When you go into the circle and it gets tighter and tighter and you realize that something is around your neck and know that if you don't smile in just the right way you are dead. That's life in the Big Leagues. Where the Grand Ones live and dine. Where Stalin lived and died. And where you and I must now go. Tonight. "I wasn't afraid but now I'm afraid."

"The War and the Warrior" Written by Tom DeFalco, pencilled by Pat Olliffe, inked by Al Milgrom, coloured by Mick Rockwitz, and lettered by Michael Heisler. March 1992 "Twenty Million Light Years From Earth" Written by Mark Gruenwald, pencilled by Rik Levins, inked by Danny Bulanadi, coloured by Christie Scheele, and lettered by Joe Rosen. April 1992

God this collection of stories sucks. Somehow though, because Chris, James, and James are True Professionals, they still manage to talk for nearly two hours. This is the nature of the beast that is The Sandman: Fables and Reflections. Like this podcast, it is a great yawning chasm of words that numb you into complacency. Do you wish to submit to our discourse? "I do not dance. Not even with you, my wife."

Spoiled western rat children are run amok. A psycho has seized Santa's village. The Federal government has activated the contract. James and James are on the scene. Santa is here to clean house. And clean house he does. Christmas is back everyone. No worries. "Fentanyl. Yeah. That'll get the job done."

Deck the halls with gore and monsters, fa la la la la, lalala. 'Tis the season to be sorry, fa la la la la, lalala. Don we now our dreadful horror, fa la la la la, lalala. Christ Mass time is Junji Ito time. Your time to connect with the one you love. Tomie. The only one you love. The one who's love consumes you from the inside out. The one who's love just makes you want to cut her into pieces. Don't hide it. I want it too. She is everything.... "I told you not to leave my condo!"

This December, Chris, James, and James celebrate the Mass of Christ. And what better way to celebrate the flesh and the blood than a cannibal flick? Eli Roth had a beautiful experience deep in the forest of Peru. He shows us how beautiful. We gaze into the crimson mirror of gore. We are the enemy. There is nothing we can do. "Only a freshman would speak with such insolence."

"Storm Gathering" Written by Bob Harras, pencilled by Steve Epting, inked and coloured by Tom Palmer, and lettered by Bill Oakley. "Decision in a Vacuum" Written by Len Kaminski, pencilled by Paul Ryan, inked by Bob Wiacek, coloured by Mike Rockwitz, and lettered by Michael Heisler.

Chris, James, and James sit down to a banquet of authentic Indian cuisine, including snake surprise and chilled monkey brains. The child ruler assures us that the Thugee are no more. We rest comfortably, fattened in our ignorance. All is well until an interloping grave robber sees fit to insult our hallowed palace... "Indie, I love you!"

Chris, James, and James, like a myriad of eyes winking across the desert floor, squat firmly among the blackness of sleep. We pull back the curtain of self-deception and insecurity to reveal the final drama of a forgotten land. The Cuckoo is our mistress. We obey. We give all to obey. "Um. Are you okay?"

"The Tomb of Mar-Vell" Written by Marc Gruenwald, pencilled by Greg Capullo, inked by Henry Candelario, coloured by Joe Rosas, and lettered by Janice Chiang. "Shared Space" Written by Gerard Jones, pencilled by Jeff Johnson, inked by Dan Panosian, coloured by Joe Rosas, and lettered by Pat Brosseau. March, 1992

Chris, James, and James discuss Misery. Not the book though, none of us had ever read that. In fact, of the three of us, only one soldier had ever read a Stephen King novel before. Mind you, that one soldier read, like, a lot of Stephen King novels so we felt sufficiently qualified to tackle the matter. Besides: great movie. Real classic. Who even reads nowadays anyway? Losers. "Oh Darling, it will be so beautiful."

Chris and James meow me ow meowmeow meow me ow meowme ow moew Kazuo Umezz meow me owmeowmeow meow me Cat Eyed Boy Vol. 1 and 2 ow meow meowmeow Viz Media meow meow adolescent horror meow me owmeow no innocence meow me owmeow. Meow. "They got my eyes and throat!"

This episode, Chris, James, and James are enveloped in a radiant, indescribable light. Their bodies, mutated, fused together, struggle like amoebas--hungry, monstrous, internecine war stomachs. A Colour Out of Space compels them, drives them, burns them into and against one another. An Alpaca screeches its unholy misery while Tommy Chong passes the blunt. "Drink? I'm having one."

"Turn of the Sentry" Written by Roy and Dann Thomas, pencilled by Dave Ross, inked by Tim Dzon, coloured by Bob Sharen, and lettered by Joe Rosen. March, 1992

Chris, James, and James are back at it! The Sandman: Season of Mists. We look it over from stem to stern. But be warned! At the 50 minute mark or so some communist infiltrators attack the podcast--YOUR podcast--with a sonic weapon, leaving our hosts mildly irritated and apologetic. Rest assured, we've destroyed the enemy and you needn't worry about anything at all ever again. "Hell is closed."

Chris, James, and James hit the LZ running, moving straight into the ruined heart of a once vibrant but oppressed country. Tom King guides the way. Mitch Gerads makes it real. We are smitten (almost). We are troubled (completely). But at least there is progress. At least there is that. "I want a cigarette before you kill me"

"It Came From Outer Space" Written by Mark Gruenwald, pencilled by Rik Levins, inked by Danny Bulanadi, coloured by Christie Scheele, and lettered by Joe Rosen. March 1992

James and James are very enthusiastic this week. Our breathless passion will give you pause. Can you trust us? Do you know, really know, where we stand? And where you stand? In Sin City? I doubt it. I really really doubt it. "Everybody calls it Blitz"

To be powerful as a man, you must be corrupt. The truth-seeker is inept and jailed. Listen to Chris and James marvel at their hero's uncompromising purity of purpose. Ponder the meaning of his love with the innocent foreign boy. Grow concerned as they elaborate upon the strange world contained within Akimi Yoshida's.... Banana Fish! "Of course, if he's been infected with HIV, that's a different story."

James and James are hunting snark. They look for it under the logs and in the forest of the night. But something is killing the children. And so they ask whether James Tynion IV or Werther Dell'Edera have anything to do with it. A steady drum beat wakes the dawn. "You knew this was going to happen, didn't you?"

Chris, James, and James explore yet another of the comics industry's extended reactions to the Image Revolution of the 1990s. This week: The Reign of the Supermen crossover. But only the middle part. That's right, the boring part with the lowest imaginable stakes. The part where you can have the least amount of fun. That was a good idea, right? "Toast 'im!"  

Chris, James, and James renewed their passport. The flight for Dream Country leaves anon. And although the journey may be short, our intrepid explorers vow to wander among the byways and corridors and cul de sacs of this furtive realm. There are mysteries and secrets to unearth. Open a page. Start the adventure. "A beautiful child. Most pleasant. Will I meet him?"

This week, Chris, James, and James march merrily along into a murderous multitude of serial killers and mask our faces with our mitts as the machinations of Desire unfold! That's right! We're back at it with Neil's Gaiman's The Sandman. Pierce the veil of haunted sleep with us. Dream a little dream. "Like every true citadel since time began, the Threshold is inhabited."

James and James cap off this year's Avatar August with a return to the man from the Thames Delta himself: Warren Ellis. Steampunk Sherlock Holmes? Check. Cast off ideas from Planetary? Check. Half-baked ideas drawn from popular science websites? Check. It's a perfect storm. Get your galoshes and brew your tea. "But once you've heard the song of a spaceship, you'd never be anything but a royal naval outer serviceman."

Chris, James, and James continue with Avatar August. In 2014 and 2015, Alan Moore (you may have heard of him) took some time out of his busy Northampton schedule to dig deep into his ongoing concerns about global ecological and civilizational collapse. The result was Crossed +100 #1-6. We decode the lingo, unlock the keys of meaning, and otherwise pull this thing apart, showing our esteemed colleagues (aka YOU) how it all works. "Huh. Movie."

Chris, James, and James kick off this year's Avatar August with yet another look into the mind of Garth Ennis. Ever seen Alien? Event Horizon? Ever find yourself worried about Body Snatchers? How about all three? Drop out of warp, quick! We've encountered something: Caliban. "...the implications are enormous. And simultaneously, meaningless unless we survive."  

James and James take stock of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as a franchise, talking very briefly about Sophie Campbell's recent teen-friendly work on the series and then looking in-depth at some classics of the past. Most of all, however, they satisfy their lust for the old ultraviolence reading Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Body Count. Kevin Eastman and Simon Bisley, there are no sweeter names in the English lexicon. "I hate guns."

Chris and James discover the raw power of what it means to be a boy in love with another boy. And also what it means to be a Japanese girl. Sorta. We also learn how to suck blood through our finger tips...? And sometimes we forget to reflect light off of our pale, immortal, puerile bodies. Never ever, however, do we fail to reflect at length on the first volume of Fantagraphics' collected edition of The Poe Clan. "Well Matthias? Do you like your roses more than me?"

Only those who are worthy may imbibe our mighty discourse! If yee be so worthy, mayhaps yee may find thy person in the buxom company of fine maidens such as James and James may be. Pour your mead! Man your steed! And prepare thyself for cosmic battle most fierce! Jason Aaron and Esad Ribic kill it in Thor: God of Thunder #1-12 (2013) "life will still find a way."

Chris, James, and James finally press the button. They finally take the plunge. They finally begin that long, dark journey into night. Tonight we finally get down to talking about the Dream Weaver himself, the Sandman. We are going to eat the entire thing. Watch us gorge on the first collected edition, Preludes and Nocturnes. Can we hold it down? Find out! “She’s realized the real problem with stories -- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death.”

Poetry corner! James has been thinking some more about the way that 19C English poet Percy Bysshe Shelley is depicted and used in Grant Morrison's The Invisibles. Bereft of other, more exciting content, he presents to you now a half-baked rendition of his conclusions. "Many a green isle needs must be In the deep wide sea of Misery"    

Post hoc ergo propter hoc. The podcast that literally broke the Canadian internet! Doug Moench and Paul Gulacy deliver a fine soup of pop violence and exploitation. Chris and James weather the storm as best one can. "Woman that rocket of yours -- 'cause fun-time's gon' be launched early today."

