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Comedy
Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, and Matt Welch
Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition. www.wethefifth.com
Members Only #160 - Crow's Eagle's Nest
As an Easter and pesach mitzvah to America, we’re gifting this Member Only episode to all y’all…considering that we were on vacation and had no intention of recording it, it’s just Matt and Moyn, and they cover just one dumb subject. An annoyed text exchange about this whole “Clarence Thomas’s friend Harlan Crow loves Hitler” nonsense precipitated this recording, which also exists so we could resurface a relevant listener question from Members Only #152.* The Rolling Stone article Matt mentioned (note the illiterate subhead which also bizarrely suggests one would have to “smuggle” statues of overthrown dictators out of “regimes”)* That Washingtonian article Matt mentioned* That tweet Moynihan couldn’t find* Goldberg and French chime in * A clip from a February Members Only episode in which the lads are asked about Nazi butter knives This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:15:3110/04/2023
#401 - Dying, Lying, and Birding (Live at the Ritz)
Live in front of a crowd of five exhausted crew members, broadcasting from a suite at the Ritz-Carlton in midtown Manhattan (we’ll explain later), it’s another of those *forgive us father, for we are deep in our cups* episodes. So take it all with a rather large rock of salt:Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou, RIPThe philosemitic film festival Peter Sellers was, in fact, Jewish (Sameach Pesach, btw)Ugh. We have to talk about the Trump arrest.The door wasn’t held. America is in crisisThat Trump speechSo who’s winning?There’s bit of the führerprinzip in there, eh?Political earthquakes in Wisconsin / Chicago A qualified defense of JuniorA qualified defense of Don Lemon?Birding while black This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:18:4206/04/2023
Members Only #159 - God Said Be Clean, Sir
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* What was Kmele talking about? You’ll never know….* Jewish basketball, Max Schmeling, European baseball players with consumption* Matt Welch was about to be Paul Castellano’ed* Are you a member of the UAE royal family? Get Moynihan on Emirates* The unsavory Italian members of the family* The knock-on effects of the Trump indictment?* Melania’s forgotten about parents
20:3404/04/2023
#400 - "Trump Indicted (And It Feels So Good)"
* Well, it feels good to various MSNBC hosts, late-night comedians, and resistance types* We don’t *know* how it feels* Because no one wants to admit that we *don’t know* very much* It’s all about race, actually* That NPR interview with Al Sharpton * The opposite of Alan Dershowitz* That weird AI letter* Fox News, Dominion, and brainy rooms* Random thought on John Walker Lindh* Random thought on Adderall and the drug war This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:34:2231/03/2023
Members Only #158 - Fact to Face with an Anti-Racist Genius
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* Tupac’s stepfather Mutulu Shakur* The adorable and execrable Dean Reed* The worst article The Atlantic has ever published* Champagne dreams and Fifth Column nightmares* Trump in Waco * Insulin girl!* That guy cutting your hair is definitely Russian* Georgian helicopters* Schultz and Lula and Russia* Stop saying “lived experience”* That hideous school shooting * Whatever happ…
25:0028/03/2023
#399 - Dumb Debates, Dodgy Dispensaries, Paying Pornstars, Filtered Photons
On Monday night, to a packed house of white supremacists and neo-fascists, Kmele debated the awkward proposition “Are we too obsessed with race?” Moynihan and Welch attended. They were amused and ultimately confused. So the lads unpack just what on Earth they witnessed. After thirty minutes of conversation about drunk Fifth fans and race-obsessed weirdos, they move on to more important subjects like Trump vs. Stormy and DeSantis, the proliferation of illegal weed dispensaries, the acquisition of expensive telescopes, an ESG rule that is DOA, and why throwing hot dogs at communists is a heroic act. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:54:3023/03/2023
Members Only #157 - The Sex Pope Washes Your Feet
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comWe’re still not sure if it was Peru or Chile or Gabon, but regardless…Kmele is back from his equatorial conference…but…is even really needed?? Why, yes, he is! Because in this totally sober, totally discursive Members Only pod, the lads touch on the most important subjects paralyzing the world today: Lenny Kravitz, kids birthday parties, Hilaria Baldwin…
