Note: For those who have kiddos within earshot, this is a podcast for adults. It contains themes and language that may not be suitable for children.     Hello! As we continue this series on our relationship with change, we will talk about what comes after inspiration strikes. The inspiration prompts us to imagine what it would be like to:    Be in a new place Have a new relationship Feel better   Then, we start to:    Daydream  Research Make plans   This second stage of change can be really exciting, but it can also be where fear, doubt, and worry begin to creep in. It also can require the most time and emotional resources. It’s where we start to see the road ahead of us and what might be needed to make our dreams a reality.   If you’re feeling stuck while exploring your relationship with change, journaling can be a useful tool. A plain pad of paper and pen will do, or you can use the Treasured Journal, which includes questions, prompts, and sentence stems to help you open up and express your thoughts. You can get the journal and its companion meditation guide at this link:   THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal   Thank you for listening. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share. I would love to hear from you! If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.    CONNECT WITH DANIELLE    Website: danielleireland.com  Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW  

Note: For those who have kiddos within earshot, this is a podcast for adults. It contains themes and language that may not be suitable for children.     Hello! With the seasons changing it’s the perfect time to revisit our four-part series, “Changing Our Relationship with Change.” For some of us, it seems nearly impossible to become comfortable with change. But, I assure you, it can be done. Well, maybe I should say that we can become MORE comfortable. We can learn to recognize when we’re in the middle of change; from there, we can name it and claim it.     In this first of the four parts, we’ll talk about what inspires change. It's usually one of two things:⁣ discomfort⁣ or⁣ desire⁣. ⁣ "I'm in pain, and I want out."⁣ "I'm frustrated, and I want to feel better."⁣ "I'm bored, and I want to feel inspired."⁣ Knowing the catalyst for change is powerful and it can help us stay on track. ⁣It’s also important to be able to recognize when we’re ready for change. At this point, there are three things that we might feel, say, or do:   We feel:  Frustrated, tired, anxious We say:  “Ugh! This has to stop. This sucks!” We do:  Hit snooze, avoid, procrastinate   Join me for the next four weeks as we explore our relationship with change, and work toward learning to love it.    If you’re feeling stuck along the way, journaling is a useful tool. A plain pad of paper and pen will do, or you can use the Treasured Journal, which includes questions, prompts, and sentence stems to help you open up and express your thoughts. You can get the journal and its companion meditation guide at this link:   THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal   Thank you for listening. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share. I would love to hear from you! If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.    CONNECT WITH DANIELLE    Website: danielleireland.com  Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW  

Most of us look long and hard for reasons to avoid therapy. And, granted, therapy is not the only modality for emotional healing. Talking with friends and exercise and travel and dozens of other things can help the healing process. But, only therapy is therapy.    Ultimately, THINKING about starting therapy is way harder than ACTUALLY starting therapy and it’s because of these three myths. People tend to think that starting therapy means:   Something is wrong with me. (Not true.) I have failed. (Again, not true.) I have to know why I want it to start it. (No, you don’t.)   If you’ve been thinking about starting therapy, don’t wait until the walls are crashing down around you. Taking that first step is easier than you think. If starting therapy seems scary and disempowering, consider this—therapy can be whatever you want it to be.    Thank you for listening. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you might want to share. I would love to hear from you! If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.   You can get THE TREASURED JOURNAL and its companion meditation guide at this link - https://danielleireland.com/journal   CONNECT WITH DANIELLE Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW  

Jealousy is often seen as a negative emotion. And let’s be honest, it doesn’t feel great when we experience it. BUT, what does it look like when we approach our jealousy with a little compassionate curiosity? In my experience, jealousy is calling our attention to a deeper desire that’s hiding inside us.   Like every emotion, jealousy can be a great teacher. It can show us that there is something we want or something we want more of. Jealousy can also signal that we are ready for a change. Oftentimes, however, we can get stuck on our way to clarity. Comparison, criticism, and complaining are common traps.    If you’re feeling stuck, this episode is a good companion to our Listener’s Favorite episode on Desire (Ep 81), which we featured just a few weeks back. Journaling is another useful tool. A plain pad of paper and pen will do or you can use the Treasured Journal, which includes questions, prompts, and sentence stems that will help you open up and get your thoughts flowing. You can get the journal and its companion meditation guide at this link:   THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal   Thank you for listening. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share. I would love to hear from you! If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.    CONNECT WITH DANIELLE    Website: danielleireland.com  Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

Our ongoing series, Journal Your Way to Clarity, is designed to help you better understand how your life is shaped by your career, relationships, love, sex, money, family, and purpose. Today, we are discussing money. They say that money makes the world go round because it’s absolutely necessary to feed and clothe and house ourselves and our loved ones. But within that purely transactional necessity lies another truth: money carries with it a tremendous amount of emotional weight. Think about a $10 bill. It holds the same buying power for everyone, but not everyone values that $10 in the same way. Our upbringing and our experiences with money shape our perspective and perception of it’s worth. Sometimes it’s difficult to know whether we’re considering the $10 as dollars and cents, or if we are reacting to what that $10 represents for us. So it’s useful to examine how money influences our moods and behavior, our relationships, and even our own sense of self. Toward the end of the episode, I invite you to participate in some thought exercises that will help you focus in on how money makes you feel—both as a giver and a receiver. I encourage you to combine these exercises with journaling, especially if money is having an adverse effect on your well-being. For journaling, a plain pad of paper and pen will do. But, if you want a guided journaling experience, I encourage you to get The Treasured Journal, which includes questions, prompts, and sentence stems that will help you open up and get your thoughts flowing. You can get the journal and its companion meditation guide at this link: THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share. I would love to hear from you! And thank you for listening. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us. CONNECT WITH DANIELLE Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW  The “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.