Adam pops 'round for a small chat about a wee movie by the name of Universal Soldier. What we lack in preparation and synergy we more than make up for in enjoyment. So enjoy us! If you can... "They're eight seconds behind schedule."  

Chris, James, and James descend right down into the heart of misery itself. Do you trust the government? Should you? Should you when you know that we brought those Nazi scientists over and authorized them to perform secret experiments on the poor ruined body of an abuse victim? When we KNOW that that evil seeps everyday into our homes and into our bodies, destroying love? This isn't just any funny book ladies and gentlemen. This is the funniest book. "Please Tom, not now--I'm busy having sex with other men."

Who are these down-and-out characters? What do their disappearances mean? Their abused childhoods? What nihilism drives them to violence? To self destruction? To eating their own flesh? Tadao Tsuge answers all such questions. Chris and James just need to visit with Drawn and Quarterly's edition of Trash Market. "The steam engine, in the end, was just a steam engine."

Nothing better than a themed episode, is there? Not for us there isn't! Our minds are oiled up. Our thoughts tighter than a young Jane Fonda's ass. You want to know about Killer Croc, greatest Batman villain of them all? Well, look no further than this fine podcast my friend. Sit down. Let James and James tell you the tale... "So how do you like my sense of humor?"

By the Hoary Hosts of Hoggoth and the slithering spirits of the Vishanti, it's a Doctor Strange themed episode of the Xtinction Agenda! Watch Brian K. Vaughan slip on a banana peel in Doctor Strange: The Oath. Then thrill(!) at the unholy union of speed and LSD that is Steve Englehart's and Gene Colan's mid-70s stint on Doctor Strange, Master of the Mystic Arts. "Don't you ever get wise?"

Chris, James, and James plumb the depths of human sexuality. 'Nuff said.

Oh George, we knew yee. We knew yee to be the greatest of the 1970s/1980s team superhero comic book artists. Yee who were worthy of illustrating such luminaries as Thor and Captain America, such villains as Deathstroke and Brainiac, such clowns as Beast Boy (and Beast), such vixens as Starfire and Wonder Woman. We knew yee. Tonight, James and James honour the passing of George Perez with a look at his 1992 collaboration with Peter David on The Incredible Hulk: Future Imperfect. "This had better be good."

James wanted to tell James that Tom King is worth a look, even if he done went and turned trash nowadays. Towards this end, he convinced his colleague to jump into some Vision comics. Both of them got a lot more than they had expected! "So first, I pray that there is a God."

Chris and James have lived a life of great shame. Eating dinner disgusted them. The burden of respect hung heavy on their shoulders. And the Great Father that is Nation held them down like a perverted man servant. But now, although disqualified from humanity itself, they have vomited their misfortunes into a psychedelic hell. Today: Junji Ito's manga adaptation of Osamu Dazai's No Longer Human. "This, I was to learn in later years, was a kind of demonical prophecy."

Chris, James, and James visit Westerburg High School and see what the Heathers are up to. Their cruelties are a pleasure to behold. Like dropping in on teenage Cenobites. Open the box. Come inside. "Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling."

Well, you can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs, can you? James and James explore this notion through the opening gambit of Brian Michael Bendis' and David Finch's first attempt at an Avengers story back in the heyday of 2004. Back when there was no love and no meaning and nothing meant anything. Back when Bendis was king. "You have a thing for her?" "I really do"

James and James slake their eldritch thirst with some Morbius: The Living Vampire comics. But first, before they can do that, it's important that they talk about Spider-Man movies as well. Just for a little bit. It helps to warm the blood and get us ready for the utterly negligent and poorly constructed Morbius comics series of 2013. We genuinely hope that someone got fired for this. "I--I don't know what I'm supposed to do here."

Chris, James, and James utterly savage this week's subject matter. Geoff Johns and Ivan Reis and all these CRIMINALS need to be thrown in the slammer with Hellary Klinton and Racist Grandpa. If we had paid for this comic we would have burned all comics shops down to the ground. But we didn't pay for this comic. Not in any material sense anyway. Only in the spiritual sense. In the sense that only makes sense when one blunders into Blackest Night. "Why do we need to put their remains in a vault?"

James and James return to the topic of the Ole Canucklehead. Larry Hama wrote a good chunk of these Wolverine comics when we were but wee lads. We go back to see what that might have done to our undeveloped minds. Marc Silvestri does not disappoint. "We are beyond fear, beyond hope and beyond pain..."

GO JOE! James and James learn the origin stories of Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, two of G.I. Joe's most interesting and mysterious characters. Larry Hama put a lot of love into this toy commercial franchise. We appreciate that. We really do. "I happen to like empty pistols. I'll buy it from you for fifty dollars."  

Chris, James, and James enjoy some fine literature and some fine animated cinema. Before the Fist of the North Star was a movie, it was a manga. Viz Media started putting out some nice hardcover collected editions of the original series so we thought we'd dip into this mega franchise, see what's up. We were not disappointed. "It's all mine. And your woman, too."