32:1520/03/2023
#398 w/Allison Schrager - "The Horrible, No Good Economy: A Primer”
We do it for you, people. We don’t necessarily want to, but we do. Because you need it. In times of national crisis, the Fifth will forgo all the fun stories so we can tackle the important, necessary stories. It’s time to take your medicine, citizens of Fifdom, and allow Allison Schrager, economist and Bloomberg News columnist, to womansplain just what is ailing the American economy and why the bros and their stupid bro banks are collapsing. According to Schrager, all the people you hate are, in fact, to blame. And after releasing Allison, Welch and Moynihan stick around to discuss Joe’s gay epiphany, the moron students of America’s top university, and why being anti-bothsidesism might be homophobic. Enjoy.Oh. And subscribe to the Substack and get an extra episode every damn week (plus lots of other stuff…like the privilege of yelling at us in the comments). This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:45:4616/03/2023
Members Only #156 - Second Sunday Live! (Rebroadcast)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* Kmele at a Konference? Yup!* Moynihan spills a wee bit of tea about an old job 😬* The New Trump U* Commie spies * The DeSantis strategy * Matt’s baseball digression (on rule changes and the WBC)* This is a very good series * That Twitter Files circus on Capitol Hill* So this is exactly what we were talking about re: purity tests* Don’t identify as anything….* So very much…
37:3713/03/2023
#397 - Just Some Bros Mainsplaining Manganese
It’s just like old times! Because the boys are back in town, recording together in an actual studio, andpregaming with listener-provided booze. So…yeah, things were pretty rough going in…Sorry about that. * We try to answer the age old question…* A handful of some, maybe, constitutes a New York Times trend* Let us, as men, explain something to you…* The sexual decline and fall of the podcast bro* “It’s not because you’re a woman. It’s because I’m an asshole.”* Does anyone at Fox believe anything?* Do these January 6th videos change anything?* Note: my autocorrect knew how to spell “Dolezal”* A very brief Covid digression* And so much more! This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:27:3009/03/2023
Members Only #155 - Passports, Divorces, & Puerto Ricans
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* Puerto Rican passports* Nothing works in New York* Jimmy the Deregulator* Fistfight Airlines * Kmele and Andrew Schultz at Brown* So what about Chris Rock’s Netflix special?* The travails of a listener’s white wife* In praise of Matt and Trey* A “national divorce” is dorm room, edgelord bullshit* The loss of Mayor Pepe* Number #9 dream
33:5106/03/2023
#396 w/ Chris Stirewalt "Fired by Fox, Fixing the News, Eating a McRib"
* Stirewalt on calling Arizona for Biden and the Dominion lawsuit* On getting fired by Fox News* How journalism collapsed * Sean Hannity is not a conservative (he’s a Republican)* The Joe Manchin effect* This wouldn’t have happened under Roger Ailes* Overestimating the media’s influence * The inevitable conversation about mis- and disinformation* Would Chris cancel Alex Jones?* Cruz v. Carlson: the most excruciating interview ever?* Will Reaganism return??* Post-game: lab leak lollapalooza This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:54:1301/03/2023
Members Only #154 - Konference Kmele, Konservative MJ, and Angela Davis's Debts
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* Konference Kmele* The most Jewish podcast in America?* Arguing an overcorrection* Michael Jackson, social conservative* Kmele sends Angela Davis a SASE* Slavery, King Cotton, and fighting with NHJ* The two books on slavery Moynihan mentioned* Listener question about maybe working for a racist conspiracy theorist* More thoughts on big boy mannequins* Clip from Ethan Suple…
36:4227/02/2023
Members Only #153 - Make Way For the Big Boyz
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* Apocalypse apparel* No country for fat men* Singal white journalist * A left-wing Matt *Walsh* stan * Books don’t make a man* Kancel Kmele Pls* On Mistaken Misgendering* Dippin toes, stepping on rakes* A message from Julia (TBC)* Moynihan engineers a Fifth Marriage* The zaps of SSRI withdrawl…* Burning down the house - followed by * A listener wonders: were my Italian grandpa…
24:0720/02/2023
