Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today on the podcast we have a wonderful interview with OCD and mental health advocate Mimi Cole. Mimi is currently working on her graduate degree in counseling and she is here to talk with us today about her lived experience with OCD, scrupulosity, and an eating disorder. Mimi so beautifully states that she wants to share her story in order to increase awareness, education and resources while decreasing the shame and misconceptions surrounding OCD. Mimi shares her OCD story, specifically her struggles with scrupulosity. She describes how her religion and her religious upbringing became intertwined with perfectionism and OCD. She shares a bit about her exposures for scrupulosity and what motivated her to begin ERP. Mimi also describes her experience with orthorexia and her obsessions surrounding clean eating and how she feels this became a link between OCD and an eating disorder. We discuss that intersection between body image, clean eating obsessions, restrictive food intake and how these are all connected to OCD. Mimi is currently exploring a research project on eating disorders as a coping mechanism for OCD. Towards the end of the interview, Mimi shares how she manages her OCD in recovery. She talks about self-compassion and accepting our common humanity as a few tools she uses to help. This interview is full of such great information particularly about scrupulosity, a theme of OCD that is not often discussed. I found it so uplifting and informative and I think you will as well. Mimi's instagram @the.lovelybecoming Mimi's website www.mimi-cole.com ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. Please click here for more information.

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today's episode comes out of a conversation I had with a client and I thought you all might need to hear this as well. Today we are going to be talking about guilt and this idea that feeling guilty doesn't mean you have done something wrong. I know that idea might feel strange. When we are feeling guilty, we usually assume that means we have done something wrong. Try thinking of guilt as an intersection. When the feeling arises you can chose to take the road that you have done something wrong or you can go in a different direction and try asking yourself "Is this real? Is there actually evidence that I have done something wrong? Is there a chance that my brain has made a mistake and set off the guilt alarm without there being a problem?" If you see that there is no evidence that you did something wrong, you can try practicing compassion and mindfulness and just allow those feelings of guilt to be there. If you recognize that yes you made a mistake then you can work to address the situation. A lot of us simply have a little glitch in the guilt system and our guilt gets fired off a bit too easily, too often, and at times where guilt isn't really that appropriate. Guilt is just an emotion and when it comes up it provides an opportunity for growth. Guilt can be painful and it can make us feel bad about ourselves, but remember that you have a choice when guilt shows up. You can choose that road of compassion and simply allow the emotion of guilt to be there. ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. Please click here for more information.

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today on the podcast, I am so excited to interview Dr. Jonathan Grayson, a psychologist who has been specializing in the treatment of OCD for more than 40 years. He is also the author of Freedom from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and founder of The Grayson LA Treatment Center for Anxiety and OCD. In this interview, Dr. Grayson discusses the power of embracing uncertainty in the treatment of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. In the beginning of our conversation, Dr. Grayson discusses how he explains OCD to his new clients. He shares that the core of OCD is trying to be absolutely certain and that the goal of treatment is to learn to live with that uncertainty in the same way that we live with all of the many uncertainties of life. We then go on to discuss the ways he helps motivate his clients to do ERP and to begin embracing that uncertainty. He has his clients fill out a form that asks certain questions including the one that he finds most critical "Why would I take this risk?" He also has his clients write down "What have you lost to OCD?" "How have you hurt the people you love because of OCD?" and "What do you hope to do with your life when you are free from OCD?" I found another question he asks his clients to be particularly helpful. When asking clients to begin embracing uncertainty and to take the risk that X may happen, he asks them to imagine how you will attempt to cope if the most terrible thing you can imagine actually happens. We also have a great discussion about mindfulness and compassion and how he uses both in his practice. This interview is full of so many fantastic insights. I learned so much myself and I hope that you will find it as enjoyable and informative. FreedomfromOCD.com- You can purchase Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder as well as download Dr. Grayson's forms. The Grayson LA Treatment Center for Anxiety & OCD ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. Please click here for more information.

I know it continues to be a really tough time for everyone. I am definitely not immune to those struggles. In taking time off, I came to a realization about why I was having such a hard time. It wasn't about COVID or anxiety or stress. I was struggling because I had been having a mental tantrum inside my own head 24/7. My mental tantrum sounded something like this "It's not fair. This should not be happening. I'm supposed to be healing. This isn't the way it should be. It's not fair." I had no idea I was even doing this. I was having an adult sized tantrum in my head that no one else could see. Now it is important to understand that all of these thoughts are valid. It is a tough time and people are suffering, but the way I was saying it was definitely not validating. I approached this by turning back to what has been the foundation of my recovery, something I learned about 15 years ago. It is rooted in the principles of Buddhism and that is 'in life there is suffering. It is not the suffering that causes the pain. It is the resistance to the suffering that causes you the pain.' So for me in this situation, my resistance or my mental tantrum was actually what was causing me the most pain. Recognizing this and having compassion for myself is so important here. And asking myself is there a way that I can take off my stomping shoes and stop resisting the fact that this is a hard time? We really do have a choice. Do we meet hard times with tantrums and resistance or do we meet those hard times with compassion, validation, consideration and respect? In these moments now when I still find myself throwing that mental tantrum, I simply note it and say "Ok I see what's happening and how am I going to deal with it? Am I going to keep throwing this tantrum or am I going to hold space for the fact that this tantrum is representing how hard things are and how much I am still struggling?" This has been such a huge lesson for me during COVID-19. I hope it is helpful for you as well as we are all still navigating these difficult and challenging times. ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. Please click here for more information.

Today on Your Anxiety Toolkit, we are joined by Gelong Thubten, a Buddhist monk, meditation teacher and the author of A Monk's Guide to Happiness. He is here to discuss how mindfulness and meditation can help us understand the power of our own minds. This episode is not about religion, rather, it is a beautiful message of wisdom and compassion. In this beginning of this episode, Gelong Thubten spends some time discussing happiness and how this desire to be happy really drives everything we do in life. The search for happiness can get us caught in a loop where we ultimately end up feeling more and more dissatisfied. He points out that the goal is to learn that true happiness is already inside each one of us. He goes even further to say that we can actually learn to be happy. It is a skill that we can practice. He explains that meditation can help us learn to be kinder to ourselves by teaching us how to transform our relationship with our thoughts. We become an observer of our thoughts during meditation. This non-judgment of thoughts and letting our thoughts simply be, actually allows us to have compassion for the moment and compassion for ourselves. Gelong Thubten gives some suggestions on how to begin a practice of mindfulness and mediation if you are a beginner. He stresses that there is no perfect way to meditate and it truly is a practice that you must work on. You don't have to do it perfectly for it to be effective. He suggests getting some instruction on how to meditate whether that is a book or online resource or even an app on your phone. He also suggests starting in very short increments, such as, five minute sessions. You begin your meditation by focusing on your body and finding your breath. When your mind wanders, do not engage in self-criticism, simply come back to your breath. We learn in this episode that meditation is a time of total freedom. You simply are in the moment, without judgment. By practicing these moments of nonjudgmental acceptance throughout the day, you are learning compassion which eventually will become your natural state. Gelong Thubten explains that our bodies are not designed for anger and rage. When we are happy, generous, kind, and connecting with others, we feel good inside, we feel happy which suggests that is our natural state. In other words, who we are deep down before we get caught up in negative and toxic outside influences. Meditation, he explains, is about bringing us back to that natural state. A Monk's Guide to Happiness: Meditation in the 21st Century www.gelongthubten.com Instagram @Gelongthubten

Hello everyone!!! I am so grateful that I was able to take some time off, but I am so happy to be back and I am excited to talk to you today about a really important lesson that I have learned and that is this concept that self-respect is not optional. Let me share a little bit about what this means. So many times, especially during COVID, I have been faced with the question: am I going to be respectful or disrespectful to myself right now? We are all actually faced with this question everyday, multiple times per day. Your responsibility is to show yourself respect every moment of every single day. Why? Because you are a human being and you get to have respect simply for being human. It is not something you earn. It is unconditional. This can be really hard for a lot of us, but self-respect is not optional. You deserve self-respect no matter what simply for being you not because of something you have done. How do you go about showing yourself respect? First, start by setting boundaries. It is respectful to set kind, compassionate boundaries and to show up for yourself when someone crosses that boundary. Second, hold yourself accountable. In other words, do what you say you are going to do. If you say I am establishing boundaries then hold yourself to that. Third, listen to and honor your body. If your body is hungry the most respectful thing you can do is to feed it. If you are tired ask yourself what your body needs at that moment. Also acknowledge what you respect about yourself and even share that with those you love. You might say "I really respect how well I have handled this difficult time." I find it to be true that self-respect is really the first step towards self-compassion. Finally, do not apologize right away. Apologies are wonderful, but sometimes we move too quickly to apologize or find ourselves apologizing for every misstep. Sometimes it is better to take a step back and really have a conversation with the other person. It is more respectful to have that conversation about what happened and to understand the other person and have them understand you. The healing happens in the back and forth communication, in hearing each other's point of view. I want to leave you with the reminder that it's a beautiful day to do hard things and I hope you will let self-respect be one. ERP School is open for purchase! ERP School is jam packed with the same tools and information that Kimberley uses with her own clients to help them learn to manage their OCD. And now if you purchase ERP School between September 14-28, you will receive 2 FREE bonus materials that will be emailed directly to you! Please click here to purchase. Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. Please click here for more information.

Hello everyone! We have some very EXCITING news today here at CBT School. We are so happy to announce that ERP School is being relaunched today, September 14, 2020! And we are so excited to say that it is now CEU approved!!!! This means that it is now an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. This is so special to us because it has long been a mission of CBT School to educate as many clinicians as possible about OCD and Exposure and Response Prevention. ERP School is jam packed with the same tools and information that Kimberley uses with her own clients to help them learn to manage their OCD. And now if you purchase ERP School between September 14-28, you will receive 2 FREE bonus materials that will be emailed directly to you! You will receive a free checklist of the important things you need to know as you practice ERP and a free audio training from Kimberley about things that may be getting in the way of your recovery. You will receive unlimited access to both of these bonus materials if you purchase before September 28th. So please head on over to cbtschool.com where you can purchase both the regular ERP School as well as the ERP School for CEU 's. Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast will be back on September 25th! We have so many awesome topics to cover and some amazing guests lined up. We can't wait! See you all on the 25th!

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. I wanted to take some time today to let you know that I am going to be taking a break. I am going to take a couple of months off to heal, to replenish, to restore and to rest. I want to share with you how I came to this decision about taking a break because I am wondering if you may be struggling with the same feelings. Over the past several months, I have found that I have not been slowing down enough to replenish. I haven't been listening to my body which has been saying to me "rest, please take some time." What has been so hard for me and may be hard for some of you as well, were the feelings I had that "I should be able to handle all of this and I'm weak if I can't." I was really judging myself for having those feelings. When I finally stopped and accepted that my body was trying to tell me something, I was able to recognize that now more than ever, my body, as wise as it always is, was telling me to slow down and take more time. So I want to ask you all to check-in with yourself and do a quick assessment to really connect with your needs. What your body is telling you? We are in such difficult times right now. There is so much uncertainty and anxiety which can take a tremendous toll on the body. Now more than ever it is so important to recognize the importance of taking care of ourselves. So what can we do to begin taking care of ourselves? We can take a deep breath. We can bring validation and recognition to all of our feelings and then we can give ourselves exactly what we need. If that means eating a brownie, or having a good cry or taking a break. I hope you will stop and honor your body and give it what it needs at this time. ERP School, BFRB School, and Mindfulness School for OCD are all now open for purchase. If you feel you would benefit, please go to cbtschool.com While Kimberley is taking a break, we are not going to leave you hanging. Each week for the next 10 weeks we will send you a new anxiety management tool to help you stare fear right in the eyes. This 10 week series is FREE and we cannot wait to have you join us! Click here to get started.

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today on the podcast, we are so lucky to be able to talk with Dr. Dennis Tirch, the founder of The Center for Compassion Focused Therapy and the author of six amazing books including, The ACT Practitioner's Guide to the Science of Compassion and The Compassionate-Mind Guide to Overcoming Anxiety. Dr. Tirch is here to talk with us about learning to embody self-compassion. In the beginning of this interview, Dr. Tirch spends some time discussing the definition of self-compassion and why self-compassion is so important for our mental health, especially for those struggling with anxiety.  Dr. Tirch says that learning to embody self-compassion involves “grounding ourselves in a sense of emotional safeness, meaning and purpose.” By practicing self-compassion and mindfulness, Dr. Tirch says we can “gradually train the mind to rest in an awareness of compassion and care.” He so beautifully tells us that if people can learn to embody this self-compassion and feeling of being grounded then they will be able to “turn towards the things they fear and walk through them.”  By learning to embody self-compassion and learning to speak to yourself in a compassionate voice, Dr. Tirch says your empathy will grow and your ability to tolerate distress will grow as well. Dr. Tirch spends some time talking to us about his own personal self-compassion exercises and he shares how important breathing and meditation can be when learning to embody self-compassion. Finally, Dr. Tirch spends some time explaining the importance of “finding your aim.” When we ask ourselves “what is your aim?’ it helps us become more self-aware and able to find our purpose. This is an amazing interview so full of beauty and wisdom. I hope you all enjoy. The Compassionate-Mind Guide to Overcoming Anxiety The ACT Practitioner's Guide to the Science of Compassion Dr. Tirch's website www.mindfulnesscompassion.com Ep: 134: Giving and Receiving Meditation ERP School, BFRB School, and Mindfulness School for OCD are all now open for purchase. If you feel you would benefit, please go to cbtschool.com

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today on the podcast we are talking about facing your fears with Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona, or Dr. Z for short. Dr. Z is a licensed clinical psychologist in California treating clients with OCD, anxiety and trauma. She has written several amazing books including Living Beyond OCD Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and The ACT Workbook for Teens with OCD. In our interview, Dr. Z discusses how to use Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to augment treatment of OCD, social anxiety, panic disorder, and phobias. Dr. Z shares with us WHY facing your fears is so important and something you should want to do! In this episode, Dr. Z talks about, 1. Ruling your thoughts and how to unpack them. 2. How to date your mind. 3. How to know which behaviors are working and which are not. 4. How to find values that energize you. 5. Create your own ERP menu that includes your own triggers and avoidant behaviors. 6. Learn how to react using wisdom. 7. Learn how to identify the ways your brain creates patterns. Dr. Z's websites www.actbeyondocd.com and www.thisisdoctorz.com Dr. Z's Instagram @dr.z.passionatebehaviorist Link to Dr. Z's books https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ ERP School, BFRB School, and Mindfulness School for OCD are all now open for purchase. If you feel you would benefit, please go to cbtschool.com

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Recently we have talked a lot about self-compassion. If you go back to episodes 134, 146, and 147, you will see self-compassion mentioned a lot. Today we are going to expand on that discussion by learning how to write ourselves a self-compassion letter.  I have actually been doing this with my clients for years and it really just involves putting your self-compassion into words which can actually be so helpful. There are several steps in writing your self-compassion letter. The first step is to show awareness of your struggle. You might say “I see that you are having a hard time.” Whatever it is, just bring it to your awareness and write it down. The second step is bringing in some words of unconditional love. No matter how much you are suffering, you still get to be loved and cared for. The third step is to show yourself some empathy for the distress you are in. You might say “I see you. I see the pain you are going through. I can relate to that.” The fourth step is recognizing your common humanity. In your letter, you want to bring in the common humanity of your struggle. You could say “Everybody knows what it is like to have anxiety. I am definitely not alone.” Next you want to normalize the fact that when we suffer we all want to engage in safety behaviors. A safety behavior is anything you may do to try and take away your fear, or shame, or sadness. Safety behaviors usually have unintended consequences and they usually end up causing more problems. Instead you would want to explore some more helpful solutions. You are going to look at the situation and say “How might I help myself?” The last step is to say something really, really kind to yourself and finally you are going to read your self-compassion letter aloud. Below is an example of my own self-compassion letter. Kimberley, my dear one. It’s okay that I’m having a hard time right now. I feel afraid and I really just want to jump out of my skin. This is really a difficult time for me. Now, what I am feeling is not wrong. I’m doing the best I can with what I have at this moment. My suffering, this discomfort I feel, it deserves to be met with kindness and tenderness. I deserve that. I am worthy of this kindness and tenderness I’m giving myself. And I wish for myself to have some peace of mind. I know it’s a hard time, but I know I will find peace. Now I’m going to find this peace mostly by doing what I’m doing right now, which is changing the way I respond to my suffering. Every single pain that shows up inside me, I’m going to meet with kindness and I’m going to recognize that each moment of suffering is worthy of self-compassion. I’m strong and I can face fear and I can hold space for my emotions, no matter how hard it is. I deserve to be a safe place for fear, as it rises and falls in my body. I am my best ally and I have everything I need right here inside me to get through these hard times. Now I promise to be there for myself when things get hard. I’m sending you my love. Now Kimberley, go gently into this moment, my darling. ERP School, BFRB School, and Mindfulness School for OCD are all now open for purchase. If you feel you would benefit, please go to cbtschool.com

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today on the podcast we are talking with Christian Newman about managing health anxiety.  Christian is an anxiety coach who has done a lot of work learning to manage his own health anxiety and today he is sharing with us the tools that he has used to help regain his life from health anxiety.  In this interview, Christian shares his own struggle with health anxiety and how it impacted his daily life. He shares how a terrifying panic attack led him on a journey to discover how to deal with his health anxiety. He shares with us several important tools that he has used to help him effectively manage his health anxiety. The first tool is the contract that he made with himself. In this contract, Christian wrote down everything that he was going to do to overcome his anxiety. This included stress management, diet, exercise routine, and sleep habits. Once he made this contract, he committed to taking action in his own life. One of the first actions that he took involved addressing the compulsions that fueled his health anxiety. He asked himself what positive actions he could take instead of engaging in the compulsive behavior. This allowed him to teach his brain to engage in something more positive which would then allow him to move forward. He also discusses how mindfulness including journaling, setting intentions, and meditation have helped along with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.  He explains that at times he still has moments of uncomfortable symptoms or sensations, but he has learned how to recognize what is happening and not allow those feelings to derail his life. Christian’s Instagram @healthanxiety.coach Christian’s website www.healthanxiety.coach ERP School, BFRB School, and Mindfulness School for OCD are all now open for purchase. If you feel you would benefit, please go to cbtschool.com

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today I want to talk with you all about the feelings of uncertainty you may have coming out of COVID-19. As we slowly begin to move out of quarantine, a lot of my patients and clients have started to talk about how scary it is to go back into life because there are so many uncertainties. Coming out of a difficult time requires us to accept change while staying in the uncertainty. When we begin coming out of COVID-19, we must face this sort of uncertainty, not knowing whether it will stay or whether it will get better or if it will come back. What is it going to look like in six months? What is it going to look like in a year? These are the questions we are all asking and because we are asking those big, big questions, we are going to have big, big emotions about them. Having these big emotions does not mean that you are not handling this well.  It doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you. My hope is to give you permission to have them. My second wish is to ask you to please not judge yourself for what you experience as you begin coming out of COVID-19. If those big emotions show up, before you judge yourself gently say, "It's okay. It's okay that I feel this. I'm allowed to feel these emotions." Remember, it is normal to feel anxiety. You might have anxiety about having to go back to seeing people in person. You might have anxiety about having to find a new rhythm to life. You may have been secretly benefiting from quarantine because it meant that you didn't have to be around the thing that scared you before COVID-19. If you have been lucky enough to not see the thing that frightens you, I really urge you to go right back into staring that fear in the face as soon as possible, because the longer you delay it, the harder it's going to get.  The thing to remember about anticipation is that is ultimately just about the uncertainty.  It's about leaning in and saying, "Okay, I radically accept that I don't know. I'm going to take one step at a time. I am not going to beat myself up. I'm going to do my best to be non-judgmental. And I'm going to try and find a glimpse of joy along the way." I'm going to look for those teeny tiny shimmers of joy that may be along the way. I still believe that when we open our eyes to joy, we can find it, even if it's once a day.  So, I hope you go with intention and give yourself permission to have all the feels.  ERP School, BFRB School, and Mindfulness School for OCD are all now open for purchase. If you feel you would benefit, please go to cbtschool.com

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today we are going to talk about a really important topic: learning to trust yourself.  Trust is so important for our feelings of safety and security. So often I hear from people who are experiencing anxiety and depression that they do not trust themselves. Today I want to share with you all a metaphor about trust, that I love, and I think it will help you conceptualize how to look at trust. This is a metaphor that Brene Brown has talked about a lot. She said that when you meet somebody they have an empty jar (metaphorically) and overtime as they show you in little ways, it might be their consideration, their respect for you, maybe they remembered your birthday, perhaps they sent you a little care package, every time they do something nice for you one marble is placed in the jar. If they do another small thing, you put another marble in the jar and overtime that jar fills up. This is how we experience a sense of trust for that person. Trust is something that grows and it often doesn’t come from the big things. It comes from the teeny tiny things. Maybe a little smile when you are having a hard time, or checking in with you, or holding a safe place for you when you are struggling. So, now that we have that conceptualization that trust is something we build over time, we also need to recognize that when somebody has let us down the marbles may come out. Maybe half the marbles. Maybe all the marbles. Perhaps just one. We can always grow trust back even if someone has betrayed us. If we want to build that trust back up, this involves giving the person a second chance. Often when someone has been very seriously betrayed, they make the choice, "I don't want to trust that person. I don't want to ever put myself in that position again.” Whereas other people might say, “well I love this person. I'm willing to take the risk.”  Now, this applies to ourselves too. You begin learning to trust yourself based on the small acts that you do for yourself. It's about taking care of yourself, making sure you're well-fed, making sure you're listening to your body. When you're frightened, it's about doing the hard thing instead of the easy thing. Every time we do that we are saying, “I've got your back unconditionally even during the difficult times.”  Now, just like I said before if you betray yourself, you ignore your needs, and put yourself down, you take out some of those marbles. If I've let a friend down or my partner down or my child down, I will intentionally try to regain their trust, and I'll do it in very small ways. I will be there for them, be kind to them, show up for them. This is the case for myself as well. If I have let myself down, I will need to show up in small ways with the intention that I want to trust myself.  A lot of the time, when I'm doing hard work in therapy with clients, they back down because they tell themselves, “I can't do this. I can't.” I tell them this is a matter of trust. You think you can't because you haven't in the past. This is a part of the process of learning to trust yourself, and it's an intention that you need to work on every day. Through those small acts, you'll get there. There will be days when you lose marbles. We all make mistakes, but we can all stand up and make the intention to build trust again for ourselves. It has to be unconditional. That is where our long-term wellness can benefit. So, I'm going to challenge you to think about how full your jar is for the people around you and the one for yourself and then ask yourself how intentional you are about building up that jar of trust. ERP School, BFRB School, and Mindfulness School for OCD are all now open for purchase. If you feel you would benefit, please go to cbtschool.com

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today we have on the podcast an amazing guest, Heather Hansen. Heather is a trial attorney, television legal analyst, and author of The Elegant Warrior: How to Win Life’s Trials Without Losing Yourself. Heather shares how we can learn to become a better advocate for ourselves using many of the same tools that she has used in the courtroom.  In this episode, Heather details the “tools of an advocate” that you can use to help win over your own self jury, that critical voice in your head that may say “You’re not good enough. Things aren’t going to work out. It’s time to be anxious.”  One of the tools Heather discusses involves collecting evidence when faced with self-doubt or worry. She suggests writing down, at the end of the day, what has made you proud. By collecting evidence, you start to build credibility with yourself. You can’t advocate for yourself unless you believe in yourself. Collecting evidence, building credibility and believing in yourself are the first steps in learning to become a better advocate.  Another tool of the advocate involves the words that you use and particularly the words you say to yourself. Words can create your reality. If you are anxious and use the term ‘I am freaking out’ you likely will freak out.  However, changing your words to ‘I am concerned’ can actually change how you view a situation. The next tool is perspective. If you view the world as dangerous and scary then the world is going to feel dangerous and scary. There are always many ways to view a situation, Heather challenges us to look at all of those different views and then choose the perspective that best serves you. Finally Heather spends some time discussing how presentation, body language, and tone are also important tools of an advocate. Heather provides such fascinating information and amazing insight. I was taking notes during the entire interview! I hope you find it as helpful. You can find more information on Heather Hansen's blog, podcast, books, and coaching services at heatherhansenpresents.com The Elegant Warrior: How to Win Life's Trials Without Losing Yourself Find Heather on Instagram @imheatherhansen ERP School, BFRB School, and Mindfulness School for OCD are all now open for purchase. If you feel you would benefit, please go to cbtschool.com

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast. Today I want to talk to you about anger. I have talked about anger before, but this time is a little bit different. I want to tell you why anger is your friend. When I say that to people, they usually have a reaction and they say “No, it’s not. Anger is horrible. Anger makes me uncomfortable.” I think we have anger all wrong because society tells us it’s wrong. We are told “You are not allowed to be angry. It is disrespectful to be angry. You’re overreacting. You are so insecure.” Those are the messages we so often receive about anger and they only direct us away from listening to our anger. Let’s first discuss, what is anger? Anger is an emotion that you feel and it is usually a reaction to some kind of injustice or some kind of threat. If you have been wronged, you feel angry about it. If you feel like you are physically or emotionally in danger, anger is usually the emotion that arises. Anger is just one emotion in our toolkit and it is so important.  The cool thing about anger is that anger propels us forward. While anxiety pulls us backward, anger pushes us forward into either protection or problem solving mode. Anger is your friend because it shows up with a message that we should listen to. If you feel anger, the trick is to see that underneath the anger is an emotion that has a lot of knowledge and something to tell you. Anger is your friend because it will help lead you to where you work is, whether that is fear, shame, guilt or any other underlying emotion.   When you feel anger arise, the first thing I am going to encourage you to do is to just validate the feeling. You can say “I feel angry and that is OK or I am noticing anger in my body right now.” Next I want you to meet yourself with compassion. Something has been activated, some kind of pain and all pain, no matter the source, deserves and requires compassion. Finally, once you’ve validated and practiced self-compassion, the next step is to ask yourself what is underneath this anger?  What is it trying to tell me? So in this moment just get really quiet and listen. Are you angry because you are afraid? Are you angry because you feel shame? Are you angry because someone brought up a fault that you didn’t really want to address? These are some reasons we all feel anger so remember you are not alone.  Since anger is your friend you can use it to propel you forward into solutions. If you listen to the anger, validate it and ask it what it needs, it will usually led you to your suffering so that you can either tend to it or solve it. It is really THAT powerful! ERP School, BFRB School, and Mindfulness School for OCD are all now open for purchase. If you feel you would benefit, please go to cbtschool.com

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today I want to share with you one of my favorite topics of all time: how to access your compassionate voice. You may be thinking what exactly does that mean?  Well it means helping you to get in touch with the compassion that lives inside each of you. So often my clients and patients say to me “I don’t know how to access compassion” or “I don’t know what that even feels like.” Here is the thing. Your compassionate voice has always been inside of you, but sometimes other messages are simply louder. If you learn to listen deeply for it than it becomes so much easier to pick up. That little voice inside of you is ready to speak up and it is ready to fill you with a loving sense of self-compassion. During this episode, I walk you through how to begin to access your compassionate voice. You start by closing your eyes, following your breath and asking yourself some questions. These questions help you to tap into your compassionate voice and to start to become familiar with it. First, what does your compassionate voice sound like?  What tone does your compassionate voice speak in? How would you like your compassionate voice to show up for you? How do you relate to your compassionate voice? Finally, what do you need from your compassionate voice?  I really hope you will be open and experiment with this practice. It is such a beautiful exercise and the more you do it, the more you will hear and feel your compassionate voice. Even if it seems unnatural at first, I hope you will still give it a try because it can be really helpful for your mental health. Try viewing it as a type of emotional training. You are giving yourself a tool that one day you may need and then you will have it with you and know how to use it. Remember compassion is not about making the pain go away; rather, it is about meeting your suffering with safety. It is about showing up for yourself during the hard times.  ERP School, BFRB School, and Mindfulness School for OCD are all now open for purchase. If you feel you would benefit, please go to cbtschool.com

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today I want to talk with you about self-compassion and to give you a compassion tool to try if you are struggling with feeling worthy, deserving, or comfortable with self-compassion. In order to understand this tool, I want you to imagine a scenario. Let’s imagine you are having a moment of fear. In that moment, you may naturally engage in a safety behavior, something that protects you from the fear. Safety behaviors are natural. We as humans have learned to protect ourselves by getting away from danger. However, a problem that often comes with safety behaviors is the unintended consequence. If you have social anxiety and your safety behavior is to avoid social interactions then the unintended consequence may be that you feel lonely. So if you have a fear and you engage in a safety behavior that leads to unintended consequences, you may then judge yourself for how poorly you handled a situation. Here is where the compassion tool comes in. Before you start judging, I want you to try and catch yourself. This takes a lot of mindfulness.  Try and recognize that these safety behaviors are part of the human experience. Try telling yourself “all humans engage in safety behaviors because all humans have felt fear, sadness, guilt or shame. I am going to show myself some compassion.”  Another point to remember is that when we have an emotion whether it is fear or sadness or shame and we engage in a safety behavior another unintended consequence is that we are actually making that emotion feel much bigger. The more you don’t want to feel fear, the stronger and scarier it actually feels. Again, I want you try meeting those emotions with compassion. When you notice fear you may try saying “OK I am having feelings of fear. All humans feel fear. This is a normal experience.” Instead of engaging in a safety behavior you might say “Wow fear, thank you for showing up. Thank you for trying to protect me. I am going to send you well wishes because I want to create a relationship with fear that is positive instead of negative." I truly hope this compassion tool will be of help to you in those moments of struggle. I hope you will show yourself compassion for all of those emotions and feelings that are part of the human experience. ERP School, BFRB School, and Mindfulness School for OCD are all now open for purchase. If you feel you would benefit, please go to cbtschool.com Did you know that we were listed in the top 10 OCD podcasts to follow in 2020? https://blog.feedspot.com/ocd_podcasts/

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today I want to share with you the five thoughts you need to watch out for during COVID-19. I know we are in a stage right now where we are all trying to adapt to our new normal. Over the past week, I have noticed a few thoughts that have come up with clients about our current situation that I want to share with you.  Here we go. These are the 5 thoughts you need to watch out for during COVID-19. 1. “I cannot handle this.”  This is really important because if you are telling yourself that you cannot handle it then chances are you probably won’t. What I would love for you to say instead is, "I can do hard things.” You don't have to do it perfectly, but you absolutely can handle it. 2. “I am going crazy indoors." It is easy to start feeling claustrophobic if you are constantly reminding yourself that you are indoors or cooped up. Instead try switching this statement to “It’s hard for me to be indoors.” I also think it is really important if you are in a place where it is safe and you are able to try and get outdoors every day. Even if it means just standing outside your front door. Getting outdoors at least once a day is so important for our mental health. 3. “When will it end?” This one is really, really hard. If you are spending a lot of time trying to answer this question then you are probably going to end up frustrated, disappointed and more anxious because nobody has the answer. Instead, I would encourage you to try and stay in the present moment. Try focusing on the present day only, not what might happen next week or next month. 4. “Life will never be the same.” Another one that is really hard because there is a lot of grieving happening right now. You may be grieving that your life looks and feels so different. If we keep telling ourselves that life will never be the same, we end up creating a lot more anxiety and ultimately a lot more grief. I think it is so important to give yourself a lot of compassion if this thought is coming up for you.  5. “I should” statements. These look like “I should be handling this better. I should be cleaning my house. I should be learning a new language.” No, we are in the midst of a pandemic. You may not have the energy, bandwidth or mental space to be doing any of those things and that is absolutely OK. I would encourage you to shift your language from “I should” to “I could.” Instead of saying “I should be handling this better.” say “I could be handling this better, but I am doing the best I can with what I have.”   So these are the five thoughts I want you to watch out for during COVID-19. Some of them you may be thinking a lot, some not at all, but I really felt it was important to address these five because it can be so easy to fall into some of these traps! ERP School, BFRB School, and Mindfulness School for OCD are all now open for purchase. If you feel you would benefit, please go to cbtschool.com Please join the IOCDF for a live Townhall discussion on COVID-19 & OCD Saturday April 18 at 2 PM EST. There will be a live Q&A session. Please click here for more information. Did you know that we were listed in the top 10 OCD podcasts to follow in 2020? https://blog.feedspot.com/ocd_podcasts/

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today we have Heather Lillico on the podcast.  Heather is a registered holistic nutritionist, yoga instructor, as well as a delightful human being. Today she is going to discuss how nutrition can impact mental health. Heather shares a little bit about her own mental health journey and how that led her to explore the connection between nutrition and mental wellness. Heather discusses what it means to be a holistic nutritionist. She explains that she focuses a great deal on the whole person, not only how nutrition can impact mental health, but also how a person’s sleep patterns and exercise can as well.  Heather shares some really helpful and fascinating information about how nutrition can impact mental health along with some slights changes you can make in your day to day life to improve your mental health. She takes some time explaining the role that a variety of different nutrients play in our mental well being. Heather does a beautiful job explaining to us how we can be a little more intentional with what we put in our mouths and on our forks. She gives some really simple ways that we can incorporate different nutrients and foods into our daily life. Heather also takes some time to explain the connection between our gut health and our mental health.   I am so excited to share this episode with you at this time. Food keeps us nourished. Food is also a huge source of pleasure. Meal time is when we can join as a family and communicate and have a connection. It's a huge piece of our mental health right now so I thought this was a really, really great time to have this conversation with Heather and talk about all things food!  Heather's website www.heatherlillico.com Heather's Instagram @heather_lil ERP School, BFRB School, and Mindfulness School for OCD are all now open for purchase. If you feel you would benefit, please go to cbtschool.com Please join the IOCDF for a live Townhall discussion on COVID-19 & OCD Saturday April 11 at 2 PM EST. There will be a live Q&A session. Please click here for more information. Did you know that we were listed in the top 10 OCD podcasts to follow in 2020? https://blog.feedspot.com/ocd_podcasts/

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today I want to remind you that you can do hard things! In this episode, I spend some time talking with you about how important it is to validate all the feelings you are experiencing during this difficult time. With so much going on around the world, there are so many emotions, so many feelings. And I think that we sometimes forget to stop and say, "Wow, this is hard for me," or "Oh, this is a moment of real suffering and struggle for me," or "I'm noticing I'm having a lot of anxiety." It is so important to make space for all those feelings. To acknowledge and validate those feelings and to create a safe place for those emotions to be there as this event rises and falls. In this episode, I share with you all a little bit about how I am working to validate my own emotions when I am having moments that are difficult. The most important thing I want you all to take away from this episode and to remember during this very, very difficult time is: "It's a beautiful day to do hard things,” and you are doing hard things.  You were already doing hard things before this happened, right? But every time it gets a little harder, you realize how much stronger you are. Sending so much love to you all! Did you know that we were listed in the top 10 OCD podcasts to follow in 2020? https://blog.feedspot.com/ocd_podcasts/

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. You guys, you are going to love this episode with one of my favorite poets of all time, The Poetry Bandit. Jon Lupin, aka The Poetry Bandit joins us today to tell us his story about sobriety, OCD, relationships, mental health and how poetry has helped him through.  This is a story about honesty, vulnerability, and commitment. The Poetry Bandit shares his story and together we talk about some of the hidden meanings of his poetry. Jon and I got to read a few of his poetry pieces and talk about how he manages his anxiety, OCD, and sobriety while being a father, employee, friend and poet.  If you get a chance, check out The Poetry Bandit's books of poetry. The links are below.   Encyclopedia of a Broken Heart: Poems You Only Love Me When I'm Suffering: Poems My Sober Little Moon Jon's Instagram @the_poetrybandit Please join the IOCDF for a COVID-19 & OCD Live Townhall. Saturday March 28th at 2 PM EST. Bring your questions for Kimberley, Ethan Smith, Jon Hershfield, and Stuart Ralph. https://www.facebook.com/IOCDF/ Kimberley did a FREE Self-Compassion webinar on The Peace of Mind Foundation's FB page. https://www.facebook.com/peaceofmindfoundation/ Did you know that we were listed in the top 10 OCD podcasts to follow in 2020? https://blog.feedspot.com/ocd_podcasts/

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. In today’s podcast, I want to provide you all with an easy mindfulness tool to help with coronavirus anxiety. These are tough times, I know. It is overwhelming and there is a lot of information out there. In this episode, I would like to encourage you to step away from the tools that everybody is giving you right now and hopefully provide you with an easy tool that will help you in the deepest, darkest, moments of struggling. Now I am still going to strongly encourage you to reduce your consumption of news and to receive your news from one reputable source for a limited amount of time per day. I also want to encourage you to get support right now. Reach out to your people, every single day. In this episode, I also want to give you this mindfulness tool to help with coronavirus anxiety that you may have heard me mention before. It is actually a four step mindfulness tool known by the acronym, RAIN. The R in RAIN is for RECOGNIZE. This tool is to get you to slow down or stop and be in the present. Ask yourself, “What is it that I am feeling? What is it that I am thinking right now? What is it that I am experiencing?” The A in RAIN is for ALLOW. You are going to allow what you have recognized and you are not going to judge it, just allow it to come and go. The I in RAIN is INVESTIGATE. I think this is really important right now. Investigate involves engaging with your deep sense of curiosity. It involves looking at things as if you have never seen them before. The N in RAIN is for NURTURE. You have recognized what you are feeling, you’ve allowed what you are feeling, and you have investigated it with a curious mind. What is left over, you nurture. You provide yourself with a huge dose of self-compassion. Help Manage COVID-19 anxiety and stress with this mindfulness and self-compassion tool. A FREE custom-made PDF worksheet to help you manage anxiety, doubt and uncertainty. https://www.cbtschool.com/RAIN Please read this helpful article that explains how OCD and anxiety disorders can be complicated by coronavirus fears. https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/ocd-and-anxiety-disorder-treatment-can-be-complicated-by-coronavirus-fears/2020/03/13/6b851d60-63ce-11ea-acca-80c22bbee96f_story.html

I cannot tell you how often I get asked about how anxiety impacts sex. Social media followers often ask questions that involve how anxiety decreases sex drive, how sexual arousal can occur at unwanted times and the impact medication has on sexual arousal and orgasm.  In today's episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, we have Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy to speak about all things anxiety and sex. Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy is a certified sex therapist, psychologist, and upcoming author and she answered all of my questions on how anxiety impacts sex.  When discussing the topic, Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy answered the following questions:  How can we refocus on the present when anxious? Does anxiety impact orgasm? Can anxiety cause sex to be painful? How to handle arousal related to unwanted, intrusive thoughts? How to manage strong feelings about sex, such as desire but also repulsion? How to manage sex hygiene? Will medication impact sexual arousal? Instagram: @drlaurenfogelmersy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drlaurenfogelmersy/ Please join the IOCDF for a special addition of Just, Ethan this Saturday, March 14 at 2 PM EST. This live stream on Facebook and YouTube will be an OCD/Coronavirus Town Hall with special guests Kimberley Quinlan and Shala Nicely. Come and bring your questions! https://www.facebook.com/IOCDF/ Please check out this really helpful article on managing anxiety over the coronavirus.

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. In today's podcast, I give an account of how I manage health anxiety, both when managing medical issues and during medical tests. With all of the fear related to the Coronavirus, health anxiety is becoming a very scary word. Many with OCD are impacted by this because doctors and authorities are telling them to be concerned. This is very much the same when you are dealing with a medical issue and it can be hard to differentiate what is appropriate and what is fear-related. In this episode, I address how to manage health anxiety from many different perspectives and I hope you find it helpful. Please check out this post about managing health anxiety over the coronavirus. https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/managing-ocd-about-coronavirus/ ERP SCHOOL is HERE! ERP School is a complete online course that teaches you how to apply Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) to your Obsessions and Compulsions. The cost is $197 and includes almost 6 hours of the same ERP information and skills that Kimberley teaches her face-to-face clients. ERP School is only offered two times per year. The last day to purchase is Monday March 9, 2020. https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today we have the incredible Katy Marciniak talking about the “10 things I have learned about recovery”. Katy is open and honest and vulnerable in this episode and I cannot respect her more. She has really shown us how possible recovery is, but she is also honest about the ups and the downs.  Here are the main points Katy covers. * At first if you don't succeed, try, try again. * There is not set time frame for recovery or for therapy. Take your time and don’t put unrealistic expectations on yourself. * Vulnerability is your friend! You might not think it is, but it will help you get through the ups and the downs of recovery. * Its okay! It’s okay if you are anxious. It is okay if you are sad. It is okay if you are angry. It is okay if you are struggling. These feelings do not make you bad or wrong and it doesn’t mean you are not moving in the right direction. Don’t beat yourself up for having a mental disorder or for needing therapy. Therapy does not mean you are weak or faulty. * There is freedom in not knowing. Having uncertainty, while it feels bad, is a good thing and will make you stronger. * Do not isolate yourself. And you are not alone. Try to find a group of people who are just like you and are going through something similar. A great option would be to join our private Facebook group called CBT School campus! * Live in the moment. It might sound like a catch phrase, but you can actually learn how to stay present and not get caught up in the future and the past. * Don’t knock self-compassion! It will help you in ways you cannot even imagine. * Going to therapy will not solve all of your problems. You must be willing to do the work at home, at work and in your relationships. * Give yourself the credit you deserve. You are going through a lot and you are so strong. Instagram @navigatinguncertainty Katy's Blog: https://navigatinguncertaintyblog.wordpress.com/about/ Today is the day!!!! ERP SCHOOL is HERE! ERP School is a complete online course that teaches you how to apply Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) to your Obsessions and Compulsions. The cost is $197 and includes almost 5 hours of the same ERP information and skills that Kimberley teaches her face-to-face clients.  https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp We are excited to share that we are offering our FREE webinar called The 10 things you absolutely need to know about OCD.  During this webinar, Kimberley will address the most important science-based skills and concepts that you need to get your life back from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. https://www.cbtschool.com/10things OCD Gamechangers – Annual Conference https://www.eventbrite.com/e/3rd-annual-ocd-gamechangers-tickets-82657196901 https://ocdgamechangers.com/events/ March 7 @ 10:00 am - 6:00 pm MST Denver Turnverein, 1570 N Clarkson St Denver, CO 80218 United States

FREE TRAINING:  10 Things You Absolutely Need To Know About OCD  Available Today! February 24, 2020 If you have OCD, or you know someone who does, please join us each evening at 6 pm PST to learn about the 10 things you need to know about OCD.⁠ ⁠ Things to note: ⁠ It’s free! ⁠ Its offered each evening this week. ⁠ The webinar is pre-recorded and will be sent directly to your inbox. ⁠ It’s FREE! ⁠ You can watch it in your PJ’s⁠ If you miss the training, a replay will be sent to your inbox the following day. ⁠ Did I mention that it is free? ⁠ I LOVE YOU ALL AND HOPE YOU ENJOY IT! ⁠https://www.cbtschool.com/10things ERP SCHOOL is HERE! ERP School is a complete online course that teaches you how to apply Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) to your Obsessions and Compulsions. Available February 27, 2020! ERP School is $197 and includes almost 5 hours of the same ERP information and skills that Kimberley teaches her face-to-face clients.  https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today we are talking about how travel is the best ERP and how you can use travel to help conquer your fears. Today we are joined by Gilad Gamliel from the popular blog, www.overthinkerspassport.com. In this episode, Gilad Gamliel discusses how travel can be the best ERP especially for those who struggle with anxiety, panic and obsessive compulsive disorder. Gilad is 27 years old and has health anxiety and OCD. He shares how OCD and anxiety tried to confine him and keep him living a small and “safe” life, but for some reason, he was pulled towards taking a leap and trying travel. Gilad shares that he originally thought “travel just isn't for me” because his anxiety was so bad. However, Gilad found there have been many positives to come out of his experience traveling. In this episode, he shares why someone should travel and the benefits of traveling with anxiety. He also shares many special tips for traveling with anxiety and OCD. Some of the tips he shares are: 1. Step back to get perspective. 2. Remember that this travel experience is temporary and not permanent. 3. Focus on the present and engage with your surroundings. 4. Take note that there are many things happening that you have never seen. 5. Use technology to help build a support system from home. 6. Ask other travelers for advice. You will find that they may want companionship also. 7. You can do this, even with anxiety. You can bring anxiety with you and learn that anxiety doesn’t have to ruin everything for you as you travel and experience the world. Website: https://www.overthinkerspassport.com/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/gil.ad.ventures Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/overthinkerspassport OCD Gamechangers – Annual Conference https://www.eventbrite.com/e/3rd-annual-ocd-gamechangers-tickets-82657196901 https://ocdgamechangers.com/events/ March 7 @ 10:00 am - 6:00 pm MST Denver Turnverein, 1570 N Clarkson St Denver, CO 80218 United States We are excited to share that we are offering our FREE webinar called The 10 things you absolutely need to know about OCD.  During this webinar, Kimberley will address the most important science-based skills and concepts that you need to get your life back from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. https://www.cbtschool.com/10things ERP SCHOOL is HERE! ERP School is a complete online course that teaches you how to apply Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) to your Obsessions and Compulsions. Available February 27, 2020! ERP School is $197 and includes almost 5 hours of the same ERP information and skills that Kimberley teaches her face-to-face clients.  https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp

In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I wanted to share with you the 8 things I want you to know. You might be wondering, “How does Kimberley know what I need?” You are correct. I really cannot be sure, but I can guess and I wondered if you needed to hear any of these 8 points.  Here they are:  1) It's ok to feel what you are feeling. You are allowed to feel it all! The good. The bad. The uncomfortable. There is no “right” way to feel. 2) Your thoughts do not define your worth. Not today. Not tomorrow. This is true for every single person. If you are wondering, “If she only knew how bad my thoughts are." I mean you too. There is no thought that disqualifies you or depletes your worth.  3) There is nothing you need to change. Nope! You are perfect, even with all of your imperfections. Hey, you are perfect because of your imperfections.  4) You are supported. Lean on the CBT School Facebook group if you are feeling alone. 5) We will not give up on you. When I say “we” I actually mean YOU AND ME! I won't give up on you and you can’t either.  6) You are enough. That is all I am going to say. It’s a fact!  7) This moment is temporary. This moment might feel unbearable, I understand. However, please remember that this moment is only here for a moment....and then it passes. No anxiety lasts forever.  8) You deserve love and peace. You really do deserve love and peace. We all do. If you are having a hard time right now, I am sorry. I wish you love and peace in the little ways and the big.  OCD Gamechangers – Annual Conference https://www.eventbrite.com/e/3rd-annual-ocd-gamechangers-tickets-82657196901 https://ocdgamechangers.com/events/ March 7 @ 10:00 am - 6:00 pm MST Denver Turnverein, 1570 N Clarkson St Denver, CO 80218 United States ERP School is coming soon! Mark your calendars for Feb 27th!

In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I speak with the incredible Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford. I cannot tell you how happy I am that she reached out for this interview. In this episode, Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford talks to us about a term coined, perfectly hidden depression. She talks specifically about how it differs from classic depression and she describes for us the ten characteristics of perfectly hidden depression with number 8 being that it often accompanies mental health struggles such as OCD, eating disorders, addictions or anxiety disorders.  The following are those 10 commonly shared characteristics that Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford discusses: You are highly perfectionistic, with a constant, critical inner voice of intense shame.  You demonstrate a heightened or excessive sense of responsibility. You have difficulty accepting and expressing painful emotions. You worry a great deal and avoid situations where control isn’t possible.  You intensely focus on tasks, using accomplishment as a way to feel valuable. You have an active and sincere concern about the well-being of others while allowing few if any into your inner world. You discount or dismiss hurt or abuse from the past or the present. You have accompanying mental health issues, involving control or escape from anxiety. You hold a strong belief in “counting your blessings” as the foundation of well-being. You have emotional difficulty in personal relationships, but demonstrate significant professional success. Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford also addresses the Five C’s in the healing process for perfectly hidden depression. I think you will really resonate with the words and concepts discussed in this episode. Thank you Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford for your wonderful work. https://drmargaretrutherford.com/perfectly-hidden-depression/ https://drmargaretrutherford.com/ https://drmargaretrutherford.com/selfwork/   OCD Gamechangers – Annual Conference https://www.eventbrite.com/e/3rd-annual-ocd-gamechangers-tickets-82657196901 https://ocdgamechangers.com/events/ March 7 @ 10:00 am - 6:00 pm MST Denver Turnverein, 1570 N Clarkson St Denver, CO 80218 United States

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today I have the pleasure of interviewing Jeff Goldman, a Hollywood executive and the Director of Development for OCD Southern California. In this interview, Jeff shares his very vulnerable story of being tormented by OCD and how it has impacted his family and his career. Jeff shares his highs and lows with us in his very inspirational and honest story.  In this interview, Jeff Goldman shares his story of having “Just Right” OCD and how the fear of being a failure caused him to become paralyzed with anxiety. Jeff explains that he was diagnosed with OCD at 17 yrs old and has had a long, but inspirational journey to wellness.  Jeff discusses his struggles with facing treatment and how he needed a lot of support and motivation to work on his mental health. He shares, “I was afraid of changing in spite of hating my life." What comes after that is a recovery story that includes medication, therapy, and family support.  Some of the tools Jeff uses to help manage his OCD are “you have to name it to tame it”, “feel the pain” and “let the anxiety flood through your body."  Thank you so much to Jeff Goldman for sharing his amazing story! Jeff Goldman, Director of Development, OCD SoCal (an affiliate of the IOCDF) https://ocdsocal.org/ https://iocdf.org/ [email protected] OCD Gamechangers – Annual Conference https://www.eventbrite.com/e/3rd-annual-ocd-gamechangers-tickets-82657196901 https://ocdgamechangers.com/events/ March 7 @ 10:00 am - 6:00 pm MST Denver Turnverein, 1570 N Clarkson St Denver, CO 80218 United States

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. This week’s episode was exactly what I needed and I wondered if it was what you needed too. In today’s episode, I am going to share with you my favorite self-compassion tool, giving and receiving.  This is a meditation that I learned from Christopher Germer himself. Christopher Germer is the co-founder of the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion and the genius behind many of my favorite self-compassion exercises.  In today’s episode, we are going to learn the art of giving and receiving. No, not gifts. We are going to learn the art of giving and receiving self-compassion. I often use this meditation after a long day in the office or after a hard day, so I hope it helps you too.  This is the 3rd core meditation of the MSC course. Giving and Receiving Compassion builds on the previous two core meditations: Affectionate Breathing which focuses on the breath and Loving-Kindness for Ourselves which focuses on the layering of compassionate words or images onto the breath. The new element of breathing in for oneself and out for others helps the practitioner to practice compassion through connection by loving others without losing oneself. Students tend to find this meditation both easy and enjoyable. Thank you, Christopher Germer, for this wonderful meditation. Instructions for Giving and Receiving Meditation: Please sit comfortably, closing your eyes, and if you like, putting a hand over your heart or another soothing place as a reminder to bring not just awareness, but loving awareness, to your experience and to yourself. Taking a few deep, relaxing breaths, notice how your breath nourishes your body as you inhale and soothes your body as you exhale. Now, letting your breathing find its own natural rhythm, continue feeling the sensation of breathing in and breathing out. If you like, allow yourself to be gently rocked and caressed by the rhythm of your breathing. Now, focusing your attention on your in-breath, let yourself savor the sensation of breathing in, noticing how your in-breath nourishes your body, breath after breath….and then releasing your breath. As you breathe, breathing in something good for yourself…whatever you need. Perhaps a quality of warmth, kindness, compassion, or love? Just feel it, or you can use a word or image if you like. Now, shifting your focus to your out-breath, feeling your body breathe out, feeling the ease of exhalation. Please call to mind someone whom you love or someone who is struggling and needs compassion. Visualize that person clearly in your mind. Begin directing your out-breath to this person, offering the ease of breathing out. If you wish, intentionally send warmth and kindness - something good -to this person with each out-breath. Now letting go of what you or the other person may need, and just focusing on the sensation of breathing compassion in and out and sending something good. “In for me and out for you.” “One for me and one for you.” If you wish, you can focus a little more on yourself, or the other person, or just let it be an equal flow—whatever feels right in the moment. Or you can send something good to more than one person. Allowing your breath to flow in and out, like the gentle movement of the sea - a limitless, boundless flow - flowing in and flowing out. Letting yourself be a part of this limitless, boundless flow. An ocean of compassion. Gently opening your eyes. OCD Gamechangers – Annual Conference https://www.eventbrite.com/e/3rd-annual-ocd-gamechangers-tickets-82657196901 https://ocdgamechangers.com/events/ March 7 @ 10:00 am - 6:00 pm MST Denver Turnverein, 1570 N Clarkson St Denver, CO 80218 United States I strongly encourage you all to read Shala Nicely's amazing blog post about the misuse of the term, “I am so OCD.” https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/ocd-is-not-what-you-think/

In this beautiful episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I speak with the amazing Andrea Barber about her new book, Full Circle: From Hollywood to Real Life and Back Again. In this interview, Andrea shares her experience with anxiety, panic and mental wellness. She shares why she wrote this book and her hopes for this memoir.  In her book, Andrea Barber shares, “To fans, I’ve always been synonymous with my character, since most people don’t know me in any other role. But now, I want you to accept the real me . . . and the fact that I’m nothing like I appear on TV. To know me is to realize that I am very flawed, and I have many shortcomings and insecurities. By sharing them with you, you may recognize things in yourself, and discover that you and I are not so unalike after all. For once, it will be nice to share Andrea with the world.”  Andrea shared what it was like having a huge support system, but still feeling completely alone with her anxiety, panic and depression. Andrea spends some time talking about how her anxiety manifests in stomach related symptoms. She also tells us about the process of accepting the application of medication in her wellness journey and her experience with the side effects of medications.  I just adored when Andrea shared what she learned about herself since going through her mental health journey and her new reflection on mental illness and mental wellness. One of my favorite lines from her book, she shared “It’s actually very empowering to think about: I have the power to change my life”.  One of the coolest things about Andrea Barber is her passion for speaking about suicide prevention and awareness. You will just adore the advice she gives. And finally, her most impactful message is this: "The most important thing perspective has taught me, and what I want to tell anyone out there who has been made to feel too broken to love, is that your illness does not define you.”  Isn’t she just incredible?!    Andrea's book https://www.amazon.com/Full-Circle-Hollywood-Real-Life/dp/0806539887 Follow Andrea on social media @andreabarber  If you would like to apply for the 3rd annual UK OCD Camp please visit theocdcamp.com • Applications close 19th January • Interviews (15 mins) – W/C 27th January • If selected payment due by 1st March

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  There has been a lot of talk lately in the OCD Community surrounding this big question “Does Khloe Kardashian have OCD?” I know a lot of you are really struggling with this topic, feeling unseen, unheard and misunderstood.  In a recent episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Khloe’s mom, Kris Jenner discussed her daughter Khloe’s overwhelming need to be organized. She shared, “Khloe is the most organized, cleanest, most obsessive person I know in her own home. But lately, she’s on another level.” In response, Khloe explained: "Being the control freak that I am, this experience is torture”. However, she also has been known to explain her need to be organized as “a good thing” and something that “helps” her in her life.  This brings us to the big question: Does Khloe Kardashian have OCD?  Well, the most important thing to remember in this podcast episode is that we cannot diagnose someone we haven’t met. Please keep this in mind as we address this very important topic.  In an effort to do my due diligence, I consulted with an attorney on this and he confirmed that it is not appropriate to diagnose someone you haven’t met. He reported that this is an ethical issue, not a legal issue.  One of the big questions that arose after this recent Kardashian episode was, “Can you treat someone you haven’t diagnosed?” Again, when consulting with an attorney, we revealed that a therapist technically can in situations where it is not necessary to diagnose someone. However, in order to implement a treatment tool, it is a good standard of care to do a full assessment to be sure the treatment modality and related tools are appropriate for the person we are meeting with.  In an effort to discuss if Khloe Kardashian has OCD and if her description of symptoms and presentation of symptoms meets criteria to be OCD, we would first need to have a good understanding of what OCD is diagnostically.  In the episode, we discuss in depth the Diagnostic Criteria for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, in an effort to thoroughly educate and advocate for those who have OCD and who are struggling to ask for help.  Diagnostic Criteria (Directly from the DMS 5) A. Presence of obsessions, compulsions, or both: Obsessions are defined by (1) and (2): Recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or images that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and unwanted, and that in most individuals cause marked anxiety or distress. The individual attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, urges, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action (i.e., by performing a compulsion). Compulsions are defined by (1) and (2): Repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, repeating words silently) that the individual feels driven to perform in response to an obsession or according to rules that must be applied rigidly. The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing anxiety or distress, or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent, or are clearly excessive. Note: Young children may not be able to articulate the aims of these behaviors or mental acts. B. The obsessions or compulsions are time-consuming (e.g., take more than 1 hour per day) or cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. C. The obsessive-compulsive symptoms are not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or another medical condition. It is important that we specify if the symptoms are accompanied by good, fair or poor insight, as this can help us differentiate between the diagnosis of OCD and other mental illnesses that may look the same. With good or fair insight: The individual recognizes that obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are definitely or probably not true or that they may or may not be true. With poor insight: The individual thinks obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are probably true. With absent insight/delusional beliefs: The individual is completely convinced that obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are true. D. The disturbance is not better explained by the symptoms of another mental disorder, differential diagnosis or set of symptoms In an effort to really give you a good understanding of other diagnostic possibilities for someone showing similar, but not exact symptoms, I wanted to address some symptoms and disorders that would need to be RULED OUT before treatment. The reason for this is that small differences in the symptoms may drastically change the course of correct treatment. This is a crucial part of the assessment process, done by a therapist, psychiatrist, medical doctor or psychiatric nurse.  The first is perfectionism which can be divided into two categories, adaptive and maladaptive. Adaptive perfectionism is a type of perfectionism that improves the quality of someone’s life while maladaptive perfectionism negatively impacts a person's life. Research has shown that both adaptive and maladaptive perfectionists have high personal standards, but failing to meet those standards can have a negative impact.  Perfectionism can also be categorized by orientation. Self-oriented perfectionism is perfectionism that is pushed by the individual person. Self-oriented perfectionists are very hard on themselves, set very high standards for themselves and have rules and expectations that are often unreasonable. Socially prescribed perfectionism is perfectionism that occurs due to societal expectations. This might include the expectation to get good grades in order to have a good life or having to have the “perfect” body to be loved.  It is also important that we address the similarities and differences between OCD and OCPD. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5), OCPD is explained as "a pervasive pattern of preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and mental and interpersonal control, at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency." People with OCPD have an unhealthy expectation of achieving perfection and have an excessive devotion to work at the expense of leisure time and close personal relationships. They are often inflexible with issues related to ethics and morality and can be seen as judgmental and expect others to live to the same standard.  So, when answering the question, “Does Khloe Kardashian have OCD?” I encourage us all to do our best to continue to educate others on the differences between OCD, levels of insight related to OCD, perfectionism, and OCPD. I strongly encourage you all to read Shala Nicely's amazing blog post about this exact issue, mostly addressing the misuse of the term, “I am so OCD” https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/ocd-is-not-what-you-think/ References used in this podcast https://www.apa.org/monitor/nov03/manyfaces https://www.anxiety.org/what-is-the-difference-between-ocpd-and-ocd-and-how-are-they-treated

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit.  Today I talk about how "you cannot skip the line." This podcast episode is about an event that happened to me a few weeks ago that blew my mind. It pretty much punched me in the gut. Yes, you read that right. It was a hard, hard day. In this episode, I speak about attending a meditation class and being given a very hard lesson. The lesson was, “You cannot skip the line”. Let me tell you more. In this class, I asked what I thought was a simple question. Without expecting it, the teacher taught me a very important lesson that I think will impact me for quite some time.  She responded with “There is a lesson for everyone here. It is important that you do not skip the line here. You must do the work. If you haven’t wrestled with this practice over and over, do not come to me for the answers.”  I was embarrassed. I felt ashamed. I felt called out. I felt anger.  But, after some time and contemplation, I asked myself, “Is there a pattern here?” And guess what?!  There was. The lesson was that you cannot skip the line to the “know” the answer. When you “skip the line”, you prevent yourself from learning the real process. Knowing will only help for the first time or two. After that, it takes practice and patience.  In this episode, I will walk you through a 4 step process to help you lean in and do the work instead of just asking questions.  These steps include being aware that you cannot skip the line and then catching yourself when you are doing such behavior. The steps also involve being honest with yourself when you are engaging in such behavior instead of staying in the unknown. The goal is to be as patient as you can along the way. And lastly, the most important step involves Compassion, Compassion, Compassion.  I hope this helps you in some way to notice when you are “skipping the line." Sign up for our FREE weekly newsletter. Incredible tools, tips, and mental health resources! Click here for more information. Please check out this excellent blog post by the amazing Shala Nicely, LPC on the problem with saying "I'm so OCD."

Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. In this week's podcast, I want to talk with you about how I failed 100 times this year. Wait, What?!?! Yes, you heard right! In 2019, I made the goal to fail on purpose 100 times. The goal was to set my goals so high that I was forced to fail. And guess what? I failed 100 times. I possibly failed 1000 times. I failed so many times I lost count. In this podcast, my hope is to share with you my personal experiment in changing the way that I feel and respond to the thought of failure.  Here are examples of how I failed 100 times:  •    I asked a lot of people to come on the podcast.  A lot of people said no.  I knew they would, but I figured it was worth a try.  But, do you know what I learned? I learned that a lot of people I didn’t think would say yes did.   •    I took a course that was so hard and out of my line of skills and really struggled to complete it.  •    I started playing the ukulele even though I was so afraid of being terrible at it (which I am).  •    I pitched a book to a publishing company (more on this later).  •    I said yes to being Room Mum for both of my kids (knowing I would not be the best at it). •    I aimed to increase registration for ERP School and we did it. We reached the highest registration yet.  But here is the thing. I also failed 100 times at things I never set out to fail at. I had to accept in many ways that I cannot push my body to do things that I simply could not do. This was the hardest part about failing. I had to stare my fear of failing at the easy stuff over and over again.  Here are examples of how I not only failed 100 times, but gave myself permission to fail, even though it hurt so much.  ◆    Remember that course I told you about? I got so sick, I didn’t finish it. I had to drop out and this made me face imperfection and failure head-on.   ◆    I was a less than perfect therapist! I missed sessions with clients, and I double booked clients during times when I was so overwhelmed.    ◆    I gave myself permission to share the struggles I have had with friends. I was so embarrassed to do this, but I am so glad I did.  I learned that when you share your struggles, you actually feel more connected with the people around you.   But finally, the most important example of how I failed 100 times is the decision I have made to take a month off of the podcast. After much consideration, I have decided to listen to my body and take the month of December to rest, rejuvenate and repair. I fought this decision for a long time, but I know it is what I need. With that being said, I want to thank you for being so loyal and kind to me. I adore your support. I wish you a very Happy 2019 Holiday! I will be back in January, ready to go. Ready to fail!  FREE anxiety video training! Learn how to become more intentional with the words you use to describe yourself, your experiences and your future. Cbtschool.com/thinkwisely

Are you struggling with gratitude this holiday season?  If so, this episode is exactly what you might need to hear.  In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I spoke with Shala Nicely about struggling with gratitude.  Together, we address why some people might be struggling with gratitude or being grateful, especially if they are also struggling with mental health.   In this episode, Shala Nicely addresses the personal struggles she has had in the past with gratitude and some incredible tools to manage this.  Shala so beautifully articulates three common reasons why people struggle with gratitude. The first two struggles fall under the category, that Shala calls, gratitude by comparison. This often occurs when you are supposed to be doing “better” than someone else, but you do not feel very grateful. Shala explains that gratitude by comparison can fall into two separate categories: relief-induced gratitude and guilt-induced gratitude. The third common struggle is forced gratitude.  An example of this might be, “I should be grateful and I’m not. What’s wrong with me?” or, “You have everything going for you. Why can’t you just be thankful for what you have instead of focusing on the negative?”  I love that Shala addresses how forced gratitude quickly becomes what we know clinically as toxic positivity.  Some great tips if you are struggling with gratitude might be:              • Mindfulness  • Practicing wonder, curiosity or beginners mind             • Non-Judgment              • Give yourself permission to not practice gratitude over the holidays BFRB SCHOOL is here! A COMPLETE ONLINE COURSE FOR BODY-FOCUSED REPETITIVE BEHAVIORS (BFRB’s) Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling) Compulsive Skin Picking Compulsive Nail Biting https://www.cbtschool.com/bfrb-school-online-course-trichotillomania-skin-picking Free Video Training for Anxiety! Cbtschool.com/thinkwisely Check out these other fantastic episodes featuring Shala Nicely!

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today we have a very special guest, Giulia Suro, Ph.D., who is going to talk to us about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and how we can use ACT tools in our everyday life. Giulia is a psychologist in private practice in the Washington, D.C. area. She is passionate about ACT and helping her clients develop a new way of looking at their thoughts and feelings. Giulia does such a beautiful job of bringing these ACT tools to us in a compassionate and articulate manner. Thank you, Giulia! In this episode, we address how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy centers on the concept of mindfulness. We learn that ACT is really quite unique because anyone can use the tools regardless of the struggles they are facing. Giulia discusses how fighting or resisting those struggles can impact us in the long term and we learn that ACT involves moving towards our values. We also address the core ACT tools that Giulia uses in her daily life and in her practice, such as, the Bullseye worksheet (link below).  Giulia Suro beautifully addresses the following questions with grace, care, and expertise:  What is ACT?  Why do we use ACT In everyday life?  How can it complement our recovery/wellness plan?  What tools does she use with her clients?  What tools does she personally use?  What struggles does she see some of her clients go through when practicing ACT? Giulia's Website: www.giuliasuro.com Instagram @drgiuliasuro Workbook: Learning To Thrive Bullseye Worksheet file:///Users/kimberleyjquinlan/Downloads/Bulls%20Eye%20Values%20Exercise.pdf BFRB SCHOOL is here! A COMPLETE ONLINE COURSE FOR BODY-FOCUSED REPETITIVE BEHAVIORS (BFRB's) Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling) Compulsive Skin Picking Compulsive Nail Biting https://www.cbtschool.com/bfrb-school-online-course-trichotillomania-skin-picking

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  This topic has been a long time coming, and highly requested. This week’s podcast is all about anxiety and sex.  In this podcast, we talk about how anxiety and sex can become two peas in a pod and how anxiety can present itself in many different ways.   While I am not a sex therapist, I do have a lot of experience talking with my clients about anxiety and sex. The truth is, there are many ways anxiety shows up during sex, or sex shows up in our anxiety. This is true for many people and this can become very confusing.  People often report anxiety impacting sex in many ways.  This might include loss of arousal, loss of libido or interest in sex, intrusive thoughts during sexual intercourse, hyper-awareness of sexual-related sensations and many more.   In this week’s episode, we address the following topics             •          Social Anxiety:  In social anxiety, people are afraid of being judged by their sexual partner and will often avoid sexual interactions in fear of being judged. For people struggling with social anxiety and sex, they must accept the risk of being judged and work to find a partner who respects them and their fears.  Finding safety in a partner can help immensely.              •          Performance anxiety: This involves the fear of not being able to perform well (or perfectly) in sexual interactions.  This is very common and often involves setting realistic expectations for ourselves.               •          OCD: There are many ways that OCD can create anxiety around sexual intimacy. This is most common for those who have sexual orientation obsessions, relationship obsessions, or pedophilia obsessions              •          Panic Disorder: Symptoms of panic can often come on during all stages of intimacy, not just anticipatory anxiety               •          Trauma: Trauma is a very important component to address.  We encourage people who have trauma in this area to seek professional mental health care and work through these issues with a safe and caring clinician. Find a Sex Therapist:  https://www.aasect.org/aasect-requirements-sex-therapist-certification https://www.amazon.com/Passionate-Marriage/dp/B00159T73Q

Hello there everyone and welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. This week's episode is all about how to prevent Social Anxiety. I know that the title, “How to Prevent Social Anxiety” might sound a little fishy, but in this episode, we are going to look at some groundbreaking new research on social anxiety that might help us to understand the relationship between shyness and social phobia and how to prevent social anxiety in adolescence. In this incredible new finding, researchers found that there is a direct relationship between shyness and social anxiety in pre-adolescents. For the purpose of this episode, we will define shyness as the feeling of apprehension, lack of comfort, or awkwardness. These symptoms will increase, especially when a person is around other people and in new or unfamiliar situations. This research found that negative social self-cognitions mediate the shyness - social anxiety link, whereas, social interpretation bias does not. Social interpretation bias, by definition, is the tendency to interpret ambiguous situations in a positive or negative fashion. What does this mean in regard to how to prevent social anxiety, you may ask? Basically, if we can teach pre-teens how to interpret themselves in a more positive way, we might be able to reduce the impact of social anxiety in adulthood. This research showed that prevention should address the negative self-cognition of shy (pre-)adolescents. So examples such as the below statements might be corrected into more logical and objective statements. ◆“I am a fool” ◆“There is something wrong with me” ◆“I look like an idiot”  More Objective Statements ◆I am not for everyone ◆Just because there was silence, doesn’t mean I am incapable of being in social settings ◆It's ok that they didn’t laugh at my jokes. One person's “funny” isn’t everyone's version of funny. Link to research. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0193397318302818

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast! Do you know what POTS is? I didn’t know either until earlier this year, and my life has not been the same ever since. Let me tell you one thing, we are NOT talking about something that holds plants and something you cook spaghetti in. This episode is all about Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, also called POTS for short. Why? Because October is Dysautonomia Awareness month and because I have recently been diagnosed with POTS. This episode is aimed at educating you about POTS and also addresses my own experience of being diagnosed with a chronic medical condition. It has been an emotional ride, and my hope is to share with you a few tools that have helped me to manage this news and the ongoing treatment that I will need to adhere to. Thank you so much for supporting me this year. Your messages and kindness has been overwhelmingly positive and I am so grateful for you all. So, what is POTS? Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) is a condition that affects circulation (blood flow). Basically, for most people, our autonomic nervous system works to control and regulate our vital bodily functions and our sympathetic nervous system, which activates the fight or flight response. However, if you have POTS you have what is called orthostatic intolerance. What this means is that when standing up from a reclining position, blood pools in the legs causing lightheadedness, fainting, and an uncomfortable, rapid increase in heartbeat. People with POTS have trouble regulating the blood vessel squeeze and heart rate response causing blood pressure to be unsteady and unstable. Each case of POTS is different. Patients may see symptoms come and go over a period of years. In my case, I have probably had it my whole adult life, but it has worsened enough to need medical attention. In most cases, with proper adjustments in diet, medications and physical activity, a person with POTS will see an improvement in quality of life. People with POTS usually suffer from two or more of the many symptoms listed below. • High/low blood pressure • High/low heart rate; racing heart rate • Chest pain • Dizziness/lightheadedness especially in standing up, prolonged standing in one position, or long walks • Fainting or near-fainting • Exhaustion/fatigue • Abdominal pain and bloating, nausea • Temperature deregulation (hot or cold) • Nervous, jittery feeling • Forgetfulness and trouble focusing (brain fog) • Blurred vision • Headaches and body pain/aches (may feel flu-like); neck pain • Insomnia and frequent awakenings from sleep, chest pain and racing heart rate during sleep, excessive sweating • Shakiness/tremors especially with adrenaline surges • Discoloration of feet and hands • Exercise intolerance • Excessive or lack of sweating • Diarrhea and/or constipation Please go to the below website for more information on POTS https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/16560-postural-orthostatic-tachycardia-syndrome-pots

Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast! Today I am so thrilled to introduce to you this week's guest, Alegra Kastens, MA. Alegra is not just a guest on the podcast. Alegra is also a very important part of CBT School and has helped me so much since CBT School launched in 2018. Alegra Kastens has been a huge part of the creation of this podcast, uploading it each week, creating a lot of the technological support, creating images and supporting me when I am struggling with all the projects. Alegra is now moving forward with her career and is working as a therapist who specializes in OCD. In today's discussion, Alegra told us about the first moment she had her first intrusive thought and how these impacted her life. She also shared with us the process of her finally deciding to ask for help, even though she was petrified and so ashamed. Alegra shared what she found helpful and not helpful from her therapist and how she was supported and encouraged to seek specialized OCD treatment from her therapist who did not specialize in OCD. What I loved most about this episode is that Alegra Kastens so candidly talks about her experience of shame, guilt, and stigma related to having OCD. Alegra’s main sub-type of OCD was pedophilia obsessions, which caused her to be stuck in self-doubt, self-criticism and complete panic for a very long time. Alegra Kastens shared what it was like to experience sexual obsessions such as pedophilia obsessions and what it was like to undergo Exposure and Response prevention for her OCD symptoms. Alegra shared some of the ERP exposures looked like and the importance of being given psycho-education about ERP before beginning. I loved how much education and inspiration Alegra Kastens brought to this conversation. To learn more about her story, click HERE to read an article she wrote for IntrusiveThoughts.org. For more information on Alegra Kastens, visit: Instagram: @ObsessivelyEverAfter Website: www.alegrakastens.com Psychology Today blog: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-things-anxiety

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast. This week’s podcast was recorded from an RV on Pacific Coast Highway.  It was the last day of my birthday celebration and I rented and drove a 35-foot RV to the beach so I could celebrate my new year with my dear friends and dear family.  As I sat back, I reflected on what my biggest goal was for my 38th year.  My goal for the upcoming year is NO MORE RUSHING. That’s right!  I have made a deal with myself.  NO MORE RUSHING.  No more rushing my kids.  No more rushing my family.  No more rushing my joy. No more rushing my anxiety.  My hope for my 38th year is to slow down and really drop down into the present moment. My hope is to be present and absorb the joy that exists all around me. Since I made the goal of no more rushing, I have found that I am more aware of all of the beauty in my life and I am more present to really see the amazing people and places around me.  On this birthday weekend, we sat on the beach and just absorbed the love that we all felt for each other.  We looked up to the horizon instead of focusing on the road and the computer screens and the phones.  We connected and I didn’t rush a thing.  My hope for this podcast is to inspire you to take on the goal of NO MORE RUSHING and just see how much beauty that comes from this. OCD Awareness Week, from October 13-19, is almost here!  This year’s awareness-raising campaign is focused on sharing videos of you and your friends facing your fears.  The goal is to educate the public about the realities of living with OCD and the challenge of having to face your fears on the path to recovery. To participate, the IOCDF is asking everyone to create a video or photo of themselves doing something that makes them anxious and then to post on any and all social media platforms with the hashtags #FaceYourFear and #OCDWeek.

Do you ever wonder how to live in the present? Is this a question you ask yourself often? Or, have you already got a good mindfulness practice, but you wonder how to live in the present when it comes to intrusive thoughts, intrusive images and strong emotions and urges? If this sounds true for you, you are not alone. I, too, am constantly on a mission to figure out how to live in the present in a more authentic and mindful way. In this week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, we take a CBT SCHOOL listener’s question. A wonderful member of our CBT School community reached out and asked a very important question and instead of replying personally, I thought it would benefit everyone by addressing this question with you all. Considering that I am always on a mission to solve the question of how to live in the present, I thought we could all take a look at this issue together! The listener’s question is:  "I work hard to implement mindfulness in my life, and in many ways it makes sense and helps me. But sometimes I feel like I escape when I try to live in the present moment. It's like my OCD tells me ‘wow, you have learned a new tool…great, but do you know what – if something is contaminated or dangerous it doesn't matter if you try to live in the present moment. You are just kidding yourself!  You have to take care of the problems from yesterday and you have to make sure you have a future to live in. Don't be fooled into that mindfulness stuff…’ My mind gets twisted. Do you have any thoughts that can bring some clarity?” Before we go, I want to remind you of two wonderful awareness weeks!  BFRB Awareness week is happening NOW and ends on October 7.  You can participate by attending local events, joining the conversation online, and more.  Click HERE for more information. OCD Awareness Week, from October 13-19, is almost here!  This year’s awareness-raising campaign is focused on sharing videos of you and your friends facing your fears.  The goal is to educate the public about the realities of living with OCD and the challenge of having to face your fears on the path to recovery. To participate, the IOCDF is asking everyone to create a video or photo of themselves doing something that makes them anxious and then to post on any and all social media platforms with the hashtags #FaceYourFear and #OCDWeek.

In today’s episode, we are talking all about how to manage Perfectionism. I am so honored to have Monica Packer on the podcast as this week’s guest, as she has such an inspirational story about how she was impacted by perfectionism and what steps she is taking each day to take her life back from Perfectionism.  This episode is jam packed with tools and strategies to demonstrate how to manage perfectionism in your life.   In this episode, Monica answered the below questions and delivered some incredible insight into how to manage perfectionism in areas I myself had never considered.   What is perfectionism and how has it impacted your life? What did perfectionism look like for you personally?  We often praise people who are “perfect."  What are your thoughts on this?  At what point in your life did you realize you were a perfectionist?  What did perfectionism look like for you personally?  How long had you experienced perfectionism?  What was your experience with overcoming perfectionism?  What advice do you have to those who experience perfectionism? Were there any roadblocks/setbacks etc to this journey for you? If you are early in the process of learning about perfectionism or you are well aware of your perfectionistic characteristics, I am sure you will benefit from this incredible interview. For more information on Monica, visit: Instagram: @aboutprogress  Facebook: @aboutprogress Website: aboutprogress.com Before we go, I want to remind you that ERP School for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is available for purchase until October 1, 2019! ERP School is a complete online course that teaches how to apply Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) to your Obsessions and Compulsions. Click HERE for more information and to purchase.

This week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is called “Watch your mouth” and I mean that in the kindest possible way. I know we usually hear the phrase “Watch your mouth” as a phrase of discipline and can often be shocked or intimidated by such a statement. In this episode, we talk all about the words we use in daily life.  We address how we often say things that simply are not true, or are quite unkind. Because we often unconsciously believe what we tell ourselves, we have be careful not to address ourselves in ways that are unhelpful. Take a quick look at the below examples: • “I NEVER do anything right” • “I am so BAD for having this thought” • “You ALWAYS make me anxious”  Here are a few examples of ways in which we say things that are untrue and unhelpful. When we do this, we not only feed ourselves stories that are unhelpful but we also create an environment where negativity exists. I can make the assumption that these negative statements are not helpful for you. In this episode, we hope to inspire you to “watch your mouth” carefully and take note when you are speaking in a way that might exacerbate your anxiety.  ALSO, We also have fabulous news! Exposure & Response Prevention School is BACK! ERP School was carefully created to cover the most important components of Exposure & Response Prevention. The ERP School includes the following modules:  1. The Science behind Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) 2. Identifying YOUR Obsessions and Compulsions 3. Different Approaches to Practicing Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) 1. Gradual Exposure & Response Prevention 2. Scripting and Flooding. 3. Opposite Action Skills 4. Interoceptive ERP 5. Let's Get Creative with ERP 4. Managing Uncertainty and Discomfort with Mindfulness 5. Troubleshooting Common Issues and Concerns 6. BONUS Material: OCD Sub-types and Themes We like to keep the courses super affordable so that everyone gets a chance to learn the tools needed to manage anxiety, obsessions, and compulsions. Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) School is $197.   Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) School includes 18 videos, supplemental PDF's and handouts to help you apply the content to your obsessions and compulsions, as well as a BONUS 7 videos on applying ERP to the common OCD Sub-types. In total, the course is almost 5 hours of the same ERP information and skills I teach my face-to-face clients. CBT School is committed to supporting you throughout this process. If you have any questions, Kimberley meets bi-monthly on Facebook and Instagram for her LIVE MAGIC MONDAY Q&A hour (every second and fourth Monday at 12 pm PST) where she answers questions and troubleshoots any concerns you may have. Once you have purchased the course, you will have unlimited access to the videos. Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) School is available for purchase just a few times per year. The cart for ERP School will open again September 20th, 2019 so get excited! For more information on the course and to purchase, click HERE.

I am honored to have Steven C. Hayes, author of A Liberated Mind: How to Pivot Towards What Matters, back on the Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. He was on Ep. 83 and is joining us again! There is nothing that makes me happier than to chat with Steven Hayes about the unbelievable work he is doing and I cannot tell you how much I adored his most recent book. In this week's podcast episode, Steven Hayes addressed how we can reach a liberated mind by improving psychological flexibility and moving away from psychological rigidity.  Not only does Hayes address these important topics using a combination of science and reason, but he also discussed how we can access a liberated mind by practicing compassion and kindness, and by seeking out our own set of values. During this conversation, we touched on some really difficult topics including suicidal ideation, immigration, global warming and other issues that impact the state of the world. Steven Hayes does such a beautiful job teaching us how we can reach be more open to our suffering and be open and flexible with other people’s suffering.  Steven Hayes also addresses how we overuse problem-solving with our emotions. He talks about how we can create our own “hero’s journey” by choosing a path that feels liberating and freeing, instead of one that is powerless and rigid.  For more information on Steven Hayes, click below: Website: https://stevenchayes.com/ TedX: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o79_gmO5ppg To purchase his most recent book: https://www.amazon.com/Liberated-Mind-Pivot-Toward-Matters-ebook/dp/B07LDSPRYM A book freebie:https://stevenchayes.com/a-liberated-mind/ Steven Universe video - "Here Comes a Thought": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHg50mdODFM

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit.   Today we are talking all about Accepting our Common Humanity.  You may remember that Kristin Neff was on the podcast (Ep. 87) and she spoke about how Common Humanity is a core component of Mindful Self-Compassion.  In that interview, Kristin Neff spoke about how we must notice that we are all in this together.  Her description of Common Humanity is that we are never alone because all humans suffer and all humans feel emotions similar to what you are feeling, although it might not have the same content and be experienced from the same source of stress. Kristen Neff also addressed how we should not compare our suffering to that of another.  When we do that, we minimize our own suffering and we reject the common humanity that we all experience. In this episode, my goal was to share with you some of the struggles I have had in accepting my own human-ness.  As I have battled multiple medical issues this year, I have had to face my common humanity over and over again.  I have had to stare my human-ness in the face, which has been both painful and freeing.  I have had to reflect many times on how I am treating myself and how to create a more self-compassionate life that involves me setting realistic expectations for myself, treating myself with love and care when I am not feeling well and being honest with myself about what I can and cannot achieve or do.    This journey of common humanity has been such a huge one for me and one that I hope brings you some awareness or hope.  I often hear listeners and members of the CBT School community talk about how hard they are on themselves and how they hold themselves to standards that are impossible and outright cruel.  If this resonates with you, this episode is for you.