What if our cities were designed with children participating in the process? What they would prioritize might surprise us all! My guest, Mara Mintzer, did a TEDx talk on the topic of including children in the city planning process, and she’s been involved in this kind of unique child-friendly endeavor in Boulder, Colorado, as the co-founder and Executive Director of Growing Up Boulder. Join us as we take a look at this topic! Show Highlights: Mara’s background and current role in Boulder, CO Public spaces aren’t often designed for children (and mothers). The United Nations guidelines for human rights for those under 18 years of age Wisdom from the tiniest voices about slowing down, enjoying the world around us, and noticing our experiences on life’s journey The Nature Everywhere Initiative in cities across the US Are we supporting kids’ development with our public spaces? The value in having culturally relevant third spaces for kids What would a teen-friendly park look like? Hearing the voices of many diverse groups that have been traditionally excluded Feedback from people about what they want in their communities Promoting involvement from kids to understand their issues and craft workable solutions A few unexpected things that kids want in their spaces The dilemma for parents in kid-friendly restaurants with “adult food” AND “kid food” More relaxed parenting in other countries and better work-life balance Resources and Links: Connect with Mara Mintzer: Growing Up Boulder Mentioned in this episode: The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Returning to school as a neurodivergent adult brings unique challenges, and we are discussing all aspects of this topic in today’s episode. I’m joined by “The Neuro-Spicy Student,” Amber, to share her experience and perspective on this topic. Join us! Show Highlights: Amber’s “alphabet soup” of diagnoses, misdiagnoses, and disabilities Amber’s childhood experience in school Two sides of the coin for most neurodivergent students Amber’s story of multiple attempts at college and (finally) earning multiple degrees Internal barriers in returning to school as an adult A common experience for adults with ADHD: Learning and learning and learning—without formal degrees to show for it Differences in going to school as an older student with accommodations Finding empowerment in advocating for yourself–and healing your younger self Specific accommodations you can ask for in college Amber’s parting words for listeners considering a return to school Resources and Links: Connect with Amber: LinkedIn Explore more from The Neuro-Spicy Student: Linktree Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How are your fighting skills? Most couples could use a LOT of work in this area, and I have just the person to help us! I’m thrilled to be joined by a great friend, Lindley Gentile, for today’s episode. She’s a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who recently wrote an ebook titled, How to Have the Best Fight of Your Life. Listen to our conversation about this thought-provoking topic and learn why looking for right and wrong is the WORST way to handle conflict.  Show Highlights: Lindley’s motivation to write this book? Because many (most!) couples seek therapy around communication issues Fighting well leads to being seen well. The need to uplevel your fighting skill set beyond being “right or wrong” Ways in which we are fighting wrong Making the shift from arguing about who’s right to witnessing one another The fable of the elephant can teach us about being open to another’s experience. The value of “I” statements over “You” statements Withdrawing physically and emotionally during conflict vs. the skill of asking for a pause Fight, flight, or freeze The WWC framework: witness, witness, and collaborate Resources and Links: Connect with Lindley Gentile and Austin Couples Concierge: Website, Instagram, and book Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode will be helpful for all parents—and for anyone who has ever been a child. We are discussing OCD, specifically in children, with Natasha Daniels. She has been an anxiety and OCD child therapist for over two decades. As the mother of three kids with anxiety and OCD, her passion and perspective is both professional and personal. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: OCD differs from general anxiety and requires very specific therapies. Signs of OCD, a diverse, idiosyncratic disorder that shows up differently for each person In children, a common sign of OCD is the tendency to ask theme-based, repetitive questions. Is it anxiety or OCD?  Autism and OCD: Comfort/coping skills or compulsion? When does my child need professional help? How do I know? OCD or nervous tics? A discussion of mental health issues in families, social anxiety, neuroplasticity, and addiction Finding “the sweet spot” as a parent (so as not to coddle but not fuel anxiety) The best approach: parents can refuse to participate in the “overblownness” and drama while not being dismissive The wisdom in coaching our kids Resources and Links: Connect with Natasha Daniels: Website (find resources, courses, podcast episodes, and more) OCD Resources: International OCD Foundation and Treat My OCD Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s topic of adoption is a sensitive subject for many people. We are covering adoption from a different perspective as we talk to Stacy, an adult adoptee who belongs to a community of adult adoptees who are vehemently opposed to private infant adoption. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: Meet Stacy and learn her story An overview of differing views of adoption through the years (Are new laws needed?) Examples of laws that are drawing negative feedback from adult adoptees The expense of private infant adoption and the ethical dilemma of a more systemic problem The ratio of parents looking to adopt and available infants A closer look at adoption theology and open adoption The US system that contributes to the number of desperate pregnant women and creates the perfect storm for exploitation, pressure, and propaganda What adopted kids need to know The adoption industry needs a different approach. The nuances of adoption out of foster care For many people, adoption into a “nice” family was/is a fantasy.  Stacy’s viewpoint on what to say–and what NOT to say–to adult adoptees Stacy’s message to adult adoptees Resources and Links: Connect with Stacy: TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode is a follow-up to Episode 65, The Dark Underside of Family Vlogging, Part 1, which aired almost a year ago. My guest from that episode, Cam, returns to discuss her reaction to a recent big development in the world of family vlogging. Cam grew up as the child of one of the first well-known “Mommy bloggers,” and is an international advocate for the children of influencers and family vloggers. She shares her perspective on the new California law. Join us! Show Highlights: Understanding the basics of the Child Content Creator Act in California to protect kids’ rights (similar laws are being passed in Illinois and Minnesota) Legal ramifications for parents who don’t follow “the 30% rule” Children on reality TV shows do NOT fall under the new law. Understanding the Coogan Law Cam’s perspective on the protections of the law for children—and what she wishes the law included “The right to forget”: what it means and why it’s not included in the law Cam’s thoughts about a recent scary cancer diagnosis in light of her past history with vulnerability at the hands of her mom’s vlog Growing up with NO boundaries or privacy Laws in CA, IL, and MN to protect kids from being exploited Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode covers the topics of bullying, meanness, and conflict. My guest is uniquely qualified to share her wisdom and expertise, which she did in a TEDx talk. Bullying or meanness: what’s the difference, and how do we recognize the two? Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: ● Dr. Eileen’s background as a clinical psychologist and author ● The specific criteria in the definition of bullying ● Empowering our kids to withstand meanness without taking a victim stance: “Conflict is inevitable.” ● Bullying has become “a thought-stopping cliche.” ● Meanness and bullying in the online world ● Vulnerability in being a content creator and dealing with feedback ● A better approach with kids: “Whose opinion matters to you?” ● The truth about self-esteem and a “quiet ego” ● Connecting with something greater than ourselves ● Helping kids learn self-compassion rather than self-esteem (Dr. Eileen teaches a “reflect, but downshift” technique in her book, Kid Confidence.) ● Dr. Eileen’s formula for teaching reflection to kids ● “Whose feelings are most important?” ● Validating and normalizing kids’ feelings (by following their lead) by offering empathy and confidence ● Being your kids “biased biographer” ● Learning to “stay in the water” instead of standing on the edge of the pool ● “Testing the water” to pull back on accommodations Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore: Website (Find books for parents and kids!) and Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic podcast, Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I have an honest confession to make. I am a terrible budgeter, but I’m a world-class financial goldfish. In this episode, I’ll explain my “financial goldfish” status and budgeting for our neurodiverse brains. I’m joined by Jill Sirianni, host of the Frugal Friends Podcast. If you’re like me, and budgeting just doesn’t work for you, you’ll learn a lot from our conversation. Join us! Show Highlights: Characteristics of a financial goldfish Budgets–the diet of the financial landscape (and they don’t work any more than diets do for most people) Top reasons we fall victim to impulse buying The myth of “Wants vs. Needs” The downfalls of typical antiquated budgeting Creativity in meeting needs without spending Jill’s 90-day transaction inventory Helpful online tools A moral problem vs. a systemic problem KC’s helpful hack to be more thoughtful before spending impulsively (like late-night DoorDash) Jill’s tips for creating a pause before spending: keep a list and buy second-hand Understanding the marketing behind sales Making choices about your behavior today that may not align with spending habits held up as the “standard” Understanding values-based spending In finances, one size does NOT fit all.  