Arts
Society & Culture
SOLA Systems // Louisa Shaeri
The Unmasking Unschool Podcast is for autistic visionaries, creatives and change-makers. Who are seeking to exit the burnout cycles, pathology paradigms, masks and self-negations of the past that keep you stuck, and want to realise the self-reinventions, life pivots and culture-shifting projects to become your boldest most authentic self. Hosted by Louisa Shaeri, artist, coach, cultural activator, founder of SOLA Systems. Learn more at http://solasystems.xyz Episode transcripts: https://www.solasystems.xyz/podcast
Total 56 episodes
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29/10/2024

S2 Ep18: Neuroqueering Love, with Laurie Green

This week on the Unmasking Unschool Podcast, I invited previous podcast guest Laurie Green back onto the podcast, this time to talk about the culmination of what was once a vague dream, now realised as a tangible reality in the form of a BOOK. The BOOK: Deliquescent Beings: A Neuroqueering Book of Love https://www.neuroqueering.network/product/deliquescentbeings/ Neuroqueering Love: A Gathering: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/neuroqueering-love-a-gathering-tickets-1042904935737 Laurie's instagram: https://www.instagram.com/neuroqueeringhumans/ Artists in the book: Axe Raulet Georgia Holman Ila Jess Murrain Laurie Green Lua Bairstow Rebecca Jagoe Rrangwane Sam Metz Sef V Westerman Artists for the gathering on 1st November: সঙ্ঘমিত্রা sanghamitra @the.poison.faeline Saint-Saëns @saintsaenssaid Hannah Mae Buckingham @natureb.y Georgia Holman @georgiaholman Oscar Vinter @oscarvinter Florin Garzotto @florin_garzotto Rrangwane @semausu.sa.pulayakgojana Quieting @quieting_sounds ___________ TRANSCRIPT ___________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast is for autistic visionaries, creatives and change-makers. Who are seeking to exit the burnout cycles, pathology paradigms, masks and self-negations of the past that keep you stuck, and want to realise the self-reinventions, life pivots and culture-shifting projects to become your boldest most authentic self. Hosted by Louisa Shaeri, artist, coach, cultural activator, founder of SOLA Systems. Learn more at solasystems.xyz Subscribe to the mailing list HERE
41m
13/10/2024

S2 Ep16: Deciding to be BIGGER

Unmasking Unschool is open for enrolment! ENROL HERE: https://www.solasystems.xyz/unun This is the online group coaching, support system, and social context for #autistic/audhd visionaries, creatives, change-makers who are not here to fit in, to enact the life pivots, self re-inventions involved in becoming your boldest self, and realising your most impactful work in the world. ___________ TRANSCRIPT Episode Notes Self belief that you can create a new thing in the world, or in your life that you can be in new ways starts low and builds as you create evidence that your body brain nervous systems understand as a REALITY that can be trusted and BELIEVED. Until that point, you best source of belief is your own ACTIONS and being able to keep moving forward during the ‘lag time’ between the doing and REALITY around you catching up. But there is another source of potent belief: DECISIONS. not just any decisions but the ones which ask you to EXPAND to be BIGGER that your problem to decide that you are up for the HARD and willing to ride the waves to make it REAL. This episode is about those kinds of decisions. I speak to how my own recent decision to ‘handle it’ to move through difficulty without compromising on my dreams to SHOW UP for what I want and the impact of that on my self belief. ___________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast is for autistic visionaries, creatives and change-makers. Who are seeking to exit the burnout cycles, pathology paradigms, masks and self-negations of the past that keep you stuck, and want to realise the self-reinventions, life pivots and culture-shifting projects to become your boldest most authentic self. Hosted by Louisa Shaeri, artist, coach, cultural activator, founder of SOLA Systems. Learn more at solasystems.xyz Subscribe to the mailing list HERE
31m
14/08/2024

