We’ve all heard the phrase, “Fortune favors the bold” right? But what does it mean to live your life with boldness, how is it related to fear and the overcoming of fear, and in what ways is it different from simply having confidence? What to Listen For Do you have to be confident in order to be bold and why should you want to develop your boldness? What can you do on a daily basis to practice boldness? What steps can you give your children so they can develop strength and boldness in order to better succeed in life? What stands in the way of people bringing boldness into their relationships? How can not being your authentic self damage your relationships and prevent you from moving up in your professional life? How much time is too much time spent trying to improve toxic relationships in your life before it’s acceptable to walk away from them? How can you be more authentic in your relationships and how can being less authentic damage your relationships? If you are facing a loss what can you start doing to cope with the loss to ensure you’re still able to be happy? If you feel like you need a break from socializing, will it damage your relationships to take time off to recharge? How do you know if your social circle truly has your back? What can you do to maintain long distance friendships if you feel like you’re bad at it? If confidence comes from exposing yourself to the unknown and the unfamiliar until it becomes familiar, boldness is the willingness to act in the face of fear and uncertainty. So, in order to develop either one you must be willing to take action. None of us starts at zero - we all have some level of confidence and boldness to begin with, but to improve them we must take action. Practicing boldness will allow you to further increase your confidence, and increasing your confidence unlocks limitless potential in your life. But like any muscle or skill, if they are left alone they will begin to wither. Confidence and boldness must be exercised and practiced regularly in order to keep them growing, so get out there and start living your life with boldness. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Eight Sleep is the first bed engineered to improve your sleep through dynamic cooling and heating, detailed sleep tracking. For a limited time, get $150 off your purchase when you go to eightsleep.com/charm Are you sick and tired of paying high interest rates on your credit cards? Go to lightstream.com/charm Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Resources from this Episode Gia Helena Living with Boldness Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all go through various acts in our lives, and each act carries with it its own challenges and relationships, so how can you take the experience, battle scars, and lessons you learned in one act as you transition into the next? What to Listen For How did Kobe Bryant’s relationship with Phil Jackson influence his Wizenard series of books? Why is it important to embrace the adversity in life rather than avoiding it? What are the biggest life lessons Kobe wants you to take away from his Wizenard book series? Is vulnerability a sign of weakness? How does having children change you as a person and the way you perceive yourself? How can an unwillingness to go the extra mile actually be indicative of a fear of failure rather than simply avoiding extra work? How do you assemble an inner circle of people you can trust? If championships were Kobe Bryant’s Mt Everest in the past, what is his Mt Everest now and how is he going to conquer it? Who are Kobe Bryant’s mentors as he enters the 2nd act of his life? Life is a journey, not a destination, and if you look at your own journey you can usually split it up into segments, each with its own defining theme or challenge you had to overcome. The wonderful aspect of looking at your life in this way is that it allows you to identify what you learned and the strengths you gained from each segment. Every challenge you overcome in life strengthens you, grants you more wisdom, and makes you a more capable human overall. Adversity in life is key to strengthening you physically, mentally, and emotionally. We should not try to avoid adversity, but to seek it, embrace it, and rely on it to make us better. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Granity Studios The Wizenard Series: Training Camp The Mamba Mentality Kobe Bryant on Twitter Kobe Bryant on Instagram Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Positive psychology is a relatively new area of study and it’s garnered a ton of attention over the last few years - but what exactly is positive psychology, how is it connected to the relationships we have, and what can you start doing today to find more fulfillment, happiness, and success in life? What to Listen For What are the core teachings of positive psychology and how can you implement them to get through the lows of life? What is the danger of identifying yourself with work or hobbies or relationships and if those are not ideal, where should you draw your identity from? Rob Mack touches on cognitive agility and emotional regulation and why those two ideas help explain why so many people suffer from addiction Why is it unhealthy to perceive relationships as something to “complete” you and how should you look at them instead? What can you say to someone who is clearly playing the victim and help them move beyond it? What is the one thing we know about the effective therapies around the world and how can you use it to ensure you don’t push people away? Why can