#395 w/ Katherine Mangu-Ward "Nothing Is True and Debate is Murder"
* Moynihan’s hobo disaster* KMW, disinformation queen, stops by for a few, tells us how she broke her kneecap* KMW: The Fifth is staffed by crotchety scare-mongering old dudes (Ed. - This is disinformation)* So why *is* KMD the disinformation queen?* Wait, what does “disinformation” even mean??* The movie Contact is pretty libertarian * Killing old people, dead crank doctors, and libertarian Rachel Welch* According to hundreds of stupid people, the New York Times is a hate group or something* Religious TRUTH replaces reasoned debate * Nothing is real and everything you say is killing people* Moynihan’s Caribbean plea………* And so much more! This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:29:0516/02/2023
#394 w/ Jamie Kirchick "Hammer Time, Larry Craig 2024, TLDR SOTU"
* How Jamie ended up writing about Armie Hammer* So what *is* the Hammer story anyway?* How the motivated reasoning media ignores inconvenient inconsistencies* Is there a path back from an utterly destroyed reputation?* How Jamie’s book Secret City informed his reporting* Heroes and homophobia* So is it true what they say about James Webb?* The Lavender Scare and Joe McCarthy* Who was worse, JFK or RFK?* Would anyone care about Larry Craig in 2023?* Why was Moynihan at a political event in Florida? * SMDH at the FUBAR SOTU* A bit about those Twitter hearings…* And so much more! This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:56:5009/02/2023
Members Only #151 w/ Ethan Strauss - DEI Man and the Foreskin Ceiling
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* Armie of the damned* Jamie Kirchick’s piece on Armie Hammer* The Robin DiAngelo of Sports* Ethan’s piece on “DEI man” Richard Lapchick* The question that ended Ethan’s interview with Lapchick* The NBA’s Foreskin Ceiling * “In this day and age…”* Maverick Carter isn’t going to hire you* That shocking 1976 PBS documentary about racism in Queens * Kids don’t like sports any…
32:3506/02/2023
#393 "Black Stalin, Objectivity Is Racist, & Tax Robots Are Super Racist Too"
* The George Wallace travel app* The genius and utter stupidity of WEB Dubois* That disgraceful Dubois obit for Stalin* A copy of the Conservation of Races book* Len Downie’s rotten, horribly written piece about objectivity in news* Jeff Gerth’s really good piece about Trump-Russia coverage* Remember Hamilton 68? Bush 911? Heaven 17?* Hunter’s sexy jobs program* Did anyone notice that Ol’ Joe said that weird lie again?* Racist tax robots* What’s good for me isn’t good for thee, silly poor person* Welcome to WhiteFolksIsBad.com This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:52:0702/02/2023
Members Only #150 - Memphis Madness, Ubiquitous White Supremacy, and Rope-A-Dope with Mr. Burns
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* A famous Texas hat* Kmele’s Twitter beef with a former guest* The tragedy in Memphis, the predictable response* Ubiquitous white supremacy* Don’t even read Mark Twain aloud* A listener speculates on Kmele’s “blackness”* Back to Texas: they are just nice people, says Moynihan* Name this listener’s baby* The etymology of “Kmele”* Nicola Sturgeon splutters when asked about …
46:2131/01/2023
#392 "Tanks for Victory, Oscars So Boring, and Ben Dreyfuss Is Here to Offend You"
A sober first segment about war and death is interrupted by our chaotic and fatphobic friend Ben Dreyfuss, who joins the Fifth to discuss his insane Twitter account and why he keeps making people really mad. * We haven’t seen many of these Oscar movies* German Leopards for Ukraine* The arrival of “Jaws star Richard Dreyfuss' actor son Ben, 36, [who was] slammed for saying he'd never have sex 'with a fat person’”* That Daily Mail article / We read Ben some of the comments* Wait, why did Ben get fired from Mother Jones again?* Will there ever be a deal-breaking sex scandal again?* Peter Falk, gay icon?* An important conversation about Rocky* Trump can come back to Facebook* The government is suing Google This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
02:03:5126/01/2023
Members Only #149 - Georgia on Our Minds
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* Santos: Hotter as a lady?* Hunter is a shitty person who makes shitty art* Kmele shuts down a Netflix indoctrination session* Georgia: Stupid people play stupid games and win stupid prizes * A shooting in LA * Another shooting in LA* A tribute to a listener* More on Cormac McCarthy (and Camus and Sartre)* Objecting to Douglas Murray* On the weirdness of the Phantom of th…
33:4124/01/2023