Resources and Links: Connect with Jill Sirianni and Frugal Friends: Frugal Friends Podcast and Buy What You Love Without Going Broke book by Jen Smith and Jill Sirianni (pre-order now!) Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is about liberation, revolution, and social justice. We are tackling these topics from a practical perspective with my guest, Nat. Join us! Nat Vikitsreth is a licensed clinical social worker who works with families who want to practice social justice in their daily lives but are torn between acting in their communities and at home. She helps them bridge the gap despite being tired, overwhelmed, and stretched too thin. Holding space for their beautiful intentions and walking with them on this journey are Nat’s passions.   Show Highlights: Nat’s background as a transgender woman from Thailand who has become a clinician and a social justice organizer Trying to honor our values about liberation at home and in the community Being your own ally first with agility and awareness of your available bandwidth Learning to hold space for accountability The root causes of our suffering: white supremacy, colonialism, capitalism, and patriarchy Leading with compassion in action instead of punishment What it means to be truly humble Nat’s advice for parents Finding the sweet spot between discomfort and boundaries Being realistic in your family about what causes you can support and take action on with your limited capacity Nat’s words of advice about actions beyond the “sexy actions” to take Resources and Links: Connect with Nat Vikitsreth: Website and Come Back to Care Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when a loved one won’t seek the mental health treatment that they obviously need? We are looking at the very important topic of mental health from the perspective of your concern for a loved one who might be resistant to asking for help, and what you can do about it. I’m joined by Dr. Alec Pollard, a co-author of When A Loved One Won't Seek Mental Health Treatment: How to Promote Recovery and Reclaim Your Family’s Well-Being. With a long career as a clinical psychologist, he is the founding director of the St. Louis Behavioral Medicine Institute. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: Dr. Pollard’s background and four decades of experience as a psychologist  Turning his focus to help those who are concerned about their loved one’s mental health Dr. Pollard explains The Family Well-Being Approach/Consultation Two types of accommodations that loved ones make: commission and omission Differentiation between appropriate and inappropriate accommodations for a loved one Recovery avoidance: a pattern of behavior that is inconsistent with the process of recovery Creating opportunities for a loved one to get better through support, incentives, and positive rewards Dr. Pollard’s book and its approach of finding a balance between long-term planning and crisis management Dr. Pollard’s takeaway about his book as his proudest achievement in his career Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Alec Pollard: St. Louis Behavioral Medicine Institute and When A Loved One Won't Seek Mental Health Treatment Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you joined us for last week’s episode, you know that we promised Part 2 of my conversation with Franchesca Ramsey. She brings an expert perspective on the various aspects of content creation, like authenticity, compassion, handling negative comments, the value of listening, and more. Franchesca Ramsey is an actor, writer, public speaker, and longtime content creator. She wrote and performed in the web series MTV Decoded, where she tackled race, pop culture, and other uncomfortable topics. Other notable accomplishments include writing for The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore and a nomination for an NAACP award for one of the best books of 2018: Well, That Escalated Quickly: Memoirs and Mistakes of an Accidental Activist. Franchesca shares her expertise and insights about guarding your mental health as a content creator. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: The skills we lack in being human, trusting each other, and genuinely calling someone IN The public vs. private sphere of an online presence Listening, forgiving, and doing the right thing Hard-earned perspectives on hot takes and being silent What’s your WHY for content creation? Handling critical and negative comments on social media Being authentic in content creation means sometimes logging off. KC’s thoughts on her WHY as a content creator Resources and Links: Connect with Franchesca Ramsey: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and book Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode is a conversation I’ve been wanting to have for awhile, and I’ve found the perfect person for this topic. Franchesca Ramsey is an actor, writer, public speaker, and longtime content creator. She wrote and performed in the web series MTV Decoded, where she tackled race, pop culture, and other uncomfortable topics. Other notable accomplishments include writing for The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore and a nomination for an NAACP award for one of the best books of 2018: Well, That Escalated Quickly: Memoirs and Mistakes of an Accidental Activist. Franchesca shares her expertise and insights on longevity and mental health as a content creator. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: Burnout is real in the content creation world. Lessons learned about life and authenticity as a content creator, influencer, and vlogger Are you putting your time and energy in the wrong place? You have to censor yourself EVERY day! Impulsive reactions on social media can have severe consequences. Give yourself space to step back. Prioritizing joy in your content and not reacting with anger The nature of social media Strengthening internal boundaries by getting comfortable with being misunderstood Thoughts on cancel culture and negative backlash Our conversation is so good that we don’t want it to end. We will continue with Part 2 with Franchesca in next week’s episode! Resources and Links: Connect with Franchesca Ramsey: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and book Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join us for today’s interesting conversation about ethics, boundaries, suffering, bullying, and being online/offline. There are many facets to these topics as they intertwine with morality, and we are diving into a discussion with Ellie Rushton,  Show Highlights: Ellie’s background, work, and TikTok content about “cultivating bold spaces” Ellie’s definition of bullying: “doing something harmful several times on purpose for the sake of someone’s suffering” Thoughts on bullying and why people do it Holding someone accountable vs. bullying—what’s the difference? Ellie’s perspective on online comments to others’ content Thoughts on the roots of inequality, oppression, and suffering—and the problem with categorizing “good” and “bad” people People are afraid of embodying compassion. What is effective in online spaces Thoughts about boundaries, revenge, and retribution Standing up for what you believe while holding yourself accountable Resources and Links: Connect with Ellie: TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

🌟 Taking a Break! 🌟 Hey everyone! I am taking a short break for August to recharge and prepare exciting new content for you. I’ll be back in September with fresh episodes and engaging conversations. Thanks for your support and patience. Stay tuned for what’s coming next! Today, we are covering an important topic today, but maybe not in the way you expect. I’m joined by Rachel Mulholland (aka Shug CM), a therapist whom I met on TikTok because of her incredible content around sex education for children. Today’s focus is on how our lives as adults are impacted if we don’t get comprehensive sex education as children. Join us for the conversation! Show Highlights: How KC’s story from her teenage years illustrates the gaps that most people have in their education about sex and the fact that sex ed is NOT a one-time conversation How “purity culture” is impacting teenagers in certain places in the US in damaging ways How even most comprehensive sex ed doesn’t address the pleasurable side of sex–and (for females) that the pleasure doesn’t have to come from another person How sexual predators take advantage of the lack of information in sex ed from SAFE places Why parents have real fear about talking to their kids about sex ed The effects of NOT educating kids that sex and pleasure don’t always go together Rachel’s Four Pillars of Safe Sex: confirmation, communication, lubrication, and enthusiastic participation Why parents should be aware when their kids are ready to hear and learn–and begin at the most basic level appropriate for their age How to answer those first little-kid questions around, “Where do babies come from?” Why curiosity is a foundational part of body talk for kids–not just around sexuality How parents can work through their own feelings around sex ed with their children Why Rachel’s next project is a book about body talk Resources: Connect with Rachel: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and Website (coming soon!) Recommended by Rachel: How Do You Make A Baby by Anna Fiske Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

🌟 Taking a Break! 🌟 Hey everyone! I am taking a short break for August to recharge and prepare exciting new content for you. I’ll be back in September with fresh episodes and engaging conversations. Thanks for your support and patience. Stay tuned for what’s coming next! I’m excited to have Danita Platt on the show today. I didn’t know anyone of color in the field of care tasks until I met her. Her content resonates with me and my views around care tasks, so I hope you’ll enjoy hearing more from Danita! Show Highlights: Who Danita is and how she became an expert on gentle care tasks How our society over the last two generations has moralized care tasks and tied them to the worth of a woman Why we need to rethink our views about care tasks and “being a good woman” that go back to the founding of the US, historically speaking How the concept of “invisible labor” has carried over from colonial days even to today How many white people were able to live the lives they did because of the cheap, exploitable labor of Black women How the Great Migration happened to move many Black families to northern cities from the South How the shift happened to push Black (and white) women to work industrial jobs while men were away during the war How the push is recurring for 1950s homemaking to be viewed as the superior role for women What we DON’T talk about in the fulfilling life of a homemaker How Danita chooses to honor the Black women who had to wash clothes, clean house, and cook meals under duress–with no freedom or choice of their own What Danita would say to women who want to live more joyfully in their homes and experience more freedom and quality of life Resources: Connect with Danita: TikTok and Instagram Mentioned in this episode: Sisters in Hate: American Women on the Front Lines of White Nationalism Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

🌟 Taking a Break! 🌟 Hey everyone! I am taking a short break for August to recharge and prepare exciting new content for you. I’ll be back in September with fresh episodes and engaging conversations. Thanks for your support and patience. Stay tuned for what’s coming next! I’m back with one of my favorite guests who is always up for the challenge of a podcast–no matter what the topic is! I want to explore the term rejection sensitivity dysphoria and get Dr. Lesley Cook’s take on it because I have so many questions. Let’s learn more together!  Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who works with those with ADHD and other kinds of neurodivergence. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families. Show Highlights: ●      What RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria) is and how it is manifested ●      KC’s personal experience with RSD and feelings of worthlessness ●      How RSD is different from sensory sensitivity and autism ●      Thoughts about the strong word dysphoria in RSD ●      KC’s personal experience with RSD and being told she is “too sensitive” ●      How we can grow, change, and find regulatory strategies for RSD ●      Why it is difficult to communicate the facets and nuances of RSD and other interpersonal difficulties Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Lesley Cook: TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

🌟 Taking a Break! 🌟 Hey everyone! I am taking a short break for August to recharge and prepare exciting new content for you. I’ll be back in September with fresh episodes and engaging conversations. Thanks for your support and patience. Stay tuned for what’s coming next! I’m excited about today’s guest because she has had a huge influence on me. I can confidently say that finding her research on self-compassion was a turning point in my healing journey. Do you need more self-compassion? Join us to learn more! Dr. Kristin Neff is a renowned psychologist, self-care researcher, and author. Her work has had a profound impact on the field of psychology and has helped countless people cultivate self-acceptance and resilience.  Show Highlights: How self-compassion became Dr. Kristin’s main area of research Understanding self-esteem vs. self-compassion The three components of self-compassion: mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness How self-esteem creates comparison and social disconnection by being conditional and unstable How self-compassion gives the gift of authenticity The difference between fierce self-compassion and tender self-compassion How self-compassion helps us get past our shame Why self-compassion doesn’t mean indulgence Pathways and blocks to self-compassion The connection between self-compassion and psychological functioning How self-compassion helps when we fail and make mistakes Why the goal of practicing self-compassion is to be simply a compassionate mess who is completely human Why the practice of self-compassion has to start small with baby steps of warmth and support (What would you say to a friend?) A look at Dr. Kristin’s latest book, Fierce Self-Compassion How anger fits into self-compassion Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Kristin and find many helpful resources: Website Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our deep dive into ABA and autism continues in this episode. Today’s guest recently finished her Ph.D. in Education, focusing on disability studies and related research in the world of DEI. Dr. Robin Roscigno helps educate parents about neurodiversity to create a more inclusive world for neurodiverse individuals. She posts frequently on social media platforms about autism and autism therapies. Her studies and life experiences give her both a professional and personal relationship to this topic because of her brother’s childhood diagnosis of autism. Robin was also diagnosed with autism along with her young daughter and began navigating the therapy world as a parent who struggled to find therapies that are affirming. After leaving teaching to pursue her Ph.D., she now focuses on autism intervention and challenging the dominant paradigms.  Show Highlights: Understanding what ABA therapy is and why there is such controversy around this topic The dilemma for parents in the “explosive landscape” of ABA Understanding behaviorism as a therapeutic approach The old-school ABA therapy and its focus on eye contact How current autism therapies are designed to make people appear “less autistic” and “fit in more” in the world The need for wisdom and a harm-reduction approach in therapies Choosing a school program for your child based on goals and techniques and not a binary (ABA:good or ABA: bad) approach The foundation of neurotypical norms (like eye contact) in connection, relationships, and social referencing—-which we ALL need Teaching social referencing in affirming ways that help develop skills Looking for red/green flags in assessing specific goals and techniques from an advocacy perspective Unrealistic expectations of autistic kids and their parents   Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Robin Roscigno: Website, TikTok, LinkedIn, Instagram, and TEDx Talk: “Your Autistic Child Can Have a Great Life. Here’s How” Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For several recent episodes, I’ve been interviewing people with autism about their perspectives and experiences. We are discussing the DSM criteria, stereotypes about autism, and how autism affects the lives of both children and adults. An autism diagnosis can have many different nuances, and there is so much more to autism than the DSM criteria. Today’s guest, Kerry Magro, shares his experience in this episode. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: Kerry’s growing up years with mostly communication and sensory-based challenges, love and support from his family, and his success as a professional certified speaker Kerry’s various college and graduate degrees Stereotypes about autism Understanding autism as a true spectrum with a wide range of complexities and strengths Kerry’s challenges with eye contact and other social norms Understanding “autism burnout,” masking, representation, and “honoring” the disability Kerry’s perspective on autism and relationships “Repetitive and restricted behaviors” in adulthood Kerry’s experience as an adult, dealing with sensory sensitivities and learning to speak up for accommodations Kerry’s experience with autism and physical touch Advice for parents Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you heard our episode from a couple of weeks ago, you know we discussed Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). Today, we are looking at the controversy surrounding ABA, why many people are in favor of it, and why many people oppose it. My guest, Taylor, is a BCBA, a board-certified behavior analyst, so let’s discuss this topic and learn more from her. Show Highlights: An explanation of ABA and the role of a BCBA The language of ABA: desired behaviors, undesired behaviors, behavior contrast, punishment, replacement behaviors, injurious behaviors, tantrum behaviors, etc. Taylor’s story about going to an ABA conference The historical harm that ABA has done to autistic children The dehumanizing aspects of ABA Is the goal of ABA to make an autistic child seem less autistic? Therapies covered by health insurance for an autistic child: speech, occupational, and ABA The side of ABa that no one talks about ABA: helpful, traumatizing, or distressing? Taylor’s path to becoming a BCBA An autism diagnosis does NOT mean that you need ABA. A look at a typical ABA session (even though each session is highly individualized to the needs of each person) Taylor’s top three things that can be done to better serve autistic people Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As we continue with our series on autism, I’m joined by Kathleen Walker for today’s bonus episode. We discuss the basic criteria for autism, her experience as a child with an early diagnosis, what it’s like for an autistic person to “play by the rules” of business etiquette in the workplace, and her advice for parents of autistic children. Join us to learn more from Kathleen! Show Highlights: The first criteria for autism: “persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction” Kathleen’s perspective on her social communication and interactions as an early-diagnosed child Examples of how an autistic person might “miss things” in interaction and communication Challenges for the autistic person in a professional career vs. in personal relationships Masking and modified behaviors to be accepted Kathleen’s suggestion for rewriting the DSM criteria based on communication/interaction Helping autistic kids feel comfortable and navigate the world in their own ways Kathleen’s experience with social difficulties around conversations, nonverbal cues, and anxiety For an autistic person, connection in relationships might not be a top priority in life. Kathleen’s experience with “repetitive and restrictive interests, rituals, and schedules Kathleen’s advice for parents of autistic children Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode Psychologist Lesley PsyD discusses Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy, particularly in the context of autism, during Autism Awareness Month. This conversation aims to provide a neutral and factual overview of ABA, exploring its principles, applications, and the diverse perspectives surrounding it. Lesley explains ABA's focus on understanding and modifying behavior through reinforcement and environmental adjustments. They address the benefits and risks of ABA, emphasizing the importance of individualized approaches and naturalistic learning. Show Highlights: Overview of Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy and its relevance to autism. Clarification of ABA terminology and its practical applications. Discussion of the emotional and controversial nature of ABA therapy. Examination of the challenges parents face in accessing appropriate therapies for children with autism. Importance of understanding behavior in context, including antecedents and consequences. Exploration of the benefits and risks associated with ABA practices. Critique of the focus on compliance and neurotypical standards in ABA. The role of reinforcement in behavior modification and its implications for intrinsic motivation. Discussion of the need for individualized approaches to therapy that respect children's unique experiences. Advocacy for a compassionate and nuanced understanding of autism and behavior analysis. Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, you’ll hear from three guests about their autism experience and their perspectives on common stereotypes about autism around communication, relationships, and more. This is a bonus follow-up to our most recent episode about autism with Kaelynn Partlow. Join us as we explore autism further with Syd, Atlas, and Sapphire. I’m happy to have them here to share their insights.  Show Highlights: Meet Syd, a 22-year-old post-grad student who is self-diagnosed as autistic and ADHD: Thoughts on relationships, unmasking, and “quality over quantity”  Being yourself in a world that isn’t always welcoming to your kind Cultivating a special (and rare!) interest in learning and education Meet Atlas, who was self-diagnosed at age 16: Identifying with autistic characters on a favorite TV show What it’s like to pick up on other people’s perceptions of your weirdness Autistic traits that Atlas recognized from childhood about obsessive routines Meet Sapphire, who was identified as autistic in 5th grade but not diagnosed until age 19: Nuances around communication, conversations, and awkward silences The common misunderstandings about what a relationship with an autistic person can be like Using an “Excel spreadsheet in my brain” to catalog each person Relationships and the need for “alone time” to decompress Sapphire’s advice to parents who are hesitant to have their child tested/diagnosed Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy Autism Awareness Month! Yes–I know that was in April, but I have ADHD and am easily distracted. I’ve procrastinated for more than a year on doing some really great episodes about autism because I want to do justice to this topic. I’m starting with an amazing TikTokker, Kaelynn Partlow. I’ve followed her for quite a while, but you might know Kaelynn from Netflix’s Love on the Spectrum. Kaelynn shares about autism from her personal experience and her professional work with autistic kids. She was diagnosed at age 10 with autism, dyslexia, dyscalculia, and ADHD. Her background provides a unique perspective on advocacy that is worth our attention. Join us! Show Highlights: Specific criteria (from the DSM) for autism—and Kaelynn’s experience with each one Persistent deficits in social communication and interaction Restrictive or repeated behavior Kaelynn’s experience in making and maintaining friendships while growing up and now Masking: What it is and what it feels like The nuances of eye contact: not enough or too much? All autistic behaviors ARE human behaviors. Stimming from an autistic perspective and a non-autistic perspective Kaelynn’s special interests, routines, and self-imposed “rules” Kaelynn’s experience with sensory issues: noises, fabrics, etc.  Kaelynn’s perspective on physical touch (Most autistic people don’t like physical touch.) Kaelynn’s diagnosis at age 10 (after the assumption that she was genius-level intelligent.) Autism is NOT an invisible disability! Kaelynn’s reflection on her childhood and helpful therapies and treatments Kaelynn’s thoughts on common ADA controversies Kaelynn’s advice to those who might fear being “labeled” if they pursue testing for themselves or their child What Kaelynn sees as the biggest misunderstanding about autism today Resources and Links: Connect with Kaelynn Partlow: TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook **Look for Kaelynn’s book, Life on the Bridge, to be released this summer! Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are back for Part 2 of a fascinating discussion with Derrick Hoard, a licensed marriage and family therapist, TikTokker, and video game aficionado. We left off in last week’s episode talking about how some people rely too heavily on gaming for their coping skills in life and how “mindful gaming” can go beyond simply pushing buttons and help in many ways. The conflict over video games extends beyond partner relationships and definitely leads to challenges for parents and their kids. Let’s explore this topic with Derrick! Show Highlights: Myths and misconceptions about video games from a parent’s perspective Being mindful means using as many of the five senses as possible and being purposeful. Video games can lead to emotional connection, learning, and many problem-solving skills. Derrick’s perspective on gamers who play a variety of games: good or bad? Thoughts on the benefits of games like Skyrim and Mass Effect The value of a collaborative approach by parents who get involved in a child’s gaming life respectfully and appropriately The benefits of video games for neurodivergent kids, overall mental health, and therapeutic approaches The key for parents of gamers: accepting video games as ways to promote mindfulness, deep conversations, true interest, growth, skill development, curiosity, and maturity Resources and Links: Connect with Derrick Hoard: Website, TikTok, and the Mindful Gaming Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Struggle Care, where we talk about all things individual and systemic that affect your life, wellness, and mental health. Joining me is Derrick Hoard, a licensed marriage and family therapist, TikTokker, and video game aficionado. I’ve followed him since 2020, and I love his thoughts and perspectives. Today’s topic, video games and relationships, stirs up some strong reactions and opinions, but you will walk away from this episode with a fresh and thoughtful view of the hobbies we all enjoy in our lives. Let’s get into it! Show Highlights: Video games are misunderstood and not recognized for what they are—the most beautiful, immersive forms of storytelling that exist. Men can get in touch with emotions through playing video games. Video games get unjustly blamed for communication problems in relationships. Video games comprise a safe space of non-judgment where one can feel confident and competent.  