Do we need to see ourself or call ourself a sex addict (or porn addict) if we are going to find recovery? In this episode Vern approaches some of the ways we see or define ourselfs and pushes back on some of the rigidity that certain approaches employ in helping the porn struggler.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Porn recovery is a marathon not a sprint - and if you are going to run the marathon you are going to need lots of hope! In this episode Vern invites his fellow recovery coach Matt Dobscheutz to talk about holding onto hope for the long haulIf you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.careIf you want to connect with Matt D. You can hear him on his podcast "Porn Free Radio" or check him out on his websitehttps://www.recoveredman.com

This week we interview two young men, Cody and Mack, who are coming out of their 20's, are looking back at the struggles they had, and sharing how they have managed to push "Play" on restarting their growth and development as young men.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

If you are nearing the end of high school, or in your 20's (or know someone who is) this podcast is for you? There is a massive change that is happening with young people that is causing an entire generation of men to sleep walk through their late teens and 20's. This podcast explores how to push the play on your life (rather than living an entire decade on pause).If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

In poker, a tell is how to read someone as to what cards they are holding. Is there a way to spot our tell that we are leaving a place of safety and moving toward acting out?Using the metaphor of a stopwatch, in this episode Vern explores how to become self aware that we have been sexually triggered and need to take immediate corrective action or our "ticking clock" will inevitably lead us back down the porn rabbit hole.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

It is no surprise that self care is often the first thing to go when we habitually engage in porn behaviors. There is no more important self care activity you can practise than... (well you will need to listen to the podcast!)If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

How is watching porn similar to consuming white sugar? On this episode Vern (who certainly isn't known for healthy eating) explores the interesting parallels between the effects of porn and sugar!If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

It is quite common for Vern to hear from a guy who emails him with a frantic - "I need help NOW" regarding their porn struggle. Yet a funny thing happens. Vern replies to the email and hears nothing back - apparently the emergency has passed. In this episode Vern explores a number of ways that people "false start" their recovery from problematic porn use.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Most everything we want in life comes with a cost. The same holds true of recovery. In this episode Vern explores some of the ways that recovery will invoice you - invoices worth paying!If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Is it possible to speed up your recovery? In this episode Vern explores some of the ways you can accelerate your recovery (or at least keep it on track!)If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

How long will my porn recovery take. Well it depends. In this episode Vern explores some of the way that you can actually slow down your recovery -- causing it to take much longer than it needs to!If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

These days there is a lot of talk about AI and Chat GPT - Vern thought it would be fun to ask Chat GPT what it thought about the effects of porn. The results may surprise you!If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

All relapses are not the same. In fact there are two different types of relapses If you are going to be successful in your recovery you need to understand the two different ways you get set up for relapse and how each scenario requires a different preventative plan.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Have you heard about the 20 second rule? This fascinating insight I picked up can play a huge role in increasing the chances of you doing a desired behavior and decreasing the chances of you avoiding an undesired behavior (like porn) Check it out...If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

An important first step in porn recovery is learing to engineer in your environment to give you better chances of success in your movement away from porn behaviors. In part 2 we will teach you this proccess by addiction - adding things.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

An important first step in porn recovery is learing to engineer in your environment to give you better chances of success in your movement away from porn behaviors. In part 1 we will teach you this process by subtraction - removing things.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

One of the most important tools that gave me momentum towards a recovery tipping point is a powerful device called positive and negative reminders. Check it out - it's hardcore (for the hardcore - and the seriously committed)If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

It is no surpise that most people look at porn on their smart phones (or is it a dumb phone!) In this episode Vern gives specific advice for how he has turned his IPhone into an ally not an enemy. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

I'm not a big New Year's resolution guy but it can be helpful at the begining of a new season (like the start of a new year) to look ahead. Let this episode provide you the motivation to move forward intentionally rather than just continuing to stumble in the dark.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

You may have heard of the porn superhighway - in other getting on the freeway of porn and wondering how to get off. This this episode Vern is joined by his friend John Fort (from Be Broken Ministries) as they discuss porn offramps.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Holidays can be tough because they throw us off our normal routine and give us all sorts of unplanned and free time. In this episode Vern talks about how to set yourself up for sucess for any coming holiday - in any given year!If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Rolos are those great individual caramel filled candies you may have tried. In this episode Vern talks about 3 different insights around recovery - a soccer coach that inspired him, an idea he calls "calculated freedom" and a challenging view on the "selfishness" of porn.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

In the previous episode - Vern (and Jeff) talked about some of the connections between the martial art of Jujitsu and porn recovery. In this podcast Vern continues to pull on what a difference Win/Loss vs Win/Learn has to do with how we deal and learn from our setbacks.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Vern's friend and pastor Jeff is somebody who is heavily involved in the martial art of Jujitsu. In this episode Vern talks with Jeff about how some of the insights he learned from this martial art can be applied to porn recoveryIf you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Do you notice how you often cycle through the same behaviours over and over without thinking about them? In this episode Vern takes the idea of an addiction cycle and applies it to the metaphor of a ticking stop watch. Getting a better idea of how this cycle works for you can lead to being more effective in early intervention - before it's too late (and you don't want to stop!)If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Many of us get discouraged along the way without our efforts to eliminate porn from our lives. One of the temptations we will face in this discouragement is to make a truce with porn - perhaps I can limit it or create safe acceptable boundaries to continue using it. In this episode Vern shows why this is not only self defeating but a dangerous line of thinking...If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Generally it is good to be an optimist rather than a pessimist. After all who wants to be an Eeyore when you can be a Tigger right? But when it comes to recovery - optimism alone is not a workable strategy to effect true change in your life...If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

There are lot of shows about bad toxic girlfriends and how they continue to wreak havoc on our lives. Using this word picture, Vern explores how and why we continue to allow this toxic relationship to continue when what we really need is a clean break!If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Of course we are all special and unique - after all isn't that what our mothers told us? But when it comes to recovery - there are actually some common stepping stones that each of us will need to take. In this episode Vern explores some of those common steps and stages we will need to traverse.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

What is the one rule that I tell every new guy starting out with recovery - the one rule that will set you on the right path like no other - listen to find out!If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

One of the most confusing parts of recovery is that you can at times find yourself nostalgic or "missing porn". In this episode Vern explains that mystifying reality - especially when porn has brought so much pain and regret to you!If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Most of us probably don't want to return to being six years old again but in this episode Vern explores some of the things that our six year old self could actually teach us some things when it comes to recovery!If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

We may have heard the advice that it is not good to go shopping without a list - why - because we will probably come home with some things (and a bigger bill) than we intended. In this episode Vern explores that advice as it relates to porn recovery.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Last episode Vern explored the topic of Joy and how it can be so elusive. Today Vern gives practical advice to how to practically invite joy back into your life!If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

If recovery is about moving towards a better life - one of those things is the return of Joy. In this episode Vern explores a classic book by Archibald Hard "Thrilled to Death" and explains how our recovery can teach us to relate properly to the concept of JoyIf you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

I get inspiried by lots of things - recently when i was in a local high school teaching I saw an Indigneous Wheel that represented what a healthy and whole life should look like - i thought it had great applications to our recovery journey. Take a listen.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

How does a couple restore their sense of closeness and teamwork - even after a disclosure (or discovery) of the presence of porn. In this episdoe Vern explores how to find a way from being Adversaries to being Allies in this trying time!If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

In the hurt and pain that usually goes with the discovery of a husband's porn use - it is common for a wife to use an ultimatum to try to force change. At one level it makes sense but it can also have unintended consequences. In this episode Vern explores that question - when is an ultimatum helpful and when isn't it?If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Recovery is about much more than avoiding triggers. In fact if that is your sole focus, it seems that more and more triggers appear around you. In this episode Vern outlines a tool called reframing which can change our perspective from seeing everything as a threat to be avoided.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

In renovation shows it is a popular idea to tear out walls and create an open concept floor plan. In this episdoe Vern describes how our compartmentalization (separate rooms) has worked against us in our desire to create a wholistic life of integrity. Today - tear down those walls!If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

How do you know you are making headway in recovery? In this episode Vern explores various ways to determine if you are making progress (beyond just clean time)If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

There is an AA saying - "don't go into your head without adult supervision". In this episode Vern talks about some of our best thinking which actually works against our desire to be free from porn.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

When Will Smith slapped Chris Rock in the face at the Oscars everybody freaked out. Makes sense. But when do you do when you see red? What happens when you have a strong flush of emotions that seek to derail your recovery? In this episode Vern talks what we can learn from the slap heard around the world?If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

What would a professional sex therapist have to say to guys in porn recovery? Monica Cook is a sex therapist from Sydney Australia and in this episode we explore the topic of healthy sexuality and porn.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

This episode is a thumbnail sketch of the lesson "Saying goodbye to Porn" in the Finding Traction Video Course - if you want to watch a free sample of this course you can go to the website bandofbrothers.careIf you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Do you every feel like you are one of those white dry erase board that can't get clean? In this snapshot of one of the lessons in the Finding Traction Course, we talk about how we can return to a since of having a true pristine white board once again.If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

Sometimes courage is simply choosing to resist in the face of stiff odds. Using the example of the Ukranian resistance to the Russian invasion, Vern explores what it means to resist the incursion of porn into our life and asks the question - what's the alternative?If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care

When we engage in porn it supercharages our sexual drive. Over time we actually can end up messing up our sexual drive and arousal process. The messes up the possiblity of a good normal sexual relationship. This episode outlines how that works but ends with the good news is that when we distance ourselves from porn, we can actually begin to return to a normal biological rhthym and a normal sexual response pattern. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: [email protected] you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website:https://www.bandofbrothers.care