Tamara Raymond, author of Careering,  joins us to discuss how teens can get a head start on career development while they’re still in high school. We talk about how teens can build a professional network, find their passion, and handle the job application process.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full show notesTeens these days are expected to have everything figured out by the time they finish high school–which is a nearly impossible task. Even though they're only taking their first wobbly steps into maturity, it seems like they’ve got to have their college major, future career and financial life plan all worked out by the time they turn 18!Needless to say, they’re going to need a lot of help if they’re going to make it out there in the real world. As parents, we want to assist our kids as they transition into adulthood–so how can we help teens start making smart career decisions when they’re still living under our roofs? Is there a way we can prepare them to go into adult life with their best foot forward?That’s what we’re asking Tamara Raymond, author of Careering: The Pocket Guide to Exploring Your Future Career. Tamara is a certified leadership coach and career strategist with over 15 years of experience helping people become their best selves! Today, she’s helping us see how teens can get a headstart on career development before they reach adulthood.In our interview, we’re covering how teens can start  discovering their passions and how they can build a professional network with resources they already have! Plus, how parents can guide teens through job and internship applications–and help them handle rejection.Finding Passion and PurposeTo find out what they’re passionate about, Tamara recommends teens try anything and everything. Luckily, high school is the perfect time to do so! Signing up for lots of extracurriculars and activities is a good way to start figuring out where their purpose lies.Plenty of kids pick extracurriculars with the singular goal of getting into college, only to find themselves transferring schools or changing their major three times once they get in. While this isn’t inherently bad, it can cost a lot of time and money, says Tamara. High school gives teens more wiggle room to try on different potential career paths and see what fits, she explains.In the episode, Tamara and I talk about a concept called “indepent study,” in which teens can explore their interests on their own outside of school. If a teen is interested in learning a language, working with animals, or developing a skill, high school is a great time for teens to create their own “program” and dive into these topics  on their own time.Volunteering is another good way to not only get experience for a first resume, but also try out different possible career opportunities, Tamara explains. Teens can try volunteering at an animal clinic, at the local hospital, or even serving food nearby to see if they’re interested in one of those fields. They’ll never know until they try, Tamara says.When teens get involved in their interests outside of school, this often creates space for a mentor to enter the picture. Tamara and I are talking about how teens can find mentorship or even develop a professional network while they’re still in high school.Building a NetworkCreating a professional network doesn't have to include fancy conventions or Linkedin–it can start within your own family, Tamara explains. If teens reach out to uncles, aunts, cousins or family friends, they might find that there are plenty of interesting connections to be made. Maybe an aunt knows someone who works in radio, or a cousin heard about an internship program for aspiring designers. Whatever their interest, teens might be surprised to find out how many connections are already available to them, says Tamara.She also recommends that if teens are taking part in extracurricular and volunteer opportunities, that they make time to talk to those around them. These people can offer great insights or advice about life, or even help teens get a job one day. If teens are able to score an internship or entry-level job at a company they hope to work for one day, building a network there should be one of their biggest priorities. That way, if they ever return, they’ll already have relationships in the organization, Tamara explains.The internet can also be a powerful tool, particularly social media, says Tamara. Although we often see the negative side of social media, there can be benefits as well, if it’s used right, she says.  Teens should make sure to watch what they post however, as certain comments might get them in trouble in the future, she warns. There are plenty of examples of this among celebrities, and teens might learn a lesson or two about posting impulsively from paying attention to these stories in the news.As teens get older, they’ll find themselves applying for more and more things, including jobs, interviews, scholarships or even colleges. Tamara and I are talking about how you can guide teens through tough application processes and even help them face rejection.Facing the Application ProcessThe job search process has changed over time, and continues to change, Tamara says. Gone are the days of simply waltzing in and handing over a resume–most applications, networking, and job opportunities are online now. This can come with a whole host of new problems, says Tamara. Zoom interviews can be troubled by bad connections, background noise or technical problems. Emails can be full of typos, scheduling apps can get confusing, and the internet can simply be less personal. Kids are up against all of these problems as they move into the professional world, but Tamara’s got some tips for handling it.The most important tip for handling the world of digital mix ups? Just be honest, says Tamara. If teens are having problems with Zoom, they shouldn’t ignore it, but instead acknowledge it. Talking about these problems can be a good way to help teens be present in the moment, instead of tense or scared or making mistakes. In the episode, Tamara shares the story of a time when her stomach wouldn’t stop growling in an interview, but acknowledging it actually helped her get the job.How can parents help? Tamara says pushing teens to leave their comfort zone can be a start. Teens might not always be quick to believe in themselves, and that’s where they need parents to step in and provide some encouragement.Tamara also recommends that we create an aura of fun around the process instead of turning up the pressure. Teens are likely going to face a lot of rejection, and a light-hearted approach will help them bounce back when things get tough. In the episode Tamara and I talk more about how you can help teens handle the sting of rejection.In the Episode…Tamara has plenty of helpful career advice, no matter where your teen is at in their journey. On top of the topics discussed above, we also talk about:Why teens should double check their reference lettersHow teens can make the most of scholarshipsWhy it's important to ...

Jo Wimble Groves, author of Rise of the Girl, shines light on how we can encourage teen girls to chase their dreams. Plus, she shares how to help all teens to find their passions, take risks and learn from failure—no matter their gender.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full show notesOur hope is that kids will shoot for the stars, dream big, and believe they can do anything they put their mind to. We encourage them to be ambitious, hardworking, and self assured. But sometimes, even when we act as their biggest cheerleaders, teenagers–especially teenage girls–can struggle with confidence! Kids are up against a lot these days, and young women face extra barriers despite years of fighting for equality. In many ways, these barriers are subtle, small forces within our culture. They aren’t written into our laws or taught in school curriculum, but they’re working against the ability of our teen girls to grow into the powerful individuals they were destined to be. It’s in the way adults tell young girls to be quiet and polite while letting boys run wild, or how we might comment a little more on the way our daughters look than our sons. But it doesn't have to be that way! If we can learn to inspire our girls instead of inhibiting them, we can encourage all our teens to follow their dreams.This week, we’re joined by Jo Wimble Groves, author of Rise of the Girl: Seven Empowering Conversations To Have With Your Daughter. On top of being a mom of three, Jo is also a successful tech entrepreneur as the co-owner of the global mobile communications company Active Digital. As she climbed the ladder to success, Jo felt that she didn’t always have the right role models or encouragement. Now, her goal is for today’s teens to feel like they can do anything they aspire to do, no matter their gender.In our interview, Jo and I are discussing why we still have to fight for our daughters to have an equal chance at success! We’re also talking about how you can help any teenager find their passion, and how we can encourage teens to be comfortable with failure while on the road to figuring out their life’s purpose.Why Our Girls Need a Confidence BoostTeen girls today aren’t always encouraged to be the confident, outspoken people we know they can be–and it shows. In the episode, Jo and I talk about how boys are willing to raise their hand in class, even when they’re only sixty percent sure they know what they’re talking about. Meanwhile, on average, girls won’t raise their hands at all unless they are 100% they have the answer–and even then they’re reluctant! Girls often feel an overwhelming pressure to be perfect, or have a fear of judgment so powerful that they stay quiet, says Jo.Jo explains that this might be due to our tendency to encourage young women to be “good girls”. While we often tell boys to run free and play, we’re more cautious with letting our daughters do the same thing. We might view them as more fragile or naive, praise them for being quiet and unobtrusive. And while it’s important to protect and praise our kids, Jo believes that the way we speak to our daughters might be doing more harm than good.As kids grow older, this double standard often doesn’t change. Girls are told to be careful what they post online, how they dress, and how or express themselves, because we fear they’ll send the wrong message to predatory men or boys. But we often don’t have conversations with young men about how to be respectful towards women, says Jo. If we want to work towards a more equal and just society, we have to have conversations with young men too. In the episode, Jo and I talk about how we can have these kinds of talks with our sons.Whether we’re talking to our sons or our daughters, we hope to guide them to not only impart values, but also help them find their passion. Helping Teens Find their SparkJo is an incredibly successful business woman, but before entering the professional world, she often struggled in school. For a long time, Jo felt that perhaps she lacked intelligence…but eventually discovered that her brilliance lay outside of academics! Every teen has something they’re naturally talented at, but it might not always be obvious right away. That’s why Jo encourages parents to sign their kids up for anything and everything. In our interview, Jo and I talk about how the teenage years are a time to explore and experiment! The stakes are pretty low, and if a teen doesn’t like something, they can easily try something else instead! If teens are lucky, all this experimenting will lead them to find what Jo describes as a “spark”: something that they love, that excites them endlessly and propels them into making the world a better place. Jo stresses that if we don’t encourage our teens, especially our daughters, to take risks, they may never find this spark!When kids are in the process of discovering what they’re meant to do, they tend to quit a lot of things. It can be frustrating when they commit to the swim team for the whole year and even drag you to the store to buy a new racing swimsuit…but then suddenly don’t want to go to practices.  However, if teens are forced to keep doing something they don’t love, it might be holding them back from discovering what they do love. As Jo says in the episode, putting this kind of pressure makes teens “dreadfully unhappy”, and can put some serious strain on your relationship.For teens and parents still figuring it all out, there’s bound to be some failure along the way. However, Jo and I talk about how failure is one of the best ways to get to success!How Failure Leads to ProgressIn our interview, Jo shares an interesting idea about how we can address failure in a productive way. When kids are trying over and over again to get something right, they might get frustrated. But Jo suggests we frame their fumbled attempts not as one-off failures, but as steps in the right direction! Instead of telling them they’ve gotten it wrong, Jo says, we should suggest that they just haven't gotten it right yet. This helps them see why they shouldn’t give up after being met with obstacles, but instead persevere until they get the result they desire!Jo explains that this can be shown through example, with parents being vulnerable enough to show kids that they too, make mistakes. It’s not always easy, especially when we're trying to be the perfect parent–but the perfect parent doesn’t exist, says Jo. Showing kids that we can bounce back when we get knocked down can be a totally critical part of teaching them the skills to survive life. Plus, putting up a flawless facade isn’t going to make you a better parent, says Jo…..it’ll just make you more stressed out!For young women, this kind of encouragement can be especially important. Women are constantly faced with the challenge of smashing stereotypes in male-dominated subjects and activities–meaning they’re expected never to mess up! If we can help them see the value in failing as a part of the road to success, they might feel more comfortable trying new things, messing up and improving until they’re prospering at their passion....

Alexis Rockley, author of Find Your F*ckyeah, sat down with me this week to talk about how you can help your teen find their groove, their vibe, their f*ckyeah--the things that gets them popping out of bed in the morning, ready to take on the world. It’s sort of like “purpose” but will cause a lot less eyerolls…If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full show notesI’m sure you remember going to high school, but do you remember how it felt? The crushing pressure to define yourself, the need to fit in with your classmates, and the stress of meeting all the expectations of adults and teachers. “What do you want to do with your life?” they ask. But, at sixteen, no one really knows! Our lives pan out in unexpected ways, full of twists, turns, and mistakes that help pave our road to success. And that’s exactly what our teens should expect when ‘planning’ for the future.It’s healthy for teenagers to recognize that they don’t need to know everything about themselves by age 18. But nowadays, with social media emphasizing the importance of personal branding and colleges putting pressure on teenagers to perform perfectly, teens can feel boxed in. They feel they need to know exactly who they are and what they want…ASAP! And they may get the message that their life must be one clean story with no zigs, zags, or misdirection. This limiting belief is detrimental in a world that is full of fast-paced change.Paradoxically, change is the most consistent part of human experience. Every day, we learn more about ourselves and make adjustments accordingly. And experimenting, failing, and adjusting is how we figure out what makes us happy, what motivates us to get out of bed each morning with a clarity of “purpose,” or, for those who are rolling their eyes at “purpose,” our “f*ck yeah!” That’s what shapes the teenage identity.Alexis Rockley, author of Find Your F*ckyeah: Stop Censoring Who You Are and Discover What You Really Want, sat down with me this week to talk about how you can help your teenager find their themselves and break out of restricting stereotypes. Rockley, who humbly describes herself as a “nerd who loves research,” is leading a movement to help young people find their “purpose” and “joy” in life…but in a cool way.Alexis knows everything about what shapes the teenage identity. She has spent years studying and working with experts in the field of positive psychology and her book unpacks the science and psychology in an accessible way to help people find their “f*ckyeah.”In this interview, Rockley walks me through her method of breaking down what shapes the teenage identity. She says that one of the most important aspects of raising well-adjusted, go-getter teens is to debunk the falsehood that “adults know everything.”The Science of “Limiting Beliefs”Drawing from her own twisting and turning journey Rockley delivers the science behind teens’ limiting beliefs. A limiting belief is something your brain decides is a fact based on our emotional relationship to it. It’s also a big factor in what shapes the teenage identity. Think of it like your emotions telling you what’s true or false. It’s like if your child grows up in a culture of body-shaming, they might have adverse feelings toward cake.Limiting beliefs can be formed at a subliminal level, which is why it’s dangerous to place too much emphasis on setting teens up for a one-track career at a young age. For example, many parents ask their teens what they’re going to be, thinking that it will give their child goals to work towards early on. But there are limiting underlying psychological affects that children inherit when parents pose this question.When you ask your teen, “What are you going to be?” there is an implication that their future job is what shapes the teenage identity. Teens feel the need to have a ready answer, one that they have to stick to no matter what, because they don’t know to distinguish between their professional and personal self. Statements like, “I will be a doctor,” then become a restrictive personality type.Once teens pick a personality type, their family and peers might show surprise or even ridicule them if they veer from the standard behaviors. Athletic students can never dye their hair and aspiring lawyers can’t branch out into the sciences. Business students shouldn’t waste their time doing theatre. But Rockley provides parents with a strategy to help uncover what shapes the teenage identity without setting up restrictive boundaries.Avoiding Restrictive BoundariesAccording to Rockley, teens can break out of restrictive thinking by making their limiting beliefs conscious. If parents and kids are able to step back and observe what shapes the teenage identity, they can make more informed and passionate decisions about what makes them say, “f*ck yeah!” Rockley goes over several tactics in the podcast to help your teen find themselves.One method that we talk about is adjusting how you ask your child about what they will do in the future. Helpful questions about what shapes the teenage identity should address the reality of change and the different personalities your teen might express over time.Questions such as, “Who are you inspired by? Who do you look up to? What aspects of these influences excite you?” start to facilitate a conversation around a diverse set of interests and aspirations. Aspirations that live more closely to your teen’s multifaceted personality and have that “f*ck yeah” feeling.Rockley’s method helps teenagers unlearn the idea that a definitive vocation exists. Since there’s no way to tell someone what their purpose is, teens should be open to the idea that their interests can change at any moment in their life. This better prepares teens for a more fluid future. A future that supports a chemistry undergraduate student who realizes their true calling is in the local bakery.Building The “F*ckyeah” EnvironmentWhen you ask, what shapes the teenage identity, the environment is a sensible answer. Using Rockley’s “f*ckyeah” approach, parents can help their teens find themselves by creating an environment where problem-solving is the object of focus, not performing an identity. There will always be problems to solve -whether it’s managing customers or figuring out chemistry equations in a lab- so the question is, “Which problems does your teen want to solve?” This framing can help teens adjust and explore what activities they truly want to engage in.Rockley also speaks to me about how parents can help teens navigate our “factory school system” and set themselves up for the modern workplace. In the podcast, she gives great tips on how to expose your teenager to environments that value creativity and problem-solving skills, instead of simply following rote instructions. To get the full details of Rockley’s scientific approach to discovering what shapes the teenage identity, you’ll have to tune in and listen.In addition to what shapes the teenage identity, we cover:How to get your teen excited about their futureThe harmful effects of reprimands and negative reinforcementThe tricky science of ‘limiting beliefs’ in teens and young adultsThe need for personal branding…And how personal branding could be negatively influencing who your teen isAl...

Barbara Schneider, co-author of “Becoming Adult”, speaks with Andy about her research on how teens’ environment can influence their thoughts and beliefs on college, work, and what’s possible for them. If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full show notesHere’s a surprising fact: most teens have NO idea what they want to do when they “grow up.” And even the ones who do have no idea how to get there. Unfortunately, this can make it more difficult for teens to get through college in in concise timeframe and find their place in the world. Luckily, we can help you understand how to help your teenager find their passion.Having a vocation can mean a world of difference when it comes to helping your teen prepare for the future. A strong passion can make clear the steps your child needs to take in order to succeed in a competitive world. However, teens often view the tasks they have to complete -like math homework or going to college- as work, something that they have to do because they’re told to it. Without meaning or purpose, your teenager’s responsibilities become synonymous with another way to pass the time.So, how are you supposed to know how to help your teenager find their passion when It’s hard for them to distinguish between what they have to do and what they want to do. This can deter adolescents from engaging their responsibilities and prevent them from looking to the future with excitement. They may grow frustrated at having to switch jobs every two years – and in turn it makes their parents question if their teen will ever find their place in the workforce. That’s why the focus of our Talking to Teens podcast this week is vocational preparation and how to help your teenager find their passion.This week I spoke with Barbara Schneider, researcher and author of Becoming Adult: How Teenagers Prepare for the World of Work about career opportunities, planning for the future, and how foster a productive environment for kids. She is a distinguished professor in the College of Education and Department of Sociology at Michigan State University and the co-author of 15 books, numerous journal articles, and previous editor of Educational Evaluation and Policy Analysis and Sociology of Education. If anyone knows how to help your teenager find their passion, it’s Barbara.Barbara’s research and teaching focus on understanding teen psychology. More specifically, how the social contexts of schools and families influence the academic and social well-being of adolescents as they move into adulthood. With a particular emphasis on improving educational opportunities for students with limited economic and social resources, her research can show you how to help your teenager find their passion.In the book, she conducted a study following teenagers’ journey from high school into adulthood. By focusing on how entering college shifted their perceptions of work, Schneider found that exposing teens to different experiences is how to help your teenager find their passion. Primarily, we talk about the exposure of two key insights:What Kinds of Jobs Actually ExistBalanced Perspective (Outlook) to WorkDuring our conversation, Barbara clued me in on how to help your teenager find their passion through exposure to broad career opportunities and a mindset prepared for the future. We also discuss the concept of work “flow,” the Path Model schematic, and different ways to access these focal points with your teen so that you can explore their vocation together. Here’s how it works:Can you See the Future from Where You’re At?A primary unanticipated reason why teenagers don’t know what to do in life is because they aren’t aware of what’s out there. How are you supposed to know that you really wanted to be a film editor or a biochemist if you didn’t know those jobs existed in the first place? The answer is, you don’t! For parents, knowing how to help your teenager find their passion starts with exposing your kids to what kinds of jobs actually exist. Teens need to be made aware of all the potential options that are available to pursue because their vocation could be hiding among them.Exploring different kinds of occupations can help your teen identify a career they’re passionate about by following paths that experts have created in their respective fields. According to Schneider, one place you can take actionable steps to locate mentors and widen your teen’s sphere of information is within your own community!It’s a good idea to start broadening your teen’s awareness of careers with local options. There are shared cultural values and cognizance in communities that your child might find accessible. This might mean doing outreach in your community through basic web searches, visiting local business centers, and paying regular visits to the library, a popular cultural hub for organizing. You can also speak directly with others at communal events like concerts, holiday gatherings, and art showcases.Schneider suggests that niche communities are also a good place to expose your teen to more opportunities because they’re more likely to find experts who are passionate about what they do. She says it’s how you can get connected to people who are animators or engineers, artisan experts with insight into a particular craft.Specialists can be found locally in almost any trade and truly educate you on how to help your teenager find their passion with the know-how they’ve acquired through experience. They can inform you about what programs and prerequisites your child should pursue, further exposing your teen to new potential interests.Exposure to experts in their field is another way that teens can learn about what options are even open to them and how to pursue those interests. Consequently, exposing your teen to broad opportunities is how to help your teenager find their passion and the actionable steps to pursue it.What Does Your Teen Feel About Work?Knowing how to help your teenager find their passion can only be accomplished if you know what their relationship to work is like. In the podcast, Barbara classifies teens into several categories that can help us understand how teens interpret their responsibilities. Chief among these classifications are “the workers” and “the players.”According to Barbara, workers want straight A’s and will put in the effort to get there. However, someone with a labor-intensive mindset might view their responsibilities according – work! This perspective might minimize someone’s passion for their responsibilities because they conceive agendas as a series of necessary tasks. Think of this personality as the opposite of Emerson’s proverb, “It’s not the destination. It’s the journey.” A worker is all about the destination.If you’re a player, all you want to do is have a good time! Players might make the most of their situation and look for a silver lining in their tasks, but they don’t perceive their workloads as such. They don’t really consider the consequences of their actions in a serious way and therefore lack a consistent ability to plan ahead.Exposing your teens to a balance between the two perspectives can transform how your teen comprehends their duties. When you can find a way to make it so that your interests became your main source of self-sufficiency, you’d be both excited for your job as we...