Hey everyone! SPECIAL GUEST EPISODE! Talia Hibbert joined Melody to talk all about the Netflix movie Set It Up, as well as her two new releases Work For It (9/3) and Get a Life, Chloe Brown (11/5). Both are available for pr-order! Come listen to us chat about this *almost* woke movie while Melody peppers in questions about Talia's writing and generally dies over her awesomeness.  Bonus Content: What are s'mores, KISS CAMS QUESTION MARK, #justiceforgolfguy, *Bing Boong Bong* Unexpected Patriotism with Melody, and so much more!  Lady Loves:  Talia: Konjac sponges! Fun, awesome, natural!  Melody: Work For It and Get a Life, Chloe Brown. Get them immediately!  Episode Sponsors: Rocking Her Boat is a debut novel by Melanie Edwards! It's got a driven marine biologist heroine and a bad boy rising rock star hero that you should check out immediately!  Words and Kisses the UK monthly romance subscription box! Patreon Shout Out!  Safoora B., you are descended from Aegle, the Greek goddess of radiant health. You may have had that beautiful baby, but you haven’t lost your glow because it’s always come directly from your soul. No matter the situation you can light up any interaction with your sparkling wit, luminous smile, mischievous gleam, and lovely warmth. Your beautiful family, employer, and friends couldn’t do without your dedication to leaving everything better than when you got there. Plus, you have an eye for beauty that is goddess-sent. Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HBs! We're back for One Wore Blue Part 2. I know, we don't want to be here either. HOWEVER! Come hear Mel and Erin cope through humor and ranting!  Content Warnings: enragingly whitewashed depictions of slavery and hate speech.  Patreon Shout Out! Katie K., you are The Witch of the Wild, made modern. You use your powerful magic for good, whether it’s through humor, the way you wield a makeup brush, or bringing a cosplay to life. I also have a feeling that, when behind the bar, your party potions can be legendary. Like the witch you’re inspired by, you also have powerful healing magic. You can pick up a friend who’s down with a look, a kind word, a funny joke, or a cutting remark aimed at the person who hurt them. You can take down your loved ones enemies with the best of them, and you’re not afraid to go there. I’m so glad our cult has you to entertain and protect us.Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HBs! Come join us in this love letter to Confederate Generals where two privileged slave owners angst at each other over states rights (but not slavery because they're both pretty okay with that; STATES RIGHTS!) until they bang it out, or while they bang it out, or after they bang it out. Also it's our first AmericaTimes book!  CONTENT WARNINGS: inaccurate and whitewashed depiction of slavery and hate speech Bonus Content:  Mel copes with this deplorable version of Antebellum white washing with THREE WHOLE PAGES of charming and hilarious southern phrases, Erin hates it, many southern accents, Podcast of Northern Aggression?, Kiernan SUUUUUUUUUCKS, *Bing Boong Bong* Civil War Name Dropping with Erin, was Moses Fancy?, orgasming through a snapchat filter, and Erin proposes a hypothesis after reading Sookie and this: is this type of O the super power of Civil War Era Southern Gentlemen?  Lady Loves Melody: "Hard to Swallow Pills: Rejection Sensitivity" Graphic Erin: Katmai Bear Cam! Watch bears being bears at nature's conveyor belt sushi! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4C1c4z8hTQ Patreon Shout Out:  Jen RR, you are a Book Dragon. A creature whose passion for the written word is matched only by your expansive intellect and charring wit. While most dragons hoard their belongings and guard them fiercely against all intruders, you are benevolent and share with anyone who’s looking for a recommendation. You shout good writing from the door of your lair and your taste never falters. One thing you do guard fiercely, however, is your inner circle. You are incredibly protective over, and take gentle care of, the people you deem yours. And your fire breath is a mixed bag. You’re not afraid to call out ignorance and injustice and you can burn anything to the ground with almost zero effort, but you’re quick to warm up a chilled friend with a kind word. You also give amazing hugs.Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HBs! Erin got to talk to CHRISTINA LAUREN! Both Lauren AND Christina! In addition to spending a little time talking about What's My Number (they hate slut-shaming *swoon!*), they talk all about their friendship, writing, breaking into the movie biz, and a ton more. Most importantly, you get to hear how right they are about The One True Chris! #christinalaurensecretthing Make sure to pre-order their next book Twice in a Blue Moon, which is out October 22, 2019!   Patrons will get bonus content with cult questions this week as well!  Lady Loves:  Christina: the K-Pop group BTS! They're her happy place. Lauren: Orange Theory? Well, yes, but also The Right Swipe by Alisha Rai! It's out now!  Patreon Shout Out:  Victoria E, you are descended from Brigid, the Celtic Goddess of poetry, healing, and spring, and a protector of livestock and the young. You have an artist’s soul, the work ethic of a meticulous scientist, and an analytical mind that can tackle any problem. Like the season Brigid governs, you rejuvenate everything you lay your eyes on. You pick yourself and your loved ones up because you’re a steadfast champion of well-being in all aspects of life. So, grab a book, a cup of tea, some berries, and curl up with those kitties, because you deserve all the care and contemplation you crave.  Episode Sponsor!  Rocking Her Boat is a debut novel by Melanie Edwards! It's got a driven marine biologist heroine and a bad boy rising rock star hero that you should check out immediately! Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HBs! Are you wondering how the story ends for Nate and Robyn? You're in luck because we're here to recap part two of Perv by Dakota Gray! Plus, why is smells, what is time (a flat circle?), how does money, where friendship? But more than anything, TIT SLAPPING!  Bonus Content:  Matthew McConaugHEYYYYYY vs. The McConaissance, doggy paddle boarding, Big Al's, doe-shaped eyes, and so much more!  Make sure to check out our Patreon bonus content at https://www.patreon.com/heavingbosomspodcast Subscribe! Rate! Review!  Merch: Redbubble And follow our socials:  Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms Facebook: facebook.com/heavingbosomspodcast  Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HBs! We’re here with Perv by Dakota Gray. It has so many things we usually love. Interracial couple! Graphic sex scenes! Kink! Frank sexual health talks! And yet…. It wasn’t for us because Alphaholes aren’t Melody’s thing and Erin … well, Erin explains. It's specific.  Bonus Content:  Mel’s brother is now a patron (gah!), Erin is honest to a stranger about what she’s reading, Melody has MANY OPINIONS about alcoholic beverages, the Bachelorette contestant Lil’ Pete, the Wine Aficionado of Cunts, Bing Boong Bong Army with Erin, Bing Boong Bong Sexual Health with Melody, Irrational Assholes and Irrational Alphaholes, Melody explains dental dams, and the Kenny G board game.  Lady Loves: Melody - The Dixie Chicks Erin - Queer Eye Season 4 Patreon Shout Out:  Ali F, you are a parasitic Arctic ice worm that burrows deep inside the brains of unsuspecting geophysicists, a dog, and at least two FBI Agents that refuse to accept their true feelings for each other. You turn your hosts into murderous psychopaths incapable of controlling their wrath and paranoia. You are ruthless, crafty, and devoted to survival at all costs. It's not the most glamorous job, but you do get to hang out in Alaska, which is pretty cool. Even cooler, you delivered that great scene where Mulder and Scully check each other's bodies for parasitic ice worms. This was very important to Erin in 1993, so she thanks you.  Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HBs! Come join us for the end of Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris! In addition to Sookie and Vampire Bill's HEA (or HFN? WHO KNOWS!), Erin and I tell you all about "The Melody" from Erin's wedding, we hate book Jason but Melody LOOOOOVES TV Jason, we get real with Tweety Bird, and question how we've done orgasms our whole lives?  PATREON SHOUT OUT:  Jenny P., you are an acolyte of The Norns, or the Fates of Norse mythology. From Skuld, or she who is becoming, you get your widely celebrated connection to, and ability to interpret, the future. Only someone like you could capture both the beauty and support that tarot has to offer and make it tangible for so many. From Urd, or that which was, you get a millennia of human experience baked into your bones. You draw from this wisdom daily, especially when it counts. Finally from Verdandi, or that which is becoming, you get your impressive ability to be present. No matter what life throws at you, never underestimate the value of just being you when shit inevitably hits the fan. It’s not about saying or doing the “right” thing, it’s about being there for those you love, and your instincts won’t let you do anything else.  EPISODE SPONSOR:  This episode is sponsored by Love and Gravity by Rebel Carter! It's her first rom com and a multicultural STEM Hufflepuff romance with a curvy Latina lab queen and swoon worthy reformed bad boy. One reviewer gushed, "Anton and Grace are hilarious, flawed, sweet people who I fell in love with right away! This book is witty, fun, and emotional. And it has ladies killing it in STEM!”" Hurry, hurry! Purchase this hilarious novel! Also follow Violet Gaze Press to keep up with new releases!   Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HBs! We're here with part 1 of Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris, the first book in the Southern Vampire series or, as we like to call it, the Sookie Stackhouse series! This was a foundational book in Erin's romance-loving career and she will defend Sookie and Bill's perfection until true death. Meanwhile, Melody is more of a show girl, soooo... Bonus Content: Erin's post-army haircut!, Mel was a little bored with Sookie (partially because she's not in a great mental/emotional state), Ryan Kwanten doing yoga (drool), the excellence that is Dillards on a sexy vampire, and more! Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HBs! Due to a gross but minor health issue, Erin was unable to read about sexy vampires last week. So, we put Sookie on hold and discussed everyone’s favorite new Netflix romcom, Always Be My Maybe! Next week we will return to our normal reading list! Bonus Content: A little on Erin's wedding, loooooots of Keanu love (his thumbs!), and so much more!  Patreon Shout Out:  Crystal T, you are a Splintercat, a ferocious feline legend of the Pacific Northwest that has incredible speed, can fly, and has an uncrackable skull. You basically fly at top speed into trees to knock the raccoons and bees out so that you can nom on raccoon meat and honey. You’re apparently the cause of all the dead snag trees seen around the Northwestern United States. There’s a bad rumor that Splintercats are mean and very moody. Lumberjacks are advised to never approach a Splintercat in a bad mood and leave gifts of food when in doubt. It’s not the best reputation, but hey, men leave you alone except to give you free food? If you don’t want that gig, we’ll take it.Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey y'all! We're here with JenReadsRomance from twitter and Fated Mates Podcast glory to chat about Cinnamon Blade: Knife in Shining Armor by Shira Glassman! It's an f/f novella starring a superhero and a nerdy assistant. There's aliens, there are consent boners, there's public sex, there are puns... in the words of Cin, "heart eyes!" We loved it.  Plus, lots of Melody and Jen not being able to remember names of movies and important comic book characters, so the usual!  Self Love Recommendations:  Melody: Coffee concentrate ice cubes! Yum! Jen: Do something naughty in the middle of the day. Like have an alcoholic beverage! The light of day makes some regular old things feel illicit and nice.  Episode Sponsor: Heart and Hand by Rebel Carter! It’s a menage, mail order bride romance set in Western Times that will melt your heart and set your bathing suit parts alight. Talia Hibbert says "Rebel Carter writes with wit, elegance, and longing. Her love stories exist in a world of their own, and it's one I never want to leave." Hurry, hurry! Purchase this wonderful novel! Also follow Violet Gaze Press to keep up with new releases!  Patreon Shout Out:  Misty HL, you are a Joint Snake, a legendary creature from the Southern United States that can break itself or be cut into teeny tiny pieces and magically reassemble like nothing happened. One account says that if the Joint Snake is cut with a knife, it will make the knife into a new piece of itself, making it even stronger than before it was cut. Seriously, do not fuck with this snake, she’ll just use whatever comes at her to come back even stronger. Resilience is her superpower.Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! We're coming at you with Part 2 of Josh and Hazel's Guide to not dating! In which we swoon and try not to read you the entire thing because we love it so muuuuuch.  Patreon Shout Out!  Liz Z, you are a Snallygaster, a dragon-like beast that specifically inhabits Frederick County, Maryland. The Snallygaster is half-reptile, half-bird, so basically a badass dinosaur. You swoop silently from the sky to catch your victims and then you suck their blood vampire-style. Your screech is louder than a locomotive whistle and you have an extra eye in the center of your forehead. Seriously, you are a very badass situation. No joke, Teddy Roosevelt considered postponing his African safari to hunt for Snallygasters in the Greater-D.C. Metro Area. This really happened. And he was the President.Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Heyyyyy! We've got some quirky, light adorableness for you! No content warning here except maybe, Get Ready For the Squeeeeee! Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating by Christina Lauren was everything we could have wished for. Hazel is Melody on cute and cuddly crack, Josh is currently in the running for Best Book Boyfriend of 2019, the angst is low, the steam is high, the voices are FUN, and the romance is super sweet. Just. Lovely.  Bonus Content:  Erin gets revenge, we talk about our Patreon fundraiser for the Yellowhammer Fund, Hazel is confidence goals, Mel comes in with some food hot takes, we duel for the stage, Erin comes clean the risks she'll take for free butter cookies, and so much more!  Episode Sponsor! New Girl In Town by Rebel Carter. It's an age gap romance with an older heroine who is starting over after leaving an abusive ex-husband. The hero is so sweet and respectful and hot and swoon-worthy. Hurry, hurry! Purchase this wonderful novel! Also follow Violet Gaze Press to keep up with new releases!  Patreon Shout Out!  Patricia BM, you are an Agropelter, a fearsome critter that lives in hollow conifer trees from Maine to Oregon. From your vantage point in the trees, you take great joy in pelting unsuspecting lumberjacks with splinters and branches with the speed of a bullet. But probably only those who super deserve it.  There exists no description of what you look like, because you are so quick that you have never been seen by human eyes. However, we all know you’re incredibly gorgeous. You also only have babies in odd numbers and you eat hoot owls and woodpeckers. So you keep on shooting your excellence into the world, Patricia, it’s what you were made for. Indie Podcast Promo:  World Stealers from More Banana Hosts and professional nerds Cait and Liz take deep dives into some of their favorite fandoms and into the amazing corner of the internet that is fanfiction. Covering everything from Star Wars to The Little Mermaid, each episode is a fresh discussion of a new bit of geek culture followed by an original fanfiction, written and read by one of the hosts. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll wish they were better at British accents. Subscribe via Apple, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts!Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HBs! We're back with the final part of Bully by Penelope Douglas! Hear more about The LOOP!, girl-on-girl crime, sex in an autumn storm, and the caper of a lifetime.  Bonus Content: Always Be My Maybe, Erin's motorcycle trip and subsequent hypothermia, and Celine Dion's All Coming Back To Me Now music video.    Self-Love Recommendations:  Erin: Busy Philipps is a QUEEN whose show Busy Tonight got cancelled on E!. And she proceeded to do a meditation on lady love and knowing your worth in the final two episodes. The biggest take away: "you're running a marathon, but the trick when things go sideways, is to realize the marathon you're actually running."  Melody: Episode 13.5 of Fated Mates called "Freewheeling." It's all about women's bodily autonomy and reproductive issues like pregnancy, miscarriage, still birth, abortion, and more, and centered in romance!    EPISODE SPONSOR! Be sure to pre-order today's sponsor novel Blood Captive by Kim Loraine for just $0.99! books2read.com/bloodcaptive The novel releases on June 17.  Here’s the description: He wanted me for my blood… Living on the run was all I’d ever known. My life was unstable, but at least I wasn’t alone. That all changed when my mother was murdered. I ran from the unknown creatures she’d always feared. Until the day I stopped being afraid. That was my first mistake. Cashel Blackthorne took me as his captive, but more than that, he opened my eyes to the terrible truth of the world. Vampires exist, and I am the key to their salvation. The Blackthorne vampires need my blood but their prince desires more—me. There’s something between us neither of us can deny. He is my captor, but I’ll be his ruin.   PATREON SHOUT OUT!  Michele K, you are a Goofus Bird, a backwards-flying taloned bird of prey that flies backwards and builds your nest upside down. You have a turkey-like head, long green neck with silver scales, a black right wing and a pink left wing, which sounds kind of nuts, but trust us, you’re working it. The Goofus marches to the beat of its own drum. The Goofus is often perceived as silly and aimless, but underestimating you is a big mistake. You know exactly where you’re going and what you’re doing. That’s why you don’t even need to look. Maybe your nest is upside down, or maybe your nest is the only one that’s right-side up.   We're doubling and donating all new and increased Patreon pledges in June and July to the Yellowhammer Fund, so if you're on the fence, now is the time! https://www.patreon.com/heavingbosomspodcast   Indie Podcast Promo:  There Will Be Porn with Cait and Murda!  Vintage Porn recapped by millennial women who are mostly ok with butt stuff. Instagram TwitterMentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HBs! We're here with Bully by Penelope Douglas. It's a new adult romance between middle-aged-sounding high schoolers who used to be best friends until he turned into a super villain and started bullying her. Listen, a lot of it didn't work for us, but the sexy times did. It was also an incredible vehicle for raceway noises, learning about arborists, and Melody climbing so high on an anti slut-shaming soap box that I doubt we'll ever see her again.  More Bonus Content:  Erin's got attitude, Mel's got disclaimers, Cult housekeeping, book recs are NEVER a reflection on the person who recommended them, name opinions, Melody cannot let go of all the girl-on-girl crime, *Bing Boong Bong Bird Click* What Are Arborists? with Erin, vrooom vrooom beep beep!  Self-Love Recommendations:  Melody: Please, please, PLEASE donate to The Yellowhammer Fund to help our sisters in Alabama and The National Network of Abortion Funds to help our sisters all over the nation access basic medical care and take charge of their reproductive futures.  Erin: ... Yasso Greek Yogurt Ice Cream Bars are super good!  Episode Sponsor: Heart and Hand by Rebel Carter! It’s a menage, mail order bride romance set in Western Times that will melt your heart and set your bathing suit parts alight. Talia Hibbert says "Rebel Carter writes with wit, elegance, and longing. Her love stories exist in a world of their own, and it's one I never want to leave." Hurry, hurry! Purchase this wonderful novel! Also follow Violet Gaze Press to keep up with new releases!  Patreon Shout out: Danellia V, you are a Cactus Cat, a feline of the American Southwest, with hair like thorns and a particularly spiny tail. At night you slash cacti with your sharp tail, and then come back a couple of days later to drink the now-fermented juice. It is said that the Cactus Cat can be heard whooping it up at her very own badass cactus juice party from miles around. You’re basically a home-brew and self-care expert. You’re also immune to scorpions. Indie Podcast Promo:  World Stealers from More Banana Hosts and professional nerds Cait and Liz take deep dives into some of their favorite fandoms and into the amazing corner of the internet that is fanfiction. Covering everything from Star Wars to The Little Mermaid, each episode is a fresh discussion of a new bit of geek culture followed by an original fanfiction, written and read by one of the hosts. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll wish they were better at British accents. Subscribe via Apple, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts!Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

This episode, Erin and Melody are talking about Haven by Rebekah Weatherspoon! It's part of her Beards and Bondage series and, really, what more can you ask for, AMIRITE?? Come experience how Claudia and Shep are thrown together by tragedy and discover that the best way forward is through dominance, submission, and the careful application of .... bungee cord. SWOON!  Bonus Content: Paradise Hotel (already cancelled!), Erin mutes a cough! Guys! Erin mutes a cough!, Melody discovers a CB radio kink, *Bing Boong Bong* You Need a Lawyer with Erin, the ladies attempt quantum mechanics and NOTHING goes wrong, Erin and Mel realize they're not mathologists, nor penis geometrists, but they might be able to handle penis physics?, #TITSOUTFORBREAKFAST, Sexy Safety with Erin, #nopoopin2020 (hahahahaha, never gonna happen), Shep makes Melody's favorite garment: crotchless leggings.  Lady Loves:  Erin: How Did This Get Made's episodes on Little Italy, When Justin Met Kelly, and Speed 2: Cruise Control Mel: Beware Psychic Vampires and watch Someone Great on Netflix!  Patreon Shout Out: Monica M, you are a Glawackus, or Northern Devil Cat, a fearsome critter who makes an impact on everyone you come in contact with. You are a combination of a lion, bear, and a panther known for its bone rattling screech and, of course, your graceful courage. You have eyes that glow like embers, and your gaze is so intense that a lumberjack cannot look into your eyes without forgetting their own name. That definitely sounds like you, lady. Get it.  Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HBs! We're back for Part 2 of Fires of Winter by Johanna Lindsay! Viking Times continues to be pretty problematic, but with a little escape, imprisonment, kidnapping, and (of course) rape, these two crazy kids end up together. Yay!(??) Bonus Content:  *Bing Boong Bong* What are Scandinavian Bears with Melody, the worst one woman show script we've ever read, and "is anyone even listening?" with Erin.  Lady Loves:  Melody: the movies Wine Country and Teen Titans GO! Erin: Fancy French Macaroons!  Patreon Shout Out! Becky C, you are a Dungavenhooter, a crocodile-like creature that resides in the Northern Woods of the United States. The Dungavenhooter uses its huge tail to murderlate drunk lumberjacks, then jumps up and down on them until they turn into a vapor that it inhales to live. The only sound you make is a snort, but that’s okay because you can use that for both humor and disapproval, which are really the only two things you need to express anyway. THe world needs more ladies who will take absolutely no shit, so you enjoy inhaling your drunk lumberjacks, girl. Make sure to subscribe, and rate and review for the bribe! Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HBs! Oh boooyyyyyy. We're coming at you with Fires of Winter by Johanna Lindsey! I'm not gonna mince words. We loathed it. I'm not even sure this thing is funny. We did a lot of laughing, but mostly out of discomfort, bafflement, and rage. Part 2 will be funny, though! This is a Viking Times book originally published in 1980 and, while a Johanna Lindsey "bodice ripper" was requested, Melody really out did herself with this particular choice. We've got Vikings, betrayal, slavery, so. much. rape., and ... arms akimbo!  CONTENT WARNING: slavery, rape, assault, other various sexual assaults, kidnapping, and more.  SUPER SPECIAL BIRTHDAY SHOUT OUT:  To the ultimate Queen of Pentacles: Happy birthday to Holly the woman who does it all, from flourishing at work, to hosting an excellent podcast, to nurturing your King of Pentacles and sweet rascal Mac, you’re a force to be reckoned with and your friends, especially Esther, hope you have an amazing birthday week. PATREON SHOUT OUT:  Jennifer LB, you are descended from Hestia, the goddess of the hearth, architecture, and good order in all things. You may be an introvert, but you possess Hestia’s inviting warmth down to your core. The hearth was the center of every household and, so too. you are the center and glue of your family. Your tender nurturing, balanced with your scorching wit, are irreplaceable. And Hestia would be beyond proud of how you wield the Dewey decimal system. After all, what's more orderly than the miles of well organized bookshelves you preside over?  Indie Podcast Promo:  There Will Be Porn with Cait and Murda!  Vintage Porn recapped by millennial women who are mostly ok with butt stuff. Instagram TwitterMentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! We've got more Melody catnip: alien erotic romance! We're talking about Barbarian's Mate, the 7th installment of the Ice Planet Barbarians series. We've got Josie, the last of the original women to resonate, and Haeden, the grumpiest 7 foot blue alien a girl could ask for. But dudes! He's not grumpy! He's a secret cinnamon roll who just can't stop spilling in his loin cloth! This duke is a virgin and he's the virgin duke of her secret dreams.  Bonus Content:  Potty training, our humble comments on the title (get @ us authors, we offer our services to all), new segment transition: *Beep Boop Bird Click*, IUD hijinks, taking someone to your FURS, faking farts to hide your true love, luxury caves, lady nectar, heavy balls, spurs, sexy papoose, and how to not be a Romeo.  Lady Loves:  Erin: Maybelline Super Stay Matte in Self Starter (which she now concedes is the best lipstick on the market) Melody: Make good choices for yourself, like not furtively eating frosting with a spoon like a Gollum. For tons of bonus content, shout outs, and gifts, check out our PATREON! Patreon Shout Out:  Whitney J. You are descended from Poseidon. Just like the god of the sea, horses, and earthquakes, you know how to juggle everything within your domain to perfection. You possess the depth and power of the sea, with a good sense of when to go with the flow. You have the loyalty, dependability, and high spirit of the fastest steed. And you have not only the wisdom and foresight to know when things need to be shaken up, but the courage to follow through. You love boundlessly and are fearsome when defending your domain.  Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey all! We're back with part 2 of 99 Percent Mine by Sally Thorne! Darcy and her werve Tom get steamy in a bar, make us shout "It's ON (TM) in the best ways, and force us to read too many gorgeous passages at an almost compulsive level. Bonus Content: Tiffany Reisz got Melody a birthday present in her release of The Rose, Erin chats about the Bananas Books panel at Kiss Con, we plug Read Me Romance podcast, we share our wisdom about hard work bodies, Erin makes it clear that she DIDN'T objectify that man out loud... at first, we take a hard stand that we want only the most rational asshole, Erin shows her tarot prowess, you get a peek at our editing stratagems, Erin noodles, *Bing Boong Bong* Turtle Time with Erin and Melody.  Lady Loves:  Mel: C-section support panties are gonna be a great hack to get you close to the glory of underswears. Just get out that embroidery needle or iron-on kit and go to town!  Erin: Lizzo's new album Cuz I Love You. AMAZING lady love.  Check out Read Me Romance podcast!  iTunes https://apple.co/2zWd7tX Google Play https://bit.ly/2AGnL9v Spotify  https://spoti.fi/2FFs205 Stitcher https://bit.ly/2yX2zeH Patreon Shout Out:  Shevaun B, you are descended from Aglaea, one of the three graces who was known for beauty, splendor, glory, and adornment. You’ve taken what could be a lovely, yet shallow legacy and turned it into something truly inspiring. You understand the most important thing is to cultivate the beauty of your interior, so you take time and effort to learn and grow both intellectually and emotionally. You glorify your relationships with care and respect. You realize that true splendor lies in good food and even better company. And you adorn your beings with the hallmarks of a life well-lived: love, laughter, loyalty, and longevity. Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! We're coming in hot after 2 weeks of being away from each other while Erin was traveling. And we've got 99 Percent Mine by Sally Thorne! It's her second novel and it's just as quirky, funny, beautiful, and romantic, plus it's packing some extra depth with a heroine on the road to healing and a hero who's trying not to buckle under the pressure the world puts on him. Childhood friends! Tiny dogs! Sugar addiction! Fortune telling Grandma! Contemporary WERVE! It's got everything. Bonus Content:  Erin's EPIC first meeting with Sally Thorne.  Lady Loves:  Melody: Get yourself a big change if you're feeling like you're in a rut. This haircut was everything I needed and more.  Erin: Read the Behind the Book Essay in this novel. Sally Thorne had to start over from scratch in the face of The Hating Game's huge, unexpected success and she wrote this book with her sweat and tears and worry and above all, her insane talent and voice. She uses this essay to inspire readers to finish whatever impossible thing they've started because "whether it's a success or a failure, no one can take your The End prize away from you."    Brittany B, you are a Nereid, a sea nymph who represents all of the best parts of the ocean. Your personality is kind as a helpful current, your intellect as bountiful as an untouched coral reef, your heart as deep and wide as the Mariana Trench, and your wit as quick as a darting fish. People should know not to mess with you, though, because you've got riptides and crashing waves enough to protect you and everyone you love. Nereids are represented by beautiful maidens and girl, you got that going on, too.Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey friends! Melody is joined by friend of the pod and Golden Heart Finalist Sara Netzley AKA Sara Whitney! We're coming at you with a DELICIOUS novella by Alyssa Cole, Can't Escape Love! It's part of her Reluctant Royals series, where Portia's twin sister Reggie gets her HEA with the puzzle nerd of her dreams. It's adorable, it's smart, it's witty, it's super sexy. And it's a great primer for A Prince On Paper, which comes out on April 30!  Bonus Content: Kiss Con Jealousy, salad dressing, and more chats about open-eyed kissing!  Lady Loves:  Sara: the mid-2000's TV show Chuck, staring Zachary Levi and Yvonne Strahovski (StraHOTski!).  Melody: Oreos, but more than that, recognize when something will be good for you, even if you need to reframe your mindset or pump yourself up to get there and DO IT!Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! Erin joined cult favorite Cole on his podcast to recap the best rom com of all time, The Cutting Edge. As a former competitive figure skater and semi-professional podcaster, Erin jumps right in and tells Cole what he’s been getting wrong in the podcast (a lot), drops scorching hot takes, and gives you all the on-the-ice details you need. Don't worry guys, she's only seen this movie at least 185 times and she STILL took detailed notes. Listen to just how deadly the “Pamchenko Twist” is, why Olympic figure skating shouldn’t be done in the dark, and Erin’s theory about Terry O’Quinn’s acting method (hint: it all starts with facial hair). “Toepiiiiiiiiick!!!!"  Follow the Cigarette Burns Pod on social media! Instagram and Twitter: @cigburnspod Thank you to all of our patrons! If you want to join the ranks head to https://www.patreon.com/heavingbosomspodcast Thank you to everyone who's subscribed, rated, and reviewed! It helps us so much!  Follow us on social media!  Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms Facebook: Heaving Bosoms Podcast Closed Facebook Group: The Heaving Bosoms Podcast Geriatric Friendship Cult www.heavingbosomspodcast.com Patreon Shout Out:  Sarah B., you are Thalia, one of the Graces, and the goddess of Festivity and Banquets. You have a warm, enthusiastic personality, and a smile that can light up any room. While not in the mood to entertain all the time, you still use your welcoming effervescence to put anyone you come in contact with at ease. You have a deep well of love and your friends really appreciate the way you tailor your affection to suit each and every one individually.Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! Happy Monday! Are you ready for the conclusion of Eyes of Silver, Eyes of Gold by Ellen O'Connell? The slow burn is about to pay off! Plus, this excellent romance turns into an all-out action movie we want to see.   Bonus Content:  Melody's serious face, hair falling out by the fistful, the Chris EVANS Mountain Lodge candle from Yankee Candle, all of the amazing and hilarious cult videos about the candle, don't you dare touch our spanx, the well-known Constantinople Wagon, a Colorado acre, Snoot Boopers: Equine Edition, and so much more!   Sponsored by Through the Red Door by Sadira Stone! You can find her debut contemporary novel on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Googleplay, Overdrive, Kobo, and iTunes! Description:  Letting him inside could be her salvation…or her undoing. Clara Martelli clings to Book Nirvana, the Oregon bookshop she and her late husband Jared built together. When rising rents and corporate competition threaten its survival, her best hope is their extensive erotica collection, locked behind a red door. In dreams and signs, her dead husband tells her it's time to open that door and move on. When a dark and handsome stranger's powerful magnetism jolts her back to life and he wants a look at the treasures of that secret room, she can't help but want to show him more. Professor Nick Papadopoulos is looking for historical erotica. Book Nirvana's collection surpasses his wildest dreams, and so does its lovely owner. A widower, he understands Clara's battle with guilt, but their searing chemistry is too strong to resist. Besides, he will only be in town for two weeks, not long enough for her to see beyond the scandal that haunts his past. Patreon Shout Out! Shante G., you are an acolyte of Iris, Greek goddess of the Rainbow and messenger for the gods. Just like Iris, your specialty is helping people get their messages out to the world, helping them curate their ideas to have the most impact. But, lady, you do it with passion and pizzazz. You bring the full spectrum of verve to everything you do, because you can’t help but be the personification of a rainbow. For many coastal-dwelling Greeks, rainbows would appear to arc from the ocean up into the clouds, so they believed that Iris replenished the rain clouds with water. Just like her, you rejuvenate everyone you come in contact with because of your positivity and love.   Be sure to subscribe, rate, and review. And follow us on all the socials!   Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! This here is Part 1 of Eyes of Silver, Eyes of Gold by Ellen O'Connell. We've got an interracial relationship which starts with a traumatic shotgun wedding, a slow-burn romance that pays off (in our next episode), and so much action and world-building we couldn't do it all justice. This book is an excellent western and an excellent romance, but we have some content warnings! There are depictions of assault, sexual assault, animal abuse, racism, and more.  Bonus Content: Alaskan minigolf and a hibachi engagement, new time period thanks to HB Fanny - Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman Times!, Melody gets a visceral education about the word mongrel, cowboy leans, Erin has udder questions, Melody brings the club to the country with abs, abs, abs, DICK!, Melody decides that Hapa is an acceptable term to use for the hero, who is half Native American, half white, because that's the accepted and celebrated term she grew up with in Hawaii for mixed-race babies and what she calls her own children, hilarious practical jokes in Dr. Quinn Times, how we imagine Ann C. listens to the podcast, and so much more.  Self-Love Recommendations:  Erin: You can curl your hair with a skinny strightening iron!  Melody: SPF - get it on your face.  Episode Sponsor:  Bubbles and Books! Use the offer code HEAVINGBOSOMS10 to get 10% off your first order! Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night"  Instagram Pintrest Twitter Patreon Shout Out!  Bethany M., you are smiled upon by Hi'iaka, the Hawaiian goddess of hula, chants, sorcery, and medicine. Hi'iaka was known for her loyalty, dedication, kindness, and bravery. Like her, you will take up perilous quests for those you love, whether they deserve it or not. Hi'iaka helped the people of Hawaii express themselves through hula and song and you similarly use your technological skills to do the same. And if she had bluetooth, you bet believe there would have been more than one mishap as she consumed her smut. Most of all, you're beautiful on the inside and out, and will be rewarded just as she was. Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! We're here with The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guillory. It's a contemporary, BWWM romance that's... mostly about donuts and coffee? THAT'S UNFAIR. Listen, we really wanted to love this one and we didn't.  BONUS CONTENT: Hey skippers! You're in luck because Erin is over banter. Melody might be extra critical because she's acclimating to her hormonal IUD, but she doesn't think that's the problem. Awkwardness that can happen in interracial relationships, illegible muppet notes, has Erin been to her own wedding?, Michael's secret Toy Story obsession, bathroom trips with friends new and old, that one wedding where Erin was double-fisting double gins and Melody was heaping dairy on her plate (intolerance be damned), tip-of-the-nose-kissing gets a boop on the snoot, Snoot Boopers: a new show for dogs, *BING BOONG BONG* HIPAA Violations with Erin, and the problem with depictions of body issues with no orgasmic band-aid. We mention Black Chick Lit Podcast and Lacey's GoodReads review of The Proposal! Check them both out! Twitter: @blackchicklit, Instagram: @bclpodcast Not Your Mom's Romance Book Club also has a review about this novel! Twitter and Instagram: @notyourmomsrom Self Love Recommendations:  Melody: don't feel bad about DNFing a book. Read something you know you'll love like I did with Surrender to Sin and The Devil's Submission by Nicola Davidson.  Erin: You guys there's this new show called Snoot Boopers that's a riot and a half. So if you're a dog in a TV rut, check that nonsense out! Episode Sponsor:  Bubbles and Books! Use the offer code HEAVINGBOSOMS10 to get 10% off your first order! Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night"  Instagram Pintrest Twitter Patreon Shout Out!  Sarah E., you are a Ghost Writer. No, not someone who helps authors finish their manuscripts, but rather a shy, friendly ghost that rearranges text to solve cozy mysteries, correct grammar, help children learn, and basically make everything better. Ghost writers are known to travel through time, illuminating historical texts for today’s readers and giving new voice to history. They are known to hang out with Jamal, Gabby and the gang in Brooklyn in 1995, but also curled up with a cup of tea and a feline companion when not on the job. In related news, boy, do we hope you watched the American kids TV show, Ghostwriter.Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

It's our 75th episode and we're here for the conclusion of A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas! Feyre and Rhysand are working together, spying badly, dry humping in the Court of Nightmares, and FALLING LURVE FOREVER. Bonus Content: Pleasure Barges, Scrotal Wings, IUD's, Bing Boong Bong Immortality Bathtubs with Erin, and so much more. Lady Loves: Erin: The Shkoop! A staple of arctic fashion. Melody: Get yourself some clothes that fit. Waiting until you lose that X amount of lbs and fit into your pants again just makes you needlessly feel terrible about yourself. Dress the body you've got because it's wonderful and gorgeous and good to you. Check out out PATREON to see all the awesome benefits you can get by supporting us! Patreon Shout Out! Ashley M., you are the Loch Ness Monster. Hear us out. Deep in what appears to be a quiet sea of cubicles, lurks an HB with some serious smut in her headphones. Like Nessie, you are more than happy to submerge with a good book or reality show for a few hundred years, and you only show your scales when absolutely necessary – to stand up for what you believe in, or to protect your beloved home, family, and furbabies. Most of all, like the magical, immortal creature of the Loch, you are absolutely one of a kind. Want to advertise on the podcast? Email [email protected] for our rates! Mentioned in this episode: Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's!! IT'S TIME! We're finally talking about A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas! It's book 2 of her Court of Thorns and Roses Series. We've got Feyre out from under the mountain and engaged to that dumb dummy Tamlin, but not for long! Then it's all night court all the time. SKIPPERS! Skip to 20:35 if you want to get straight to the book. You're gonna miss out on Ripped Bodice, though. Bonus Content: Blood sharing, new names for book 1, Erin's Pilgrimage to The Ripped Bodice, Sexy Night King sexiness, "Schmerger," Spring Court: The Taint of Fairyland, Erin still refuses to learn or remember names, #feministfaeisbae, Bing Boong Bong Tamlin's Not that Bad with Erin, Bing Boong Bong Tamlin is a Big Dumb Dummy with Melody, Water Wraith Drummer Boys, and the best, most delicious Brownie Batter metaphor you've ever heard. YUM. Self Love Recommendations:  Erin: The Magicians Season 4 and Little Italy, a terribly wonderful movie on Amazon Prime Melody: Big Mouth Season 2 and "We're all a little broken, that's how the light gets in" Episode Sponsor: Bubbles and Books! Use the offer code HEAVINGBOSOMS10 to get 10% off your first order! Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night" Instagram Pintrest Twitter Patreon Shout Out! Blair B., you are a Basilisk. You are a great serpent queen with a deadly glare, turning lesser beings to stone with just one glance. Leaving deadly venom in your wake for all those deserving of your ire, you are one badass lady. According to our online research, you only have two weaknesses: the odor of weasels (weird, right?) and preteen Gryffindors, so watch out for that. Otherwise, you are pretty much the queen of everything. Mentioned in this episode: Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Erin and Melody discuss The Seduction of Viscount Vice by Nicola Davidson. It's a DELICIOUS England Times/Highlander Times 2nd chance love story between a burly Highlander and the lass he thought was dead. There's also the pleasure club he owns, the pleasure club she's helping to open by spying on him, excellent side characters, betrayal, and sexy exhibitionism!  Bonus Content:  Mel talks about experiencing postpartum anxiety, Erin woke up feeling REAL ok with not having any responsibility this morning, apple tarts, Prince Thabiso makes a cameo, flirting via cakes, awarding the Heaving Bosoms Cunt Award, highlander hair salon dreams, PIRATE QUEENS, sexy theater directions, Sexy Pied Pipers, and so much more!  Lady Loves:  Erin: The Spanx Pillow Cup Signature Pushup Plunge Bra. It's got memory foam cups!  Melody: Take care of yourself, forgive yourself, and don't forget to do something you love, even when you're not quite feeling up to it. Your day will improve!  Episode Sponsor:  Bubbles and Books! Use the offer code HEAVINGBOSOMS10 to get 10% off your first order! Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night"  Instagram Pintrest Twitter Patreon Shout Out!  Dani R., you are a Manticore. With the body of a great cat, the spiny tail of a scorpion, and the face of a beautiful woman, you are known for your ability to be many things at once – majestic, snuggly, cunning, lethal, and of course, drop dead gorgeous. A worldly being, you have components from Egypt, Persia, and India, picking up knowledge and skills wherever you go. Sure, you also eat human flesh, but we’re sure it’s only when you got reasons.  Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! This week Erin is telling Melody all about Tikka Chance On Me by Suleikha Snyder. It's a delicious novella about a motorcycle club enforcer (or so we think!) and the dutiful daughter working at her parent's Indian restaurant. After months of eyeboning, they learn that the only thing this Chris Evans lookalike might love more than samosas is the Heroine.  Bonus Content:  Sing Movie takeover, the Lunar Eclypse in Alaska, Doggy Genetics, how we'd handle a cease and desist order (with champagne!), and the fact that we can't handle it when Romancelandia is angry.  Lady Loves:  Erin - Schitt's Creek. Come for the Canadian sitcom, but stay for the best portrayal of a gay romance that she's seen in a while.  Melody - the band Me First and the Gimme Gimmes! If you love dancing like a fool to punk covers of great songs, these cats are for you! They're happiness in your speakers.  Patreon Shout Out:  This is a gifted shout out from Susan. Sarah R., you are descended from Maui, the great demigod if Polynesia. Maui was a trickster, a creator, and a survivor. Like Maui, you are beloved for your selfless sense of caring and protection. Maui pulled the Hawaiian islands from the bottom of the ocean and defeated Tuna The Long Eel; similarly, you will bend over backwards to make miracles happen for those you love. And the trickster isn’t quite out of your system. Your red hot sense of humor keeps everyone in belly laughs, and in check, when you’re in their orbit. Maui was dedicated to making the world a better place for all humans and that lives on in you. Your commitment to serving our country, your family, your rescue animals, and your tireless, sometimes biting positivity make him proud. And on a very personal and immediate level: Lady, you’ve got an entire cult, an entire coven behind you. Your light cannot be diminished.Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

We're BAAAAAAAAACK! It's Erin. It's Melody. TOGETHER AGAIN! In this episode we chat a bit about what we did over maternity leave, but mostly we talk about all about the books we read (listed below) and the 2019 HB Reading Embrace!  - Merry Inkmas by Talia Hibbert - A Girl Like Her by Talia Hibbert - Untouchable: A Small Town Romance by Talia Hibbert - Just For Him Complete Series by Talia Hibbert - Dare to Love a Duke by Eva Leigh - Fair, Bright, and Terrible by Elizabeth Kingston - A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas - A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas - Once Ghosted, Twice Shy by Alyssa Cole - The Scarlett Letters: My Secret Year of Men in an LA Dungeon by Jenny Nordbak - Heart and Hand by Rebel Carter Bonus Content:  Breastfeeding friendship mishaps because Valor is a special guest! Patreon Shout Out:  Kathy, you are descended from the Hippocampus; the half horse, half sea creature who was often depicted pulling Poseidon's chariot. Like the Hippocampus, you're graceful and agile, if not always physically, definitely mentally. Your conversation flows due to your creativity, imagination, and easy empathy. Your pack animal ancestor was known to live deep in the ocean, away from the tumult of the surface and, likewise, you crave time in your refuge to recharge, soaking up the tranquility and loyalty of your inner circle. Sailors considered the Hippocampus a good omen because they were a gentle, care-taking creature. Those qualities are reflected in your deep, soulful eyes, while the sparkle and fine laugh lines are a reflection of the joy you take in the choices you've made.Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

It's our final guest-hosted episode and our first all-lady romance as Erin and her friend Liz dive into And Playing the Role of Herself by K.E. Lane. This is a steamy contemporary about two actresses on a Law and Order-style TV show -- one that can't stop being a total bitch, and one that can't stop getting horribly injured. It's fitting that this was our first, because it seems to be the first lesbian romance for a lot of romance readers! If you've ever thought about or read Law and Order: SVU fan fiction, this one is for you!   Bonus Content: Morning breath issues, toe rings, confusing spit takes, noises we make when we really appreciate food, swiping right on a clitoris, obscure references from The Bachelor and Days of Our Lives, the cookie diet, the mysterious way Erin's cats died, lesbian love sex, and plenty of Law and Order: SVU discussion.   Lady Loves: Erin: The new Kindle Paperwhite Liz: The Wirecutter, Sweethome, and The Strategist for every purchase you make.Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! Tanya's here with Melody for the final part of Cat Sebastian's A Soldier's Scoundrel! Jack and Oliver figure out the mystery of the stolen letters, have some VERY SEXY sexy time, and get their HEA.  Bonus Content:  *Bing Boong Bong* Anal Sex with Tanya, Talent Boners, Melody's inability to say the phrase worcestershire sauce, Sara N's personal library, and how to be a good friend with a library. Lady Loves:  Tanya: Three lady-led TV shows that are great! The Bold Type on Freeform, Imposters on Bravo, and Killjoys on SciFi.  Melody: Deep condition your hair! Sometimes, it's just as effective as a trip to refresh your locks.  Tanya: It's never too late! If you need to uproot your life to make an important change, then UPROOT YOUR LIFE! Tanya went back to finish her degree at 37 and is now completing her Masters degree! Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! It's the next episode of maternity leave line up, featuring TANYA! Oh that's right, Tanya from A Knight in Shining Armor fame and glory. Don't worry, she says her piece here.  This week, we're covering part 1 of A Soldier's Scoundrel by Cat Sebastian. It's a queer romance featuring an injured veteran gentleman and a criminal-turned-fixer from the streets. Will they solve the case of the Lady's missing letters? And will they be able to suppress their own desires long enough to do so with their hearts uncompromised?  Bonus Content: A little about our friendship, the England Times gay scene, and the vehicle we're calling The Jeep of England Times. Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey all! We have a special guest for you! JENNY NORDBAK FROM THE WICKED WALLFLOWERS CLUB PODCAST! *squeee!*  Jenny and I talk all about Priest by Sierra Simone. A gorgeous tale about a Priest who's tempted for the first time when he meets a new resident in town. He's got a six pack and a dominant side, and while she's looking for direction for herself, they just might be each other's salvation... or undoing. The squee is real in this episode, y'all. Melody might reach pitches only dogs can hear at times.  Bonus content: Jenny's book The Scarlett Letters: My Secret Year of Men in an LA Dungeon, SchemePod, drunk yoga, BUTT STUFF, and more!  Self-Love Recommendations:  Melody: Put cinnamon directly into your french press when you make winter coffee. Yum!  Jenny: So Beautifully Broken Jewelry. A fellow book lover makes beautiful custom jewelry with many of our favorite lines of books and other motivational sayings.  http://sobeautifullybroken.com/ Instagram: @terriellenburg  Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Oh HBs, do we have a treat for you! Erin and Sara Netzley of The DC TV Report podcast sit down to gush and giggle over Beautiful Player by Christina Lauren, a sweet(but hot) contemporary with more internal conflict than we could handle at times. This one features overworked scientist Hannah and her older brother’s hot friend, Will. If you like outspoken heroines and reformed players, this one is for you! BONUS CONTENT: “Nerd Lingo with Sara,” names for hats, the merits of having a murdery boyfriend, the dos and don'ts of food and sex, “Sexual Safety without Mel,” rules for putting Jesus statues in your cleavage, and pooping in ditches at Disney World. Lady Loves: The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, and My Dad Wrote a PornoMentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

This week Erin teamed up with her friend of fifteen years, Cole, a straight man and novice romance reader, to read The Marriage Contract by Katee Robert. It's a romantic suspense story set in the seedy world of Boston's Irish mafia (or underground?). Do you like Logistics with Erin? Because this episode is basically a two-hour rant about how the mafia and FBI work, with some high praise for *very* good sexytimes, banter, and dirty talk! Plus, we've got in-depth discussions of the critically acclaimed masterpiece, We Bought a Zoo, high school plays, the Bold and the Beautiful, the secret reason Cole needs to go to the Cracker Barrel in Victorville, and more movie references than any of you ever wanted. Spot Conlon! Brooklyn!   Patreon Shout Out:  Bridget M., you are a modern-day high priestess of Nike, the goddess of strength and victory. As a devout worshipper, you know your goddess has been a little misunderstood over the years, because there’s more to life than just winning. Nike is the deity of all the hard work and training that has to go into any endeavor before victory can be assured. Like your lady, you know that self-improvement can always be attained with the right attitude, tools, and sense of commitment that is bones-deep. More than that, you have come around to the notion that you, just as you are, are worth all the effort and long-hours. Furthermore, you’re the embodiment of Nike’s most well-known role in ancient times: divine charioteer. Just like she flew around battlefields rewarding victors with glory and fame, you lift up those around you daily. You’re an amazing role model not only because of your hard work, but because of your innate sense that a rising tide lifts all boats. You’re the cheerleader everyone needs and they can’t help but be inspired by your actions as well as your effervescent support.Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

It's here, it's HERE, the MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR! The stockings are hung, Melody is wrapped in her Reindeer Onesie, knowing the Reindeer Mafia will protect every HB, and we've got basically unlimited access to ALL THE CHRISTMAS LOVE MOVIES. This episode we recap Christmas Wedding Planner. There's, you guessed it, a plucky wedding planner, a PI who's not afraid to ruin everything, and a mystery surrounding the groom-to-be. Will two actors with absolutely zero chemistry fall in lo--WAIT, IS THAT JOEY FATONE? Indeed it is!  Bonus Content: You guys, as of recording Melody is SO PREGNANT. STILL. Also, Deathly Hallows concerts, fried chicken scones, mean mugging, set design excellence, a Melody reaction involving a mahogany desk that Erin wasn't expecting, JOEY FATONE, Melody's excellent impressions, and so much cackling we may have hit our limit.  Patreon Shout Out:  Ushma P., you are a descendent and acolyte of Euphrosyne, one of the three Greek Charities, or Graces. They were responsible for spreading joy and cheer throughout the world, and Euphrosyne in particular was the embodiment of beauty and grace. Ushma, you bring the same enthusiasm and mirth to any task you take on. Like the Graces, you know that a smile and positive attitude can make any situation, no matter how serious, more palatable, and your outlook is a ray of sunshine to anyone you meet. Do you govern your entire life with frivolity? Absolutely not. Instead, you know that the best launching pad for any interaction is kindness and you will offer others the benefit of the doubt as much as humanly possible. However, you’re also not one to let opportunities pass you by in favor of passing fancies, nor will you be anyone’s doormat. Instead, you see every occasion as an opportunity for betterment, whether it’s for yourself or the world at large. Your big heart and sunny disposition give you great power for good.Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! We got into the Christmas Spirit by reading two novellas within this anthology called Heiress Alone by Joanna Shupe and Meet Me In Mayfair by Tessa Dare! Each of these wonderful novellas are tied together by Sarah MacLean's family shortbread recipe and they are just as scrumptious as your favorite holiday cookie. Patrons should stay tuned for our recaps of the other two novellas, because those will be coming soon! Happy Holidays!  Bonus Content:  Our Christmases: David makes eggnog by hand, Melody is a crazy person when it comes to cards and has opinions about when it's appropriate to start your Christmasing. Erin waxes more philosophic about how her story is a time travel novella. Hear all about the best way to survive the cold; it involves shared nakedness, sleeping bags, and Fox Moulder's infinite wisdom. We give you a pro-tip about watching the movie Atonement. Hear all about Melody's strategy at events with passed appetizers. And Melody continuously shuts Erin the hell down. Patreon Shout Out: Mary F., you are one of the many descendents of the Hydra. Like all quote, unquote villains of history, the hydra’s story was told by the victor and omitted the hydra’s many wonderful qualities. As a water-dweller, the hydra took many of her characteristics from her surroundings. She was principled, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t adapt to a change in the flow. She was highly emotionally intelligent and an empath, which is something you’ve channeled in your existence; so deep was her emotional intuition that she often needed time away in her cave to recharge after interactions with others. More than anything, though, was her power of persistence and regeneration, which have both suited you well in your life. When knocked down, you’re not one to stay down. What many don’t know is those powers didn’t come from her poisonous blood or breath; no those are just a mark of her species. Her powers of regeneration and persistence came from her loyal, abiding, and protective heart. She could not leave those she loved to suffer alone, so she would reinvent herself at any attack to ensure their safety and happiness. You, Mary, you have that same deep well of vigor and rejuvenation and you use them well.Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! We finish up our discussion of Match Me If You Can by Susan Elizabeth Phillips!  Bonus Content: Alaskan earthquakes, month-long Christmas for very pregnant Melody, more stories of Rooster the Dog, our demand for discernible lady orgasms and maybe some goddamned foreplay, Melody is almost defeated but then goes ape-shit over depictions of disordered eating, gaslighting, that time Erin got 3 pairs of FUBU jeans because her mom was MAKING A STATEMENT, and so much more! Self-Love Recommendations:  Erin: earthquake putty. Do it! Do it today! Get it done!  Melody: don't fucking take it anymore. If you feel like you need to be polite and always brush things off, know that you don't. Own your outrage and express it in any healthy form that appropriate for the setting, x3. Your default will usually be less than what is appropriate for any setting.  Special thanks to Jenn at Post Pouring Company for the amazing Keep Being a Bad Ass candle! It got Melody through the editing she had to redo last-minute. Social Media: @postpourco  Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/PostPourCo Patreon Shout Out: Jenny N., you are a descendent of The Fates, the three sisters who use their prowessin the textile arts to tell the future of mortals. Like these three, you're talented with fabric, expressing yourself with piecework. You can take a collection of what other would call "nothing" and turn it into a gorgeous work of art that keeps people as warm as your personality, aura, and heart. In short, positively toasty. You've also taken your ancestor's cold talent for premonition and turned it on it's head by shaping the future of anyone who encounters you with your vast wisdom and bottomless empathy. You might untether people, but instead of cutting their life cords, you cut the leashes keeping them bound to their own sense of limits, insecurity, and to the voices in their heads telling them they can't. You're truly inspiring.Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey y'all! I feel like we haven't hated something for a MINUTE. Well, get stoked because we... didn't like this very much. We've got a hot mess heroine that was even too much for Melody and a douchenozzle hero who thinks he wants a wife, but is really looking for a personal assistant/status enhancer he can take to the bonezone. Will they see that they're perfect for each other? Probably. Will they be right? WHO KNOWS; THIS IS ONLY PART ONE.  Content Warning: clumsy and sometimes downright gross treatment of a transgender character, and illusions that Trump is the hero's actual hero throughout. This was published in 2005, though, so try to keep that in mind.  Bonus Content: Melody is wearing her Reindeer Mafia Onesie! Rooster is getting old. Erin divulges that on paper Melody would confuse and annoy her; thank goodness we know each other in person! Plus, all the snake imagery, misunderstanding of kundalini yoga, and imagined vaginal attacks you probably never knew you needed.  Lady Loves:  Erin: Holistic Tarot Agency Podcast. Co-hosted by an HB, it's all the witchy, tarot, giggly content that can make Erin's pagan heart soar. Also, they accept questions, so participate!  Melody: 1. Set some boundaries and be brutal in enforcing them. Your interpersonal relationships will thank you in the long run. And 2. Aromatherapy booties. They're hot! They're cold! They smell amazing! They will relax and delight you.  Indy podcast promo: americansexpodcast.com Check them out! Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Heyyyyyyyyy HB’s! Many of you have requested books from Sarah J. Maas’ series A Court of Thorns and Roses and we are here with book 1! Book two will follow after Melody’s maternity leave. We meet Feyre, a human girl who’s taken on the burden of providing for her fallen family, and Tamlin, a Faerie High Lord who needs to win her heart in order to break a curse and save the world. Book 1 is such a BEAUTIFUL introduction to this world, but it’s also super dense. We may have fudged some details here and there. We may have done things out of order. We might have taken some liberties in our tangents. Whatever, we loved it! Tamlin is a big sweet dummy and Rhysand is the sexiest king of the night in Everdom. Also, NECKBITES. Bonus Content: Erin hates Melody’s current TMI just because pregnancy is gross, GOAT joins us in the recording studio, Melody says District 11 when she meant 12, we talk about stupid titties and ungrateful sisters, Erin accidentally admits a food group you can’t expect, Erin has to endure an entire book with a GOLD MASQUERADE MASK shudders, and we discuss how we’d react to a Calamari Party with enchanted wine. Spoiler alert: Melody’s tits would be out. Lady Love Recs: Erin: the podcast My Dad Wrote a Porno had a wonderful bonus episode featuring Dame Emma Thompson AND IT WAS PURE MAGIC. She talks all about her theory on sex education with her daughter, her whips, and is generally just the Queen we all want to worship. Melody: you know that To Do list you might be neglecting? Is it mocking you? Are you lying awake at night? If so, bite the bullet and get stuff done! It feels so good to get those accomplished and cross them off the list, or remove the post-it from your to-do board. Patreon Shout-Outs: Katie T., you are a shining descendent of Cerberus, watchdog of the underworld. By nature, you're very kind and protective, shepherding those under your purview with great care. However, you have high standards for your loyalty and you're not afraid to dish out consequences to those who step out of line or abuse others. You have great respect for the arts, talent, and the beautiful in this world, so you've been known to show your soft underbelly when pampered by someone you trust. You also may only have one head, but you retained the cast amount of wisdom that Cerberus packed into each of his 3 brains, so your capacity for knowledge AND empathy is a thing to behold. This episode is sponsored by Bubbles and Books. The code BOSOM20 will get 20% off your first month! Get relaxing, everyone! Website: bubblesandbooks.com Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night": https://www.facebook.com/groups/bubblesandbooks/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bubbles_books_box/ Pintrest: https://pinterest.com/bubblesandbooks/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/soakedromance Mentioned in this episode: Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

It’s the mostly tingly time of the year... That’s right everyone, we read CHUCK TINGLE! In this episode, we recap Seduced by Dr. Bigfoot, Attorney at Large and Space Raptor Butt Invasion. Can Mark handle his attraction to a mythical creature who’s a lawyer AND a doctor? Will Lance have to spend have to spend his entire time on the planet Zorbus alone, or will he be able to warm up the cold-blooded creature he meets there? Come with us on these journeys to self-discovery, new sexual horizons, and all the semen descriptions you might be able to handle. THEN, if you’re a patron, you get to hear us tell each other about two bonus stories! And, I always feel silly saying this because everything we do is explicit, but this one is EXPLICIT. The text demands and we deliver. Bonus Content: THE WINNER OF THE BUBBLES AND BOOKS GIVEAWAY is Jennifer Sumner! Congrats, Jennifer!  Melody tells everyone about officiating her friend's wedding, dancing her face off, and staying up until 3am like a kid... and the aftermath. We also get into the murky story of national treasure Dr. Chuck Tingle, Banksy of Erotica, why something is exponentially funnier if you aggressively include their professions in the description, the merits and demerits of sex against the window of the 72nd floor, and good goddess we hope all the descriptions of things being gay aren’t meant to be funny in a bad way. It feels too pure to be bad! It brings too much joy! And *Bing Boong Bong* Mythical Creature Safe Sex with Melody and Logistics with Erin. Lady Love Recs: Melody: Try a new fun thing called “Breakfast in Bath.” It’s far superior to Breakfast in Bed because you won’t drop crumbs in your sheets, you get all the bathtime relaxation you want, you start the day exfoliated, and it’s generally amazing. Erin is HORRIFIED, but we have very different bathtime strategies and outlooks. Erin: ERIN NEEDS TO GET SOMETHING OFF HER CHEST. Forever ago, she rec’d a Bare Minerals lipstick that’s made with cocoa powder and NOBODY DID A GODDAMNED THING. Now there’s apparently a “cult lipstick” that Melody rec’d WAY LATER and it’s been quietly “grinding [her] gears.” Wait no, her Lady Love is an episode of Busy Tonight with Busy Philipps. On the episode with Emily Ratajkowski where they do a bit about the weirdest things women have ever found in their bras that had her DYING with laughter. Patreon Shout-Outs: Brandon S., you are a rare unicorn-centaur hybrid. Your unicorn lineage gives you the nobility, purity of heart, and sweetness of temperament which makes others crave our presence and respect. And your centaur side gives you wisdom and positivity in pursuits of both the mind and of the flesh. Regardless of your methods, you have an innate ability to make anyone feel wonderful about themselves and life in general This episode is sponsored by Bubbles and Books. The code BOSOM20 will get 20% off your first month! Get relaxing, everyone! Website: bubblesandbooks.com Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night": https://www.facebook.com/groups/bubblesandbooks/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bubbles_books_box/ Pintrest: https://pinterest.com/bubblesandbooks/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/soakedromance  Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey HB's! This week on Heaving Bosoms we're finishing up our coverage of The Highlander Takes a Bride by Lynsay Sands! Are you on pins and needles about how he stealths her for the second time? Do you want to know who's trying to kill Saidh? Are you super invested in #justiceforFenella, #justiceforMilly, or Melody's new addition #personhoodforMilly? WE HOPE SO. But, spoiler alert: you're only gonna get the first couple. Our hashtags sadly didn't trend in time for poor Fenella or Milly. But mostly Fenella.  Bonus Content: the Pastafarian Ministry and their successes, Melody's feel good vibes about her officiant dress in the cult, *Bing, Boong, Bong* Murder Times with Erin and Capital L Ladies with Melody, and a new turn of phrase, "did you crickets him?" That's right, we present a new verb: "to crickets." IT'S GIVEAWAY WEEK! Bubbles and Books is offering a free monthly box to the lucky winner of our Heaving Bosoms Giveaway! Visit www.bubblesandbooks.com/bosoms to enter!!  Lady Loves:  Melody - Be okay with your well-reasoned choices, even if there's a lot of societal pressure saying that your decisions are antithetical to some role or status. Mel misses Ember, but she's also RELISHING the extra time she has while he's across the world being immersed in Mandarin and spending quality time with family.  Erin - SOUP. That's right. One word. SOUP. It's soup and stew season and we loves it. We'll post recipes this week!  Patreon Shout Out: Aasha M., you are a Greek Muse, a goddess of literature, science, the arts, and, in your case, so much more. You are the embodiment of inspiration, not just because of your positivity and supportiveness, but also because you lead by example. Whether is a career accomplishment, a creative flair, or the way you overcome hardship, those around you can learn a huge amount if they pay attention. While you're not boastful, you're also not stingy with the details of your process, so anyone can improve themselves just by being a member of your Greek choir, or at the very least, positioning themselves in your close orbit. And it should to without saying that your taste is impeccable, but I'll say it: you have impeccable taste. This episode is sponsored by Bubbles and Books. The code BOSOM20 will get 20% off your first month! Get relaxing, everyone! Website: bubblesandbooks.com Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night": https://www.facebook.com/groups/bubblesandbooks/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bubbles_books_box/ Pintrest: https://pinterest.com/bubblesandbooks/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/soakedromanceMentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Happy Monday, HB’s! This week we’re heading back in our fiction time machine to HIGHLANDER TIMES with The Highlander Takes a Bride by Lynsay Sands. Melody really loved this reading/listening experience. Erin would describe it as two sociopaths falling in love. If you like a Scottish Brogue combined with red hot sexy times, some murder, some intrigue, a whodunit, and a TRADITIONAL HIGHLANDER FINGERBANGING, then this book is for you! Bonus Content: #justiceforFenella, #justiceforMilly, *Bing Boong Bong* Murder Times with Erin, our thoughts on communication within relationships and/or life, many talks about “duckies,” and Mel speaking about her first time with the phrase “I knew a lot about sex, but I didn’t know how to enact the mechanics.”   Lady Love Recs: Erin: People in the cult have started a weekly AMA thread called Ask A Badass because there are SO MANY BADASSES with cool jobs and interests in the cult! It’s amazing. Join and ask questions! Melody: Follow the artists Karen Hallion and Brett Weldele on all the socials. They’re awesome! Patreon Shout-Outs: Jennifer S., you are the Hermes of Smut and Embracing your weird. Your particular wheelhouse is when something seems questionable on the surface, but will bring hours of joy, self-reflection, and giggles. You are clever, mischievous, and, most of all, heartfelt in your pursuits and relationships. Just like Hermes was a god with varying and vast responsibilities under his umbrella, your beneficence knows few bounds. What more can I say about the person who brought Grace Goodwin into our lives? You’re truly a treasure. Alie S., you are a modern day acolyte of Artemis. You appreciate the forests and hills she governed and you’re a lover of animals, but you also apply her principles to your modern-day interests. You come to your pursuits with an excitement akin to wild abandon, and you’re always on the hunt for your next passion project. Meanwhile, the purity of focus you apply to your loved ones and the protective instincts you cultivate with children and those less fortunate than you would make your virginal, bow-carrying goddess proud. And just like the moon that Artemis loved, you have the ability to cast a soft, comforting glow on even the darkest situation.   This episode is sponsored by Bubbles and Books. The code BOSOM20 will get 20% off your first month! Get relaxing, everyone! Website: bubblesandbooks.com Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night": https://www.facebook.com/groups/bubblesandbooks/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bubbles_books_box/ Pintrest: https://pinterest.com/bubblesandbooks/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/soakedromanceMentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Happy Halloween Week, HB's! This week we're coming at you with a sexy, spooky special: Mating the Huntress by Talia Hibbert. We've got a devoted Werewolf who just wants to impress his mate, and a bloodthirsty Huntress who's determined to prove her ability to slice and dice... her aforementioned mate. It's DELICIOUS!  Also, Talia, we're serious: did they, or did they not, eyeball that fingerbang?  Bonus Content:  *Bing Boong Bong* Culture Time with Erin and Melody, our thoughts on where you should and shouldn't commit a murder (psssst! Not at your house!), Erin's Blueberry Muffin Missile, the merits of going into a fight without underwear, more of Erin's thoughts on food in the bedroom, werewolf erections, tricksie witches, an Ember cameo, Dana Scully is Erin's Halloween Minion, and so much more!  Lady Love:  Melody - When you can, communicate via video instead of just print or audio. It's WONDERFUL.  Patreon Shout Out:  Megan, you are a Selkie, a shape-shifting protector who can seamlessly transition from culture to culture, place to place, with a quick shedding or redonning of your seal skin. Your gentle, protective instincts make you a natural mentor and valued friend, and your beauty shines from the inside out. Though you may be naturally introverted, your strong sense of loyalty allows you to thrive in large groups, just like a regular seal. And your bark, when employed, can change even the most recalcitrant among us.  Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

IT'S BEEN A YEAR!!!!!!! We're so excited! In this episode we go through some listener emails, do a couple of Melody's Kryptonite: Top 5 Lists, and generally talk romance, the podcast, the cult, and YOU! Thank you so much to all you listeners, all you patrons, and everyone who has made this past year so amazing for us!  Bonus Content: Top 5 Heroes of books read on the podcast, Top 5 fictional characters overall, romance as escape, therapy, and a reminder that your feelings and emotional landscape are valid and important, why Melody would be the worst (best?) Bachelorette ever, How the podcast has helped us this year, Funny listener stories, TONKU revisited, our top snacks, How Erin met David, advice for people who are scared of starting or releasing a new creative project, and SO MUCH MORE!  Patreon Shout Out: Christine D. you are a centaur from Chiron's line. While most centaurs are known for being ruled purely by their animal nature, Chiron the wise, teacher of Achilles, is where you get your lineage. Thus, you possess the best of both. You have the intuition of a healer and scholar, yet you're not afraid to partake in the pleasures this world has to offer. Your robust physiology makes you magnetic and your empathetic, quick-witted, herd-loving mind makes you a treasure your friends and family cherish.  Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hey y'all! Thanks for your patience and understanding! Here's the wrap-up of our convo about The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata. As Erin puts it, its the tale of two never-nudes who enter into a marriage of convenience, or, a slow burn with... very little burning?  Bonus content: Comic Con NYC, essential oils, Erin's engagement photos, our thoughts on who a guy is REALLY assaulting another dude for in "your name" (hint: it's never actually about you), the downside to Michael always thinking Melody is pretty, and new segments *BING BOONG BONG* Minions with Erin and Running Long Distances with Erin and Melody.  Self-Love Recommendations:  Erin: SPANX MADE JEANS. If you like hugs for your butt, spend the money. Also, Lifetime movies. If you've forgotten their glory, treat yourself!  Melody: Maybelline Super Stay Matte Lip. It's so good!    Patreon Shout Out: Mirandia, you are a maenad who has grown bored of Dionysus and has set off for the altar of Athena. While you have little care for the war strategy she governs, you bring the same amount of mirth and frivolity to the worship of wisdom and art that you did while dancing naked with your maenad sisters under falls of wine. You have an innate sense of good taste and joy that's only strengthened by your commitment to building a safe, wonderful environment for your babies to flourish.Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

This week, in part one, we cover The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata. It's a "slow burn" with a former personal assistant turned full-time graphic designer and the Canadian football star who wants her back in his employ.. or life? Will they get together after a scheme to commit marriage fraud together?  This is, indeed, a slow burn. Emphasis on slow? We... tried to love this novel. And it didn't quite work.  Bonus Content: Curly girl tricks, *bing, boong, bong* Antihistamines with Erin, and so much more!  Lady Loves:  Melody - while trying to commit to bullet journaling, Melody has tried to enact the idea that something doesn't have to be perfect or beautiful, just useful. Do something against your nature and don't punish yourself if yours doesn't look like the youtube artist's.  Erin - LOVE FALL if that's what you love. More than that, keep loving what you love without apology and without fear of being called "basic" or whatever else people throw your way. Fuck 'em. Mentioned in this episode:Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!