Hey HB's! This week we're all getting treated with an interview with Tessa Dare! We chat about her new release The Governess Game, as well as her upcoming anthology How the Dukes Stole Christmas, her as a writer, reader, and political being.  There's more about duck sex, themes in The Governess Game like healing and grief, education, early childhood development, learning through play, inspiration from her own life, amazing women she's come across in her research, her auto-buy authors as a reader, her trope catnip, and so much more.    Authors and works mentioned:  - A Spark of Light by Jodi Picoult (out Oct. 2, 2018) - Cat Sebastian   Self-Love Recommendations:  Melody - Try to practice constructive communication when you're in a conflict with a loved one and don't be afraid to advocate for yourself for that from other people. We get so caught up in wanting to be right and heard that we can lose sight of the feelings of others really quickly. So, if you need to process extra crap with someone, ask yourself, does it really need to be the person I'm in conflict with, or can my extraneous feelings be processed elsewhere?  Tessa - Learn a new skill....like making cocktails! She hosted a party at her house recently and had to take over the bar when the bartender was late. She had so much fun learning new cocktails for the guest's orders and gaining a new party trick.    Check out Tessa's interview with The Wicked Wallflowers Club as well. And special thanks to Jenny for her guidance about long-distance recording with a guest!   https://wickedwallflowersclub.com/ Instagram: @wckdwallflowers Twitter: @wckdwallflowers  Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! This week we read After We Fall by Melanie Harlow. It's a contemporary novel with a soul-searching, rich girl heroine and an emotionally isolated widower who's still navigating symptoms of PTSD. There's a farm. There are attempts at chores. There are accidental meetings. There are dubious outdoor decisions outdoors. There's some peeping. There's some excellent dirty talk. And TREE SEX. Oh yes.  Bonus Content: Erin is SO SICK! Rooster's probable Telegram Company. Melody's Bubble Bath. The Alaskan State Fair. Our thoughts on dudes with pastel whale shorts, boat shoes, and a disgusting sense of entitlement. A discussion of how to be a friend. And how Melody might employ gymnastics to coat your car in all sorts of nonsense if you don't offer her the bathroom.  Self-Love Recommendations:  Erin: Consider taking the leash off. Erin was too scared to let Rooster off the leash for years and this weekend she proved herself to be an ecstatic off-road adventure dog! Your loved ones could surprise you. Melody: Make sure you're registered to vote! We've got some important upcoming elections whether local, state, and national elections. Your voice matters!  Patreon Shout Out:  Hannah M., you are a pixie of mischief, wonder, and good humor. Always up to try something new, spending time with you is always a novel experience. Most pixies care little for the garb that adorns their bodies, but your love of costumes and the theatrical make you an even better traveling partner and random acquaintance. The gusto you put into each new task, whether it's making mischief with those you love, making merry, or snuggling with a furry friend makes you a delight to be near. And although those wings are shiny and your mind quick, those around you should take care to think of you as well. Your deep bag of magic can be used for good as well as ill, cutting sarcasm, and all kinds of right good set downs. This episode is sponsored by Bubbles and Books! The code BOSOM20 will get 20% off your first month! website: bubblesandbooks.com facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night": https://www.facebook.com/groups/bubblesandbooks/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bubbles_books_box/ pintrest: https://pinterest.com/bubblesandbooks/ twitter: https://twitter.com/soakedromanceMentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

This week we've got an especially tasty little morsel: The Red by Tiffany Reisz! It's an erotic fantasy novel about a fiery gallery owner who's in debt and on the brink of losing everything and the mysterious man who wants to help her save it... for a price. He's not interested in her soul, though, he's interested in her BODY. Yum!  Bonus Content: Ember's newest skill, Erin's trip to IL, wedding dress shopping, a discussion on using the term "whore" in the most empowering and delicious way, reclaiming the word cunt, and the segments *Bing Boong Bong* "safe sex work with Melody," "do your fucking job with Melody," "sex with mythical creatures with Erin," Melody's favorite alternate universe, and Erin's feelings on masquerade masks. Plus, MINOTAUR DONG. And does our podcast have a low-key new theme? Strap in and maybe strap on. You're gonna need all your resources for this one.  Lady Loves:  Melody: Email or tween an author to tell them how much you love their work. Sometimes making other people feel great and know their worth is such a lovely pick-me-up.  Erin: To All the Boys I've Loved Before and Love Simon. Sunshine, rainbows, and feel good films! Get them in your brain!  Indy Podcast Promo:  The Secret Life of Weddings Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, etc. or at http://secretlifeofweddings.com   Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/secretlifeofweddings/ Twitter | https://twitter.com/secretlifeofwed Facebook Page | https://www.facebook.com/thesecretlifeofweddings Tumblr | https://secretlifeofweddings.tumblr.com YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQJ6EVYHYsmIvs_bnHqKXSg Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! Happy Monday to you! Were you missing our personal brand of hate in your life? NEVER FEAR! We're here to deliver in this monster episode covering Split by JB Salsbury. It's about a girl who comes back to her small AZ town in disgrace after assaulting a colleague and the man she meets with Dissociative Identity Disorder and a mysterious, violent past. Will there be disclaimers? Yes. Will there be laughing through rage? Yes. But what more can we do when one of the heroes LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL THE HEROINE?! Bonus Content:  Erin's most embarrassing professional moment ever, *bing boong bongs* Do Your Fucking Job and Super Creepy People with Erin, the racism Erin saw while living in AZ, Melody pulls back the curtain on whether she's ever thought to herself, "your dad died? I want to see your penis immediately," Navajo Tacos: they're basically Gorditas, right? Wethinks not. And you get to learn all about Harmony and Butch.  Lady Loves:  Erin: The Type, a spoken word poem by Sarah Kay. You can find it on youtube and go down the delicious rabbit hole that is Sarah Kay's brilliance.  Melody: ...... Patreon Shout Out: Lauren C., you are a Griffin of great power and emotional understanding. Combining the body of the queen of all earthly creatures and the queen of all aerial creatures, you possess unparalleled courage of heart and vast intelligence. Bold and compassionate, those wings of yours will take you to heights surpassing even your wildest dreams. Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Here we go with Part 2 of How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper! Will they figure out who's attacking locals? Will there be super sperm? Will we have more opportunities for *bing boong bong* Wildlife Safety with Erin? All that, plus realistic truck sex!  Bonus Content: Melody's volunteer tomato, how condoms only work if they're used 100% of the time, and much more!  Self-Love Recommendations:  Erin: Smartypants vitamins. The serving size is SIX gummy vitamins!  Melody: Have what you crave around, otherwise, when you're craving dark chocolate you may end up eating a meal-replacement bar. Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

This week we're bringing you part 1 of How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper, one of Erin's favorite books! We've got a Mississippi transplant in Alaska and a hero who's begrudgingly attracted to the outsider. She's fleeing her overbearing hippy parents, he's got a furry secret. There's intrigue, there's murder, there's baking, there's a whole kaleidoscope of fabulous side characters. There's deep, fiery passion. There's *bing boong bong* What Sex Position Is This? with Melody.  Bonus Content:  Pulling necks, #bringbackdueling SUCCESS, the jungle that is Alaskan Match.com, our proposed alternate title "Slap, Slap, Kiss", Life Saving Measures with Erin, Obstructing Justice with Erin, Melody's sickness REVEALED, and all the bear encounters Leigh-Ayn could ever wish for.  Patreon Shout Out:  Leslie B., you are a unicorn of care, companionship, and silliness. Throughout the ages, unicorns have gotten pigeon-holed as the creatures of sweetness and light. While you've gotten those characteristics in spades, you also prove the species has so much more to offer. Your sass, longing for new challenges, and commitment to the safety of your herd is unmatched. I mean, you basically have a bayonet on your head and you know how to use it. Plus, that flowing mane of waves is something that even us land mermaids need to tip our hats to.Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey y'all! This week we have Teagan Hunter's Millenial delight, Let's Get Textual. It's got a wrong number meet-cute, two sarcastic, adorable characters, a baby goat, Harry Potter boxers, wholesome yet sexy strip teases, a whodunit, BAD Titanic jokes, questionable Dorito placement, and some low-key social justice issues.  Bonus conent: PIG ROOOAAASSTTTT, Melody's bottle baby goats and her knowledge of goats as snuggle partners, some Erin snark on bonding over universal experiences, our shared HATRED of ranch dressing, and so much more.  Also, introducing some new segments: *bing, boong, bong* How to (In)Correctly Identify Basic Character Traits with Erin, and Gold Star Parenting with Melody.  Patreon Shout-Outs:  Tiffany A., you are a phoenix. Your powers of rejuvenation make sure you're never down for long. Whether it's a momentary lapse, or a huge loss, you always have it in you to bounce back. Even at your most decrepit and downtrodden, you need look no further than your own inner beauty and ability to set you right. Elizabeth S., you are a water sprite. Your dazzling personality and playful nature make you a delight to be around, and friendship with you is as flowing and deep as the waters you inhabit. When rough currents hit, you know how to strike a healthy balance of go-with-the-flow and swim-for-your-life. And everyone better take note: when you're pushed, your bite is just as strong as your bark. Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey All! We are so appreciate that you've been so understanding about our hiccup in programming, but a plastic shard getting lodged in your cornea doesn't happen every day. Poor Erin!  Luckily, Nickie from The Things She Does offered to allow us to publish her interview with Melody so you didn't have a huge lapse in your feed!  We talk romance novels, the value they bring to the world, feminism, sex education and pleasure education, being a mom, "balance" or lack thereof, and so much more.  Enjoy! Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! We're back with Part 2 of Helen Hoang's debut novel, The Kiss Quotient! Stella and Michael are embarking on a classic EnglandTimes fake relationship and find that they're dynamic just might be perfect. That is, of course, if Michael's past, Stella's coworker, both of their understandable insecurities, misunderstandings, and a wealthy woman with nothing to lose don't screw it up forever!  Bonus Content: Face nipples, GOAT the spanish-speaking dog, more Gelato Teenager antics, Erin's views on sex in the workplace, The Handmaid's Tale, a doozy of a film called Killing Me Softly, and much more!  Self-Love Recommendations:  Erin - Follow @timburkephoto and @hanna.c.johansson and their burgeoning romance as the motorcycle through Norway together. So cute!  Melody - Have a sob in public if you need to. Give yourself that catharsis.    If you ever have problems getting the episodes through your preferred app, feel free to visit our RSS feed http://heavingbosoms.libsyn.com/ and listen to our episodes directly from there! Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Get ready for some squee HBs, we're here gushing over the first half of The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang! Scientist/mathematician + male escort/fashion designer?! Neuroatypical heroine?! Hapa hero?! We are very here for this. Plus all the heart-felt romance and red hot sexy times you can handle. And consent! So, so much consent on the page. Melody was in hog heaven.  We have limited experience with autism particularly and the neurodiverse community in general, so if you feel inspired to correct us on something we said, please don't hesitate to email [email protected]! Bonus Content: Pig roasts, gelato teenagers, how Melody eats candy, how Erin can't sing, the best Army pun EVER, pheromones, Mr. Spenglish, and so much more.  Patren Shout Out:  Jackie G., you are a fairy of fortitude and friendship. You will use anything at your disposal, all the tricks up your sleeve, to help the ones you love, and your mischievous imagination makes you a hoot to be around. Thank you to all of our patrons! If you want to join the ranks head to https://www.patreon.com/heavingbosomspodcast Thank you to everyone who's subscribed, rated, and reviewed! It helps us so much!  Follow us on social media!  Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms Facebook: Heaving Bosoms Podcast Closed Facebook Group: The Heaving Bosoms Podcast Geriatric Friendship Cult www.heavingbosomspodcast.comMentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! We're back for The Virgin Romance Novelist by Meghan Quinn! It’s a friends-to-lovers romantic comedy with some slapstick antics that had us in stitches! Rosie is an aspiring romance novelist who hasn't gone "all they way" ... or anywhere, really. Henry is her best friend of 5 years who's just biding his time until she notices him. When Rosie decides to put herself out there and have sex to gain the experience she needs for the novel (at Henry's urging), hilarity ensues. Yes, like all rom-coms in the 90's and 2000's, it's also a little problematic. So. Full disclosure, Melody may have gotten on a soap box or two. Bonus Content: Learn about Erin's illicit bread, the end of #cockygate, why the virgin trope in contemporaries rarely works for Melody, a discussion of all the Chris's and which is best, adventures in DivaCups, we find a line Mel won't cross (even for Erin), Erin sheds light on her thoughts on bowling hygiene and the scene in Anchorage, TEQUILA and why it doesn't work, we all get a lesson in eating tacos, a discussion on whether oral sex is "relaxing," and HOW TO BE MELODY'S FRIEND (surprise, surprise, it involves TMI).    Featured Segments: Law and Order with Erin, TMI with Melody (throughout), and a brand new segment, Melody Briefly Morphs Into Erin!  Patreon Shout-Out: Natalie M-M, you are a beatific wood nymph. You can inspire with your joyous energy alone and your abilities in the outdoors make you an excellent partner for anyone's adventures. Who doesn't love a lady with survival skills? Self-Love Recommendations:  Erin - SUNSCREEN. Don't think your makeup is all the sunscreen you need.  Melody - Hide veggies from yourself if you have to. They need to get into your body, so if you need to blend them in a shake, cook them in your eggs, or make a puree, DO IT. Veg are everything! Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey listener! Did you put on your big kid underwear? WELL, GET READY TO TAKE IT OFF. Ok, it's already getting weird. Gotta set the tone....  This week we read Mastered by Her Mates by Grace Goodwin and it was an amazing, wild ride. Aliens have landed and sworn their protection from THE HIVE but, in return, they need soldiers for the front lines and they want brides for their soldiers. Enter Amanda Bryant, a seasoned spy who becomes the first in Earth's Interstellar Bride Program and needs to confirm the threat from The Hive is real and send back any and all intel and technology back to her superiors, all while not getting distracted by her two new, hot mates. That's right: TWO MATES! Will she be able to keep her heart from two warriors who want to share their love and devotion with her? Is appeasing her government really the best course of action? Can we do all of this with magical, orgasm-inducing semen as a factor? Are you ready for the Anal Training Box? Can we get a little more double-penetration up in here? Can I please have my own poop robot?  I DON'T KNOW WHAT QUESTION TO PRIORITIZE.  Bonus Content:  Erin remembers and becomes obsessed with the 1988 classic "Earth Girls are Easy" with Geena Davis, Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey, and Damon Wayans. It's a recurring theme. Erin recalls the time that eHarmony told her she had literally ZERO matches. No one at all in all the internet. We talk a lot about the merits of a good spy, what's appropriate for a medical examination after you've been reduced to pure energy, beamed across the universe, and then reassembled. We wonder how quiet a poop robot can really be, and generally squee over this book and all it's glory. We also have a hard time choosing a sign off, so you get them all! See our process in action!  Random Erin Rec: The Demonica Series by Larissa Ione. If you like an incubus, check it out!  Self-Love Recommendations:  Erin: Queer Eye Season 2 on Netflix. Watch it and cry with joy and goodness.  Melody: Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Watch it and remember how funny and capable and fabulous you are.    Housekeeping: Patreon fam, please send us your mailing addresses! We wants to send you goodies!  If you haven't yet, please head over to Apple Podcasts and rate and review us! If you give us a 5 star review we will cover whatever book you recommend!  Also follow us on all the things! Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms Facebook: Heaving Bosoms Podcast (page) and The Heaving Bosoms Podcast Geriatric Friendship Cult (group) Email: [email protected] Website: www.heavingbosomspodcast.com    Whew! Enjoy! Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey Commuters! Get ready for this super-sized episode! We read After the Wedding by Courtney Milan! He's a biracial, unrecognized nephew of an Earl. She's a Lady with a tragic past and a refusal to give up hope for lasting happiness. They're inexplicably set up and married at gunpoint by two members of the clergy! Can they find out how much they're worth while unraveling the mystery and proving the legitimacy of their annulment claim? Will they put everything to the test and choose each other forever? IT'S GODDAMNED GORGEOUS.  Bonus Content: How much does Erin love the sound of her own voice? Melody's strenuous preschool arts and crafts project. Adventures in childhood hair cuttery. Pride corner with Erin and Melody. Erin's new confusion over #15 from Team USA. Erin's longstanding obsession with the plural of octopus, and the revolution it saw in the English Language. And.. is this finally the thing she can bond with Courtney Milan over IRL? ONLY TIME WILL TELL.   PATREON SHOUT OUTS! Liz S. - You are a benevolent Fury who uses her considerable power and prowess for only the best intentions and outcomes. And Erin says you're a Harpy in the best sense of the word :) Jacqueline W. - You are a phenomenal Siren who has used her voice to bring so many unsuspecting sailors to Heaving Bosoms Island. The beauty of your voice is matched only by the beauty of your mind and spirit. Kellie P. - You are a loving Pegasus who holds so much on her shoulders with such grace ans surety. Plus, you're so much fucking fun.   Self-Love Recommendations:  Melody - commit to yourself again if you need to. I haven't been doing nearly enough of the self care routine that keeps me content, so let's do it together. Get your facemask on, get back to the gym, drink your coffee in the sun, whatever you've been slacking on that's good for YOU, get to it.  Erin - "The sun is warm and the grass is green." When you're feeling overwhelmed, just repeat that to yourself to become grounded again. If it's good enough for both Mr. Miyagi and Courtney Milan, it's good enough for us. Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey Esteemed Listener!!! We have a very special episode this week: an interview with author Sarah MacLean! Sarah is a best selling romance author, romance columnist, two time RITA Award winner, advocate, and hugely celebrated lady we have big crushes on. In this episode Melody got to sit down with Sarah to discuss her new book Wicked and the Wallflower, book 1 of her new Bareknuckle Bastard series, which comes out on June 19, 2018 (TOMORROW!!!!). She talks all about her inspiration for the Bareknuckle Bastard series, the parts of Englandtimes she's uncovering by stepping out of the traditional ballroom setting, and the themes of Wicked and the Wallflower. We talk her research and writing process and learn all about Ada Lovelace, who is a Regency Era woman who is widely known for being the world's first computer programmer and a mathematician, but is also LORD BYRON'S DAUGHTER. Whhhaaaaattttt? And of course we chatted about feminism in romance, how that impacts historical accuracy (spoiler: not much), and Sarah's tribe within the writing community. As an added bonus, while discussing her reading catnip, Sarah recommends novels we should read, as she is wont to do: Priest by Sierra Simone The Unrequited by Saffron Kent Unlocked by Courtney Milan (Novella) Never Sweeter by Charlotte Stein The Player by Kresley Cole   Don't worry, y'all, her love of Tom Hardy comes up, too!   Self-Love Recommendations: Sarah: Fresh Cosmetics in general, but they do an eye cream that makes her super happy. Melody: Try to overcome imposter syndrome whenever you can. If you can, you could find yourself sitting across a table from SARAH MACLEAN. **Squeeeeee!**   Be sure to get Wicked and the Wallflower for a delicious Englandtimes read that steps outside of the normal ballroom setting and into the streets of London. It's a tale of outsiders, has a bad-ass lady lockpick heroine, a scarred, deep hero named DEVIL, and all the plotting you could wish for. Plus, all the tingles in your bathing suit parts.   Check out her website and social media! Her website has an INCREDIBLE list of over 180 romance novels she recommends. www.sarahmaclean.net Twitter: @sarahmaclean Instagram: @sarahmaclean Facebook: facebook.com/SarahMacLean   Follow us on all the things as well! www.heavingbosomspodcast.com Twitter: @Heaving_Bosoms Instagram: @heavingbosoms Facebook: facebook.com/heavingbosomspodcast Facebook GROUP: The Heaving Bosoms Podcast Geriatric Friendship Cult   Thank you for being AMAZING and creating such a fun community. We love you dearly.  Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hold onto your butts while we finish up The Unleashing by Shelly Laurenston! There's talon sex, there are fights, there are dream demons, there's an avenging crow dog with a metal muzzle, there's A LITERAL TRIP TO VALHALLA, and all the juicy, sweet, straightforward romance a person could ask for. Have you ever thought to yourself "a doggy door could be the catalyst to my proclamation of love"? Neither had Vig or Kera, but it's the sweetest thing ever.  Bonus Content:  COCKYGATE, the (s)heroics of Penny Reid, Army Combat Water Survival AKA Never Volunteer for Anything In Army, beehive coups, and much more!  Self Love Recommendations:  Erin: Get yourself some plants. Or some MORE plants! Erin hit the motherload at a garage sale the other day and filled her house with a bunch of 40 year old plants who have known nothing but love. Bliss.  Melody: Seek out something you loved in your childhood and re-experience it. She watched the Phantom of the Opera movie because it was randomly added to Netflix and she remembered an old love.Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! We're back this week with Part 1 of The Unleashing by Shelly Laurenston. It's a paranormal romance complete with modern-day vikings and the gods who command them, a persnickety former marine back from death, and a big hunk of disheveled man who's been low-key wooing her for 18 months.... so low-key she doesn't notice. PLUS, there's something ancient that's waiting to be unleashed! WHAT IS IT. Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! Here's part two of The Autumn Bride by Anne Gracie. In addition to the culmination of Abby and Max's tale, we've got another round of the "Big Stab vs. Big Slash" debate (in which Melody also comes out the WINNER), some earth-shattering Pride and Prejudice confessions, and more thoughts on EnglandTimes Wokeness (#englandtimeswoke). Come get companionably drunk with us, in a figurative sense, and shout from the rooftops our new favorite life motto: "spare me the thought processes of men!" Lady Bea, you're an international treasure and the definition of #goals. Self-Love Recommendations: Erin - hide your gummy vitamins from yourself lest you end up with sores due to vitamin A poisoning. Or, you know, maybe invest in some fucking food on a semi-regular basis. Melody: Get thee outside! A morning exploring the park, weeding the yard, and eating breakfast outside is such an amazing start to the day! Now, HB's, in the words of our dear Daisy, "go on and let the nice man compromise you. You know you want to."   Also featured: a podcast you might love, The Feminine Mistake Podcast! Three comedy writers sit down with a guest to look at the current state of women in the industry and how female characters are portrayed in film and television. This month they're chatting about I Feel Pretty! http://feminine-mistake-pod.blubrry.net/ Instagram: @FemMistakePod Twitter: @FemMistakePodMentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! We're here for Part 1 of The Autumn Bride by Anne Gracie. It's a beautiful tale full of sisterhood and lady love, in addition to all the fabulous romance. Abby Chantry and her adopted sisters are down on their luck when they happen upon a Lady in just as much need, then her nephew arrives unexpectedly and SPARKS FLY. Delicious.  Bonus Content: Over reacting to regular thing and owning it, the power of Chewy Bars and DoubleTree Cookies, the merits of locking up food, Erin's terrible memory, literally ALL the instruments Erin played in High School and the boys who inspired each, *bing boong bong* Combat Medicine with Erin, and SO MUCH MORE.  Self-Love Recommendations:  Erin: Are you in a hair color crisis? Maybe take her lead and spend some time with your roots. On your whole head.  Melody: Having tummy trouble? Lipton makes "Soothe Your Tummy" tea that was made for you! Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's this week we read Take the Lead by Alexis Daria! It's a reluctant romance set on a celebrity dance show. Gina Morales is the pro dancer in charge of making hulking Alaskan bushman Stone Nielson into a light-footed showboat. She's pressured to give the people a "showmance" and he just wants to get back to chopping wood while shirtless, ok?! Will their love prevail?  Bonus Content: Goat was sick!, booty popping Zumba class, Jane the Virgin, that time Melody cut a goodbye short because she decided to double-fist chicken drumsticks, we think massage is a great prelude to sex, everyone we cast our minds, and so much more!  Self-Love Recommendations:  Erin: Jane the Virgin and sugar lip scrubs Melody: Take a hip-hop Zumba class and feel like Beyonce herself! Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! Sorry for the slight delay! This is Part 2 of Sally Thorne's The Hating Game! We're jumping back into Lucy's sickbed and you get to hear all about how much Melody hates the other guy who's into Lucy and all the reasons WHYYYY. Spoiler Alert: we hate "nice" guys. But, our former enemies are about to get even cozier, so we're happy little clams. Bonus Content: more Slytherin and Hufflepuff magic, fever stories, a little game you can play in the ER called "find the blood," Melody's evolving life mottos, and so much more! Self-Love Recommendations: Melody: Invest in your body somehow this week. You only get the one and all our systems, body-mind-soul are connected. So love your body as much as you love yourself. AKA "MELODY SCHEDULE THE DENTIST ALREADY." Erin: P!NK! Get on it. She's so empowering and talented and amazing. Google her Grammy and AMA performances from years past and feel ferocious through her. Also featured: a podcast you might love, The Feminine Mistake Podcast! Three comedy writers sit down with a guest to look at the current state of women in the industry and how female characters are portrayed in film and television. This month they're chatting about I Feel Pretty! http://feminine-mistake-pod.blubrry.net/ Instagram: @FemMistakePod Twitter: @FemMistakePod Mentioned in this episode: Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HBs! And Flamethrowers! Five of you spoke and we listened, so here's Part 1 of The Hating Game by Sally Thorne! We wanted to do this in one episode, but the squee was TOO STRONG! Join us for this quirky, fun, completely believable enemies-to-lovers story, which starts in the workplace (!!). It's got depth and such excellent writing that it made Melody come back 5 literal times. Bonus Content: A rousing discussion of Hogwarts Houses, Mel’s obsession with paintball as well as her legendary Duck Hunt prowess, vomiting in cabs, HYDRATION, and an unlikely segment, Fashion with Erin. Self Love Recommendations: Erin: Join the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult because there's a big ol' thread with tons of listener self-love recommendations! Melody: If you feel like you need a boost, the tips of your hair is a great place to put essential oils so the scents float around your face all day. Just make sure to stay away from drying/astringent oils like Tee Tree and Eucalyptus. Mentioned in this episode: Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

We're back to finish up A Knight In Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux, and this time we're in Medieval Times! Legit Medieval Times! We get to see our generous Dougless throw aside all her hygiene standards to CHANGE HISTORY.  Has Melody ever mentioned that she thought this was a M/M book when she first cracked the cover? This was a disappointment on a lot of levels.  Bonus Content: we get to learn all about magical Mary Poppins bags, cradle boards, why Mel likes getting kisses on the elbow, our new segment "this is not an ad for Duane The Rock Johnson," shark (not Transformer) phobias, and, most of all, swampy balls! Get 'em while they're fragrant!  Self-Love Recommendations:  - Erin: Yes To has a coconut oil push pop face mask! WE'RE LIVING IN THE FUTURE!  - Melody: Go see a monster movie if you're into that. She's seen Pacific Rim 2 and Rampage recently and both made her cry. Super fun! Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! This week we're FINALLY GETTING TO TANYA'S BOOK! Or rather, Part 1 of A Knight In Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux. It's a classic romance novel published in the 80's and it does not disappoint... if you're looking for rant-fodder from us! It involves a perpetually gaslit schoolteacher, a horrendous current beau, a hero from the 16th century who isn't much better, all the fat-shaming of children you've ever wished for, and time-travel via genital contact.  Plus, Rooster the Dog had a lot to say about this book as well. She couldn't BELIEVE we didn't like it.  Self-Love Recommendations:  Erin - Don't think the self-love can't just be bath bombs and a little me time. Not all of us can be that blonde woman in stock photos with her arms outstretched in the sunset. We all try our best to create "a life you don't have to escape from," but everyone needs to be a little selfless and do some dirty jobs for society to function. Trekking across the world or doing a job that "serves you" is all well and good, but it's not an achievement.   Also Erin - "Yes To" has a charcoal push-pop face mask that is SUBLIME. Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! Erin and Melody are embarking on the crazy journey that is Patreon very soon, so we thought we should give you a taste of what you can unlock by getting on the bandwagon. This episode, we learn all about dueling, answer the mystery of the HB Universe "what does it mean to make oneself ready?!" and Erin concocts some truly ruthless Fuck/Marry/Kill brackets.  Special thanks to Ann C, our resident dueling GURU!  Keep being your bad-ass selves! Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! It's time for Hate to Want You by Alisha Rai. Join Reverends Erin and Melody as they discuss family redemption, spanking, tattoos, and various kinds of musks! Prepare yourselves, because like this book, this episode gets a little *real* about depression and relationships, but we haven’t wept openly in like five episodes so . . . we were due ;) Self Love Recommendations: Erin - Sleep! It'll mess you up if you don't get any. Melody - Wild Geese by Mary Oliver. Read it, let it seep into your bones.  You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers. Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again. Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting - over and over announcing your place in the family of things.  Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

We're bringing you a monster-sized episode for our first sexy monster! **heart-eyed emoji**. Join us for Firelight by Kristen Callihan, a romance mystery set in Sherlock Holmes Times which may or may not have made us spontaneously combust a couple of times. Callihan is a master of "show, don't tell" and we were riveted for every moment. Plus, let's review: Sexy. Monster. Read this book, y'all! Special thanks to Shante for recommending it!  Bonus content: New dog Goat and other shenanigans. Also, if you can, donate to https://www.gofundme.com/giveherwings2018 a campaign by one of our former students to keep a safe house for victims of human trafficking and sex slavery open. Any amount, even the price of 1 book, will help!  Self-Love Recommendations:  Erin: For the People. Watch TV lawyers be terrible at their jobs and never get disbarred!  Melody: Don't fall asleep in the bath. She didn't die, but she definitely snort-splashed everywhere.   Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey y'all! We're back to finish up Beard Science by Penny Reid. This thing has everything: bakery lingerie hustle, counter top make-outs, hot fantasies, adorable flirting, lady love, MORE blackmail, strife, redemption, and a heaping pile of bottom-of-the-heart LOVE!  Bonus content: what movie would play Erin in a movie? Who was Melody REALLY in Grease? Flamingos versus Dragons, Law and Order with Erin, TMI with Melody, and all the rest of the nonsense you've come to expect from us.  Self-Love Recommendations:  - Wear a face mask while watching Jessica Jones, y'all. It's good for your skin and your soul. Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! We're back in Shark infested waters with Beard Science by Penny Reid. Cletus Winston in is the 3rd brother of 7 siblings in Green Valley, TN and he's the wiliest of the bunch. Meanwhile, Jennifer Sylvester is the Banana Cake Queen of Green Valley and Instagram infamy. Her Momma has BIG plans for her.  What started as a natural talent for baking has become a full-fledged exploitation situation. Can Cletus help her change her life and find out who she really is? A blackmail scheme just might entice him to help... and maybe just fall into the deep hue of impossible her purple eyes.  This is a listener recommendation from Sallie of The Woolslayers youtube podcast! She and her friend Allen get together and talk about all the GORGEOUS projects they're doing. These ladies are super talented.  Youtube Page: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQM7hy84kFYZ5VHnI8VZ97Q Instagram: @woolslayerspodcast Bonus content: Melody has new holes in her face! Erin saw a big ol' baby on a flight. Fun with misheard lyrics. Rooster the Dog is having a hard time. Lotion?! Who needs lotion?! Could Erin and Melody run a cult together? What plays in Erin's head every time she badmouths Fiona? All that and WAY MORE. Self Love Recommendations:  Erin: Check out the spotify playlist "Reading Jane Austen at Downton Abbey" for a EXCELLENT music to read by.  Melody: Have you wanted to do something and always held back? DO IT! Melody's piercings make her super happy.Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! Let's finish up Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean! When last we met, we left our fabulous heroine and her rake in a carriage on the way back to her house, breasts bouncing in the moonlight. She's determined to finish her list and LIVE, and he just might want to help her do just that for the rest of his eternity. There's fencing, there's dancing, there's dueling, and there's LOVE. Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

It's Part One of Erin and Melody's recap of Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean. Lady Calpernia Hartwell is done with being a well-behaved wallflower, so she seeks out the most handsome, devilish rake in London to help her start misbehaving AND WE COULDN'T STOP SWOONING. Thank you, Erin C, for the recommendation!  Bonus Content: The Gals decide which characters they are in Grace and Frankie and The Golden Girls, Erin talks about her herbal school classmates, Melody details her dream of starting an elderly lady commune with all her girlfriends, Erin gets a sneak peak of Melody's speech for Erin's wedding (if she's tapped!), the BBC's Fleabag and Hulu's Harlots get some dandy love, and you get the ladies thoughts on whether or not The Odyssey is a romantic story. Spoiler alert: NOPE! Self Love Recommendations:  - Watch Grace and Frankie on Hulu!  - Be a Kendall, not a Krystal. Yes, we watch the Bachelor, yes, we recorded this right after Kendall and Krystal's 2-on-1 date with the human saltine cracker that is Arie. Her compassion, wisdom, and empathy in the face of her hurt feelings WAS INSPIRING. What show were we watching again??Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

In this episode, we finish up The Duchess Deal by Tessa Dare. There's theater, rain, a jailbreak, redemption, and SEX. YES PLEASE.  Bonus Content: Does Melody know what animals are? Or sounds? What's in her head?  Self love recommendations:  Erin: "You have to give up being perfect to be good, and give up being good to be free." Let that wash over you.    Melody: When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema ChodronMentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! This marks the first in our multi-part episode coverage of novels with Tessa Dare's The Duchess Deal! We've got a strong, surviving seamstress, a Duke marred by burn wounds, and a marriage of convenience turned redemptive love. This is Melody's favorite heroine and Erin's favorite hero from the brain of Tessa Dare. There's also a colorful cast of side characters including a street cat named Breeches.  Bonus content: the Alaskan phenomenon that is the drive up bikini coffee bar, burping on cue in the name of motherhood, Erin's thoroughly-researched grasp on historical time periods, and our vast knowledge of fireplaces.  And seriously, what does "make ready" mean in England times??? Alright, darlings, WERECUNTS UNITE! Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hooo dangy, the movie is coming out, so we thought you might need a refresher on the final book in the Fifty Shades of Grey series, Fifty Shades Freed! If you read the title and thought, "oh goody, they break up?" you're in good company. Erin's fiance thought the same thing. Alas, no! Go with us on a 580 page journey where things finally happen in the last 20% of the book. Get ready for some verbing of nouns that don't verb (Mel thinks she's soooo charming), frank discussions about the mile high club, and nature making her presence KNOWN in Alaska.  Please note, we speak quite a bit about controlling tendencies, emotional abuse, etc.  Self Love Recommendations: Erin - if you want to relive middle school, Tamagotchi came out with a 25th anniversary pet! Also, dogs.  Melody - CLEANSE! She's currently on week two of a food based cleanse and she's feeling spry and her crazy sugar cravings are gone. If you feel like you need to reset after the holiday madness, a cleanse is a great way to do that. Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

This week we read a delicious late nineties treat, See Jane Score by Rachel Gibson. It's got an ambitious journalist, a bad boy hockey goalie, Doc Martens, crushed velvet dresses, scandalous writing under a nom de plume (!), and.... tattoo licking. Into. It. If you like alpha male romances and verbal sex scenes, this is the book for you.  Bonus content: Melody trying to hockey (or sportzball at all), the wild world of dolphins, and a look into our friendship you may not have been expecting.  BIG THANKS to Alison Wilkinson for sharing the review she wrote of our show for parent.com. We felt so honored and 'seen.' https://www.parent.com/listening-heaving-bosoms-podcast/ Self-Love Recommendation:  Melody: embrace your weird. Melody loves the macabre in general, specifically murder and cults, and she literally danced in a parking lot when she saw that Last Podcast on the Left's 300th episode arc was a deep dive into The People's Temple and Jonestown. Check it out if that's also on your venn diagram of love!  Erin: Yeah! Embrace what you love, even if it's terrible. A friend of hers saw Alison's review and divulged that she read all of the Shade of Vampire series. Own your excellence :) Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

This week we discuss listener recommendation, Love Hacked by Penny Reid! Get ready for Star Wars, bitcoins, dry humping, butter chicken, and a new segment, None of Erin’s Opinions Represent the Opinions of Any Agency Featured Prominently in This Book, Nor Are They Drawn From Any Professional Experiences. Also, bonus segment, Drunk Stories with Erin and Melody. Thanks again, Rashmi!   Self Love Recommendations:  Melody: Do as I say, not as I do and stay hydrated! Your body and mind will thank you.  Erin: Read Beauty and the Mustache by Penny Reid. SHE'S OBSESSED.Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

We're finally back to cover another listener recommendation: Dear Bridget, I Want You by Penelope Ward and Vi Keeland! This one features a sexy British doctor, a widowed nurse, and a lot of cheeky sexual “in-yer-end-os.” This episode features some extra special personal news, plenty of Logistics with Erin, the TRUTH about otters (*sobbing emoji*), and a brand new segment we’re calling, Is This Sex Position Physically Possible?  Self Love Recommendations:  Erin: Get thyself a bathbomb! Melody: Seek out a meditation app to take at least 10 minutes for yourself each day. Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

READER RECOMMENDATION, Y'ALL! Thank you Stephanie for taking the bribe and bringing Maddie and Logan into our lives!  In this episode we swoon over When a Scot Ties the Knot by Tessa Dare. It starts in England Times, but quickly travels to Highlander Times. I know, Erin had a hard time keeping up. Just get yourselves ready for a talented, career driven English gentlewoman, a loyal Scottish highlander with depths you can barely measure, a blackmail marriage scheme.... and lobsters.  Bonus content: Melody's Bagel War, Erin's muppet text messages, Melody's stance on orphans and sexytimes, and how lobsters actually make all the love. Self Love Recommendations:  - Google the National Geographic's article on lobster fornication that Erin's boyfriend found. So interesting! Educate yourself!  - Practice Gratitude and have a goddamned Dance Party. Melody is taking stock of all the wonderful things in her life in the face of some pretty terrible. And dance parties with her toddler help a hell of a lot. Also, if you can't hear it, Erin is the most immediate and adorable empathetic crier. Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

We've got a New Years selection for you to properly ring in 2018: Icecapade by Josh Lanyon! Are you in the mood for forbidden love between a jewel thief and the FBI Agent who has tailed him for a decade? Are you ready for that love story to involve llamas? WE ARE! This was a quick little novella, but it was jam-packed with stuff to talk about!  Self-Love Recommendations:  - Don't be afraid of a grown up friend sleepover. Erin spent a wonderful weekend with some lady friends in a cabin with board games and it was an experience that fortified the soul.  - Take some time to do for others. Melody went to an annual party her friend throws where, instead of birthday presents, he requests unwrapped toys to give to the salvation army. She gets a little misty talking about it and reminiscing about other volunteer experiences that have helped her in the process of helping others. Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Come on down for our final Christmas book: Christmastime Cowboy by Maisey Yates! If you like tattooed cowboys, grudges, wine, cheese, hair snarling, redemption, and reconnection, you'll love this book. Plus, you get tons of TMI with Melody and Logistics with Erin. And which Bible book has all the "begots"? The answer is we don't know. Self-Love Recommendations:  - Get thee the new Kesha album STAT! It's made Melody publicly sob and it's the start of her liberated artistic journey.  - Tazo has come out with a dessert line of teas and the lemon cake one will change your world.  - Buy your cowboy/firefighter holiday sex books publicly and with your head held high. HB's unite against romance novel judgement!  Special note: Thank you for understanding this episode's tardiness. Melody was super sick and still working full time this week. Going to bed at 7:30 every night was not a sound editing strategy. Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

This week we tackle Christmas on Crimson Mountain by Michelle Major. We were craving a sweet Hallmark-movie-style romance featuring a small town, ice skating, hot chocolate, a winter cabin, a kitten named Jingle, and a heaping dose of Christmas cheer. What we got was that PLUS a beastly widower, a breast cancer survivor, lots of unsolicited grabbery, some light child neglect, and not one but TWO orphans! Buckle up, buttercups.  Self love recommendations:  - Shower? This should be a regular life thing, but Melody's in a place. It can wash away whatever's lingering, whether emotional or physical, and smelling nice is always the best way to tackle the day. We gotta start somewhere.  - If you're injured, take some time for yourself. Don't go cross country skiing and ice skating trying to prove you're an "American Badass." You're not. Also, Melody proves once again that she's not a ice skate-ologist. Take your fancy terms and go to the Chiropractor, Erin! Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey All! This week we read the final book in Tiffany Reisz's Men at Work series, One Hot December! This one has a bad-ass welder heating things up with a man that’s part construction worker, part CEO (a creature we’ve never seen in the wild, but we are definitely into). We finally got a tiny bit of kink, and we play Fuck-Marry-Kill with the book's leading men and supporting ladies. Get. Stoked. This book also kicks off our holiday series of Christmas books!  Self Love Recommendations:  - Let your *parts* breathe, even in the winter. Melody is so committed to this, she's going to create some crotchless leggings for night time. TMI? Sorry not sorry. - If something has bothered you for a while, fix it, even if no one else cares. Erin decided to get a FACE TATTOO to do just that. She was already the absolute tits, and now there's no denying her bad-assery.  *one more note: Melody opens up a tiny bit about her mental health in the winter. Seasonal Affective Disorder is tough, folks. Take care of yourselves, and if you take Vitamin D, don't forget to eat a fat with it! Mind. Blown.Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

This week we read The Duke and I by Julia Quinn. Are you a sucker for a rakish Duke, a lady who can throw a punch, and a fake dating scheme? We are TOO! Plus, this is a recommendation from the very first listener email we ever got. We're so thankful for everyone who takes time out of their lives to listen to our little pod, and we love to hear from you. Thank you for loving this crazy genre as much as we do! Now let's get our happily-ever-after on! (Spoiler alert: they end up smooching and loving it). Self-Love Recommendations:  - Ginger-infused tea; it'll cure what ails you!  - Listen to episode 7 of Queery with Cameron Esposito; it's an interview with Stephanie Beatriz about bisexuality, bi-erasure, acting, and "being shitty with yourself" in order to succeed. So good! Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

We love Thanksgiving and we LOVED this sexy Thanksgiving read! It had all the wit, heart, redemption, and STEAM we expect from a good romance novel. Plus, being back in Oregon with a teenager who is straight up goals wasn't too shabby either. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, HBs!  Self-Love Recommendations:  - Grab a pal and do something creative and fun. Melody is is on the happy tears train after finally starting this podcast. Also, follow @oliviawilde on instagram; you won't regret it.  - While on Insta, head over to @bodyposipanda and follow Megan Jayne Crabbe as well! If you like that, you may want to pick up her book Body Positive Power: How to stop dieting, make peace with your body and live. She's a body positive unicorn guru and she makes the world better. Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Erin and Mel read Bad Boys Undercover: Under the Wire by HelenKay Dimon, but mostly talk about how many gunshot wounds is too many for sex. Also, please welcome our new spin-off show, Logistics with Erin.  Note: this episode was originally recorded in late October, so Ember is BACK! Don't worry for Melody, she made it.  Self Love Recommendations:  - Create or join a book club with people you adore. It's good for the soul (this podcast proves it!).  - Head over to ohmygodyes.com to see what's happening in the science of women's pleasure. There's a one time payment that gets you access to all videos and publications they have to offer. Revenue goes back into funding more research, too! Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

This week Erin and Melody read their first historical with The Duchess War by Courtney Milan! This was a beautifully written and surprisingly sexy wallflower-meets-duke story that we both loved, even if the duke was less rakish than Erin had hoped. Enjoy!  Self Love Recommendations:  - Take a staycation if you can! Putting your worries on a shelf and being a tourist in your backyard can be very restorative.  - Take a mental health break if you need it, drawing inspiration from figure skater Gracie Gold.Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

This week we read A Shade of Vampire by Bella Forrest! Or, as we’re calling it, 50 Shades of Twilight: A Tale of Teenage Stockholm Syndrome. Full disclosure, we didn’t necessarily *like* this book, but we cannot wait to give you a hilarious after-school special about why we didn’t. We present a *very special episode* about what the kids are reading these days.  Self Love Recommendations:  - Watch Big Little Lies on HBO or something else where talented people are slaying the game.  - Listen to the last 15 minutes of The Ringer's Binge Mode. In the final episode there's a beautiful oration about not being ashamed for your interests and escapism. Plus, best friends gush about each other, which you know we LOVE!  Episode Notes:  If you like excellent vampire tales, be sure to check out American Vampire wherever you get your comics! Scott Snyder is the main writer and they've had arcs with Stephen King and more.  And quick *CORRECTION* from this episode, "women in refrigerators" or "getting refrigerated" began in the 90's with Green LANTERN, not Green Arrow. Either way, I think we can all agree that ladies should be fully formed characters instead of merely plot devices, right? Thank goodness even mainstream comics have seen the light since then!    Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!