals? What can you do to give great feedback people will listen to?  Leaders are not born but they are made. You can become a better leader by taking the time to journal your thoughts and experiences from a leadership perspective. This will help you develop an understanding for what motivates you and how you can motivate others. When it comes to giving feedback, make sure that you take the time to understand the person’s perspective before offering any criticism. Feedback is most effective when it is specific, actionable, and positive. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Team 3LX website Dan Luna on Instagram Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the concept of belonging with Geoffrey Cohen. Cohen is the James G. March Professor of Organizational Studies in Education and Business, professor of psychology and, by courtesy, at the Graduate School of Business at Stanford University, and the author of Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides.  Humans are social creatures and our health is tied to our social bonds, so what happens when we lose the sense of belonging, what can you do to improve your ability to foster that connection with others, and how do you develop the empathy necessary to connect with people from all walks of life? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What does it mean to belong and what happens to us when we don’t feel a sense of belonging? Situation Crafting – 20:48  What is situation crafting and how can you leverage it to accomplish your goals? What simple tricks can you use to accelerate your progress toward changing or improving your behavior? Turning Knowledge into Action – 35:30 How do you take information you learn in one area and apply it to other areas of your life to save time and energy? What are the three ingredients necessary to effect change on an individual level? How to connect with people across different beliefs – 45:10 What obstacles get in the way of connecting with people who have different beliefs than your own? How do you develop empathy for cultures or belief systems you have no experience with? We all want to feel like we belong, that we are a part of something larger than ourselves. When we don’t have that sense of belonging, it can be damaging both mentally and emotionally. But what if there were ways to create a sense of belonging for yourself? What if you could use the power of situation crafting to your advantage? There are simple tricks you can use to get started on this journey and develop empathy for cultures or belief systems that are new to you. The bottom line is that developing a sense of belonging is crucial to our well-being as humans. With the right tools and information, you can find belonging in even the most difficult situations. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides by Geoffrey Cohen Geoffrey L Cohen’s website Geoffrey L Cohen’s Stanford Faculty page Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover navigating college and your career with Belle Liang and Timothy Klein. Belle is a professor of Counseling Psychology and Principal Investigator in the Purpose Lab and Tim is an award-winning urban educator, clinical therapist and school counselor, and together they wrote How to Navigate Life: The New Science of Finding Your Way in School, Career, and Beyond. Society places a ton of pressure on kids to follow a certain path through life, but does that path set them up for success or failure, what mindset should we be instilling in kids before they choose a college, and why is the pursuit of happiness leading them away from a fulfilling life? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What mindset do we learn at an early age that sets us up for failure? What is the career and college navigation crisis? What’s wrong with how we perceive higher education – 12:20  What do we get wrong about guiding students into the higher education system and what should we do to set teens up for success after high school? The Three Mindsets for Success – 18:50 What are the three mindsets you need to chart the correct path through higher education? Why is it a bad idea to follow your passions? Why is it important to balance passion with performance and purpose? The Value of Being Purpose-Driven – 34:00 What does it mean to live with purpose and how do you figure out what your purpose is in college? Committing to only pursuing your passion places an unnecessary focus on only doing things that make you feel good and avoiding discomfort and hard work. That is the same as living a life in strict pursuit of happiness. If we chase happiness as a goal in life there will always be a gap between where we are now and the happiness we desire. That leads to a constant state of never being happy enough, thus defeating the purpose of trying to lead a happy life.   A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode How to Navigate Life: The New Science of Finding Your Way in School, Career, and Beyond by Belle Liang and Timothy Klein How To Navigate Life website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover quieting your inner critic with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.  We all have an inner critic for a reason, so what is that reason, what is it doing to stop you from living your dream life, and what tools can you implement today to quiet your inner critic and start leading the life you deserve? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why do we have an inner critic and what purpose is it supposed to serve? Quieting your inner critic – 24:30  What are the benefits of quieting your inner critic? The tools to quiet your inner critic – 34:30 What can you do to quiet your inner critic? How do you use self-compassion to make your inner critic into a supportive voice for growth and development? Do you find yourself losing the battle with your inner critic? That inner critic is there to save us from danger from how much danger are you genuinely in on a daily basis? The first mistake many people make is treating their inner critic as if that voice knows what is best for them. Rather than taking your inner critic seriously, start by asking yourself, “The way my inner critic is speaking to me now, would I talk like to my best friend?”  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode David Goggins & The Art of Mastering Your Mindset Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover peak performance with Steve Magness. Steve was two seconds away from breaking the 4 minute mile, he is a world-renowned expert on performance, coauthor of Peak Performance, and the author of the new book Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong. Performing at your best will attract countless opportunities in all areas of your life, but expectations and poor goal setting will hold you back, so what can you do to set the correct goals and expectations for yourself and how do you build the resilience necessary to achieve your potential?  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How do expectations alter the way we live our lives without us being consciously aware of it? What does toughness mean today? – 19:36  What is the difference between safety and security and how has the confusion between the two led to weaker humans? Transition from discomfort to action – 33:01 How do you take the discomfort you feel in a situation and convert it into meaningful action and goal setting? Goal setting and training resilience – 40:07 Why do many of us set goals that lead us to fail and how can we set goals that pull us to success instead? How do you train resilience? Expectations play a huge role in our lives, and often we aren't even consciously aware of them. Our expectations can lead us to discomfort, but if we learn how to convert that discomfort into meaningful action and goal setting, we can achieve our potential. Setting goals is an important part of this process, but it's essential to be realistic about what we can achieve and not set ourselves up for failure. With the right mindset and some practice, we can all work towards building a more resilient self. What are you going to do today that will help you meet your long-term goals? A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Steve Magness’s website Steve Magness on Twitter Steve Magness on Instagram Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover leadership with Dr. Karyn Gordon. Dr. Karyn Gordon is the CEO and co-founder of DK Leadership, a TED Talk speaker, and the Wall Street Journal Bestselling author of The Three Chairs: How Great Leaders Drive Communication, Performance, and Engagement.  