S2 Ep13: Confidence, access and 'Art School', with Mia + Eric

"The art world is so opaque and it really doesn't provide a lot of feedback or clear communication. So many processes are difficult to navigate, I think, probably for most people. And then for someone like me, who really needs to understand the whole process, why things are happening, it's just so difficult to access. and because there was a sense of scarcity and precarity, we didn't really feel stable. Like we just had to keep working and overworking to prove ourselves..." This week on the Unmasking Unschool podcast, I speak with artists Mia Rushton and Eric Moschopedis (Mia + Eric). They share insights from their 15-year collaborative art practice, and what unfolded in our coaching journey that formed part of their ongoing project 'Art School'. You'll hear about their struggles with art world opacity and inaccessibility, and the resulting self doubt, and sense of not belonging, as well as the breakthroughs that enabled them to recognise the value of their work, and embody that value with a new level of confidence. Plus the ripple effects - including in how they care for themselves within their practice. "[it's] been liberating and exciting because it means that we get to decide which systems and structures are interesting to us and which support us and which ones don't and which ones we want to engage in." Mia and Eric also share about their unique approach to creating a poetic, adaptive and relational culture of access, that informs their work now, and their artwork: 'A Guide for the Prepared'. To learn more about Mia + Eric's practice: miaanderic.ca @mia.and.eric ___________ TRANSCRIPT ___________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast is for autistic visionaries, creatives and change-makers. Who are seeking to exit the burnout cycles, pathology paradigms, masks and self-negations of the past that keep you stuck, and want to realise the self-reinventions, life pivots and culture-shifting projects to become your boldest most authentic self. Hosted by Louisa Shaeri, artist, coach, cultural activator, founder of SOLA Systems. Learn more at solasystems.xyz Subscribe to the SOLA Systems mailing list HERE
48m
07/08/2024

S2 Ep12: Vocational visibility, with Andrea Cox

"I don't think I need some tweaks. I think I need to burn it down." This week on the Unmasking Unschool podcast, I'm joined by the wonderful Andrea Cox (she/her). Andrea joined Unmasking Unschool in 2023 after a burnout that coincided with realising her neurodivergence, and led to the decision to review every aspect of her life, from the inside out. I talk with Andrea about taking the huge leap of going from full time employment to starting her own business as an Occupational Therapist working exclusively with hypermobile and neurodivergent clients. A decision that was part of a complete reinvention of her life structures. We also talk about the self doubts that come with working for yourself, and getting comfortable with a new level of visibility. How creating belief in the value of what you offer means your actions and decision are in integrity with how you best live and work so you can offer that value sustainably, and without waiting for permission. "There's not a single area of my life, honestly, that hasn't been changed." Find out more about Andrea's Occupational Therapy practice, access relevant resources, and subscribe to her waiting list here: https://www.hypermobileot.com/ ___________ TRANSCRIPT ___________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast is for autistic visionaries, creatives and change-makers. Who are seeking to exit the burnout cycles, pathology paradigms, masks and self-negations of the past that keep you stuck, and want to realise the self-reinventions, life pivots and culture-shifting projects to become your boldest most authentic self. Hosted by Louisa Shaeri, artist, coach, cultural activator, founder of SOLA Systems. Learn more at solasystems.xyz Subscribe to the SOLA Systems mailing list HERE
35m
24/07/2024

S2 Ep11: Over-identifying with your ACTIONS

Today's Unmasking Unschool podcast episode is about a common form of static that can mess with your sense of self corrupt the flow of energy corral your actions into contortions. That static in your sense of self is: Over-identifying with your habitual ACTIONS. Because over-identifying with your actions, when your actions are learned protective and reactive patterns, to past conditions means you can't SEE yourself clearly nor whats possible for you. SO we clean them up. And because ACTIONS are a primary source of belief. So when you need to believe New Things about your self, future and dreams your ACTIONS will be the first confirmation (before anyone else believes). Yup. And when your ACTIONS change course into a path that reflects deep integrity with who you are becoming, inside, and what you really want they create the feedback loop that AFFIRMS that new emergent self. Subscribe to the mailing list HERE ___________ TRANSCRIPT ___________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast is for autistic visionaries, creatives and change-makers. Who are seeking to exit the burnout cycles, pathology paradigms, masks and self-negations of the past that keep you stuck, and want to realise the self-reinventions, life pivots and culture-shifting projects to become your boldest most authentic self. Hosted by Louisa Shaeri, artist, coach, cultural activator, founder of SOLA Systems. Learn more at solasystems.xyz Unmasking Unschool opens for enrolment in September! Get ready... This is the online group coaching, support system, and social context for #autistic/audhd visionaries, creatives, change-makers who are not here to fit in, to enact the life pivots, self re-inventions involved in becoming your boldest self, and realising your most impactful work in the world... Subscribe to the mailing list HERE to find out more.
34m
16/07/2024