My guest, Ashlyn Thompson, is the co-founder of Charlotte’s Hope Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to supporting, encouraging, and educating parents and caregivers of children facing difficult health challenges. Ashlyn, and co-founder Emily Whiting, have daughters with rare medical complexities. By sharing their stories, they hope to connect other parents and caregivers with valuable resources and the understanding that they are not alone. In short, they think of the foundation as providing a lighthouse in the storm. Our discussion covers a range of topics:   Understanding advocacy Managing white coat syndrome Turning pain into purpose Dealing with trauma Sitting with the pain Leading with love Defining and introducing hope Enjoying dark chocolate       Ashlyn and Emily created the Charlotte’s Hope Foundation to provide the type of support that was not available to them. As Ashlyn says, everyone knows someone. So, please, share this important discussion with others who could find value here. CONNECT WITH ASHLYN AND THE FOUNDATION   Website: Charlotte’s Hope Foundation  Podcast: Empowered by Hope   Book: She is Charlotte by Emily K. Whiting Facebook  Instagram       As always, thank you for listening. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.   THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal   CONNECT WITH DANIELLE    Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW  

This throwback episode from October 2019 features two of my favorite people on the planet, my dear friends Sarah Kleinknecht & Marie Demolein. Trust me when I tell you, these women are worth your time.  Sarah and Marie are living amazing lives. They both approach life in a way that honors the lessons of the past while building an intentional future. Their stories are full of risk and reward and challenge and magic. Sarah and Marie are truly inspiring. Based in Los Angeles, Sarah is a private personal chef, nutritionist, natural beauty expert, BIG laugher, hard worker, and dedicated friend. Marie makes her home in Sao Paulo, Brazil. She is a restaurant owner, mother of a young boy, skincare and beauty expert, and dedicated friend...Oh! and did I mention she speaks four languages?  As it is with good friends, our discussion shifts from serious conversation to raucous laughter and back again. Sarah and Marie share two of the funniest “don’t cut your own bangs” moments, but we cover more thoughtful topics as well:   Taking risks Being forced to rethink your entire life Asking for support… and accountability Regretting the road not taken Finding happiness where you are     Get ready to learn, laugh, and fall in love with Sarah and Marie. I enjoyed every second of this conversation, and I know you will, too. If you’d like to connect with Sarah, you can find her on Instagram @activepalate. Thank you for listening to the Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs podcast. As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.      THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal     CONNECT WITH DANIELLE  Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

In this throwback to February 2021, we are talking about desire and what your desire could be telling you. Desire is closely linked to pleasure. Think of it as an important step on the way to pleasure. It helps us understand what we really want and there is tremendous value in that. When I'm working with clients, I like to say that our desire is always calling us to reach for more. It is usually the step BEFORE the step. For example:⁣   We feel hungry before we reach for a snack We feel thirsty before we reach for water We feel DESIRE before we set a goal, make a plan, start to change Is your desire letting you know that you're ready for something more, something different?     In addition to understanding what you want, desire can drive the activation stage. It can inspire and move you when trying something new, which helps you get off on the right foot. Plus, desire can remind you of the why—the emotional why. A mission statement typically comes from the head, but the emotional why comes from the gut. And that is exactly what you need when things get hard.  Thank you for listening to the Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs podcast. As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.  THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal CONNECT WITH DANIELLE  Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

Pleasure is an essential part of what it is to be human and what it is to be alive. People who come to see me professionally are typically in pain. In this context, we need to understand that the absence of pain is not pleasure.  The absence of pain is a type of neutrality—and neutrality is not satisfying. What, then, is pleasure? Where and how do we find it? Asking yourself these questions and exploring this topic, first and foremost, requires that you feel safe. So, for the sake of this discussion, I’m assuming that you are not currently working through trauma or dealing with an abusive relationship. I’m assuming that you’ve cleared away a lot of clutter and you’re ready to allow for pleasure. You’re ready to shift out of neutral. As women and girls, we’re indoctrinated to be caregivers and nurturers. This runs counter to the idea of seeking pleasure. Our “managerial mind” spends so much time on life maintenance (for ourselves and for those around us) that we hardly have time to think about pleasure. But, by asking yourself what you want—and by asking the question over and over—you actually develop new neural pathways that make it easier to DO that thing.  To make room for pleasure and to make it a reality, we need to rewire our thoughts. So, let’s start there.  What do you really, really want? Okay, now do it.  Thank you for listening to the Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs podcast. As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us. THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal REFERENCES  Spare by Prince Harry The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté, MD with Daniel Maté Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey A Very Punchable Face by Colin Jost Betsy B. Murphy on Instagram, author of Anatomy of an Orgasm CONNECT WITH DANIELLE  Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW The “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.  

Talk about a throwback! From 2018, this is the first ever recorded episode of the Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs podcast. Not the first to air, but the first to be recorded.     My guest, David Dellen, is a Harley Davidson dealer, a big brother in the Big Brother Big Sister Program, and also MY HUSBAND. He is an incredible leader and entrepreneur with a lot of valuable experience to share.    I wish I could say that I asked him to be my first guest because of his experience and wisdom, but truthfully...it was because I was scared, insecure, and he said "YES." So, this conversation is the REAL beginning. You'll hear me make every possible mistake:  interrupting, clinking glasses, poor sound quality, poor use of the mic, etc. But you know, I LOVE this episode. I love this man, and I know you will, too. Welcome to the very beginning of my messy middle. THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal   CONNECT WITH DANIELLE Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

Our special series focusing on the seven life themes in The Treasured Journal continues with the second in a two-part discussion of relationships. This is a big topic that can include communication, boundaries, trauma, pleasure, needs identification, and more. But, here, I want to zero in on two specific concepts that I’ve found to be invaluable for myself and my clients—and I’m confident they will help you make the most of your journaling:   Relationships are like mirrors The relationship fear loop Working through relationship “stuff” can take many forms and journaling can be one of our most effective tools. That’s why I recommend it to almost everyone!  In the case of relationships, we’re able to learn a great deal about ourselves by examining how we feel about, how we treat, and how we respond to others.   If you’re new to the series, it’s not too late to catch up. I am devoting the first podcast episodes of this year to a guided discussion of career, relationships, love, sex, money, family, and purpose—the major themes from The Treasured Journal. The series is designed to expand your ability to understand the role and influence these themes occupy in your life.   It’s not essential that you use The Treasured Journal for this series of exercises—a plain pad of paper and pen will do. But, if you do use the journal, you can lean on the questions, prompts, and sentence stems that, along with these podcasts, will help you move past the blank page. You can get the journal and the companion meditation guide at this link:   THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal   Thank you for listening to the Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs podcast. As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.  CONNECT WITH DANIELLE  Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW The “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.

