Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion prepares King's Landing for the coming battle...by holding office hours. Jacelyn Bywater continues to tell it like it is. Hallyne is super pumped about productivity increases in wildfire production, and Tyrion won't hear what Shae is trying to tell him. Also - we would all be terrible maids. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion XI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 205

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Be like Cortnay Penrose and stay in your castle if you have flu symptoms. We realize we misunderestimated Shae all along. Chicky has a Sasquatch story even if she won’t share it with us. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion X.   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 204  

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It's Fleet Week in King's Landing, as the Lannisters parade through the city, with predictable results. Jacelyn Bywater is a straight-talking dude. The Kingsguard kind of sucks. And The Hound really, really loves his Stranger. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion IX.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 203

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Renly's dead and the King's Landing crowd isn’t sure how, but are glad he's gone. We lament the plot that did not come to be—Cersei going to Highgarden to negotiate with Olenna for Margaery’s hand (we could have had it all!) A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion VIII Close the Door And Come Here - Episode 202

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Lancel's the George Papadopoulos of Westeros, with the added bonus of a fluffy upper lip and certain doom. Tyrion is the worst, right? It's not just us? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion VII Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 201

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Lancel's got some Peter Brady action going on.Tyrion's a terrible little brother. Is anyone interested in these delicious Wall Scout Cookies? How about some craft butter? Get all of this and more as we don't celebrate our 200th episode. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion VI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 200

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Pro tip from the pyromancers...don't run if you're calling wildfire. Walk very very carefully. A lady could do worse than Cleos Frey, but no one does a Jim Bakker fire and brimstone impersonation like LoT. And, speaking of hell, it must have frozen over because we're kind of defending Cersei. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion V.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 199

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In this special episode, we're thankful that GRRM recognizes that women are people, we just wish they were people who were 5 years older. If we can't have the Winds of Winter, how about the Winds of Women? But really, where ARE all of the middle-aged women, George? Join us as we kick off 2018 with a boot to the patriarchy. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Song of Ice and Feminism. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 198

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  We ponder the most popular shows on Westeros TV and who really needed to smoke some weed. LeBron Targaryen is a kick ass name and Guile knows a little too much about Wisconsin-based serial killers. Shout out to our 14-year old listeners and death by kittens. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Drunkcast 6.0. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 197

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. There's no avocado toast at Pycelle's crappy brunch, but that doesn't stop Tyrion from a little poison theft. Stannis is a stickler at checking references—except when it comes to middle-aged clowns. Were the Blackfish and Jon Arryn secret lovers? Is every character but Brienne a problematic fave? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion IV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 196

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Everyone knows about Jaime and Cersei thanks to Stannis and in a manner eerily reminiscent of a high school clique, Tyrion, Cersei, Littlefinger, and Varys decide how to spin the situation to advantage. GRRM is too busy writing fashion descriptions and that’s why we can’t have nice things. Is Cersei search of a support group? Tyrion has a boner and we’re not allowed to forget it. Also, he’s not nearly as clever as we thought and way more messed up than we realized. Close the Door and Come Here – Episode 195

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion's new cook sounds like a contender on the Westeros version of Top Chef. Jano Slynt can't keep his mouth shut, but still doesn't know when he should start spilling secrets. Varys and Tyrion start their bromance, Bronn reveals his true colors, and we long for an appearance by Ser Myxallyt in The Winds of Winter. George pls. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings Tyrion II Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 194

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Get out your fresh rat kebobs and join Tyrion, Bronn and the boys as they ride in to King's Landing. Tyrbert might be our latest ship, although given Cersei & Tyrion's chemistry, is anyone up for a JCT OT3? Is Varys playing the long game with Barristan Selmy, or is he just trying to annoy us with riddles? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings Tyrion I. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 193

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Will Game of Thrones end with a JB bang or with a Star Wars medal ceremony? Is Cersei the Big Bad coming to take our heroes in the rear? Can Hot Pie Catering handle the big post-victory celebration? Jaime is halfway to hobo and we're not anywhere near halfway to season 8. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones Season 8 Preview 1. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 192

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In this chapter, things have gone South for the Lannister Army. Tywin knows what a vicious thug he has in the Mountain even if he’s all, “he’s just one of my employees. What do you want?” We learn that men in full plate armor do not float (take that, show!) and that game recognizes game. Also we consult the dictionary. No, really. We do. And lastly, no woman wants to be woken up with a boob squeeze. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Tyrion IX. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 191

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We think GRRM should pretend that sex is a suckling pig, while we're all going to pretend that a ruffled bronn is really just a delightfully cheeky bird. Comma goes to the mat for Kevan Lannister, while we discover that his brother Tywin shares Jaime's questionable taste in armor. Chella has an ear abacus, and do the Lannister soldiers have a circle jerk - minus the jerk? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Tyrion VIII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 190

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion brings the mountain clans home to meet his father. They may be gruff and into self-mutilation, but they have democracy and women's equality. Tywin is hot even though he's sporting Mungo Jerry's facial-do. Mia’s asoiaf children's story concept could work- baby dragons and kittens blepping galore. Donkeyleg serenades us with his Big Papa T song. Happy Halloween! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones – Tyrion VII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 189

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. This episode we’re full of realizations: Jerome Flynn pretty much owns the role of Bronn. GRRM is wrong (tune in to find out why), but we totally are the mountain clans, packing up a goat in our inventory for the road. Tyrion appears to be a morning person, but probably not much of a goat milker. Mord should not go to Casterly to get what Tyrion owes him. And in keeping up with the goat theme of this ep, GRRM probably has a greasy goat beard. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones – Tyrion VI. Close the Door and Come Here – Episode 188

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion's got a big mouth and an even bigger negative review in store for The Eyrie on Westero's version of Trip Advisor. Lysa is as unhinged as the Moon Door. We want fanart of Bronn carrying Tyrion, and we want it now. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Tyrion V. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 187

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion plans a sharp lesson for Mohor, Lharys, & Kurleket (we see what you did there GRRM, nyuk nyuk nyuk). Cat learns that she was Petyr's Canadian girlfriend. We hold no ill will toward harp players in general, but we're dying to find out if Marillion's new shadowcat cloak is a tuxedo cat pattern or more of a cow cat thing. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Tyrion IV Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 186

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Welcome to the all-you-can-eat crab leg dinner at The Wall! Alliser Thorne bravely challenges Tyrion to a duel, while Lord Commander Mormont tells us exactly what's going to happen..5 books from now. Also, we still have a more few things to say about Game of Thrones season 7. Hold your aurochs. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Tyrion III Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 185

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. A mind needs a book as Winterfell needs a job fair. Were Benjen Stark & Howland Reed co-authoring Rhaegar & Lyanna fan fiction? The Boltons don't dick around with library late fees. Everyone is Jon's uncle, but were the Targaryens really the Trumps of Valyria? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Tyrion II Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 184

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Meet Tyrion Lannister: Librarian Approved. George, why you burnin' all the bacon? Is it a Westerosi hangover cure? And don't think you can hide that hot Nedbert action from our eagle eyes. Jaime knows a seamstress and isn't afraid to use her, while Joffrey & Cersei are already plotting to kill the Stark pets. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Tyrion I Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 183

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We love everything about Jaime Lannister, except his taste level. Welcome to the Hotel Riverrun, where "trebuchet" is just a really fun word to say. Jaime not only thinks women are (gasp!) people, he also thinks to feel sorry for the Harrenhal bear. Comma won't stop talking about crack and we all agree that fanmixes are serious business (so please send yours in). Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Jaime Lannister Appreciation Episode. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 182

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. As we discuss the entirety of season 7, the silence is deafening as we rake our minds for our favorite moments. We’re quick with grading it, though, and it’s good for D&D that none of us have any pull with HBO. Join us as we discuss Jaime x Bran; hot old zombies, armies of 5-foot girls, and why it’s a bad idea to get between Guile and Pie. We’ve become the Tyrion of his Dance chapters, but good ol New Mexico chili will save us all. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones Season 7 Review. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 181

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We discuss why Pod and Bronn conspicuously exit stage left, wight backpacks, Jon puts on a show to rival shamwow, Qyburn gets a hardon over magic science, Sam steals Gilly’s thunder, Dany, Jon, Jorah, and Tyrion love rhomboid, Rhaegar was not panty dropping hot, and Jaime’s finally going off to fuck loyalty. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones 7x07 "The Dragon and the Wolf." Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 180

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Did the Children of the Corn turn the first White Walkers? There's a thick line between stupid and badass. Chaos isn't a ladder, Jon and Dany's family tree is. Does the Night King have a secret sex dungeon? And better start saving up now to finance that Chicky solo ep. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones 7x06 "Beyond The Wall". Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 179

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Plate armor is buoyant! Who knew? If we see a dragon, we are noping the fuck out. Michele Clapton is a Trekkie. Murder piranhas. Tyrion and Varys vent about their crazy boss at the office watercooler. Viagra crab! Jon has more chemistry with Drogon than Dany. "Faceless man dropout go back to high school.” Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones 7x05 "Eastwatch".   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 178

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Our mailbag is huge and our technical difficulties are annoying. Tiny Arya beats big Brienne. Dragonglass and cave drawings are fine, but why not cave sex? LF is looking for cracks in the Stark sibling relationship, but Bran is basically on crack. More importantly, did we just witness the death of Larry? Will he be reborn from the watery depths as Jaime Lannister? As long as Brienne gets to crown him the queen of love and beauty, we don’t care. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones 7x04 "The Spoils of War". Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 177

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. D&D give the JB fandom a finger up the bum. R.I.P. Jaime Lannister. D&D hardly knew thee. Jon & Davos are doing their best Captain Kirk and Spock on the Enterprise bridge. Cersei's maid is doing her best Romulan and Bran clearly visited a few dispensaries on the road to Winterfell. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones 7x03 "The Queen's Justice". Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 176

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion's rockin' his unemployment beard on Dragonstone's 1-season porch. Sam's rockin' his Biology 101 course, even though he's clearly a history major. Qyburn's rockin' the all-new Maginot Line Anti-Dray-gun Gun (yo). Bobby B rocked some whore's worlds down in the Red Keep basement. Euron may or may not be rockin' his leather pants. But the Sand Snakes? They just manage to annoy us both on land and on sea. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones 7x02 "Stormborn" Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 175

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. What do The Twins have in common with the U.S. Congress? Where did Euron get those pants? Sam's working 9-to-5, and this Sandor/Beric/Thoros story is working for all of us. Dany's homecoming, not so much. Dray-gons can't fix everything. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones 7x01 "Dragonstone" Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 174

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. With season 7 almost here, we’ve got 10 fearless (or perhaps just “wrong”) predictions for the season. Will Jaime and Brienne bang? Will Hot Pie make a reappearance? Who’s going to sit on the Iron Throne? Listen in as we share our hopes, fears, and best guesses. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones Season 7 Preview - 10 Fearless Predictions.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 173

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Listen in delighted horror as we bite the fandom hands that feed us. We discuss canon Jaime and the abomination that is doofus!Jaime. But it doesn’t stop there as we delve into sad Larry Lannister and evil!Jaime, who is in no way having a redemption arc. Watch out for Brienne the Brute! And, because it can’t be said enough, Brienne will never be pretty in pink, no matter how many makeovers the fandom gives her. Boom! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Jaime and Brienne - Fanon vs. Canon.  Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 172

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We may be book snobs, but that doesn't mean GRRM is getting off scot free. We can only care about so many characters - sorry Martells & Greyjoys and Davos!?! GRRM tries to have it both ways with his fantasy world and the real world. Westeros sucks - we get it! We lament the bloat and continual expansion of this brutal world. GRRM keeps opening doors, maybe it's time for him to close the door and come here - with his manuscript. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. We Hate The Books Too Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 171

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Season 7 is just around the corner, so it's time to sharpen our anti-drone spears! In our final season 7 update, we tackle the trailer, get hyped for the small possibility that Cleganebowl is back on the table, wonder why anyone would send a Greyjoy to deal with a banker (do they even know what deposit slips are?) and plan our celebratory drink menu if Jaime and Brienne bang (or kiss, or make hearteyes, or give each other meaningful looks - we're desperate, people!). Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones Season 7 Update #5 Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 170

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Guile created a killer A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones Trivia game. Think you know all your Westeros house words? Think you know whose mom is from what house? Listen as Clotho, Eon, Chicky, and Comma prove that they have barely been paying attention during the last several years of podcasting about this junk. Be sure to play along with our matching online quiz, check our social media for the link! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. ASoIaF & GoT - Trivia Episode. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 169

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. When they go low, we go lower...so let's talk about the Freys! Was the Red Wedding a $5,000 dragon affair, or a $50,000 dragon gala? Either way, the sweet playlists of Roose Bolton & Lame Lothar's Wedding Planners will make your night. But now for a serious question, who was Lady Stoneheart's neck flap holder? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Epilogue Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 168

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Lord Walder Frey and The Chinless Collective cordially invite you to the Red Wedding (the red is for love!). The music is crap (you try playing the lute while sitting on a crossbow) and the food is worse, but at least the reception isn't boring. Sob! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords – Catelyn VII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 167

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We’re not sure how Walder Frey keeps finding wives, but we’re glad he never met Selwyn Tarth. Cat’s got bread, salt, and hip size on the brain. Roose may be an immortal Mike Pence, but at least he’s proud of Ramsay. We wonder if Jaime was Brienne’s chaperone. And everybody needs to listen to their dogs. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords – Catelyn VI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 166

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It’s still raining. The party of the damned is on their last road trip and everything hurts. Catelyn wants Robb to name Ser Random from the Vale as his heir, but he’s not having any of it. We’re positive there’s a will, but does it really matter? How did we miss what was gonna go down the first time we read this? There is good news, though! Tina (cutiepillar-blog on tumblr) is going to Con of Thrones and is looking for other JB shippers! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords – Catelyn V. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 165

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Hoster’s dead, y’all. Tully funerals are kind of like ours except no one is bringing the equivalent of a three-bean salad. Edmure looses his shaft, but can’t finish. And Lame Lothar Frey and Walder Rivers are really expert at good cop/bad cop. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords – Catelyn IV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 164

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. If you were wondering if Lord Karstark could be more of a jerk, the answer is a resounding yes, as his act of pointless vengeance puts Robb in an impossible position. Between the nakedness of Willem Lannister and Tion Frey’s bodies and Jeyne being way too comfortable talking to her new mother-in-law about all the sex she’s having with Robb, it’s an icky chapter. But at least she’s got wide hips. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords – Catelyn III. Chapter summaries from towerofthehand.com were included in this episode. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 163

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Catelyn’s joy at being reunited with Robb fades when she realizes her baby isn’t a virgin anymore. Everyone hates Edmure—the inevitable result of being the youngest sibling? Is Sybell Spicer the shadow Cat of the Westerlings? Also, Stark magical sperm. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords – Catelyn II. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 162

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. After Catelyn Stark pulls out a Hail Mary setting Jaime free, nobody knows what to do with her, certainly not the middle management of Riverrun so they put her up in the poshest suite in the castle (worthy of a five-star review on TripAdvisor were it not for her dying father). Was Lysa’s pregnancy terminated before or after her marriage to Jon Arryn? And just how probable is it that Hoster stayed celibate for two decades? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords – Catelyn I. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 161

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. House Doore’s adventures continue. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Role Playing Game. House Doore - RPG Episode 11. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 160

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. House Doore’s adventures continue. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Role Playing Game. House Doore - RPG Episode 10. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 159

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Larry Lannister rears his ugly head. Does LB have the same appeal as JB? While we're skeptical about what season 7 might hold for Jaime and Brienne, we've come (we know what we said) to look forward to Wallgasm 2017. Is Stone D the new Fat Pink Mast? Find out this and more on our latest Season 7 update. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones Season 7 Update #4. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 158