Leadership skills are great for anyone to have, but they are crucial if you want to get ahead professionally, so what are the signs you need to work on your leadership skills, what can you do to work on them, and what’s the best way to ask for feedback so you know you’re improving?  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the five components of emotional intelligence? Signs your leadership skills are lacking – 18:11  What are some signs you need to work on your leadership skills before you shoot for a leadership position? What exercise can you do with your team at work to identify weak spots in your leadership skills? The best way to ask for feedback – 24:45 What can you do to ask your manager or supervisor for feedback that shows your willingness to excel within the company? What are the three chairs of leadership? – 41:03 Who has the hardest time setting boundaries and what can you do to improve your ability to set better boundaries? Leaders with a high emotional intelligence can inspire their followers to achieve great things. If you’re aspiring to be a leader, or are currently in a leadership position and feel like you could use some improvement, start by working on your emotional intelligence. There are many ways to do this, but one of the best is simply to ask for feedback. Let your manager or supervisor know that you want to excel within the company and that you’re willing to work hard to improve any areas where they see potential for growth. Then take that feedback and turn it into action. Finally, remember that setting boundaries is an important part of being a good leader. It can be difficult to say no sometimes, but it’s crucial if you want to maintain your own sanity (and health) while leading others.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Dr. Karyin Gordon’s website The Three Chairs: How Great Leaders Drive Communication, Performance, and Engagement by Dr Karyn Gordon Why Confidence Is The Secret To Great Leaders At Work & Home | TEDx Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the value of sorrow and longing with Susan Cain. Susan is the author of the Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, and her newest book Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole is focused on sorrow and longing as inspiration to experience sublime emotions opposed to the constant positivity expected by society.  Modern society reinforces the idea that we should strive to be positive in everything we do, but is positivity always better for you, why do we then seek forms of entertainment that evoke feelings like sadness, and how should we treat these emotions that society tells us we need to dismiss or get over? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Is there a link between creativity and melancholy? What is the difference between melancholy and depression and why does one support creativity while the other suppresses it? Why are we drawn to entertainment that evokes sadness – 15:21  What is it about sadness and beauty that we are drawn to? Why is it important to have a creative outlet for our emotions and what consequences do we risk by not pursuing a healthy outlet? What is the best way to process grief? What can leaders do to provide a healthy work environment – 29:48 What can you do to support your employees to minimize the chances of burnout and poor productivity? How do you figure out what you want to do with your life – 39:00 What should you do if you’re worried about hitting the milestones everyone expects of you (career, marriage, house, kids, etc)? How to figure out what you want to do with your life? The state of introversion vs extraversion – 49:12 What has changed in society with respect to understanding and empowering introverts? It’s important to take care of our mental health and process our emotions in a healthy way. It’s also crucial that we don’t shy away from the things that make us feel sad or down. There is something powerful and beautiful about sadness, and when we allow ourselves to explore it we can often find new ways of looking at the world and new sources of inspiration.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole by Susan Cain Susan Cain’s website The power of introverts | Susan Cain TED Talk Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover emotion efficacy with Dr. Aprilia West. Dr. West is a psychologist and executive and team leadership coach who works extensively with artists, creatives, and entertainment execs to increase their emotional intelligence, psychological flexibility, and resilience. Emotions influence our thoughts and actions everyday, so what can you do to understand them, understand where they come from, and understand how to manage them so they don’t lead you to make harmful decisions? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is emotion efficacy? What is the emotional default world and how does it shape your behavior? The importance of emotion efficacy – 13:33  What is the difference between feelings and emotions? The signs of low emotion efficacy – 27:00 How do you know if you have low emotion efficacy? What questions can you ask yourself to understand where you have room to grow emotionally? Five Steps to Increase Emotion Efficacy – 35:10 What can you do to increase your emotion efficacy? What does it look like to have great emotion efficacy in times of intense uncertainty? The Loneliness Epidemic – 40:05 What role does emotion efficacy play in your ability to connect with others and build friendships? Emotion efficacy is the ability to understand your emotions and express them in a healthy manner. It’s what allows you to stay in a positive emotional state and navigate challenging situations. In times of intense uncertainty, it can be one of the most important things you possess.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Dr Aprilia West’s website What You Feel Is Not All There Is by Dr. Aprilia West Dr Aprilia West on Instagram Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover narcissism with Lily Walford. Lily is an international dating coach and the survivor of a toxic narcissistic relationship. Narcissists are all around us and can cause untold harm to our mental wellbeing, so what can you do to identify and disarm narcissists, how can you tell if you’re in a relationship with one, and what should you look for to avoid getting into a relationship with one? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What does narcissism look like? How to identify narcissists – 15:30  What signs can you look for if you think you’re dating a narcissist? How do you know if someone is a narcissist? Self-care after a relationship with a narcissist – 24:05 What can you do to take care of yourself after a toxic relationship with a narcissist? Disarming Narcissists – 31:15 What can you to disarm a narcissist? How will a narcissist stop you from disarming him or her? Dating after a narcissist – 41:07 What 4 elements should you look for in a healthy relationship? What can you do to reinvigorate a relationship? Narcissists tend to be charismatic and successful. If you surround yourself with top performers, chances are there is a narcissist among them. So it’s important to be able to identify them before they wreak havoc on your personal and professional life. Additionally, there are steps you can take to disarm narcissists so they lose their power over you and the people around you. And if you find yourself dating a narcissist, make sure you take time after the relationship to identify what went wrong and be on the lookout for the 4 elements of a healthy relationship so you don’t end up dating another narcissist. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Lily Walford’s website Love With Intelligence YouTube Channel Love With Intellgience Facebook Group Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the science of competition with Ashley Merryman. Ashley is the Non-Resident Senior Fellow for the Joint Special Operations University and author of Top Dog: The Science of Winning and Losing. Competition can be healthy and unhealthy, so how do you know the difference between healthy and unhealthy competition, what are the differences between how introverts and extroverts handle competition, and how does gender play a role in competition? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the biggest myths surrounding competition and trying to be number one? What are the benefits of competition? Healthy vs Unhealthy Competition – 9:00  What is the difference between healthy competition and unhealthy competition? Where does the fear of failure come from? Overcome Fear of Failure – 15:30 What is the difference between a challenge and a threat and how can one lead you to failure while the other leads to success? What can you do to overcome the fear of failure when you know people are watching you? Don’t Think About Pink Elephants – 29:40 What can you do to start being competitive again after a severe loss? What are the differences between men and women when it comes to competition and competitive environments? What role does gender play in competition? Introverts vs Extroverts in Competition – 56:20 Why do introverts and extroverts approach competition differently and how can you use that knowledge to improve your ability to compete whether you are an introvert or extrovert? Competition can be a powerful motivator, but it’s important to make sure that you are using it in a healthy way. When competition becomes destructive and fear-based, it ruins our relationships and keeps us from achieving our goals. By understanding your own tendencies and working on overcoming your fears, you can learn to use competition in a positive way that unlocks your full potential. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Top Dog: The Science of Winning and Losing by Ashley Merryman Ashley Merryman’s website Ashley Merryman on Twitter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover networking to survive the recession with AJ and Johnny.  People rely on those they trust in times of economic hardship, so what can you do to grow your network before the next economic downturn and what value can you offer to strengthen your existing network so you’re in a better position when the next recession hits? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why is networking so important when you’re starting in a new field or trying to move up in your current field? Why is a strong network important to have before a recession begins? What everyone gets wrong about networking – 13:03  How do you network effectively so you’re not shooting yourself in the foot at every networking event? What is social capital and why do you need to understand it to network effectively? What three ways can you provide value to anyone in your network? The 4 levels of support value you can offer to anyone – 23:20 What can you do to stand out from the crowd when congratulating or supporting someone in your network?  Leverage your network to provide value to others – 33:50 How can you use your existing network to grow it while also offering value to people inside and outside of your network? What simple strategy can you use to grow your network from nothing on LinkedIn? It’s not a question of if the next recession will hit, but when. So, it’s important to start building your network now. A strong network can help you weather any storm. The more people you know in different industries and positions, the more resources you have at your disposal. Social capital is key to networking effectively; make sure you understand what it is and how to use it to your advantage.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode How to Attract High Value People & Opportunities | Toolbox Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover  with Angie Morgan. Angie is the co-author of Bet on You: How to Win with Risk, a book about discovering the formula for success and decision-making confidence to transform even the most risk-averse mindset. We have to take risks in order to become great at anything, but what do you do if that risk stops you dead in your tracks, who should you seek out for advice, and how can you manage risk so you can accomplish your dreams? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How do you break something down that appears to be a large risk? Who are the three types of people you should look out for when getting advice on a big risk you want to take, and who should you avoid? How to Find High Value Communities – 13:05  Where can you go to find high value communities that will support you and help you on your journey to achieve your dreams? How to Grow Your Confidence – 20:20 What are the three components of confidence you need to focus on in order to become more confident? How to Mitigate Big Risk – 39:30 What three strategies can you implement to effectively manage the risks you take in life? When it comes to making big decisions, it’s important to get advice from the right people. Seek out those who will give you honest feedback and support you on your journey. Avoid getting bogged down by negative people or those who are not willing to help you achieve your dreams. With the right mindset and a supportive community, anything is possible. What risks are you ready to take in order to achieve your goals? A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Bet on You: How to Win with Risk by Angie Morgan Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover building high value relationships with AJ & Johnny.  Building high value relationships requires vulnerability, but what does it mean to be vulnerable, how do you know when to be vulnerable, and what are some simple strategies you can use to be more effective in relationship building? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why is it important to build high value relationships? How do you start making new friends? Turn Small Talk into Smart Talk – 12:00  Why is vulnerability important when building connections with people? How do you bring vulnerability into your social interactions? The Three Levels of Vulnerability – 17:00 What is the first level of vulnerability and how do you know when to use it? How do you know when to go to the deepest level of vulnerability? What red flags should you look for in the way people react to your vulnerability? The Cave Analogy of Vulnerability – 37:50 Why is it important to lead with vulnerability before expecting others to be vulnerable? We hope that you walk away from this episode feeling empowered to build high value relationships with others. By being vulnerable and authentic, we create opportunities for true connection and intimacy. When we lead with vulnerability, it sets the tone for a more open and connected relationship in which both parties can be their true selves. What are you waiting for? Start building those connections today! A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode The Strength of Weak Ties by Mark S. Granovetter Art of Charm Small Talk Cheat Sheet Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover social engineering with Christopher Hadnagy. Chris is an IT entrepreneur, IT security consultant, and the best-selling author of five books including his latest Human Hacking: Win Friends, Influence People, and Leave Them Better Off for Having Met You. Social engineering is an effective tool to get what you want, but what is social engineering, how can you use it to instantly build rapport with complete strangers, and what should you look for if you think someone is using it against you?  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is social engineering and how do people use it every day? How to Build Rapport  – 10:10  Why is it important to learn how to build rapport and how do you go about learning it? The Four Questions of Trustworthiness – 25:18 What are the four questions we ask ourselves to determine whether or not we can trust someone? How can you build rapport instantly with someone you’ve just met?  When is flattery NOT ok? – 41:30 When should you avoid complimenting someone? What’s the best way to compliment someone? Social engineering is a powerful tool that can be used in positive or negative ways. By learning how to build rapport, you can use social engineering for good – to make connections with people, learn their stories, and understand them better. When you know how to spot red flags and protect yourself against social engineers, you become a more informed and empowered individual who can help keep themselves and others safe.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Human Hacking: Win Friends, Influence People, and Leave Them Better Off for Having Met You by Christopher Hadnagy Christopher Hadnagy’s website Christopher Hadnagy on Twitter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover contextual behaviorism with Dr. Emily Sandoz. Emily is a professor of social sciences in the psychology department at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette, the director of the Louisiana Contextual Science Research Group, as well as the Editor in Chief of the Journal of Contextual Behavioral Sciences, and has co-authored three books on acceptance and commitment therapy. Changing or eliminating problematic behavior is not as simple as flipping a switch, but what role does your environment play, how can you identify contextual problems in your daily life that are affecting your behavior, and what is the best way to learn new behaviors? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is contextual behaviorism and how does the environment influence your ability to change your behavior? Using  – 11:50  How can you use contextual behaviorism to change your problematic behavior? What does it mean to have access to certain behaviors and how do you what behaviors you do have access to? Learning new behaviors – 23:07 What is the best way to learn new behaviors? How can you use contextualism to manage your perfectionism? Give better advice with context in mind – 33:00 How can you set up your environment to be more conducive to the life you want? How do you shift from a goal-driven mindset to a value-driven mindset and what’s the difference? Context matters. That couldn’t be more true than with our behavioral development. Our behaviors impact the world around us and the world around us impacts our behaviors. So if you’re struggling to change your behaviors, one of the best places to look for a solution is your environment. What is it about your environment that is making it more difficult for you to change?  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Dr. Emily Sandoz Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover high value behaviors with AJ and Johnny.  Being a high value person opens doors to opportunities you never thought possible, so what does it mean to be high value, what high value behaviors should you look for in yourself and others, and what simple steps can you take to filter high value people into your life? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why are high value behaviors important if you want to have a healthy social circle and fulfilling life? What does it mean to be high value – 16:10  What is the difference between high and low value behaviors and why should you avoid low value behaviors if you don’t want to be miserable? How do you deal with friends who want to hold you back when you’re trying to grow and be a better person? How to Build a High Value Social Circle – 28:00 What steps can you take to build and maintain a social circle of high value individuals who will support you and be there for you when you need them? Examples of High Value Behavior – 37:50 How can you identify high value behavior in the people around you so you know who to connect with and who to avoid? So, what are high value behaviors? They’re the things that help us grow and become better people. They make our lives more fulfilling and meaningful. And they attract other high value individuals into our social circles. We all want to be happy and have a good life, but too often we get stuck around low value behavior that keeps us from reaching our goals. If you want to break out of this cycle and build a better life for yourself, start by making some changes in the way you interact with the people around you. Replace low value behaviors with high value ones, and surround yourself with positive people who will support your growth. It won’t be easy, but it’s worth it.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Avoid These 3 Low Value Behaviors (Toolbox) Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover winning your breakup with Natasha Adamo. Natasha is a high-performance coach, relationship coach, speaker, blogger with over two and a half million readers, and the author of Win Your Breakup: How to Be The One That Got Away. Breakups can be painful and get drawn out, so what can you do win your breakup, what does it mean to win, and how can you avoid falling into another toxic relationship? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the signs of toxic relationships? How do you win your breakup? Breaking the Toxic Relationship Cycle – 19:48  How do you break the cycle of jumping from one toxic relationship to another? What signs should you look for in a potential partner? Stay on your white horse after a breakup – 27:20 What steps should you take after a breakup to speed up the recovery process? What should you avoid doing after a breakup if you want to move on? Emotional Entrepreneurship – 45:36 What is an emotional entrepreneur and why are people drawn to emotional entrepreneurs? Winning a breakup is not about getting your ex back. It's about gaining back control of your life and becoming emotionally stronger. So how do you win? You need to understand what it means to win. Identify the signs of toxic relationships, break the cycle of jumping from one toxic relationship to another, and take steps to speed up the recovery process.. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Natasha Adamo’s website Win Your Breakup: How to Be The One That Got Away by Natasha Adamo Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover mental health with Lori Gottlieb. Lori is a psychotherapist in Los Angeles, co-host of the podcast Dear Therapists, and the author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. Mental health is a priority now more than ever, so what are the overlooked signs that someone is struggling with mental health, how do you know if you should talk to a professional, and why is boundary setting crucial to positive mental health? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the overlooked signs that someone is struggling with mental health issues? What is the value in seeing a therapist versus talking to your friends and family about issues you’re experiencing in life? The self-sabotaging stories we tell ourselves – 11:12  Why do we tell ourselves stories about what happens to us and how do those stories have lasting negative impacts on us and the people around us? What impact do the people around us have on our mental health and what can you do if your friends aren’t healthy for you? Setting and maintaining boundaries – 24:24 How do you set boundaries and maintain them with people who constantly violate them?  Finding the right person – 47:05 What is the number one question you should ask yourself when on a first date? Mental health is something many people struggle with, but often don’t talk about. The signs that someone is struggling can be easily overlooked if you’re not aware of them. It’s important to be there for your loved ones and help them get the help they need if you see any of these signs. If you’re experiencing mental health issues, it’s valuable to seek out therapy. Friends and family are great sources of support, but sometimes talking to somebody neutral who isn’t invested in our lives can be really helpful, even lifesaving.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Lori Gottlieb’s website Dear Therapists with Lori Gottlieb and Guy Winch TED Talk: How changing your story can change your life | Lori Gottlieb Overcoming Nice Guy Syndrome | Dr. Robert Glover Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover influence with Zoe Chance. Zoe is a teacher, writer, researcher, climate philanthropist, earned her doctorate from Harvard, teaches Mastering Influence and Persuasion, the most popular class at the Yale School of Management, and is the author of Influence is Your Superpower: The Science of Winning Hearts, Sparking Change, and Making Good Things Happen. Influencing the people around you is a superpower, but how do you develop that ability through your charisma, what common mistakes are you making that kill your charisma, and what is the most important skill you need to influence people?   What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why is your ability to influence others a superpower? What are the three paradoxes of charisma? Anti-charismatic statements – 15:15  What are diminishing statements, why do so many of us use them, and how do they kill your charisma? Charming vs Manipulating – 23:14  How can you tell the difference between people using strategies and tactics to build genuine connections and using them to manipulate others to get what they want? How do you say no if you’re a people pleaser and what can you do to get comfortable with saying no? What does it mean to reframe something? – 32:30 What is reframing and why is it a powerful tool in communication? What is the worst way to try and get someone to see your point of view? The levels of listening – 47:30 What are the 5 levels of listening, and which level is the most important if you’re trying to connect with someone? You have the ability to influence others, and that is a superpower. It’s time to start using your power for good. When you become aware of diminishing statements and how they kill your charisma, you can start reframing your communication in order to build genuine connections with the people around you. With practice, this will become second nature, and you’ll be able to use your newfound superpower for good in all areas of your life. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Influence Is Your Superpower: The Science of Winning Hearts, Sparking Change, and Making Good Things Happen By Zoe Chance Zoe Chance’s website Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success by Adam Grant  Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover metabolic health with Dr Philip Ovadia. Dr. Ovadia is a board certified Cardiac Surgeon, founder of Ovadia Heart Health, and the author of Stay Off My Operating Table: A Heart Surgeon’s Metabolic Health Guide to Lose Weight, Prevent Disease, and Feel Your Best Every Day.  What you put into your body has a direct impact on your metabolic health, but what is metabolic health, why is it important, and what can you do to support a strong metabolic health so you don’t end up on the operating table or in an early grave?  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is metabolic health and how does it impact the other areas of your life including mental health? The big medical myths – 13:17  What is the biggest medical myth that is making us more unhealthy every year? Should we be consuming supplements? How did unhealthy food become so normalized that we serve it in hospitals where we’re supposed to go to get better? The 5 metrics of Metabolic Health – 26:09  What metrics should you and your doctor pay attention to if you want to avoid ending up on the operating table? What is the biggest pitfall of intermittent fasting and what can you do to work around it? Nutrition and Metabolic Health – 35:44 What should you eat to support your metabolic health and what should you avoid? How do nutrition and your metabolic health affect your mental well being? It’s clear that metabolic health is critical for overall well-being. Unfortunately, unhealthy food has become normalized to the point where we are now serving it in hospitals. If you want to avoid ending up on the operating table, make sure you and your doctor are paying attention to the following metrics: fasting blood sugar, blood pressure, cholesterol levels, and waist circumference. To support your metabolic health, make sure you eat plenty of fiber-rich fruits and vegetables and other whole foods. Avoid processed foods high in sugar and seed oils. By making small changes to your diet, you can improve your metabolic health and reduce your risk of developing chronic diseases like heart disease or diabetes. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Dr Ovadia’s website Stay Off My Operating Table Podcast hosted by Dr Ovadia Stay off My Operating Table: A Heart Surgeon’s Metabolic Health Guide to Lose Weight, Prevent Disease, and Feel Your Best Every Day by Dr Ovadia Dr Ovadia on Twitter Why We Get Fat: And What to Do About It by Gary Taubes Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover trust and cooperation with Abbie Maroño. Abbie is the Director of Education at Social-Engineer, is a lecturer in Psychology, has a PhD in Behavior Analysis, was mentored by the body language expert Joe Navarro, and performs academic research specializing in nonverbal communication, trust, and cooperation. Trust is important because our survival depends on our ability to cooperate with the people around us, so why do we place a strong emphasis on competition, what signals should we look for to determine someone’s trustworthiness, and how do we build trust in the first place? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the definition of trust according to modern science? How fast can trust be built and destroyed? The big myth about competition and survival of the fittest – 10:10  What do we get wrong about competition vs cooperation in modern society, and why does this misconception lead to unhappiness and discontent in the workplace? What nonverbal signals should you look for to determine if someone is trustworthy? The trust problem with Zoom and Facetime – 24:52  What 3 common mistakes should you avoid when talking to someone through a video call if you want to build trust and comfort? How does your lower body signal your approachability to the people around you, and how should you be standing if you want to be approachable? How to rebuild trust – 37:48  What is the best way to apologize and rebuild trust after you break it? What are the biggest myths surrounding eye contact and trust? Trust is essential for both our personal and professional lives, but it can be difficult to build and easy to destroy. By understanding the signals we send when it comes to trustworthiness, we can take the necessary steps to build trust or rebuild trust after it’s been broken. And by fostering a cooperative environment, we can create happier relationships and more productive teams.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Abbie Maroño’s website Abbie Maroño on Twitter Abbie Maroño on LinkedIn Joe Navarro | Become an Exceptional Communicator by Mastering These 5 Traits The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals by Charles Darwin Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover negotiation with Barry Nalebuff. Barry is a Professor at Yale where he has taught negotiation, innovation, strategy, and game theory for thirty years, and recently authored Split the Pie: A Radical New Way to Negotiate, which is based on his negotiation course. Negotiating can be intimidating if you don’t do it on a regular basis, so what simple tips can you remember to make your next negotiation a win, how do you negotiate with people who are clearly more experienced than you, and what is the best question to ask when negotiating your salary? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What’s the difference between Split the Pie and Never Split the Difference? How to negotiate with unfair people – 10:55  What can you do to negotiate with people who don’t care about fairness? How can you “be ready to walk away” from a once-in-a-lifetime deal? Dealing with people who don’t see the win-win outcome – 21:10  How do we use empathy to get the other person’s perspective and come up with a deal that satisfies both parties? How much information should you disclose in a negotiation if you’re worried the information might be used against you? How to build your negotiation skills – 35:30  What can you do to develop your negotiation skills? How can you get the other party to see the pie you’re negotiating over? What advice should you avoid when negotiating? Negotiate the salary you deserve – 44:08 What questions can you ask so you know how to ask for the best compensation package without losing the offer? It is important to remember that the goal of any negotiation should be a mutually beneficial agreement, aka the pie. Both parties need to feel like they’ve won something and achieved their goals in order for negotiations to be successful. If you can walk into a negotiation with empathy and an understanding of the other person’s perspective, you’re already on your way to building better skills. What have been your biggest challenges when negotiating? Let us know in the comments below. We would love to help! A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Split the Pie by Barry Nalebuff Co-Opetition by Barry Nalebuff Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the brain with Lisa Barrett, PhD. Lisa is among the top one percent most cited scientists in the world for her revolutionary research in psychology and neuroscience, and is the author of the best-selling Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain. As we learn more about the brain we realize how mistaken we once were, so what have we been getting wrong about the brain, what have we learned, and how can you use that information to eliminate the unhelpful patterns and bad habits holding you back from living a fulfilling life? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Where did the myth about the lizard brain come from and why is it such a popular belief? Moving beyond the Lizard Brain – 10:47  What is the correct way to think about the conflict between rationality and what we mistakenly believe is the lizard brain so we can work toward becoming the people we want to be? How is our brain functionality connected to our metabolism and how can you use that information to increase your brain’s performance and longevity? Busting the Memory Myth – 26:10  How do our memories influence the way we operate in life and what can you do to overwrite old patterns that aren’t helping you anymore? How does your metabolism Do we have control over our actions? – 35:10  How does your body react to things before you are consciously aware of them and how can you use that to recognize unhelpful patterns? What can you do to deconstruct unhelpful patterns and habits, and make it easier to build healthier habits? Why does anxiety make things harder? – 43:30 What can you do to make it easier to do things that would normally cause you a lot of stress and anxiety? How do our brains wire to connect and influence the brains of the people we interact with? Science has shown us that our words and behavior have a measurable impact on the health of people around us. This means if we want to have a positive impact on those we care about, it’s crucial that we are thoughtful and intentional when interacting with others. Be mindful of the words you use, the eye contact you make, the body language you use, and how you treat people. Every person you influence will in turn influence you, so if you want to live in a positive, supporting environment, make sure you are treating others with love, respect, and encouragement. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Lisa Barrett’s website Seven And A Half Lessons About The Brain by Lisa Barrett How Emotions are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain by Lisa Barrett Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover low value behavior with AJ and Johnny. We all exhibit low value behavior that can push people away from us, so what are low value behaviors, what makes us exhibit low value behavior, and what can you do to stop these low value behaviors from destroying friendships and relationships? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are low value behaviors, how do they push people away from us, and how can you notice them so you stop exhibiting them? Why do low value behaviors make it difficult to create lasting friendships and relationships? Why do we need attention, approval, and acceptance? – 14:20  What do we need from other humans to feel safe and why does every human need it? How does your childhood shape the way you seek out value in the world and what can you do if your childhood influenced you to exhibit a lot of low value behaviors? How to Identify Low Value Behaviors – 24:27  What is the difference between a high value person and a low value person? What is supplicative behavior and what are some examples so you can make sure you don’t exhibit supplicative behavior? When is being agreeable considered low value behavior? Combative Behavior – 43:02  Why is it low value behavior to be argumentative and confrontational? What are the verbal and nonverbal signals of combative behavior? The Third Low Value Behavior – 50:05 When is it low value behavior to be competitive? What is it about these low value behaviors that repel high value people from your life and what can you shift to high value behavior instead? One of the worst blindspots people have in social situations is the way we go about satisfying our need for attention, approval, and acceptance. And we refer to attention, approval, and acceptance as value. We all have a need for value whether you like it or not. The difference between low value people and high value people is the way they go about getting that value. Low value people beg for it, fight you for it, and compete with you for it. High value people simply recognize their own value and seek to highlight the value in the people around them.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Mira Kirshenbaum | The Biggest Myth About Arguments Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover passive communication with Dr Robert Glover. Robert is an internationally recognized authority on the Nice Guy Syndrome, has helped thousands of nice guys transform from being passive, resentful victims to empowered, integrated males, and is the author of No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan For Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life. Trying to be the nice guy is a fatal step many men take to get what they want out of life, but what makes being a nice guy so bad, how can you identify your nice guy tendencies, and what can you do to get what you want without being a jerk? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is Nice Guy Syndrome and why is being a nice guy (or nice girl) counterproductive to getting what you want out of life? Does Nice Guy Syndrome also apply to women? Being a Nice Guy makes people like you less – 13:30  Why does being a nice guy lead people to trust you less and like you less, and what should you do instead? Why do Nice Guys seem inauthentic and untrustworthy? The Covert Contracts of Nice Guys – 19:38  What are the three secret contracts Nice Guys have with other people and why are these contracts harmful to them and their relationships? Identify Relationships that are not serving you – 32:34  What are Cooperative Reciprocal Relationships and what exercise can you do now to understand what relationships are not helping you and what relationships you should add to your life? Setting Boundaries and Expressing Your Desires – 44:25 What can you do if you know you should set boundaries but aren’t sure how to set them or defend them when people around you push back? If you feel shame related to your sexual desires, what can you do to work through it and develop a healthy relationship with your needs and wants, as well as expressing them confidently instead of hiding them? Being a nice guy sounds like a good idea, doesn’t it? Why would it be a bad thing? Turns out, when a man is trying to be a nice guy, it almost always means he’s not being authentic. Many times, a nice guy is nice because he thinks that’s what other people want him to be. He thinks being nice will result in people liking him and treating him better and sleeping with him. Instead, people see the niceness as a facade masking his true intentions and feelings. This makes him untrustworthy and unlikable. People respect and are drawn to others who are comfortable being themselves and being honest with the people around them. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Dr. Robert Glover’s website No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the art of insubordination with Todd Kashdan. Todd is among the world’s top experts on the psychology of well-being, psychological strengths, mental agility, and social relationships.  Being a dissenter in today’s society is hard, but it is more important now than ever, so what can you do to raise questions about problems you see without being silenced, and how can you get your message across so people rally behind you instead of condemn you? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the art of insubordination and why should you care? Why is it important to have a public square where people can meet and exchange ideas? The crucial importance of a clear consistent message – 12:07  If political polarization isn’t our biggest issue in society, what is and how do we overcome it? How does technology speed up how quickly we self-segregate and isolate ourselves from different ideas and why is this dangerous to society? Why does the use of labels get us into trouble and how do we overcome the stigma of labels? Why We Must Understand the Art of Insubordination – 25:17  Why is the act of dissent important? What can you do to persuade friends and family when you are a dissenter? How can you introduce dissent into the mainstream without getting canceled? How to be a Principled Rebel in Modern Society – 35:12 What does it mean to be a principled rebel and why does every society need principled rebels? What is the best way to get your message across if you are part of a struggling minority influence? Why do we need to expose ourselves to ideas that run counter to our own beliefs and worldview? Dissenting is about more than just holding ideas and beliefs counter to mainstream thought. You must be willing to get involved in mainstream conversations, listen to what people have to say, and provide a legitimate path forward so people can see where your ideas lead. This allows them to be more comfortable following your ideas and handling any discomfort that might come from trying to change their worldview and the world around them. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog w,hen you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Todd Kashdan’s website The Art of Insubordination: how to dissent & defy effectively Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover leadership and decision-making with David Siegel. David is the CEO of Meetup, the largest platform for finding and building local communities, and the author of Decide & Conquer: 44 Decisions that will Make or Break All Leaders. Success is determined by the decisions you make and the people you surround yourself with, so how can you know when you’re making the right decision for your future, what can you do to surround yourself with people who will help you create success, and how do you maintain firm boundaries along the way? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What does it take to be the CEO of a great company like Meetup and how can you apply that knowledge to your own goals? Build a powerful network like a CEO – 19:28 What can you do to build a network that will get you to the next level of your career? How do you create luck in your life so more and more opportunities present themselves to you? What can you do to set firm boundaries as you become more successful? Navigate difficult conversations with ease – 38:14 When is the right time to have a difficult conversation and what can you do to make difficult conversations easier? How do you move your ego out of the way so it doesn’t sabotage your success as a leader? Build a thriving company culture – 49:03 What can you do to foster a company culture that is open to change and willing to cooperate on effecting change? What’s next for Meetup? CEOs know the importance of having a powerful network and tough decision-making. It’s what gets them through difficult conversations and allows them to build a thriving company culture. But, it doesn’t happen overnight. You have to be intentional about who you connect with and how you engage with them if you want to reap the benefits. What are some things you can do this week to start building your own powerful CEO-style network and decision-making framework? A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode The fall of WeWork’s Adam Neumann Decide and Conquer: 44 Decisions that will Make or Break All Leaders MeetUp Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover setting boundaries with Nedra Tawwab. Nedra is a licensed therapist, sought-after relationship expert who has practiced relationship therapy for 14 years, and author of the instant New York Times bestseller “Set Boundaries, Find Peace”. Boundaries are a challenging concept to implement for many, but it can be simplified once you understand them, so what are boundaries, what does it mean to communicate and defend your boundaries, and how do you handle situations where people are repeatedly crossing your boundaries? What to Listen For Introduction to Boundaries – 0:00 Why did Nedra Tawwab write a book on boundaries? Why is boundary setting pushed out of us as children only to be demanded of us as adults, and what can you do to reclaim your ability to set boundaries so you can avoid unhealthy relationships? What does it mean to set a boundary and how do you know when you should set a boundary? Respecting Your Boundaries – 11:00  What should you say if you need to back out of a commitment? Should you feel bad about backing out of a commitment? What leads someone to ghost you and how should you handle it? Building & Defending Your Boundaries – 24:50  What should you say if someone disrespects your boundary? How do you set new boundaries with someone? What can you do to show up for your team while setting healthy boundaries so you can get your work done? Healthy vs Unhealthy Consequences for Boundaries – 34:40  How do you know when a relationship should end if the other person keeps crossing your boundaries? How do you handle family members who are unwilling or unable to respect your boundaries? Boundaries are important because they allow us to build healthy relationships with people who respect us as individuals. If you don’t communicate to someone what it means to respect you and treat you well, you’re gambling on their ability to read your mind. I don’t know any mind readers so I’d call that a bad gamble. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Nedra Tawwab on Instagram Nedra Tawwab’s website Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Tawwab Set Boundaries Workbook Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover procrastination and perfectionism with Jennifer Kemp. Jennifer is a leading expert on perfectionism and builds flexibility and self-compassion when working with therapeutic clients. Many of us experience perfectionism in different ways but they all hold us back from where we want to be, so what are the different ways perfectionism shows up in your life, what are the warning signs your perfectionism is unhealthy, and what can you do to overcome your perfectionism?   What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is unhelpful perfectionism and how is it different from the perfectionism we understand today? What 4 signs can you look for to identify whether your perfectionism is healthy or not?   The importance of adapting vs perfecting – 13:40  How does the pursuit of perfection lead to less progression when you’re trying to learn or improve a skill? What classes can you take to improve your conversational ability, sense of humor, and perfectionism?   What makes Art of Charm training programs so effective – 25:39  How do AoC alumni maintain their development after the program so they don’t fall back into their old behavior? How does skill development become self-reinforcing so it feels fun rather than a lot of work?   The warning signs of perfectionism – 39:20  How is perfectionism linked to other mental health issues and how can you identify them? What exercises can you do if you’re struggling with a harsh inner critic?   Is perfectionism keeping you from the success you’re after? You’re not alone. Perfectionism can show up in your life in several ways, including procrastination. Perfectionism can be a strength when it helps you create quality results, but it’s not doing you any favors if it stops you from taking action.    A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!   Resources from this Episode Jennifer Kemp’s website The ACT Workbook for Perfectionism   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover being an awesome human with Nataly Kogan. Nataly is a former writer for Verywell Mind, the co-founder and CEO of Happier, a leading wellness company on a mission to make millions of people happier, and the author of The Awesome Human Project.   Burnout can be a deadly trap you don’t recognize until the damage is done, so what can you do to avoid it (and still be successful), how does perfectionism make it worse, and how do you find your “why” so you can push through tough times and criticism?    What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are some obvious signs of burnout? What is the biggest lie entrepreneurs and leaders tell themselves to keep pushing through burn out?   Be an Awesome Human – 12:47  How do you edit your thoughts to help you be the best version of yourself? What two questions can you ask yourself to edit your thoughts and stop your mind from sabotaging your work, relationships, and goals? What does it mean to treat yourself with compassion and why do we ALL need to treat ourselves with more compassion?   Perfectionism is the Enemy of Completion – 31:00  How can you reframe perfectionism so it doesn’t stop you from finishing what you start and putting your work out there for others to enjoy? Why is it detrimental to your success to value every piece of criticism you receive?   Find your “why” and flourish in any job – 41:31  Why is it important to know your “why” when it comes to long term success and fulfillment in any line of work? What is emotional fitness, why is it just as important as physical fitness, and how do you develop it?   It’s easy to undervalue our physical and mental needs when pursuing ambitious goals. You can get lost in devoting countless hours to building a company and push aside physical exercise because it takes time away from the company. You can get lost in spending all of your free time at the gym and push aside quality sleep because “sleep is for the weak.” But we tend to forget the only reason we can do any of these things is because we have one precious life to work with.    A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.   Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!   