We briefly discuss a barbarian-sized hit. Also: fully clothed breasts!

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 1:21 - We introduce special guest host, Matt Koff.1:22 - 29:19 - Jump! For my love! Jump in! ...Is a song we'd rather be listening to, than watching the film Jumper, starring Teen Anakin. Skywalker.  29:20 - 33:50 - Final judgments. 33:51 - 39:11 - A little Unbreakable feedback, and Dan hijacks the podcast for his own petty, personal purposes.39:12 - 46:25 - The sad bastards recommend.46:26 - 49:18 - Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Trailers for some of this summer's biggest films.

0:00 - 0:30 - Intro and theme.0:31 - 1:40 - We welcome back co-host Elliott Kalan after a brief break, and he pitches us a Kalan-centric TV vehicle.1:41 - 26:42 - A perfectly pleasant conversation about sticking your penis in various foodstuffs is ruined by the film Untraceable.26:43 - 30:00 - Final judgments.30:01 - 36:16 - The sad bastards recommend.36:17 - 38:03 - Shilling for the website - now with fan art and videos!38:04 - 40:14 - Some final thoughts about Untraceable, fan art, and penises.40:15 - 41:19 - Goodbyes, theme music, and outtakes.

We present an extended cut from a horror movie classic.

In the battle between Alien and Predator, there can be only one winner, and you can bet it's not the viewing public.  Meanwhile, Stuart reveals a shocking secret about vaginas, Dan does a sub-par 70's TV impression, and Lou keeps urging people to draw things.0:00 - 0:29 - Introduction and theme.0:30 - 2:35 - We speculate about regular host Elliott Kalan's absence, and learn a little about guest host Lou Fernandez.2:36 - 32:05 - Alien vs. Predator, possibly the coolest concept in the world, provided you're an acne-riddled 12-year-old.32:06 - 35:25 - Final judgments.35:26 - 42:14 - The sad bastards recommend.42:15 - 45:07 - We draw your attention to Elliott's recent television triumph and plug our website a little.45:08 - 48:09 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

The Flop House makes a foray into near-journalism and visits the NY ComiCon.

We answer the question, "How bad could a movie with dragon wars possibly be?"  Meanwhile, Dan pitches a new Bikini-themed movie, Elliott has a flashback to the war, Stu makes a love connection, and we all take a big swig of the Hong Kong cocktail.0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 26:07 - After a brief and transparent bid for sympathy on Dan's part, we get down to business and discuss D-Wars: Dragon Wars, the film that can't make up its mind whether to abbreviate itself.26:08 - 27:37 - Final judgments.27:38 - 28:49 - We announce a shameless ploy to increase listenership.28:50 - 32:29 - A long-absent segment makes its triumphant return.32:30 - 38:20 - The sad bastards recommend.38:21 - 42:08 - Some podcast business is taken care of, amidst copious gibberish.42:09 - 43:21 - Goodbyes, theme music, and outtakes.I apologize that the audio quality is slightly lower than the previous few episodes.  My allergy-addled mind didn't take enough time checking the levels, so I sound slightly louder and cracklier than Stu or Elliott, despite doing my best to fix it in post.

A heartwarming story about spiders disintegrates into despair and recrimination.  Enjoy!

We squander our newfound viral success by spending this episode talking about the movie Bratz.  Meanwhile, Stuart solves an unsolvable math problem, Dan lauds the film's convention-defying use of time, and Elliott gives the youth a lesson about teetotaling.  0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme.0:35 - 2:19 - A noble attempt at professionalism crashes and burns almost immediately.  Also, we explain our mission statement.2:20 - 40:37 - We giggle like grade-school girls over the Bratz movie.40:38 - 43:34 - Final judgements.43:35 - 54:38 - The sad bastards recommend. 54:39 - 57:37 - Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

We devote this Flop House Movie Minute to the ultimate in nostalgia sequels.