S2 Ep10: Over-identifying with your environment

Your level of self-belief that YOU can  • create the creative / rebellious / outstanding / impactful / world-changing / unique visions, projects, services that you dream of • BE YOURSELF and make life work at the same time • experience your FULL self as lovable, seen, enough... that belief level is directly correlated to what your environment (your social, economic, physical context) reflects about WHO you currently are and how much that aligns with inner self. How much the IDENTITY you crafted in response to that environment, actually supports you BEING who you are. So if that IDENTITY is out of date, misaligned, inaccurate AND you want to go against the grain of your environment or your past of what people expect of you to MAKE BIG DREAMS happen, that requires carving out space (head space, physical space, attention, time, relational space) for the parts of self, the version of you that YOU haven't yet experienced. The new IDENTITY, that your current environment can't possibly reflect... Subscribe to the mailing list HERE ___________ TRANSCRIPT ___________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast is for autistic visionaries, creatives and change-makers. Who are seeking to exit the burnout cycles, pathology paradigms, masks and self-negations of the past that keep you stuck, and want to realise the self-reinventions, life pivots and culture-shifting projects to become your boldest most authentic self. Hosted by Louisa Shaeri, artist, coach, cultural activator, founder of SOLA Systems. Learn more at solasystems.xyz
27m
11/06/2024

S2 Ep8: Learning Publicly: the unfolding of self-clarity, after late-identifying as autistic / AuDHD

Tightly attuned for survival teaches you: to be oriented to how other people see you. Then comes: a late-diagnosis/self-identifying as autistic, or AuDHD opening a door, unfolding a second adolescence, that doesn't match your age, and the "supposed to have done X by now"s: supposed to know what I like supposed to know how to do life supposed to have a job, kids, partner(s), purpose, blah blah by now, supposed to know what I really feel and what I really want by now supposed to be living that already by now supposed to know WHO I am, by now That AGE COMPARISON, in the unacknowledged context of survival, creates a sense of loss; shoulda woulda coulda IF ONLY I'd known earlier. Yes, if only. It hurts. And - We are a product of our times; of so much before our times of so much outside of our own spheres of influence and yet here we are. EXISTING. Here you are. Still alive to find out. Still alive to re-write the story of WHO you are based on what you did next. That journey of WHO AM I NEXT? means: learning publicly. Giving over to a process of sharing the process of finding out who you are, visibly. Of being someone who is re-oriented to inner self in order to FIND OUT. And letting go of the shame of not knowing (how) so you can GET to know WHO you became next. That willingness to learn publicly, transforms the sense of loss into mind-blowing unfolding of finding out. Subscribe to the mailing list HERE ___________ TRANSCRIPT ___________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast is for autistic visionaries, creatives and change-makers. Who are seeking to exit the burnout cycles, pathology paradigms, masks and self-negations of the past that keep you stuck, and want to realise the self-reinventions, life pivots and culture-shifting projects to become your boldest most authentic self. Hosted by Louisa Shaeri, artist, coach, cultural activator, founder of SOLA Systems. Learn more at solasystems.xyz
30m
28/05/2024

S2 Ep6: Make your dreams real by Skills Stacking for monotropism + distinction depth

Like many late-identified autistic / AuDHD / ADHD folks, a foggy, porous, unstructured sense of self; illusions, fantasies, pipe dreams... was my predominant experience of myself, until I learned to take EFFECTIVE, STRUCTURED ACTION. That action has to be structured a certain way for it to be effective. I couldn't do things the way other people did them nor follow their ideals, without losing myself. "falling into holes" In finding what has worked for me, I've adapted a concept that makes a strength out of my need to go deep; my monotropic tendencies; my need for distinction depth; A way of structuring ACTION, called 'skills stacking'. And this week's podcast episode is about why this works. Focusing on the next skill / system / sensorial groove until it is established, STACKING them one by one, has given me the material experience  of my own agency, boundaries, and effectiveness (the antidote to a porous self) and helped me to build belief, clarity and unconscious competence for my big impossible dreams at speed. I hope it serves you too. Subscribe to the mailing list HERE ___________ TRANSCRIPT ___________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast is for autistic visionaries, creatives and change-makers. Who are seeking to exit the burnout cycles, pathology paradigms, masks and self-negations of the past that keep you stuck, and want to realise the self-reinventions, life pivots and culture-shifting projects to become your boldest most authentic self. Hosted by Louisa Shaeri, artist, coach, cultural activator, founder of SOLA Systems. Learn more at solasystems.xyz
18m
13/03/2024