#391 "Debt Drama, DEI, and Deceased Rock* Legends*"
* Release The List* Crosby, Not So Great* A Few Nights In Chicago* Squashing Racism ($5 Million at a Time)* Reparations and the US Constitution * A Seat at the Table* Hereditary Culpability and Entitlement* Manhattan Beach* Daily Wire vs. Mug Club* Drew Carey 🖤 CDC* “We ain’t gonna talk bout dem papers (so y’all can quit asking)”* Debt Limit Hold’em* The Anti-Woke Caucus* Florida’s “Objective” Nonsense* What Students Deserve* “If We Lose, You Lose”Recorded: 1/19/23Published: 1/20/23 This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
02:16:3220/01/2023
#390 "Stupid People, Stupid Ideas, and Stupid Solutions" w/ Douglas Murray
* The Corvette Papers* “So my friend gets arrested for murder in South Sudan…” * No sex please, he’s British * The times, they have a’ changed * From Belfast to Pyongyang* If I Did It: Eichmann versus the neo-Nazis* Russophilia, left and right* America: a net exporter of bad ideas* Is there a war on the West?* Douglas’s new podcast, Uncancelled History* In defense of Lincoln and Churchill* Regrets, I’ve had just…one* Disqualifying Kant and Hume* That idiotic USA Today piece cited by Matt * And so much more! This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
02:13:2714/01/2023
#389 "We Need to Talk About Kevin (w/ former Rep. Justin Amash)
* Former Rep. Justin Amash was on the floor during the leadership fight??* Brian Lamb question: What does the speaker actually do?* And what do the Gang of Twenty actually want?* Rep. Amash: Kevin McCarthy “isn’t that bright” and “will do whatever it takes to maintain power”* Why the system is broken and how it got that way* Congress is becoming more European * Reminder: Amash created (and named) the Freedom Caucus* Are you really putting yourself forward to be speaker?* The whole system is broken. And all the other speaker options are reflections of this brokenness* The NYT and “ultraconservatives”* The Ukraine objection exception* A qualified defense of the execrable Skip Bayless* Idiots deciding who gets to speak This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:54:2305/01/2023
#388 "Occasionally Honest, Unseasonably Reasonable"
* Subway Protocol* Lying, Liar* Flooding the Zone* Modest Proposal* The Real Corn Pop* Domestic Disturbance * Buffalo Electronics* Trump Tapes* Moynihan is cold* Welch isn’t paying attention* Kmele coins a good one (for the third time)* Dank Meme Party* After Trump* Read This. Read That.Recorded: 12/29/22Published: 12/30/22 This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:33:3530/12/2022
#387 "Criminally Inclined, Grammatically Policed"
* Sweet Baby Jesus* Ted Cruz 🖤’s Striper* Dress for the Job You Want* Defensive Capabilities + Fiscal Profligacy* The Worst Possible Scenario* Criminalish Betrayal* Worse than Watergate?* Presidential Travel Rewards* The Stanford Grammer Experiment* Demanding or Entitled BIPOCsRecorded: 12.21.22Published: 12.22.22 This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:50:5922/12/2022
#386 ""
* Irish Israeli * France vs Morocco* That Marriage Act* Biden Told The Truth That Time* What Republicans Won’t Do, But Ought to* They’re Actievly Trying to Kill us * Leaving Twitter (Because I’m Oblivious, For the Children)* Doxxing*** Elon’s Plane?* MTG (Would have won!)* Jan 6th Prosecutions* MacedRecorded 12.14.22Published: 12.15.22 This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
02:25:1116/12/2022
#385 "Elon, NHJ, and MJ"
Recorded on Sunday afternoon, this now-vintage episode was consider lost forever, after a certain Fifth Columnist discovered that he still doesn’t understand how computers, cameras, and microphones work. Well….lost until we (i.e. Moynihan) found a weird backup copy of the episode on the Twitch servers! So…a few days late, of variable quality, and now available for download:* Back to the “Twitter files,” reluctantly* Everyone loves Joe McCarthy * Yet another James/Jim Baker* The pointlessness of trying to control speech* The Times pickets* The Times returns, writes an absurd article about Cuba* A Michael Jackson hagiography on Broadway This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:34:5714/12/2022
#384 "The Collapse of Pablo, Anti-Zionist Gimp"
* Yes, we have to talk about Kanye West Ye Kardashian again * Verdict: The man is not well. And is an anti-Semite* Kmele is sad. Matt is not. * Wild guess: Ye is unfamiliar with Theodor Herzl* Note: some people with bad views used to have not so bad views* Remember “slavery was a choice?” That was pretty dumb* Is Kanye making people '“unsafe”?* Matt Taibbi releases internal Twitter comms on the Biden laptop * Journalists: this is the wrong type of journalism* These numbers seem pretty fake * Too many people are interested in politics* Hakeem “the Dream” Jeffries This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:34:0603/12/2022
383 w/ Ethan Strauss "The Realest Jews, God's Favorite, Ben Collins Has... Questions (about himself)"
with/ Ethan Straus of House of Strauss (on Substack)* Does the NBA Have an Antisemitism Problem?* They control the media, our podcast, and the NBA!?* Wait, who isn’t Jewish?* “Step 1, Step 2, Step 3, Hitler”* Baseball + The John Birch Society* Stolen (Jewish) Valor* “More than an Athlete” / Lebron “gettin’ that Jewish money” James* Divide & Sponsor* Was (Is) Twitter Pushing Hysteria* But is it antisemitism? (Does it even matter)* Identitarianism, Judaism, and antisemitism (real and imagined)* How to Talk about “Jewish Supremacy”* The Truth about Black Hebrew Israelites* Threat Inflation (and What if they’re right)* THE NHL(GBTQIA2S+)* Why the NBA 🖤 Crypto* The World Cup* Why Can’t You All Be As Brave as Ben Collins!?* An Actual HeroRecorded 11.22.22Published 11.23.22 This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
02:32:5123/11/2022
382 w/ Nadav Eyal "Revolt and Resurrection: Tel Aviv Edition"
Rejecting twelve hours with the commoners in coach, Kmele remains stateside while Moynihan and Welch make goyish aliyah in Israel. Wandering from the Egyptian border in the South all the way up to Trump Heights in the North, the lads are introduced to one of Israel’s most famous journalists and big thinkers, Nadav Eyal, author of Revolt: The Worldwide Uprising Against Globalization. Eyal graciously joined the Fifth at a recording studio in Tel Aviv for a very deep, very nerdy chat about whether or not the world is collapsing and if the midterms are a harbinger of a changing culture, desperate to move beyond the national populist moment. As we wind down, Eyal gives his verdict on the Energizer bunny of Israeli politics, incoming Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu, and the worrying rise of his racist nutbag coalition partner Itamar Ben-Gvir. After Eyal frees himself from the Fifth’s clutches, Welch and Moynihan stick for a few extra minutes to talk about Jewish girls with guns and why Dave Chapelle thinks they might control Hollywood. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:33:1019/11/2022
381 "The Most Important Midterm Elections Ever"
No Red Wave. No Blue Wave. No Fascist Takeover. No Democracy Dying in Darkness. The 2022 midterm elections came; they’ll take almost a month to sort out (including a runoff in Georgia) — but things are generally about as bad (and good) as they were before the election.Moynihan returns from the field, where he was covering the race in Florida.Welch and his family are momentarily clear of any exigent health emergencies.And Kmele taps in from Austin, Texas. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:43:4011/11/2022
380 w/ Robert Draper "Democracy is on the Ballot (Cause They Crazy)"
* The Libertarian Moment?* To Start A War* Weapons of Mass Delusion* Pelosi Attack* Definitely Not Bothsidesing* Voting For Anyone Else Is a Vote Against Democracy* The Gravity of Things* Reddit profiling* A Few Parting ThoughtsRecorded: 11.2.22Published: 11.3.22 This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
02:13:0504/11/2022
379 "Midterm Closing Arguments, Killing Kanye" w/ Coleman Hughes and Nick Gillespie
* Power Strip* A Victory for Equity* Surveying the Midterms* Fetterman’s Debate Disaster* The Mystery of the AIDS Quilt* The People vs Jim Eagle* Eminent, Indefatigable Election Fraud* Yarvin - The Mastermind* Black Lives Redux* I Miss The Old Kanye* “Whatabout!?” MSNBC Montage* Antisemitic Calypsos* Antisemitic Hip hop* Crosby, Stills and Ugh* T Boz Lives* From Ken Burns to Colorblind* African ApologiaRecorded 10/26/22Published 10/28/22 This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:54:5628/10/2022
378 "Nazis and Sycophants and Cynics (Oh My)"
* Moynihan has COVID (Again)* Another NYC Covid Spike* “Dangerous New Levels of Misinformation”* The Kids Are Actually All Right (but they’re mostly not getting vaccinated)* No Apologies for #DeathSantis* Ladies Who “Lead” (and cry about it)* Red Wave, Blue Wall, Purple People Eaters* Moynihan’s “Free Smoke” Preview* Republican Skullduggery* Yes, And, [ Deepest Possible Sigh ]* The “AOC to Nazi” Pipeline* Trust in Media… still virtually non-existent* The Sycophants and Cynics Coalition* YouTube is Kinda for Snuff Films (but don’t mention suicide or possible vaccine side effects)* Censorship is BipartisanPlus: Nat Con Paradise, Matt’s Latest Thing, Finding the Right Photo, Free Ads, and moreRecorded: 10.19.22Published: 10.20.22 This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
