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The God Pod is a satirical comedy podcast hosted by God and Jesus. The Divine Duo review the news of the week and try to make sense of the world they created. NEW EPISODES WEEKLY Watch the God Pod in video form: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thegodpodcast YouTube: https://youtube.com/c/TheGodPod Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goodgodabove/
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24/09/2024

Thou Shalt Not Blame Democrats For Republicans Trying To Take Out Your Dad

Dear Donald Trump Jr., I see thou art whining about having to explain to children that a shooter almost killed thy father. Now you know how it feels to be a parent sending their kids to public schools in the USA on any given day. Thou shalt not complain about how unsafe it is living in America. Your father was the president for 4 years. What did he get done? Nothing. He literally people to “get over it” the day after a mass shooting in Iowa. Human life is meaningless to him. Thou shalt not complain about how unsafe it is as you dad’s cult rallies. He has been stirring up a hive of insane bees for 9 long years now. Did thou really thinkest the killer bees would never sting thee? Thou shalt not blame Democrats for two registered Republicans trying to take out your dad in the last two months. Both assassins were registered as Republicans. This most recent one even voted for thy father in 2016! It is not the fault of Democrats, who have always condemned violence and expressed gratitude that Donald is okay. It is the fault of Republicans, who see no problem in encouraging others to commit acts of violence, as your father did on January 6, 2021. As he did last week against Haitian immigrants. As he always does. Hast thou not ever studied history? Being a fascist leader isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Thou might want to read to the end of what happened to Adolph Hitler in World War 2. Those who live by the sword, die by the sword. Those who live by the violent rhetoric, die by their own violent rhetoric. Those who stand in the way of gun control, shall see their own family members die by guns not being controlled. Here endeth the lesson. THE LORD HAS SPOKEN! PS - Oh also, Jesus and I talked about everything that’s happened in the last week in this week’s episode. It’s been a lot.
36m
08/08/2024

God Interviews Project 2025 Expert Andra Watkins

Dear Humans, Earlier this week, Jesus and I had the rare opportunity to converse with Project 2025 expert Andra Watkins, who doth cover Project 2025 every single day on her Substack, “How Project 2025 Will Ruin YOUR Life.” Verily, we quickly discovered that Andra is exceedingly cool and fun, and doth enjoy cursing as much as God. She is delightful and brilliant, and we didst have a blast hanging out with her. In addition to doing the Lord’s work in educating the world on Project 2025, Andra is a cherished member of the God community. I oft see her in our comments and restacking our posts, and if there be one thing God still enjoyeth, it’s that little hit of dopamine from likes, comments, and shares. This is because God is like unto Tinkerbell and doth require thy claps to continue to exist. “I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it's not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.” - Michael Scott, The Office Shoot…lost my train of thought. Anyway, cuddle up with a cup of coffee and hang out with us. Thou hast a little time. I believe in you, humans. Love, God SPECIAL OFFER: To celebrate our 3 month anniversary on Substack and Kamala’s VP announcement today, I'm offering a special one-day discount! For today only, you can become a paid subscriber at a 20% discount. Just click here to claim your August Rise of Democracy Special and support God. Don’t miss out on this divine deal! (Valid through August 9th, 2024)
39m
24/07/2024

Kamala Is Already Beating Trump In The Polls!

Watch the video! Dear Humans, I never could have imagined how emotional the past few days would make me. I have cried more tears of joy, hope, and pride than I can remember. For the first time in a long time, I am filled with hope for the future. Joe Biden's decision to step down wasn’t just a brilliant chess move; it was a symbolic passing of the torch from one generation to the next. And all the next generation wants to do is save the world. They have been champing at the bit for a while. I haven’t been this excited about a candidate since 2008. Kamala Harris stepping up and shining in her new role is truly inspiring. Watching her rise to the occasion fills me with immense pride and excitement for what lies ahead. According to new polls today, Kamala is already beating Trump in the polls by 2 points, and she has barely just begun! Of course, we couldn’t help but laugh at the Republicans’ feeble attempts to criticize her. Their main complaint? They don’t like her laugh. It’s comical how they grasp at plastic straws. Meanwhile, Trump is sulking over the money he wasted attacking Biden. HAHAHAHA! Trump attacked the Capitol to cling to power, while Biden voluntarily stepped down for the greater good. This concept of giving up power makes no sense to fascists, it’s as foreign to them as love. In this moment of transition and hope, let’s embrace the future with open hearts and minds. Together, we can rally around Kamala and defeat the power of Trumpian fascism forever. With hope and love, God and Jesus  
40m
18/07/2024

