Mo asks Molly Fletcher: How can busy professionals create and close the meaty business that we all want? Be relational, not transactional. When we stay relational we can do powerful things. A client relationship is like a marriage, you have to show up every day and continue to add value to their world or they will go somewhere else. Consistently over-deliver and add tremendous value to your client’s and prospect’s lives. If you pour into the people that matter to you, it creates a platform where if you ask for a referral or a favour, they are happy to do it for you. Throwing in little extras around the services you provide have a disproportionate impact on your relationship. Getting into someone’s head and heart is how you stand out. Most people are thinking that way or doing the things that connect that way, and if you do it consistently over time and from an authentic place, your prospect can’t help but like and trust you. Oftentimes, the things that don’t cost money can have the most value of all. Don’t aim to close the deal. Instead, build a vibrant ecosystem of relationships. When you do that you naturally generate opportunities for your pipeline over time. You need enough in your pipeline to avoid desperation. Prospecting is like dating, you need to develop a relationship with the person before you propose to get married.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com training.mollyfletcher.com – $10 discount code: GAMECHANGER

Mo asks Molly Fletcher: What is your best advice for busy professionals to grow their book of business, their relationships, and their career? You have to behave in a way that sends a message to the people you want to work with and for, that the relationship matters so much to you that you behave like they are your client already. In all business development relationship conversations, people are asking the same basic questions. “Do I like you?”, “Can you help me?”, and “Can I trust you?”. When you act like you have the business before you already do and behave as you care about them, they can answer those questions with a yes. Every business development conversation starts with curiosity. When you’re curious you can discover the gaps in their world and find a way to add value to them. People like us when we help them and make their world better. What can you do to show up in your client’s and prospect’s world and help them feel like they matter to you? Especially one week or one month after you have that initial conversation. You have to believe in the process and put systems and triggers in place to create that and turn follow-up into a routine. The big moment is not the pitch, it’s after they leave and you have the opportunity to behave in a way that shows them that they matter to you. It’s not about making money right now, it’s the fact that if you lean in and add value and make their lives better, they can’t help but trust you and appreciate that. Once you have the process in place you have to be disciplined about it. Build your process around follow-up into your calendar and don’t leave it in your inbox. You have to schedule the things in your life that matter most. Block that time and protect it. If you want to stay top of mind with your prospects you have to stay connected, stay curious, and stay in their world.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com training.mollyfletcher.com – $10 discount code: GAMECHANGER

Ron Friedman shares the principles of Decoding Greatness and reveals why the stories we are told about success are wrong. Learn how to reverse engineer greatness in any field by becoming a collector, how to create a scoreboard that leads to success, and a simple technique for hacking your habits and guaranteeing that you improve your skills over time.   Mo asks Ron Friedman: How can the audience get better at growing their book of business, their relationships, and their career? The big idea behind Decoding Greatness is that the stories we were told about success were wrong. We were told that either people are born with special talents or that greatness comes from years of practice. The third story that most people don’t know is that those at the top of a profession have most often mastered the skill of reverse engineering. Reverse engineering is simply taking the best examples within your field and working backward to see how it was achieved and what can be applied to what you’re working on. Methods vary depending on the field you are in. Regardless of what field you are in, having the reverse engineering mindset of looking to decode how something is created is the key to getting better. Become a collector. Most of the great people in the world started off as collectors before they were creators. Finding greatness requires seeing greatness in others. If you see something that you want to achieve, collect examples of those things and you will begin to identify the patterns that are different from other things. Finding the differences is the first step to figuring out what makes someone or something unique. Asking great questions is another method of discovering the differences when you have the opportunity to speak to your model directly. A mindset of naive curiosity is one of the fastest ways to allow people to open up when they are with you. Contrast this reverse engineering method with the idea of practice makes perfect. Improvement through isolation is a failing strategy. You can’t practice an idea you’ve never considered. The real path to greatness is having a systematic approach to learning from the best and applying it to your work. Simply copying someone else’s formula will probably not work for you. Their value proposition may not apply to your industry or the audience expectations may have shifted. The key is to evolve what you are modeling to make it unique to you and novel to the people viewing it. One way of doing that is by combining two or three examples of greatness and taking the elements that resonate with you to create the best possible version.   Mo asks Ron Friedman: How can we create and close more big opportunities and business? We know from the research that anything you want to improve on you need to keep score of. In other words, you need to track your numbers. Simply relying on closed deals is not enough. There are way more metrics that you can track that are better indicators of progressive improvement. You have to identify the metrics that indicate you are doing a good job in your field and track them over time. When you track those numbers the metrics become motivating. You tend to be more mindful of what you decide to do and it exposes wasteful effort. We are sensitive to numbers evolutionarily speaking. Numbers give us crucial information that we need to succeed in many different areas of life. Only tracking the lagging indicators like deals closed is only half the picture and they aren’t directly in your control. You need to track leading indicators that are in your control as well. Your scoreboard needs a balance between short-term and long-term goals. This applies to the overall success of your career, but extends into your personal life and relationships as well. We want to avoid over-optimization of a single metric to the detriment of everything else. Metrics can be a mix of both quantity and quality. In terms of metrics that you should focus on, you need to work backward from your target audience. Not all prospects are created equal. We would all be wiser to think about the one person that you want to work with the most and how to replicate them. Subjective metrics can still be beneficial, but even within those metrics there are things to drill down on to identify what makes the metric important. In the case of meaningful conversations, did both parties speak equally? Was there self-disclosure from both sides? When you compare the ordinary to the extraordinary you will be able to identify some objective metrics that you can aim for that will enable you to be more successful.   Mo asks Ron Friedman: What can we do to deepen our relationships using all of the knowledge in Decoding Greatness? Use your relationships as test markets. Test markets are often used by successful entrepreneurs to fine-tune their ideas before they go to market. This enables you to take a lot more risk and test more things before going big. When it comes to deepening your relationships with potential clients, ask for advice on a potential approach you’ve been considering. Avoid asking for feedback because requesting advice primes them to think about the potential ways you could improve, and you get great feedback at the same time. People love to feel like they can contribute and their opinion is valued. Ask for advice. In relationships, people want to be valued, respected, and appreciated, and what better way to honor someone than asking for their input on something that you can improve. Positioning yourself as better than your clients will work up to a point, but if you want to deepen your relationship and get them invested in your success, asking for advice is the way to do that. There is also the advantage of getting the perspective of someone that you can’t see on your own specifically because of your level of expertise. Advice can open up your mind to ideas that you haven’t considered and can lead the other person to suggest people that would be interested in that offering. Start a collection of people who communicate well and deepen relationships effectively. We all have people in our lives that we can emulate and create a collection that will allow you to decode and discover meaningful patterns. When communicating, start with what’s important to the other person and not what’s important to you. If you have established a scoreboard, you can also create a checklist to measure your communications against.   Mo asks Ron Friedman: How do we hack our own habits to be successful? When most of us think about improving our skills we tend to think about a practice that’s narrowly defined in the present. If we look at those who are at the top of their field, their definition includes the past, present, and future. Looking to past experiences by keeping a five-year journal is how you get an extra perspective. Reviewing our previous day alongside that same day one year before will give you additional insights, and the five-year journal automates the practice. Additional benefits of the journal are that it improves your memory and helps you recognize how often your fears are overblown in the moment, and this gives you more confidence to handle challenges going forward. Research shows that if all you do is write down what you learned today, your performance will improve by up to 25% on the following try. Reflective practice is a method that will generate improvement over time. Practicing in the future is exemplified by imagery. Athletes imagine their performance in advance using all five senses. Experts that use this technique improve faster and extend to all professions. One of the best uses of imagery is imagining that you stumble and how you recover. This teaches you that whatever comes up you can get better. This technique helps you front-load decisions and allows you to simply execute in the moment. If you write down what can go wrong in a meeting and how you would handle it, your confidence will go through the roof and it will allow you to be more present in the conversation.   Mo shares his insights from the habits of Ron Friedman. Decoding is extremely powerful. Mo has had great success taking models that worked for another company and decoding it and then applying it in his own way, and has noticed that without a concrete vision or model to emulate, the odds of success go way down. If you want to decode greatness, start by becoming a collector. Having only one model can be restrictive. Combining the elements that work across models can create a synthesis of the best examples and lead to a better end result. Track your behaviors because there is no way to be successful and feel great about it without tracking something of your own. We love numbers and are intrinsically drawn to them as they indicate success in life at a very fundamental level. If all you are looking at is lagging indicators, you won’t feel motivated in the short-term and it can lead to feeling defeated. We need to pull the metrics back to things that we can control instead of focusing on the outcome. What can you do today to be just a little bit better at what you do? The cumulative effect of your leading indicators is long-term success. If you don’t track the metrics that matter most you can end up making missteps for months without even realizing it. When it comes to business development, think about your performance all the time. One of the benefits of the pandemic is the ability to record your Zoom calls with potential clients and review the conversation. You can look at the number of questions you asked, when the other person leaned in or checked out, and more. Practice in the past and review your past performance on a regular basis. Practice in the present and write down what you’ve accomplished today. Having a meeting with yourself to review your progress is incredibly valuable. Practice in the future. Focus on the imagery of the elements that are important to business development meetings. Anticipate what might happen, what questions you might receive, and what might go wrong and this will give you the confidence to deliver effectively.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com decodinggreatnessbook.com ronfriedmanphd.com

Mo shares his insights from the habits of Ron Friedman. Decoding is extremely powerful. Mo has had great success taking models that worked for another company and decoding it and then applying it in his own way, and has noticed that without a concrete vision or model to emulate, the odds of success go way down. If you want to decode greatness, start by becoming a collector. Having only one model can be restrictive. Combining the elements that work across models can create a synthesis of the best examples and lead to a better end result. Track your behaviors because there is no way to be successful and feel great about it without tracking something of your own. We love numbers and are intrinsically drawn to them as they indicate success in life at a very fundamental level. If all you are looking at is lagging indicators, you won’t feel motivated in the short-term and it can lead to feeling defeated. We need to pull the metrics back to things that we can control instead of focusing on the outcome. What can you do today to be just a little bit better at what you do? The cumulative effect of your leading indicators is long-term success. If you don’t track the metrics that matter most you can end up making missteps for months without even realizing it. When it comes to business development, think about your performance all the time. One of the benefits of the pandemic is the ability to record your Zoom calls with potential clients and review the conversation. You can look at the number of questions you asked, when the other person leaned in or checked out, and more. Practice in the past and review your past performance on a regular basis. Practice in the present and write down what you’ve accomplished today. Having a meeting with yourself to review your progress is incredibly valuable. Practice in the future. Focus on the imagery of the elements that are important to business development meetings. Anticipate what might happen, what questions you might receive, and what might go wrong and this will give you the confidence to deliver effectively.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com decodinggreatnessbook.com ronfriedmanphd.com

Mo asks Ron Friedman: How do we hack our own habits to be successful? When most of us think about improving our skills we tend to think about a practice that’s narrowly defined in the present. If we look at those who are at the top of their field, their definition includes the past, present, and future. Looking to past experiences by keeping a five-year journal is how you get an extra perspective. Reviewing our previous day alongside that same day one year before will give you additional insights, and the five-year journal automates the practice. Additional benefits of the journal are that it improves your memory and helps you recognize how often your fears are overblown in the moment, and this gives you more confidence to handle challenges going forward. Research shows that if all you do is write down what you learned today, your performance will improve by up to 25% on the following try. Reflective practice is a method that will generate improvement over time. Practicing in the future is exemplified by imagery. Athletes imagine their performance in advance using all five senses. Experts that use this technique improve faster and extend to all professions. One of the best uses of imagery is imagining that you stumble and how you recover. This teaches you that whatever comes up you can get better. This technique helps you front-load decisions and allows you to simply execute in the moment. If you write down what can go wrong in a meeting and how you would handle it, your confidence will go through the roof and it will allow you to be more present in the conversation.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com decodinggreatnessbook.com ronfriedmanphd.com