02:11:2621/10/2022
377 "Racist LA, Racist Brooklyn, Deplorable America"
The lads are all around the same table in New York City! And LA Times journalist Gustavo Arellano calls in at the top of the show to explain why the President is calling on four local politicians in L.A. to resign. * Gustavo explains Spanish racial slurs* Gustavo explains the racism of the LA City Council* This is the logical endpoint for dumb identity politics* We obsess over the race stuff at the expense of the naked corruption* Punching dogs for social justice* Matt is a cop-adjacent apologist* Berlin is bad, but not is bad as it was in 1945* A revolution with no solutions* What the WaPo forgot to tell you * Like almost everyone else in American politics, Hershel Walker believes in nothing* Dear lord does Matt hate Margaret Sullivan’s book* Adjectiving your way out of trouble* The U.N. slaps down the Kremlin * Reporting on Fetterman’s stroke is violence* Also: subscribe to the Substack, you freeloader…. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
02:17:4413/10/2022
376 “All the (Unemployed) Young Dudes”
I am usually among the most allergic to broad, immutable-characteristic-based analyses along the lines of “The Crisis of Men and Boys.” Some of this is the usual self-loathing—Screw guys, especially if they’re 54-year-old baseball fanatics from California!, etc. But also, probably due to the extended influence of the man formerly known as Casanova Brown, I have seen too often the fact-bending, anti-individualist and too often punitive ideological temptations of sorting humans into various pens and making grand statements about the resulting statistics.However! When tasked during a recent media appearance to have comments on The Trouble With Males, I stumbled across a stunning (to me) chart at the Bureau of Labor Statistics, showing that the employment rate for dudes between 2001 and 2021 was down in every age bracket younger than 55, and up in every cohort after 55. Dramatic numbers, too—16-19-year-old males went from 50% to 36%; 20-24s from 82% to 73%, and so on. If we’re getting to the point where half of men have never worked before the age of 25, that’s a profoundly different America than some of us old farts grew up in.So when I received a publicist email saying that the Bradley Prize-winning American Enterprise Institute economist Nicholas Eberstadt had just come out with a brand new post-pandemic edition of his groundbreaking 2016 study Men Without Work, I leaped at the chance to talk to him about this subject that I cared not at all about just one month ago. Hoo-ray for the on-the-job learning!Eberstadt, as you will soon hear, has a more interesting pedigree than your average math professor, with a wife who writes about the sexual revolution and identity politics, a sister who was in Warhol’s Factory, one grandfather who was Ogden Nash, and another who co-founded the CIA. And don’t worry, we also talk a bit about commies.-- The myth of “full employment”-- NILFs-- “There is absolutely nothing good that comes out of this trend”-- “Uncannily, weirdly, eerily regular”-- “There's no country in the rich world that has had such a steep radical and continuing drop as the U.S.A.”-- The Lost Decade, and the New Misery-- Wealth without growth-- The populist reaction-- “They don’t do civil society”-- Immigrants get the job done-- California vs. Texas on immigrant welfare-- Schmancy Bobbleman vs. the feminists-- The ex-felon factor-- They’re all on disability-- We just did a national UBI experiment-- Get a job, teens!-- Does this also explain woke/cancel stuff?-- We weren’t gonna let that Warhol connection slide-- Nor the CIA grandpa-- Charles Murray, Tim Carney, J.D. Vance-- North Korea’s role in Russia’s failing war This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:06:4407/10/2022
375 "You Don't Know What Fascism Is"
* Only Fans is for Justice* Internet Experts* Not Even Not Fascism* Right Wing Extremists Everywhere* Blame The EU* What You’re Really Afraid Of* The Beyonce of Journalism* Call of the Wild* Lil Baby Offends* Democratic Illiberalism * Not That Big Lie* Don’t Call It a “Ban” (Even If It’s A Ban)* They Were Watching BaseballRecorded: 9.28.22Published: 9.29.22 This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
02:15:5130/09/2022
374 "Walls Closing In (Again?)"
* Toddler Pestilence* Death Defying Drives* Naked Pool Slide (are you “The Big Guy”* Russia, Ukraine, A wildly outdated PBX systems* Trump’s Devolving Legal Situationship* This Isn’t Political; Trust Me 🤞🏼* Russia Hacked the Women’s March?* Buses, Planes, and “Kidnapping” Stunts* Maybe Build that Wall Now?Recorded: 9.22.22Published: 9.23.22 This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
02:13:1124/09/2022
373 "Notes on White Privilege" w/ Adam Davidson and Thomas Chatterton Williams
Featuring:Thomas Chatterton Williams - Contributing Writer @ The Atlantic, Visiting Professor and Senior Fellow Hannah Arendt Center @ Bard College Adam Davidson - Co-Founder @ Planet Money, Contributing Writer @ The New Yorker*** “It amazes me that any straight, white dudes don't see the privilege we have. It's not subtle.” - Adam Davidson - via Twitter (8/20/22)Not a long tweet. And in the grand scheme of things, hardly an unusual opinion to encounter. Ordinarily, I fire off a reply —maybe there’s some pithy back and forth, but things more or less end up about where they began— until the next (pointless?) social media drama.But maybe we agree to talk instead? Probe a bit further. Perhaps even learn a few things in the process? This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:26:2517/09/2022
372 "The Queen is Dead"
So I broke into the Palace with a sponge and a rusty spannerWith the Right Honorable Matt Welch ensconced in a posh Beverly Hills hotel, prepping to shock and sicken America with yet another appearance on Real Time, Kmele and Moynihan got on the horn to discuss the death of corgi-loving colonialist Queen Elizabeth II, moronic “anti-colonialist” Twitter, Bannon’s perp strut, Moynihan’s unwitting mentor, phantom racist volleyball fans, and an unarmed man shot in the back who wasn’t unarmed or shot in the back. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:32:5809/09/2022
371 "Triumph of the Shrill, Kmele's Thrill, America is Still Ill"
Against a blood-red backdrop, President Biden gives an urgent campaign speech, warning that America is becoming semi-Nazi Germany, Donald Trump is partial Hitler, and our almost democracy is on the precipice of kinda revolution. The lads watch the speech and say lots of really smart things. But before they discuss the end of America, Kmele forces a conversation about Michael Jackson’s Thriller. He has a theory. Moynihan and Welch are…skeptical. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:22:4502/09/2022
370 "Going Commando, Occasionally Reliable Sources"
* Zuck Talks w/ Rogan* Student Loan Forgiveness* Who Cares if It’s Democratic* WashPo: “It’s Regressive!”* The Redbox Test* Student Debt is immoral * Moynihan in an elevator w/ Harry Styles* Oh, my god, they fired Brian (You bastards!)* The Jim Jones of Journalism* NBC “News”* The Many Papers of Donald Trump* That NPR Voice* Ben Shapiro Goes to a Conference (Hilarity Ensues) This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
02:02:4927/08/2022
369 w/ Lara Bazelon and Hamish McKenzie (Live in collapsing San Francisco!)
A few weeks ago, with Matt Welch bleeding out of his ears and supposedly forbidden from flying, Kmele and Moynihan hopped a plane to a post-apocalyptic hellscape called “San Francisco” to kibizt with their new benevolent overlords at Substack. Unlike the boring prigs at Patreon (whose “Trust and Safety” commissars never even returned our calls), Substack rather generously hosted the Fifth crew for drinks, drinks, some more drinks, and a live show at company HQ. In Matt’s stead, the lads called up FOTF (Friend of the Fifth - ed.) Lara “Che” Bazelon, a local law professor and communist revolutionary, and Substack co-founder* Hamish McKenzie, a reactionary publisher of fake news. They discuss San Francisco, the state of the media, the future of free speech, and much, much more. Enjoy.*Note: We previously referred to Hamish as CEO of Substack. He is, we are reliably informed, the "chief writing officer," which sounds to us like a fake job. As such, we now have significant doubts he even works at Substack and suspect he's never even been to New Zealand (which he told us “is the country where Kyle Minogue and Yahoo Serious are from”). This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:31:2320/08/2022
368 w/ Eli Lake "Mar-a-lago Momentos and Nuclear Codes"
Many urgent matters loom large in this dispatch.How did boxes full of TOP SECRET documents turn up a Trump’s Mar-a-lago compound?!Could be an honest mistake… Few moving labels get mixed up; nuclear secrets turn up in a Florida man’s safe. Maybe a box full of Melania’s bawdiest intimates gets serendipitously misdirected to the National Archives.Could America be so lucky?Could Trump be selling state secrets to the highest bidder?Could the “Deep State” be up to no good?Is there a clearance sale at the Banana Republic?We’ve got margaritas, Sativa, a burning desire to sort this 💩 out — and Eli Lake is a responsible adult whose laptop definitely won’t run out of power mid-podcast.Recorded: Aug 11, 2022Published: NOW This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:52:0513/08/2022
367 w/ Rep Peter Meijer "The Almost Exit Interview"
It's among the most unusual and noteworthy congressional primary races of 2022. For a surprisingly long stretch, Michigan's third district has been home to a uniquely independent brand of republican congresspersons. But after Peter Meijer (R) narrowly lost his primary race this week, MI-3's respectability streak is no more.Congressman Meijer's party largely abandoned him. The former President still really hates him. And Democrats spent $435,000 to help boost his MAGA-loving opponent's sparse media profile. Meijer joined us to break down the race, spill a little tea about his soon-to-be-former-colleagues, and share some high/lowlights from his all-too-brief time in office.Recorded: Aug 3, 2022Published: Aug 4, 2022 This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
01:44:2904/08/2022
366 w/ John McWhorter and Glenn Loury "Racial Identity, Abolition and Reckonings"
w/ John McWhorter and Glenn Loury- No Moynihan, No Welch- Progress or Pesmissim- Campus Culture- Culture Warriors- Gaslighting + Reactionaries- DEI Obstacles- Overstatement and Bravery- Dignity + Individualism- Race as Ethnicity- All in Bounds- Pride, Honor, Shame- “Tolstoy is Mine. Dickens is Mine.”- Everything is permissible to meRecorded: 6/14/22Published: 7/24/22 This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
46:1724/07/2022
365 w/ David French "People with Capacities, Roe Reconsidered, Malignant Forces"
with David French contributing writer @ The Atlantic and senior editor @ The Dispatch.James GD WebbCleaning Your RoomPlaying to the CrowdThe Great CRT Ban KurfufflReconsidering that Roe decisionThe Capacity for PregnancyCorroboration, Prosecution, and RestraintTrump v DeSantisWorld Level ExpertsDarker Woods BeyondAnarchapulco This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
02:24:0216/07/2022
364 "Rejecting Boris, Reeducating Macy, Ridiculous Gavin"
* Matt breaks an eardrum* Boris breaks British politics (Ed note: Boris renounced his American citizenship in 2017. We sort of regret the error)* Would Putin free LeBron?* Remember Macy Gray? Well, whoever she is, she’s very sorry* Tim Hardaway, self-proclaimed homophobe* The end of interventionism* Former Japanese PM Shinzo Abe is shot* Andrew Schultz goes the way of Louis CK* 2022 Freedom Bowl: California v. Florida* Gavin Newsom: Slightly Better than Beto* Covid and culture wars: What will matter in 2024We love all of our freeloading listeners. But we’d love you a whole lot more if you subscribed and reaped all the benefits of being a dues-paying member of the Fifdom. So click the button below. Now. It would make us very happy. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
02:10:5908/07/2022
363 w/ Damon Root "Guns, Abortion, The End of All Things"
“Tear it down. Start over again. We can make a brand new start.” - Blue Mafic * A Bad Omen* Judicial Superfluity* Beyond Roe* unenumerated, natural, ipse dixit * Carry Concealed* Conservative Excesss, Judicial Restraint* Europe is Always Better* “Sand in every damn gear…”* Antidemocratic AF* Release the TranscriptsRecorded: June 25th, 2022Published: June 26th, 2022 This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
02:08:4125/06/2022