In our least-edited show yet we discover that big stars, glossy production values, and a classic story can't save you from being snatch'd by the Flop House, as we discuss The Invasion.  Meanwhile, Elliott tries to sell us on his medical humor, Stuart imagines the sassy sentient skateboard of his dreams, and Dan auditions for several other podcasts.0:00 - 0:35 Introduction and theme0:36 - 2:46 A podcast warning is issued, and a dead-on George Takai impression is met with thundering indifference.2:46 - 40:54 We talk about The Invasion, the latest and least-greatest take on Invasion of the Body Snatchers.  At least Nicole Kidman wears a tight sweater.40:55 - 42:38 Final judgments.42:39 - 55:09 The sad bastards recommend.55:10 - 56:05 Some nonsense about Karate Kid to close the show.56:07 - 58:56 Thanks, podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

In the second of our short, supplemental episodes, noted raconteur Stuart Wellington describes his encounter with noted werewolf-hunter Kate Beckinsale.

0:00 - 0:30 - Introduction and theme.0:30 - 3:21 - We waste a fair amount of time talking about our new microphones.3:22 - 28:50 - Jessica Alba AND Hayden Christensen?  Is there any way the movie Awake CAN'T be good?28:51 - 37:20 Final judgements37:21 - 38:57 A brief intermission for a story about Dan in his pajamas.38:58 - 51:44 The sad bastards recommend51:45 - 56:26 Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

We're going to start producing short, supplemental episodes to put out in weeks without a full-length Flop House, so that listeners don't have to wait quite so long for new content.  In this first episode, Dan addresses some of the material lost (thanks to technical difficulties) from the Awards Floptacular episode. We hope you like the new Movie Minute supplements.  Thanks for listening.

Special guest Elliott Kalan returns to discuss what has been called "The Academy Awards of movies," the Oscars. Meanwhile, Stuart hands out tips about the Internet, Dan learns what it means to be a really unlikely stripper, and Elliott fears running afoul of Wayne Enterprises. 0:00 - 0:33 Introduction and theme. 0:34 - 31:49 Welcoming special guest host, Elliott Kalan (segment producer, The Daily Show; humor columnist, Metro), and discussion of the 80th annual Academy Awards. 31:50 - 39:30 Elliott discusses his own experiences helping to produce the 2006 Oscars telecast, and Dan tries to jump in with his own shameless name-dropping. 39:31 - 43:15 We discuss the Razzies, which, coincidentally, was dominated by the film we watched the last time Elliott guest hosted. 43:16 - 45:51 We get bored talking about the Razzies and drift back to the Oscars. 45:52 - 46:39 Dan's cursed laptop provides the show with a shocking twist ending. Also, podcasty business is briefly addressed. 46:40 - 47:26 End theme and outtakes. NOTE: I incorrectly identified our email address as "theflophouse" at gmail.com. It is, of course, "theflophousepodcast" (of course because, in 2008, every other damn email address had been taken).

Comedian Ritch Duncan joins us, to talk about Good Luck Chuck, starring "comedian" Dane Cook, in a poignant film about love lost, found, and crotch-biting penguins. Meanwhile Dan makes a plea for exploitation filmmakers to stick to their guns, Ritch explains when to allow a bird to ingest its own feces, and Stuart encourages our audience in an act of vandalism against video stores across the nation. 0:00 - 0:32 Introduction and theme. 0:32 - 1:35 Welcoming special guest host Ritch Duncan, stand-up comic, and former editor-in-chief for Jest Magazine, and former writer for PRI's Fair Game and Comedy Central's Tough Crowd With Colin Quinn. 1:36 - 41:00 We upchuck Good Luck Chuck - a movie which, by the way, is about as unfunny and unpleasant as the first part of this sentence. 41:01 - 45:35 For the very first time, a movie manages to break the Final Judgement segment of The Flop House. 45:36 - 54:02 The sad bastards recommend. 54:03 - 55:12 Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes. Two notes, one good, one bad: The GOOD: I've discovered how to compress these files further, so that, going forward, the shows will not be monster 80 MB downloads. Sorry about the size of previous episodes. You'll note that this one, despite being nearly an hour, is a svelte 25 MB. The BAD: This episode has an (extremely, extremely quiet, but still noticeable) constant stream of background chatter. I do not know why. Most likely, the headphones for my TV were switched on, and near the mic, while recording, so that we could not hear this ambient noise during the session, but it got picked up on the podcast. Sorry about that -- it won't happen again. In the meanwhile, why don't you pretend that you're listening to this episode on old-fashioned terrestrial radio, and what you're hearing is the next channel in the AM dial bleeding into this one. It'll make you feel like you're on a long road trip with your parents... except that your folks are inexplicably listening to three foul-mouthed guys kicking a movie while it's down. Enjoy!

In this episode, Colbert Report staff writer Frank Lesser joins us, to see what happens next, in Next (hint: it has something to do with Nicholas Cage's hair). Meanwhile, Stuart reveals his vulnerability to bullets, Dan describes his super-power, and Frank pitches a romantic comedy built on Next's charred remains. 0:00 – 0:35 Introduction and theme. 0:36 – 7:42 Our guest host Frank Lesser is introduced, and we indulge in some off-topic discussion of M. Night Shyamalan, and of Heath Ledger's untimely demise. 7:43 – 33:33 What happens if they make a movie with Nic Cage, Julianne Moore, and Jessica Biel and no-one comes? They name it Next. 33:34 – 38:35 Final judgments. 38:36 - 42:30 The sad bastards recommend. 42:31 - 56:50 A once-proud podcast devolves into a conversation about recent movies, including Juno, I Am Legend, and The Mist. 56:51 – 57:49 Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Daily Show segment producer and Metro columnist Elliott Kalan joins us, to discuss Lindsay Lohan's tour de force dual performance as a girl and another, slightly sluttier girl, in I Know Who Killed Me.  Meanwhile, Stuart discusses decorating plans for his evidence dungeon, Dan mentions a lost Neil Simon play that should stay lost, and Elliott fills us in on the life and works of Art Bell.0:00 – 0:32 Introduction and theme.0:33 – 36:54 I Know Who Killed Me - just as lurid as the title suggests?  Or lurid-er?36:55 – 40:15 Final judgments.40:16 – 45:13 The sad bastards recommend.45:14 – 48:13 Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.A note: we've eliminated the movie synopsis at the beginning of the episode, as we've heard people say that they'd rather just get into the fun stuff right away.  However, if you want a little context for the discussion, we'll still post links to the Wikipedia pages for these films, which tend to have fairly thorough plot summaries.Daily Show segment producer and Metro columnist Elliott Kalan joins us, to discuss Lindsay Lohan's tour de force dual performance as a girl and another, slightly sluttier girl, in I Know Who Killed Me.  Meanwhile, Stuart discusses decorating plans for his evidence dungeon, Dan mentions a lost Neil Simon play that should stay lost, and Elliott fills us in on the life and works of Art Bell.0:00 – 0:32 Introduction and theme.0:33 – 36:54 I Know Who Killed Me - just as lurid as the title suggests?  Or lurid-er?36:55 – 40:15 Final judgments.40:16 – 45:13 The sad bastards recommend.45:14 – 48:13 Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.A note: we've eliminated the movie synopsis at the beginning of the episode, as we've heard people say that they'd rather just get into the fun stuff right away.  However, if you want a little context for the discussion, we'll still post links to the Wikipedia pages for these films, which tend to have fairly thorough plot summaries.

In our first episode sans Simon, we welcome friend-of-the-show Jeanette Laird to the guest host seat, to discuss the Kevin Costner split-personality serial killer film Mr. Brooks.  Meanwhile, Stuart makes a movie pitch, Dan reveals an embarrassing secret about Charlie’s Angels, and Jeanette teaches us how to kill a man.0:00 – 0:36 Introduction and theme.0:37 – 2:50 Partial synopsis of Mr. Brooks, courtesy of Wikipedia.2:51 – 28:02 Something’s happening here and you don’t know what it is, do you, Mr. Brooks?28:03 – 31:16 Final judgments.31:17 – 36:55 The sad bastards recommend.36:56 – Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.*A small apology for the audio quality of some of this episode.  I have no idea why my voice sounds so booming at times, while Stuart and Jeanette sound like they are in the next room, other than the obvious explanation that I am 40 feet tall.

In this episode, the gang chats about Perfect Stranger, the top Internet chat-based thriller that was released twenty years after Internet chatting was invented. Meanwhile, Stuart engages in some creative screenplay retitling, Dan proposes a twist ending advisory board, and Simon drops a personal bombshell. 0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme. 0:34 - 1:54 - Partial synopsis of Perfect Stranger, courtesy of Wikipedia. 1:55 - 28:27 - According to the Simpsons musical Streetcar! "...a stranger's just a friend you haven't met!" But that was before the movie Perfect Stranger. 28:28 - 29:52 - Final judgments. 29:53 - 36:18 - Our first listener mail! 36:19 - 40:01 - The sad bastards recommend. 40:02 - 44:00 - Simon reveals some sad news. 44:01 - 46:25 - Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

In the second of our special Halloween episodes, the gang gets caught in the deathtrap that is Saw III. Meanwhile, Simon spins an elaborate handstand analogy, Stuart gets turned on by Icyface, and Dan offers Jigsaw's girlfriend a little relationship advice.0:00 - 0:40 - Introduction and the special "Halloween Remix" Flop House Theme0:40 - 2:31 - Partial synopsis of Saw III, courtesy of Wikipedia2:32 - 29:49 - Does unremitting torture and pain appeal to you?  Then, why not watch Saw III, so you can go through a little of it?  ZING!  You got zinged, Saw III!29:50 - 32:53 - Final judgements.32:54 - 36:57 - The sad bastards recommend.36:58 - 39:00 - THE SHOCKING DENOUMENT!39:01 - 43:00 - Podcasty business, next show teaser, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

In this episode, the team examines the sure-misfire team-up of Jim Carrey and Joel Schumacher. The Number 23.  Meanwhile, in a shocking twist, Simon rails against twist endings; Stuart discusses digital sex (but not in the way you think); and Dan can't quite get a handle on how to name movie characters.0:00 - 0:37 - Introduction and the special Halloween Remix Flop House Theme0:38 - 4:11 - Synopsis of The Number 23, courtesy of Wikipedia4:12 - 34:00 - Wouldn't it be spooky if this segment was TWENTY-THREE MINUTES LONG?  It wouldn't?  Then you've learned the secret of The Number 23.34:01 - 36:40 - Final judgements.36:41 - 40:52 - The sad bastards recommend.40:53 - 44:07 - Next show teaser, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

The Flop House team listens to (and, unfortunately, watches) A Sound of Thunder.  Meanwhile, Simon plans a diamond heist, Stu does a little Edward Burns math, and Dan apologizes for things he didn't do... and the entire gang would rather be watching a film about a crime-fighting dinosaur. 0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme music.0:34 - 2:56 - Synopsis of A Sound of Thunder, courtesy of Wikipedia.2:57 - 32:06 - What is the sound of one thunder clapping?32:07 - 35:51- The sad bastards recommend stuff that doesn't suck.35:52 - 39:49 - Goodbyes, theme music, and outtakes.The Flop House Theme courtesy of Keith Burgun.

In the second episode of The Flop House, the team travels deep into unexplored reaches of the Billy Zane catalogue, to unearth the a repressed (or at least barely theatrically released) Memory.  Meanwhile, Simon contemplates suicide, Stuart can't seem to turn off his phone, and Dan coins a new improv troupe name.0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme music.0:34 - 1:40 - Synopsis of Memory courtesy of Wikipedia.1:40 - 28:19 - Oh, Memory, why can't we forget you?28:19 - 32:56 - The sad bastards recommend stuff that doesn't suck.32:56 - 34:30 - Goodbyes, theme music, and outtakes.The Flop House Theme courtesy of Keith Burgun.