Ben and Ione discuss people's reaction to Ben's new single "LOVERS"https://open.spotify.com/album/7lNNN3e9IOZxpgWTF7mdRr?si=2qLAS14xRVKv-wbRx0v7ygTo hear the full episode head over to the WEIRDER TOGETHER SUBSTACKhttps://weirdertogether.substack.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Find Your People, Day 1 By Jennie Allen Loneliness. Do you feel it too? That sinking feeling that you aren’t seen, you aren’t known, and you are on your own to face whatever difficult thing life is throwing at you. Do you ever wonder if maybe you’re the only person who feels this alone? You aren’t, by the way. You aren’t alone in feeling alone. I struggle with loneliness more than I like to admit. I’m not good at being needy. I’m needy, just not good at admitting it. And that has consistently damaged my relationships. I’ve hurt people. They’ve hurt me. I have failed my friends. Some have forgiven me, and some have walked away. While I’m doing better than I used to, I’m far from perfect in this area. And yet I’m going to keep working at it. Because the more I look into the why of our neediness and the problem of our loneliness, the more convinced I am that at our core we are made to be fully known and fully loved. Loved and known regularly and over time by family members, close friends, mentors, coworkers. God built us for deep connection to be part of our day-in, day-out lives, not just once in a while in the presence of a paid therapist. In fact, God existed in a relationship with Himself before any of us were here. It’s called the Trinity. God is one, and God is three. Scripture says that the Son exists to glorify the Father and that the Father exists to glorify the Son. It says that the Spirit exists to glorify them both. (See John 16-17.) What that means is that they help each other, they promote each other, they serve each other, and they love each other. What’s more, this exchange has been going on for all eternity. It means that our God has been relational forever. It means that He created us out of a relationship for a relationship—and not a relationship that is surface level or self-seeking. No, the relationship He has in mind for us is a sacrificial, intimate, moment-by-moment connection. Relational. It’s who we are because it’s who God is. In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. Genesis 1:1‭-‬2 And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began. John 17:5 The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Colossians 1:15‭-‬17 God, I need You! And I need others around me. You created me for You and You created me for relationships. What connections are you calling me to today? Amen.

Fellowship Some Christians today view fellowship as optional. Many don't consider belonging to a Christian community as essential to living a Christian life. So many people in the church view fellowship with other believers through a “take it or leave it” mentality. Even Sunday morning worship services are all too often looked at as a “nice to have” or something we “should do if time allows”. This approach to fellowship and community is completely out of step with biblical Christian living. Across the New Testament, it is crystal clear how critical Christian community is to every aspect of our lives as Christians! We as Christians must work to surround ourselves with a community of believers which in turn helps us foster a genuine passion for God during our daily lives. The idea of "power in numbers" has a certain reality to it. When we spend time with other believers, we feel more confident in our faith and more aware of God's presence in our lives. The act of believers coming together, holding one another responsible, and serving as a form of living testimony to one another has a special power. Nothing is more lovely than how the gospel is portrayed in the positive relationships we have as a body of believers. We will undoubtedly experience hurt in this body, but we will also have the chance to forgive. We can experience what it was like for Jesus to be hurt by the people he loved yet continue to love them despite it. The hardest aspect of community is also the aspect that most resembles His life and ministry. It’s time to recognize your God-ordained need for people, and then seek to build relationships with the people God has placed in your life. If you want a sustaining fire for Jesus, you need a network of believers that push you to the cross daily. Who can you reach out to today? Who can you grab a cup of coffee with to fellowship? Who can you simply send a text over to?PrayerThank You, Father, for not referring to me as Your servant but rather as Your friend. Lord, please help me to strengthen my friendships. I need an upgrade in terms of community because my life's season has shifted. I am grateful for the relationships I have had throughout the years, but I yearn to walk with a godly friend toward the life that Jesus has called us to. Keep me away from disparaging remarks about others, dishonest statements, arrogance, and depravity. Please pardon me for these vices and help me to become more like You by daily practicing integrity. So that I can expand my circle of friends and become a draw for godly individuals and bring You glory and much joy, please grant me favor and make me a magnet for them. In Jesus’ Name Amen

Relationships Relationships are a part of all of our lives. Some of them may be healthy, while others aren’t. At times, we may feel closer to people that we’re not related to, and feel distant from those in our own families. Within these relationships, we get to witness the good in the lives of people we love, but we also have to navigate the difficult—like hurt, betrayal, and frustration (to name a few). And the normal way many people respond when these things happen is to withhold forgiveness, seek revenge, and show no mercy. When someone does something that hurts or offends us, we often take it as a personal attack. We assume they meant to hurt us, and at times, people do. But, for the most part, we’re just imperfect people who are just being...imperfect. In addition to how people treat us, we need to examine how we handle relationships on our end. Do we build people up with our words, or do we tear them down? Are we kinder to people who can do something for us in return, or do we treat everyone with honor and respect? Do we typically give ourselves sexually to everyone we date, or are we saving ourselves for our future spouse? The Apostle Paul shares very specific instructions in Romans 12:9-18 about how we should operate in our relationships. He says we’re called to love each other as brothers and sisters, honor one another beyond what we’d give ourselves, share with others who are in need, and possibly the hardest part...not repay with evil when someone wounds us. When it comes to our relationships, let’s look at the contrasting ideas we find in what’s accepted as normal and what could be better than normal: Normal abandons friendships when mistakes are made, but better than normal forgives. Normal allows insignificant issues to create frustration, but better than normal is patient. Normal gives in to temptation, but better than normal chooses purity. Normal argues when there are differences, but better than normal builds bridges. Normal looks out for self, but better than normal thinks of others. Normal makes jokes at others’ expense, but better than normal speaks with respect. Whether our relationships are struggling or not, we know that normal isn’t always a healthy place to be, but it’s more comfortable to us than the unknown. So, let’s choose to be better than normal in how we love and live with the people around us. Do you have relationships in your life that are unhealthy? Think through the people in your life and how you interact with them. Decide what is healthy and what needs to change to ensure your relationships are honoring to God.

