You talk a lot of a witness. If there is no separate self or part of us that is separate, isn’t a witness only another creation of the mind? How can we be a witness to feelings, thoughts or behaviours and be present and whole in the moment? Wouldn’t it mean that when we’re witnessing, we’re creating separation within ourselves?

The topic of calling in sick at work more than other people do.. Followed by guilt, and waiting for annoyed reactions of the people who get affected by this. Today I am sick for the second time this month. I called in sick, got an annoyed reply and started to be scared about not being good enough, eventually loosing my job and everyone gossiping about me. All those thoughts about am I just too weak, should I pull myself together and go there anyways, started showing up. And I don't know what to do with all this thinking.What am I not seeing here?

Doing the thing - part 2 

How to navigate? 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Its-not-you-its-break-ups-ebook/dp/B0BGCZDS7G/ref=sr_1_11?crid=OD7UFJ9EO5C3&keywords=clare+dimond&qid=1664185132&sprefix=%2Caps%2C147&sr=8-11

A rat in a maze is free to go anywhere, as long as it stays inside the maze.Margaret Atwood

Hi Clare,I have a question about the 'do the thing' thing.😂This is quite a topic at the moment in the group and also you mentioned it in one Play video again in the context of looking for a good feeling. I get the concept intellectually, and I also 'do the thing' for many years now, about seven or so, I feel the sensations, survive the thing, and on it goes again. Next time: same debilitating symptoms, same freeze, nausea, not being able to concentrate on anything else, like the life is on hold until it's over. So maybe you say that I want it to go away: Yes I do! How could I not, it's such an intense suffering, I would also remove my hand from a hot stove and not put it again and again and again back for years. As a biological system we are wired to avoid pain, so it seems to me unavoidable to want it to go away. I still face it when it's there and want it to go away at the same time.Ironically not doing the thing doesn't feel right eather. So tricky. I could easily stop but for some weird reason I just don't. And when the next offer comes, yes is beeing said, although I wanted to not accept those offers anymore.It seems like a lifelong sentence to suffering.What I am not seeing?Thank you for any thoughts. 

Is what we are talking about dangerous? 

Dear ClareI wonder if you could shed some light on the area of indecisiveness. I have been in a relationship for around 18 months  and for about the last 6 months am unsure whether to continue with it or not. I seem to change my mind on this constantly. It’s a push pull feeling and I watch my mind go back and forward with the dilemma. I am going around in circles and I feel like I am 50/50 and unable to decide. It feels quite unfair on my partner as he can sense me pulling away or having cold feet about our relationship and then other times I am open and loving -  understandably it’s confusing and difficult for him to be in a relationship with someone who’s not sure about him.   I’d be really grateful if you could speak to what’s really going on here around being stuck with indecision.Thank you Clare

A brief summary of this episode

A quick report. I have listened to snippets of Play and some of this weeks webinar. It’s all been too much to take on. I have had a deadline to meet this month ending next Friday. Completing paintings for an exhibition. I’ve been overwhelmed and gripped by fear. Im “trying” to remain calm and feel comfortable with being in the space where I am feeling shaken, swamped and inadequate. Completing tasks fills me with dread, navigating things to do in a timeline is a crushing stress. All I want to do is disengage. Play is at the end of a long dark tunnel, unreachable.  I guess it’s a blessing that all this is coming up. 

I seem to have got myself to a point where I am asking myself, simply...what is the purpose of life?  Why bother?  If all I am is awareness, what is the point? Why put up with the hassle of everyday existence?  I'm alive now, doing what I do, then at some point, I won't be! It's inevitable.  People come, people go.  In amongst all the emotions of the Queen's dying, I was prompted to look up an old friend on the internet.  We were VERY close between my marriages, so about 21 years ago.  We didn't stay in contact but I sometimes wondered what she was up to, how she was getting on etc. I'd had no contact since she called me out of the blue about 17 years ago to let me know her mum had died.  So my google search led me to find out that my friend had actually died in 2012.  In my mind, she had been alive until two weeks ago, but in reality, had been gone for more than 10 years. It really hit me for six.  I was shocked, sad, and even felt a bit guilty (no reason I should feel guilty, but we were like soul-mates for a while). She was 53 or 54 years old...way too young. I've since learned that she went into a spiral of depression after her mum's death and died of alcohol-related illness.  Two weeks later I'm still trying to understand. When I knew her she was full of life. Vibrant.The life and soul of the party. Now she isn't anything but a memory.So I'm questioning what it's all about.  What, really, is the point of my being here? Even if I get to the point of enlightenment, so what?Any thoughts?p.s. I'm not feeling depressed. Definitely not suicidal. Just at a loss as to the 'why' of it all.

Many spiritual people are involved in a radical denial of what is happening. They want to transcend it, get rid of it, get out of it, get away from it. There's nothing wrong with that feeling, but the approach doesn't work because it's escapism in spiritual clothing. It's wearing spiritual clothing and spiritual concepts, but it is really no different than a drunk in the gutter who doesn't want to feel the pain anymore. When you abide and accept everything completely and fully, you automatically go beyond.Adyashanti

Thank you for all your amazing courses.  I continue to listen and learn every day and am finding what you teach invaluable in so many ways. I was listening to your podcast a couple of days ago entitled 'resistance, acceptance and choice' and the idea of ultimate accountability resonates with me (this also links with the story you told about the young girl working with Byron Katie who said her Dad bullied her. Byron Katie asked the girl that if her father was holding a gun to her head and said 'clean the shoes or be shot' and the girl chooses to be shot, who really pulled the trigger?  Byron Katie says, the girl.   So I'm intrigued by ultimate accountability/responsibility. My question is, can this be applied to any situation?  Say for example, a young person comes to me to say they are being bullied. If we explore what the young person's options are to try and resolve the situation and it comes to light that there are options that they haven't fully considered or followed through on, can it be right to say that the young person is choosing to be bullied?  And what if they have explored all of their options and there is still bullying happening? And then there's the part of exploring with the young person where they too might be displaying bullying behaviour somewhere in their life towards someone/something else. (the inner reflecting outwards). It feels harsh to suggest all this to a vulnerable young person, but at the same time, if this is their route to truth and freedom then it needs to be spoken. 

If there is no doer how does anything get done? And why do you suggest doing things like therapy or no-brainers. 

Resistance, acceptance and choice

In the 3 principles understanding, it's seen we feel our thinking in the moment - is this also part of your teaching and if it isn't what do you see that's different? Thank you.

I have a question about today’s podcast (Friday 16th Sept)What you said is so true, I love it. The only thing not clear is what you mean when you say ‚remove or put in the barriers‘. I sounds to me like you need willpower and effort to do that. If we could just remove the barriers we would have done it long ago. My personal experience with food and exercise and substances is, when you fully feel the effects it has on the system the behavior changes by itself over time. You don’t have to remove or put in anything, you just do it or don’t do it anymore. Happened to me with several things from alcohol to fast food to other substances. Is that what you mean by removing the barriers or something else? I would love to hear a clarification. Thank you for reading 🙏

There’s no such thing as overreacting; it’s just that what someone is reacting to may no longer be what’s in front of them.Terrence Real

We’ll continue to lose what completes us until we realise we are already complete. That’s what pain teaches you— that you’ll always have a wound when your wholeness depends on another… and your love will always be conditional when it comes with the condition that you are incomplete without them. Mark Groves

A brief summary of this episode

The body 

Sorry for asking this again, you have spoken so much about this and still it‘s not really clear here what you mean by no self accountability. The no self part seems clear, there is no doer, life just lives and expresses through us shaped by our individual systems build of many things like genetics and conditioning. Maybe this already is wrong?So what is the accountability part besides noticing what happens and acknowledging it happens in this unit. If I follow the logic even if there is noticing or acknowledging happens or not, so there is no one deciding to notice etc.  If there is no doer, what is accountable for anything and what decides to be? It seems accountability just happens or not. Can we call it accountability then?Sorry for this chaotic explanation, even formulating the question is not clear. I hope I could make myself a bit understandable. Happy for any thoughts. 

I am a little hesitant to ask this question as I suspect that I am not going to like the answer, but here goes anyway….I was raised in a family that was very ‘reserved’ we did not raise our voices, express emotions openly, disagree with anyone in public etc.Of-course I married someone who’s family is quite the opposite ,lots of arguments, yelling, cutting off relationships over minor disagreements etc.At first I found this quite refreshing and if I were to be honest, was quite intrigued and enjoyed the drama.That novelty has now worn off and I find myself being resentful of the amount of time and energy that is spent, caught  in the middle of all this conflict.I have been looking at where I do the same thing as well as sitting in the suffering and although this has been so helpful in almost every other relationship I have. I am stuck on this one. HELP. I just find myself wanting to avoid family get togethers or if I attend find a way to distract myself or withdraw from the conversations. Is there ever a time when it is better to just avoid/walk away from the whole situation?Thank you,Loads of love as always, (even if you send me back in)

I am at an in-between stage in my life, retiring from a very fulfilling and fun career as a veterinarian and looking at what is next for me.I feel I am in a place where I would like to make some kind of contribution to this world of chaos that seems to be ramping up, yet am hesitant to jump into  trying to 'fix the world’  out there that is just made up of my projections.I  do not have many limitations or restrictions on what I could do but as a result feel somewhat overwhelmed by the courses/choices/options available.Do you have any suggestions about how to go about finding the ‘right’ thing to do?

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What makes us ready for enlightenment? 

I developed a connection with someone on a similar inner exploration some time ago, which turned into quite a deep relationship as we both shared vulnerabilities. In this 'inner adventure' on my part there have been revelations around deep-seated people pleasing tendencies which may well have begun in childhood, but no longer feel in alignment with the truth of what I am. The relationship with this person began to shift over time and I became aware of an intensity that sometimes felt uncomfortable and the boundaries felt a bit off. It felt appropriate to distance myself and this resulted in what looked like hurt behaviour from the other person, manifesting with some aggression. There was an immediate rush of fear with me and a sense that I'd been very naive to be so open and trusting and there was a capacity to see in me a tendency to become self-critical and apportion blame. The other person chose to block me on social channels, which appeared to come from a rational, loving place. It was a relief and something I didn't seem to have the courage to do as I was fearful of how it would be received. I see here a strong sense of responsibility for hurting that person, but also an instinctive desire to protect myself and not to accept a relationship dynamic that feels like it compromises healthy boundaries. There is still unease and lots of mixed emotions (and sometimes fearful thoughts and dreams) about this person as they seem to linger in my consciousness, as if there is some unresolved hurt. When I return to 'being' there is a quiet knowing of safety, wellbeing and empathy, but this often is at odds with a psychological self which feels afraid. It's hard to have clarity in these moments, though I see that allowing the feelings is safe and healing seems to come from breathing into this and seeing my own hurt, resentment and fear in the projections of the other - and finding incredible grace (and catharsis) in honouring the little girl in me who is so afraid. I'd love your perspective on this.

Thanks for your response to my email.  I had a good week last week.  I seemed to have dropped into a space where all there really was was 'right here, right now' and not much else.  For whatever reason, it was almost like my unhelpful thinking just wasn't 'taking hold', wasn't sticking.  Fear thoughts just passed by without anything grabbing onto them.  It felt like I couldn't have 'terrorised myself' even if I'd wanted to.  And all with little or no effort. Then, after a boozy night on Saturday everything seems to have fallen apart again.  Feels like almost back to square one.  Yesterday was a constant battle to 'just be in the body and feel whatever comes up without judging'.  I was like a cat on a hot tin roof.  Today I'm not a lot better either even though I had an alcohol free night ( I sound like a right old boozer, but the reality is that I only drink at the weekends and have no issue not drinking.  The point is that if I'm prone to occasionally getting a taste for it and overindulging when I do drink - then I feel toxic the next day and the impact is even more psychological than physical).  I should say that when this happened I didn't fall out with anyone, upset anyone or do anything that could have made me feel guilty. Just me feeling crap after one too many.I'm not sure how I get back to that place of clarity.  On the one hand I know that it's there, because I've experienced it. On the other it's clear that at the moment it is easily lost.  Feeling a bit discouraged.

I always begin my day with your podcast so yesterday I was delighted to receive the response to my question about game 1 and 2 right after I sent it Thank you!Today I listened to your podcast about discomfort and projections, all making sense (today anyway)My question is, does this ’sitting in the feeling’ hold true for all suffering?What about seemingly simple and somewhat ridiculous reactions for example getting mad about being cut off in traffic?I don’t want to over analyse my life but also don’t want to miss out on or write off opportunities to heal.

I've just listened to your podcast 'Capacity'.  You were speaking about projections as not being true.  I understand that what's happening right now is all there is and anything else is imagination.  My body holds a lot of contraction and sometimes the mind gets involved as well.  It seems like my projections always do come true though so it's hard not to see what's going to happen as being close and often worse than what my mind cooks up.  My brain is now wired for this. When you talk about 'getting still' do you mean that literally as in I should sit down, be quiet and feel what needs to be felt.  The dread never goes away and I'm always in the 'face the fear and do it anyways' program, so capacity or not it's in my face and has to be done.Thanks Clare❤❤❤

I listened to your podcasts on August 31 and Sept 1 (parts 1 ad 2) and they make complete sense to me and I have had significant changes occur in my relationships as a result of willing to sit in the suffering rather than point my finger out there at ’the problem’My question is around you saying that telling people to ‘find a nice feeling’ is not helpful and could be harmful (as I understand it) How is it that so many people seem to have life changing realisations from simply hearing that and so may (long time) 3P teachers mostly emphasise that as the foundation of their teaching? Sounds a lot easier than what we are doing?

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Why would I put myself through that? (Super power part 2) 

Your super power

What other people think

Being wrong

Unwanted emotions 

Well, what an interesting 24 hours!  Yesterday was really rough.  I think I was a bit toxic from too much wine at the weekend, but also my mind was sooooo full on that it was like torture.  Trying to organise a hospital appointment too, had me (not quite literally) curled up in a corner shaking.This morning though I felt so much better.  I'd rehydrated and slept great. I was listening to the subliminals and just watching what was going on with thoughts and feelings.  Lots of the same old controlling thinking. Some full on and in your face...direct.  Some a little bit more insidious...trying to sneak in with a benign thought which then led me back down the resisting path again.  Anyway, focusing on the gap between thoughts, I realised that I had a feeling of what I can only call JOY bubbling up.  I've had that before on occasion, but what I'd not seen/realised was thought's response to it was quite brutal.  It was like I was somehow supressing the feeling because it was scary.  I'd be out of control if it let it really take shape and explode.  Thinking creeps in and thoughts of embarrassment and shame appear.  I can only describe it as like trying to stifle an orgasm due to shame (if that makes any sense at all).  A massive energetic feeling arises but the feeling of being out of control joyful was just too scary.  In writing this I'm smiling because I was going to say...'who am I to experience this joy and freedom', but then realising that this was the real me that I have been suppressing all my life.  I realised too that watching my wife's unbridled joy at greeting friends and being in the moment has always felt uncomfortable to me.  I've been very suppressed. Locked down.Not sure that this makes any sense at all?

Identity under threat

Why bother exploring what is real? 

A brief summary of this episode

Super on edge today.  I feel like my mind is in overdrive and am trying to concentrate on the physical sensation.  I've been reading the book you mentioned on the Sunday podcast 'conversations on non-duality' and I keep seeing the word 'constriction'.  That very much feels like the physical sensation I keep getting in waves.  I have a thought, immediately followed by a sensation which I just try to 'be with/experience without judgement'.  It will dissipate, then some time afterwards it will come again.  It's like it's a thought that is really fighting to be responded to or fixed. It feels hugely unpleasant but I'm trying to just be aware of what the sensation is rather than trying to do anything about it.

'What is your enlightenment experience?' listener question

I've been listening to the subliminals daily since receiving them and am up to about 30 mins a day with them.  I'm also continuing my reading and watching of books and videos on Non-duality.  I've finished your book, Home, and have also finished Tony Parsons The Open Secret, plus Ruper Spira's You Are The Happiness You Seek.  And I'm also dipping into the 26 conversation book you recommended last week.Perhaps I'm overdoing it and trying to force the penny dropping, but I just feel confused and overwhelmed.  I have brief moments of clarity, but otherwise it's just a fog.  Maybe because of the language that is being used to explain the inexplicable?  The best way I can describe it is that I feel like I'm a millimetre away from 'getting it', but may as well be a thousand miles. Dead frustrating.Any thoughts?

"Reality is nothing but a Rorschach ink blot, you know" Alan Watts. "Reality is an illusion. Albeit a persistent one." Albert Einstein. Wonderful Words