We continue with a special series of exercises that will be our focus over the coming weeks. With each podcast, I’ll examine one of the seven life themes in The Treasured Journal:  career, relationships, love, sex, money, family, and purpose.    Journaling is one of the most powerful tools we have for gaining clarity and understanding of ourselves, which in turn, helps us advocate for ourselves, create space when we need it, and engage in constructive conversations that otherwise might feel overwhelming.   This episode is the first of a two-part look at relationships. It’s where 90% of sessions start with my new clients. People want to talk about heartache, frustration, or anger with regard to their partner or someone else in their life—but ultimately, discussion of the relationship reveals work that needs to be done by the individual. And that’s okay; it’s a good place to start.    We want to be seen and heard and we want other people to be there for us, but we need clarity on what “being there” looks like. So, when journaling about relationships, start with the following prompts:    What do I really feel? What do I really want? How can I satisfy that for myself with some small action?   It’s not essential that you use The Treasured Journal for this series of exercises—a plain pad of paper and pen will do. But, if you do use the journal, you can lean on the questions, prompts, and sentence stems that, along with these podcasts, will help you move past the blank page and gain the type of clarity that comes from meaningful self-reflection.   THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal   BOOKS I’M READING (visit your local bookseller or library):   Spare by Prince Harry - https://www.amazon.com/Spare-Prince-Harry-Duke-Sussex/dp/0593593804 The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté, MD with Daniel Maté - https://www.amazon.com/Myth-Normal-Illness-Healing-Culture/dp/0593083881  Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy - https://www.goodinside.com/book/ The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron - https://juliacameronlive.com/books-by-julia/   CONNECT WITH DANIELLE    Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

I am excited to announce a very special series of exercises that will be our focus over the next seven to nine weeks. With each podcast, I’ll examine one of the seven life themes in The Treasured Journal: career, relationships, love, sex, money, family, and purpose. Whether you’re experienced at journaling or brand new to it, I encourage you to take advantage of these guided exercises to explore the seven themes in your life.   Journaling is one of the most powerful tools we have for gaining clarity and understanding. Understanding is empowering and freeing—it helps us advocate for ourselves, create space when we need it, and engage in constructive conversations that otherwise might be overwhelming.   It’s not essential that you use The Treasured Journal for these exercises—a plain pad of paper and pen will do. But, I recommend that you lean on the questions, prompts, and sentence stems in the journal. Along with this series of podcasts, they will help you move past that blank page and gain the type of clarity that comes from meaningful self-reflection.    Get a copy of THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal   In this episode, we begin our series with a discussion of “career” because people tend to have a lot of unconscious bias, complicated feelings, and self-identity wrapped up in their careers. So it’s worth examining how we perceive its value and its effect on us. Additionally, there is a unique emotional tension for women who choose to leave their careers to raise children. Within that context, we ask these questions about career to get your journaling juices flowing:   How do I know which internal voice to listen to when one is telling me to rest and another is pushing me to do that thing that seems so important?   When meeting someone and introducing myself, how quickly does my career come up? Or, conversely, do I avoid talking about my work?    When I receive criticism, how do I react? How long do I dwell on the feedback?   Do I start most weeks feeling some level of dread or enthusiasm about the week?    Thanks for listening to the Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs podcast. As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.   BOOKS I’M READING (visit your local bookseller or library):   The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté, MD with Daniel Maté - https://www.amazon.com/Myth-Normal-Illness-Healing-Culture/dp/0593083881   Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey - https://thenapministry.com/   Spare by Prince Harry - https://www.amazon.com/Spare-Prince-Harry-Duke-Sussex/dp/0593593804   CONNECT WITH DANIELLE    Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW   The “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.

Sheena Birt is the owner of Color Story Studio, a custom design studio that turns brick-and-mortar businesses into destinations people can’t wait to visit. Color Story Studio is known for creating one-of-a-kind installations for a variety of high-profile locations in and around Indianapolis. Her work has been featured at Dior in Chicago and Two Chicks District Co. (the store owned by the women of HGTV’s Good Bones), corporate lifestyle brands (such as Anthropologie), and Newfields, an art institution the studio partners with each year to create an immersive, multi-room installation inside the historic Lilly House. While Sheena’s reputation and portfolio are impressive, her path from graphic designer at a t-shirt shop in Terre Haute to the owner and creative force behind a highly sought-after design studio has not been a straight line. We discuss career fits and starts, confidence, collaboration, trust, burnout, asking for help, and the reluctance to jump in. Sheena also shares her search for inspiration, the benefits of being open to new things, and a surprising social media strategy.   I’m sure you’ll enjoy this inside look at a business we don’t often hear much about. Sheena’s insights will be of special interest for anyone considering a career in retail store and visual design, merchandising, and consulting. And, as you’re out and about this month, you’ll appreciate the season’s special holiday decorations from a brand new perspective.  Learn more about Sheena and Color Story Studio:   Website  Instagram  Thanks for listening. As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us. Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with Danielle:   Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW The “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.

This throwback to December 7, 2020, features Nicole Busch, the personal stylist and owner of Nicole Blair Wear. If you think “personal stylist” suggests that this is a standard discussion about fashion, I encourage you to think again. Getting dressed influences the way we interact with ourselves, our loved ones, and the world—it’s much more than clothes.  Nicole and I delve into the fascinating psychology behind what we wear, why our clothes don’t always reflect our true style, and how shifts in our internal lives can prompt a transformation in the way we dress.  Do you have a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear? Do you struggle to get dressed? Do you sometimes choose clothes that allow you to hide? Is your closet in disarray? Can you walk into your closet and know that you can put on anything and feel good in it? These are all indicators of what is happening under the skin. By focusing on self, style, and space, Nicole helps her clients bring the internal and external into alignment—and achieving that alignment can be truly life changing. Our wide-ranging discussion also includes the world of social media influencers and how they affect our buying habits and our attitudes about ourselves. Plus, Nicole drops some great pearls of wisdom, such as “don’t buy something on sale unless you would be willing to pay full price for it.” Nicole is absolutely delightful and I’m sure you will get a lot of value out of this episode, so sit back and enjoy! Ways to connect with Nicole: Website Facebook Pinterest  Instagram  YouTube Thanks for listening. Let me know what you think. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program and makes it easier for other listeners to find us. Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with Danielle:   Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW The “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.