Thoughts about men in therapy, gender dynamics, and emotional labor Consideration and honesty in relationships about our hobbies Society’s expectation of productivity leads us to feel shame and guilt about our hobbies. This is so wrong! Understanding how to have honest and authenticity in our relationships—from the start Red flags to look for when video games (or other obsessive hobbies) become our ONLY coping skills in life3 Resources and Links: Connect with Derrick Hoard: Website, TikTok, and the Mindful Gaming Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you want to bring sexy back into your life? This concept encompasses much more than actual sex, but it reaches to the inner depths of a woman’s core identity, vitality, and attitudes about life. This episode was prompted by the response to a recent TikTok in which I commented about how I’ve rediscovered things about myself here in my late 30s as my kids are a bit older and I have more time to myself. The response was big, with many questions about what I’ve done. I hate to say that there really is no big secret, but this topic is well worth exploring, so I’m bringing in my good friend, Lindley Gentile, a licensed marriage and family therapist. She is an expert who works specifically with women around rediscovering their sexiness, or perhaps, learning to discover it for the first time.  Show Highlights: Contributing factors to why women lose their individuality and sexiness The roles women fall into throughout life’s phases—without any renegotiation with their partner Sexiness in identity is about MUCH more than having sex. Being “turned on” is about aliveness, vitality, positivity, and a vibration of your soul. Care tasks create a barrier to pleasure. Sex is like a playground for fun and pleasure, and the aging woman can have more fun at the playground. Aging women, what they wear, and feeling sexy Sexiness is about energy and how you feel. False messages from society around fatphobia, suppression, and ideology Fantasy is a gift and a power that can overcome our tendency to overthink. Lindley’s starting point with women who want to rediscover their sexiness Lindley’s recommended reading for every woman: Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski Resources and Links: Connect with Lindley Gentile: Website, TikTok, and Austin Couples Concierge Counseling Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As usual, we are talking about all things mental health, wellness, and topics that matter to us both individually and systemically. I’m excited to be joined by Parker Bushman, the founder and CEO of Ecoinclusive Strategies and the Inclusive Journeys Guide. Ecoinclusive Strategies is a consulting firm that works with conservation-based organizations, environmental organizations, and nonprofits around diversity, equality, and inclusion. Join us! Show Highlights: Nature should be free and accessible to ALL! The existing disparities in neighborhoods, tree cover, park access, and open spaces Racist roots of the conservation movement Messages of elitism among “outdoorsy” people Things that have been baked into our ideas about who gets to be outside and enjoy it–We need to break down the barriers! Thoughts about able-ism and outdoor spaces Parker’s consulting work with organizations doing wildland restoration, community engagement, and DEI work Building community through engagement, information, collaboration, and empowerment Systemic issues that prevent outdoor access Parker’s advice to everyone about finding outdoor activities that you enjoy Resources and Links: Connect with Parker Bushman and Ecoinclusive Strategies: Website, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are continuing with the topic of trad wives, but we are taking a different angle in this conversation. I’m joined by Professor Neil Shyminsky, who is an English professor at Cambrian College in Sudbury, Ontario. He doesn’t teach a lot about literature but likes to focus on media studies, gender/sexuality studies, and socio-political thought. We begin with a clip of Professor Neil explaining the concept of the “leisure class” as it relates to trad wife content. Join us! Show Highlights: The “other” side of trad wife content: an idealized performance of domesticity and romanticization of a woman’s role Professor Neil defines “the leisure class.” Don’t always believe the story the camera shows! (It’s all carefully curated content!) Social signals in how we “perform” our gender Trad wives as the moral purity status symbol of their husband’s godliness and enjoyers of God’s richest blessings from living a life of submission Thinking critically is key to understanding the truth about the values they promote. The difference between liking traditionally feminine things and being a content creator who makes active choices about how they present their enjoyment of traditionally feminine things The comparison between trad wife content and MLMs Professor Neil’s advice: “Be thoughtful and self-reflective in what you consume.” Resources and Links: Connect with Professor Neil Shyminsky: TikTok, Instagram, X, and LinkedIn Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Buckle up for this one! We are discussing the interesting topic of trad wives, the psychology of anti-feminism, and the pushback/feedback we are seeing on TikTok. If you aren’t sure what any of that means, stay with us, and we will explain. I’m joined by my good friend and frequent guest on the show, clinical psychologist, Dr. Lesley Cook.  Show Highlights: A montage of trad wife audio content The overriding philosophy of trad wife content: the good way vs. the bad way (with no in-between) KC’s definition of a trad wife: “a woman who chooses to stay home, submit to her husband, and embrace traditional gender roles because they believe God says they will be happier” (usually with undertones of homeschooling, homesteading, and political/religious agendas) The correlation between mainstream marketing, multi-level marketing, and trad wife philosophy: they all create the myth around what they are trying to sell The psychology of instability, isolation, loneliness, vulnerability, and a lack of belonging common in the trad wife movement Too much feminism OR not enough feminism?? Our responsibility as a global community of women to the problems of patriarchy Patriarchy, the myth, and the marketing campaign Scenarios in which a trad wife is trapped, isolated, overtaxed, and overwhelmed—but still believes the myth Traps that pop up in many areas with exploitive systems that can all be tied to money How we are consuming trad wife content with a romanticized view of the false narrative Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Lesley Cook: TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Please be advised that today’s episode is adult content; it’s not safe for work or little ears. We are talking all things kink with Sunny Megatron, a clinical sexologist, kink educator, and consultant. Join us for an interesting and informative conversation! Show Highlights: Understanding what kink really is—and how it measures up to the assumptions we have The difference between kink and a fetish Sunny explains “kink done well” and “kink done wrong” The concept of “aftercare” in kink Societal messages around sex that lead to shame, embarrassment, and an overall lack of open communication We don’t understand our sexual motivations. Stigma busting around sexual assault, trauma, and fantasy Red flags to look for in sexual power dynamics The slippery slope of fear (of what kink may lead to) Problems in kink relationships are the SAME problems in “vanilla sex” relationships!  Resources and Links: Connect with Sunny Megatron: Website, TikTok, and Instagram  Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you have felt the pressure to put meals on the table that adhere to the expectations of others, even when you could barely function in life, this episode is for you. I’m joined by Amy G.S.A. Brooks of Wandering Ames. She’s one of my favorite content creators who posts about the OK Kitchen. There is more to life than succumbing to societal pressure to prepare perfect, five-star meals. Join us!   