Today’s topic is exciting: toxic masculinity, which might be better termed “functional masculinity.” I’m joined by Alex Frankel, who grew up in San Francisco clearly understanding that the definition of hotness was dictated by beautiful people in popular magazines. During his entire childhood, he felt trapped in his fat body and hated how he looked. He finally realized that being hot was more than perfect abs and bulging biceps but more of an attitude. Alex is now a successful plus-size model, and he’s a body-acceptance advocate and role model for fat guys all around the world. He created the Hot Fat Guy Club to dispel the myths around diet, culture, fatphobia, and other fat people stereotypes. His goal was to create a welcoming community where people are celebrated and not shamed for their body types. Why do I love this topic? It’s because men are not often talked about in the body positivity movement. Join us for a new perspective from a Hot Fat Guy!   Show Highlights: ●      An overview of Dr. Ronald Levant’s Seven Tenets of Traditional Masculine Ideology ●      Where the problem of masculinity originates because of deeply entrenched patriarchy, traditional masculine values, programming, and gender policing ●      Fascinating trends in how young boys and girls segregate themselves until puberty hits ●      Why Alex believes a lack of empathy and respect for other human beings are core issues with today’s masculinity ●      How we are taught the power differential by society around relationships and rejection ●      How programmed traditional masculinity can be dormant until it flares up later in life ●      The link between church and religious propaganda and traditional masculinity ●      Why men have been programmed by traditional masculinity around vulnerability and feeling shame in showing emotions ●      Three things to note around weaponized vulnerability, emotional safety, and caring feelings ●      An example about the inability to express or understand emotions Resources and Links:  Connect with Alex Frankel and the Hot Fat Guy Club: TikTok and Instagram Mentioned in this episode: Therapy Chat podcast and The Tough Standard: The Hard Truths About Masculinity and Violence by Ronald F. Levant and Shana Pryor Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Many people struggle with executive functioning skills, which are the mental skills that we use every day to learn, work, and manage tasks in daily life. My guest is Hannah Choi from Beyond Booksmart. She is an executive function coach who hosts Focus Forward: An Executive Function Podcast. She has over 20 years of experience working with students of all ages but currently focuses her coaching on college students and adults. Hannah was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and has spent her life trying to figure out systems to make things easier and less awful for those with executive functioning challenges. Join us to learn more from Hannah!   Show Highlights:  ●      An overview of Beyond Booksmart and what they offer through their coaching programs ●      How Hannah explains executive function skills ●      Why executive function skills are greatly impacted by our stress levels ●      How working memory is impaired by executive function challenges ●      The importance of figuring out the WHY of your struggle ●      How Hannah works with someone with time blindness by using a BVA (budgeted vs. actual) tool ●      Why you need to give yourself compassion as you identify your struggle and find workable solutions Resources and Links:   Connect with Hannah Choi and Beyond Booksmart: Website and the Focus Forward Podcast  Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s topic is about the religious trauma that many people encounter as they grow up, patriarchy, and the way religion tends to weaponize mental health. I’ve had my various issues with religion, but I want this episode to be helpful to those who consider themselves religious and those who do not. I’m joined by Karla, who is an Interfaith Interspiritual minister who refers to herself as “spiritual, but not religious.” Join us! Show Highlights: ●      How Rev. Karla came into her “deconstructing religion” phase ●      How a journey of religious deconstruction puts a person into a kind of freefall ●      What it means to go into the “spiritual wilderness” ●      Why Rev. Karla calls herself an unchurched, non-conforming Christian ●      Why we should question authority, religion, and the patriarchy ●      How we are intuitively connected to our inner wisdom and what is happening around us ●      Why we need spiritual autonomy ●      Thoughts on the Netflix documentary, Escaping Twin Flames ●      How some religions weaponize any mental health issues as indicators that faith, spiritual grounding, and leadership potential are lacking ●      Why sexual exploitation almost always shows up when patriarchy is in full force ●      The correlation between mental health and religious trauma Resources and Links: Connect with Rev. Karla: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and Spirituality Matters podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As we continue with the topic of responsible dog ownership for those with mental health challenges, I’m joined today by Andrew Gleason of Dog Savvy Training. He’s my personal dog trainer, and I love his approach. Join us to learn more about training and teaching your four-legged “wild child.” Show Highlights: ●      How Andrew came into the work he does today ●      Why most obedience training is a way to control misbehavior—and falls short ●      Why most dog behaviors fall into two categories of suppression or reaction ●      How Andrew breaks down a simple issue like leash-walking ●      How learning for all mammals comes down to constructional model learning and emotional model learning ●      How to support your dog’s learning ●       What “force-free training” entails with a more holistic approach ●      How Andrew attempts to take a healthy approach to limitations, boundaries, and respect ●      How common training techniques don’t communicate learning ●      How Andrew uses aversions and optimism to teach a dog about the freedom of choice ●      An overview of Andrew’s company, Dog SavvyTraining, and their scope of both in-person and virtual training   Resources and Links: Connect with Andrew Gleason and Dog Savvy Training: Website and Facebook Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do dogs have to do with struggle care? If you had lived in my shoes, you would understand. What was I thinking? I decided to celebrate all of my kids finally being in school by getting a puppy! It has been a journey of figuring out why I have a dog when I have ADHD and chronic fatigue–but we love our dog! I reached out to four different trainers to talk about the idea that it’s okay to have pets, even if you have struggles in your life. Let’s take a closer look with Ash, Aaron, Steph, and Joel at dog ownership and dog training in a way that ensures a good and mutually fulfilling partnership between our dogs and ourselves. Join us! Show Highlights:  ●      The fact is that life changes, and it doesn’t have to be perfect to give a dog a good life. The bare minimum is okay until you can do better. ●      An emphasis on owner-focused training gives high-output results with low input; the small things count! ●      An important factor to consider is energy level management because you can’t always rely on being able to manhandle (or pick up) the dog. ●      How to approach dog ownership in regards to breed, size, temperament, habits, and maintenance ●      Why a consistent 60% effort is better than an inconsistent pattern of 100% and nothing ●      Why the same tips don’t work for every person and every dog ●      Why the most important thing is to train your dog on how to handle their energy ●      How we over moralize many aspects of dog ownership, like rescue dogs vs. breeder puppies ●      How to approach physical exercise AND mental exercise with your dog ●      How a dog’s needs can be met in ways that fit in with ANY lifestyle ●      Training priorities for a dog living with an owner with a struggle care background ●      How to know if your dog is happy ●      Enrichment activities for dogs that don’t involve the owner ●      Why dogs are community builders   Resources and Links: Connect with Ash: Website, TikTok, and Instagram Connect with Aaron: TikTok Connect with Steph: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and Podcast Connect with Joel: TikTok, Facebook, and Instagram Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We continue our family vlogging conversation today, discussing how often our kids get put out and displayed on the internet and how that affects them. I have Catie Reay joining me to talk about how children get exploited in family vlogging. Catie was raised in a religious cult and had to overcome childhood sexual abuse. Now, she advocates for children online, dedicating her time to helping parents navigate conversations with their children about online safety. Her viewpoint will provide everyone with food for thought. Let’s dive in!  Show Highlights: How putting children online can still have negative consequences, even if there is no abuse  Catie reveals how family vlogging channels fail to protect children from abuse, sexualization, and stalking The controversy surrounding family vloggers who monetize their children's content Why it's exploitative to use children for creating online content as they cannot consent to being broadcast to millions of people How child actors face exploitation in the entertainment industry The importance of considering children's privacy and emotional well-being when creating and consuming parenting content How creating digital scrapbooks for children without proper consent can potentially result in long-term emotional distress   How children get forced to sign NDAs by their parents to prevent them from speaking publicly about their experiences The challenges of balancing the demands of social media and parenthood The importance of parents being proactive in adjusting their children’s digital habits to prevent them from being sexualized online Why parents must protect their children’s digital footprints Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Catie Reay on Instagram and TikTok (@thetiktokadvocate) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you have much experience with family vlogs, chances are that today’s topic has crossed your mind. My guest, Cam, is here to share her personal experience growing up as the child of one of the first well-known “Mommy bloggers.” Cam is an international advocate for children of influencers and family vloggers. She takes a stand against child exploitation, going as far as speaking to lawmakers and appearing in documentaries. Her perspective will give us all something to think about. Join us to learn more!   Show Highlights: ●      How to understand what family vlogging is ●      Cam’s take on two high-profile cases involving family vlogs that have been in the headlines ●      Cam’s experience as a child when her life was on display through her mom’s blog ●      What happens to a child when a parent overshares about their lives ●      How controversy always causes people to “click”--and more clicks mean more money! ●      The effect of growing up with a lack of privacy that caused embarrassment and vulnerability in Cam ●      Why consent is at the heart of this issue for kids ●      Can family vlogging be done ethically? ●      Why it can be devastating to feel exposed by the people who should protect you the most ●      Cam’s advocacy efforts to keep children from being exploited online   Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you are an avid Love is Blind watcher, you will definitely relate to this episode. If you haven’t watched the show, we will catch you up on the structure of the show and why it is so fascinating as a study in relationships, both healthy and toxic. Emily and I both made lists of relationship red flags that we noticed in Love is Blind, and we are discussing those and how they relate to real-life relationships. As a disclaimer, I know that reality TV is heavily edited and that everything is contextual. We don’t know these people personally, so please take our opinions with a grain of salt. Join us!   Show Highlights: ●      A look at Izzy and Stacey’s relationship—and the red flags on both sides of this polarizing couple ●      A Red Flag: Teasing and comments about appearance ○      What to watch out for: In early dating relationships, look out for how quick someone is to tease you about your physical appearance. ●      A Red Flag: When someone doesn’t have the emotional skill set to hold space for past trauma, mistakes, and vulnerability ○      What to watch out for: Someone who wants to establish their moral superiority to hold the power in the relationship. ●      A Red Flag: When someone’s enjoyment of me decreases if I’m not sexually attractive to them ○      What to watch out for: Someone who shuts down when you don’t look your best. ●      A Red Flag: Fake intimacy defending itself as “honesty” in disclosing vulnerabilities that are hurtful to their partner ○      What to watch out for: Someone who is emotionally immature about what intimacy and vulnerability mean in a monogamous relationship ●      The nuances of financial stability in a relationship–and who should pay for dates ●      Factors that determine compatibility in a relationship–and why that matters so much   Resources and Links: Connect with Emily Rose: Instagram and Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As Thanksgiving is just around the corner, gratitude is an important topic. It is important to offer a more nuanced perspective, because gratitude can be complicated and can look very different for different people. Gratitude goes beyond the simple phrase, “Just be grateful.” In today’s Part 1 of two episodes, we want to give people a brave place to let their true feelings be what they are, regardless of others’ expectations. How do we practice gratitude in a way that isn’t toxic positivity but still validates our feelings and raises our quality of life? My friend, Christine Koh, is here to contribute to the discussion. She is a speaker, creative consultant, author of Minimalist Parenting, and the podcast co-host of Edit Your Life. Join us!   Show Highlights:  ●      How we define gratitude–it doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone! ●      How gratitude can be an embracing the joy that is random in life–just as suffering is ●      How we define toxic positivity–and how it relates to motherhood ●      Why we, as a society, aren’t very good at sitting with uncomfortable emotions and pain ●      How Christine’s background and Asian heritage inform her view of toxic positivity ●      How spiritual bypassing relates to toxic positivity in not allowing feelings to be processed and explored ●      Why Christine is a fan of cognitive reframing–and how she uses this practical exercise to “flip the script” ●      Why we have to give voice to our suffering to process the feelings and move toward growth ●      How gratitude is an emotional muscle that we have to flex in our own ways ●      Christine’s advice to parents about teaching gratitude while not pushing toxic positivity on our kids ●      Why it is important for parents to model a wide range of emotions in front of our kids   Resources and Links: Connect with Christine Koh: Website, Podcast, and Minimalist Parenting book Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you are a Southerner, you know we have unique words, phrases, and expressions that are not understood by people who aren’t from around here. My guest today is doing his part to educate the world about all things Southern as the content creator behind his hilarious social media accounts on Instagram and TikTok. Landon Bryant is a Laurel, MS, native whose Southern roots go deep; he is an art educator by profession–and he is learning to navigate life with ADHD. Join us to hear more from Landon!   Show Highlights:  ●      An introduction to the Southern words “piddlin’” and “putterin’”---and what they mean ●      How Landon was diagnosed with ADHD as a college student and finally received helpful accommodations ●      Why Landon feels that being an art teacher is the perfect profession for someone like him ●      Why mental health issues carry a heavy stigma in the South, especially in rural areas where the church is the dominant force in the community ●      Highlights of Landon’s book, Bless Your Heart, “a beautiful guide to life down here” (Set to publish in early 2025) ●      How conversations and comments about ”fixin’ to” were how Landon got started on social media ●      How Landon’s wife, with a special education background, helps him in the writing process ●      How Landon is learning and growing on his writing journey by capitalizing on focused moments of inspiration ●      Accommodations that help him the most: lists, alarms, Google calendar, batching   Resources and Links: Connect with Landon: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m back with one of my favorite guests who is always up for the challenge of a podcast–no matter what the topic is! I want to explore the term rejection sensitivity dysphoria and get Dr. Lesley Cook’s take on it because I have so many questions. Let’s learn more together!  Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who works with those with ADHD and other kinds of neurodivergence. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families. Show Highlights: ●      What RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria) is and how it is manifested ●      KC’s personal experience with RSD and feelings of worthlessness ●      How RSD is different from sensory sensitivity and autism ●      Thoughts about the strong word dysphoria in RSD ●      KC’s personal experience with RSD and being told she is “too sensitive” ●      How we can grow, change, and find regulatory strategies for RSD ●      Why it is difficult to communicate the facets and nuances of RSD and other interpersonal difficulties Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Lesley Cook: TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Earlier this week, our episode 59, A Grief Observed, featured three people answering the same questions about their personal experience with grief. There was actually a fourth person, Meg Boberg, with very different circumstances, and her story is today’s episode. She shares her experience with “anticipatory grief,” where she grieves a loved one who has not yet passed. Unfortunately, Meg’s mother has now passed on since we recorded this interview. We extend heartfelt condolences to Meg and her family in this loss, and we sincerely thank her for transparently sharing her and her mother’s poignant story with us. Join us for Meg’s grief story.   Show Highlights: ●      What is anticipatory grief? ●      Highlights of Meg’s experience with her mother’s terminal cancer diagnosis since 2019, including writing an article about their shared experience ●      How Meg responds to the questions, “What can I do? How can I help?” ●      What people said or did that was helpful in the face of her mom’s terminal diagnosis ●      What people have said or done that was not helpful ●      How close friends have shown up for Meg during her anticipatory grief ●      Why saying something is better than saying nothing at all ●      Why the only thing that is NEVER helpful is to disappear, disengage, and not make any effort with a grieving person   Resources and Links: Read the article written by Meg and her mother, Linda: Navigating Preparatory & Anticipatory Grief Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is an unusual one as I’m joined by three different guests. We are getting a different perspective on grief as we wade into the messy complexity of interacting with someone deep into grief and being the person in grief who is trying to field all those interactions. These three people have experienced grief in losing someone very close to them. I ask them the same questions about what people said and did that were helpful gestures AND those that were not helpful, along with what they wish people would have done and said. Their varying answers are insightful and revealing, helping us to understand that there is no one right answer to navigating grief. Being human is complex and messy, and there is no better example of that than when grief and loss slam into our lives. Join us to hear the different perspectives on grief from my friends, Shayna, Rachel, and Portia.   *Sensitivity warning: We are talking about death in this episode, so be aware that our specific topics are infant death, spousal death, and the death of a close friend.   Show Highlights: ●      My first guest, Portia Burch: ○      How she lost her close friend, Tish, unexpectedly, around the same time as another meaningful loss in her life ○      The value of those who “bear witness” to our loss ○      How Portia responds to those who ask, “What do you need? What can I do for you?” ○      Why Portia wanted people to let her be, act normal around her, and not expect too much from her ○      Why it’s good to ask someone how they would like for us to proceed as they deal with a loss ○      How we can rephrase our questions into statements and listen to context clues to better follow up with someone during grief ○      Things people say that are not helpful during grief: comments like “this will get easier,” and “she’s in a better place” ○      What it really means to comfort someone ○      What we should talk more about the joy of a person’s life instead the fact that someone is gone ○      Why Portia says, “Grief is what we feel when our love has no place to go.”    ●      My next guest, Rachel: ○      How she lost her husband, Jim, in 2017, just before Father’s Day ○      How Rachel responds to those who ask, “What do you need? What can I do for you?” ○      How Rachel thought of grief and the people in proximity to it as ripples on a pond ○      Ways in which people were actually helpful with tangible support and care ○      Why Rachel vigilantly safeguarded how her husband’s death was explained to her kids ○      Rachel’s take on what to say and do to help someone experiencing acute grief   ●      My next guest, Shayna Raphael: ○      How she lost her daughter, Claire, eight years ago as an infant ○      How Shayna responds to those who ask, “What do you need? What can I do for you?” ○      What people did for Shayna and her family that were helpful actions ○      Things people did or said that were NOT helpful: comments about religion, closure, “a better place,” etc. ○      Why it isn’t helpful when people try to force comfort on a grieving person ○      Why those who show up and “enter into the messiness” are comforting ○      How Shayna found help and support through a Facebook group ○      Why Shayna and her husband founded the Claire Bear Foundation to provide safe sleep spaces to families across the US   Resources and Links: Connect with our guests: The Claire Bear Foundation Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We continue with a Part 2 segment on the topic of hoarding. Many underlying issues play into disorders around hoarding, and they may vary widely from person to person. The good news is that there are multi-faceted resources and professionals available to help and jumpstart the process of change! I’m joined by Dr. Leslie Hatch Gail, a professional organizer, presenter, and hoarding consultant. From her background as an educator, Dr. Leslie obtained her Ph.D. in Community Psychology and formed a new approach to those with organizational challenges, coming from a place of curiosity and a genuine desire to help. Join us to learn more!   Show Highlights:  ●      How Dr. Leslie became a professional organizer ●      How the hoarding TV shows usually try to present the person’s background and trauma that have led to hoarding tendencies ●      How hoarding was originally classified as a subtype of OCD and not its own disorder ●      Why many hoarders think they need the protection of “stuff” because they have been violated in some way ●      Why simply cleaning out a hoarder’s stuff does NOT fix the problem or help in the long run ●      The best ways to help raise awareness about hoarding disorders ●      The stages of readiness in making changes: awareness (thinking about change), planning action, and taking action ●      How Dr. Leslie uses an icebreaker worksheet to start the conversation about possible hoarding problems ●      Where to begin if you need help with hoarding issues and want to change   Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Leslie Hatch Gail: Website, Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook Mentioned by Dr. Leslie: Helpful resources through the Chicagoland Hoarding Task Force Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hoarding: the word is recognizable, but the truth is that most people don’t understand what hoarding is and how it happens. We are pulling back the curtain on the deeper emotions behind hoarding in today’s episode. I’m joined by “That Hoarder,” the host of the podcast, Overcome Compulsive Hoarding. You will notice that we are not using her name as she wishes to remain anonymous. Anonymity allows her to talk openly and honestly about hoarding and its stigma and shame. Join us to learn more!   Show Highlights:  ●      What hoarding looks like–and why it’s much more than simply having “too much stuff” ●      The transition from being a “messy” person to someone who couldn’t let anything go ●      How That Hoarder realized she had an organization problem ●      Why finding bargains is a problem for That Hoarder ●      Why she started her podcast, Overcome Compulsive Hoarding ●      How she began therapy for PTSD and slowly revealed the hoarding disorder ●      What therapy techniques have helped That Hoarder: doing “experiments,” dealing with overwhelm, and asking why ●      Why curiosity is a valuable tool for That Hoarder ●      Common misconceptions about hoarding disorder ●      That Hoarder’s advice for someone with a friend or family member with hoarding challenges ●      What to consider when children are being raised in a hoarding environment ●      How to gain confidence and exercise your de-hoarding muscle ●      Helpful mantras and motivations that work best for That Hoarder ●      Early warning signs that someone is passing from being messy into hoarding ●      Why hoarding is more than just “keeping too much stuff” and boils down to the struggles of mental anguish, obsessing, and compulsion   Resources and Links: Connect with That Hoarder: Website and Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I stumbled across Emily Haswell on TikTok, and I knew immediately that we would be friends. Listen to hear Emily’s TikTok about wearing the “circus tent with pockets” that led her to say (as a 33-year-old plus-sized woman), “I will NOT be influenced again by what the skinny-girl influencers say we MUST have!” She has started a de-influencing movement that I’m totally here for. Join us to laugh and learn more!   Show Highlights: ●      How Emily got more followers when she started her honest, de-influencing movement ●      Why KC hashired Emily as creative director for the Struggle Care podcast ●      Why KC and Emily decided to cancel on having the well-known, Emmy-nominated Netflix stars, The Minimalists ●      How we critique The Minimalists’ philosophy because it spreads shame and doesn’t hold the value we are looking for (and who really does the dishes in their house anyway?) ●      How we have reacted to influencers with harmful messaging on health, hoarding, domestic tasks, etc.    Resources and Links: Connect with Emily Haswell: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Social anxiety is a common experience for many people. Today’s show is about the tips and tricks we can use to deal with this kind of anxiety when we have to be social and in public. Join us to learn more! I’m joined by Michelle Huillet, an interpersonal communication instructor at Oregon State University in Corvallis, Oregon. In her interpersonal communication course for college freshmen and sophomores, Michelle teaches all about communication in relationships, including listening, nonverbal communication, emotions, and social anxiety.   Show Highlights:  ●      How social anxiety boils down to a fear of judgment ●      How Michelle’s students describe their social anxiety ●      Why many people who struggle with social anxiety look comfortable and confident on the outside ●      Accommodations for social anxiety ●      How nonverbal cues, like eye contact, can allow people with social anxiety to remain engaged and participate ●      Challenges to do with baby steps to become more comfortable with social anxiety by “getting your feet wet” ●      How our imperfections bring connection points–and give a gift to those around us ●      Michelle’s words of wisdom for those who have social anxiety Resources and Links: Mentioned in this episode: The Anxiety Healer's Guide: Coping Strategies and Mindfulness Techniques to Calm the Mind and Body by Alison Seponara Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are exploring the world of parenthood today, but this episode might be helpful even for those who aren’t parents. We are all in some process of trying to reparent ourselves, and it can be healing to hear how people are parenting, how they are failing, and why they want to do better. I’m joined by Yolanda Williams, who has built the Parenting Decolonized brand. She is a single mom, a conscious parenting coach, and a racial justice educator. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights:  ●      Why sleep and parenting is a no-win situation for parents: the essence of the co-sleep vs. sleep train debate ●      Why parents have to figure out when their child is dysregulated and what works best for them–even if goes against “the rules” ●      How parents can learn about their triggers and how they project those triggers into the world ●      Why we don’t understand the fears, shame, and motivation that cause other parents to do what they do ●      How Yolanda feels about the parent-coaching industry ●      How Yolanda has built an intentional community in the absence of the ancestral village ●      How capitalism and racism have infiltrated our parenting techniques ●      Why Yolanda is working to form an intentional village community where parents help each other with whatever their “privilege” is ●      How to start decolonizing your parenting ●      What we should teach our kids about violence, restraint, bullying, and self-defense ●      A look at Yolanda’s recent parenting “wins”   Resources and Links: Connect with Yolanda Williams: Website, Parenting Decolonized podcast, and Instagram Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to this bonus episode! For the next few weeks I’ll be putting out some bonus content, and today we will explore coping skills. It’s a phrase that’s become a buzzword in the psychology world right now, along with emotional regulation, feelings, and trauma. Let’s clarify these concepts that may have gotten watered down with a closer look.   Show Highlights: ●      “Emotional regulation” defined and explained: what it is and what it is not ●      The definition, Part 1: “Emotional regulation is the ability to respond to the ongoing demands of experience with a range of emotions and in a manner that is socially tolerable . . .” It is OK to have your feelings! ●      The definition, Part 2: “ . . . and sufficiently flexible to permit spontaneous reactions, as well as the ability to delay spontaneous reactions as needed.” Being emotionally regulated doesn’t mean you are a robot! ●      What it means to operate within your “window of tolerance,” the optimal zone of arousal (not in a sexual sense, but nervous system activation) for a person to function in everyday life ●      How your window of tolerance has red zones at the top and bottom of hyper- and hypo-arousal ●      The learning zone vs. the comfort zone ●      How coping skills help us bring ourselves back to the window of tolerance in the comfort zone ●      Why we should morally neutralize ALL coping skills ●      Examples of coping skills that help you stay out of the red zones and regulate well ●      Why self-compassion is THE most important coping skill   Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever been told to “do a mindfulness practice” only to find that it doesn’t work? Let’s talk about some alternatives to mindfulness that can help with unhelpful thoughts and negative feelings. I’m joined by Dr. Raquel Martin, a psychologist who’s here to discuss this hot topic in the current “therapy talk.” She may sound familiar to you if you’ve listened to my audiobook, How to Keep House While Drowning, as she wrote the section about caring for black hair when you might be struggling.   Show Highlights:  ●      How Dr. Raquel defines mindfulness ●      How mindfulness helps us distance ourselves from unhelpful thoughts and negative feelings ●      Why it’s helpful to think, “This is just a thing” ●      Why mindfulness is not the best fit for everyone ●      How a “stress kit” can be helpful ●      Why deep breathing is not the regulation answer for everyone ●      How alternatives to journaling can be beneficial without “writing” ●      Why therapy and coping skills must be customized to the individual ●      The difference in rules and boundaries ●      How different our world would be if people received mental health support ●      Why compassion and understanding are the keys in understanding a person’s mental health struggles and individualizing their treatment   Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Raquel Martin: Website, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and Mind Your Mental Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the show that will make you take a closer look at how the work is shared in your household. The problem cannot be solved by simply handing out to-do lists. I’m joined by Eve Rodsky, who is working to change society one partnership at a time by promoting a new 21st-century solution to an age-old problem. Still today, women shoulder two-thirds or more of the unpaid domestic work and child care for their homes and families, and this burden is taking its toll! Again, there are deeper issues to consider. Let’s talk about this topic with Eve! Show Highlights: ●      How Eve came to write her book, Fair Play ●      How many wives/moms have an automatically assigned role in their homes ●      How the shift in marriage occurs where women do most of the “invisible work” ●      How Eve’s book is structured with information and practical ways to divide labor ●      How a story about the Tooth Fairy illustrates the mindset shifts that need to happen in both partners to have fair play ●      Why couples get into a measuring contest about whose job is harder ●      Why we need to break down harmful norms that hurt us all and be clear about each partner’s role ●      Is your home infested by RATs? (randomly assigned tasks) ●      Why accountability and trust are vital in home organization ●      Why the mental load is more taxing in most cases than the actual execution of tasks ●      How to view boundaries with a fresh and freeing perspective and find your “unicorn space” Resources and Links: Connect with Eve Rodsky: Website, Instagram (Fair Play Life), Instagram (Eve), and TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We focus a lot on this show about survival skills regarding your life and your home. When we struggle–and our mental health is at stake–we have to let go of lofty ideals and just do the basic tasks we need to survive. Even though interior design is not normally classified as a survival skill, as today’s guest says, “We all deserve beauty.” It’s true. We do. I’m joined by Katie Soro, a vintage dealer and artist who decided to start a new kind of interior design to fuel her passion for vintage and helping people find, curate, see, and experience beauty. Let’s dive deeper into this important topic.   Show Highlights:  ●      Why function AND beauty can coexist—and you deserve them both in your home ●      The first step in decorating your home: Don’t think about what others will say; there is NO wrong way to do it. ●      How a lifeless, inanimate thing can be beautiful and bring creativity to your home ●      How thrifting and antiquing allow you to curate your own style that speaks to you ●      Why beauty in interior design comes from the feelings we get from beautiful things ●      Katie’s practical tips for home design: (Keep in mind that there is NO right way to do it.) ●      Start with a room by considering the mood and function you want in that room. ●      Use lighting to set the mood and be functional for tasks. ●      Use wall art, and remember that it doesn’t have to cost a fortune. ●      Katie’s tips for finding design inspiration: Think outside the box, use Pinterest, don’t be afraid to try and fail more than once, and start thrifting to find unique pieces that speak to you.   Resources and Links: Connect with Katie Saro: Website, Instagram, The Art of Vintage TV Show (Magnolia Network and Discovery+) Mentioned in this episode: www.shopgoodwill.com Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s conversation brings us to the unusual intersection of social media influence, DIY home repair, and trans activism. I’m excited to introduce you to my amazing guest for today’s show! Mercury Stardust, the “Trans Handy Ma’am,” is a professional home maintenance technician, burlesque performer, author, and award-winning activist. Mercury credits her TikTok success to her experience teaching burlesque, where she learned to communicate and create a safe space for students who had frequently experienced trauma. She has been featured in stories by NBC, NPR, Buzzfeed, Newsweek, the Washington Post, and Pink News. Her leadership within the trans community has led to collaborations with such brands as I Fix It, Lowe’s, and the trans healthcare community Point of Pride. Mercury’s recent livestream fundraiser ended up raising over $2.2 million, and she’s embarking on a huge book tour this fall to promote her book, Safe & Sound: A Renter-Friendly Guide to Home Repair.   Show Highlights:  ●      How Mercury created a safe space with “Gentle DIY” in the male-dominated handyman world ●      How Mercury became a home maintenance technician to supplement her living as a cabaret performer ●      Why Mercury’s content caters to apartment renters and others who may not be comfortable with tools and DIY repairs ●      Why Mercury shows up authentically without pretense and perfectionism ●      What it’s like to be a prominent trans woman on the internet and still manage her mental health ●      How Mercury handles the task of setting boundaries with people to protect her emotional and mental health ●      Highlights from Mercury’s book, Safe & Sound, and her upcoming 52-city book tour ●      How Mercury leans into her weaknesses and insecurities   Resources and Links: Connect with Mercury Stardust: Website, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, YouTube, and Safe & Sound book Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Honestly, this is a topic for everyone. Today’s show applies to all of us, whether we are parents, future parents, or someone who needs to heal their inner child. I’m excited to be joined by Rachel Nielson, the host and founder of the 3in30 Podcast. She interviewed me on a recent episode, and she’s returning the favor by joining me for this important conversation. Join us! Show Highlights: ●      The structure for Rachel’s 3in30 podcast: 3 actionable takeaways in 30 minutes ●      Why parenting values are far superior to parenting rules ●      Why success in motherhood is most definable by the connection we have with our kids ●      What Rachel teaches in her program, Self-Assured Motherhood ●      Why there is an opportunity to parent your inner child by identifying your core parenting values ●      How you can have different values for different seasons of your life and family ●      How Rachel’s program helps women identify and uncover their values by looking inward and outward ●      Why our values might be in conflict with each other ●      How parenting partners can handle conflict in their individual parenting values ●      Takeaways from Rachel about embracing your values, accepting them, and living into them authentically   Resources and Links: Connect with Rachel Nielson: Website and Podcast Find Rachel’s list of parenting values: www.3in30podcast.com/values Mentioned in this episode: The Family Firm by Emily Oster Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you have too much stuff? As you look around your home, is it crowded and cluttered? Does your space make you feel burdened, unhappy, and frustrated? If you said–or shouted–YES, you can’t miss today’s show. Join me to learn more about gentle organizing.  Alison Lush is a Certified Professional Organizer, Certified Virtual Organizer, and Master Trainer. After a 20-year catering career, Alison knew she needed better organization and management skills for her home and personal comfort. She learned to live and shop intentionally, creating and protecting the space in her home. Now she puts her expertise to work in helping others by empowering them and teaching them to put themselves at the center of their organization efforts.  Show Highlights: How Alison became an organizer with a gentle spirit Why our interactions with our home, space, time, and belongings form the foundations of our lives Why Alison’s focus is on “organic organizing” Alison’s answer to a question sent in by Samantha about dealing with clutter, letting things go, and the functionality of her space How to organize your space by using Zone 1, Zone 2, and Zone 3—and consider the frequency of access for each item Ways to keep, honor, and display memorabilia by identifying the risk level in letting items go How to consider the purpose of items in our lives in deciding to keep them or let them go Alison’s answer to a question from Kitty about decorating, a sense of style, and learning to feel good about her space How to reframe what might look crappy and rundown to you as a life well-lived, meaningful, and full of love Why your decor should fuel you and recharge your batteries Alison’s answer to a question from Aria about separating and managing work life and home life How to legitimize, categorize, and systemize your space for the best functionality Why the professional organizing industry has the reputation of telling people to “just get rid of your stuff” Resources: Connect with Alison: www.alisonlush.ca and TikTok    Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In our first episode, you heard my conversation with Dr. Lesley Cook about executive functioning. Because she has so much great information and wisdom to share, I decided to bring her back to discuss self-compassion. Is it a bad thing to have TOO MUCH self-compassion? Join us for the conversation with Dr. Lesley! Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who does a lot of work with ADHD and other neurodivergencies. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families.  Show Highlights: How to find the balance between the message of self-compassion and the need for better life management and progress A basic understanding of self-compassion from Dr. Kristin Neff’s writings A closer look at shame and how we experience it in relation to self-compassion How to gently shift shame into self-compassion How self-compassion can become a learned behavior that we pass down to our children Resources:  Connect with Dr. Lesley: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m excited to introduce you to today’s guest. Imani Barbarin is a disability rights and inclusion activist and speaker who uses her platform for conversations around the disability community. I’ve followed her for a while on TikTok and appreciate the way she expresses her opinions and helps educate the rest of us. Come join us now! Show Highlights: How Imani explored and discovered her passion for advocacy for disability and inclusion rights How climate change and disability are linked Why environmental ableism is a real thing How people have become victims of their non-nuanced thinking, only wanting to be on the “right” side Why the COVID pandemic has become a “mass-disabling” event, especially regarding mental health Examples of ways in which the environmental movement has left those with disabilities behind Why society has a general disdain for disabled people and believes that they don’t (or won’t) contribute to society How the luxury of abled people trumps the necessity of the disabled What the function of capitalism is on disabled bodies How disabled people are used as pawns in the pro-choice/pro-life debate Why there is inherent racism in the pro-life movement What laziness is and is not Resources: Connect with Imani: Website and Instagram Resources mentioned: https://www.sinsinvalid.org, https://disasterstrategies.org, https://www.americanprogress.org  Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we are diving into executive functioning, which is a popular term being bounced around in mental health communities. I want to take a closer look at what it means and how it shows up in people’s lives. Join me to learn more from today’s guest! Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who does a lot of work with ADHD and other neurodivergencies. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families. Dr. Lesley and I met on TikTok, and I’m happy to have her here today! Show Highlights: A common-language definition and explanation of executive functioning How executive function deficits show up in someone’s life How shame, guilt, and inconsistent performance are clues to executive function problems The difference between motivation and task initiation Why the underlying issue with lack of motivation is more about what a person values How a person’s sense of self is affected when they believe their authentic self is “bad” Why external supports are necessary when an internal system is down Why rhythm is better than routine for those with executive function disorder How neurotypical people experience interruptions with executive functioning on a regular basis because of overload and anxiety How blips in executive function occur in neurotypical people with predictability and response to intervention—as opposed to someone with a diagnosis How someone with ADHD can have incredible deficits in executive function on days when everything is going their way–and won’t respond reliably to normal interventions How to build into each day differing levels of acceptable outcomes–and give yourself permission to choose what fits your needs at that moment Lesley’s advice to those who think they have executive functioning issues Resources:  Connect with Dr. Lesley: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Find great resources about executive functioning:   www.understood.org, www.psychologytoday.com, and https://chadd.org/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Dear Listeners, "We want to inform you that this episode marks the end of our current season. We would like to take a break during the month of August to recharge and prepare exciting new content for you. We will be back with fresh episodes in September, filled with engaging discussions and insightful interviews. We appreciate your support and look forward to reconnecting with you soon" -KC Davis Codependency is one of those buzzwords often used in therapy and mental health around relationships. Today’s guest has provoked a lot of feedback by challenging people’s views on this subject. Join us for this intriguing conversation. I’m joined by one of my favorite people on TikTok, Shahem Mclaurin, a social worker in Brooklyn, NY, with over 500,000 followers on social media. Shahem is self-described as a person who is “queer as hell, Black as hell, and loud as hell.” They use their platform to address a wide range of social and mental health issues impacting people of color, patriarchy-impacted people, and members of the LGBTQ+ community. Show Highlights: ●      How Shahem’s view of codependency has challenged the worldview of many people ●      Why Shahem got a lot of blowback from his thoughts on codependency when he began to challenge popular worldviews ●      Why we need to differentiate between attention-seeking and connection-seeking behaviors ●      Why people get defensive when their “codependency identification” is challenged ●      How the term codependency originated as part of popular therapeutic language ●      How our culture sees having empathy for someone and expecting accountability from them as opposites that can’t both be true at the same time ●      Thoughts on codependency, outside validation, connectivity, and feeling emotionally safe ●      How to take a look at your unique journey “in the pool” Resources and Links: Connect with Shahem: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m excited about today’s guest because she has had a huge influence on me. I can confidently say that finding her research on self-compassion was a turning point in my healing journey. Do you need more self-compassion? Join us to learn more! Dr. Kristin Neff is a renowned psychologist, self-care researcher, and author. Her work has had a profound impact on the field of psychology and has helped countless people cultivate self-acceptance and resilience.  Show Highlights: How self-compassion became Dr. Kristin’s main area of research Understanding self-esteem vs. self-compassion The three components of self-compassion: mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness How self-esteem creates comparison and social disconnection by being conditional and unstable How self-compassion gives the gift of authenticity The difference between fierce self-compassion and tender self-compassion How self-compassion helps us get past our shame Why self-compassion doesn’t mean indulgence Pathways and blocks to self-compassion The connection between self-compassion and psychological functioning How self-compassion helps when we fail and make mistakes Why the goal of practicing self-compassion is to be simply a compassionate mess who is completely human Why the practice of self-compassion has to start small with baby steps of warmth and support (What would you say to a friend?) A look at Dr. Kristin’s latest book, Fierce Self-Compassion How anger fits into self-compassion Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Kristin and find many helpful resources: Website Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m so excited to have my first in-person guest on the podcast! Frankie Simmons is here, and she’s literally sitting right next to me. I love Frankie’s TikTok content, and I resonate with so much of what she says. I feel like she is a younger version of me, as we have similar backgrounds and healing journeys. I hope you will join us for this conversation! Show Highlights: Get to know Frankie and our thoughts on being fellow Texans How Frankie exited her background in Christianity and fear and began to explore the world Why Frankie does TikToks about her functional responses to trauma and finding self-trust The journey from fear and insecurity into feeling worthy and accepted How Frankie experienced a mind-blowing shift in her approach to life Why Frankie has chosen to be sober–and how that has changed her life and relationships Frankie’s journey to understand herself as a confident introvert How we can experience a different version of life when we accept ALL of ourselves What things are like in Frankie’s relationship with love and acceptance How it harms us to be taught that we should feel guilty if life is “easy” and not a constant struggle How Frankie and KC describe their current relationship with Christianity, faith, and spirituality Resources and Links: Connect with Frankie Simmons: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our topic today is intriguing, so I can’t wait to learn more from my guest. I’m joined by River Nice (they/them), who was originally in a tech job they hated. After using their skill set to help their partner with debt from her gender transition, River found their calling: to help queer people with their money. Now, they run their own financial planning firm, Be Intentional Financial LLC (BIF), to serve their clients and community and help to dismantle oppression in all its forms. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: Misconceptions people have about the term “anti-capitalist financial planner” A look at the harmful and inaccurate mainstream financial advice in our world Why we live in fear and worry about our financial survival in a capitalist society A look at white privilege and how we can make the world a better place under oppressive systems What “redistribution of wealth” looks like, practically speaking How River helps clients with investing for long-term financial security A charity giving model vs. creating an interdependent community How River teaches financial emergency preparedness to clients How anti-capitalist financial planning is a holistic view of life, money, values, and relationships River’s advice about specific financial scenarios around debt management, living paycheck to paycheck, planning for the future, and accumulating wealth Resources and Links:  Connect with River Nice: Website, Instagram, and TikTok Check out River’s Website for FREE resources and a FREE 30-minute consultation! Also mentioned: the Mint app and the Honeydue app for couples Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Coaching is an interesting field with many nuances, and we hear a LOT of buzz about coaching right now. There are coaches for literally EVERY aspect of life. While there are things to appreciate about the field of coaching, there are definitely things to look out for, as well. I’m joined by my good friend, Heidi Smith, who is a Licensed Professional Counselor.   In Part 2 of this conversation, I’m joined by Rachel Ambrose for a coach’s perspective. Rachel is a coach for neurodivergents who has been diagnosed with ADHD and autism. As someone who holds multiple coaching certifications, she is here to give us a better look at the coaching field. She talks about the bounds of coaching and her personal experience around green and red flags in the industry. Rachel shares tips to help people know how to find a helpful coach and be more knowledgeable about the coaching field.  Show Highlights: How Heidi partners with clients and coaches in her counseling work Why there are legitimate questions about the training and oversight in the coaching field Why coaching is, by definition, a less intimidating relationship than with a therapist but is like “paying for a friend” How coaching and therapy embody very different relationships, lanes, and ethics What to consider in questions about licensure and certifications The ethical rabbit hole around the client’s relationship with therapists and coaches Why the coaching field is like the Wild West right now Pitfalls in the coaching industry around sexual integrity, case management, interventions, and narcissism KC’s experience in researching ADHD coaching  The vagueness around a “spirituality coach” The bottom line about coaching: “Do your research and be aware of potential drawbacks.” Part 2 from Rachel Amrose: Green and red flags around coaching around the following: Power dynamics in the relationship “I have the cure/the magical answer for your problem!” Concrete, actionable items How to know if a coach’s training is worthwhile or not How to gauge a coach’s willingness to refer out–and stay in their lane Resources and Links:  Connect with Rachel Ambrose: Website Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Racism. You may think you know what it is and in what ways it exists in our society, but it is a deep and multi-faceted topic. We could spend hours trolling the depths of language, attitudes, behaviors, and nuances that are influenced by race. We are attempting to explore and learn more in today’s show. I’m joined by Rebecca Slue, also known as the White Woman Whisperer. You may know her from TikTok, which is where I found her. We connected when I took an anti-racism course and reached out to her for help, and I’ve already learned a lot from her. Join us for more from Rebecca’s perspective. Show Highlights: An example of how KC got into a quandary over comments on social media and the fear of being labeled as a racist How amazing conversations are happening when we aren’t concerned about perfectionism in our words What we need to understand about white supremacy How Rebecca uses a caste system model of values to understand the behaviors that perpetuate white supremacy Why our understanding of anti-racism is a journey and not a destination Rebecca’s experience of racial identity as she grew up the child of Jewish and Jamaican parents How Rebecca’s experience played out when she entered corporate America How she became the White Woman Whisperer How racism created a holistic layer of chronic stress for Rebecca How Rebecca uses a metaphor to explain white fragility, white privilege, and the pinata of white supremacy Resources and Links:  Connect with Rebecca: Website and Podcast, Instagram, TikTok  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Technology can be challenging for those with ADHD, and I’ll admit that I’ve struggled at times in this area. If you are someone who responds better to tactile and visual learning, you can probably relate. There are many tools and hacks available to help with executive functioning issues, and I’m excited to learn more in today’s show. I’m joined by technology expert Kat Hunt, who is raising a neurodivergent daughter. Let’s learn more about technological aids that can be helpful for ADHD. Join us! Show Highlights: Three specific areas in which neurodivergent struggle and technologies that can help: Time blindness Solutions: Apps like Calendly, Artful Agenda, and Taskly Data loss/overwhelm Solution: Migrating events/tasks into Google Calendar Dopamine-seeking or dopamine-resisting behaviors Solution: Forest app Why mobile access to these tools is preferable over a physical tool, especially for those who travel or move from home to office frequently How Kat uses Alexa technology to her advantage in time management with her family and at her office How the Due app forces you to pay attention to notifications for events and tasks How parents can use Alexa features with neurodivergent kids to increase independence and self-efficacy while still having parental structure in place Resources and Links:  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As you can probably figure out from the title, this is NOT the show to listen to around children! I’m joined by Catie Osborn, better known as @catieosaurus on TikTok–with an average of 30-50 million monthly views. She is an actor, podcaster, sex educator, adult performer, and mental health and disability advocate based in Atlanta. We are diving into the interesting intersection of ADHD and sexuality. If you are curious to hear more, join us! Show Highlights: How growing up in a very conservative and religious household gave Catie an interesting perspective on sex that was based on shame How Catie became interested in kink, received an ADHD diagnosis, and became a sex educator Why sex is a “fragile moment” Why sexual dysfunction and sexual disappointment are NOT the same things How ADHD makes it difficult to stay focused during sex because of overthinking How neurodivergent people struggle to articulate their needs–especially with intimacy Why sex shouldn’t be in terms of obligation, duty, and service but in terms of being authentically ourselves in surrender to the experience How our sex lives are influenced by layers of white supremacy, capitalism, trauma, and heteronormative values that need to be unpacked and investigated What kink is at its core–and why it has saved Catie Why conversations about sex and intimacy connect you to your partner, breed trust and vulnerability, and lead to better sex! Why Catieosaurus’ TikTok series, “Burnt Out Gifted and Talented Submissive Brat with a Praise Kink,” has been hugely popular How kink allowed Catie to be the one who calls the shots and feels safe and supported–for the first time Resources and Links: Connect with Catie: Website, Podcast, Instagram, and TikTok Book mentioned: Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Self-care is a term we hear EVERYWHERE right now, and you’ve heard me talk about it over and over again. Today’s discussion is around the disillusionment of the self-care industry that I’m feeling, along with many others. I’m joined by Taylor Elyse Morrison, the author of Inner Workout: Strengthening Self-Care Practices for Healing Body, Soul, and Mind. Taylor is a founder, facilitator, coach, and serial entrepreneur, and she uses her coaching, mindfulness, and movement training to meet people where they are and offer actionable steps toward avoiding burnout. I’m putting Taylor on the spot by asking questions and picking her brain about common self-care struggles, and she is up for the challenge! Let’s see how this turns out! Show Highlights: How the consumeristic quality of today’s self-care movement ignores the marginalizations and barriers that many people experience that bring distress and hopelessness Why Taylor urges us to ask, “Is it the Self, or is it the System?” Why Taylor created a self-care assessment to give people “practical starting points” How Taylor’s self-care assessment is based on the five yogic dimensions Why self-care is often confused with pleasure as the hard work of self-care is overlooked Why part of self-care is holding onto yourself in the presence of other people Why wisdom is a part of self-care, along with the components of presence, self-trust, and aligned action How curiosity and self-compassion play into effective self-care Why Taylor is satisfied with the feedback she is getting from her book Resources and Links: Connect with Taylor: Website, (Buy her book, take the free self-care assessment, and join her newsletter group.) TikTok, and Instagram. Find Taylor’s book on Amazon: Inner Workout: Strengthening Self-Care Practices for Healing Body, Soul, and Mind.  Find Inner Workout on TikTok and Instagram.  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can you afford the services of a professional organizer? Most people can’t, and that’s one of the big problems with the industry. Many professional organizers have come up with alternative ideas that allow them to reach more people with their services. Join us to learn more! I’m happy to welcome back to the show Alison Lush, a Certified Professional Organizer who specializes in chronic disorganization. Alison last joined me for Episode 5 about Gentle Organizing. Today’s discussion is about the problems with professional organizing and how the industry is evolving to be accessible to more people. The good news is that there are different levels of help available more than ever before for organizing and decluttering your spaces! Show Highlights: Why a main problem with the professional organizing industry is that the services are not accessible for most people How the pandemic massively impacted professional organizers in beneficial ways that are far more economical for clients How Alison’s focus has changed to educating and empowering the individual to get unstuck Why there is a spectrum of disorganization in which most people exist somewhere in the middle Highlights of new gap-filling services that some innovative professional organizers are offering (See Resources and Links) Why Accountability Groups and Body Doubling have become the cornerstone of Alison’s work with clients Why the biggest question for professional organizers to ask regarding the client is, “What do they need?” The difference between being unwilling and being overwhelmed in organizing and decluttering Alison’s advice about finding a professional organizer  Resources and Links: Connect with Alison: Website and TikTok JUDITH KOLBERG Conquering Chronic Disorganization book – emotion-based decluttering and organizing strategies https://www.judithkolberg.com/ HAZEL THORNTON Go With the Flow!: The clutter flow chart workbook https://www.org4life.com/ SUSAN GARDNER The Focus Project “If your possessions interfere with your quality of life, The Focus Project is a way to look at them through a different lens.” Frame, Value, Edit. Exercises that promote looking at your belongings from a different angle. Reflection, partnering, creativity are encouraged, along with curiosity about the root causes of clutter. – Self-directed LYNNE POULTON Declutter GO! by Lynne Poulton - Once you start, you’re on a roll. Declutter GO! GAME NIGHTS – Group body doubling – weekly guided activities, prompts – group body doubling or autonomous -  JONDA BEATTIE AND DIANE QUINTANA Release-Repurpose-Reorganize CARDS https://releaserepurpose.com/?fbclid=IwAR3UkkdN6FdroVrQ260VV17XqvA2MnuMl5Hf9DHfzdMD_OaiYLz8tFbyYag - Self-directed – focused areas – systematic VICKIE DELLAQUILA Ophelia the Organizer – Follow her adventures and hear her organizing advice https://www.opheliatheorganizer.com/ JULIET LANDAU-POPE Organizing Bootcamp (5x15 minute sessions over weekdays) https://jlpcoach.com/ Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

**Content Warning: This episode references school shootings and the murder of George Floyd. Stress is a word we throw around regarding many aspects of life, and we all know what it is to feel stress, but how much do we truly understand about it? Stress can take any able-bodied, able-minded person and bring them to a whole new level, whether or not they have a diagnosed condition. As we break down the topic of stress, each person has different responses, personality styles, and primary goals. Join us to find out which stress animal you are!  I’m joined by Dr. Lindsey Cooley, who posted a TikTok about stress, and I knew we had to have this conversation on the podcast. She is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who specializes in school-aged children/teens, emotional and behavioral disorders, LGBTQ youth, ADHD, and autism spectrum disorder.  Show Highlights: Why we should be kind to ourselves–even if we don’t have a diagnosis What is stress? (THE million-dollar question!) The phases of stress (alarm, resistance, and exhaustion) and how prolonged stress can cause diseases of adaptation How our culture normalizes “too much stress” How stressful life events can affect executive functioning, relationships, energy, and more (The Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale and Adverse Childhood Experience are well-known measurement tools.) Why we need to legitimize that most of our stress is caused by normal reactions to dysfunctional systems The medical model of disease vs. the social model of disease Common symptoms of being in a prolonged stress cycle Differences in acute stress, chronic stress, and traumatic stress How traumatic stress occurs when we watch something like the murder of George Floyd and school shootings How the “stress animals” (eagle, turtle, chameleon, and lion) concept came from Lynn Lott's Top Card Activity How your personality style and stress response help determine your stress animal How we can learn to care for ourselves in the middle of stress  Resources: Connect with Dr. Lindsey Cooley: TikTok Mentioned in this episode: Lynn Lott's Top Card Activity, the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, the ACE Scale, and "Kids Are Suffering from Toxic Stress" LA Times article Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning ​​We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you follow me at all, you know that I really don’t like the word self-care. But today, I’m giving you an entire episode about Real Self Care! My guest today is Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, a perinatal psychiatrist, writer, and CEO of Gemma, a women's mental health community, has a fresh perspective on self-care. In her debut nonfiction book, Real Self Care, Dr. Lakshmin challenges the conventional concept of self-care, which is largely full of empty calories and devoid of substance. She argues that the game is rigged, and faux self-care only keeps us looking outward, comparing ourselves with others or striving for a certain type of perfection, which means it's incapable of truly nourishing us in the long run. Her insights on self-care are particularly relevant in the current times, when many people feel overwhelmed, overburdened, and burnt out. Show Highlights: The difference between a “system” and “philosophy”. There is no one right answer, there are hundreds of answers. Hope as a skill, not a new concept. A boundary is the process you went through where you decided that you were worthy of standing up for what you want. You know how to practice real self-care when you suffer from a mental health condition. There is no one answer for recovery from religious trauma. Links and Resources: Connect with Dr. Pooja Lakshmin: Instagram, Twitter Real Self Care, Dr. Pooja Lakshmin Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning ​​We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Many adults, like me, are diagnosed with ADHD later in life. It is fascinating to hear the stories of how this diagnosis is missed in their childhood years. I’m joined by Dr. Sasha Hamdani, a board-certified psychiatrist and ADHD clinical specialist who just happens to spend some of her spare time on TikTok. Let’s get the facts from an expert! Join us for this interesting conversation! Show Highlights: The basics: What is ADHD? Why reframing is helpful for adults diagnosed with ADHD Why many of us do self-diagnosis, especially in today’s social media-driven world Factors that can cause a child to fly under the radar and go undiagnosed Why ADHD can be described as “an interest-based nervous system” How most people with ADHD have an “I’m dumb” moment because of how their brains process information and overlook details Why ADHD diagnosis is overlooked in so many people because of the ways they learn to compensate for symptoms Why people with ADHD mask their internal symptoms by learning to respond to their external environment Dr. Sasha’s advice about educating yourself and learning more about ADHD How to decide whether or not to take ADHD medication as an adult Dr. Sasha’s advice about noticing red flags in dealing with your healthcare provider  Resources: Connect with Dr. Sasha: TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, Book, Self-Care for People with ADHD, and the Focus Genie App Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you agree that we live in a world that equates body size with a person’s value? What is our society teaching our kids about fat, body size, and a person’s worth? If you experienced body-size shaming as you grew up, don’t you want to do a better job with your children? Parenting around these topics is not easy, and my guest today wrote a book to help us understand more. I’m excited for this conversation with Virginia Sole-Smith, author of Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture and host of the Burnt Toast podcast. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: Why parents struggle with fears and concerns around their kids’ body sizes Why the goal is to have kids who don’t feel anxious about their relationship with food Why we need to think about health as MUCH more than a number on the scale Why, to embrace body diversity, we need to challenge what we’ve been trained to think about health, beauty, and morality How weight distribution matches up with “thin privilege” and anti-fat bias How focusing too closely on our personal weight struggles causes us to reinforce and perpetuate fat bias in the world How our children receive messaging around body types and sizes from healthcare providers, sports coaches, etc.  How to have healthy conversations with kids about bodies, fat, diets, etc.  Why parents need to give counter programming to the default settings our kids receive from society about topics such as body shaming and racism Why Virginia included in her book a chapter called “Straight White Dads on Diets”  Resources: Connect with Virginia Sole-Smith: Website, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, Burnt Toast podcast, and Fat Talk book Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Getting therapy and finding the right therapist is super intimidating! Most people aren’t even sure how to begin the process. Besides the fear and stigma associated with seeking help for mental health, therapy can be scary when you don’t know what to expect. One of my friends from TikTok has written a book with tons of practical information and advice about the basics of therapy. Join us to learn more! Shani Tran is a licensed therapist in Minnesota and Arizona. She wrote the book, Dope Therapy: A Radical Guide to Owning Your Therapy, to validate the anxiety that can arise around seeking counseling. Through her book, she offers guidance for navigating the uncomfortable conversations that can come up in therapy. In her professional work and on TikTok, Shani focuses on education around cultural humility and helping people of color, who have historically been underserved by the mental health community.  Show Highlights: Why Shani wanted to write her book to make the therapy process less intimidating How Shani’s book breaks down the therapy process, including all the financial information that people need to know Why it is important to be direct in your questions to a therapist How to reframe your thinking around, “Therapy didn’t work for me.” Why it’s OK to tell your therapist how you really feel (they WANT you to advocate for yourself!) Shani’s advice about firing a therapist (Hint: Ghosting them is OK!) Why the therapy room is a great place to practice new communication skills in a safe place Why your relationship with your therapist is different from every other human relationship How teletherapy brings new elements to the therapy process to improve accessibility Why Shani wants to be noticed for her diverse skills as a clinician and not just her work with the BIPOC community The difference in cultural competency and cultural humility  Resources: We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Connect with Shani: Dope Therapy book (also available at other booksellers), TikTok, and Instagram Mentioned by Shani: The Gift of Therapy by Irvin D. Yalom Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Small things can make all the difference, and each person gets to decide for themselves what those little steps are that uplift our spirits and lighten our load. These little things are NOT the same for everyone! A simple thing, like having her hair washed and styled twice weekly, helps energize today’s guest and makes her feel that she can take on the world–and she doesn’t need to make excuses for it. Join us to hear my conversation with Heidi Smith. Show Highlights: How Heidi decided that having someone “do her hair” twice each week is a BIG deal for her mental health Why we have to decide for ourselves how to spend our emotional energy, which is in limited supply Why it is ridiculous that women put so much pressure on themselves to be presentable because of external motivation Why our self-care routines should serve us and have a place in our functionality How parenting responsibilities evolved for Heidi to finally allow her to take time for yourself Why the best advice around self-care tasks is to find what works best for YOU  Resources: Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we are covering an important topic today, but maybe not in the way you expect. I’m joined by Rachel Mulholland (aka Shug CM), a therapist whom I met on TikTok because of her incredible content around sex education for children. Today’s focus is on how our lives as adults are impacted if we don’t get comprehensive sex education as children. Join us for the conversation! Show Highlights: How KC’s story from her teenage years illustrates the gaps that most people have in their education about sex and the fact that sex ed is NOT a one-time conversation How “purity culture” is impacting teenagers in certain places in the US in damaging ways How even most comprehensive sex ed doesn’t address the pleasurable side of sex–and (for females) that the pleasure doesn’t have to come from another person How sexual predators take advantage of the lack of information in sex ed from SAFE places Why parents have real fear about talking to their kids about sex ed The effects of NOT educating kids that sex and pleasure don’t always go together Rachel’s Four Pillars of Safe Sex: confirmation, communication, lubrication, and enthusiastic participation Why parents should be aware when their kids are ready to hear and learn–and begin at the most basic level appropriate for their age How to answer those first little-kid questions around, “Where do babies come from?” Why curiosity is a foundational part of body talk for kids–not just around sexuality How parents can work through their own feelings around sex ed with their children Why Rachel’s next project is a book about body talk Resources: Connect with Rachel: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and Website (coming soon!) Recommended by Rachel: How Do You Make A Baby by Anna Fiske Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve thought about finding a counselor or therapist, you know it can seem overwhelming. Remember that those first few sessions are essentially a time for YOU to interview the therapist to see if there are good vibes and a good fit for you. Don’t be intimidated by the process! I’m breaking it down with tips and advice about finding the right therapist for you. Join me for this episode! Show Highlights: The basics: What is the difference between therapy and counseling? A breakdown of different providers and what they do: psychiatrist, psychologist, therapists, and counselors How to find a provider–with and without insurance (Visit my Shop at www.strugglecare.com to download my FREE pdf file, Finding a Therapist.) How to contact a provider when you’ve chosen one and what to say (Hint: It matters whether your private insurance is a PPO or HMO.) What to ask during the first phone call about scheduling constraints, experience with your specific issue, typical sessions, etc. Why it is OK to go into the first session with questions of your own What you should communicate to the provider during the first session How to ask the provider about their supervision, cancellation policies, emergencies sessions or phone calls How to tell the provider that they aren’t a good fit for you Probing questions you can ask to determine any biases/prejudices your provider might have around religion, spirituality, interventions, faith, LGBTQ people, gender identity, sexuality, psychiatric medications How to figure out the therapist qualities that matter most to you  Safety resources in the US (See Resources below for details.) Resources: If you are in a domestic violence situation and need safety now, call the 24-hour hotline 1-800-799-7233. If you are under 18 and need help, safety, counseling, or services, text “Safe” with your address, city, and state to 44357. The Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) is America’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. If you’ve been assaulted and need help, call their hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE.   Lifeline Suicide Help can be reached at 1-800-273-8255. They provide 24-hour free and confidential support to people in distress who need crisis resources. The Trevor Project is a chat, text, and phone support line for LGBTQ youth in crisis. They provide peer programs and resources. Reach them at www.thetrevorproject.com.  NEXT Distro is an online and email-based harm reduction service designed to reduce the opioid overdose death rate, prevent injection-related disease transmission, and improve the lives of those who use drugs. Find them at www.nextdistro.org.  Never Use Alone can be reached if you choose to use drugs alone. Their operator will stay on the line with you while you use and notify emergency services if you stop responding. Find them at www.neverusealone.com and 800-484-3731.  Connect with KC:  Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website (Find the FREE pdf, Finding a Good Therapist, under the “Shop” tab.) Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are focusing on one particular aspect of self-care today with therapist and professional organizer Amanda Dodson of Nesting Your Life. I love learning more about how these two roles intersect in helping people with real-life problems. Join us to learn more from Amanda! Show Highlights: Why Amanda became interested in “low-energy care of self” Why it is difficult to accept that you aren’t physically, mentally, and emotionally capable of doing the things you want to do How Amanda explains the “Spoon Theory” of energy An explanation of diminished energy and the blame and frustration that come with it Why resources for self-care should think outside the box regarding the unseen rules we live by Why budgeting your energy differently requires a sort of “mourning” the death of your able-bodied self as life changes occur How societal messages about dealing with low-energy cater to the well people Why neurodivergent people tend to have off-balance eating habits How Amanda helps her clients aim for regular eating routines to be in touch with their hunger and fullness cues Where to start if your home is not functional (Just take the first step!) How sensory issues factor into low-energy self-care—and how to address them  Why motivation pairing can be a real game-changer in making undesirable tasks more tolerable Why Amanda sees it as an important part of her work to help men become more involved in the care of their homes  Resources: Connect with Amanda Dodson: TikTok and Website Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode is a conversation in which Ellie Pike, host of the Mental Note podcast (this episode first aired on 2/27/23), and I discuss my adult ADHD diagnosis and the workarounds I’ve learned to get things done and function in my life. Join us! Show Highlights: KC’s background as a messy person whose life changed dramatically when her two children were born How KC had to learn how to keep a functional home in a totally new phase of life How an ADHD diagnosis as a young mother made sense of her whole life Why KC’s ADHD diagnosis was “missed” during childhood and youth because she didn’t “fit the mold” Why ADHD is NOT simply the inability to pay attention How success in school changed for KC during college when most of the work was to be done outside of class How ADHD affects what is going on in the brain, regardless of external behavior that may appear normal What KC has put in place to help her finish necessary tasks, even when they don’t interest her The difference between motivation and task initiation–and why we treat them differently How ADHD medication changed everything for KC Why late-diagnosed adults with ADHD usually hit some kind of barrier, event, or transition that brings everything to a crisis point The connection between KC’s depressive episodes and isolation, under-stimulation, and boredom KC’s advice for listeners about creating systems that work WITH your brain: “Do a little, and do it as a person that deserves to function.” Why KC’s message is that “care tasks are morally neutral” and have nothing to do with someone being a worthwhile human being  Resources: Connect with Ellie Pike and find out more about the Eating Recovery Center and Mood and Anxiety Center: www.mentalnotepodcast.com   Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices