Selena Rezvani, author of Quick Confidence, joins us to discuss misperceptions around confidence and resilience. We learn the counterintuitive role vulnerability and authenticity have in raising confident teens.If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full Show NotesRaising teenagers in today’s world comes with its unique set of challenges - among them, helping our teens navigate the tightrope of self-confidence. Often, society pushes a surface-level idea of confidence, emphasizing a façade of fearlessness and bravado. However, true confidence—rooted in authenticity, vulnerability, and self-expression—offers a more meaningful and resilient foundation for our teens as they journey toward adulthood.Today, we're thrilled to be joined by Selena Rezvani, a renowned speaker, content creator, and commentator on leadership, and the author of the insightful book, "WIC Confidence." Selena brings a fresh perspective on building genuine confidence that celebrates individuality and encourages connection.First Impressions and AuthenticityWe start with a conversation on the pressures teens face to conform in new situations and how striving for positive first impressions often leads to hiding their true selves. Selena offers practical advice on breaking the ice and forming connections without sacrificing authenticity. The discussion includes actionable tips for parents on guiding their teens through these social dynamics.The Power of OutfitsSelena introduces us to the concept of a "power outfit" and how attire can significantly influence confidence levels. We explore how teens can identify clothing that makes them feel powerful and authentic, crafting a personal style that boosts their confidence.Acts of Non-ComplianceIn a world that often demands conformity, standing out can be daunting for teens. Selena discusses the importance of acts of non-compliance as a form of self-expression and authenticity. This segment provides parents with strategies to support their teens in embracing and showcasing their unique identities, even when it challenges societal norms.Handling Toxic RelationshipsNavigating relationships is a critical part of adolescence. Selena shares insights into recognizing and dealing with toxic people, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say no. We delve into practical ways parents can equip their teens with the skills to protect their energy and prioritize their well-being in all types of relationships.Additional Topics CoveredThe role of vulnerability in true confidence Strategies for teaching teens to stop over-apologizing Encouraging teens to view themselves as experts in their passions The underestimated power of silence in communication Fostering a mindset that embraces failure as a growth opportunitySelena Rezvani’s expertise offers parents, teachers, and anyone involved in a teenager’s life valuable insights on fostering an environment where authentic confidence can flourish. Join us in this enlightening conversation as we dive into practical tools and mindset shifts that support our teens in becoming truly confident individuals.Listen to the episode and subscribe to Talking to Teens for more insights into the art of parenting teenagers.Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Tom Vanderbilt, author of Beginners, discusses with us how parents can inspire their teenagers to be more confident in trying new things by being lifelong learners themselves. Turns out, being an expert beginner has its advantages!If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full show notes As parents, it's easy to get into a rut of only doing things we're already good at, or activities we've been doing for years. Yet our teens are essentially beginners at everything. And sometimes it becomes difficult to encourage them to try new things. Being a beginner can get old quickly—it’s hard work!One of the biggest challenges parents may face is encouraging their teenager to step outside of their comfort zone. It's easy to get stuck in routines and habits, and teenagers are no exception. The problem is that this can lead to a lack of confidence in trying new things and can hinder their long-term growth and development. This can leave parents—who maybe haven’t been beginners in a long time—unsure of how to best help their teens.To understand this, I spoke this week with Tom Vanderbilt, author of Beginners: The Joy and Transformative Power of Lifelong Learning.  As a parent himself, Tom found that he was spending a lot of time on the sidelines watching his daughter try new things and learn new skills. It wasn't until he realized that he wasn't doing the same for himself that he decided to become a beginner again. This sparked his journey into exploring the benefits of being a beginner and how it can positively impact parenting.In our interview, Tom points out it’s important for parents to get out of their ruts and try new things because they are the primary role models for their teenagers. If parents are stuck in their own ways and not willing to try new things, it sends a message to their teens that it's okay to do the same. On the other hand, if parents are willing to step out of their comfort zones and try new things, it shows their teens that it's never too late to learn and grow.Tom suggests a handful of perspectives and outlooks parents can try to help their teens try new things. First, embrace being a beginner. As parents, sometimes it feels like we have to have all the answers for our kids. But it's okay to not know everything and be a beginner. In fact, embracing being a beginner can be a positive experience for both parents and their teenagers. It can help parents model resilience and perseverance when faced with challenges, and show their teens that it's okay to struggle with something new.Secondly, Tom says parents can use being a beginner as an opportunity to bond with their teenagers. Taking on challenges together can be a fun and rewarding experience for both parties, and can help parents and teens build stronger relationships. It can also help parents understand the challenges their teenagers face when trying new things, and provide a supportive environment for them to grow and learn. Plus, mustering through a challenge together can create lasting memories and missteps to laugh about together later. Being a beginner is not only important for personal growth but also for parenting. By embracing being a beginner and taking on challenges together, parents can inspire their teenagers to be more confident in trying new things and can build stronger relationships with them.In the interview, we also discussed several other topics, including:The advantages of the beginner’s mindsetThe importance of the process over the outcome when learning something newWhy college students are like kindergartners How to leverage a growth mindset to overcome fear of failureIt was so fun speaking with Tom, and a blast to learn from Beginners of all kinds in his book! To follow along with what Tom is up to, check out links in his bio. Thanks for listening and we’ll catch you next week.  Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

This week Margo sits down with lettering artist Lynn Giunta. Lynn has been with Hallmark Cards for 37 years and discovered her fascination for cutting letters by hand during her tenured journey. She has always been drawn to positive phrases and never tires of seeing kind messages come to life. Lynn is also a graphic designer and children’s book illustrator and she and Margo discuss finding inspiration, stepping out of comfort zones when called to, and finding joy in opportunities you maybe didn’t see for yourself.   Margo and Lynn also share in: Lynn’s family history of creating things by hand The art teacher that changed things for her and the lightbulb moment that began her career path Calligraphy and the art of making words How she lost her creative practice because she wasn’t doing creative work outside of work (and then found it again) The importance of getting good at listening and understanding the voice inside your head How she got the opportunity to illustrate a children's book Building confidence through repetition And more   Lynn is a maker of things, creating happy art and positive words with scissors and cut paper. She is always looking for the magic in the scraps and unexpected pieces left behind and she hopes her art inspires and encourages you.   Mentioned in this episode: Morgan Harper Nichols Poppy Dodge Terry Runyan   Connect with Lynn: Follow Lynn on Instagram Follow Lynn on Etsy

Lydia Fenet, author of The Most Powerful Woman in the Room is You, talks about the top skills young people need to become confident, successful adults who can command any room they walk into--or at least, how they can shine in their own strength. One key? Practice failing...a lot!If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full show notesTeenagers are inclined to worry about everything—the phones they have, the clothes they wear, the clique they belong to. They think everything they do will give others a reason to judge them. And unfortunately these insecurities prevent teens from achieving their goals. They’re so afraid of judgement and failure that they’d rather not try at all.As a parent who was once a teen, you can’t help but empathize with them. There may have been a myriad of opportunities you’ve missed out on in your teens because you were too afraid to try them. But the lifetime of experiences you’ve had since your youth has taught you that the things you were afraid of then were miniscule in comparison to the much scarier things you’d eventually accomplish in life. It’s hard to watch your child hold themselves back from things you know they are capable of.In this episode, Lydia Fenet, author of the book The Most Powerful Woman in the Room is You: Command an Audience and Sell Your Way to Success, offers parents advice on raising confident, successful teenagers who know how to command a room. The lead Benefit Auctioneer at Christie’s Auction House in New York City, Lydia knows exactly how it feels to be on top and how to fail! From her own personal success and challenges, Lydia has discovered the top lessons we can teach teens to set them up for success: value of a dollar, the perks of being a good loser, and the secret to successful negotiation.Failing with GraceSay your teen wants to audition for the school musical—as a freshman. Sure they’ve been taking singing lessons for a year, and they played elf number 3 in their Christmas play, but you’re pretty sure they aren’t going to get in. So should you just be honest with them and say “honey, I just don’t want you to get your hopes up.” Lydia says no! Discouraging your kids from trying new things, even if they end up failing, is the best way to stunt their curiosity for life.Lydia shares how she auditioned for her boarding school choir two years but never got in. She was also on a basketball team that lost every single game for four years straight. What did she take away from all this? That losing isn’t half bad. In fact, it’s a part of life that teens should get used to. Lydia believes in encouraging kids to try new things without the pressure to excel. If they end up failing, so what? They’ll see that failing isn’t half bad. In fact, failing is just a step on their way to finding what they love. Failing is a character-building exercise for teens to become more humble and well rounded.Shameless PlugsLydia believes that no one can tell you what you’re good at better than you can. That being said, she recognizes that the confidence to sell yourself to people isn’t instinctive in your teen years. Lydia discusses how in our society, we are taught to shy away from boasting about our skills and accomplishments. That anyone who goes against this is deemed arrogant or ostentatious. This particularly applies to women in the workplace, who are often taught to be meek when making salary requests.Lydia calls for an abolishment of these self-effacing tendencies. When your teen is in an afterschool club and the advisor asks “Is there anyone who specializes in [insert skill that they happen to kick ass in]?”, they should be the first to raise their hand. Why? Because the early bird gets the worm. Being too humble can get in the way of countless opportunities. The pick of the litter doesn’t go to the person who’s most capable. It goes to the person who’s most willing to put themselves out there. Lydia urges parents to teach their teens to freely share what makes them special. To tell people “Yes, I am the 1st string wide receiver on the varsity football team. Yes, I am taking 4 AP classes. Yes, I am fluent in two languages.”It’s not bragging, it’s sharing what they’re most proud of. And doing so can bring them opportunities they’d never imagine. Your teen has worked too hard at building their college resume to not take advantage of opportunities to flex their skills. It doesn’t make them a show off or attention hog. It makes them a valuable asset to whatever club, team, or person they’re offering their skills to.You Are What You NegotiateLydia encourages parents to teach teens about finances and money at an early age. Lydia does this with her own teens by pointing out costs at the grocery store and encouraging them to save up for items they really want. The point is to show her kids that everything in this world costs money. If teens never have to work for what they want because their parents will just buy it for them, they’ll never fully comprehend the value of a dollar.Lydia resents people's tendency to undervalue themselves when asking for a raise. She particularly resents that the gender wage gap exists partially because women are taught to be apologetic when asking for raises. This apologetic mindset is programmed at an early age and can be prevented when parents intervene. Lydia insists that parents of teenage girls teach them to be confident when asking for things. When you teach your daughters to be thoroughly prepared and unemotional going into a negotiation, you’ve raised their chances of getting the wage they deserve.To drive this point home, Lydia shares a story of when she started an auction bid at $100,000. Nobody in the room responded to the starting bid and she was absolutely mortified. But instead letting her insecurities affect her, Lydia improvised by saying “A girls gotta ask.” She was able to get a chuckle out of the audience and resume the auction unphased. The takeaway from this tale is that embarrassment and failure are never as bad as you think it’ll be. If you prepare your teens for the awkward and unsuccessful moments that’ll inevitably happen in life, they’ll be more willing to put themselves out there. Gracefully dealing with these misfortunes will bring them more confidence and urge them to dive into new pursuits fearlessly.In the Episode...I had a wonderful time speaking with the extraordinarily charismatic Lydia Fenet for this week's episode. Her experience rising in the ranks to become the busiest auctioneer in America is inspiring for adults and teens alike. I truly appreciated her willingness to share insightful tips on raising teens that are confident, capable, and independent.In this week's episode we also discuss…Public Speaking and Building an Onstage PersonaHow to Slide into the DMs of Important PeopleHow to Have a Memorable and Successful Job InterviewFighting Stage FrightTips for Effective NetworkingThank you Lydia for taking time away from your busy schedule to offer insightful advice for parents. Please enjoy as you learn how to raise your teens confidence and teach them to command a room. Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

Lindsay Sealey, author of Growing Strong Girls and “girl advocate” speaks with me this week about how to help your daughter find, understand, and value her own voice. With girls receiving so many conflicting external messages, it is vital we help them strengthen their internal self!If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! Full show notesMixed Messages“Be yourself,” “know that you are strong because you are a girl,” “stand up for yourself,” “don’t let the man get you down.” These platitudes are constantly thrown at girls to assure them that they’ve got everything it takes to rule the world and make all their dreams come true. Though well meaning, these sentiments are made redundant by unrealistic expectations to look pretty at all times, know how to attract and please men, and be accommodating and polite to everybody. In order to encompass all of these values, you would literally have to be perfect. And that’s, like, really hard to do.Girls are constantly presented with conflicting messages on social media, at school, on TV—even at home. It’s confusing enough for full-grown women to know how to act in the face of all these contradictory pressures, so for girls who are just entering into teendom it feels almost impossible. In order to give tips on helping your teenage daughter build confidence, parents have to effectively combat the pressures placed on her by society. They must also help her confront the drama and growing pains of adolescence in a logical manner. Needless to say, being a teenage girl, or a parent to one, is no walk in the park.Teenage and preteen girls are in an incredibly vulnerable stage of their lives. They’re extremely susceptible to the influence of their peers and the outside world. So how do you give tips on helping your teenage daughter build confidence if you feel that the influence of others is greater than that of their own parents? Author, CEO, and Professional “Girl Advocate” Lindsay Sealey can tell you how. Sealey wrote the book Growing Strong Girls: Practical Tools to Cultivate Connection in the Preteen Years and has been running workshops with young girls to help develop their own sense confidence and self-worth for fifteen years. In this interview she offers tons of practical tips on helping your teenage daughter build confidence by showing parents how they can successfully connect with, support, and influence their teen girls to believe in themselves despite societal pressures.What a Girl WantsIt’s not always about what a girl wants but what a girl needs. Let’s face it, some teenage girls want a lot—popularity, money, lots of followers on Instagram, an expensive new car (the last of which they’re definitely not getting). This vapid list of necessities comes from the constant stream of messages society and pop culture throw at them. As parents, some tips on helping your teenage daughter build confidence might be “these things don’t matter” and “one day you might be happy that you didn’t get everything you wanted.” Lindsay Sealey says when parents respond this way, they aren’t actually recognizing their daughter’s feelings.Among other tips on helping your teenage daughter build confidence, Sealey states that active listening is a pivotal part of connecting with your teenage daughter. If she’s talking to you about a fight with a friend, or about a boy she likes who doesn’t like her back, don’t cut her story short. You need to let her tell you the whole story and run the gamut of all the emotions she’s feeling. Sealy says that parents must be willing to validate their daughter’s feelings and help them process emotions in a healthy way. This means urging your daughter to fully experience, not deflect, their emotions and be open with how, and why, she is feeling them. Letting emotions sink in, even when it’s uncomfortable, will help your daughter fully process the situation and eventually come to terms with it.Another of the major tips on helping your teenage daughter build confidence is to avoid giving advice when your daughter comes to you with her problems. When parents jump in with their own stories and advice, girls often feel belittled, like their opinions and experiences don’t really matter. Sealy says that parents need to respond with empathetic phrases like, “You must feel really saddened that your friend doesn’t want to eat lunch with you,” or “I would be hurt too if a boy didn’t like me back.” This lets your daughter know that she is valid to feel the way she does, that having feelings doesn’t make her weak. Sealey says it’s okay to ask to share how you’ve overcome a similar situation, however, you should avoid overpowering her story with yours. Tune into the episode to hear more tips on helping your teenage daughter build confidence by identifying opportunities you have to foster revelations through quality time with your daughter.Miss IndependentAccording to Sealey, a major part of empowering young girls is to provide them with a safe space to focus on their own interests. In an age defined by comparison, it’s crucial for girls to understand—first and foremost—they need to make themselves happy. One of Sealey's tips on helping your teenage daughter build confidence is to encourage her to pursue individualistic interests, like horseback riding, hiking, painting, or volunteering at animal shelters, rather than focusing entirely on her social life.Teenage girls have a tendency to overextend themselves with social events in order to avoid missing out or disappointing others. According to Sealey’s tips on helping your teenage daughter build confidence, parents need to steer their daughters away from relying too much on friendships for fulfillment. Developing individualistic interests not only expands your daughters mind, it also gives her a greater sense of self-reliance and independence that’ll come in handy when she’s confronted with friendship drama. If she knows that she has other things to do with her time than spend it with a problematic friend, she won’t be so torn up about parting ways with them.Further, Sealey provides tips on helping your teenage daughter build confidence and self-respect when confronted with friendship drama. Drama is an unavoidable part of girlhood and can be an opportunity to learn valuable lessons. Often, our daughters will fall out of friendships because someone moved, or someone became popular and the other didn’t, or someone joined the soccer team while the other played tennis. It’s important, Sealey states, to teach your daughter that drifting apart is part of life and it’s important to have a large pool of friends to lean on when one friendship ends. Sealey urges parents to encourage their daughters to become friends with many different types of people. That could mean someone a few years older than them, someone who goes to another school, or someone who comes from a different ethnic background then them. Rather than having one BFF, it’s more beneficial for teenage girls to seek out multiple friendships with people who bring out and strengthen different parts of their personality.Finding Her VoiceWithout proper guidance, it’s easy for daughters to feel overwhelmed in the sea of information they’re fed everyday. They may be afraid to ask questions and...