Mo asks Ron Friedman: What can we do to deepen our relationships using all of the knowledge in Decoding Greatness? Use your relationships as test markets. Test markets are often used by successful entrepreneurs to fine-tune their ideas before they go to market. This enables you to take a lot more risk and test more things before going big. When it comes to deepening your relationships with potential clients, ask for advice on a potential approach you’ve been considering. Avoid asking for feedback because requesting advice primes them to think about the potential ways you could improve, and you get great feedback at the same time. People love to feel like they can contribute and their opinion is valued. Ask for advice. In relationships, people want to be valued, respected, and appreciated, and what better way to honor someone than asking for their input on something that you can improve. Positioning yourself as better than your clients will work up to a point, but if you want to deepen your relationship and get them invested in your success, asking for advice is the way to do that. There is also the advantage of getting the perspective of someone that you can’t see on your own specifically because of your level of expertise. Advice can open up your mind to ideas that you haven’t considered and can lead the other person to suggest people that would be interested in that offering. Start a collection of people who communicate well and deepen relationships effectively. We all have people in our lives that we can emulate and create a collection that will allow you to decode and discover meaningful patterns. When communicating, start with what’s important to the other person and not what’s important to you. If you have established a scoreboard, you can also create a checklist to measure your communications against.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com decodinggreatnessbook.com ronfriedmanphd.com

Mo asks Ron Friedman: How can we create and close more big opportunities and business? We know from the research that anything you want to improve on you need to keep score of. In other words, you need to track your numbers. Simply relying on closed deals is not enough. There are way more metrics that you can track that are better indicators of progressive improvement. You have to identify the metrics that indicate you are doing a good job in your field and track them over time. When you track those numbers the metrics become motivating. You tend to be more mindful of what you decide to do and it exposes wasteful effort. We are sensitive to numbers evolutionarily speaking. Numbers give us crucial information that we need to succeed in many different areas of life. Only tracking the lagging indicators like deals closed is only half the picture and they aren’t directly in your control. You need to track leading indicators that are in your control as well. Your scoreboard needs a balance between short-term and long-term goals. This applies to the overall success of your career, but extends into your personal life and relationships as well. We want to avoid over-optimization of a single metric to the detriment of everything else. Metrics can be a mix of both quantity and quality. In terms of metrics that you should focus on, you need to work backward from your target audience. Not all prospects are created equal. We would all be wiser to think about the one person that you want to work with the most and how to replicate them. Subjective metrics can still be beneficial, but even within those metrics there are things to drill down on to identify what makes the metric important. In the case of meaningful conversations, did both parties speak equally? Was there self-disclosure from both sides? When you compare the ordinary to the extraordinary you will be able to identify some objective metrics that you can aim for that will enable you to be more successful.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com decodinggreatnessbook.com ronfriedmanphd.com

Mo asks Ron Friedman: How can the audience get better at growing their book of business, their relationships, and their career? The big idea behind Decoding Greatness is that the stories we were told about success were wrong. We were told that either people are born with special talents or that greatness comes from years of practice. The third story that most people don’t know is that those at the top of a profession have most often mastered the skill of reverse engineering. Reverse engineering is simply taking the best examples within your field and working backward to see how it was achieved and what can be applied to what you’re working on. Methods vary depending on the field you are in. Regardless of what field you are in, having the reverse engineering mindset of looking to decode how something is created is the key to getting better. Become a collector. Most of the great people in the world started off as collectors before they were creators. Finding greatness requires seeing greatness in others. If you see something that you want to achieve, collect examples of those things and you will begin to identify the patterns that are different from other things. Finding the differences is the first step to figuring out what makes someone or something unique. Asking great questions is another method of discovering the differences when you have the opportunity to speak to your model directly. A mindset of naive curiosity is one of the fastest ways to allow people to open up when they are with you. Contrast this reverse engineering method with the idea of practice makes perfect. Improvement through isolation is a failing strategy. You can’t practice an idea you’ve never considered. The real path to greatness is having a systematic approach to learning from the best and applying it to your work. Simply copying someone else’s formula will probably not work for you. Their value proposition may not apply to your industry or the audience expectations may have shifted. The key is to evolve what you are modeling to make it unique to you and novel to the people viewing it. One way of doing that is by combining two or three examples of greatness and taking the elements that resonate with you to create the best possible version.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com decodinggreatnessbook.com ronfriedmanphd.com

Vanessa Van Edwards shares the science of charisma and connection and talks about how to create deeper and more authentic relationships. Learn why the Golden Rule is not the best way to work with prospects and what you should be doing instead, how to understand and use the three levels of intimacy, and the one exercise you need to identify your most important business development efforts.   Mo asks Vanessa Van Edwards: What’s your big idea on how people can grow their book of business, deepen their relationships, and enhance their career? Vanessa likes to joke that she’s a recovering awkward person. She used to believe that charisma was something you were born with, but the truth is that charisma can be taught. The research indicates that most charismatic people have honed their charisma and learned very specific interpersonal skills that help them create relationships. You don’t have to fake it until you make it to be charismatic. The most practical way to develop your own charisma Highly charismatic ranked off the charts compared to their peers in two very specific traits: warmth and competence. They need to be combined to be effective. Many professionals put too much emphasis on competence, which can actually make you intimidating, cold, or hard to talk to. Warmth alone can make you a pushover and encourage people to take advantage of you. The number thing to consider is where you fall on the balance between warmth and confidence. Over the next few weeks and months, pay attention to where you fall and if you need more of one trait or the other, that is your first step towards becoming more charismatic.   Mo asks Vanessa Van Edwards: What can people do to create more opportunities and build their book of business? Vanessa was raised on the Golden Rule but that rule actually started getting her in trouble. When she switched over to the Platinum Rule “Treat others as they would like to be treated” the game changed completely. Of the big five personality traits, Openness and Conscientiousness are the two biggest blocks to closing more deals and bonding with clients. When you’re high in Openness you like new ideas and new things. When you’re low in Openness you like things the way they are and prefer habit and routine. The thing to keep in mind in pitching situations, if you use the Golden Rule and you’re high in Openness and speaking to a prospect that is low in Openness, you’re going to completely scare them away. An easy way to figure out what sort of person you’re dealing with, ask them out to lunch. Whether they try something new or prefer their tried and true favorite will give you a hint. The Openness of your prospect should dictate your pitch. For a low Openness person, minimize the change and emphasize what isn’t changing and the proof. Conscientiousness has to do with how someone approaches details. Low Conscientiousness people are more about big ideas whereas high Conscientiousness people feel more secure knowing all the details. Openness is important for pitching, Conscientiousness is for planning. Honoring someone’s personality is one of the deepest ways we can respect our fellow human beings.   Mo asks Vanessa Van Edwards: How can people deepen their relationships? Vanessa had a lot of surface relationships in her life but she found some research that completely changed the way she interacts with people. There are three different levels of intimacy in a relationship. The first level is called general traits. At this stage, we are just trying to understand their basic personality traits. Level two is personal concerns. This level involves additional questions revolving around a person’s origin and emotions. The third level is called self-narrative and for many people, they don’t have any relationships at this stage. The self-narrative is the story someone tells themselves about themselves. Unlocking someone’s self-narrative is the most critical part of understanding someone’s motivations and why they act the way they do. If you want to deepen your relationship you have to structure your interactions around these levels of intimacy. If you’re curious about the third level, you have to start by identifying your own self-narrative. Do you see yourself as a martyr or a hero? Unlucky or lucky? A powerful yet risky question to ask if you want to dive deeper into a level 3 relationship is “So what’s your story?” If you’re going to ask it, make sure that you have a good answer yourself. Radical transparency is key. If you want to get to know someone, tell them that’s what you want to do and get them to buy in first.   Mo asks Vanessa Van Edwards: How can we hack our habits and stay focused on deepening our long-term relationships? How we manage our people and our work is just as important as how we implement the work. Vanessa’s company uses an exercise called Start, Stop, Continue. You should always be evaluating what you are starting, stopping, and continuing. Every month Vanessa’s team has an opportunity to list new ideas for things that can move the needle, identifying which tasks are working well, and perhaps most importantly, which activities need to make way for something else. Having a not-to-do list is crucial. You need to be able to say no to anything that is hampering your productivity or your success. Personally, this exercise should be done once a month. As a team, once per quarter and before jumping into it you should explain what the purpose of the exercise is. Give them a chance to think about it and then set aside two to three hours to go over everything. If you don’t think you’ll have enough time to commit to this, take the social media apps off your phone and take your time back.   Mo shares his insights from the habits of Vanessa Van Edwards. Charisma can be learned, just like business development skills. Just like anything complex, it is both learned and earned. One of the deciding factors in Mo’s father’s restaurant when he was growing up was his ability to tell a good story, and that skill rubbed off. People weren’t coming in for the prices since it is impossible to compete with the farmers, but because there was a story and connection available. The first step to learning something is the awareness that you can learn, and then putting yourself on the path to learn it. For the people that are high in Openness, you should emphasize the high level concept and the newness of your pitch. For people who are more systems and detail focused, the key thing to emphasize is the lack of change and how your pitch will streamline what they are already doing. In the Herrmann Brain Dominance model, the other opposing pair is Facts vs. Feelings. For someone who is focused on the facts you should emphasize that you are high value and worth the price you charge. It’s about being efficient with their time hitting the most important points. For Feelings, you want to emphasize trust and the relationship with the prospect. Good rainmakers shift their communication to emphasize what the other side finds important. Great rainmakers emphasize a little bit on all four quadrants and wait for the prospect to lean in on something in particular. If we are going to be efficient and effective, we are by nature, always climbing and finding better uses for our time. You should always be trying to level up what you are working on, and by definition, that means eliminating the lower value activities. The world has a status quo bias, so we need a mechanism for reevaluating things you should take off your plate and things you should begin doing. Commit some time each month to do the Start, Stop, Continue exercise that Vanessa recommended in the previous episode. If you don’t have a system for that right now, that should be your first step. If you don’t have time for this exercise, that’s an indication that you definitely need it. Eliminating even small tasks can result in hundreds of hours each year to start doing new things which could change the game for your business development efforts.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com scienceofpeople.com/pschool scienceofpeople.com/captivate

Mo shares his insights from the habits of Vanessa Van Edwards. Charisma can be learned, just like business development skills. Just like anything complex, it is both learned and earned. One of the deciding factors in Mo’s father’s restaurant when he was growing up was his ability to tell a good story, and that skill rubbed off. People weren’t coming in for the prices since it is impossible to compete with the farmers, but because there was a story and connection available. The first step to learning something is the awareness that you can learn, and then putting yourself on the path to learn it. For the people that are high in Openness, you should emphasize the high level concept and the newness of your pitch. For people who are more systems and detail focused, the key thing to emphasize is the lack of change and how your pitch will streamline what they are already doing. In the Herrmann Brain Dominance model, the other opposing pair is Facts vs. Feelings. For someone who is focused on the facts you should emphasize that you are high value and worth the price you charge. It’s about being efficient with their time hitting the most important points. For Feelings, you want to emphasize trust and the relationship with the prospect. Good rainmakers shift their communication to emphasize what the other side finds important. Great rainmakers emphasize a little bit on all four quadrants and wait for the prospect to lean in on something in particular. If we are going to be efficient and effective, we are by nature, always climbing and finding better uses for our time. You should always be trying to level up what you are working on, and by definition, that means eliminating the lower value activities. The world has a status quo bias, so we need a mechanism for reevaluating things you should take off your plate and things you should begin doing. Commit some time each month to do the Start, Stop, Continue exercise that Vanessa recommended in the previous episode. If you don’t have a system for that right now, that should be your first step. If you don’t have time for this exercise, that’s an indication that you definitely need it. Eliminating even small tasks can result in hundreds of hours each year to start doing new things which could change the game for your business development efforts.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com scienceofpeople.com/pschool scienceofpeople.com/captivate

Mo asks Vanessa Van Edwards: How can we hack our habits and stay focused on deepening our long-term relationships? How we manage our people and our work is just as important as how we implement the work. Vanessa’s company uses an exercise called Start, Stop, Continue. You should always be evaluating what you are starting, stopping, and continuing. Every month Vanessa’s team has an opportunity to list new ideas for things that can move the needle, identifying which tasks are working well, and perhaps most importantly, which activities need to make way for something else. Having a not-to-do list is crucial. You need to be able to say no to anything that is hampering your productivity or your success. Personally, this exercise should be done once a month. As a team, once per quarter and before jumping into it you should explain what the purpose of the exercise is. Give them a chance to think about it and then set aside two to three hours to go over everything. If you don’t think you’ll have enough time to commit to this, take the social media apps off your phone and take your time back.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com scienceofpeople.com/pschool scienceofpeople.com/captivate

Mo asks Vanessa Van Edwards: How can people deepen their relationships? Vanessa had a lot of surface relationships in her life but she found some research that completely changed the way she interacts with people. There are three different levels of intimacy in a relationship. The first level is called general traits. At this stage, we are just trying to understand their basic personality traits. Level two is personal concerns. This level involves additional questions revolving around a person’s origin and emotions. The third level is called self-narrative and for many people, they don’t have any relationships at this stage. The self-narrative is the story someone tells themselves about themselves. Unlocking someone’s self-narrative is the most critical part of understanding someone’s motivations and why they act the way they do. If you want to deepen your relationship you have to structure your interactions around these levels of intimacy. If you’re curious about the third level, you have to start by identifying your own self-narrative. Do you see yourself as a martyr or a hero? Unlucky or lucky? A powerful yet risky question to ask if you want to dive deeper into a level 3 relationship is “So what’s your story?” If you’re going to ask it, make sure that you have a good answer yourself. Radical transparency is key. If you want to get to know someone, tell them that’s what you want to do and get them to buy in first.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com scienceofpeople.com/pschool scienceofpeople.com/captivate

Mo asks Vanessa Van Edwards: What can people do to create more opportunities and build their book of business? Vanessa was raised on the Golden Rule but that rule actually started getting her in trouble. When she switched over to the Platinum Rule “Treat others as they would like to be treated” the game changed completely. Of the big five personality traits, Openness and Conscientiousness are the two biggest blocks to closing more deals and bonding with clients. When you’re high in Openness you like new ideas and new things. When you’re low in Openness you like things the way they are and prefer habit and routine. The thing to keep in mind in pitching situations, if you use the Golden Rule and you’re high in Openness and speaking to a prospect that is low in Openness, you’re going to completely scare them away. An easy way to figure out what sort of person you’re dealing with, ask them out to lunch. Whether they try something new or prefer their tried and true favorite will give you a hint. The Openness of your prospect should dictate your pitch. For a low Openness person, minimize the change and emphasize what isn’t changing and the proof. Conscientiousness has to do with how someone approaches details. Low Conscientiousness people are more about big ideas whereas high Conscientiousness people feel more secure knowing all the details. Openness is important for pitching, Conscientiousness is for planning. Honoring someone’s personality is one of the deepest ways we can respect our fellow human beings.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com scienceofpeople.com/pschool scienceofpeople.com/captivate

Mo asks Vanessa Van Edwards: What’s your big idea on how people can grow their book of business, deepen their relationships, and enhance their career? Vanessa likes to joke that she’s a recovering awkward person. She used to believe that charisma was something you were born with, but the truth is that charisma can be taught. The research indicates that most charismatic people have honed their charisma and learned very specific interpersonal skills that help them create relationships. You don’t have to fake it until you make it to be charismatic. The most practical way to develop your own charisma Highly charismatic ranked off the charts compared to their peers in two very specific traits: warmth and competence. They need to be combined to be effective. Many professionals put too much emphasis on competence, which can actually make you intimidating, cold, or hard to talk to. Warmth alone can make you a pushover and encourage people to take advantage of you. The number thing to consider is where you fall on the balance between warmth and confidence. Over the next few weeks and months, pay attention to where you fall and if you need more of one trait or the other, that is your first step towards becoming more charismatic.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com scienceofpeople.com/pschool scienceofpeople.com/captivate

Glen Jackson shares his extensive expertise and experience in relationship building and business development. Learn why doing the unexpected can create outsized results when it comes to your relationships with other people, how to sustainably and genuinely build trust with key clients and prospects, and why relationship building is the exact opposite of networking.   Mo asks Glen Jackson: What is your big idea on how we can grow our book of business and enhance our career? Glen’s big idea is the acronym DTU (Do The Unexpected) which is the exact opposite of an IOU. DTU’s are about motivation instead of obligation and when done sincerely and genuinely can be incredibly powerful in creating relationships. They come in all shapes and sizes. A smaller DTU could be writing a handwritten note to someone you interacted with recently. Everyone wants to feel noteworthy, and writing a note is a great example of how to make that happen. When you refresh others, you refresh yourself. Glen tells the story of how he got caught in the rain and was rescued by a cab driver that went out of his way to help Glen, and how Glen paid the cab driver back. One of the easiest ways to show that you care is listening well. In a conversation with someone, you may discover a topic that you can help them learn more about, and pointing them in the right direction is a simple way to do that. The best way to create influence with individuals is through empathy and showing that you care. Always tie the DTU to something meaningful to the other person because personalization is where the meaning is going to be. Everything you do is a brand ambassador. Everything you do is seen and everything you say is heard by someone.   Mo asks Glen Jackson: What is your best advice for an expert that wants to create and close more opportunities? The most important five-letter word in business is trust. Trust is the glue of life. Trust resides on the inside and that makes it extremely powerful. Trust is a mix of character and competency. Your character is your credibility as a human being and your competency is your reliability as a professional. When you combine both the end result is trust. You can’t force trust. Influence is freely accepted, it’s never forcefully delivered. Trust is a peculiar resource. The more you have it and use it, the more you get. It reduces the time and cost of making decisions. When you use the trust you have and don’t abuse it, it snowballs and accumulates over time. Most experts want to start off by doing all the talking, but knowing when to actually say something is key to building trust in a relationship. You should be listening more than speaking and asking thoughtful questions. Look for points of connection between you and the other person. Glen looks for the moment when he can encapsulate the problem they’ve been talking about during the meeting and then relay it back to them to show that he’s understood what they are trying to solve. From there he offers a possible solution to their problem. As a trusted advisor, a lot of people want to know you understand the problem. Don’t rush into trying to offer a solution before that first step. You should be able to recap the problem with clarity, and then provide ideas for moving forward.   Mo asks Glen Jackson: What is your best advice for experts to deepen their relationships? Relationship building is a commitment to establishing and investing in relationships that genuinely matter to you. Many businesses are great at establishing the relationship but fall short on the investing part. Relationship building is the exact opposite of networking. Networking is a task and relationship building is a commitment. Building relationships is more about transformation than a transaction. We live and work in a relational economy. Be more interested than interesting. Cultivate curiosity in what other people are doing and that will help you invest more deeply in that relationship. Great leaders that are preeminent impress at a distance and impact up close. To show your interest in someone, you have to be intentional and disciplined about it. There are four types of relationship builders and each type has a different mindset. You can be an Investor, Connector, Personalizer, or Observer. Play to your strengths and invest in the way the other person would also appreciate it.   Mo asks Glen Jackson: How can we stay on top of relationship building when so much is vying for our attention every day? Have a fresh ice mindset. Glen tells the story of the owner of Home Depot who wanted to discover the secret behind the success of his best performing store. Treating every day as if you had just opened your doors is the mindset you need to succeed in business and relationships. Remind yourself what your values are as an organization and live them out every day. You can’t be perfect but you can aim high. Just like external client-facing relationships, you have to invest in the relationships within the team as well. Just calling someone who would be delighted in hearing from you can make a massive cumulative impact over time. Your voice is something that can’t be replicated by a text or an email.   Mo shares his insights from the habits of Glen Jackson. Do the unexpected. Many business developers find themselves in a sea of sameness. From a positioning and marketing standpoint, everything tends to blend in and look the same. If you’re in that situation the more power you have as an individual human and the more important you are in the decision-making process. The good news about being in an industry that is commoditized is that you are the brand and the differentiator. You are the number one thing that separates you from the competition. You can interact with clients and prospects differently in ways that they aren’t expecting. There are no traffic jams along the extra mile. The more commoditized the industry is, the more that human interaction matters. Trust is vital to relationships and it’s one of the few resources in the world where the more you have and use it, the more you gain. If you’re in a meeting and all you are doing is focusing on building trust it takes the pressure off, speeds up the decision making process, and you are more likely to be chosen the next time. When we focus on building trust first and foremost, the right thing happens for the client and the right thing happens for you. Trust results in more purchases, more referrals, and more word of mouth. Be more interested than interesting. It’s very rare that people are interested more in other people than in speaking about themselves, but tons of research backs up this approach. If you can keep the spotlight on the other person, likeability is formed while you’re asking them questions. If you keep sending it back to them, once the conversation does swing back to you they will be much more curious and interested in you. 80% of the focus should be on the other person.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com pathtopreeminence.com

Mo shares his insights from the habits of Glen Jackson. Do the unexpected. Many business developers find themselves in a sea of sameness. From a positioning and marketing standpoint, everything tends to blend in and look the same. If you’re in that situation the more power you have as an individual human and the more important you are in the decision-making process. The good news about being in an industry that is commoditized is that you are the brand and the differentiator. You are the number one thing that separates you from the competition. You can interact with clients and prospects differently in ways that they aren’t expecting. There are no traffic jams along the extra mile. The more commoditized the industry is, the more that human interaction matters. Trust is vital to relationships and it’s one of the few resources in the world where the more you have and use it, the more you gain. If you’re in a meeting and all you are doing is focusing on building trust it takes the pressure off, speeds up the decision making process, and you are more likely to be chosen the next time. When we focus on building trust first and foremost, the right thing happens for the client and the right thing happens for you. Trust results in more purchases, more referrals, and more word of mouth. Be more interested than interesting. It’s very rare that people are interested more in other people than in speaking about themselves, but tons of research backs up this approach. If you can keep the spotlight on the other person, likeability is formed while you’re asking them questions. If you keep sending it back to them, once the conversation does swing back to you they will be much more curious and interested in you. 80% of the focus should be on the other person.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com pathtopreeminence.com

Mo asks Glen Jackson: How can we stay on top of relationship building when so much is vying for our attention every day? Have a fresh ice mindset. Glen tells the story of the owner of Home Depot who wanted to discover the secret behind the success of his best performing store. Treating every day as if you had just opened your doors is the mindset you need to succeed in business and relationships. Remind yourself what your values are as an organization and live them out every day. You can’t be perfect but you can aim high. Just like external client-facing relationships, you have to invest in the relationships within the team as well. Just calling someone who would be delighted in hearing from you can make a massive cumulative impact over time. Your voice is something that can’t be replicated by a text or an email.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com pathtopreeminence.com

Mo asks Glen Jackson: What is your best advice for experts to deepen their relationships? Relationship building is a commitment to establishing and investing in relationships that genuinely matter to you. Many businesses are great at establishing the relationship but fall short on the investing part. Relationship building is the exact opposite of networking. Networking is a task and relationship building is a commitment. Building relationships is more about transformation than a transaction. We live and work in a relational economy. Be more interested than interesting. Cultivate curiosity in what other people are doing and that will help you invest more deeply in that relationship. Great leaders that are preeminent impress at a distance and impact up close. To show your interest in someone, you have to be intentional and disciplined about it. There are four types of relationship builders and each type has a different mindset. You can be an Investor, Connector, Personalizer, or Observer. Play to your strengths and invest in the way the other person would also appreciate it.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com pathtopreeminence.com

Mo asks Glen Jackson: What is your best advice for an expert that wants to create and close more opportunities? The most important five-letter word in business is trust. Trust is the glue of life. Trust resides on the inside and that makes it extremely powerful. Trust is a mix of character and competency. Your character is your credibility as a human being and your competency is your reliability as a professional. When you combine both the end result is trust. You can’t force trust. Influence is freely accepted, it’s never forcefully delivered. Trust is a peculiar resource. The more you have it and use it, the more you get. It reduces the time and cost of making decisions. When you use the trust you have and don’t abuse it, it snowballs and accumulates over time. Most experts want to start off by doing all the talking, but knowing when to actually say something is key to building trust in a relationship. You should be listening more than speaking and asking thoughtful questions. Look for points of connection between you and the other person. Glen looks for the moment when he can encapsulate the problem they’ve been talking about during the meeting and then relay it back to them to show that he’s understood what they are trying to solve. From there he offers a possible solution to their problem. As a trusted advisor, a lot of people want to know you understand the problem. Don’t rush into trying to offer a solution before that first step. You should be able to recap the problem with clarity, and then provide ideas for moving forward.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com pathtopreeminence.com

Mo asks Glen Jackson: What is your big idea on how we can grow our book of business and enhance our career? Glen’s big idea is the acronym DTU (Do The Unexpected) which is the exact opposite of an IOU. DTU’s are about motivation instead of obligation and when done sincerely and genuinely can be incredibly powerful in creating relationships. They come in all shapes and sizes. A smaller DTU could be writing a handwritten note to someone you interacted with recently. Everyone wants to feel noteworthy, and writing a note is a great example of how to make that happen. When you refresh others, you refresh yourself. Glen tells the story of how he got caught in the rain and was rescued by a cab driver that went out of his way to help Glen, and how Glen paid the cab driver back. One of the easiest ways to show that you care is listening well. In a conversation with someone, you may discover a topic that you can help them learn more about, and pointing them in the right direction is a simple way to do that. The best way to create influence with individuals is through empathy and showing that you care. Always tie the DTU to something meaningful to the other person because personalization is where the meaning is going to be. Everything you do is a brand ambassador. Everything you do is seen and everything you say is heard by someone.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com pathtopreeminence.com

Marissa King shares the science behind the power of your network to create exponential results for your book of business. Learn about the three main network types and the strengths and benefits of each so you can understand exactly how to deepen your relationships and create more opportunities as well as why asking for help is the secret weapon of expert network professionals.   Mo asks Marissa King: How can we grow our book of business and career through networking? Research has shown that ⅔ of professionals, even those whose businesses depend on relationships, are actively resistant to the idea of networking. Our relationships are something that we hold dear, so being intentional and strategic about them seems morally off-putting for many people. We know that networking is certainly important and one of the best ways to overcome your initial resistance to it is to think about what you can give in an interaction instead of what you can get. It’s not just networking that matters, it’s your network. Understanding what your network looks like and what its current strengths are is going to be more effective than just increasing the number of people you know. From three decades of social science research, we know that most of the positive outcomes we care about are determined primarily by the type of network we have. We all have certain network signatures and there are three basic types. The first type is the Convener. These people invest a lot in maintaining existing relationships and have a few deep ties. This preference for stability comes with a lot of trust and emotional/psychological support. The second type is a Brokerage network. Brokers tend to straddle multiple social worlds careerwise, and talk to groups that don’t normally talk to each other. They are in the idea import/export business. Brokers have the strongest personality predictor, known as self-monitoring, which is a chameleon effect. The benefits of this type of network are innovation, creativity, and a better work/life balance. The third type is an Expansionist network, which is the quintessential network. Expansionists know exponentially more people than the average person and this kind of network is great for visibility, popularity, and influence. There is extraordinary value in your existing network, no matter what type you have. What are your current strengths and what needs do you have at the moment? Understanding that is your first step. The key to forming and maintaining a really effective network is in tapping to your existing network’s strengths, rather than just growing it. For Conveners, there is great value in reaching out to dormant connections. Those people are much more likely to provide you with new information because of the underlying trust that still remains. One of the best things you can learn from Brokers is focusing on where you are going rather than who you know. Spend time in a new space or learn a new hobby and by simply putting yourself in a new place you are likely to regenerate your network. The Expansionist ability of being able to give from one to many is a strength that anyone can take advantage of.   Mo asks Marissa King: How can high-end experts create more opportunities to close more business that feels authentic and leverages the idea of a powerful network? One of the most powerful things about networks is that we can use them to think about our relationships in general. You can grow your book of business by matching whatever you’re trying to sell with network thinking. If your product or service is hard to evaluate from the outset, one of the best things you can be is embedded in a network that can vouch for you, like a Convening network. The repeated exposure in this sort of network is critical to selling such a service. If your business involves either keeping people apart or putting them together, one of the key traits you need to cultivate is empathy and the perception of being empathetic. This overcomes the tendency of people to doubt your motives. The takeaway from Expanisionsts is to stay in touch with people in the network on a regular basis, especially if your product or service is easy to understand and purchase. The ability to close deals almost always boils down to trust. High-quality interactions with people in your network, no matter what kind of network it is, are how you build that trust. People want to help you. The power of networks is that when you put individuals together into groups you get outsized gains. By investing in your network and creating value for them, that value comes back multifold to you. When you don’t ask someone for help, you are denying them the ability to be helpful. By asking for help you are actually strengthening the relationship, as well as giving the other person a sense of mastery. People like people who ask for help.   Mo asks Marissa King: How can people use their networks to deepen relationships? Networks are relationships and the quality of those relationships is determined in the moment. Two of the biggest obstacles to deep relationships are simple distractions and not being present in the moment. If you’re in a meeting, turn your phone off and put it away. Simply having a phone on the table during a conversation makes it less pleasurable and it makes you look less empathetic. Research showed that the truth of the parable of the Good Samaritan is that how much of a hurry someone is in determines whether they stop to help. The key for everyone is to slow down and be present. Being in a hurry is the biggest roadblock to real connection. The most effective relationship-building super power you can have is the ability to listen. Most people believe they are great listeners but that’s not the case for the majority. Oftentimes people just need space to be seen and heard. Give them that full space and it’s amazing how quickly relationships can move forward. Self-disclosure and allowing people to see more hidden aspects of yourself is how you connect on a human-to-human basis. Finding uncommon commonalities is the key. If you discover that you both love to unicycle, it will lead to a much deeper connection than more surface level stuff. Give people more color and character. We all want to know each other as humans and that’s all part of your story.   Mo asks Marissa King: How can we hack our own habits to build the most robust networks? Our networks are often our most valuable asset but very few people are intentional about them. You don’t need to invest a lot of time into relationships to grow them, you just need to invest what time you have wisely. Pick one day a week and choose a 15-minute window to commit to reaching out to three people who can help meet whatever needs you have. A good place to start is the Give, Thank, or Ask framework. Send them an article or podcast you think they’d like, thank them for something they did, or ask them for something. People want to help you. The key is to keep the ask small and specific so it’s easy to answer. If someone doesn’t respond or says no, that’s okay too. It’s about putting yourself out there and creating the habit more than the outcome. Studies have shown that people overestimate how many people will say no to them by orders of magnitude. If fear is getting in the way, realize that you are more afraid than necessary. If you are struggling with the idea of connecting with other people, know that you are better than you think and people are more likely to say yes than you think.   Mo shares his insights from the habits of Marissa King. Knowing your network helps you know what to do next. The three major types of networks are Conveners, Brokers, and Expansionists and by knowing your network type, you can know what to do to take it to the next level. Conveners are particularly well suited for people who promote or provide an ambiguous service, for example a high stakes trial lawyer. Having a network that lets people talk about you across different disciplines can be very powerful. For Brokers, thinking with empathy from all sides and knowing when to bring people together is key. For Expansionists, the trick is to keep everyone in your network and in a way that scales. Relationships are formed in moments. There are times when someone comes to you when the effort you put in is exponentially more important. Helping someone in a moment like that is something that they remember forever. Moments of truth are when you really find out what kind of relationships you’ve got. Put your phone aside, ask followup questions, pay attention, look for uncommon commonalities. Being present is something that you can be in control of. Assessing how present you are on a regular basis can make the difference. We all have to ask for help. So many professionals are resistant to asking for help but it’s an incredible way to establish a connection and deepen a relationship. It actually helps the other person at the same time by giving them the feeling of being helpful. That feeling correlates to likeability and self-esteem. Don’t be afraid to ask, you will probably get a positive response either way.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com assessyournetwork.com socialchemistry.com linkedin.com/in/marissadking

Mo shares his insights from the habits of Marissa King. Knowing your network helps you know what to do next. The three major types of networks are Conveners, Brokers, and Expansionists and by knowing your network type, you can know what to do to take it to the next level. Conveners are particularly well suited for people who promote or provide an ambiguous service, for example a high stakes trial lawyer. Having a network that lets people talk about you across different disciplines can be very powerful. For Brokers, thinking with empathy from all sides and knowing when to bring people together is key. For Expansionists, the trick is to keep everyone in your network and in a way that scales. Relationships are formed in moments. There are times when someone comes to you when the effort you put in is exponentially more important. Helping someone in a moment like that is something that they remember forever. Moments of truth are when you really find out what kind of relationships you’ve got. Put your phone aside, ask followup questions, pay attention, look for uncommon commonalities. Being present is something that you can be in control of. Assessing how present you are on a regular basis can make the difference. We all have to ask for help. So many professionals are resistant to asking for help but it’s an incredible way to establish a connection and deepen a relationship. It actually helps the other person at the same time by giving them the feeling of being helpful. That feeling correlates to likeability and self-esteem. Don’t be afraid to ask, you will probably get a positive response either way.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com assessyournetwork.com socialchemistry.com

Mo asks Marissa King: How can we hack our own habits to build the most robust networks? Our networks are often our most valuable asset but very few people are intentional about them. You don’t need to invest a lot of time into relationships to grow them, you just need to invest what time you have wisely. Pick one day a week and choose a 15-minute window to commit to reaching out to three people who can help meet whatever needs you have. A good place to start is the Give, Thank, or Ask framework. Send them an article or podcast you think they’d like, thank them for something they did, or ask them for something. People want to help you. The key is to keep the ask small and specific so it’s easy to answer. If someone doesn’t respond or says no, that’s okay too. It’s about putting yourself out there and creating the habit more than the outcome. Studies have shown that people overestimate how many people will say no to them by orders of magnitude. If fear is getting in the way, realize that you are more afraid than necessary. If you are struggling with the idea of connecting with other people, know that you are better than you think and people are more likely to say yes than you think.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com socialchemistry.com assessyournetwork.com linkedin.com/in/marissadking

