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Green Blooded Bastard
The Green Blooded Bastard podcasts primarily feature movie commentaries. While they do not cure cancer or offer profound insights into filmmaking, they may provide a touch of humor, and be warned; I swear a lot. In addition to the free weekly movie episodes, I occasionally post side podcasts on the main feed. These include a Star Trek-focused show titled The Bastard Boldly Goes, a Battlestar Galactica series called Fat Apollo is Life, a Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman commentary known as The Bastard V Lois & Clark, an ALF-themed podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf, and an Ash vs Evil Dead show named Ash vs Evil Dead vs The Bastard. Sometimes, I write bad poetry, create chaos art, and am generally emo.
Green Blooded Bastard - Buffy The Vampire Slayer
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Buffy The Vampire Slayer. A pretty fun movie and it sure is better than that shitty Transformers movie with Marky Mark FFS! Give it a watch son.
01:21:5728/05/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - The Butterfly Effect
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Butterfly Effect! This movie has a star ASSHAT KUSHNER, but it's also pretty good for being an average film, but there's not enough nudity for my refined taste!
01:49:3621/05/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Hostel
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Hostel. Shit's fucked up son!
01:30:3314/05/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Eraserhead
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Eraserhead. David fucking Lynch and a gd monster baby!
01:27:4707/05/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Timecrimes
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Timecrimes. In this movie, a dude is an unwitting time traveler who travels through time and mind fucks a dude, fist fucks a chick, and does time travel savage shit! Pretty solid film.
01:30:0830/04/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Working Girls
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Working Girls. A pretty good movie and it sure is better than that shitty Transformers movie with Marky Mark FFS! Give it a watch son.
01:31:2723/04/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Bram Stoker’s Dracula
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Bram Stoker’s Dracula. This movie is dope AF, and is a solid film.
02:02:0116/04/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Reign Of The Supermen
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Reign Of The Supermen. In this movie, Supermen do super things until Superman cums home to whip out his dick and save the day!
01:24:2409/04/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Sonic The Hedgehog
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Sonic The Hedgehog. This is a movie wherein a blue little shit runs fast and makes friends with Cyclops and Jim Carrey fist fucks!
01:33:5702/04/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022). This movie is semi-dope as hell and Leatherface is old, but will cut you up, son!
01:14:5026/03/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - The Death Of Superman
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Death Of Superman. In this movie, Superman must die because James Gunn hates him.
01:17:5919/03/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984). This movie is lit af son! get them knives out!
01:30:0812/03/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Town that Dreaded Sundown (2014). This movie is dope af, and Sack Head will fuck you up again, son!
01:21:4305/03/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Wonder Woman
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Wonder Woman. In this movie, Wonder Woman gets to fight her literal Gods and metaphorical ones.
02:11:2926/02/2023
The Bastard V Lois & Clark - S01E21 (The House of Luthor)
This week is another most exciting chapter of pain; S01E21 (The House of Luthor).
47:1024/02/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Spiral
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Spiral. This movie is a somewhat reboot/ sequel/ prequel... aka more shit. This movie is a fucking waste of everyone's time and talent in it.
01:28:1419/02/2023
The Bastard V Lois & Clark - S01E20 (Barbarians at the Planet)
This week is another most exciting chapter of pain; S01E20 (Barbarians at the Planet).
46:4917/02/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Ocean’s Thirteen
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Ocean's Thirteen. This film is fucking dope Donkey Kong+ 1 cock, if you know what I'm saying, but with the baby godfather, if you really know what I'm saying!!
01:57:4512/02/2023
The Bastard V Lois & Clark - S01E19 (Fly Hard)
This week is another most exciting chapter of pain; S01E19 (Fly Hard).
46:2310/02/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - F9 (aka F9: The Fast Saga or Fast & Furious 9)
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches F9 (aka F9: The Fast Saga or Fast & Furious 9). They fly into outer space!
02:12:2405/02/2023
The Bastard V Lois & Clark - S01E18 (Vatman)
This week is another most exciting chapter of pain; S01E18 (Vatman).
47:0503/02/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - 10,000 B.C.
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches 10,000 B.C. In this movie, the dude with a big dick gets shot, stabbed, and punched, and his honey-hole lady friend gets abducted! It's much insanity watching this movie sober, so don't risk it!
01:38:4429/01/2023
The Bastard V Lois & Clark - S01E17 (The Rival)
This week is another most exciting chapter of pain; S01E17 (The Rival).
46:3127/01/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Murder by Natural Causes
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Murder by Natural Causes. In this movie, the dude with a big dick gets shot, stabbed, and punched, and his honey-hole lady friend is behind it all!
01:55:4922/01/2023
The Bastard V Lois & Clark - S01E16 (The Founding)
This week is another most exciting chapter of pain; S01E16 (The Founding).
46:5520/01/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Snake Eyes
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Snake Eyes. In this film, Snake Eyes has to kick some Cobra ass in Atlantic City!
01:35:0615/01/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - The Town that Dreaded Sundown (1977)
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Town that Dreaded Sundown (1977). This movie is dope af, and Sack Head will fuck you up, son!
01:28:2413/01/2023
The Bastard V Lois & Clark - S01E15 (Ides of Metropolis)
This week is another most exciting chapter of pain; S01E15 (Ides of Metropolis).
46:4713/01/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets Of Dumbledore
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets Of Dumbledore. This movie is about an angry fucker trying to steal an election with dead animals and crazy Ezra Millers! Better than the last one, but still a shit show.
02:14:2708/01/2023
The Bastard V Lois & Clark - S01E14 (Illusions of Grandeur)
This week is another most exciting chapter of pain; S01E14 (Illusions of Grandeur).
46:2206/01/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Candyman (2021)
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Candyman (2021). This movie is pretty dope, too, and could have been a little better, but still a solid film. Be his victim!?
01:27:2401/01/2023
The Bastard V Lois & Clark - S01E13 (Witness)
This week is another most exciting chapter of pain; S01E13 (Witness).
45:5830/12/2022
Green Blooded Bastard - The Avengers
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Avengers. This movie is the movie that made 1000 fanboys cum in their pants. Shit gets real.
02:16:0525/12/2022
The Bastard V Lois & Clark - S01E12 (All Shook Up)
This week is another most exciting chapter of pain; S01E12 (All Shook Up).
47:0123/12/2022
Green Blooded Bastard - Kung Fury
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Kung Fury. This movie is like if baby Jesus got a blow job from a kung fu master and shit this movie out.
31:3918/12/2022
The Bastard V Lois & Clark - S01E11 (Honeymoon in Metropolis)
This week is another exciting chapter of pain; S01E11 (Honeymoon in Metropolis).
47:0216/12/2022
Green Blooded Bastard - Old
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Old. Old is about beaches and magnets fist fucking us in the only way they know how... Old!
01:42:3011/12/2022
The Bastard V Lois & Clark - S01E10 (Pheromone, My Lovely)
This week is another exciting chapter of pain; S01E10 (Pheromone, My Lovely).
47:1009/12/2022
Green Blooded Bastard - The Butterfly Effect 2
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Butterfly Effect 2! This movie doesn't star ASSHAT KUSHNER, so that's a bonus, but it's also pretty good for being a shitty sequel to an average film, but there's not enough nudity for my refined taste!
01:22:1004/12/2022
The Bastard V Lois & Clark - S01E09 (The Man of Steel Bars)
This week is another exciting chapter of pain; S01E09 (The Man of Steel Bars).
47:0402/12/2022
Green Blooded Bastard - The Ruins
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Ruins. Some chumps go looking for other chumps in an old Mexican(possibly) temple, and some killer weeds are trying to kill people or some shit!?
01:25:5627/11/2022
The Bastard V Lois & Clark - S01E08 (The Green, Green Glow of Home)
This week is another exciting chapter of pain; S01E08 (The Green, Green Glow of Home).
46:4425/11/2022
Green Blooded Bastard - Back to the Future Part 3
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Back to the Future Part 3! Time Travel Fun Time yet again, again.
01:51:4820/11/2022
The Bastard V Lois & Clark - S01E07 (Smart Kids)
This week is another exciting chapter of pain; S01E07 (Smart Kids).
46:5318/11/2022
Green Blooded Bastard - Captain America: The First Avenger
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Captain America: The First Avenger. In this movie, Captain America whips his dick out and beats Tommy Lee Jones in the face with it, so that's a thing. Also, fuck nazis and fuck RED SKULL!
01:55:4613/11/2022
The Bastard V Lois & Clark - S01E06 (I've Got Crush on You)
This week is another exciting chapter of pain; S01E06 (I've Got Crush on You)!
47:1111/11/2022
Green Blooded Bastard - Thor
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Thor. In this movie, Thor tries to ride a large dog and has a sexy time with Natalie Portman. Plus, there is a magic hammer and a killer robot thing!
01:48:4406/11/2022
The Bastard V Lois & Clark - S01E05 (Requiem for a Superhero)
This week is another exciting chapter of pain; S01E05 (Requiem for a Superhero)!
45:0304/11/2022
Green Blooded Bastard - Eraser
The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Eraser. This is a perfectly excellent generic action film that ERASES YOU! Haha, get it?!
01:50:2830/10/2022
The Bastard V Lois & Clark - S01E04 (I'm Looking Through You)
This week is another exciting chapter of pain; The Bastard V Lois & Clark - S01E04 (I'm Looking Through You)!
47:1028/10/2022