If there's anything I've learnt in these hurting times, it is how bruises crept into me, unawares, unannounced. Here I am one day, coping up famously, and the next minute I've collapsed within myself, in a paroxysm of uncontrolled depression. Without raising a thought, I'm  hurt grievously. The world just doesn't understand. Nobody can see a hurt - hence I can't be.   Whilst, in the meantime, I am sinking, sinking, in a morass of undefinitions. There's no end to the depth, there's no recognizable sign of what drags me in,  what is the nature of climate change that it is both a famine and a flood, where I'm empty and swollen, where I want to grasp whatever I can, as if it's the last straw of the world, and when unable to hold anything, I just let myself go. I rage and cut myself, and break glass, and hurl myself where there is empty space, I can visualize the worst and know it's the end of the world for me,  I don't expect understanding, I don't expect help, I don't recognize help, I know my life to be in the hands of something without definitions, unloved, unappreciated, hung in the middle of nowhere where nobody visits, a place of abandonment, where only the rejects reside - me, me , me.   And I ask myself, why am I needed? What am I worth to anybody? Why is a life of value, why is anything of value? The flowers, the breeze, the insects, the eagles, the flies, are paraphernalia to create a world of falsehoods, where everything is marketed, and everything sold is instantly useless.   And I say why do I exist, why do I live, why am I here, what can I contribute, what do I matter. What do I matter? What do I matter?   And I tell myself goodbye. I'm not sure if I appreciate myself leaving myself alone. But that's the only place left to go.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems on loneliness and desolation -   The Improbability of Wishes The Final Goodbye (or Why Lovers Decide to Die Together) Lost Atlas of Belonging Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected] Subscribe to my newsletter The Uncuts here - https://theuncuts.substack.com   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Blockbuster Atmosphere 3 (Resolution) by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/130-blockbuster-atmosphere-3-resolution- License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Sometimes by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/142-sometimes License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license  

"How do you choose a poem to write? she asked. How do you find the pulse of that vein, that something precious which is nowhere?"   Where does a poem come from? Where is its birth place? What is its ancestry?   I have found poetry as a wound finds its scar, or a plucked flower finds an altar. The process is organic like breathing and unstructured as a heart plunging. It often starts as a curiosity to know deeply about something, a desire to unravel, to understand. But  quickly it becomes an investigation, an overwhelming desire to unravel light.  Fingers become a conduit, ink is the blood which starts flowing from the wounds which burst to reveal truths.   And I see myself clearer, and I see myself uglier. I might not realize that deep inside this ugliness lies the ultimate secret.  Because till then I have not realized that all truths are beautiful, however hideous they might seem. And that's when poetry enters it's most tremulous state - that of healing. For a poem, finally, is a true friend. It is both a mirror and a hand. It jolts you at the same time as it holds you.    You will know whether you've encountered a great poem when you emerge from it fully drenched, lacerated, scarred - but strangely, strangely, alive.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which are rich with the aroma of coffee & love -   Coffee, You & Me Searching for Coffee in Jaipur Lovers In The Morning Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Falling Star by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/90-falling-star License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Angels by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/53-angels License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license  

Hello all you lovers, of poetry, of good things, of love itself. As we start a brand new year, we can only hope to dig out joy out of the debris of despondence and despair. I hope my poetry has been a companion to you, week after week, on all things hopeful, zen-like, heart-breaking but heart-healing too. Every page of my poetry is a survival manual of sorts for me. I hope I have made you come alive too.   I thought it would be a good idea to hear the five most downloaded episodes of Uncut Poetry.   So, with new introductions, please find the top 5 of Uncut Poetry!    The poems featured are - I Think I am in Love with You Indian Summers I Love You The Girl Who Could Lose Everything for Hope Call Me By Your Name I have dipped my pen into my bruises, I have laid down my scars as lines. The music is often a celebration of being alive, and often because I have survived. This journey of thoughts and feelings will continue, and I can only ask you to walk with me, step-to-step, word-to-word, heartbreak-to-heartbreak, healing-to-healing. I promise I will walk on. Can you in turn promise to be with me?  Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - On Fire by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/5147-on-fire License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license   Lockdown by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/7658-lockdown License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license   Sentimental Travel by MusicLFiles Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/6968-sentimental-travel License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license  

"Much of the world has dug deep into the quilty warmth of bodies, wishing the winter to  find its way away  and let sleep wrap them in its insidious ways. And the glory of sun lies lost outside, wasted in lighting corner dustbins, and nooks where spiders glisten as anointed lures.   Winter mornings are glorious. If only we get to see them.   Ensconced in our blankets, our bodies held in the warmth of other bodies, the seduction of status quo is overwhelming. But there's too much which is lost even as we gain in our winter sleep. The winter chill is just a presence, benign, expected, there. Nothing can match the sudden bite of it's wind, the cold regality of things in a state of temporary rigor mortis, the infinitesimal beauty of a dewdrop freezing in its track - and how everything dissolves in front of our eyes as the sun rises. For embedded deep beyond in its cold touch, is the magic of it's warmth.   The winter sun often feels like a touch, evanescent, too gentle for a cruel world, too soft for impact, too fleeting to lay a mark. But it has magic. It's presence is alchemy. Everything opens up to it, everything raises its face to it, eyes closed, trusting it for rejuvenation, resurrection.   It floods the world quickly, looking in askance where it can't reach, lying silently beside dark corners to let them know it's here, coming as hope to those clenched deep into themselves.   Like love, it's presence is more consequential than its persistence.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which take you back into the sunlight -  In the Softest Sunshine of Winter Mother's Rambling Lessons on Life Imparted in Morning Walks Sipping Tea in a Rumi Morning Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Epic Emotional Positive by MusicLFiles Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/7510-epic-emotional-positive License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license  

"We would talk of the day to make the outside world our own, and lay joint claim to our individual memories."   A home is of so many definitions. The place we grow in, the place we get our first intimations of the living world, the place we are desperate to get to at the end of a day - but also the place we are desperate to leave as we grow.   Often a shelter, often a prison, often just a roof, often the very symbol of unquestioning acceptance. We learn the meaning of bruises from those in the next room,  and the ill-imitable depth of love from those further down the hall. We learn there is often no difference between the command of an elder and the confines of an ego. We learn of chains of command and of the subtle exertion of real power.   We learn how some of the hardest decisions come from the softest heart, and male prerogative is often just a cover for cluelessness. We leave home for pilgrimages, when actually we are in search of a home.    Home is deep nights and late escapes. Home is often of going away without looking back. And to die in peace often only means to have  found that address which we can finally call home - and to have that address find us.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which take you back home (and its strange dynamics!) -  It Takes a Long Time to Arrive From Not Very Far Away Extraordinary Life A Morning Ramble on How Love is Rediscovered at the Bottom of Rubble Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Romantic Piano  by Rafael Krux Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/5471-romantic-piano- License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