Mo asks Marissa King: How can people use their networks to deepen relationships? Networks are relationships and the quality of those relationships is determined in the moment. Two of the biggest obstacles to deep relationships are simple distractions and not being present in the moment. If you’re in a meeting, turn your phone off and put it away. Simply having a phone on the table during a conversation makes it less pleasurable and it makes you look less empathetic. Research showed that the truth of the parable of the Good Samaritan is that how much of a hurry someone is in determines whether they stop to help. The key for everyone is to slow down and be present. Being in a hurry is the biggest roadblock to real connection. The most effective relationship-building super power you can have is the ability to listen. Most people believe they are great listeners but that’s not the case for the majority. Oftentimes people just need space to be seen and heard. Give them that full space and it’s amazing how quickly relationships can move forward. Self-disclosure and allowing people to see more hidden aspects of yourself is how you connect on a human-to-human basis. Finding uncommon commonalities is the key. If you discover that you both love to unicycle, it will lead to a much deeper connection than more surface level stuff. Give people more color and character. We all want to know each other as humans and that’s all part of your story.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com socialchemistry.com

Mo asks Marissa King: How can high-end experts create more opportunities to close more business that feels authentic and leverages the idea of a powerful network? One of the most powerful things about networks is that we can use them to think about our relationships in general. You can grow your book of business by matching whatever you’re trying to sell with network thinking. If your product or service is hard to evaluate from the outset, one of the best things you can be is embedded in a network that can vouch for you, like a Convening network. The repeated exposure in this sort of network is critical to selling such a service. If your business involves either keeping people apart or putting them together, one of the key traits you need to cultivate is empathy and the perception of being empathetic. This overcomes the tendency of people to doubt your motives. The takeaway from Expanisionsts is to stay in touch with people in the network on a regular basis, especially if your product or service is easy to understand and purchase. The ability to close deals almost always boils down to trust. High-quality interactions with people in your network, no matter what kind of network it is, are how you build that trust. People want to help you. The power of networks is that when you put individuals together into groups you get outsized gains. By investing in your network and creating value for them, that value comes back multifold to you. When you don’t ask someone for help, you are denying them the ability to be helpful. By asking for help you are actually strengthening the relationship, as well as giving the other person a sense of mastery. People like people who ask for help.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com socialchemistry.com

Mo asks Marissa King: How can we grow our book of business and career through networking? Research has shown that ⅔ of professionals, even those whose businesses depend on relationships, are actively resistant to the idea of networking. Our relationships are something that we hold dear, so being intentional and strategic about them seems morally off-putting for many people. We know that networking is certainly important and one of the best ways to overcome your initial resistance to it is to think about what you can give in an interaction instead of what you can get. It’s not just networking that matters, it’s your network. Understanding what your network looks like and what its current strengths are is going to be more effective than just increasing the number of people you know. From three decades of social science research, we know that most of the positive outcomes we care about are determined primarily by the type of network we have. We all have certain network signatures and there are three basic types. The first type is the Convener. These people invest a lot in maintaining existing relationships and have a few deep ties. This preference for stability comes with a lot of trust and emotional/psychological support. The second type is a Brokerage network. Brokers tend to straddle multiple social worlds careerwise, and talk to groups that don’t normally talk to each other. They are in the idea import/export business. Brokers have the strongest personality predictor, known as self-monitoring, which is a chameleon effect. The benefits of this type of network are innovation, creativity, and a better work/life balance. The third type is an Expansionist network, which is the quintessential network. Expansionists know exponentially more people than the average person and this kind of network is great for visibility, popularity, and influence. There is extraordinary value in your existing network, no matter what type you have. What are your current strengths and what needs do you have at the moment? Understanding that is your first step. The key to forming and maintaining a really effective network is in tapping to your existing network’s strengths, rather than just growing it. For Conveners, there is great value in reaching out to dormant connections. Those people are much more likely to provide you with new information because of the underlying trust that still remains. One of the best things you can learn from Brokers is focusing on where you are going rather than who you know. Spend time in a new space or learn a new hobby and by simply putting yourself in a new place you are likely to regenerate your network. The Expansionist ability of being able to give from one to many is a strength that anyone can take advantage of.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com assessyournetwork.com

Kara Goldin shares how she persevered through difficult setbacks and challenges on her way to growing a $100 million beverage company by being relentlessly curious and creating her own opportunities out of adversity. Learn how great business developers can ensure their long-term success by thinking differently, always looking for the opportunities around them, and creating a persistent mindset around adding value to their client’s business.   Mo asks Kara Goldin: What is your best advice on how to focus on business development, grow our book of business, and grow our career? The first thing you can do is take care of your existing customer base since they were the customers that got everything started. Our natural instinct is to fear the companies with more money and more experience, but historically speaking those are the companies that end up in trouble because of their inability to change. The key to great business development is to figure out how to think differently. To look for new opportunities you need to come at them from the point of view of the underdog with passion and curiosity. As a consultant, sitting back and waiting for an RFP to land in your inbox is not a good strategy. You become stuck in reactive mode and more commoditized, with a low chance of winning. Creating your own opportunities is much more important. Kara learned early on not to listen to all the rules, and by doing so she ended up gaining access to an incredible amount of opportunities. She relates the story of landing her first job out of college and how the skill of “half-listening” and just being willing to learn and put herself out there opened doors for her all over the country. Don’t answer for other people. When it comes to pursuing relationships, don’t dismiss yourself before you try. Overthinking is what prevents people from creating the relationships and networks they want to have. Have fun with it and brush off the rejection. Perseverance is 100% a skill that you can learn and master. History definitely helps us if we allow it to help us. Look back at what worked and what didn’t.   Mo asks Kara Goldin: What can we do to create and close more opportunities? Look around at the unique opportunities that other people are not paying attention to. The key to being the best salesperson or business development person is always looking for a way to solve problems and thinking like the customer. Don’t be afraid to think differently and put yourself in the shoes of your customer so you can see their problems from their perspective. The key to understanding people is in understanding what they really want. What is the one thing that they care about most and how can you help them get it? Most business developers make the mistake of starting with themselves and what they want. Creating opportunities is fundamentally about listening to people and understanding what problem they want to solve. Kara is an incredibly curious person who likes to ask questions and this is how she finds the opportunity to help someone. Kara gains more inspiration by learning from other businesses outside her industry. She prefers to expose herself to new ideas and new approaches by purposely putting herself in situations where she’s going to learn something new. Just being a good person and doing what you do well every single day is how you attract more opportunities into your life. Acknowledging someone else’s problem and authentically trying to help them with it is the simple secret to success.   Mo asks Kara Goldin: What is the best way to deepen relationships with the people who matter to us? Deepening relationships stems from understanding what other people’s goals are and what you have in common with them. Before meetings, Kara doesn’t do much research because she wants to understand what’s important to them directly. People remember the surreal moments in their life. Unlikely shared experiences with someone are a great way to create a connection with them and develop an authentic relationship. You have to do the work and have a presentation ready, but if you can relate with the prospect and have a genuine conversation with them it can be even more persuasive. Building a relationship in unique ways is a simple way to set you apart. The first interaction is often awkward, but if you push through and break the ice, the next interaction can be seamless. To rekindle older relationships, engage them along the lines of something that you share. Just reaching out and making an offer to have them join you for an event or webinar is a great way to start off and almost no one does it. Asking why is a powerful tool to finding a solution to problems. Being in the pursuit of a solution can allow you to become a connector for other people. If you can be a bridge for other people, you become more valuable to them and they will often want to reciprocate.   Mo asks Kara Goldin: What is your habit when you get told no? Kara was a gymnast when she was growing up but she never really excelled at it. It was during those training sessions where she learned the discipline to always look for the good in the experience. Kara tells the story of how she lost Starbucks as a client for the Hint beverage company, a loss of 40% of her business in the span of two weeks. Despite the loss, having the product in Starbucks was the foundation of her opportunity to get into Amazon’s grocery business and led to Kara realizing that customer data is crucial. After being told by both Starbucks and Amazon that they weren’t going to share their customer data with her, Kara realized that she needed to focus on business development and start her own direct-to-consumer business. Seven years later, direct-to-consumer sales are now over 50% of the business. There were plenty of naysayers that said beverages can’t be sold over the mail but business has tripled since the beginning of the pandemic, which wouldn’t have happened had Kara listened to the people saying it couldn’t be done. Challenges and failures are the learnings that help you to do better in the long run. Great growth-oriented business developers take a setback and feel the pain, yet realize that there is something to learn from and opportunities can still come from it. When you get told no, it’s important to understand their why. Maybe that deal is not meant to be part of your journey but there is always something to learn from the experience and opportunity to find out more. Get all the info you can. A phone call about why you lost may not sound like a fun conversation but can be very enlightening. Be a resource to people that is a joy to be around. Resourcefulness is a crucial aspect of business development. Understanding the probabilities also helps give you perspective. If you are swinging for the fences and have a low probability of success and you know that, if it doesn’t work out it’s not going to be so disappointing.   Mo shares his insights from the habits of Kara Goldin. Think differently. Expose yourself to lots of different ways of thinking by going outside of your industry and learning from people who do things differently. Typically when you go to conferences with like-minded people who are doing the same things you are, you tend towards the average of those people. By exposing yourself to completely different industries, you open yourself up to incredible insights. If you share the same struggle but day-to-day work is very different, that’s where you can find some of your best ideas. This is the reason mastermind groups can be so powerful. If you aren't part of a group with diverse perspectives and experiences, either join one or create one. Create your own opportunities. The best opportunities are created before a client knows they have them. This goes back to the “move without the ball” concept from Mike Daimler. Average business developers wait until they receive an opportunity and then they react. Great business developers create their own opportunities by investing in the potential client and put themselves in a position where they are the natural choice. Offer your time upfront at no charge and dig into a client’s problem. Start helping them and end it at the point where you should get paid to do the real heavy lifting. A great give-to-get satisfies three criteria. It’s relatively easy for you, it should be valuable to the client, and it should lead to the next step. The number one correlation to success is to keep helping people. Great business developers are undaunted and keep reaching out and finding ways to help. They create connections and show that they care. Most people quit after one setback. Great business developers are undaunted, continue to be helpful, and are always adding value.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com karagoldin.com - Get her book Undaunted

Mo shares his insights from the habits of Kara Goldin. Think differently. Expose yourself to lots of different ways of thinking by going outside of your industry and learning from people who do things differently. Typically when you go to conferences with like-minded people who are doing the same things you are, you tend towards the average of those people. By exposing yourself to completely different industries, you open yourself up to incredible insights. If you share the same struggle but day-to-day work is very different, that’s where you can find some of your best ideas. This is the reason mastermind groups can be so powerful. If you aren't part of a group with diverse perspectives and experiences, either join one or create one. Create your own opportunities. The best opportunities are created before a client knows they have them. This goes back to the “move without the ball” concept from Mike Daimler. Average business developers wait until they receive an opportunity and then they react. Great business developers create their own opportunities by investing in the potential client and put themselves in a position where they are the natural choice. Offer your time upfront at no charge and dig into a client’s problem. Start helping them and end it at the point where you should get paid to do the real heavy lifting. A great give-to-get satisfies three criteria. It’s relatively easy for you, it should be valuable to the client, and it should lead to the next step. The number one correlation to success is to keep helping people. Great business developers are undaunted and keep reaching out and finding ways to help. They create connections and show that they care. Most people quit after one setback. Great business developers are undaunted, continue to be helpful, and are always adding value.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com karagoldin.com - Get her book Undaunted