Over the last couple of episodes, we’ve discussed the upcoming holidays and the pressure to have holiday feelings and do holiday things and meet holiday expectations. But that pressure can sabotage our mental health and our time with family and friends. So it’s important that we figure out what we want and need from the holidays, which is key to enjoying this time of year to the fullest.  In this episode, I share an exercise that can help us tap into the “joy juice,” the feel-good emotions that we want to be feeling this time of year. It can help us clarify what we want for ourselves and the tone we want our holidays to take. The exercise gives us a way to visualize our holidays—to do a virtual walkthrough, like daydreaming or watching a movie—so that we can learn what we want our desired holiday to feel like and be like in reality. Here are the basic steps: Sit quietly and think about how you want to feel (let’s say, on Thanksgiving) List the words that describe those feelings (e.g., warm, joyful, connected) Picture yourself walking through the day while keeping those words top of mind Let your body feel your desired emotional tone and intention for the day Try to anticipate things you want to prevent and encourage emotions that you want to create The great thing about this exercise is that it can be used ahead of any upcoming experience. It’s been shown to be effective, not just for the holidays, but for any event or situation where visualizing the narrative can help you navigate potential pitfalls and produce a more positive experience. Let me know how it goes!  Finally, as you’re setting your tone and intentions, be aware of the language around the commoditization of the holidays. Shopping is not therapy. An outsized focus on buying and getting and giving can sabotage us, too. Gifts can bring joy and delight, but things cannot bring real happiness.  As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us. Special Black Friday Savings! Save 25% on the Treasured Journal or the Treasured Journal Bundle  Thanksgiving, Nov. 24 - Cyber Monday, Nov. 28 Use promo code: blackfriday25 Get the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with Danielle:   Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

There really is no escaping the year-end holidays. From decorations to music to parties, the season is everywhere! And, with the season, comes the expectation that this is a festive time of year and you had better get on board and be grateful. We love and encourage feelings of gratitude. Gratitude feels good and we want to feel good, right? But gratitude can go very wrong when it doesn’t allow for a full range of emotion. When there is no space to feel anything else, gratitude can tip over into toxic positivity. So, this is a discussion of what gratitude really is and how we can access it in a healthy, authentic way. Because gratitude is a feeling, practicing gratitude without actually feeling gratitude is an empty exercise. But when we are truly in a state of gratitude, we are creating new neural pathways in the brain. So, I also share a few techniques for a gratitude practice that can help you develop those pathways:  Doing mirror work   Telling someone what you love/appreciate/respect/value about them Asking someone what they love/appreciate/respect/value about you Journaling Just as we’ve been conditioned over the years to think negative thoughts, these techniques and others can recondition the brain—and being able to access the new pathways literally can be lifesaving. As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you might want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us. Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with Danielle:   Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW The “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.

Even with all of the progress we’ve made in our attitudes toward mental health and therapy, many people still find it hard to admit that they need help. And often, if they do ask for help, they’ve waited far too long. Feeling the need to suck it up, to swallow our pain, to push through the hard times on our own is not only unnecessary, it also can be quite harmful.  For many of us, painful emotions are felt most acutely during the holidays. Some of our most fundamental issues surface when we are face-to-face with members of our family or when the pressure to show up for life’s responsibilities is beyond our limits.  If you’ve been thinking about starting therapy, I want to bust three big myths for you because now is the perfect time of year to start.  Don’t wait until the walls are crashing down.  Three myths about starting therapy: It means something’s wrong with me. (No, it doesn’t.) It means I have failed. (No, it doesn’t.) It means I have to know why I want it to start it. (No, you don’t.) As a therapist, I am truly honored when I get to witness someone sit with their feelings, take responsibility, and work toward change. If starting therapy seems scary and disempowering, consider this—it can be whatever you want it to be.  As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you might want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us. Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with Danielle:   Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

I started the "Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs" podcast to explore the "messy middle," that place between the before and after photo. It can also be thought of as the gap between how we are feeling and how we think we should be feeling. The middle doesn’t only exist during the year-end holidays, but as we’re closing in on that time of year, the gap between how we feel and how we want to feel can seem especially wide. To deal with the stress and business of the holiday season, we must first acknowledge the stress within ourselves. Anxiety, depression, and burnout can result when we push for a sense of togetherness and not disappointing loved ones. Before we know it, joy gives way to the pulls of exhaustion and lonliness. I know that it's easier said than done, but we need to get clear on what we want and how we want to feel if we're going to have a chance at getting through this season. So, start with some questions: How am I feeling? How do I want to feel?  How do our holiday traditions make me feel? How many things am I doing because I want to be doing them? Or, because I feel I have to do them? Am I being too hard on myself by trying to please others and meet their expectations? What do I want my holiday season to feel like? How does it usually feel?  How willing am I to acknowledge what I truly want, knowing the discomfort that it might cause? Remember that "practice makes permanent." Our holiday traditions have a way of continuing even when they no longer serve us. Maybe it’s time to make some space for a new approach or even a new tradition or two. We’ll revisit this theme in upcoming episodes, so give it some thought.  As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you might want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us. Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me:   Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW   The “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.

Lauren Rieker, RDN, is a registered dietitian and owner/manager of Collaborative Counseling & Nutrition, an outpatient nutrition and body image counseling center in Indianapolis. In this episode, I talk with Lauren about her own history with food, exercise, and health—and how it led her to pursue an approach to eating disorders, body image, and intuitive eating that emphasizes compassion, mindfulness, and holistic treatment.   This is not a typical discussion about our bodies and food-related struggles. In today’s environment, virtually all women are affected by pervasive ideas—and often misinformation—about body weight, size, and shape. So, I hope you will join us as Lauren shares her experience and perspective on these and related topics:   Eating disorders versus disordered eating Conventional diet culture and health outcomes Behaviors, satisfaction, and trusting our bodies Combining therapy services and nutrition for healthy living   Be sure to register for Lauren's workshop on October 19th to learn more about intuitive eating (Follow her on Social Media to get the deets! All her links are below.)   Connect with Lauren and the team at the links below.   Website: Collab-counseling.com  Instagram: @laurenrieker.rd    As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you might want to share with Danielle. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps increase the value of this program and makes it easier for other listeners to find the show.   Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with Danielle:   Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW   The “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.

Let’s face it, sometimes things just don’t go as planned. But, how do we respond? Do we hang on fiercely to the original plan? Do we let go and adjust to the new situation? If we let go of the original plan, how do we know when to let go? A lot of my clients have been faced with this question lately. So, in this episode I share a recent experience of my own to explore these questions and more.    We can learn a lot about ourselves when our plans are upended. All of us know the struggle of holding onto the promise of what could be rather than acknowledging the truth of what is. But that challenge, it turns out, can help us clarify what we want, why we want it, and how we want to feel.    Maybe it’s time to rethink how we plan so that we can give proper attention to setting realistic expectations, listening to how we feel, and trusting in the idea of “lightly held” plans.   As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share with me. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of our time together and makes it easier for new listeners to find us.    Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me:   Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW   The “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.