S2 Ep3: Beyond performance, with Jem Dobie

This episode is an interview with Jem Dobie (they/them). Jem is a 'sensory sibling' who has been through the Unmasking Unschool journey, and you're going to hear them talk in generous and vulnerable detail about what it's been like to transform their experience of their life, their sense of self, their relationships and the work they're doing in the world. More about Jem: The Feel Good Circus: Jem Dobie & Rowan Berry [email protected] On instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.feel.good.circus/ On facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thefeelgoodcircus Mentioned: Access Intimacy, by Mia Mingus: https://leavingevidence.wordpress.com/2011/05/05/access-intimacy-the-missing-link/ Jem's favourite resource on boundaries, by Prentis Hemphill: https://open.spotify.com/episode/65HYFdou7s7vR8LDQpjVAV?si=T3NN1_M8QOearLu-O22cPA The 'Finding our way' series is also a really important resource for Jem, and this episode, in which Prentis Hemphill interviews Kazu Haga, is where Jem first heard ‘slow is smooth, smooth is fast’: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5oPiPY4iB7GbbLSq3oOOEr?si=wNnzzGPqQTy_m537SX-nXw ___________ TRANSCRIPT ___________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast is for autistic visionaries, creatives and change-makers. Who are seeking to exit the burnout cycles, pathology paradigms, masks and self-negations of the past that keep you stuck, and want to realise the self-reinventions, life pivots and culture-shifting projects to become your boldest most authentic self. Hosted by Louisa Shaeri, artist, coach, cultural activator, founder of SOLA Systems. Learn more at solasystems.xyz ___________ OPEN FOR ENROLMENT: Unmasking Unschool, the groundbreaking 6 month coaching program, for ambitious, kind-hearted, visionary #autistic folks seeking to enact the life pivots, self-reinventions and creative innovations to become your boldest, most authentic self. Learn more: https://www.solasystems.xyz/
51m
07/07/2023

S1 Ep35: 35. Prospering as a deviant

Connect with Louisa on Instagram HERE Episode Summary: In the legacy of Eurocentric forms of knowledge, that are about having a self appointed god-like gaze over others and naming and labelling and defining meanings into splits separations and hierarchies, there is an obsession with being right. With doing the right thing in the right way; fitting in with the status quo being a good cog not rocking the boat. This can complicate the path to identifying, expressing and contributing your gifts. And contribute to a sense that - it’s not actually okay for me to express my gifts. It's not possible for me to prosper AND be myself. It will lead to rejection or harm. And yet, you have an inner conviction, right? There is some part of you that does know that you have strengths, insights, perspectives, gifts, unique zones of excellence... So the solution is to get around people who can amplify that inner knowing. And who can reflect that conviction back to you. Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/035 The next cohort of The SOLA System + Siblings will open in July. Get on the mailing list here: solasystems.xyz _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the fiction of 'normal'. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are, build a life that works, and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self: Sign up to the mailing list at solasystems.xyz
22m
23/06/2023

S1 Ep33: REFUSAL: Stage One of Burnout Recovery

Connect with Louisa on Instagram HERE Episode Summary: 'Autistic burnout'? Afraid of reaching and aspiring because of the inevitable crash and burn? Overly familiar with over-adapting and recovery cycles? This episode is for you... and it's about step one: The REFUSAL; the "NO"; the de-consenting; This is how healing can begin. The decision to put your own needs above the demands to push past your own limits, is the first step to increasing those limits. Carving out extreme boundaries so you can come back into connection with your true inner boundaries. However, we can sometimes be afraid of the NO, of rest, of stopping, of exiting the approved lifestyles... And so sibling, know that before it starts to feel good again, it might have to feel worse... and thats okay.  Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/033 The next cohort of The SOLA System + Siblings will open in July. Get on the mailing list here: solasystems.xyz _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the fiction of 'normal'. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are, build a life that works, and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self: Sign up to the mailing list at solasystems.xyz
24m
12/05/2023

S1 Ep31: Creating Safety to Take Up Space

Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/031 _____________________ This episode is all about creating safety to take up space; to expand our agency and influence; in the world, in our work, in our relationships. I speak to how the internalisation of external harms we experience, can take up space in our bodies and hearts and minds and future outlook. Unpacking it is how we release the weight that holds us back from expanding into more. That taking up space in our bodies is HOW we can begin to take up more space in our lives and the world. _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the fiction of 'normal'. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are, build a life that works, and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self: Learn more at solasystems.xyz
39m
11/04/2023

S1 Ep29: 29. 9 Reasons why you might be rushing past your own boundaries

Doors are OPEN to The SOLA System + Siblings: https://www.solasystems.xyz/spring The unmasking unschool for the creative #autistic in you to finally feel SEEN, SUPPORTED, and SELF EXPRESSED - Unlearn false selves - Immerse in resonant community - Invent a life that works Create the self-acceptance, worthiness, and energy-supporting structures around your autistic differences to realise a felt possibility into a material reality and to turn the resilience you've already built over-adapting to what doesn't work, into the future you want. INFO HERE: https://www.solasystems.xyz/spring _____________________ Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/029 _____________________ Episode summary: Are you rushing? This episode unpacks a common pattern I see amongst those I work with, and my own patterns too; of thinking "I don't have enough time" and rushing past your own processing pace, in ways that guarantee that you don't indeed have enough time. I unpack 9 reasons why this might be happening... _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late-identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the confines of normativity. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self. Learn more at solasystems.xyz
33m
04/04/2023

S1 Ep28: 28. From stuck to self expressed

Doors are OPEN to The SOLA System + Siblings: https://www.solasystems.xyz/spring The unmasking unschool 
for the creative #autistic in you to finally feel
 SEEN, SUPPORTED, and SELF EXPRESSED

 - Unlearn false selves 
- Immerse in resonant community 
- Invent a life that works Create the self-acceptance, worthiness, and energy-supporting structures around your autistic differences, to realise a felt possibility into a material reality and to turn the resilience you've already built over-adapting to what doesn't work, into the future you want. INFO HERE: https://www.solasystems.xyz/spring _____________________ Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/028 _____________________ Episode summary: There are a whole lot of external conditions you didn't choose. Those conditions influence the habitual self you became in response. When that habitual self no longer fits, or never fit. Or you’ve awakened to the desire to BE in a new way; When you are being pulled into a next version of self. is when that old self will start to feel uncomfortable and stale. Maybe you are wanting to create a project or make a vocational leap, or change direction; but feel stuck, scared, lost, and like you don't have permission... This episode is about how you get unstuck, and start making lasting changes. _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late-identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the confines of normativity. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self. Learn more at solasystems.xyz
40m
07/03/2023

S1 Ep27: How to get unstuck

Join me for the free online seminar: How to get unstuck and unmask, when masking is a systemic issue 22 March 2023, 1pm GMT Register: https://www.solasystems.xyz/workshop _____________________ Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/027 _____________________ Episode summary: Masking is a systemic issue. A learned response to to stigma, inaccessible and oppressive structures and social expectations. It also creates a belief that I want to highlight: "I can't be myself AND make life work" This is an inevitable conclusion of having learned that YOUR natural way of being upsets people. Or is wrong. Or is not enough. Or is too much. That being yourself is just not an option that leads to interpersonal, physical, psychological or material safety. That you have to put other people’s comfort and good opinion and acceptance and the status quo that maintains that, above yourself. And disconnect from yourself in order to maintain. Along come the two main narratives to then draw on: that “it’s not possible to be myself AND make life work” because: 1) of who YOU are, and what you do/don't do or 2) is because of who THEY are, and what they do/don't do. Neither of these are empowering. The answer is somewhere in between: That yes, there are the external systems and structures, the dominant consensus reality, specific cultural norms and ideologies and harms, the people who are resourced in their natural state But there is also: the habitual self you’ve been being, that you created in response to all that. That acts in agreement with what doesn't work - because you believe there is no other option. The habitual ways of thinking and reacting and acting that over time that became just the way you do things, and over longer time, became the only self that you know how to be.  The only way THIS self knows how to make life work, is by NOT being all of who you are. To put your own self connection last. The only way we begin that external change, is if we first unravel it's effects in our self-relationship. In our: beliefs, thoughts, actions (the parts we can control). In this week's podcast episode, I explore how the solution is to know deeply that: the ONLY way for you to make life work IS to be yourself. _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late-identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the confines of normativity. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self. Learn more at solasystems.xyz
32m
28/02/2023

S1 Ep26: FROM THE ARCHIVES: Are you caught up in trying to be right?

Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/026 _____________________ Episode summary: After realising you are autistic there is a needs must to deep dive "obsessively". To share everything you are learning ("info dump"). To make a “special interest” of (a.k.a. become a niche specialist in) all things autism. And my words to you are: go for it!! But I also want to share a word of warning; Because the seeking of those glimpses of self revelation requires wading through piles and posts and podcasts and publications that are full of misinformation. And so this process can come a painful confrontation with ableism including that which you've internalised. And with that, a desire to advocate against that DEARTH of misinformation. To make it wrong, in order for you to feel right. That was me. I wanted to argue for all the parts of myself that now needed to be seen, by focusing on all of the papers, and pathology paradigms and books and blogs… that had it wrong. In that need to be RIGHT, for there to be a ‘right’ way to think, I was also reproducing the same oppressive logics that I was seeking to make wrong.  Unlearning that desire to be RIGHT, by making other people WRONG (even when they are!) is a crucial component of the journey to feeling good about who you are and creating the inner freedom to BE who you are whether or not you have the agreement or understanding or buy-in. Especially from the people who have more access to knowledge production and dissemination, to share *about* who they think you are, then you do. The underlying questions I ask in this episode are: Can you: let them be wrong about you. Can you: let "them" become irrelevant.     _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late-identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the confines of normativity. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self. Learn more at solasystems.xyz
24m
21/02/2023

S1 Ep25: Explaining yourself - things can be both true, and unhelpful

Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/025 _____________________ Episode summary: Autistic folks, have to EXPLAIN themselves too much. The gap between the lived experiences of YOU and the lived experience that consensus reality regards as REAL… is a wide canyon. Crossing it, too often falls on YOU to explain your way into their reality SO it is reasonable to believe that BEING YOURSELF requires you to change their reality, so to fit you inside it. To change their thinking so they understand you. This belief holds true across instances where there is a lot at stake in being understood; healthcare systems legal systems workplaces social services etc. But having the permission to also NOT have to be understood is also part of the solution. Allowing ourselves to question what is STRUCTURALLY TRUE, and yet unhelpful thinking, allows us to see beyond the REALITY imposed on our bodies without consent. To imagine outside of its dictates. And to give permission to what can only exist when we allow ourselves to NOT be understood. This is the contradiction at the heart of this work; to acknowledge what is tangibly real while also imagining beyond it. In this episode, I invite you to imagine beyond having to make sense and explain yourself to everyone. _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late-identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the confines of normativity. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self. Learn more at solasystems.xyz
36m
14/02/2023

S1 Ep24: 24. Am I becoming "more autistic"? + Claiming the right to be inconsistent

Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/024 _____________________ Episode summary: Am I becoming "more autistic"? There is an ableist tint to this question, that can accompany realising you are autistic later in life, or during any times in which there is just MORE going on. The MORE might not be the immediate stressors of your sensory or social environment. They can be the big changes, the emotional, hormonal or physical transitions of life, the unanswered questions of: what will happen? who am I? All of which can lead to a waxing and waning of your skills, abilities, energy, access needs and style of expression. In this week’s podcast episode, I dive into some possible angles on why this might be the case, to normalise being inconsistent. _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late-identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the confines of normativity. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self. Learn more at solasystems.xyz
29m
07/02/2023

S1 Ep23: 23. From the archives: 'Aspergers' was cancelled, but is 'autism' neutral?

Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for bonus beams from The SOLA System, plus you'll get the link to join the FREE 'siblings' community of other creative neurodivergents also working to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Episode summary: The first of several bonus episode from the archives, of my first podcast that I had in 2020. The critical perspectives in these episodes are also what we get into in the first three planets; these are part of the tunnels of un, the unlearning and how that uncomfortable work - the discomfort - is a necessity for change; across the personal and systemic. This episode is a critical examination of why 'aspergers' was cancelled, but 'autism' remains unquestioned. TRANSCRIPT: https://www.solasystems.xyz/blog/023 _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late-identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the confines of normativity. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self. Learn more at solasystems.xyz
34m
31/01/2023

S1 Ep22: 22. Executive Function and Making it Real

Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Episode summary: The skills for the DOING part is sometimes known as ‘executive function’ skills. Such as: task switching, organising, prioritising, flexible thinking, working memory, multi-tasking, impulse control, keeping track of what you are doing, starting and finishing tasks, managing time...  And while these may not be our strengths, difficulty with these skills are also NOT reflective of bad character (“lazy” “selfish” etc). But, they can be where many of us get stuck. Because traditional approached to DOING (executing on) your intentions, don’t fit. To do lists… don’t work. Self-admonishment… doesn’t work and leads to burnout. Task switching a million times a day…. doesn’t work. Sticking to a schedule with lots of transitions and bits and emails… does’t work. Excitement… works… but only lasts as long as the dopamine of the thrill of the new thing. So how to get unstuck around the DOING when typical routes to doing, don’t work? This is a question I’m intending to help people answer, as The SOLA System program is going through a refresh. And in this episode, I share a bit of my thinking about why. _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late-identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the confines of normativity. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self. Learn more at solasystems.xyz
38m
17/01/2023

S1 Ep20: 20. Reframing Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for bonus beams from The SOLA System, plus you'll get the link to join the FREE 'siblings' community of other creative neurodivergents also working to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. Episode summary: Labels can be helpful. To help you name an experience. To have a way to refer to where you are at. And accept that this is where you are at. But they can also become your identity, locate a problem entirely in your body, and making it seem like this is just who you are. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, is one of those labels where it's both. It's helpful to name when you experience excruciating, all-encompassing and sometimes even physical pain in response to instances where you aren't given love, acceptance, approval and inclusion. But we also have to name the -isms (ableism, racism, behaviourism, gender-based prejudice...) that contributed to this heightened vigilance, and the ways these can be internalised as: your entire self is coupled-in-with the rejection. In this week's podcast episode, I take the RSD phrase, that originated in the clinical context, and reframe it from a coaching perspective; as one that you can heal and transform your experience of rejection. So that rejection doesn't come with an internal rejection of your whole self (the much bigger pain involved in RSD). RSD is really: self-abandonment as a response to rejection. The external triggering of internal self-rejection. That's good news, because it means you can work on it. _____________________ The sensory siblings podcast is hosted by Louisa Shaeri, and beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. This is a radical reimagining of what is possible when we redefine ourselves from within; by unlearning who we are not, making self connection our goal, activating the languages of our sensory oriented perception, and creating the culture shifts to activate futures + selves. It all starts within. TRANSCRIPT _____________________ Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings
40m
23/11/2022

S1 Ep18: 18. Are you waiting for permission?

Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Episode summary: This episode kicks off a series of podcasts on this topic of belonging to ourselves more fully, and in every new arena we enter... You might say that belonging to yourself means: Deciding that you allow… yourself. That you allow… the experiences you are actually in. That you are allowed to like yourself, love yourself, without conditions. Unconditionally.   Many of the siblings I coach enter my unmasking unschool 'The SOLA System' with beliefs that are all variations on one theme: that they are fundamentally wrong on some level. That they are too much, or not enough. That they are the problem. That there are conditions on their belonging. That they need permission. This belief has had them making DECISIONS, and thinking THOUGHTS, based on the idea that they need to get approval first. That the barrier is outside of their control - because permission is up to other people. That permission isn’t yet granted. That they need to convince, conform, or persuade, to get it. But permission to be who you are, can only come from inside you. You give yourself that permission. Listen to find out how. ________ The sensory siblings podcast is hosted by Louisa Shaeri, and beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. This is a radical reimagining of what is possible when we redefine ourselves from within; by unlearning who we are not, making self connection our goal, activating the languages of our sensory oriented perception, and creating the culture shifts to activate futures + selves. It all starts within. TRANSCRIPT _____________________ Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings
39m
03/11/2022

S1 Ep17: 17. Committing to possibility: the courage to live boldly in your truth

Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Episode summary: Is there an internal reality that you know about, but you haven’t enacted the decisions to make it real on the outside? Because you know it will change things. Be it a way of expressing yourself, or your sexuality or your gender or your cognitive style, or identity, or a role in the world, or a belief or cause that you have strong feelings about, or a way or offering something to the world as a vocation, or a family decision or a home decision, or a relationship decision... Committing to POSSIBILITY - means to commit to something for which you have no experience for yet. No certainty about how it will go down - in other words, what will happen and how other people will react. How you will react to their reaction. That lack of evidence means it’s very hard to feel certain about doing it. The doubt and fear become reasons not to act. So how can you start taking action towards possibility when you don’t have full belief? When you aren’t sure you can handle what happens, if it will work out, or if you will do it? By committing. Commitment is a line in the sand that creates a before and after. Commitment is created in the heart space of self connection; with the courage to FEEL all the emotional truth of where you are at; both negative - regret, disappointment, envy… and positive (just as uncomfortable): desire, want, a secret dream. Allowing yourself the safety in your own body to FEEL it all, means you can no longer hide from your truth. That radical truth telling creates commitment to being in integrity with your truth, no matter what. When you establish that depth of self connection, you create a kind of commitment that ignites belief. Because maintaining that integrity in your actions matters more than the results. And your actions grow your belief. You then get to WATCH your life re-shuffle around the truth of who you are becoming: A life full of the boldness and magic of being true to YOU. ________ The sensory siblings podcast is hosted by Louisa Shaeri, and beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. This is a radical reimagining of what is possible when we redefine ourselves from within; by unlearning who we are not, making self connection our goal, activating the languages of our sensory oriented perception, and creating the culture shifts to activate futures + selves. It all starts within. TRANSCRIPT _____________________ Head over to solasystems.xyz where you can activate your membership in the free + Siblings community, hosted on Discord. To find out more about The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool', go to solasystems.xyz/siblings
39m
27/10/2022

S1 Ep16: 16. Thinking in Possibility: how to know what you want

Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Episode summary: It can be hard to know what you want,  when you don't believe that you get to create what you want. That you have permission. When so often, what you wanted (to do, be, say, not say) has been “wrong”; And when over-adapting has been hard enough, so anything bigger, better, brighter, beyond, carries the fear that it will require more burnout, more over-adapting; When saying YES to yourself and TRUSTING those instincts has led to rejection. But here's the thing; When you don’t identify what you want to create in this life, intimately, clearly, desirously… then you end up re-creating either: - your past - what other people want for you - what already is. To know what you want to create, means to start thinking beyond the probability of What Is. To no longer delegate your thinking to your past, statistics, other people, current circumstances... To know what you want to create, means to think in Possibility. To fill that void of what could be, with intentional decisions. And to trust it. Why? Because your fully expressed self is seeded in that void BEYOND probability. That void is dark matter potency; is potential universe; is potential YOU. When you recognise the potent power of that void to invoke the unexpressed parts of you, you can use it to KNOW (sense listen, feel, connect to) what you want to create. And as Rumi said: what you are seeking is seeking you. You wouldn’t want it, if it wasn’t possible. Those desires are in you for a reason. Thinking in that possibility is the first step to REALising things beyond your current circumstances, and realising the fullness of who you are inside - on the outside. In this week’s podcast episode, I share a story to illustrate this point, and invite you to THINK in possibility. ________ The sensory siblings podcast is hosted by Louisa Shaeri, and beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. This is a radical reimagining of what is possible when we redefine ourselves from within; by unlearning who we are not, making self connection our goal, activating the languages of our sensory oriented perception, and creating the culture shifts to activate futures + selves. It all starts within. TRANSCRIPT _____________________ Head over to solasystems.xyz where you can activate your membership in the free + Siblings community, hosted on Discord. To find out more about The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool', go to solasystems.xyz/siblings
29m
20/10/2022

S1 Ep15: 15. From the margins to centre stage: Making Decisions

Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Episode sumary: Do you know what uses up an overwhelming amount of cognitive bandwidth? Unmade decisions. Unmade decisions like: What shall I do with this shirt I don’t like anymore? What shall I reply to that email? What should I do about the job offer when it’s not my dream? Unmade decisions are like open tabs on your browser; they use up processing power. Unmade decisions clog the system.  They slow down momentum.  They keep you… stuck. This is why Making Decisions is one of the five core frameworks in The SOLA System. Making Decisions is how you get unstuck. It’s how you go from: living in a state of unfinished-ness, hypothetical, “one day” hope, living in the margins, waiting in the wings, watching your personas and other people’s decisions direct your life... to actively directing, and writing, and being the main character of your life, on centre stage in a play you wrote and directed. Making Decisions is how ensure your life isn’t being played by other people’s ‘shoulds’; their ideas for you, their agendas, their ideologies, their direction. Or influenced by audience members you didn’t invite, who occupy your mind with why they are expecting to see something you aren’t here to deliver. When you look at your life, and the show on stage isn’t one YOU chose on purpose, and the script running through your mind was written by someone else, and the character you are playing isn’t true to you,  It means: it’s time to start Making Decisions. It’s time to step onto that stage, take up the role of director, and re-write that play. It’s time to get to know who you are here to be: by BEING it. And to inform the critic in the front row, to Watch, and Listen. It's time to take up full ownership over the Decisions that shape what happens on your stage; who shares it with you, what it means to BE you, what the narrative arc of your experiences say about WHO you are. It starts by bringing your own thoughts and feelings into the spotlight of your own awareness. In this week’s podcast episode, I share how one of my partner’s observations of me allowed me to trace and undo a decades-old pattern; of leaving things unfinished. Of avoiding decisions. Of waiting for “my real life” to start.  And to finally start committing to my actual life - by stepping into the role of director, playwright, and lead actor - by Making Decisions. ________ The sensory siblings podcast is hosted by Louisa Shaeri, and beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. This is a radical reimagining of what is possible when we redefine ourselves from within; by unlearning who we are not, making self connection our goal, activating the languages of our sensory oriented perception, and creating the culture shifts to activate futures + selves. It all starts within. TRANSCRIPT _____________________
43m