Mo asks Kara Goldin: What is your habit when you get told no? Kara was a gymnast when she was growing up but she never really excelled at it. It was during those training sessions where she learned the discipline to always look for the good in the experience. Kara tells the story of how she lost Starbucks as a client for the Hint beverage company, a loss of 40% of her business in the span of two weeks. Despite the loss, having the product in Starbucks was the foundation of her opportunity to get into Amazon’s grocery business and led to Kara realizing that customer data is crucial. After being told by both Starbucks and Amazon that they weren’t going to share their customer data with her, Kara realized that she needed to focus on business development and start her own direct-to-consumer business. Seven years later, direct-to-consumer sales are now over 50% of the business. There were plenty of naysayers that said beverages can’t be sold over the mail but business has tripled since the beginning of the pandemic, which wouldn’t have happened had Kara listened to the people saying it couldn’t be done. Challenges and failures are the learnings that help you to do better in the long run. Great growth-oriented business developers take a setback and feel the pain, yet realize that there is something to learn from and opportunities can still come from it. When you get told no, it’s important to understand their why. Maybe that deal is not meant to be part of your journey but there is always something to learn from the experience and opportunity to find out more. Get all the info you can. A phone call about why you lost may not sound like a fun conversation but can be very enlightening. Be a resource to people that is a joy to be around. Resourcefulness is a crucial aspect of business development. Understanding the probabilities also helps give you perspective. If you are swinging for the fences and have a low probability of success and you know that, if it doesn’t work out it’s not going to be so disappointing.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com karagoldin.com - Get her book Undaunted

Mo asks Kara Goldin: What can we do to create and close more opportunities? Look around at the unique opportunities that other people are not paying attention to. The key to being the best salesperson or business development person is always looking for a way to solve problems and thinking like the customer. Don’t be afraid to think differently and put yourself in the shoes of your customer so you can see their problems from their perspective. The key to understanding people is in understanding what they really want. What is the one thing that they care about most and how can you help them get it? Most business developers make the mistake of starting with themselves and what they want. Creating opportunities is fundamentally about listening to people and understanding what problem they want to solve. Kara is an incredibly curious person who likes to ask questions and this is how she finds the opportunity to help someone. Kara gains more inspiration by learning from other businesses outside her industry. She prefers to expose herself to new ideas and new approaches by purposely putting herself in situations where she’s going to learn something new. Just being a good person and doing what you do well every single day is how you attract more opportunities into your life. Acknowledging someone else’s problem and authentically trying to help them with it is the simple secret to success.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com karagoldin.com - Get her book Undaunted

Mo asks Kara Goldin: What can we do to create and close more opportunities? Look around at the unique opportunities that other people are not paying attention to. The key to being the best salesperson or business development person is always looking for a way to solve problems and thinking like the customer. Don’t be afraid to think differently and put yourself in the shoes of your customer so you can see their problems from their perspective. The key to understanding people is in understanding what they really want. What is the one thing that they care about most and how can you help them get it? Most business developers make the mistake of starting with themselves and what they want. Creating opportunities is fundamentally about listening to people and understanding what problem they want to solve. Kara is an incredibly curious person who likes to ask questions and this is how she finds the opportunity to help someone. Kara gains more inspiration by learning from other businesses outside her industry. She prefers to expose herself to new ideas and new approaches by purposely putting herself in situations where she’s going to learn something new. Just being a good person and doing what you do well every single day is how you attract more opportunities into your life. Acknowledging someone else’s problem and authentically trying to help them with it is the simple secret to success.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com karagoldin.com - Get her book Undaunted

Mo asks Kara Goldin: What is your best advice on how to focus on business development, grow our book of business, and grow our career? The first thing you can do is take care of your existing customer base since they were the customers that got everything started. Our natural instinct is to fear the companies with more money and more experience, but historically speaking those are the companies that end up in trouble because of their inability to change. The key to great business development is to figure out how to think differently. To look for new opportunities you need to come at them from the point of view of the underdog with passion and curiosity. As a consultant, sitting back and waiting for an RFP to land in your inbox is not a good strategy. You become stuck in reactive mode and more commoditized, with a low chance of winning. Creating your own opportunities is much more important. Kara learned early on not to listen to all the rules, and by doing so she ended up gaining access to an incredible amount of opportunities. She relates the story of landing her first job out of college and how the skill of “half-listening” and just being willing to learn and put herself out there opened doors for her all over the country. Don’t answer for other people. When it comes to pursuing relationships, don’t dismiss yourself before you try. Overthinking is what prevents people from creating the relationships and networks they want to have. Have fun with it and brush off the rejection. Perseverance is 100% a skill that you can learn and master. History definitely helps us if we allow it to help us. Look back at what worked and what didn’t.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com karagoldin.com - Get her book Undaunted

Grant Baldwin shares how getting booked and paid to speak not only positions you as the authority in your space, it can help you create and deepen relationships with potentially hundreds or thousands of your ideal clients all at the same time. Learn how to create and close more deals from the stage, how to set up a system that puts your follow-up process on autopilot, and how to fill your pipeline for years to come.   Mo asks Grant Baldwin: What’s your big idea on how to get better at business development? Public speaking is the key and because of Covid, there is even more opportunity for virtual speaking. One of the major benefits of public speaking is that you get real-time feedback from the audience. Like a business idea, a presentation is an educated guess, and getting feedback is crucial. You can see people responding directly to what you’re saying and you get immediate feedback that can help you refine your message and idea. Speaking also builds rapport and connection with people in a way that isn’t possible via an email or blog post. Speaking is no different than any other service-based business and the human connection plays a major part in that. Many people try to overcomplicate speaking or think that they need to be famous in order to speak, but as speakers you are simply in the problem solving business. In the corporate world, speaking is a form of lead generation. From a speaking stand point, you become the authority on what you talk about and it can generate a lot of business for you at the same time. Speaking is flexible and you get to decide how it fits into your business. It can be a full-time effort or just a few times a year, it’s up to you. If you are an account manager, speaking will help you better understand the challenges that your audience/clients are experiencing. You can use that information to become better at what you do. You can use speaking as a marketing engine as well as for getting into the weeds with your clients and understanding their problems on a deeper level. Speaking can also give you the confidence to take on more responsibility within your organization.   Mo asks Grant Baldwin: How can people use public speaking to create and close deals? As speakers, we have to realize that we are in the problem solving business. The audience doesn’t care about whether you are passionate about your topic, they want to know why what you are saying matters and what it means to them. Be very clear about what actual problem you are solving for your audience. The more specific, narrow, and clear you can be, the easier it is to book gigs. One of the most common mistakes is speaking to everyone about everything. We need to hone down our message and narrow our focus. By doing one thing really well, you’re more likely to attract the right clients and the right audience. As speakers, one of the best things you can do to build your business is to be really clear about solving one specific problem for one specific audience. The other key is learning where your ideal audience gathers. All over the world, there are natural gathering points for the people that are your ideal clients. The first thing you should do is to begin building relationships with the organizers of those spaces. Conferences and trade shows are already interested in finding speakers for those events,so getting an audience with them is an easy way to get your foot in the door. Another possible avenue is to organize your own event. For many audiences, there is no existing gathering point so creating your own event is a great way to fill a room and give a speech directly to the people you want to speak to. Virtual events are another great option, especially as people become more comfortable with the technology involved, and they can be put together more spontaneously than an in-person event. Events don’t have to be large to be valuable. Small local events are a good resource too. Event planners are in the risk mitigation business so there has to be a high level of trust in the the speakers they hire. One of the best ways to create that experience with you as a speaker is to invite people to your presentations and create a mixed audience of clients and prospects.   Mo asks Grant Baldwin: How can we use speaking to deepen relationships? One of the best things about speaking is that oftentimes it’s an in-person human experience. People do business with those they know, like, and trust, and there’s no better way for that than meeting someone in person at a conference or an event, especially if you’re a speaker who is seen as an authority. Speaking at an event gives the audience a sense of who you are, and whether they can trust you to connect with their people. It’s a way to build the camaraderie and rapport that leads to future business. Being a speaker at an event changes the way people think about you. Your perceived value and reputation skyrockets after speaking and you’re assigned a certain level of authority that’s hard to replicate in other ways. Being a speaker also gives you the opportunity to get to know other speakers. Speaking gigs don’t always result in commercial opportunities right away; sometimes they are a means of connecting to other speaking opportunities. You never know who will be in the audience and what that relationship could turn into. Part of being a speaker is planting a lot of different seeds with a large number of people. Being a speaker is a long-term business and you can find opportunities by being persistent, following up, and just constantly showing up.   Mo asks Grant Baldwin: How can we hack our habits to keep focusing on the long-term and stay top-of-mind? Speaking is a person-to-person business. One of the keys to success as a speaker is regularly following up with past events or with events that you would like to speak at. There is a consistent turnover each year as event organizers look for new voices and little touch points over the course of a few years will help you stay top-of-mind when they begin the process of looking for their next speaker. The more times someone is exposed to you and what you do, the more likely they are to feel familiar with you and take you up on your offer. To organize your follow-up efforts you need to have a system. This could be in the form of a spreadsheet or a CRM, but it can’t just be in your head. Pre-schedule your follow-up tasks months into the future, that way your only day-to-day task will be to check your CRM and see what you need to do in terms of follow-up for that day. One of the most important things you can do as a speaker is have a system in place to help you be responsible in your follow-up. When you do follow up after promising to do so, you’re giving the person a taste of what it is like to work with you. People want to do business with people who make their life easy. In terms of tasks and time, Grant checks his CRM (currently Hubspot, but the software isn’t as important as the system) each day and then executes on that follow-up task first. These follow-up tasks also give him a high level view of the leads in his pipeline which allows him to plan ahead. Like a flywheel, you have to keep putting energy and effort into your business or at some point it’s going to stop. You need to put in a little bit of work each day to keep your business going. Build in the time now or it’s going to be 100 times harder to get things going again in six months when you run out of work.   Mo shares his insights from the habits of Grant Baldwin. Speaking is an incredible way to simultaneously create and close business at the same time, either by going to where your ideal client already gathers or by organizing your own event. Both methods work well. If you’re trying to land a speaking gig for a big event or conference, you usually have to start a year in advance. You need to figure out who the decision makers are and get your name in front of them before they start looking for speakers. Learn what themes they want to emphasize for the following year and get into a dialogue with them so you can show them you can deliver on what they want to accomplish. Ideally, you want to be able to show why your unique perspective will solve their problem. If you can stay top-of-mind while they are writing out what they are looking for in a speaker, you’re going to win far more often. If you do the work up front and help them shape where the event is going, it will greatly increase the odds of your success. If your ideal client tends not to gather in a specific space then putting your own conference together can create great results. The first step is to find one or two partners and then look to work together with a university or non-profit. If you can combine someone known for their knowledge, someone known for their technology, and someone known for their research, you can create an incredible brand for your conference. This kind of event creates an incredible level of collaboration between you and your partners as well as for the people attending. Sometimes it’s best to start with a small, intimate group instead of a grand-scale event. When you’re speaking, you’re building a relationship with your audience at scale. There is a major difference between delivering a talk on your own and delivering it with a client. Not only is it an incredible relationship-building experience with that client, you are also able to change the mindset and expectation of the audience at the same time. One of the biggest benefits of speaking is the scale and efficiency of each presentation. Make your talk about whatever you would talk about in a one-on-one conversation. Don’t let the organizer determine the topic completely. Instead find win/wins that meet in the middle. People do what they rehearse in their mind. Ideally, you want people in your audience identifying with the stories you’re telling on the stage. At some point in the conversation, you make the next step as easy as possible. The goal is to have a speech that actually converts into a conversation with the people you want to talk to, either by making the offer directly in the presentation or by offering a more in-depth one-to-one discussion.   Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com thespeakerlab.com

Mo shares his insights from the habits of Grant Baldwin. Speaking is an incredible way to simultaneously create and close business at the same time, either by going to where your ideal client already gathers or by organizing your own event. Both methods work well. If you’re trying to land a speaking gig for a big event or conference, you usually have to start a year in advance. You need to figure out who the decision makers are and get your name in front of them before they start looking for speakers. Learn what themes they want to emphasize for the following year and get into a dialogue with them so you can show them you can deliver on what they want to accomplish. Ideally, you want to be able to show why your unique perspective will solve their problem. If you can stay top-of-mind while they are writing out what they are looking for in a speaker, you’re going to win far more often. If you do the work up front and help them shape where the event is going, it will greatly increase the odds of your success. If your ideal client tends not to gather in a specific space then putting your own conference together can create great results. The first step is to find one or two partners and then look to work together with a university or non-profit. If you can combine someone known for their knowledge, someone known for their technology, and someone known for their research, you can create an incredible brand for your conference. This kind of event creates an incredible level of collaboration between you and your partners as well as for the people attending. Sometimes it’s best to start with a small, intimate group instead of a grand-scale event. When you’re speaking, you’re building a relationship with your audience at scale. There is a major difference between delivering a talk on your own and delivering it with a client. Not only is it an incredible relationship-building experience with that client, you are also able to change the mindset and expectation of the audience at the same time. One of the biggest benefits of speaking is the scale and efficiency of each presentation. Make your talk about whatever you would talk about in a one-on-one conversation. Don’t let the organizer determine the topic completely. Instead find win/wins that meet in the middle. People do what they rehearse in their mind. Ideally, you want people in your audience identifying with the stories you’re telling on the stage. At some point in the conversation, you make the next step as easy as possible. The goal is to have a speech that actually converts into a conversation with the people you want to talk to, either by making the offer directly in the presentation or by offering a more in-depth one-to-one discussion.   Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com thespeakerlab.com

Mo asks Grant Baldwin: How can we hack our habits to keep focusing on the long-term and stay top-of-mind? Speaking is a person-to-person business. One of the keys to success as a speaker is regularly following up with past events or with events that you would like to speak at. There is a consistent turnover each year as event organizers look for new voices and little touch points over the course of a few years will help you stay top-of-mind when they begin the process of looking for their next speaker. The more times someone is exposed to you and what you do, the more likely they are to feel familiar with you and take you up on your offer. To organize your follow-up efforts you need to have a system. This could be in the form of a spreadsheet or a CRM, but it can’t just be in your head. Pre-schedule your follow-up tasks months into the future, that way your only day-to-day task will be to check your CRM and see what you need to do in terms of follow-up for that day. One of the most important things you can do as a speaker is have a system in place to help you be responsible in your follow-up. When you do follow up after promising to do so, you’re giving the person a taste of what it is like to work with you. People want to do business with people who make their life easy. In terms of tasks and time, Grant checks his CRM (currently Hubspot, but the software isn’t as important as the system) each day and then executes on that follow-up task first. These follow-up tasks also give him a high level view of the leads in his pipeline which allows him to plan ahead. Like a flywheel, you have to keep putting energy and effort into your business or at some point it’s going to stop. You need to put in a little bit of work each day to keep your business going. Build in the time now or it’s going to be 100 times harder to get things going again in six months when you run out of work.   Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com thespeakerlab.com

Mo asks Grant Baldwin: How can we use speaking to deepen relationships? One of the best things about speaking is that oftentimes it’s an in-person human experience. People do business with those they know, like, and trust, and there’s no better way for that than meeting someone in person at a conference or an event, especially if you’re a speaker who is seen as an authority. Speaking at an event gives the audience a sense of who you are, and whether they can trust you to connect with their people. It’s a way to build the camaraderie and rapport that leads to future business. Being a speaker at an event changes the way people think about you. Your perceived value and reputation skyrockets after speaking and you’re assigned a certain level of authority that’s hard to replicate in other ways. Being a speaker also gives you the opportunity to get to know other speakers. Speaking gigs don’t always result in commercial opportunities right away; sometimes they are a means of connecting to other speaking opportunities. You never know who will be in the audience and what that relationship could turn into. Part of being a speaker is planting a lot of different seeds with a large number of people. Being a speaker is a long-term business and you can find opportunities by being persistent, following up, and just constantly showing up.   Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com thespeakerlab.com

Mo asks Grant Baldwin: How can people use public speaking to create and close deals? As speakers, we have to realize that we are in the problem solving business. The audience doesn’t care about whether you are passionate about your topic, they want to know why what you are saying matters and what it means to them. Be very clear about what actual problem you are solving for your audience. The more specific, narrow, and clear you can be, the easier it is to book gigs. One of the most common mistakes is speaking to everyone about everything. We need to hone down our message and narrow our focus. By doing one thing really well, you’re more likely to attract the right clients and the right audience. As speakers, one of the best things you can do to build your business is to be really clear about solving one specific problem for one specific audience. The other key is learning where your ideal audience gathers. All over the world, there are natural gathering points for the people that are your ideal clients. The first thing you should do is to begin building relationships with the organizers of those spaces. Conferences and trade shows are already interested in finding speakers for those events,so getting an audience with them is an easy way to get your foot in the door. Another possible avenue is to organize your own event. For many audiences, there is no existing gathering point so creating your own event is a great way to fill a room and give a speech directly to the people you want to speak to. Virtual events are another great option, especially as people become more comfortable with the technology involved, and they can be put together more spontaneously than an in-person event. Events don’t have to be large to be valuable. Small local events are a good resource too. Event planners are in the risk mitigation business so there has to be a high level of trust in the the speakers they hire. One of the best ways to create that experience with you as a speaker is to invite people to your presentations and create a mixed audience of clients and prospects.   Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com thespeakerlab.com

Mo asks Grant Baldwin: What’s your big idea on how to get better at business development? Public speaking is the key and because of Covid, there is even more opportunity for virtual speaking. One of the major benefits of public speaking is that you get real-time feedback from the audience. Like a business idea, a presentation is an educated guess, and getting feedback is crucial. You can see people responding directly to what you’re saying and you get immediate feedback that can help you refine your message and idea. Speaking also builds rapport and connection with people in a way that isn’t possible via an email or blog post. Speaking is no different than any other service-based business and the human connection plays a major part in that. Many people try to overcomplicate speaking or think that they need to be famous in order to speak, but as speakers you are simply in the problem solving business. In the corporate world, speaking is a form of lead generation. From a speaking stand point, you become the authority on what you talk about and it can generate a lot of business for you at the same time. Speaking is flexible and you get to decide how it fits into your business. It can be a full-time effort or just a few times a year, it’s up to you. If you are an account manager, speaking will help you better understand the challenges that your audience/clients are experiencing. You can use that information to become better at what you do. You can use speaking as a marketing engine as well as for getting into the weeds with your clients and understanding their problems on a deeper level. Speaking can also give you the confidence to take on more responsibility within your organization.   Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com thespeakerlab.com

David Burkus shares extremely timely strategies for deepening your relationships in a virtual world, whether that’s within your team that’s spread across the globe or with prospective clients that are just getting to know you. Learn how to create a system for communication that makes your remote team more effective, how to recreate the white space online where bonds and trust are built, and how to ask better questions to really get to know someone.   Mo asks David Burkus: How do you develop relationships with your clients virtually? The future of work is working from anywhere. The truth is that we are not going back to the office. Even before the pandemic, studies were showing that people are more engaged when they are out of the office 40% to 60% of the time. We need greater flexibility, trust, and autonomy with the people that we collaborate with in a remote environment. Communication is actually more important now that it was before. We can’t take as many non-verbal cues as we could when we were working together, so we need to be more deliberate and empathetic in our communication. One of the first things we need to be doing with prospective clients is talking about how we are going to be working together. This is now part of the process of closing the deal. One major tip is that eye contact is not eye contact when you’re communicating online. You have to look into the camera lens to recreate the experience and connection of eye contact. The other thing to realize is that communication is more asynchronous than ever before. Make sure you have clear writing and thinking in your written communication. You also have to be clear about what each method of communication is meant for. To enroll clients, the easiest way is to have an established communications system within your team already. Create a team-working agreement and then use that to create the framework of client communication. Schedule a meeting to create your team-working agreement, and get answers to all of the questions written down into a shared document. Then get every team member to agree.   Mo asks David Burkus: How can we create demand and get deals done virtually? The traditional method of closing a deal usually involved meeting clients in person but it wasn’t the activity itself that determined the failure or success of the deal. It was the whitespace around the meeting that built the bonds that led to trust. Most people don’t build that into their virtual meetings, which is something that we really need to do. You build trust and bonds in the unstructured, open space around the meeting time and you need to build that into remote environments. What are the white space moments that built relationships in person and how can you recreate those experiences in your remote working environment? To allow people to get to know each other, give them space to ask questions and get answers. Structure some questions to allow people to learn about each other and in a way where everyone has the opportunity to share a problem they are facing. One of the best questions you can ask is “If you and I are meeting again a year from now over a bottle of Champagne, what are we celebrating?”   Mo asks David Burkus: How do we develop and deepen relationships when everything is virtual? A study showed that the average person’s network shrunk by 25% to 30% over the first half of 2020. That decrease was almost entirely driven by males because of the general tendency for men to bond over activities. We tried to recreate these activities virtually but it doesn’t work the same way. When you’re looking to use a tool like Zoom to deepen a relationship, it requires more structure. You have to show up with questions and a level of conversation designed to deepen the relationship. Work sprints are another option, which are scheduled times where you complete your work in a meeting environment to emulate the coworking space. In addition to these activities, you can also introduce rituals into your team communication to deepen the connection. Between structured conversations that explore non-work topics and physical things like rituals, we can go pretty far in deepening relationships in a remote working environment. The questions don’t matter as much as having a plan and being intentional. Asking questions that are open-ended and answered in a work or non-work context is a good start. One of David’s favorite questions is “Who is your favorite superhero?” No matter what the answer is, you will learn something interesting about the other person. The more you know about someone, the more reason you have to follow up with them and find you have something in common.   Mo asks David Burkus: How can we keep focused on doing the right things when we are constantly distracted in this virtual world? The short answer is to not focus on it. Studies have shown that when timelines are too far away we tend to think that it’s going to be too difficult to accomplish. This applies to health and investing, as well as career goals. The key is to make the long game into your short-term goal. You will always default to the short term. Think about your long-term project and identify the milestones that will lead up to it, then focus in on those. This is especially important in a remote environment where no one is actively looking over your shoulder to make sure you’re getting things done. Milestones have to be co-created with the client. Your team also needs a regular check in process where you cover three key things for each person involved: “What did we just accomplish?”, “What are we focused on now?”, and “What is blocking our progress?” The real challenge in a client engagement is when nobody wants to admit they need help. If you take the time to record those regular check-ins and address the obstacles to progress, you can avoid that situation. Without a regular cadence of communication, you can end up with a client that is really angry with you and you may not know the reason why.   Mo shares his insights from the habits of David Burkus. Figuring out how to work and thrive in a virtual world is only going to become more important going forward. We need to have an agreement with our internal teams and our clients regarding how we are going to work together and communicate with each other. You need to know which platforms are meant for what kinds of communication so that you can be more efficient and effective. Once you work it out internally, you can share it with your clients and give them an idea of how you can work together while also giving them a model to implement in their own businesses. White space built into your remote meetings is crucial. The white space around traditional in person meetings doesn’t happen anymore and that was where the informal chat occurred that allowed relationships to develop naturally. Add space to your calendar to have the meeting before the meeting to make this easier. Be more intentional with your questions. In a virtual world it’s even more important. Being general upfront and asking questions that can be answered either personally or professionally are great for opening up the possibility of getting to know the person. The Champagne Question is a great first step to helping a client craft a future that’s better for them. People need positivity and optimism in their life and  you can add that to their life by asking them the right questions and exploring the answers.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com davidburkus.com

Mo shares his insights from the habits of David Burkus. Figuring out how to work and thrive in a virtual world is only going to become more important going forward. We need to have an agreement with our internal teams and our clients regarding how we are going to work together and communicate with each other. You need to know which platforms are meant for what kinds of communication so that you can be more efficient and effective. Once you work it out internally, you can share it with your clients and give them an idea of how you can work together while also giving them a model to implement in their own businesses. White space built into your remote meetings is crucial. The white space around traditional in person meetings doesn’t happen anymore and that was where the informal chat occurred that allowed relationships to develop naturally. Add space to your calendar to have the meeting before the meeting to make this easier. Be more intentional with your questions. In a virtual world it’s even more important. Being general upfront and asking questions that can be answered either personally or professionally are great for opening up the possibility of getting to know the person. The Champagne Question is a great first step to helping a client craft a future that’s better for them. People need positivity and optimism in their life and  you can add that to their life by asking them the right questions and exploring the answers.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com davidburkus.com

Mo asks David Burkus: How can we keep focused on doing the right things when we are constantly distracted in this virtual world? The short answer is to not focus on it. Studies have shown that when timelines are too far away we tend to think that it’s going to be too difficult to accomplish. This applies to health and investing, as well as career goals. The key is to make the long game into your short-term goal. You will always default to the short term. Think about your long-term project and identify the milestones that will lead up to it, then focus in on those. This is especially important in a remote environment where no one is actively looking over your shoulder to make sure you’re getting things done. Milestones have to be co-created with the client. Your team also needs a regular check in process where you cover three key things for each person involved: “What did we just accomplish?”, “What are we focused on now?”, and “What is blocking our progress?” The real challenge in a client engagement is when nobody wants to admit they need help. If you take the time to record those regular check-ins and address the obstacles to progress, you can avoid that situation. Without a regular cadence of communication, you can end up with a client that is really angry with you and you may not know the reason why.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com davidburkus.com

Mo asks David Burkus: How do we develop and deepen relationships when everything is virtual? A study showed that the average person’s network shrunk by 25% to 30% over the first half of 2020. That decrease was almost entirely driven by males because of the general tendency for men to bond over activities. We tried to recreate these activities virtually but it doesn’t work the same way. When you’re looking to use a tool like Zoom to deepen a relationship, it requires more structure. You have to show up with questions and a level of conversation designed to deepen the relationship. Work sprints are another option, which are scheduled times where you complete your work in a meeting environment to emulate the coworking space. In addition to these activities, you can also introduce rituals into your team communication to deepen the connection. Between structured conversations that explore non-work topics and physical things like rituals, we can go pretty far in deepening relationships in a remote working environment. The questions don’t matter as much as having a plan and being intentional. Asking questions that are open-ended and answered in a work or non-work context is a good start. One of David’s favorite questions is “Who is your favorite superhero?” No matter what the answer is, you will learn something interesting about the other person. The more you know about someone, the more reason you have to follow up with them and find you have something in common.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com davidburkus.com

Mo asks David Burkus: How can we create demand and get deals done virtually? The traditional method of closing a deal usually involved meeting clients in person but it wasn’t the activity itself that determined the failure or success of the deal. It was the whitespace around the meeting that built the bonds that led to trust. Most people don’t build that into their virtual meetings, which is something that we really need to do. You build trust and bonds in the unstructured, open space around the meeting time and you need to build that into remote environments. What are the white space moments that built relationships in person and how can you recreate those experiences in your remote working environment? To allow people to get to know each other, give them space to ask questions and get answers. Structure some questions to allow people to learn about each other and in a way where everyone has the opportunity to share a problem they are facing. One of the best questions you can ask is “If you and I are meeting again a year from now over a bottle of Champagne, what are we celebrating?”     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com davidburkus.com

Mo asks David Burkus: How do you develop relationships with your clients virtually? The future of work is working from anywhere. The truth is that we are not going back to the office. Even before the pandemic, studies were showing that people are more engaged when they are out of the office 40% to 60% of the time. We need greater flexibility, trust, and autonomy with the people that we collaborate with in a remote environment. Communication is actually more important now that it was before. We can’t take as many non-verbal cues as we could when we were working together, so we need to be more deliberate and empathetic in our communication. One of the first things we need to be doing with prospective clients is talking about how we are going to be working together. This is now part of the process of closing the deal. One major tip is that eye contact is not eye contact when you’re communicating online. You have to look into the camera lens to recreate the experience and connection of eye contact. The other thing to realize is that communication is more asynchronous than ever before. Make sure you have clear writing and thinking in your written communication. You also have to be clear about what each method of communication is meant for. To enroll clients, the easiest way is to have an established communications system within your team already. Create a team-working agreement and then use that to create the framework of client communication. Schedule a meeting to create your team-working agreement, and get answers to all of the questions written down into a shared document. Then get every team member to agree.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com davidburkus.com

Mike Michalowicz delivers a powerful message that entrepreneurs and business development professionals need to hear. Learn some incredible hacks you can use right now to deepen your business relationships, identify exactly what you should be working on to make the greatest impact, and learn how to multiply your best clients and grow your book of business exponentially.   Mo asks Mike Michalowicz: Why do you have to start with sales? Sales create cash for a business. We usually start a business to create financial freedom, and to get there we need sales, but sales are not sufficient in themselves. They are the foundation to the Business Hierarchy of Needs. If you realize and feel that your offering is superior to your competitor’s, then you have an obligation to sell it. If your prospect goes with the competitor, they are getting an inferior offering. Making your clients aware of your offer and putting it in front of them is the best way to serve them. Not selling your offering is doing them a disservice. Just like people, businesses have a hierarchy of needs as well. Foundationally, we need sales because it creates cash. Once we’ve got sales we need to extract that cash to bring about stability, also known as profit. Once you have that addressed, you need to create efficiency and order. The level above that is impact, and it’s where your business goes from being about transactions to becoming about transformation. The final level is legacy, which is where the work you are doing is so important that it must continue for generations. The hierarchy functions like a pyramid, where if you want to grow, you need to expand the sales base.   Mo asks Mike Michalowicz: What’s the number one thing people can do to get more yeses? The most powerful concept is client cloning. We need to focus on our best clients and identify what we know about them. Then you develop an avatar around those attributes and go to where those people congregate. As the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together. We have to concentrate our efforts on the areas and mediums where our best clients are so we can get in front of them. Once you begin cloning your best clients, it also brings a new level of efficiency to your business. You work with similar clients in similar situations, and the resolution becomes consistently the same, which elevates your ability to scale. People are looking to know, like, and trust you, and selling right off the bat is not the best approach. Educational marketing is the most effective method to build the rapport you need to land clients and once they are ready to make a decision on someone to do it for them they will pick you. When you have people that are intrigued and interested in what you do, have a clear, concise and reasonable next step for them to do.   Mo asks Mike Michalowicz: How can we use your framework to deepen our most important business relationships? The easiest way to connect with your client is to learn the language that they use. Ask your best clients what you are doing right, and they will tell you what they judge you on. The thing you do right is actually the thing you need to improve most to create an extraordinary relationship. Deepen your relationships by doing the right thing better. Your clients will tell you exactly what they need if you ask them. You can ask what you’re doing wrong, but you’re not going to get the truth if there’s a potential confrontation. Instead, ask what’s wrong with your industry. You’ll be surprised by what you hear. Ask your clients about what other vendors they depend on too, and then go and deepen those relationships. Tap into the vendor wealth that surrounds your clients.   Mo asks Mike Michalowicz: How do we hack our habits so we keep evolving and getting better? The first thing you do in the day is the most impactful. Sadly, most people open their email first which then dictates their behavior. You need to time block the first part of your morning to focus on your most important work. Don’t do anything like email which can divert you from the path. Any time you want to fix or improve a single thing, you need to focus on it exclusively each day until that one project is done. Use the momentum effect to your advantage. It’s actually the discipline of not doing that will actually result in more effective action. Even a 15-minute block of time at the very beginning of your day will yield positive results and make it easier to get the momentum going. If you want to strengthen a chain, focus on the weakest link. If you fix that, the strength of the whole chain gets elevated and you can focus on the next weak link. We can be so much more efficient if we just focus on one thing at a time.   Mo shares his insights from the habits of Mike Michalowicz. There is the evolution of a business that can be broken down. You don’t want to focus on the higher level elements until addressing the foundations. This is where the Business Hierarchy of Needs comes in. The foundation of any business that’s service based is sales. You have to get good at business development, if you don’t you will stagnate and fall back. Once you start getting money in the door, you can start thinking about profit and efficiency. Then the next step is making the biggest impact on the people you serve that you can. You can then focus on the legacy of the business so that you can leave the world in a better state than you found it in. Business development is the foundation, but it’s also intertwined with each level and constantly revisited. The three questions for clients is a great framework for identifying how you can deepen your relationship with them. “What am I doing right?”, “What’s wrong with our industry?”, and “What other vendors/partners do you depend on?”. By systematizing those three questions you have an excellent process for identifying where to focus on next. Focus on one project at a time, even if you have multiple projects you’re working on over a given time period. It can play off your grand overarching strategy in the long term, but you have to pull those big things down to one specific task and focus on that to completion.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com fixthisnext.com

Mo shares his insights from the habits of Mike Michalowicz. There is the evolution of a business that can be broken down. You don’t want to focus on the higher level elements until addressing the foundations. This is where the Business Hierarchy of Needs comes in. The foundation of any business that’s service based is sales. You have to get good at business development, if you don’t you will stagnate and fall back. Once you start getting money in the door, you can start thinking about profit and efficiency. Then the next step is making the biggest impact on the people you serve that you can. You can then focus on the legacy of the business so that you can leave the world in a better state than you found it in. Business development is the foundation, but it’s also intertwined with each level and constantly revisited. The three questions for clients is a great framework for identifying how you can deepen your relationship with them. “What am I doing right?”, “What’s wrong with our industry?”, and “What other vendors/partners do you depend on?”. By systematizing those three questions you have an excellent process for identifying where to focus on next. Focus on one project at a time, even if you have multiple projects you’re working on over a given time period. It can play off your grand overarching strategy in the long term, but you have to pull those big things down to one specific task and focus on that to completion.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com fixthisnext.com

Mo asks Mike Michalowicz: How do we hack our habits so we keep evolving and getting better? The first thing you do in the day is the most impactful. Sadly, most people open their email first which then dictates their behavior. You need to time block the first part of your morning to focus on your most important work. Don’t do anything like email which can divert you from the path. Any time you want to fix or improve a single thing, you need to focus on it exclusively each day until that one project is done. Use the momentum effect to your advantage. It’s actually the discipline of not doing that will actually result in more effective action. Even a 15-minute block of time at the very beginning of your day will yield positive results and make it easier to get the momentum going. If you want to strengthen a chain, focus on the weakest link. If you fix that, the strength of the whole chain gets elevated and you can focus on the next weak link. We can be so much more efficient if we just focus on one thing at a time.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com fixthisnext.com

Mo asks Mike Michalowicz: How can we use your framework to deepen our most important business relationships? The easiest way to connect with your client is to learn the language that they use. Ask your best clients what you are doing right, and they will tell you what they judge you on. The thing you do right is actually the thing you need to improve most to create an extraordinary relationship. Deepen your relationships by doing the right thing better. Your clients will tell you exactly what they need if you ask them. You can ask what you’re doing wrong, but you’re not going to get the truth if there’s a potential confrontation. Instead, ask what’s wrong with your industry. You’ll be surprised by what you hear. Ask your clients about what other vendors they depend on too, and then go and deepen those relationships. Tap into the vendor wealth that surrounds your clients.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com fixthisnext.com