"I'm a multiplier of the breeze and the sunsets which have moved through me, I'm a quiver of hurts I can ruthlessly give. I'm withdrawn without reason, I can be generous without a reason too."   Anyone's identity is rarely singular - it's a bunch of elements, and mostly, a bunch of contradictions. There is never a case of knowing oneself, but only of accepting oneself. But accepting oneself is a phenomenon. Within its largeness lies the acceptance of others also, as they are. Messy, volcanic, turbulent -whatever everyone is, to accept each as manifestations of the universe, representation of life itself, each one a part of a whole, who we can puzzle over for a lifetime, or simply enjoy as they are.    But more than anything else, each person in our life completes us, with their peculiarities and quiddities. Each one, however small and short their presence in our lives, is a part of the jigsaw puzzle that we are. We can never be complete on our own, we can never discover who we are, alone.   We are a community, we work with others, for a reason. We are thrown together with all kinds of  people, with a purpose. To know what is despicable and not go on that road, or to find a mirror in someone else, recognize ourselves for what we never knew ourselves to be, and know the truth of ourselves.   And to learn to be gentle with ourselves, within the trauma of revelations. We then, finally, fall in love with ourselves.    If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of self-determination -  Searching for Coffee in Jaipur  Hope is Merely Fear with a Poor Choice of Lipstick The Power of No Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - 1000 Lichter by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/3161-1000-lichter License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license   5 vor 12 by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/2973-5-vor-12 License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

"There's always a road waiting for one of the lovers to depart."   The saga of love is a play of light and shadow. There is incident, coincidence, an assemblage of adrenalin, a bellowing of blood, a singling out of songs, a resurgence of senses. Love arranges it's own arrivals, often as a storm, frequently as a story, most often as winter sun. It rearranges parts of our life, it splinters our days in ways that distance hurts -  the desire to be, see, touch, smell, immerse, borders on desperation.   For deep inside, every lover knows that embedded in the ecstasy of a love story is it's extinction. Sometimes as slow burn, sometimes as a turn on the road, generally as gentle drift, often as an exercise of getting lost.   And then the helplessness ensues. Compasses point towards the setting sun, the flowers coalesce into routine, the days stop beckoning, sunrises only show autumns. But it is as if it's preordained - just as love is as much a part of life as breathing, separation is it's conjoined twin.   Why does love wither? Where does it go when it's gone? Are there secret burial grounds for love, epitaph-less, unmarked? Is there a floating cemetery of feelings in heaven for lost love - a consideration for the hurt, commiseration for the haunted, a soul for the homeless?   Because the inevitability of drift is in love's DNA,  it's loss is in its definition, it's celebration is forever aforetime. But we accept its inevitable tragedy, because our life is governed by its presence, and gets its mojo from its promise.   The journey, in life, or love, then, is everything.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of poignant separations -  Heartbreak Lovers of Broken Mountains Fallen Flowers Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Reaching The Sky  [Long Version] by Alexander Nakarada Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/6222-reaching-the-sky--long-version License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license    

"I see him standing with the skies, grafted into the clouds, the breeze resting in his hair, a black & white etching to life.   I gently come behind him, put an arm around his shoulders, as his drift leans into me, he looks at me soft, soft."   I have often stood at the window with my dad, as evenings have drifted in. We've not always spoken much, but after all our years, we are just grateful to have the time we have together.   Whilst growing up, he was the person to whom I turned to for every question. For me, he could never have a wrong answer. My mum was my compass, but my dad was my guide. In a strange way, without expressing it, without saying anything explicitly, he became my embodiment of truths and life's fulfillments.   I doubt he's ever said "I love you, son," to me. It would have felt, and would still feel, awkward. But the truth of those words didn't require their spelling out.   It was there in his patience for me, his gentleness to me, his waiting for me, his giving his hand to me.   My mum, on the other hand, was always in search of the 'truth' and 'meaning' of things. Swinging from one guru to another, one religious text to another, her quest was unquenchable. I loved her stories of the journey. And I realized much before she did (if she did at all!), that it was the journey which had meaning for her, not the end.   In our search for the fount and meaning of life, we are often waylaid by those who complicate truths. When truly, all truths of life are found in just two things -  gratitude and presence.   We can be masters of life and love, if we can be masters of the moment. Embodied in that truth is the script of our entire life.    And I see my dad saying 'I love you' to life with every breath.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which are a tribute to our mum and dad -  Mother's Rambling Lessons on Life Imparted in Morning Walks in my Childhood My Mother's Lines Tea-a-Tete with Mum & Dad Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Elysium by  Alexander Nakarada Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/8451-elysium License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

To receive praise is a need and how to praise is an art.   We tend to be so focused on fulfilling our own desires, that we forget that so many of these fulfillments happen because someone else went on a limb for us. Do we always acknowledge? Or do we just move on, unthinkingly? And the irony is that those who support us silently, who give the wind beneath our wings without being asked, are the ones who need acknowledgement the most.   The strange thing about giving to someone you love is that you even give in the worst of times - and without any gratitude in return, and often it empties you, and you question yourself, but you carry on - you still find reservoirs from where you pour yourself out.   And then acknowledgement comes, often as a look, often as a touch, often as a lump in the throat - and in no time you are full again.   And how should we praise? How can something which is quietly done, often life-saving, invariably invaluable, be ever repaid? Nothing can match love's silent act in value, intent, or intensity.   So you can only be like the winter sun - warm without being cloying, present in spite of the cold, generous because that's what your nature should be.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of the gentlest of feelings - It Takes a Long Time to Arrive From Not Very Far Away Tea with Naomi Shihab Nye Tenderness Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Winter Night by Frank Schröter Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/6910-winter-night License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