Show Highlights:  ●      The beginnings of the OK Kitchen and the forming of a new community ●      Food insecurity and diet culture during the pandemic ●      Messages surround us everywhere about how we feed ourselves and fuel our bodies. ●      Thinking about preparing food for three meals every day seems like never-ending labor! ●      Meal plans can be a helpful tool–but should be set aside when needed. ●      Wasteful in food or wasteful in being unkind to ourselves? Which is worse? ●      Be willing to break the rules: dinner doesn’t have to be a big meal or a fancy production, and food plans should be simple and flexible. ●      The point of meals is to get what our bodies need.   Resources and Links: Connect with Amy G.S.A. Brooks: TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m joined today by Monica Packer, host of the About Progress podcast, as we talk about habits. Specifically, our discussion focuses on why the habit-forming advice out there written by men does not work for women. Join us!   Show Highlights:  ●      Monica’s background as a blogger and podcaster who had to “learn how to fail” ●      Understanding that perfectionism is a spectrum that affects our ability to form “good habits” ●      Monica’s lightbulb moment: “Maybe our methods are broken.” ●      The biggest difference between men’s and women’s habits: invisible labor ●      How invisible labor is defined–and what the statistics show ●      Examples of the mental load that women carry ●      Popular culture advice (about forming habits) that DOES NOT work ●      Monica’s tips for forming habits: redefine consistency, shift your view of habits, and start with the smallest and simplest form of the ideal ●      Bedtime Revenge Procrastination is real for many women! ●      The goal of habits is to support you—so do it YOUR way! ●      Understanding trade-offs and how they work for most women Resources and Links: Connect with Monica Packer: Website, About Progress Podcast, Instagram, and The Sticky Habit Intensive Course Books mentioned by Monica: Fair Play by Eve Rodsky and Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez  Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode is all about mental health, therapy, and being online as a therapist. We are diving in with my guest, DeeDee Wednesday, who has created a space for intentional healing and empowerment through therapy and leadership coaching. Join us to learn more!   Show Highlights:   ●      An overview of DeeDee’s work as a therapist in Louisiana ●      Traditional therapy is NOT today’s therapy. ●      An open mind, a balancing act, and showing up as an authentic therapist ●      Navigating the tricky world of TikTok (or any social media platform) as a therapist ●      DeeDee’s work to show up as a therapist when entitlement, racism, and white supremacy are at play ●      Understanding how moral perfectionism causes some people to act ●      Having a line that you won’t cross to “do no harm” ●      What it means to be self-aware ●      Dealing with difficult people ●      “Power is really the ability to choose.”   Resources and Links: Connect with DeeDee Wednesday: Website, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest   Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every mother needs to hear this conversation. It just doesn’t make sense that we put so much undue pressure on ourselves and are quick to criticize and judge other moms for their parenting styles. I’m joined today by Erica Djossa, the author of Releasing the Mother Load: How to Carry Less and Enjoy Motherhood More. We are talking about all things motherhood and expectations, why I’ve been blasted over a couple of recent TikToks, and Erica’s parenting wisdom from her book. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: ●      One of KC’s videos about how she “doesn’t play” with her kids—and the flurry of negative responses over parenting choices ●      The intensive mothering ideation: motherhood equals martyrdom, mothers must put everyone else’s needs about their own, shelve all their interests, and be self-sacrificial in every way ●      The second of KC’s videos about sending her dog away from home for training—and the flurry of anger and shame over her inadequacies as a dog owner ●      Mainstay pillars of the intensive mothering ideology and the BS that is promoted as healthy attachment and “good mothering” ●      Giving less can sometimes mean giving more. ●      The truth that shows up in the bedtime routine (“Are you holding space for yourself, mom?”) ●      The scope, dynamic, and importance of “independent play,” creativity, and solving problems ●      Healthy attachment: safety, security, reliability, and dependability ●      The space for moms to have unique and different personalities and mothering styles, like bedroom parents vs. living room parents ●      Projecting our mother wounds on other moms (Why do we do it?) ●      Understanding why not all NOs are equal ●      The disparity in expectations and judgment for moms and dads ●      Motherhood expectations, boundaries, and the stories we tell ourselves Resources and Links: Connect with Erica Djossa: Website, Instagram, Momwell Podcast, and Releasing the Mother Load book                        Mentioned by Erica: Needy by Mara Glatzel   Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I recently came across the content of Dr. Andrew Bauman, a licensed mental health counselor whose mission is to provide high-quality experiential, narrative-based psychotherapy from a Christian worldview. His writings display eye-opening perspectives on religion and relationships that we aren’t used to hearing from a male Christian leader. I’m joined by Dr. Andrew to discuss how the church gaslights women and much more. Join us! Show Highlights: ●      Dr. Andrew’s path from Southern Baptist Church pastor to therapist as he deconstructed his faith and faced stark realizations ●      The big, red-flag problems in what some churches teach and practice about women, leadership, sexism, and abuse ●      The facts about sexism and abuse experienced by women in the church ●      “How we are in our sexuality is how we are in our spirituality.” ●      Many churches demonstrate benevolent or ambivalent sexism. ●      Thoughts and feelings about I Timothy 2:11-12 being weaponized against women ●      Dr. Andrew’s thoughts on how the church weaponizes forgiveness ●      The correlation between pornography and violence against women ●      The biblical account of Jesus and the woman at the well—and how He broke decades of prejudices and sexism in His own culture ●      Other examples in scripture of how Jesus valued women—and how the church “gets it wrong” so often ●      Understanding sexuality and consent   Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Andrew Bauman: Website/Blog/Resources, The Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health & Trauma Recommended Reading: books by Natalie Hoffman, Sarah McDugal, and Sheila Gregoire  Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Joining me today is Sarah (pronounced SAH-rah) Casper, Consent Educator and the founder of Comprehensive Consent. We connected over a recent TikTok about sexual coercion, sexual assault, and consent, which, as you can imagine, prompted very strong reactions. There is a new social space around the whole idea of consent, even to the point that new terminology is being created, as with the term “enthusiastic consent.” With the overall goal of education and empowerment, Sarah and I tackle this very nuanced topic in today’s show. Join us!   Show Highlights:  ●      Consent is full of black, white, and LOTS of gray areas. ●      The truth: “Consent is not simple, and the same rules don’t apply across all contexts.” ●      Understanding the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire and the opt-in model vs. the opt-out model ●      Common questions Sarah is asked about people’s experiences ●      Everyone deserves care, all feelings are valid, and your feelings don’t have to be labeled. ●      Not all assault is sexual coercion, and not all sexual coercion is assault. ●      Sexual ethics is much more than consent. ●      Watch out for red flags in a partner wanting to “check all the boxes” for consent. Resources and Links: Connect with Sarah Casper and Comprehensive Consent: Website, Instagram, and TikTok   Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Friendships can be very complicated and fragile while at the same time solid and fulfilling. Even though our “besties” may come and go across our lifetime, they can each bring something valuable and unique to the friendship table. In this episode, we are taking a closer look at relationships, specifically friendships in all their complex and nuanced forms. My guest is content creator and podcaster, Hello Hayes. She answers questions from her community each week about navigating turbulence in our relationships with each other, work, and ourselves. Our conversation takes a closer look at her intriguing theory of the six different kinds of best friends. Join us!   