Why We Need to Give Grace Years ago, I made a decision to give others the benefit of the doubt, to believe the best in them before assuming the worst. That decision brings a lot of freedom to relationships. It was a choice to wrap my heart around the child-like faith that people aren’t trying to behave poorly, trying to get it wrong or making stupid mistakes on purpose. Here are some definitions for “benefit of the doubt”: 1) The state of accepting something/someone as honest or deserving of trust even though there are doubts 2) To default to a belief that another person’s intentions are honest, and not assume malice when there is uncertainty or doubt surrounding the circumstances. 3) To decide that you will believe someone, even though you are not sure that what the person is saying is true.: 4) The withholding of judgment so as to retain a favorable or at least neutral opinion of someone or something when the full information about the subject is not yet available. 5) A favorable judgment granted in the absence of full evidence. I choose to believe that people can be fragile and that they are trying their best as I know that I try my best. I never intentionally choose poor behavior. Why would I assume that others were? When you give people the benefit of the doubt over and over again it allows you to see the best in others and it brings out the best in yourself. It is living life with a grace and a hope for things to be better. When we live from grace, we make allowances for any of us to have bad days that can lead to bad moments. Life is not perfect, and none of us are either. Giving people the benefit of the doubt can help offset our offendable hearts. It takes us out of the center of our small story and everything being about us. It is a way that we can honor others, even when they may not deserve it. I am simply giving away the gift of grace that God has given to me. And we cannot out-give the Gift-Giver. Do I really think that a friend running late, someone cancelling plans, my husband not emptying the dishwasher, another spouting a short hurtful comment or having a bad mood or a host of many other things, is really some plan against me? Come on. That is completely irrational thinking. The truth is that all of their behaviors are for reasons other than me. It really isn’t a plot against me to irritate my heart. None of us are perfect and we want others to give us the benefit of the doubt as well. If we are to obey the Lord and love the way that scripture tells us to, then we are to never give up hope that we are all learning and becoming better. We can always give the benefit of the doubt. The Lord loves us unconditionally and is so patient with us. He sees our sinful nature and still chooses to extend us grace and new mercies every morning. Don’t you think it’s time we gave each other a break and cut some slack? Imagine the peace if we all started extending the benefit of the doubt? Our offendable heart is a tool of the enemy to rob us of better, more fulfilling relationships. Let go of the offense! Ponder: Do I allow the poor behavior of others to produce an offensive poor response from me? I should consider if they are having a bad day and quickly extend grace. Prayer: Lord, help me to honor others with the same patience and love that You have so generously given to me. Help me extend grace and give others the benefit of the doubt as I am not to judge their behavior because I have been known to behave poorly myself.

Thinking About Thinking Learning to capture our thoughts matters. Because how we think shapes how we live. Lies such as I’m helpless, I’m worthless, I’m unlovable, shape our thinking, our emotions, and the way we respond to the world around us. They trap us in their cycle of distraction and distortion and pain, preventing us from recognizing the truth we should believe. Most detrimentally, they change how we view God. Every lie we buy into about ourselves is rooted in what we believe about God. Let’s say I tend to feel worthless and invisible. And let’s say I read Ephesians 1 and learn that God because He deeply loves me, chooses me and adopts me. Even if I don’t overtly deny the validity of that premise, I still doubt it is true for me. I nod at the truth, but I never fully absorb it and let it shape my identity. Then let’s say I am married to a spouse who is typically distracted with work. I don’t feel seen in our marriage, which confirms my deep-seated fear that I am indeed worthless and invisible. So even in the most inconsequential of arguments with my husband, I feel anxious and start to spin every time he’s short with me. I can’t see all that he has on his shoulders, I can’t empathize with his stresses, and my needs exceed his ability to ever meet them. Before long we are fighting constantly, and we don’t even know why. My husband now has become the enemy in my mind and can’t ever seem to say what I need to hear or be whom I need him to be. And the spiral of my thoughts has now invaded my relationships and robbed me of joy and peace. Until I throw off the lie that God’s love isn’t for me, my emotions, decisions, behaviors, and relationships will remain twisted up in the mistaken belief that I’m worthless. When we begin to think about our thoughts, perhaps for the first time, we can stop the downward spiral. We can reset and redirect them. That’s our hope. Not that we would wrestle each and every fear, but that we would allow God to take up so much space in our thinking that our fears will shrink in comparison. Lord, I want You and Your truths to reign in my mind! Amen.

What matters most? Life is all about love. Life without love is really worthless. Love leaves a legacy. Relationships are what life is all about and the best expression of love is time. Your time is the greatest gift you can give.