"All the goddesses have upped and left, as they are wont to do. They fought a bit, showed a few dead bodies, got us to note the weaponry - the heads they'd severed,  the wild rides they could summon - then dived into inescapable imaginations, depths they could escape only in a year.   Beyond the sweltering of allegories and the heavy lifting of metaphors, in the dismal gloom of departure, will lay the memory of sweat  - for the celestial after-smell is more dour than Dior.    The goddesses herald hope, but with intimations of winter, with the message that battles could be won,      but not seasons, and in the inevitability of a divine victory lies the onus of legacy left in our care. Embedded in the lights which show the way in the dark dawn lies the start of the real war - the daily common life.   But as long as we know the goddesses as breath, there's both hope and despair - we will trudge home with self-injuries, but we will survive."   As autumn begins, and winter peeps into the world, the goddesses begin to come to earth. One after another - Durga, Laxmi, Saraswati. The warmth and energy of their stories prepares us to withstand the rigors of a figurative and metaphorical winter. But in the aplomb, noise and glitter, we often forget that their battles are metaphysical messages and their victories are vision statements.   They are celebrations but also reminders. And they are recurrent because man tends to remember the minutiae and forgets the essence.   The richness of allegories is our cultural repast, and a yearly reminder that time could pass, but any particular moment is always the right time for new beginnings.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of the divinity in various forms - Making Love in a Cathedral on a Stormy Day The Sublime in the Ordinary Fear in a Prayer's Home Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Sehnsucht by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/2922-sehnsucht License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

"I'd think the time for recrimination is long past it's witching hour. Your hand is still a stiff board when I reach out to it, and your body is still your own when I embrace it. You've been an icicle all through summer, but the time for bonfires is in - you have to let your long limbs find their way around me again."   The ebb and flow of love, the turning away and the turning towards its glow, the little angers, the tiny bursts of disappointments - love's hurts which linger as love-bites, it's fast-changing seasons which invariably segue into its winter glow - love should always land in soft places, however hard the terrain it transverses.   Because you can't give up on love. You have to be sensitive to its changing moods. And you have to fall in love again and again and again with the same person. Because you are also a changeable being, and possibly becoming unlovable.   But when you open yourselves up to the adventures of each other, of traversing through each other's changing landscapes, you realize that love doesn't want constancy, it seeks renewal, resurrection, reinvention. In one person lies the love of a multitude. You only need to recognize that. And work towards the greatest travel adventure of your life.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of the variegated colors of love - The Final Goodbye (or Why Lovers Decide to Die Together) These Darned Long Distance Relationships Why Don't You Make Love to Me Anymore? Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Reaching The Sky  [Long Version] by Alexander Nakarada Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/6222-reaching-the-sky--long-version License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Endings are ruthless. They make you forget every bit of acid existing in relationships in a moment. Regret pours in like the flood of a broken dam. But when the last line has been crossed, when the artery is cut to kill, the path reaches a crevasse - another step is a step into the valley of death.   Deep inside all lovers know when that point has been reached. But hope - that great harbinger of false dawns - persists. It attempts to give color to what is irrevocably grey. And makes the one who been walked out from, to wait, to think, of the strands of gold in the bushels of weed.   But nothing works.   Time slowly covers the one who waits in a thin coverlet of regret which, in time,  becomes a thick blanket of bitterness. There's no "I'm glad you were here" which remains. It's only "Why did you even come into my life."   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of hope and regret - A City Made of Our Sighs Departures Love (After The Stories Are Told) Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - New Beginning  by Rafael Krux Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/5692-new-beginning- License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

"Somewhere in the air, something whizzed past.  I looked up to see Daar ji's kurta turn into  a gorgeous crimson flower, with a small black pinpoint center."   This poem is about what happens when a young child goes to Jallianwala Bagh with his grandfather on that fateful day in 1919.   The Jallianwala Bagh massacre took place on 13 April 1919. A large but peaceful crowd had gathered at the Jallianwala Bagh in Amritsar, Punjab to celebrate the important Hindu and Sikh festival of Baisakhi, and peacefully protest the arrest of two national leaders, Satyapal and Saifuddin Kitchlew.   In response to the public gathering, the British Brigadier-General R. E. H. Dyer surrounded the Bagh with his soldiers. The Jallianwala Bagh could only be exited on one side, as its other three sides were enclosed by buildings. After blocking the exit with his troops, he ordered them to shoot at the crowd, continuing to fire even as protestors tried to flee. The troops kept on firing until their ammunition was exhausted Estimates of those killed run into 1000s with over 1,200 other people injured.   Apart from the many deaths directly from the shooting, a number of people died of crushing in the stampedes at the narrow gates or by jumping into the solitary well on the compound to escape the shooting.  120 bodies were removed from the well. The wounded could not be moved from where they had fallen, as a curfew was declared, and more who had been injured then died during the night.   The level of casual brutality, and lack of any accountability, stunned the entire nation. The ineffective inquiry, together with the initial accolades for Dyer, fuelled great widespread anger against the British among the Indian populace, leading to the non-cooperation movement of 1920–22.  Some historians consider the episode a decisive step towards the end of British rule in India.   Britain never formally apologized for the massacre but expressed "regret" in 2019.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of tragedies we all face in our lives -  The Final Goodbye (or Why Lovers Decide to Die Together) Chemo: As I Battle Myself Love's Night of the Long Knives Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - On Fire by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/5147-on-fire License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license  

"Keep looking at me as we die, let your look be in my final sigh, we've been compatriots of beginnings  of which we thought there was no end - maybe, we'll be every love's destiny, a passing on, when there's no real reason why, except tiredness, tiredness, tiredness."   Procreation is atavistic. But what about death wish? Not that point where a soul tethers at the edge of depression, but the one where you want to end things because there's nothing left beyond except pain, when life becomes a litany of diminishing returns. When looking back is the only pleasure left. And the future can't possibly hold anything more to revel in.   Life comes time-stamped for its beginning.  But why not for it's end too?  That point when wishes are empty of their mojo. When bodies rediscover their frailty, and are forever at the brink of breaking, inside or outside. When you look at the one you love the most, and she looks back, and the same despair rises inside both of you at the same time - the preordained fact of one of you being left alone.   Should ethics, should law, allow lovers to die together, when they want to? To find their peace just the way they find their love? Why should there be pain when there's nothing left to learn from it? When karma has nothing left to show or showcase? When the only questions left are of beauty created in togetherness, and the sheer meaningless of being left alone.   There should always be a time to do the right thing.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of death and the spirituality inherent in it - An Epitaph Made of Light & Air Chemo: As I Battle Myself A Tragedy With Two Faces Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Fly by Luca Fraula Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/8313-fly License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

"Peacocks are raucous and find roofs with easy comfort - there is still place in this concrete jungle, even if some hearts go for a walk in search of a soul.   Do we find comfort in the quiet disregard of the unfamiliar?"   Our search for the soul of a city is ever so twisted, as it should be. A city needs to be lived in. On its streets, one needs to be mauled with aromas, with its obsessions, with its politics, with its unkindness, with its unseeing generosities, what keeps it awake at night, and what its mornings bring forth.   A visitor passing by will only see it's freshly painted hoardings, not it's tiredness. It's facades and it's colors might give it the sheen it wants to project, but you often have to only turn a corner to see it's permanent shadows.   So then, it's a good idea to spend time in a pavement tea stall or a café in the middle of its bustling heart, and immerse oneself in its cadences and concerns, it's voices and noises, what passes by, who stays, what sticks and what's evanescent, the words which are spoken and laughed away and the sentences which linger, coalesce and fall as hard as stones and refuse to be swept away.   The soul is there for you to see.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of cities, and the love for them - Indian Summers Calcutta - A Lover's Epitaph A City Made of Our Sighs Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Adventure by Alexander Nakarada Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/6092-adventure License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

"Come to my house one afternoon, my bed's unmade for all lovers of mine, we will find ourselves at our wildest & truest  when we reach the third bottle of wine.   You can kiss me roughly, and push me down, and I will tell you once more - though you know thirty per cent of what I am, tonight you can be hundred per cent my man."   I've always wondered what happens when two lonely souls meet. Are they able to recognize each other through their masks - of verbosity or sullenness?  Is there repulsion of seeing someone who also suffers? Or is loneliness a magnet?   What ensues? Deep sharing? A slow fanning of embers, to seek life in what is moribund? Love- as something you can't help feeling? Or Lovemaking as an empty surrogate, which makes you lonelier after the act is done and done with?   Loneliness is difficult to confess; difficult too to categorize. It can run deep in the being of a person, as much a part of one’s self as talking easily or having skin which glows.   As Olivia Laing says in her haunting book "The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone" -   "Loneliness is personal, and it is also political. Loneliness is collective; it is a city. As to how to inhabit it, there are no rules and nor is there any need to feel shame, only to remember that the pursuit of individual happiness does not trump or excuse our obligations to each another. We are in this together, this accumulation of scars, this world of objects, this physical and temporary heaven that so often takes on the countenance of hell. What matters is kindness; what matters is solidarity. What matters is staying alert, staying open, because if we know anything from what has gone before us, it is that the time for feeling will not last."   Are you lonely? Write in. We'll share a poem or two. Maybe a smile.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of loneliness and yearning -  These Darned Long Distance Relationships Hope is Merely Fear With a Poor Choice of Lipstick Love is an Unreasonable Yearner Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Misty Lights  by Rafael Krux Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/5686-misty-lights- License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

  "I am tired of finding you  in places  watermarked with  our senses."   The moment of change is a poem. The tranquil chaos of pain is a poem. The end of love is itself a poem. It's just that a poet can put it all into words.   For a heartbroken lover, the city becomes a map of things found and lost at the same time. The heart becomes an almanac of bruises and scars. Everything precious seems to be lost, but there is still something which is held on tight.    And nothing, nothing remains the same, even as life continues just the way it is.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of yearning of and in cities -  Indian Summers Calcutta - A Lover's Epitaph A City Made of Our Sighs Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - End Of Summer by Frank Schröter Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/6633-end-of-summer License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

"I inhale the fragrance of lavender from a candle lit at 559, I know you'd call at 6, and I want to feel as if you're here."   By itself, love is a beating heart. Never ceases, never stops. It's just we, who fill it with our own insecurities, our fragility, our loneliness.   We doubt ourselves hence we doubt the other, and view love as a paradigm of insecurity when all it is a temple which awaits return.   They say love requires oxygen, reaffirmation, rejuvenation. When the truth is that all it requires is faith. In the ebb and flow of our moods and the seasons, we mistake the passing feeling as a change of heart, and we take decisions of incompatibility and parting with such vigour, that heartbreak then  truly ensues. And where a simple conversation and a recall of old pledges is called for, it's tragedy which befalls.   So many lives are left to waste because they hear and believe the songs of a passing troubadour.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of difficult love - I Love You Love (After the Stories Are Told) On Breaking Up (Without Breaking) Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Farm [full version] by Alexander Nakarada Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/8206-farm-full-version License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

"There's so much I can give you yet, for I'm a poem you left three-fourths of the way, I promise I still have a syntax in bed, which might surprise the metaphor in you."   What's love if there is no mischief in it? What's love of it doesn't become lazy sometimes and has to be given a jolt!   In the infinite comfort of being the cynosure of one true love, also lies the seeds of it being taken for granted. As our soul preens in its attention, it also stretches like happy cat, and settles into the comfortable nook of warm laziness.   And things slip. Dates are forgotten, attention wavers, things are forgotten to be told. Every morning you reach for the phone as soon as you awaken, rather than that warm body sleeping beside you. And you stop making love.   And in that one silly aberration, slips away the connect which enjoins two people into something more infinite, where 'carnal' is spelt as 'constant'  and 'lusting' as 'lasting'.   All it requires is a nudge, often a metaphysical elbow in the ribs, and sometimes a literal kick in the pants, to bring each other back to the primal feeling - that strange world which only love provides - when the world gives you everything you've ever wanted, but there's just not enough of it.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of reclamation and right - Perils of Breakup Sex (or Why I Can't Keep My Legs Closed for You? Bringing the Storm Home Making Love in a Cathedral on a Rainy day Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Warm Sunset by MusicLFiles Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/8070-warm-sunset License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Excerpt from "It Takes a Long Time to Arrive From Not Very Far Away"*   "Why do we do anything for the people we love, you asked, isn't everything a poem we write for the other, every day, day in day out? Then why is love demanded as diligence, when you can have it as grace?"   Hear the full poem in the latest episode of Uncut Poetry Podcast   We take so much for granted. The air we breathe, the flowers we touch, the curve of the path we walk on every morning, the very person sleeping beside us, who we profess to love more than anything in this world.   Inherent in this are our years of upbringing, our lack of sensitivity to look at things differently, the daiquiri   of convenience and disregard. And as our outlook gets fossilized, we steadily slip into the dogma of defense. We stand on the pulpit of so-called tradition and preach, we refuse to pay cognizance to the subtlety of changing outlooks, and how everything old wasn't holy.   But change is inevitable - and insidious. It will come, it will happen. We can resist and have the spine of our tenet cracked, or change and let the fullness of a new creed flood us with its dazzling  effulgence.   (* this is a line from 'Plainwater' by Anne Carson)   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of reclamation and right - The Power of No Stories Which Survive Rediscovering the Flawed Beauty of Love Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Oceans Of Tranquility by MusicLFiles Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/6869-oceans-of-tranquility License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

"I am exhausted with mornings with their false pretenses and promises, and wonder what it would take to stop it from decorating itself with silver and gold and light and lies, and merely let us be the honest suicide candidates, who see every bright start to a day and know the hypocrisy ready to unravel as a brilliant bright day."   Every morning we wake up with an array of feelings racing inside us, conflicting emotions, from fury to peace, from exhaustion to exuberance. And depending on what we focus on, our day takes on that trajectory - which merely means our life finds a direction in our daily choice.   We can start being a Jackson Pollock painting, splattered with every color and hue, but something inside us picks one color and runs with it. Do we celebrate life - or hunt it down to shoot it point-blank, is merely that perchance choice, of a perchance emotion. We are left to regret at leisure.   But what of those whose choice everyday is the same dismal refraction of life, when the shining truth of possibilities is always seen as chimera, and life seems to be a dark rabbit hole teeming with despair and cul de sacs.   Depression ensues, suicidal tendencies set in. All the love and support of the world needs to be called in. Because, then, lives are at stake.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of despair - Heartbreak Chemo: As I Battle Myself How to Hold Love as it Breaks Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Parting of the Ways - Part 2 by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4196-parting-of-the-ways---part-2 License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Ryan Tomlin, based out of Leeds in UK,  became an author at the age of 17. He loved the experience so much he decided that being a successful and best selling author was his ultimate goal. He sent his book to publishers all over. Alas, the only one who agreed to publish asked for 2500 pounds in payment.   After that he wrote four more books- all of them rejected by publishers. Till, on his 20th birthday he started writing what later became his 5th book - The Transition.   He decided to self publish it on Amazon Kindle. But the way he sold the book was on the streets, with flyers and whiteboards, whilst talking to people and promoting the book.   It became a self-published best seller.   And then he hit upon the idea of an open air street Poetry Store. And he started selling his poems for 20 pence each. He didn't earn millions but enough for it to become his regular job.   And then he wanted to do something bigger - and so he started poetry busking, performing his poetry on the streets of Leeds.   And lo and behold, he's since performed at Farsley Festival, Yorkshire Day and in An Evening of Authors. He has been featured on the EPOCH documentary series PEOPLE, as well as Made In Leeds TV, BBC Yorkshire, and BBC Two's Politics Live.   This week we've asked Ryan Tomlin to completely take over the floor.   You can get more of Ryan's poems on his website or his Instagram account. His best-selling book The Transition can be bought at Amazon.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Melodic Interlude Two by Alexander Nakarada Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/6394-melodic-interlude-two License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license   1000 Lichter by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/3161-1000-lichter License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license   Flucht (Romeos Erbe) by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/3146-flucht-romeos-erbe- License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license   Imagefilm 044 by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/3241-imagefilm-044 License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

"I was a survivor of religious texts which left morsels at my doorstep as they made their way to their lofty definitions."   Big revolutions often have beginnings in nooks and crannies - a kitchen or a closet, a garage or a heart. To confront the world, a general could be less than five feet high, to have a voice which resonates through the world, one could be a tiny teenager speaking in the softest of falsettos.   The power of what we want comes from intent, the wind beneath the wings comes from courage, and the impetus comes when we learn to say "No, no more."   Many stories have ended there, being ruthlessly silenced. But even a single voice let go into the universe doesn't go waste. Another voice is raised, conjoined with another, and then another - till a crescendo emerges - and a cry goes out. And nothing nothing remains the same.   The world then is on the cusp of change. The world IS changed.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of hope adn resistance -  Fear in a Prayer's Home Chemo: As I Battle Myself In Which He Cries And She Clears the Skies Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Simone Zunterer (Main Theme) by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/554-simone-zunterer-main-theme- License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

"Love is such an unreasonable yearner - full-hearted but empty-handed: it can give a treasure out of nothing, but can never ask to be gifted one."   We are all, at various times, givers or takers. Giving is easy when we care, though not when we don't. But when conjoined with commitment, we can continue giving, through our anger, disillusionment or grief.   But asking, in the best of times, can be an effort.   In that brief interlude between desire and expectation, we have to put ourselves out, turn humbly, and ask for what we want. But ever so often, we can't.   Is it ego? Is it expectation that we should be given, without being asked? Is it fear of being refused? Whatever the reason, that hesitation, that decision to keep quiet, to withdraw, to not ask, is the point from where distances start getting to be mapped. And the shifting of feelings is akin to the continental shift of geological plates. Slow but irrevocable.   And in love, particularly, what commences to be suppressed, is the natural flow of lava, whose advent, if curbed, ends up burning the lover up.   Yearning is an all-consuming fire, no less.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of yearning -  The Girl Who Could Lose Everything For Hope That Gorgeous Evening when You Left Departures Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows -   Du und ich (instrumental) by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/2966-du-und-ich-instrumental- License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Passion as lust is so underrated.   It is bequeathed to youth, dismissed as elemental, in passing, as age progresses it is assumed dead on arrival. It's somehow taken as recreational, it is taken as something which is done - and done with. It is taken as an aberration if it floods you, you are a mendicant if you can control it, a vamp if you let it possess you, an offender if it affects every part of your life.   So much of passion is denigrated, even as we fall in lust before falling in love, even as we give in to it's call and it embellishes our commitment to the other, in untamed and undisguised ways. Love would be lesser for it. It's unpredictability is its source of raw charm.   And when we let it lead us into its dark caverns, we find life's curtains drawn out to the end, and the sun streaming in, playing with the sheets where you lie, playfully asking - now once more, with the sun on us?   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems tenderly talking of the pleasures of love and love-making: Making Love in a Cathedral on a Stormy Day Fallen Flowers  Perils of Breakup Sex (or Why I Can't Keep My Legs Closed for You) Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows -   Inspiring Teaser  by Rafael Krux Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/5672-inspiring-teaser- License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license   Rise Of The Heroes by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/513-rise-of-the-heroes License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license  

Welcome to the Salon edition of Uncut Poetry.   In the Salon edition, we will feature interviews of cutting-edge poets, readings of my favorite poetry, reviews of poetry books which I have fallen in love with, and pretty much everything related to poetry. Every month, once a week!   In the inaugural episode, we feature the African-American poet Katerina Canyon.   Katerina Canyon is an Award Winning Poet, Best Selling Author, Civil Rights Activist, and Essayist. She grew up in Los Angeles and much of her writing reflects that experience.   Her first book of poetry, Changing the Lines, was released in August 2017. This book is a conversation between mother and daughter as they examine what it means to operate within the world as black women.   Katerina Canyon is a 2020 and 2019 Pushcart Prize Nominee. Her stories have been published in The New York Times, The Huffington Post, and Folks. Her poetry has been published in CatheXis Northwest, The Esthetic Apostle, Into the Void, Black Napkin, and Waxing & Waning.  From 2000 to 2003, she served as the Poet Laureate of Sunland-Tujunga. During that time, she started a poetry festival and ran several poetry readings.  She currently lives in Seattle.   She was featured in the Los Angeles Times and was awarded the Montesi Award from Saint Louis University in 2011, 2012, and 2013. She has published multiple chapbooks and an album.    Katerina Canyon will be releasing her new poetry book Surviving Home in December 2021.   Surviving Home is a reflection on African American heritage and up-bringing, racism, and abuse. It is a tender and heartbreaking exploration of growing up, observing, living through hell and coming out stronger.   To learn more or to read an excerpt from the book, go to https://bookpublicityservices.com/surviving-home-katerina-canyon/   Readers can connect with Katerina on Instagram, Twitter, Goodreads, and Facebook. To learn more, go to https://www.poetickat.com/     Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Epic Emotional Positive by MusicLFiles Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/7510-epic-emotional-positive License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license   Zum Kampf Bereit (Romeos Erbe) by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4659-zum-kampf-bereit-romeos-erbe- License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license   Abschied (Romeos Erbe) by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/3148-abschied-romeos-erbe- License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license   Begegnung (Romeos Erbe) by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/2971-begegnung-romeos-erbe- License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license  

"You will seek other beds and alien alleys, and make yourself lonelier with every journey, as you dream of me in the false dawn of other arms, not knowing me as someone with a lonely soul."   Every relationship is a journey. Where it starts is in a fuzzy past, but equally amorphous is how it ends. Because endings are never surgical cuts, but a bunch of tassels, each thread a possible way out - or way in. And that's what reality is.   Because people change. How we feel changes. What we feel changes.  And just like a poem never ends but finds eternity in the heart of its reader, love changes form and finds a cosy nook to reside. It moves to find meaning in life - which might have everything to do with love, but nothing to do with a love affair.   And that's how life takes us in its palm - often with someone, often without. But there's always the walking, the movement, the bliss, the ecstasy, and the pain, the anguish, the residue, the remembrance....   It's the cross life bears -  and is it's saddest but most sublime benediction.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems tenderly talking of heartbreak: Call Me By Your Name  How to Hold Love as it Breaks  Broken Ribs as a Barometer of Love In Which He Cries And She Clears The Skies Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Romantic Contemplative Nature by MusicLFiles Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/8033-romantic-contemplative-nature License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Naomi Shihab Nye is a Palestinian American poet. Her poetry shimmers with the anguish of a whole battered nation. But it is also full of gratitude, as she notices the smallest of things and urges the reader to find grace in them.   For the last two months, every morning I read a poem by her. A single poem. It will probably take me years to finish all her books. But I don't care. Because this daily ritual cleanses me, readies me to face the world, with equanimity and thankfulness.   I feel, now she belongs to me.   She says - "Let me peer out at the world through your lens. (Maybe I'll shudder, or gasp, or tilt my head in a question.) Let me see how your blue is my turquoise and my orange is your gold. Suddenly binary stars, we have startling gravity. Let's compare scintillation - let's share starlight."   She's a bridge, Naomi is. Her words are flowers and never rocks. And her world always urges us to be kind.   Because with kindness, comes understanding, comes the stardust to change us, however small the corner of the world we might be staying in.   "Only kindness, that raises its head from the crowd of the world to say it is I you have been looking for - and then goes with you everywhere like a shadow or a friend."   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems celebrating grace: Extraordinary Life Kintsugi Tenderness Of the Moon (and Other Things Which Don't Know They are Beautiful) Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Mystery Of Dandela by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/2979-mystery-of-dandela License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license   Sehnsucht by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/2922-sehnsucht License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

My mother, like so many other mothers, is a treasure house of tales. But with a twist - she is the hero of all her stories. More than the classical tales of Mahabharata and Ramayana, more than the O Henry's and Guy de Maupassant's I devoured whilst growing up, her tales were the ones which had the deepest influence. How her resilience won over indignities piled on her in a traditional Indian family, how she turned the tables in favor of a charity she was working with when a government official poured caste slurs on her, how her relentless kindness won over a trouble-loving neighbor.   A lot of what I am, I realize,  is because of those tales.   But here's what started happening as I grew.   I thought the tales were narcissistic, as they only talked about the glory of her. For a time, I started to just walk away when she commenced her stories.   Till one day, I was telling my son about something I'd done which had won me accolades in office, and in a flash of epiphany I realized what my mum had been doing for years.   Our stories of victory or loss, of kindness and redemption, of things which went well, and which didn't, are our character sketches - where we could be either perfect villains or flawed heroes, but where  we realize how our learnings are a talisman, and our stories of wounds our one true memorable legacy.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems celebrating our mothers: My Mother's Lines Kintsugi Kripa (a blessing from a daughter) How Mothers are Nature's Return Gifts Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Sunset Fields by Alexander Nakarada Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/7979-sunset-fields License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Even if we don't notice it, our senses never forget the value of the insignificant. Of the sun falling on our feet, of that one teardrop falling on our hand, of that longing which fills our world, of that single remembrance which is enough to destroy everything, before it attempts to build something again.   But ever so often, our senses bring these moments into our beings slowly, gently, sadly, when everything around us is collapsing -  and we realize that we don't miss the big celebrations or the grand entrances or the splendid sights. What we really crave for are the most ephemeral and trifling of things. Moments reduced to quietness, walks slowed into inner explorations, a touch made to linger, sleep becoming a travel done together.   Finding life's significance might be your adventure; but life's meaning is sleeping in the crook of your arm with a serene smile.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems celebrating life: Of the Moon (and Other Things Which Don't Know They Are Beautiful) Meditations On an Evening The Sublime in the Ordinary Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry.    I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - You and Me Forever by MusicLFiles Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/7937-you-and-me-forever License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

"I fell in love with you                          again in the soft foothills of this evening."   The ebb and flow of feelings is the subcutaneous world of love. We are an amalgam of expectations, ego and confusion - and love for us is as much about the blood which begins to flow rapidly inside our bodies, as it is about the blood which we give to our relationships.   However much we may wax about the selflessness of love, the heart craves for balance. Whilst the first flush of love is about giving, the second flush wants to fill empty spaces inside oneself.  And that's when we need recalibration. That's when we need to realize that life or love cannot be a continuous test or a balancing act.   Tenderness defines love, not touchiness.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems celebrating the grace of love: Lovers in The Morning How to Hold Love as it Breaks I Love You Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - When The Wind Blows by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4622-when-the-wind-blows License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Where do the boundaries of love begin - and end? Who is the arbiter of what's right - and what's wrong? For too long, rules have followed the drumbeats of arbitrary prejudices and preferences, bereft of personal choices.   It's a tragedy that after centuries of literature, art and norm, there is still stigma,  there is still disapproval, there is still the need for secrecy.   As couples gravitate towards their desires and destinies, building defences, building walls, it is incumbent for the world at large to embrace them into normalcy, so they know they are part of the same loving community they have come from, and are not outliers.   As Jake Gyllenhaal said about the protagonists in the film Brokeback Mountain - That what ties these two characters together is not just a love, but a loneliness. I think primarily it was deep loneliness - it is about two people desperately looking for love. To be loved. And who were probably capable of it. And they just found it with someone of the same sex.  Hopefully it can create an equality of an idea: that it's possible that you can find love anywhere. That intimacy exists in so many places that convention and society won't always allow us to see. And we won't allow ourselves to see, because of what criticism — and danger — it might provoke.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems celebrating the Pride Month: Not Making Love, Only Being in Love I Surrender to That Feeling Again Call Me By Your Name Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Die Unendliche Geschichte by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/512-die-unendliche-geschichte License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

"And as I lay on the bed, restless, empty, the moon poured her shimmering beauty, with the largesse of the caring.                         I knew it was fragile,                         I knew it was ephemeral,                         I knew it was ethereal,                         I knew it wasn't mine to claim, but I lay full        fulfilled."   One of the things which people often tend to minimize, or just don't realize, is the value of presence. An ageing father might not want a long conversation with his son - he might just want to see him, touch him, smile at him, and then leave.   The aura which we bring into a room already speaks of the essence of what we are and what we mean to others.   As we search for our meaning in this world, we cannot ever forget that we are also a part of what it means to be alive, to others. However little our desire to be present, grace, generosity and life, all demand that we intertwine our lives with those for whom we matter.   Because giving of ourselves is the most unselfish gift we can possibly think of.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems celebrating the joy of giving: Kintsugi Chemo: As I Battle Myself Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - A Sad Toy Story by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/563-a-sad-toy-story License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

"When we knelt in front of Mother Mary, we did not ask for forgiveness - her consent was obvious, and what we did  on the benches was a consensual sacrilege, which she seemed to let the mists hide."   Lovers search for a place - and the occasion presents itself.   In this poem, the fact that the couple make love in an empty cathedral, is a symbol of how love makes lovemaking transcend it's physicality to something meaningful. And when you do something which completes you, you are nearing a spiritual state of being.   Too often, pleasure is denigrated as base, a basic instinct, but at its core it is a completion. The tassels in a rug, a painting on an empty wall, one small boat in a restless sea.   Too often, only too often, do we say no to life, when what it offers is opportunity and what you deny is fulfilment.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems celebrating the indefinable magic of lovemaking: Fallen Flowers Perils of Breakup Sex Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.   I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Epic Intro 2017 by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/558-epic-intro-2017 License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

The words "returning home" carry within them a full universe of meaning and feeling.   And when evening falls, and the skies are in ruins, and, something inside us too - just the act of turning back and returning into a place which asks no questions, and folds us into its depthless warmth, is an act of saving ourselves.   Who are we if not the unmoored boats let loose every day into the wild ocean of the world? Untethered and unfulfilled, we lose ourselves every day, and hence have to bring ourselves back every night.   Home then is shelter, home then is a repair shop, home then is the place where we are loved however bedraggled with life we might be.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems celebrating the indefinable magic of Evenings: That Gorgeous Evening When You Left Departures   I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Get the podcast, a lovely free book of poems and other resources here . Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - 1000 Lichter by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/3161-1000-lichter License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Strangely, I always think of winter as a presence and summer as an interlude.   Summer is always a passage, to go from state to another, from one feeling to another, to make mistakes, suffer for them, and never regret them.   So much of our lives is a litany of inevitabilities, and truthfully and figuratively, summers are when we let our souls seek truths, and however much the anguish, we look back at that time and have no regrets.   Also - In my last episode I had asked you what are the ordinary things you miss most in these trying times. So many of you wrote in. And with such tenderness and nostalgia. Hear what you had to say in this episode!   I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Get the podcast, a lovely free book of poems and other resources here . Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other Summer Poems: Indian Summers One Summer   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - On Fire by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/5147-on-fire License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Seeking normalcy in these incredibly abnormal times has become a task by itself. We hear the news with dread. We fear the very air we breathe in, we fear phone calls which come too early or too late. We fear those who come back home from outside.   The yearning for normalcy is a yearning for the small pleasures of life, the ones we took for granted, didn't pay overt attention to, and now miss the most.   I miss meeting my friends the most, seeing laughter in their eyes, sensing the indefinable crinkle in their voices, their embrace as we say goodbye. And I miss visiting places. And I miss eating out.   Is the vaccine then the doorway for us to reclaim the life we always took for granted?   What do you miss most of the ordinary times? Tell me, write into me at [email protected]. In the next episode, I will share it with the world.   I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Get the podcast, a lovely free book of poems and other resources here . Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   If you liked this poem, consider listening to the following poems too -   I Carry Love in the Hearse of My Arms I Think I Am In Love With You   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Hades by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/6903-hades License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

These are trying times. Tishani Doshi writes "You would have expected the clocks to freeze". In this once-in-a-century tragedy, when grief sits outside our doors, and then comes in without knocking, there's only memory, meditation or living in the moment which can sustain meaning.   We all make mistakes. Alas, some mistakes are more expensive than others and get counted in human lives. Beyond the mistake, lies redemption and the cure.  But true healing begins when we go beyond the blame, and realize we are also a part of the problem - and have to be a part of the solution.   Reaching out is a way to reach the goodness inside us. And kindness, beyond ourselves, is the only poetry which can save others -and save us.   Be there for friends who need you. Donate to organizations like Give India on giveindia.org. Be positive. Be active. Be available.   I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Get the podcast, a lovely free book of poems and other resources here . Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Artemis by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/6934-artemis License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license  

One of the most revelatory things about any relationship, is how we discover a person, and in the process we reveal to ourselves things we didn't know about ourselves. The limitlessness of our generosity, the craziness of our imagination, the things we are capable of doing.   We can be the balming breeze, we can be starlight, we can be the softest evening, we can be the sheltering sky. We marvel at ourselves, we are amazed at the things we can be.   And we discover the most significant thing of true love - it's makes us fall in love with ourselves too.   I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Get the podcast, a lovely free book of poems and other resources here . Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Lockdown by Sascha Ende® Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/7658-lockdown License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

"And we sat in front of an / auburn sky / and talked of found-homes / and lost-loves. / We smiled at our follies & foolishness, /  & with a tinge of regret (o yes) wondered / at where life had taken us."/   Is there any ending to any story, ever?   Even if something ends, there is residue floating in the universe - or in the universe inside us. Because every experience, every relationship, every happenstance leaves either dust or ash, for our lives to deal with. It could clog every artery of our memory or mix in magical ways with our blood to render us changed.   Either way we are rendered different, beyond imagination, beyond redemption....   I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Get the podcast, a lovely free book of poems and other resources here . Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]

"I touched a pulsing vein on her hand,  & thought of the blood she shared with me: her legacy of pain & meaning, an inevitable gift to me."   Our relationship with our parents is invariably fraught with tension and tenderness. We fight, we stop talking, and then, magnetically, without thinking, we gravitate towards each other as if nothing had happened.   One of the comforts of this love is that we can take it for granted - until we realize we can't.   Things pass - so will they. And we will discover what being left alone truly means. We need to be with them, we need to be the best to them, hopefully be the best  of them.   I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Get the podcast, a lovely free book of poems and other resources here . Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]  

"It's a lovely morning, she said, / as she drew out the curtains, / has the whiskey found a way out / or are you still in zombie zone? /   It's been a while since we saw the sun rise, / it's been a while since we lingered. / Get up, my lazy disheveled love, / let's find something in this new world." /   One of the most reassuring aspects of being in love is its ability to bounce back, to always find reasons to let go and to move on. Persistence is as much love's suspension bar - what props it up - as is the ability to forget and move on.    Love could curdle and fall down. But before that, it has to boil, it has to rise, and if caught at the cusp, it will subside and be ready to give of its best.   I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Get the podcast, a lovely free book of poems and other resources here . Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]

"She looked at the broken pieces / of the precious teapot, / a legacy from her ancestors, / from ten generations back. /   And she looked at her trembling child, / standing contrite, with her head down, / waiting for an inevitability, / already on the brink of tears." /   This poem starts with the idea of kintsugi which is the Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold.  It is built on the idea that in embracing flaws and imperfections, we can create an even stronger, more beautiful piece of art. And for most of its length, the poem lingers on how perfection does not have monopoly rights towards beauty.   But can everything broken be repaired?   There lies the conundrum - it all depends on you. A fallen autumn leaf WILL crumble, but a seed which falls down can - and will - bring forth something sparklingly good.   Beyond the fact of an imperfection, is the truth of what we do with that imperfection. We could build with it, around it, on it. Or we could simply sink into it - and dissolve.   The choice, like so many things in life, is ours.   I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Get the podcast, a lovely free book of poems and other resources here . Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]  

So much of growing up is already burnt ground.   Parents are didactic and seem more of a necessary evil, the body is unruly and doesn't listen, boys don't know what to do with their large hands, and whether they should keep or cut their soft moustaches, girls are embarrassed by the uncontrollable changes in their body, and then there are boyfriend problems and the fact that someone has an active sex life and you have none.   Growing up then seems less a hope-filled vision and more of a car pile. Nothing ever seems to go right.   In this scenario, to have one's head set steady and to figure out what is right, in all the wrong one keeps blundering into,  is what sets the template for the rest of one's life.   I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon. Get the podcast, a lovely free book of poems and other resources here . Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]

Some of the most enduring love stories are often the shortest. You meet. You part. There are a million reasons why. But what these relationships leave behind are often impressions  which are burnt into our beings. The awkward habit, the shameless bravado, the ribald sense  of utter corniness - the unflinching freedom she accorded you just by her presence. As times go by, and we accumulate relationships like trophies or seek people as refuges, these transient lovers are the ones who, in spite of their absence, have already given life its meaning, who make sure that whatever else might happen, or not happen, in life hereinafter, there's worth they've given which will never get lost. I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book 'Of journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost' is just out. Both are available as Kindle on Amazon. Get the podcast, a lovely free book of poems and other resources here . Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]

"Here we are, individuals, / codified with an oath, / learning to be together and to / break free, at the same time, / but, generally, permanently / pissed-off." Love comes in so many different forms. So many shapes and sizes. Symptoms of love are subtle, varied. They are often, in look and feel, just the opposite of what they actually mean. That's why love demands time, space, observance.   It is often couched in hugs and kisses, and often in anger and aloofness. Sometimes it is unrecognizable, because it looks like clinginess, jealousy, even encroachment. You demand - I want space, leave me alone. When all that love is really asking  for is comfort, clarity, coffee together.   I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book 'Of journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost' is just out. Both are available as Kindle on Amazon. Get the podcast, a lovely free book of poems and other resources here . Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]

It's startling to think how much of our life hangs on the incredibly thin thread of our breath. When illness strikes us, and there are battles to be fought, every bit of our resources - in our body, spirit, soul - fights and loses, fights and loses again. Often, a treatment like chemotherapy is itself a battle. As our skin gets parched, our hair starts to fall, as we bruise and bleed and vomit, it is easy to give up.   Till we look into the eyes of someone we love, and we see the despair there, we realize that our lives are never only ours. Every breath is a benediction and our lives are also a gift to those who love us.   I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book 'Of journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost' is just out. Both are available as Kindle on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]

I don't think poetry will save us. And yet, and yet... *   * Quote from Sarah Kay's letter in Airplane Poetry Movement's "A Letter A Poem A Home"   Why poetry? Publishers don't like it, people don't buy it, poets earn virtually nothing out if it. I can't day it better than what the amazing redoubtable poet Arundhathi Subramaniam said about "Why poetry?"   "Because it is the art of the murmured voice. If it raises its pitch, it distorts its own reality, compromises its own integrity. It is a reminder of the magic of the whisper, the sorcery of the hushed voice.   Because it disrupts all those snug oppositions I otherwise live by: day and night, precision and passion, mystery and illumination, work and play, truth and beauty. Poetry is about allowing lunar concerns into my day. About bringing question marks rather than full stops into my life.   Because it reminds me that ideas are crunchy and things smoky. That there are passions of the mind and ideologies of the gut.   Because of its suddenness, its distillation, its toxic shock clarity, its verbal single maltness.   Because words don’t come easy. And when they do, they’re meant to be watched — not censoriously, with faith but also with caution. That’s because we don’t just use language, we’re used by it. "   (Read Arundhathi Subramaniam's essay in full here.)   I am Sunil Bhandari.   I am a poet based in India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book 'Of journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost' is just out. Both are available as Kindle on Amazon. Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on [email protected]