Show Highlights:   ●      Hayes’s background as a writer, an empathetic person, an “old soul,” and a good listener ●      The natural shifts in friendships as life changes and phases unfold ●      Hayes’s six besties theory: (based on the premise that we have different friends in life for different purposes) ○      The Good Time Bestie ○      The Dead Body Bestie ○      The Work Bestie ○      The North Star Bestie ○      The OG Bestie ○      The Seasonal Bestie ●      The mental health piece of friendship ●      Practice your self-awareness muscle: Be confident in trusting your gut! ●      The basis for Hayes’s advice to people about their relationships ●      Knowing when it’s time to face a painful heartbreak and move on ●      Having tough conversations with the right words without being accusatory   Resources and Links: Connect with Hello Hayes: Hello Hayes podcast, TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and email (to submit a question) [email protected]  Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is powerful. I’m honored to have two of the three authors of the book, Beyond Fragility with me today. Dr. Natalie Watson-Singleton and Dr. Yara Mekawi, along with Danielle Dawson, have written truly the best anti-racism resource I’ve ever encountered. As a white person and a clinician, it is powerful to hear this perspective of what we need to do psychologically to get to a place of anti-racism. Drs. Natalie and Yara are researchers, educators, writers, and the co-founders of DEAR, the Dialectical Engagement and Anti-Racism Project. Join us to learn more about this timely and important topic!   Show Highlights: ●      The origins of DEAR and Beyond Fragility as an outgrowth of Yara’s Medium article, How to not be a “Karen”: Managing the tensions of anti-racism allyship ●      The differences between DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) and traditional talk therapy ●      Systemic racism, emotions, and “whiteness” ●      The goal of Beyond Fragility: to teach hard truths and skills that are necessary for a society that isn’t harmful to people of color ●      The DBT skill of effectiveness as a decision-guiding principle ●      A perspective on furthering anti-racism instead of placing blame ●      Barriers to anti-racism work ●      Anti-racism skills covered in the book, like accept, feel, detect, etc. ●      “Fight or flight” responses–and how they show up in anti-racism ●      Anti-racist repair and apologies ●      Skills to use in calling out racist missteps: (CALL) clarify what happened, acknowledge intentions, lay out the reasons, and list possible solutions; (OUT) observing, using humility, and tolerating resistance ●      The DEI calculator–and how to use it to ask for other perspectives ●      An example of anti-racism tools and skills in action with racial marginalization   Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Natalie, Dr. Yara, and The DEAR Project: Website, Instagram, and Facebook, LinkedIn   Beyond Fragility: A Skills-Based Guide to Effective Anti-Racist Allyship by Dr. Natalie Watson-Singleton, Dr. Yara Mekawi, and Danielle Dawson Also mentioned in this episode: White Fragility by Dr. Robin DiAngelo Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you have a child with a disability in the public school system, you are familiar with the language of special education, IEPs, and 504 Plans. If it’s new to you, stick around for today’s conversation because I’m joined by two trusted experts in the thick of the IEP world. We begin with Dr. Lesley Cook, a clinical psychologist and repeat guest on the show, as she explains what parents need to know to be prepared and informed ahead of IEP meetings. My second guest is Kim Kizito, a fierce advocate who meets with families and consults with them as they navigate the public school system to get educational services for their children with various disabilities. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: From Dr. Lesley:  ●      Dr. Lesley’s path to becoming a trusted expert witness in due process cases dealing with neuropsych assessments ●      Understanding IEPs–individual education programs for students who have a diagnosis that interferes with their education ●      The difference between bad goals and good goals in an IEP ●      Dr. Lesley’s advice to watch out for the word “comply” in an IEP goal ●      Turning bad goals into better goals that are affirming and realistic ●      Considerations around behavioral disorders, PTSD, and triggering environments ●      3 kinds of interventions and supports that should be included in IEPs ●      A look at the intense pressure that parents feel in the IEP process–and why the law regards them as equal members in the process ●      Examples of common accommodations that parents can ask for ●      The problem with color charts as a behavior management tool ●      Dr. Lesley’s tips for parents and guardians who want to be more informed and prepared for IEP meetings   From Kim:  ●      Most parents don’t realize what services are available for children ages 0-3 through ECI (Early Childhood Intervention) ●      The importance of a special education advocate in helping families ●      Understanding the difference between a 504 Plan and an IEP ●      The three-pronged process for a child to qualify for an IEP ●      Lightning round questions for Kim about the excuses schools give to parents ●      Kim’s strategy to “get through” to the school to get evaluations and services for a child ●      Top tips for parents in protecting their child’s educational rights ●      A manifestation determination hearing—when it is appropriate and what it means   Resources and Links:  Connect with Dr. Lesley Cook: TikTok  Mentioned by Dr. Lesley: www.understood.org  Connect with Kim Kizito: Website, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok  Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dance is about more than just moving your body. With today’s technology, it’s easy to layer other elements in addition to movement to create a product of expression. Dance is all about expression, it is for everyone, and it shouldn’t be limited to specific people who “fit the mold.” I’m joined today by Heather Stockton, a content creator and dance teacher who I recently discovered on TikTok. We are discussing accessible dance. Join us! Show Highlights: ●      Heather’s background with dance as the “true love” of her life overriding everything as she grew up ●      How Heather discovered in college that dance can be a means of communication, storytelling, and expressiveness ●      How body issues affected Heather’s first experience of dance not being accessible ●      Why Heather’s mission in life is to make dance accessible and inclusive for ALL bodies and break down the stigma that connects it to just one body type ●      Heather’s job today as a dance educator in an elementary school and a dance program developer whose work is based on accessibility and inclusion ●      How Heather teaches through multiple modalities that apply to every gen ed and special ed student in her classes ●      How dance provides multiple benefits for both physical and mental health ●      How dance for adults can heal their inner child, provide community, and allow them to be curious, playful, and expressive ●      Heather leads us through a BrainDance exercise (developed by Anne Green Gilbert) that can be done by people of any age, from very young children to elderly adults Resources and Links: Connect with Heather Stockton: Website, TikTok, and Instagram Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There is no bigger struggle than surviving a post-disaster scenario or perhaps the anxiety we feel about an impending disaster. Joining me today is Zoe Higgins, The Leftist Prepper, from TikTok. You’ll learn what it means to be a prepper, how and why Zoe became a prepper, why the “disaster myth” of movies is not reality, and how to keep your family safe in a disastrous event.    Show Highlights: ●      What it means to be a prepper—and how it started for Zoe in 2017 ●      The difference between doomsday preppers and realistic preppers ●      What leftist prepping is all about ●      Zoe’s Hurricane Ida experience in 2021, and how communities came together ●      What the “disaster myth” is—and why it isn’t true ●      How fundamental Christian narratives play into alt-right prepper views ●      How doomsday preppers incorporate racism, ableism, and fat shaming into their rhetoric ●      Where to start in becoming a prepper ●      What to know about prepping with canned food, freeze-dried food, and stored water ●      Why a hand-crank emergency radio is a necessity ●      How to prep for extreme temperatures in a disaster scenario ●      What to think about in your 72-hour kit beyond food and water: niche gadgets, first aid/medical supplies, maps, chargers, batteries, and printed information ●      What to consider for a go-bag, bug-out bag, etc. ●      Safety issues to think about in a disaster scenario ●      Zoe’s takeaway thoughts about anxiety and prepping   Resources and Links:  Connect with Zoe: TikTok and How People Behave After Disasters information sheet   Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are discussing an intriguing topic today: accessible yoga. I want to know more about it, so I’ve invited Emily Anderson to join me. She’s been a yoga teacher since 2018 and is focusing her work this year on yoga therapy, the application of yogic modalities and philosophies in caring for people based on their unique medical and emotional needs and in collaboration with a person’s medical team. Emily does yoga therapy through her virtual studio, All Bodies Welcome Yoga. She firmly believes that anyone can come through her virtual doors and feel comfortable and welcome, which is not always the case in mainstream, fitness-based yoga studios in the US. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: ●      Why it is important to Emily to have equity and inclusion in the yoga classroom ●      Why common conceptions about yoga are a “tricky blur” between self-help, mind/body connection, and spirituality ●      How different yoga positions are beneficial to the body and emotions ●      How people feel health shame and sometimes associate movement with pain, punishment, or discipline ●      How yoga helps reconnect us to the ways our bodies enjoy movement and give us feedback about sensations ●      How Emily works with clients around pushing themselves when things are challenging and empowering themselves with options and autonomy ●      Why much teaching around exercise and movement are fear-based ●      How Emily conducts virtual yoga classes ●      How to look for accessible yoga classes in your community Resources and Links: Connect with Emily Anderson and All Bodies Welcome Yoga: Website, YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, and The Softness Meditation Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Looking at the diverse aspects of mental health from different angles is part of what this show is about. Today’s episode features Soo Jin Lee and Linda Yoon, who are clinicians, therapists, Asian Americans, and the co-authors of Where I Belong: Healing Trauma and Embracing Asian American Identity. Join us to learn more about mental health and the Asian American community!   Show Highlights:  ●      How Soo Jin Lee and Linda Yoon met while working in a community health setting mainly with Asian immigrants and refugees in the US ●      Why Asian clients generally experience big stigma and shame around mental health care ●      Why there are common barriers to treatment for Asian Americans, including intergenerational trauma, racial trauma, migration trauma, and invisibility ●      Why therapists have to approach identity issues and family dynamics differently with children of immigrants ●      Soo Jin’s story of the extreme effects of growing up as an undocumented immigrant ●      How Soo Jin’s mother experienced “functional PTSD”---which led to intergenerational trauma in the family ●      How Linda experienced different kinds of intergenerational trauma, mainly due to domestic violence and abuse in her family ●      What is involved in breaking intergenerational family trauma ●      How their book addresses a community perspective on emotions and mental health ●      How practices like yoga and Tai Chi help create a somatic connection between trauma therapy and movement ●      Why everyone, including non-Asians, can benefit from reading their book   Resources and Links:  Connect with Soo Jin Lee and Linda Yoon: Yellow Chair Collective Website, Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook  **Get the book, Where I Belong  Mentioned in this episode: Teaching the Invisible Race by Tony DelaRosa Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My guest today is content creator, Frances, from TikTok. She most often covers topics related to Black maternal health and mental health, but today we venture into her personal experience in being a neurodivergent Black woman. Join us!   Show Highlights:  ●      How Frances is affected by neurodivergent issues like dyslexia, sensory processing disorder, and stimming (There is much more to neurodivergence beyond ADHD and autism!) ●      How a knowledgeable teacher caught Frances’ problems early in elementary school ●      How differences in cultures play out in the ways neurodivergence might be manifested ●      Why there are many shortfalls in identifying learning disabilities because too many teachers assume the problems are behavioral ●      Why it is difficult as the parent of a neurodivergent child to find balance in privacy, protection, and sharing information with others ●      Frances’ opinions on her childhood accommodations that were most impactful and least impactful for her ●      How Frances functions with accommodations in the workplace as an adult    Resources and Links: Connect with Frances: TikTok  Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A big part of the discussion around mental health, wellness, and self-care is not to overlook the factors that may have contributed to some form of religious trauma in your life. If you are someone who has a religious background and might be deconstructing from a religion (Christianity, in particular), today’s conversation will help you navigate that journey. I’m joined by Rev. Lizzie, an Episcopal priest who is based in Austin, Texas, where she is the founding planter of Jubilee Episcopal Church. There is something inspiring and comforting in this conversation for everyone, no matter your relationship with religion. Join us!   Show Highlights:  ●      Shocker: “Cleanliness is next to godliness” is not in the Bible, so you are not morally sinful if your sink is full of dirty dishes. ●      Why Christianity can be comforting to us in our feelings of brokenness and unworthiness ●      Where the phrase about cleanliness and godliness originated–as a way to teach that our “inside” is a more important focus than our outward appearance ●      The danger of misunderstanding “God commands” and “God cares” ●      Why much of what people “think” is Christianity is a misunderstanding of God’s grace and love for our souls ●      Why the vastness of God cannot be contained solely within the bounds of scripture ●      How we each have a “canon within a canon” of the scriptures that we hold the most sacred and important ●      What Rev. Lizzie wants us to understand about the word “jubilee” and what it means about freedom, justice, and joy   Resources and Links: Connect with Rev. Lizzie: TikTok, Instagram, and And Also With You Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Resilience. You’ve heard the word, I’m sure, but do you know what it means and how it plays out in real-life situations? Building resilience through pain and difficulties is today’s topic, and Dr. Patrice Berry is here to help us understand. She is a licensed clinical psychologist in Virginia who enjoys creating educational content on social media to provide additional education and information to people she can’t see in her local office. Join us!  Show Highlights: ●      How Dr. Patrice sees resilience in her work with trauma survivors ●      How Dr. Patrice defines resilience ●      Why resilience can be both an innate ability and a learned skill/tool ●      Why resilience comes from a growth mindset of honoring pain and seeing light through pain ●      What it means to balance pain and trauma ●      How a supportive network helps build resilience by making someone know they are seen, heard, understood, and not alone ●      Dr. Patrice’s take on the oft-used statement: “Children are resilient.” ●      Why children need to experience difficulties, disappointments, mistakes, and pain (not intentionally-caused pain) ●      The role of resilience in being the difference between surviving and thriving ●      How to find joy—even in the midst of surviving ●      How Dr. Patrice teaches the resilience-building skill of “doing the opposite” ●      How to give yourself accommodations ●      The relationship between resilience and persistence   Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Patrice Berry: TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and (book) Turning Crisis into Clarity: How to Survive or Thrive in the Midst of Uncertainty Book mentioned by Dr. Patrice: Trauma-Proofing Your Kids by Peter Levine Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The thing about boundaries is that they are much more complex than most people assume. The world of boundary-setting is rarely colored with clearly defined black-and-white choices. Today’s episode is a conversation with my friend Bethany about her relationship with her father and how she handled boundaries in ways that felt authentic to her. We are discussing how boundaries come into play in the relationships we have and the decision-making process we use. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: ●      A little background on Bethany’s dad, their relationship, and how she grew up not feeling wanted and approved by him ●      How Bethany’s relationship with her dad got worse as she became an adult and encountered her personal addiction issues ●      How Bethany learned hard lessons about communicating with her dad ●      Why Bethany decided to maintain her relationship with her dad—even though he gave her every reason not to ●      How Bethany set hard boundaries by not engaging with him when he was drinking and verbally abusive to her ●      How extra complexities came into their relationship when his health declined and he needed her more and more ●      Why Bethany’s decisions to engage and re-engage were never about believing he would change ●      Why the boundary decisions we make are less about what is right or wrong and more about how we can remain an authentic, whole person ●      How Bethany handled his terminal illness in ways that left her with no regrets   Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices