Today I'm thinking about distorted thoughts and I'll be splitting this topic over three episodes as it's a big one. In this one I'm covering all or nothing thinking; mental filtering; over generalisation: discounting the positive; jumping to conclusions and catastrophising. There will be more next week.

Some folks are full of energy all day (and night) and others have a few productive hours in a day. I am most productive in the morning, in fact, I would say between 5 am and 7 am and then again 10 am - 12 pm. Your energy cycles are dependent on everything from your natural rhythms to the ways in which you take care of yourself.

During lockdown I remember walking along the street, a friend went by and she asked me as she passed by "how's it going, you know?". I knew what she meant. Of course I knew. It's all any of us were talking about. Lockdown learning. "Yeah, it's going well" I said, "better than last time, the learning is more structured which works better for us". She couldn't feign her surprise. "Really??" She said quietly, "it's worse for us. We've had more meltdowns than ever and it's only day two". "Still", she said, "could be worse. I keep thinking that, when I'm in the bathroom streaming. There's always someone worse off than me". I could see her eyes filling with tears. She was trying to hold it in. "Yes, that's true," I said, "there's always someone worse off, but that doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid. It doesn't diminish your feelings right now". I don't think she believed me.

As a career coach I spend a fair amount of time supporting people who have no idea what they want to do. But what about those of you who do? What if you know where you want to be, you're just not quite sure how you're going to do it. This is where acting up can help...

I'm often asked about my career story when I give workshops and webinars so I thought I'd explain a little more how I got to where I am. I've experienced redundancy, career change, returning to work, all of which make me the coach I am today.

Why might we engage in behaviours that are not helpful to us? I believe it's when we are feeling overwhelmed and we don't know how to soothe ourselves. When we are feeling stressed or overwhelmed we look for ways to feel better, but sometimes, we slip into poor habits and techniques. In today's episode l talk about the self-sabotage I engage in when I'm feeling stressed or overwhelmed and how I've learned to self-soothe.

Today, with a client I was discussing the idea that women have moved into positions of leadership by adopting men's conditioning, seeing it as the best way to lead and have influence. as Nancy Kline once said: “This is not progress. Women have been encouraged to be like men when actually the best thing for men in society would be to encourage men to be more like women.” So is it true that women are better leaders than men?

Take a ramble with me as I reflect in Mabon, blackberries and the cycles in Nature allowing us to let go, find new perspective and refocus.

Welcome to episode 115. I talk with my clients about inner strength. This phrase is used fairly widely within the coaching sector but it is open to interpretation. I thought I might explain what I mean when I talk about tapping into your inner strength. 

I recorded this in the middle of the summer holidays as I literally rambled through some fields.

In this episode I talk about how we motivate others, leadership styles and why our values are integral to both

The summer holidays are almost upon us - a time I find fills me with excitement and trepidation!  One of the reasons I look forward to my kids going to school/childminder/preschool is not just for their own benefit, but for mine too. I find it hard to switch off my Mummy mode and get into work mode when the kids are at home. I find it frustrating not being able to work in the way I want to and feel guilty when I do work and they need me. It’s taken me a few years (and a few more lockdowns) to realise that a) we needed a routine and b) that I make this work during the school holidays and I can adapt that plan. So, we're on day three of learning at home and day ten of not leaving the house. So here are my tips for staying motivated and my tips for working from home with the kids.  

I was chatting with someone in my network the other day who is at a director level. We were talking about the barriers that women face in their leadership journey. Still, in 2022 male leaders are still the majority - by a long way. Whilst over the last 30 years or so there is more gender balance in middle management, there is still work to be done at the executive level (and above).

When we are first in a role which requires leadership skills, we often feel unsure - yes we want it but we’re not sure how best to go about it. I know I felt this way, but as I sat and reflected I realised I wanted to be more visible. In order to grow and realise your full potential others need to see you working your magic too.

Are you thinking about investing in yourself? I have found in many cases that when we consider investing in ourselves we come up with excuses not to. So I wonder if you would say this to a friend...

I have been thinking about what leadership means recently. Triggered in part by a question I was asked: how do you know if you're a leader? 

How do you stay accountable for your goals? I've been thinking about my own goals this week and in order to understand why I’ve stalled in my goals, I spent some time looking backwards. I reflected on my previous success and how I'd achieved my past goals. Two things stood out. First, I had a plan. Second, I had accountability.

87% of workers feel disengaged in the workplace. While there are many reasons for this high level of disengagement, employee complaints about employers not listening to them certainly ranks high on the list. In fact, a recent study revealed that more than 33% believes that their employers do not listen to their ideas. Not only can showing your workforce that you are really listening to them, improve employee engagement levels, but it also can boost workplace morale, job satisfaction rates and overall retention. As a leader, you will spend a large proportion of your time managing your team. By listening to your team you can turn your understanding of what they want into meaningful opportunities to connect with them.

We have hundreds of habits, and they can help us out a lot, helping us feel safe and comfortable. This is brilliant if you use it as part of a well thought out journey but what if you've been on cruise control a while? What if you've fallen into habitual actions and thinking that no longer serve you? If this sounds like you, listen on for some tips to help your habits help you.

I remember a time when I was looking for a new job. I knew what I had to do - find job roles that looked interesting, research the company and send in my application(s). The problem was, I was already employed. So I wanted to keep my job search secret. This is a really common situation so here are my five tips for keeping your job search a secret. 

Kindness is one of my core values and that means it permeates my whole life, including how I lead. For me, kindness is a strength, so why not make it part of my leadership strategy? What would kindness look like for you in your leadership strategy?

We all seek validation sometimes, it's an innate drive to be accepted and for the most part, it's ok. But when it becomes a habit we can fall into thinking we're not good enough unless we're validated and approved by others. We trust other people's opinions of ourselves rather than our own. Here's how to let go of the habit of seeking approval and validation from others.

One of the most important life lessons I have had to date is that of being myself. It sounds easy but in reality there are years of 'shoulds' and 'what ifs' to acknowledge. This isn't about giving ourselves more work to do but about removing the expectations we set ourselves and living a more effortless and satisfying existence.

Strap yourself in folks, this is something I've been processing over the last couple of weeks! Let me tell you a story about how I learnt to trust myself. It's a bit of a ramble as I celebrate episode 100!

A change to my normal approach as I give an unedited, free flowing ramble into my thoughts on this year's International Women's Day topic #BreakingTheBias

One of the things I hear most in coaching conversations is the desire to change career. In fact, according to career statistics, the average person changes careers 5-7 times in their lifetime. (I am on number 4!). In this episode I muse on the difference between a career pivot and a career change and give you some questions to reflect on if you are considering a pivot.

When I speak to women in leadership roles one thing that comes up time and time again is that they don’t trust their voice. It’s almost whispered, a secret they don’t want to say out loud. They’re ashamed and not sure what’s going on. In this episode I explore some ways to strengthen and trust your voice and how it can help you as a leader

We all feel lost sometimes. In fact, I did a Pecha Kucha talk recently about actually getting lost...I am terrible at finding my way in new places. In this episode I am not talking about map reading and navigation but instead about that feeling we get when we feel we have no goal. I have talked with clients who might have a good job, a loving family but they feel exhausted, overwhelmed, restless. They come to me stuck, paralysed by choices and/or indecision. Sometimes something happens which gives them an opportunity to reflect, usually a life-changing event. Whatever is going on, that's when they find me. Here are my 3 tips for finding direction when you are feeling lost:

“I want to change careers but I just don’t know what to do” is a common phrase I hear in my coaching conversations. In this episode I explore the fears people have and why

One of the things I love about coaching and mentoring is that I learn things too. Yesterday I was listening to a very wise and successful woman as she talked about stepping out of her comfort zone and into her power as part of her business plan. She said “I’ve realised that it’s OK to stop, even if it’s working if it’s not getting you where you need to be”

Do you remember how you got into work today? Or perhaps you are struggling to keep an issue in your personal life from invading your thoughts when you are trying to work? Maybe you have a million things going on at work and you’re feeling overwhelmed? When we feel this way we often turn on the autopilot.

The problem with negative thoughts is that they can become self-fulfilling prophecies. We talk ourselves into believing that we're not good enough. And, as a result, these thoughts drag down our personal lives, our relationships, and our careers. But, if we deliberately do the opposite and use positive thoughts about ourselves, the effect can be just as powerful but far more helpful. In this episode, we'll explore how you can use affirmations to drive positive change in your career, and in your life in general.

If we want to be more like those leaders we admire we need to do what they do. In order to be able to have a vision and to nurture and develop others, we must have a vision for ourselves. That takes investment. Many people shy away from investing in themselves, especially if it feels (en)forced. I believe however that the process of investment can be exciting, it stretches our curiosity and encourages us to reflect on our leadership and the impact it has. It allows us to examine our beliefs and values, our leadership styles and to analyse and understand our behaviours. Investment isn't optional, it's part of what makes those leaders we admire great. It takes them to the next level and it allows you to take your leadership to the next level too.

We all make mistakes when it comes to our own self-worth. I have been talking about self-worth a lot with my clients this week and have been thinking about self-worth and the effect that it has on our ability to practice self-care.

Over lockdown (and since) I found myself increasingly introverted and needing to be solitary and yet…I feel like that’s an impossible task. I feel like I get no time to myself and even when I do I feel guilty about taking it. So how do we set and maintain healthy boundaries without the guilt? 

As the kids have gone back to school it’s given me some much needed time alone to work on myself and my business. I’ve had two coaching sessions in the last week, both for me as the coachee. One with my own coach and another as part of a supervisory session. One of the things I love most about being the coachee is that it can bring a chain reaction of clarifying thoughts, making space for growth.

When I was young I loved to make those pictures that were built up in layers. I thought I had ‘nice’ handwriting and I dabbled a bit in writing poetry – an outlet for my teenage angst! But I wouldn’t have described myself as creative.

Balance is like the sea, ever changing and always returning to a natural, calm state at some point. It’s, not something to be reached and firmly maintained. It is flexible and with a bit of awareness, it is easy to bring more balance into your life.

Once you’ve done the hard work, spent time reflecting on what’s important to you, it is the time to communicate your values.

We could all do with being more vulnerable. My daughters have taught me so much about being vulnerable and I’d like to share a story and ask: how can you be more vulnerable?

I'm a certified personal and career coach who helps you minimise your doubts and maximise your potential...of course, we don’t always maximise our potential, sometimes we self-sabotage and we give our power away. Let me tell you a little story about me and my daughter.

For over ten years I have talked to so many people about their careers – the highs, the lows and the fears. In my experience there are three main fears which hold people back: - Fear of failure; Fear of success and Fear of change. These fears can be debilitating. They can stop you from doing even the simplest things to further your career and keep you stuck, or at least feeling stuck.

I can be a procrastinator. One of my biggest reasons for procrastinating is not knowing what to do. So in today’s episode I am going to talk to you about how to get started when you don’t know what to do. 

I am in the first week after the summer holidays and (finally) I have been able to have an uninterrupted adult conversation! My friend and I went out for a coffee and during the conversation she asked me ‘how do you alleviate the guilt of being grateful for what you have but also wanting more?’ I really felt the sentiment. We all have moments where we feel ungrateful for what we have, even when we’re really happy with what we have.

I feel like a have a million things to do, my energy is going everywhere but me. I could scream. Ever feel like that? When you’re someone who gives a lot it’s easy to forget about yourself and your needs. We are halfway through the summer holidays here in the UK and in our house it's been busy! Although I do take a break in the holidays, I don't always take care of myself during that time. I'm not alone and so today I wanted to talk to you about self-care. 

I'm floundering this week, although it's the summer holidays and I've cut down my work, I noticed yesterday that I was feeling really demotivated about my current work goals. As I let this thought reverberate around my mind during the day I realised I was living an old family motto.

Childcare sorted? Check. New clothes? Check. Self-care strategy? Wait, what? Returning to work after having a child is both rewarding and challenging. I have already discussed the practical side of returning to work after maternity leave and about the emotional doubts which come from stepping back into the office. Today I want to talk to you about managing your self-care and keeping yourself topped up.

When you invest in yourself you are doing more than spending time and money. You are putting yourself higher up your priority list. Whether it's developing yourself personally or professionally, to invest in yourself is likely to be the best investment you make.