Resources from this Episode Nataly Kogan’s website The Awesome Human Project by Nataly Kogan Awesome Human Hour hosted by Nataly Kogan   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover happiness with Arthur C. Brooks. Arthur is a professor at the Harvard Kennedy School and Harvard Business School, and is the author of 12 books, including the national bestsellers “Love Your Enemies” and “The Conservative Heart”, and his newest title “From Strength to Strength”. Happiness and meaning are two things we all want but many of us follow the wrong paths to find them, so how do you figure out what the correct path is and how do you find meaning in a world that is focused on satisfying superficial desires? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the ultimate secret to happiness according to science? What are the 4 disciplines exhibited by happy people on a daily basis that you can start implementing today? How can you get the benefits of religious faith & community if organized religion isn’t your thing? Achievement does not equal Fulfillment – 14:19 Why do some of the most successful people on the planet feel empty and alone? Why do many of us reach a point in our careers when we feel we’ve peaked and what can you do to keep excelling in your profession beyond that point? What is success addiction, how do we fall into it, and what can you do to kick the addiction if you find yourself addicted to success? Strive for fulfillment instead of achievement – 29:10 What should we be pursuing if our current goals of money, power, fame, and pleasure are leading us to feel unhappy, alone, and empty? Why is school/education not the answer if you’re looking for more meaning in life, and what are we looking for when we think school is the answer? How are music and other creative pursuits related to our ability to find fulfillment and happiness? Everyday the world tries to convince us the path to happiness and fulfillment is traversed by spending money on a product or service. We are made to think being famous will lead to fulfillment and love. We mistakenly believe having more power and control over the world around us will lead to feeling complete and accomplished. The funny thing about happiness and fulfillment is they are found in the simple things that do not require significant sums of money: loving the people around you, wanting and needing less, having strong spiritual beliefs, and doing work that is a service to others. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Arthur C. Brooks’s website From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life by Arthur C. Brooks Dr. Judson Brewer | Unwinding Anxiety Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover neuroticism with Dr. Taylor Burrowes. Taylor received her PhD in Marriage and Family Counseling, is a retired mental health counselor and marriage & family therapist, and now works independently. Like mental health in general, we all fall somewhere on a spectrum of neuroticism, so how can you notice when you’re exhibiting neurotic behavior and what can you do to make sure it doesn’t ruin your relationships? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is neuroticism and how does it show up in all of us? Who is Dr Taylor Burrowes? The signs of neuroticism – 15:18 How are restlessness and neuroticism connected and how can you identify when restlessness is leading you to make poor decisions? Why are pauses important in conversation when you’re speaking to one person or an audience? What can you do to stop overthinking from ruining your relationships while still allowing it to help you in areas like work? How does neuroticism influence your social development – 33:36 Why is overthinking detrimental to your ability to be seen as authentic and build relationships? Why is coaching so important when it comes to developing your social skills? Why do we jump to conclusions that often have no evidence supporting them and how can we stop doing it? What causes you to experience neurotic behavior – 52:20 What are the root causes of the neurotic behavior we all experience at times and what can you do about it? We’re all a little bit crazy, and that’s ok. Neuroticism shows up in all of us in several ways including restlessness, overthinking, and jumping to conclusions. It can get in the way of healthy relationships, especially for men, because neuroticism conveys a lack of confidence in who you are. Once you can recognize neurotic behaviors, you can remind yourself it’s important to not act on them. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Dr Taylor Burrowes’s website Dr Taylor Burrowes on Twitter 10 ways neuroticism shows up in men and what to do about it | YouTube The Vetting System by Dr. Taylor Burrowes The 4 Stress Languages | YouTube Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover regret with Daniel Pink. Daniel is the author of several New York Times bestsellers, including Drive and To Sell is Human, and his newest book, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward. To have freedom of choice means we will experience regret, so what can you do to have a healthy relationship with your regrets, and how can you look at regret moving forward so you make the decisions that will lead to the least amount of regret? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the best way to motivate a team working on a long term project? What is the single biggest motivator in someone’s day-to-day work and how can you use that to increase your productivity and your team’s productivity? What question can you ask to get unstuck when you’re not sure how to proceed in work and life? Is it possible to live life without any regrets – 13:19 Why is it actually unhealthy to try to live without regrets and what benefit do regrets serve us? What is the difference between regret and rumination and why can one be good for you but not the other? What are the four categories of regrets? How do you know when you should reach out to someone you’ve lost touch with? How to use regret in a meaningful way – 38:00 What strategies can you use to develop a healthy relationship with your regrets so they don’t stop you from enjoying life and becoming successful? Why is self-compassion important for neutralizing the harmful effects of regrets? Regrets can suck, but there are a variety of ways to reframe regret and develop a healthy relationship with it so it guides you rather than torments you. When we feel regret over a decision we made, it’s important to spend time understanding why you feel that regret. Then think about the next time that decision might have to be made and commit to making it. Write it down. Tell your friends so they can hold you accountable if possible. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Daniel Pink’s website Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover breaking the ice with AJ, Johnny, and Michael Herold. Why is breaking the ice an important skill, what impact does it have on your health, and what strategies can you use to make breaking the ice easy and effective? What to Listen For Breaking the ice and your health – 0:00 Why should we be engaging in more small talk and why is it dangerous to our mental and physical health to spend too much time alone? What is the first obvious signal that loneliness is your new normal and what can you do to break out of that cycle? Make small talk more effective – 20:18 Why are witty one-liners ineffective at breaking the ice and what should you say instead? What questions should you avoid when meeting someone for the first time, and what questions should you ask instead? What is the easiest way to revive a conversation if you feel like it’s dying or getting awkward? Break the ice MORE OFTEN! – 30:58 How should we be looking at breaking the ice and small talk if we want more opportunities, more friends, and a more fulfilling life? How do you break the ice with someone wearing headphones? Why is making small talk important if you have goals and dreams you want to accomplish in life? It’s easy for us introverts to dismiss small talk and interactions with strangers as a waste of time. What’s the point, right? The problem with this mentality is that it ignores our human nature. We are social creatures, and as social creatures our mental and physical health will suffer if we are isolated from our tribe. That is one reason being exiled from the tribe used to be the ultimate punishment as life without the support of your fellow tribesmen surely meant death in the wild. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Is Efficiency Overrated?: Minimal Social Interactions Lead to Belonging and Positive Affect Art of Charm Ice Breaker Cheat Sheet Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices