As we start a new year - it is a good time to ask the question -What would it feel like to have the best year ever and what do you need to do to make that happen?If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

A dike or levee is what keeps water back from flooding people's land and homes. In this episode Vern shares about the flooding in his home town - and how this flood is a powerful example that any dike (or porn recovery plan) is only as strong as its weakest links.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Strong emotions, especially negative ones, are triggers for acting out with porn. If you are an avid sports fan, how do you deal with the negative emotions and desire to look at porn when your favorite team loses! Yes that may sounds silly but you real sports fans (like me) know it is a very real thing!If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Porn serves a certain purpose in our life - that's why we hire it! In this episode Vern looks at why we use (or employ) porn and how we can find a better way to get these needs met.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

In this episode Vern likens our porn urges to a ticking stopwatch. What do we do when the stopwatch starts ticking? Better yet, is there a way to reset our ticking clock without relapsing!If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Thee is a lot of talk in recovery circles about having an "accountability buddy" In this episode Vern talks about the lousy form of this (cop accountability) and proposes a better type of accountability relationship that is a lot more effective over time.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

This episode continues from last episode and explores some further tools to get couples back on track who have experienced the crash of a porn discovery. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

For those who have had porn mess up their marriage relationship, how can we begin to restore trust. In this episode Vern gives some ideas on how this can begin to happen and some tools to help us toward this goal.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Why is it so hard to let go of porn even though we know it only harms us? That vexing question is the one many of us have asked and one Vern explore today.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

In this episode Vern explores a simple but effective tool called "pre-commitments" that will keep you from having to exercise willpower over and over again - a willpower that eventually cracks.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

This episode has nothing to do with recovery - but about the shared NFL passion between Vern and a couple of other recovery coach friends. None of them know what they are talking about but they are passionate about it nontheless!If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Living life in recovery is about dealing with two magnets. The magnet behind you that is seeking to pull you back into old behaviors and the possibility of a new magnet in front of you that pulls you forward into a better life. The relative strength of these two magnets will determine the direction you move in your recovery.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

It is alway interesting to run into guys who "used" to be in porn recovery groups. When you ask them the question "How You Been?" you get some interesting answers. In this episode we explore some of those responses (and what they may signify)If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

What does long term recovery look like? Matt Dobscheutz join Vern Tompke as they explore this question togethrIf you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.careIf you want to connect with Matt Dobscheutz you can connect with him at his website https://recoveredman.com

Continuing on from the last podcast, Vern in this episode explores, Vern explores 9 different types of childhood experiences, and explains how each scenario often leaves that type of child susceptible to certain key emotional triggers that activate their inner child.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Do we have an inner child - and if do we need to learn to soothe it or just give it a smack!If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

How long will it take me to get over my embedded porn habit. In this episode Vern explores that question and gives some hope (as well as a some realism) in this recovery journey.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

You've heard the jokes - you might be a redneck if... Here's a question - you might be an emotional Neanderthal if... If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

If you have been listening to the previous couple podcasts you know how much Vern has been impacted by the writings of Andrew Bauman. In this episode we actually get to interview the man! Andrew is the author of a number of books including - the Pyschology of Porn and the Sexually Healthy Man - they can be purchased on AmazonIf you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

PSR stands for Pornographic Style of Relating. Vern Explores this provocative concept based on the writings of Andrew Bauman.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

What does it mean to be sexually healthy vs. being unhealthy? Join Vern as he walks through a concept he learned from Andrew Bauman's book of the same title. To see this talk in a diagram go to the following link....https://andrewjbauman.com/what-is-a-sexually-healthy-man/If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Vern recently did a crazy thing on the freeway he now regrets (after paying a big fine) Lots of things we do seem like a good idea at the time but don't stand the test of a sober second thought. If nothing else this podcast will teach you what not to do ...If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

What type of man does not look at porn? Do you know any of them? Do you want to be that kind of man. In this episode Vern explores the idea of growing into this kind of man.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Can we look at porn and remain unchanged? To say it another way - does porn make me a dick?If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

We all need hope on the journey. As the year comes to a close - Vern explores in greater detail how we can all hold onto hope.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Hide and Seek is one of the earliest games we learned as a child. It is unfortunately one of the oldest games we have used to remain hidden in our struggles. In this episode Vern looks at our propensity to run and hide.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Stop the steal these days has a particular political meaning to a certain group of people, but in your life how has porn stolen from you? In this episode Vern talks about how to regain and reclaim what has been stolen from you.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

In this episode Vern explores some of those childish ways of thinking that we need to grow out of if we are going to grow up before we grow old!If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

This podcast is based on a summary of a lesson found in Vern's Finding Traction Course. If we are going to be successful in porn recovery we will need to deal with the challenge of technology. In this episode Vern gives some ideas how to do that.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Do you ever find yourself thinking that "when this happens then I will do this or that" In this episode Vern is joined by David (his Iowan guest) and they explore how this way of thinking doesn't help us in the long run.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

We are all passionate about many things including politics. I have found out in working with many guys, however, is that we often use distractions (including politics) as a form of distraction to keep us focusing on what is really important. However you vote, you will find this temptation one you need to be aware of!If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Is it possible to find a way back to healing when you're sexual behaviors have so hurt your wife? In this episode Verns introduces Clinton and Charity Munoz who have both come through their own marriage difficulties and work with couples who have experienced similar hurts.If you want to contact Clinton and Charity you can do so athttps://restored2more.com/If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

It's hard to live in this world without getting triggered one way or another. The key is to prepare for the next time you are triggered. In this episode Vern talks about how to deal with your next trigger...If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

It is not uncommon for even motivated guys to have a number of "false starts" when it comes to getting out of the starting blocks. In this episode Vern explores what is necessary to get off to a good start in porn recovery...If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

What is the biggest lie you will need to confront if you are to distance yourself from your porn behaviors... take a listenIf you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

To get started down the road to recovery requires courage at a number of levels. In this episode Vern talks about what will be necessary to "grow a pair" when it comes to moving toward the life and relationships we desire for ourself.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Making a commitment to do anything - especially recovering from porn requires us to look at both sides of commitment - in this episode Vern explores that concept...If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Why do I keep doing the same things over and over? When I look back it is necessary to see the common cyclical steps of my behavior if I am going to be able to reverse engineer this cycle toward a different outcome.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

For years I believed that I would get better when this thing or that thing happened first. In this episode I outline 5 myths that I believed that were simply magical thinking. These myths don't serve us and in fact keep us stuck in our porn behaviors.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

What happens when you spin and top and it loses it's momentum - it gets wobbly first! In this episode we talk about that "wobbly" feeling when it comes to porn and how we can overcome this version of "whiteknuckling".If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

I love the Orphan X novel series by Gregg Hurwitz. It is about a hit man who goes straight and how he uses his skills to help people. The series also has a number of great quotes that have been an inspiration to me on my recovery journey. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Ever peed on an electric fence? I have. (remember I grew up on a farm) In this episode we give a glimpse of one of the video lessons in the Finding Traction Video course. It explores this question why do I do what I know will cause me harm.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

The main metaphor I use for recovery is that of driving on a slippery road. We need the right tires to maintain traction on the road. In this podcast I explore how that explains how many of us need studded snow tires!!If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

The matrix movie was all about choosing between living in an unreal fantasy world or dealing with the reality of real life. In this episode I take a clip from the Finding Traction and talk about the process of dealing with denial and deception that keep us locked in old ways of thinking.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care