God Interviews Young Man Who Witnessed the Mass Shooting at a Trump Rally

Dear Humans, Today Jesus and I sit-down with Johnny Palmadessa, a sharp young Democratic Strategist who found himself in the thick of chaos at the Trump campaign rally where a mass shooting occurred on Saturday. One innocent bystander lost their life, and Donald came within 2 inches bullet going through his brain. Johnny shares his firsthand account of the event. Jesus and I tried to wrap our minds around it, and let me tell you, it's not easy processing this kind of madness. Johnny's story is a sobering reminder of the real consequences of divisive rhetoric. It’s a wake-up call, a cosmic nudge, if you will, to re-evaluate who you’re supporting and why. Who will attract more chaos like a magnet in the future? Who will work to calm things down? So, do yourselves a favor and watch the full interview. Trust me, it's worth your time. You'll hear Johnny’s harrowing experience, and maybe, just maybe, you'll come away with a clearer understanding of the gravity of the situation. Plus, Jesus and I throw in some of our classic banter to keep things light. You won't want to miss it. Love, God PS - Watch the video! https://www.thegodpodcast.com/p/surviving-the-trump-assassination Celebrate with Us: We just hit a milestone—over 500 paid subscribers! It’s a tiny fraction of our 54,000 followers, but every bit helps us keep bringing you divine satire. Thank you for your support! To all our devoted followers, we need your help to keep the comedy flowing. Your subscription not only supports our mission to combat chaos with humor, but it also grants you access to exclusive content. https://www.thegodpodcast.com/subscribe Testimonials: James: "Till the worst happens, which just might happen after the election, you at least speak lots of truth. The drug test commentary set me off and I wrote a late in time comment which at least got it off my chest. So without your website no place would be safe (at least for now) and I appreciate the humor, the acid and vitriol that pours out of this page. "  
31m
13/07/2024

God and Jesus Smite The News Media!

Dear Human Being reading this, It’s me, God, and boy, do we have a divine dispatch for you today! We just recorded a brand new episode of The God Pod, and you’re not gonna want to miss this one. We dug into some juicy topics that are hotter than hell's furnace, so grab your popcorn and buckle up. First up, we tackled the question that's been on everyone's mind: Who exactly is trying to push Biden out? Surprise, surprise—it's the millionaires and billionaires pulling the strings. The regular folks? They’re still supporting him. The real puppet masters here are the wealthy elites, and we're exposing their game. Then, we dove into something Ted Lieu mentioned that’s flying under the radar: the Epstein files. Yeah, you heard that right. Lieu said, “Something I've heard that doesn't seem to be getting covered is the Epstein files ... Donald Trump is all over this ... y'all might want to look at that.” The #TrumpPedoFiles should be the hottest hashtag right now. And if that wasn’t enough, MSNBC played a side-by-side clip of President Biden speaking at the NATO summit and Donald Trump’s unhinged rally from last night. Let me tell you, it was like watching a Shakespearean actor next to a guy screaming on a street corner. Biden’s all about diplomacy and coherence, while Trump’s rambling about airports and mothers helplessly watching their kids overdose. Seriously, what alternate reality is this guy living in? Speaking of Trump’s rallies, his latest performance in Doral was a doozy. He goes on about how “Mothers will never again be forced to watch their children overdosing and hosp--lee. And we will never allow mothers to watch their child hopelessly dying in their arms, screaming, ‘What can I do? What can I do? Help me God, what can I do?’” And don't get me started on his rant about dirty, crowded airports. Someone really needs to give this guy a reality check. So, what are you waiting for? Dive into the latest episode and get the full scoop. Celebrate with Us: We just hit a milestone—over 500 paid subscribers! It’s a tiny fraction of our 54,000 followers, but every bit helps us keep bringing you divine satire. Thank you for your support! If you haven’t subscribed to our newsletter yet, what are you waiting for? Head over to thegodpodcast.com to get the latest episodes, satirical news, and more. Testimonials: Corlis Robe: "I supported your work because my world needs more Actual Thought than it currently shows." AlbanianQueen: "You give me hope and make me smile while stating the facts. It's kinda like talking to God!😊" TED GILLUM: "I was raised in the pentuphostile church, and I love how much they hate this.
33m
21/06/2024

Why Louisiana’s Ten Commandments Mandate Won’t Save Its Soul

Dear Heavenly Followers, We’re back with another divine dispatch from The God Pod! In our latest episode, God and Jesus dive into a mix of divine humor and righteous rants, covering everything from Louisiana’s latest classroom mandate to the broader implications of such moves. Here’s your holy recap: 🎙️ Episode Highlights: Why Louisiana’s Ten Commandments Mandate Won’t Save Its Soul Louisiana has decided to mandate the display of the Ten Commandments in every classroom. We delve into the historical context, the legal implications, and the irony of this decision given Louisiana's education, crime, and corruption stats. Spoiler alert: It’s not looking good. Education Statistics: Louisiana ranks 48th in education (U.S. News & World Report). High school graduation rate is 81%, below the national average of 85% (National Center for Education Statistics). Only 28% of Louisiana eighth graders are proficient in math, compared to the national average of 34% (National Assessment of Educational Progress). High Crime Rates: Violent crime rate of 5.7 per 1,000 people compared to the national average of 3.7 (FBI Crime Data). Property crime rate of 32.7 per 1,000 people compared to the national average of 22.0 (FBI Crime Data). High Corruption: Louisiana ranks 5th in public corruption convictions per capita (University of Illinois at Chicago, 2020). Religious Diversity: Only 26% of adults in Louisiana attend church weekly (Pew Research Center). Breakdown: 23% evangelical Protestant, 26% Catholic, 2% Jewish, 2% Muslim, 16% unaffiliated (Pew Research Center). New Commandment: "Thou shalt not require classrooms to display the Ten Commandments when you don’t pay attention to any of them anyway." 🔍 Why Listen? Hilarious Takes: From divine commentary to satirical analysis, our humorous spin on the latest political absurdities will keep you laughing. Stay Informed: Get the latest on political and social issues wrapped in comedy. Unique Perspectives: Hear divine commentary that you won’t find anywhere else. Accessible Anywhere: Listen to this enhanced audio version on your favorite podcast players. Perfect for enjoying on the go or while multitasking. 📢 Don’t Miss Out! Join Our Community: Visit thegodpodcast.com and sign up for our free newsletter. Get exclusive content and behind-the-scenes laughs! Be a Part of the Fun: Share with friends and help us keep the comedy coming. Subscribe for More Improvements: Your support helps us make more improvements to our animation and overall production quality. Support our work. Engage and Share: Share this episode and engage with our posts. Your participation helps us spread divine humor and keeps our community growing strong. NOTE FROM GOD: I accidentaly said the wrong governor's name in this episode. I regret the error. 
27m
19/06/2024

Who Is A Better Father, Biden Or Trump? Excuse Me, I Can't Seem To Stop Laughing | The God Pod

Hi Humans, We’re back with another divine dispatch from The God Pod! In our latest episode, God and Jesus dive into a mix of divine humor and righteous rants, covering everything from surreal papal meetings to the latest political chaos. Here’s your holy recap: 🎙️ Episode Highlights: Who Is A Better Father, Biden Or Trump? Father's Day messages from Biden and Trump couldn't be more different. Biden’s heartfelt message of unity and family contrasts sharply with Trump’s self-centered, grievance-filled rant. We dissect what these messages reveal about their broader political personas. Excuse us if we can't stop laughing at the comparison! Comedians Meet Pope Francis: A 'bizarre' yet impactful encounter where comedians sat down with Pope Francis. We explore how humor and faith can intersect to address pressing social and religious issues. Trump's Cognitive Test Challenge: Trump’s boast about acing a cognitive test becomes ironic as he confuses his own doctor’s name. We discuss the implications of this gaffe on perceptions of his cognitive abilities. Republican Panic After Trump's Milwaukee Meltdown: Trump’s criticism of Milwaukee throws the GOP into disarray. We explore the potential fallout and its impact on the 2024 election. Christian Right vs. No-Fault Divorce: The campaign against no-fault divorce by the Christian right could significantly impact personal freedoms and marriage laws. We explore this movement and its potential consequences. 2024 Presidential Election Developments: From Trump's MAGA-themed birthday bash to Biden’s forceful campaign rhetoric, we cover the latest election news and what it means for the future of American politics. 🔍 Why Listen? Hilarious Takes: From papal meetings to political gaffes, our satirical spin will keep you laughing. Stay Informed: Get the latest on political absurdities wrapped in comedy. Unique Perspectives: Hear divine commentary that you won’t find anywhere else. Accessible Anywhere: Listen to this enhanced audio version on your favorite podcast players. Perfect for enjoying on the go or while multitasking. 📢 Don’t Miss Out! Join Our Community: Visit https://www.thegodpodcast.com/ and sign up for our free newsletter. Get exclusive content and behind-the-scenes laughs! Be a Part of the Fun: Share with friends and help us keep the comedy coming. 💬 Engaging Question: If Trump was drowning because he got electrocuted by a boat, and there were sharks swarming nearby, and you were the only person around, what would you do? https://www.thegodpodcast.com/p/who-is-a-better-father-biden-or-trump  
30m
14/05/2024

Thou Shalt Not Create A Federal Database Of Pregnant Women!

Dear Americans, As the Almighty LORD THY GOD, I’ve watched over humanity for thousands of years.  I’ve seen the evolution of societies, the rise and fall of empires, and the ebb and flow of human rights. Today, I’m frigging furious over Alabama Senator Katie Britt’s proposal for the ‘MOMS’ act, which OF COURSE she says would help moms, but in fact would create a federal database of pregnant women. And that is terrifying. This dystopian database not only infringes on personal freedoms but paves the way for a ‘Handmaid’s Tale’ future. Once created, anytime a woman gets pregnant, it would be one step away from Republicans forcing every pregnant woman to sign up for this database. They would be force-fed pro-life propaganda and denied all access to any information even considering the option for abortion. What’s next? GPS collar trackers to put on their necks to make sure they don’t try to flee to a state that offers abortion access? I can just hear them now, “These GPS, or GOD positioning system trackers, will keep all babies safe from baby-eating atheists.” Set against the backdrop of a second Trump presidency, and the onslaught of Project 2025, there is no question that Republicans are viewing “The Handmaid’s Tale” not as a work of fiction, but as a guide for how to form the future. Did this proposal set off alarm bells across the political spectrum? Was it being covered on all major news networks? I didn’t see anything about it except for what I saw online. Oh, I’m sure it was mentioned on some broadcasts, but sparingly if at all. No time for any of that while they’re busy obsessing about other things. BUT GOD SAW IT. The mere suggestion of such a database should be driving everyone in the country who believes in personal freedom, privacy, and public health? …absolutely insane. I implore you to stand with me against this measure. Spread the word about what the Republicans are trying to do. It’s not enough for them to take away a woman’s right to choose. They will never stop reaching for more. They won’t stop until every woman has an implant that tracks their physical location at all times. Thou shalt not create a federal database of pregnant women, for it is an affront to the sanctity of personal autonomy and the essence of human dignity. God https://thegodpod.substack.com/
57m