This is the 2nd half of a two-part discussion focused on people pleasing. The first half Ep. 49 on Justine Carino’s podcast, “Thoughts from the Couch," aired on September 5th. I encourage you to listen to that episode, especially if you are a people pleaser burdened by anxiety, guilt, perfectionism, and fear of disappointment or abandonment. Justine and I draw connections between these behaviors and feelings so that you can begin to relieve some of these emotional weights and better manage your world. Justine Carino is a licensed mental health counselor, anxiety treatment specialist, and host of “Thoughts from the Couch” podcast. She currently maintains a private practice in New York and helps individuals and families improve symptoms of anxiety and depression, move through feelings of grief, and recover from dysfunctional family relationships. Justine has over 10 years of experience and uses both cognitive behavioral therapy techniques and family systems techniques when working with her clients. She also has a signature online program for perfectionists called The Path to Peace. This course offers a step-by-step system that is clinically proven to reduce anxiety, set better boundaries, and help you create a personal mental health routine.  Podcast:  “Thoughts from the Couch” is available wherever you get your podcasts Instagram: _thoughtsfromthecouch_   Website: carinocounseling.com Take the Quiz:  "What Type of People Pleaser Are You?" As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you might like to share with others. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of our time together and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.  Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me:   Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW   The “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.

CONTENT WARNING: This episode deals with pregnancy and miscarriage. From February of 2020, we revisit episode #35, in which I discuss the miscarriage that I experienced eight months earlier. The physical, mental, and emotional toll the experience took on my husband and myself was heavy. I knew this was a story I wanted and needed to share, in part for my own healing, but also to honor the grace that had been given to me. In the early stages of healing, nurses came into my hospital room, took my hand, looked me in the eye, and shared their stories. This generosity was like a salve to my heart, and likely the only thing I could've handled hearing.  They didn’t say, "It'll be okay."  But rather, they said, "You're not alone." If this is a message you need to hear, please know that you are not alone.    Thank you for being on this journey with me. We're in this together. As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you might like to share with others. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of our time together and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.  Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me:   Website:  danielleireland.com Instagram:  danielleireland_LCSW Facebook:  danielleireland_LCSW

In episode #42 from April 2022, Jen Petro and I discuss the benefits of taking a solo retreat. She first suggested the idea to me while working side by side at Cafe’ Patachou.⁣ ⁣I remember thinking, “Huh? Just go somewhere by myself, for myself, for no other reason than I want to?”⁣ ⁣It sounded indulgent, a little selfish, and OH SO NECESSARY. Saying yes to myself in this way changed my life. Truly. ⁣ A solo retreat can drop your stress level and help you feel more settled, especially in times of uncertainty. If taking a solo retreat sounds appealing and like something you’re able to do, I encourage you to listen to the episode to learn more about this terrific approach to self care. Enjoy! Jen Petro is a writer, marketing nerd, and owner of Dropleaf Communications. Dropleaf helps brands and businesses clarify their message to connect with customers and drive sales. To connect with Jen: Website: dropleaf.co/ Instagram: jenspetro Email: [email protected]   As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you might like to share with others. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of our time together and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.  Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me:   Website:  danielleireland.com Instagram:  danielleireland_LCSW Facebook:  danielleireland_LCSW

This episode revisits my discussion with Danielle Wolter Nolan, who has a question for you. When was the last time you did something for the first time? In episode #42 from April 2020, Danielle and I talked about taking leaps of faith, what it means to push past what you believe is possible, and what it takes to live adventurously. Danielle and her wife, Kate Nolan, founders of DNK Presents, organize and guide empowering adventure retreats for groups and businesses. They focus on getting people to step outside their comfort zones, try something for the first time, and in turn, gain confidence through experiential learning and adventures. In 2016, they turned their story and the life changing stories of their fellow adventurers into a documentary film, titled “Live Adventurously,” which was accepted to the Heartland Film Festival. To learn more about the film, watch the trailer here.    As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you might like to share with others. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of our time together and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.  Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me:   Website:  danielleireland.com Instagram:  danielleireland_LCSW Facebook:  danielleireland_LCSW

This solocast revisits episode 48, in which I explore two questions about goals:  When are goals necessary to make meaningful things happen in our lives? How do we know when it’s time to abandon a goal and move on? Somewhere in the middle of answering these questions I explore: Goals and expectations Goals and disappointment Goals and accomplishment And most of all: Goals and emotions Whether it’s a personal goal, business goal, or creative goal—our goals are driven by an emotional desire—worthy, important, accomplished, accepted, maybe even RELIEVED. Want some more help to tackle goals? Click on the blog links below. Find Success by Getting Curious Patience: The Gift of Time As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you might like to share with others. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of our time together and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.  Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me:   Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

Over the summer, I‘ve taken some time away from “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” to reassess and clarify my goals, to make sure that this podcast continues to provide discussions that are thoughtful, purposeful, and relevant. Now, with renewed energy, I’m eager to dive into the upcoming season with a fresh focus. In the meantime, I’ve selected four past episodes to re-introduce to you in the coming weeks. Each feels timely again. So, as we ramp up for the launch of the new season, I hope you find value in these special discussions. The Relationship Between Goals & Emotions (#48)  When’s the last time you did something for the first time? (#42) Guest: Danielle Wolter Nolan Need some alone time? (#41) Guest: Jen Petro  You are not alone. A Miscarriage Solocast (#35) As always, feel free to reach out with questions or comments. Also, if you have not already done so, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of our time together and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.   Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me:   Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

If the way we want to feel isn’t alive somewhere inside us, then we’re more likely to stay stuck in the mindset of our problems. While choosing joy in the midst of insanity might feel like a bold and radical choice, joy is the rocket fuel we need to get us where we want to go. In this episode, I discuss tactics that help us tap into the joy that can be lying dormant inside us. Window-shopping joy  Doubling down on what feels good  Being a student of happiness    By recognizing what feels good and practicing the rhythm of pleasure, we can learn to access the joy that we need.      As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that might benefit others. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of our time together and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.    Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me:   Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW The “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.

Our desire to attract more loving relationships relies on our ability to be honest and loving toward ourselves. In this listener’s favorite episode from January 2021, I revisit what this has looked like in my own life and explore the importance of finding acceptance and comfort in our authentic selves, which can set the stage for growth.      If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps increase the value of these discussions and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.   Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me:   Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

This episode comes in the wake of another horrific school shooting and many of the people I’ve encountered over the past week are struggling because of it. So, I’m compelled to use this time to address the concept of fear brought on by secondary trauma and how we can get stuck trying to process that fear. Through biologic evolution, our bodies have been hardwired with the classic fear responses: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. Often we respond with fear even when the danger or trauma does not pose an immediate physical threat to us. Typically, these reactions are involuntary. Our bodies make the decision to respond in a particular way regardless of whether the danger is real or perceived, primary or secondary.  For many of us, our fear response appears not only because of a specific event or string of events, but also because the news outlets recount stories and images on seemingly endless repeat. We imagine the pain and heartache of the devastated families and consider the vulnerability of our own children. We are affected by the responses of our family, friends, and coworkers as well. Our social media feeds carry the strong emotions from the people we   follow, and their reactions are served up right alongside the algorithms that are designed to activate us and keep us engaged as long as possible. When our bodies carry the weight of these chronic stressors it’s easy to get stuck in our corrosive emotions. But there are steps we can take to reduce our involuntary fear response. Here are just a few that I discuss in this episode: Exercise, go to the park, snuggle a pet, engage in simple touch Read, rather than watch, the news Limit the amount of time you spend consuming social media  Most importantly, do what is best for you. If listening to this episode is not what you need right now, that’s okay. Come back next week. If you choose to listen, I hope it brings you some relief. Just know that you are not alone in your response to overwhelming tragedy.  Thank you for listening. As always, I welcome your feedback and ask that you rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast if you find value here.  Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me:   Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

In this Listener’s Favorite from November 2020, I revisit compassion fatigue and empathy with Liesel Mertes. Liesel is a workplace empathy consultant and founder of Handle with Care Consulting.  In the wake of Covid, workplace empathy has taken on even greater importance, but so too has the need for compassion and empathy in every aspect of our lives today. For many of us, the lines between work and home and school have been blurred and it seems that nearly everyone is struggling with fatigue and the current and residual stress from worrying about and taking care of ourselves, our loved ones, and our community.  In this episode, Liesel shares her own profound experience with loss. Her journey has changed her perspective on what it means to be well and has transformed her ability to teach valuable lessons on how to be a better partner, a better friend, a better coworker, and a better leader.  Even though loss can be heavy, our discussion is light. We approach the subject in a warm and gentle way. I’m confident that anyone whose life and worldview have been disrupted over the last several years will find benefit in Liesel’s experience and insight. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps increase the value of these discussions and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.   Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me: Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW Connect with Liesel Mertes: Website  Podcast  LinkedIn   Twitter  

Women have always known that building community with other women creates a powerful force for good. Leslie Bailey, the co-founder and CEO of Indy Maven, has transformed that knowledge into a lifestyle media company and community for women that epitomizes her spirit of collaboration, support, and inspiration. And now she is creating even more opportunities for the community by launching a new social and networking space that expresses what the Indy Maven team has created digitally. I love the wisdom and vulnerability that she brought to our discussion on these topics and others: Managing success and all the expectations that come with it Resisting the urge to give away too much of yourself Setting boundaries Understanding that self care is about more than bubble baths Asking for help when life happens I’m confident that you’ll find useful takeaways in this episode. It’s a valuable discussion for anyone who has ever felt overwhelmed, in need of support, or out of control despite their achievements. Did you enjoy the episode? If so, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps increase the value of these discussions and it makes it easier for other listeners to find us. Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me: Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW Ways to connect with Leslie Bailey & IndyMaven: Indy Maven Website Indy Maven Instagram Indy Maven Facebook Leslie Bailey Instagram Leslie Bailey Facebook Leslie Bailey is the co-founder, CEO, and editor-in-chief of Indy Maven, a lifestyle media company and community for women, by women in Central Indiana. Indy Maven offers an engaging website with free editorial content, an award-winning weekly newsletter, a membership program, events, and more. Before launching Indy Maven, Leslie worked as a freelance writer and editor and held roles including managing editor of AAA Crossroads magazine, lifestyle editor at Indianapolis Monthly magazine and “The Adventuress” columnist for the Indianapolis Star. In 2021, Leslie was listed in the first class of the Forbes Next 1000. In the spring of 2022, she’s launching Maven Space, a community and co-working space powered by Mavens.  Leslie is a longstanding board member at Coburn Place and was a founding member of the Indianapolis Museum of Art’s Fashion Arts Society. She lives on the northwest side of Indianapolis with her husband, 4-year-old and 1-year-old sons, a bonus 12-year-old son, two cats, and a slobbery Bullmastiff.  

I'm excited to introduce you to Dr. Katye Tuyo, PT, DPT, an orthopedic and pelvic health physical therapist. In this episode we learn that everyone—regardless of gender—has a pelvic floor and its health plays a vital role in our overall health and wellbeing. I learned this firsthand as a patient, which is why I’ve asked Katye to share her expertise. This episode is not just for new parents. Katye talks about pelvic floor health, how to recognize when therapy might be needed, and how even seemingly unrelated physical issues can signal the need for help. Everything from hip pain, back pain, urinary incontinence, sexual dysfunction, leg pain, and many other problems can be improved by pelvic floor strength and stabilization therapy. We don’t have to “just live with” physical pain and dysfunction Many symptoms are common but not normal, and can be fixed Our emotional and physical systems are profoundly interconnected Deep breaths don’t cost a thing   SPECIAL GIVEAWAY Do you live in or near Indianapolis? Get in on a chance to win an initial consultation and treatment session at Vitalize Physical Therapy as well as my Treasured Journal & Meditation Series—a combined $300 value. Follow me on Instagram to get the details.  Did you enjoy the episode? If so, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of these discussions for you and it makes it easier for other listeners find us. Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me: Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW Ways to connect with Katye and the Vitalize Physical Therapy Team: Website Instagram Facebook Dr. Katye Tuyo is happy to be a part of the Vitalize Physical Therapy family, with a passion for getting to the root cause for true healing to happen. Born into a family that bleeds Black and Gold, she attended Purdue University where she graduated with a degree in Athletic Training. It was there she discovered a natural ability to feel what is happening below the skin and a love for manual therapy was born. She continued on to the University of Indianapolis where she achieved her Doctorate degree in Physical Therapy. Upon graduation from UIndy, Katye remained in the Indianapolis area treating patients with orthopedic and pelvic health conditions, continuing to grow her holistic approach to help patients heal.   Her patients say she is a good listener and uses a personalized hands-on method. She focuses on creating an optimal environment to enable the body’s innate healing process. She takes a “zoomed-out” approach in order to determine contributing factors, while simultaneously focusing on the root cause of symptoms. Katye is a lifelong learner, stays up to date on current research, and loves continuing education to learn new techniques and perfect her skills.  When not at the clinic, you can find Katye spending time with her dog Harvey. She enjoys traveling, going on family trips, rollerblading with her pup, advocating and educating on non-toxic personal products, and growing her own fresh veggies in the garden. On Saturday mornings you will likely find her at one of her favorite places, the farmer’s market, where she enjoys trying new foods and supporting the local community.

When you’re caught up in the details of everyday life, it can be easy to “forget” how remarkable our loved ones are because we’re around them so much. By dedicating time for interruption-free discussion that might not happen organically over dinner, we can reconnect in important ways. So I thought it would be fun to “check in” with my husband, David Dellen, and share that discussion with you. Since having a baby in the last year, our relationship has changed and evolved in ways we anticipated and in ways we did not. We discuss: Adapting to changing priorities   Managing an evolving relationship Making adjustments in communication  Whether you’re a new parent or not, these themes will resonate with anyone interested in making the most of life with their partner.  Did you enjoy the episode? If so, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of these discussions for you. Did you enjoy the episode? If so, please remember to rate, review & subscribe to the podcast. Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me: Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

Jealousy is often seen as a negative emotion. And let's be honest, it doesn't feel that great when we experience it. ⁣ BUT, what does it look like if we approach our jealousy with a little compassionate curiosity? In my experience, jealousy is calling our attention to deeper desires that we may not be fully aware we have.  When we're riding the jealousy train, we might find ourselves falling into the following rabbit holes: Comparison⁣ Criticism Complaining⁣ ⁣Here's 3 things jealousy it might be telling you.⁣⁣ There's something here I want for myself.⁣ I need more of this in my life.⁣ I'm really ready to make this change.⁣ ⁣ Did you enjoy the episode? If so, please remember to rate, review & subscribe to the podcast. Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me: Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

Doubt - What does it mean? Why do we feel it? What do we do about it? A preview to upcoming episodes, and what to expect from the podcast moving forward. Doubt - Why do we feel it? What does it mean? How does it affect our behavior? And, what the heck are we supposed to do when we feel it? I share a journal entry (in real time) as an example for when I last experienced doubt, how I felt, and share a process that could be helpful to you too.  Did you enjoy the episode? If so, please remember to rate, review & subscribe to the podcast. Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me: Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

Being gaslit can feel like you're carrying a lunch tray and someone smacks it up in your face. It wasn't your doing, but somehow you're the one with chocolate pudding and pizza all over your clothes. It's messy, confusing, and often leaves you doubting yourself.  In this week's solo cast, I'm exploring gaslighting. What it means. What it sounds like. What it does to our relationships. And more importantly -> How to work through it. Did you enjoy the episode? If so, please remember to rate, review & subscribe to the podcast. Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me: Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

Erica Ballard is joining me in this week's episode of Don't Cut Your Own Bangs. What's in the episode? BIG learning. & Whole-hearted belly laughs. We talk about adjusting to the curveballs of life, deep dive into all the ways we AREN'T alone, why connection matters, and why companies have to start doing more to support the mothers that work for them. Meet Erica Ballard.  A woman who jumped from job to job – hoping to find a company that let her be herself while doing work that mattered. She never found that place, which is why she left the corporate world to start a business to change that for other women. Prior to creating retainHER, Erica ran a successful  health and life coaching practice for four year and spent ten years in the public health sector. She has a MS from Tufts University School of Medicine. She currently lives in Denver with her husband, daughter, and pup. Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me: Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW Ways to connect with Erica: Instagram - @iamericaballard LinkedIn  Did you enjoy the episode? If so, please remember to rate, review & subscribe to the podcast.

Episode 100 of Don’t Cut Your Bangs is here! What. In. The. World. How did this happen? What a wonderful wonderful (written 2x for emphasis) thing to write and say.  In this week’s episode, I enlisted the help of a friend and coach, Juanita Molano Para. She’s a former guest turned temporary host that took me down memory lane, and together we explored the following: What does celebration mean?  Why I had such a hard time figuring out how I wanted to celebrate reaching the 100th episode. Hint - celebration of accomplishments is vulnerable, sweaty, and kind of uncomfortable. And, because I didn’t know how I wanted to do it - I didn’t want to do it at all. How have I changed over the course of making this podcast, and how it’s evolved since episode 1.  How experiencing comparison can pop up when you least expect it, and why chasing the feeling of “being enough” will always leave you feeling strung-out, unstable and sleepy. For this episode, I want to offer my thanks to Juanita for her kindness and generosity.  For the last 99, I want to say a BIG thank you to every guest, supporter and all who have listened.   All my love, Danielle Ways to connect with me: Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with Juanita: Instagram: @jumpcoaching.co Newsletter (available in 4 languages): Jump Start

Social media influencer, producer, and expert Kenzie Kittle and I take a deep dive into the underbelly of social media - Villains, Bullies & Trolls. What is it like to be trolled at scale? You’re doing the right things, your platform is growing, AND so is your exposure to virtual bullies.  Is it possible to get “thick skin,” “shrug it off,” or “NOT worry about it”? Kenzie and I explore these questions and how she protects herself, as well as her clients.  We also talk about the beauty and connection that can be found through social media, how it’s not ALL bad, and how to approach naysayers with compassionate curiosity.  You don’t have to be a social media influencer or expert to experience criticism. We also discuss how the boundaries we’ve set online have helped us in everyday life. Referenced in the episode Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me: Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW Ways to connect with Kenzie: Website: https://amkittleconsulting.com/ Home blog: http://simplyjandk.com Instagram: @kenziekittle LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kenziekittle Kenzie is a storyteller. Her love of stories traces back to her pre-professional days, when she would captivate her parents with tales of princesses and pirates. Whether it’s a fairytale from her childhood or a new digital campaign, she approaches them the same way: with creativity and a gripping narrative.  As the founder of A.M. Kittle Consulting, a digital marketing agency, Kenzie finds unique solutions to client challenges by developing brand voices, building comprehensive digital strategies, creating content, testing new ad units and identifying innovative ways to motivate target audiences. On top of her agency, Kenzie runs the life, home and style blog, SimplyJandK.com, with a following of nearly 80,000 people.  Before launching her agency and blog, Kenzie led the digital efforts for the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, managing the social team for the largest single day sporting event in the world, the Indianapolis 500. She honed her skills in paid ad strategy working on the AT&T and American Medical Association client teams at Adfero. And, formerly worked as the Press Secretary for Congressman Luke Messer and the House Republican Policy Committee on Capital Hill.    Kenzie graduated from Rollins College in Winter Park, FL with a BA in Communications and a minor in Political Science.

What does it mean to trust the way you feel when people you trust, who love you, or leading experts disagree? Who actually knows what’s best for us? Wanting the approval of others and wanting to reach consensus with important decisions in our lives can potentially keep us stuck in people pleasing, over committing and anxiety.  Opinions are not facts, and Google is not research. How can we approach differing opinions with compassionate curiosity without abandoning ourselves in the process?   Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me: Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

  Jenna Streit, Director of Advancement for The Milk Bank of Indianapolis, and I talk about the history of the organization, the families they serve and how mothers supporting mothers are heroes in our community.  Jenna and I share stories of healing, connection, and why every mother deserves to support herself and her family in ANY way she chooses.  Jenna answers FAQs about donor milk, stigma, and the life saving work that The Milk Bank does in the community. Join the Workshop HERE Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me: Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW About The Milk Bank Founded in 2005 as the Indiana Mothers’ Milk Bank, The Milk Bank was established to improve health outcomes for premature and ill infants, foster better health for children and decrease health care expenditures. The Milk Bank receives human milk from carefully screened donors, pasteurizes, freezes and distributes it throughout the United States. As a non-profit, community-supported entity, The Milk Bank is the first and only donor human milk bank in Indiana. The Milk Bank is a proud member of the Human Milk Banking Association of North America.

There have been SO MANY moments when I’m in a session with a client where I think to myself, “Gah! I wish more people could hear this!” Enter - Session Reflections. These solocasts are my way of letting you be a fly on the wall for some of the most incredible insights that my psychotherapy clients experience. The details about who they are will be omitted to protect their privacy, as well as many of the details about their specific experience. What will be shared are profound insights, BIG hearted questions, and lessons that I find myself thinking about hours after these sessions are over.  Think of this like a little dose of therapy, but without all the work and you get to skip to the end. In this episode, I talk about validation and boundaries. More specifically, what do we do when people we love don’t understand, support or agree with what we’re feeling? Join the Workshop HERE Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me: Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

Teresa and I talk about working with coaches and being in therapy, all of the beauty that can come from showing up consistently, and how when you do you’re regularly asking for stress sweat.  We talk about my experience working with Teresa for 6 months as a coach, how she helped me build my first online courses, and why technology can feel like such a pain in the @ss sometimes! (Hint: bc it is) We explore what we do when we feel stuck and what helps us get out of it. Join the Workshop HERE Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE Ways to connect with me: Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW Private FB Group: The Treasured Community About Teresa Sabatine:  Teresa Sabatine is a high-performance mindset coach who has helped over 100 women recover from burnout, gain clarity, and define impact driven paths that allow them to build thriving careers and businesses. She believes women are the world's most untapped resource, and works tirelessly to  help them cultivate a deeper connection to their authentic power so they can live out their passion and creativity.  She deploys business strategy and mindset coaching to purpose-driven women entrepreneurs, and helps women find clarity and pursue work they love in her burnout recovery program, From Stuck to Clarity.  When she's not in a coaching session or making a meaningful connection between powerful women, you can find her in the mountains on a hike with her dog Billy or creating floral bouquets in her kitchen. LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/teresasabatine/   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/teresasabatine Website: https://teresasabatine.com/

Doubt - What does it mean? Why do we feel it? What do we do about it? A preview to upcoming episodes, and what to expect from the podcast moving forward. Doubt - Why do we feel it? What does it mean? How does it affect our behavior? And, what the heck are we supposed to do when we feel it? I share a journal entry (in real time) as an example for when I last experienced doubt, how I felt, and share a process that could be helpful to you too.    Referenced in the episode: Join the Workshop HERE Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE   Ways to connect with me: Website: danielleireland.com Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW Private FB Group: The Treasured Community

The condition of our physical bodies is closely connected to our mental health, and the stress of 2020 has taken a toll. Before you set your New Years' resolutions, I'd HIGHLY encourage you to take the time to listen to my conversation with the nutritionist, coach, and founder of Erica Ballard Health - Erica Ballard. In this episode, we explore why success and sustainability are so connected to how you feel on the way to accomplishing your goals. This is a no BS conversation about what's often not explored when women talk about "getting healthy" or "getting in shape"... getting smaller. We talk about what health looks like from all shapes and sizes, and how not being honest with ourselves about what we're really looking for can lead to anxiety and self-sabotage. One of my favorite takeaways from our conversation was this, "If you're not enjoying the process of getting healthy, you're not going to maintain the results." Programs or methods that aren't fun along the way WON'T be fun to continue! So simple, and so true. The same can be said for ANY goal, intention, or resolution.  Enjoy! Ways to connect with me: Instagram Facebook Pinterest Resources just for you: Treasured Journal Treasured Community Unleashing You Relationship Course  

Meet Gary Noesner - author, instructor, investigator, and FBI negotiator.  Gary served as the lead hostage negotiator during the first 25 days of the 51-day siege in Waco TX. His book Stalling for Time, My life as an FBI Hostage Negotiator became the framework with the Netflix mini-series WACO.  In his words, "I've talked about WACO more in the past couple of months than in my entire career, but if you don't know history you're destined to repeat it." We explore what it feels like to be negotiating relationships from every angle in crisis situations, and how the lessons from these experiences can apply to everyday life. There were so many great parts of this conversation, but my favorite takeaway is this: The best answer you can give is the most truthful - even if it's, "I don't know." Ways to connect with me: Instagram Facebook Pinterest Resources just for you: Treasured Journal Treasured Community Unleashing You Relationship Course

Meet Asia Coffee - Cake designer, educator, mother, and businesswoman.  Asia is an artist who wants to share her love of cake decorating and design with the world. With over 1,000 youtube subscribers, Asia teaches viewers how to make their own sprinkles, pipe buttercream, and work with color.  In this episode, we talk about Asia's design inspiration, how she got started in the world of cake decoration, and how to move forward in the face of uncertainty.  My two favorite takeaways from this episode: Start small and see what happens. Don't quit during the ugly phase. She may have been talking about cakes, but these lessons apply to all walks of life. You can find Asia on Instagram & Youtube. I hope you're ready to dive into this delicious episode. Ways to connect with me: Instagram Facebook Pinterest Resources just for you: Treasured Journal Treasured Community Unleashing You Relationship Course