comparing yourself to others be detrimental to your happiness and how can you avoid the comparison trap? What can you do to make life cooperate with you and make those challenging times more manageable? How can you interact with toxic people in a manner that allows you to maintain your positive attitude? Happiness is both a choice itself, as well as the result of choices you make in various areas of your life. To be as happy as you want to be, you must take full responsibility for everything in your life, and that includes everything that happens to you. The more blame you try to shift onto other people and things, the more power you give away, and that power is what enables you to choose your happiness. On top of that, the people you spend time with absolutely have an influence over your ability to choose your happiness, making it harder or easier to make that choice. You can be happy and fulfilled around toxic people, but if it’s easier to be happy when you’re around people who support and encourage you and choose to engage you in positive conversations, why would you want to spend your time with anything but? A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Go to untuckit.com or visit one of UNTUCKit’s 50 stores across the US and Canada. Use promo code CHARM for 20% off your first purchase. Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/CHARM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain” Joybird is premium quality furniture, customized exactly how you want it. Go to joybird.com/CHARM and receive an exclusive offer for 25% off your first order by using the code CHARM. Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. Resources from this Episode Happiness from the Inside Out: The Art and Science of Fulfillment Rob Mack Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chemistry is often cited by many as the defining factor in what they look for when venturing into the world of dating - but is it the most important factor when it comes to the success of long term relationships, and what can you do to maximize the chances of finding the one while ensuring you waste as little time as possible? What to Listen For What dating apps are the best for establishing good connections? How do women’s preferences differ from men’s when it comes to dating and how do you take them into account when getting to know new people? What are the advantages and disadvantages of online dating and what can you do to mitigate the potential damage caused by the disadvantages? Is compatibility or chemistry more important in the long run and how should you be viewing both when it comes to looking for what you want? What one simple method can you use to break things off with someone you just met and are not interested in? How can you look at dating in a way that stops making it feel like a waste of your time and energy if you haven’t found what you’re looking for? Relationships can be hard. Many of us have heard that, whether it’s from family or friends or coworkers. But relationships can also be easy… if you allow them to be. In fact, most of the time a relationship with someone you’re thinking about spending the rest of your life with should be easy. That person should accept you for who you are and understand you as an individual. You’re on a team, working together to make the relationship work. This is why compatibility is so important, and arguably more so than chemistry. Chemistry will make for great memories and amazing high’s, but compatibility will carry you through the years. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! GREATS designs classically inspired sneakers for men and women using luxury high quality materials and construction. Go to greats.com and use CHARM at checkout! Live a healthier, happier, more well-rested life in just a few minutes a day with the Headspace app. Sign up now at headspace.com/CHARM to get a free month trial. Resources from this Episode Episode 742 - The Hidden Power of Relationships Evan Katz TED Talk The Paradox of Choice Evan Katz website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Smartphones and the apps that exist on them have blown the doors wide open when it comes to creating options in your dating life as well as giving you the (sometimes false) perception of keeping in touch with friends. But what are the drawbacks of relying on all these algorithms to meet new people, how can you ensure you’re actually nurturing the personal and professional relationships you already have, and what does the science tell us about the current state of our social lives? What to Listen For Are you more likely to meet your significant other on your own or through friends, and what does this mean for you? How have dating apps both improved and damaged the world of dating? Why can information overload have a negative impact on your love life and what can you do to control it? What are emotional bids and how can you use them to improve the relationships in your life, both platonic and romantic? What are Glue Guys/Girls and how do they hold teams together in a corporate/work environment, and what can you do to become one, reducing your chance of getting laid off and increasing your chance of getting that raise/promotion? How do gratitude and asking for help play an important role in the formation of strong bonds, and how can you start using both today to improve your relationships? Why is the act of validating others’ feelings so powerful, whether in a personal or professional setting, and why should you start doing it immediately? What one thing can you do to defuse gossip on the spot when someone can’t seem to stop gossiping to you about someone? At a surface level, romantic and professional relationships couldn’t appear more different: the intimacy, the way you speak to one another, the activities you engage in, etc. But the beauty of human connection is on a fundamental level we all want the same things. We want to be appreciated, we want to be valued, and we want to feel as if our thoughts and feelings matter. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! GREATS designs classically inspired sneakers for men and women using luxury high quality materials and construction. Go to greats.com and use CHARM at checkout! Live a healthier, happier, more well-rested life in just a few minutes a day with the Headspace app. Sign up now at headspace.com/CHARM to get a free month trial. Resources from this Episode “The National Survey of Health and Social Life” aka The Chicago Sex Survey Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship Episode 719 Turning Toward Emotion Episode 720 How to Improve Your Workplace Communication Episode 721 What Matters Most in a Difficult Conversation Episode 722 Wall Street Journal: Baseball’s Winning Glue Guys Beyond Reciprocity: Gratitude and Relationships in Everyday Life Social Isolation in America Psychopath, Sociopath, or Idiots: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Filtering the right people into your life is a skill that can set you on the path to success if you can do it well, and failure if you do it poorly - but how do other people have such a strong influence on your life and what can you do to make sure the people in your life aren’t leading you down a road to failure and discontent? What to Listen For How do the people you surround yourself impact your ability to be happy and accomplish your goals? How can your life be influenced by the friends of friends you don’t even know and what can you do to mitigate the harm they cause? What are “value vampires” and how can you recognize them early on so they don’t waste your valuable time and energy? What does it mean to be a high value individual and how can your pursuit of it help you avoid pain, suffering, and massive hits to your confidence? What do high value individuals do that set them apart from others and lead them to be pursued by everyone else? What is a “friend audit” and how can you perform one to ensure you’re not spending time with the wrong people who are bringing you down or holding you back? Can you avoid the influence people around you have (especially when you work with them all day)? What is the difference between gossiping and venting and why is one dangerous while the other is healthy? What one question can you use to disarm people who try to gossip with you and shift the conversation into a constructive direction? When you allow a low value people into your life, you don’t just bring them into your life, but their friends, their problems, baggage, low value behavior, and values and beliefs. We as humans are influenced by our surroundings more than we think, and it can be a scary thought to confront the possibility that the people closest to you are doing the most harm when it comes to your ability to move forward in life and be happy. As scary and as hard as it might be, performing an audit of your social circle could be the first step in helping you achieve your goals and/or get unstuck if you feel your progress has stalled for a while. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/CHARM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain Resources from this Episode Episode 693: Identifying Low Value Behaviors Episode 694: Becoming High Value Episode 719: Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship Episode 738: What Defines Happiness Episode 739: The Key to Happiness Episode 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness Episode 741: Train Your “Happy” | Q&A w/ Christoph Schnedlitz of hiMoment hiMoment App Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happiness is not a destination, but what does it mean to enjoy the journey, especially when the journey is bound to have rough patches, and what daily habit can you start doing now to make the journey a happy one? What to Listen For How can journaling improve your overall happiness and what one question can you use as a prompt everyday to get you started on the right track? Why do the big moments we look forward to (graduation, wedding, promotion, etc) have little to no impact on our overall happiness? Is the difference between happy people and unhappy people the events in their lives or the way they perceive the events? If happiness is a choice, what can you do to maximize that choice? How do your friends, family, and coworkers influence your ability to be happy? If you’re going through a break up, what can you do to help mitigate the pain and sadness you feel so you don’t get stuck? How can striving for success for the wrong reasons lead to you failing to be happy? What is contributing to all of the misinformation about happiness? How do you deal with the endless potential comparison forced upon us by social media? Your happiness is like a muscle, one that needs regular training in order to get stronger and one that can atrophy if it is left alone for too long. You’re not going to get stronger if you train once or twice a year, so when it comes to your happiness, you’re not going to get happier if you rely on the occasional event throughout the year. The biggest difference between happy people and unhappy people is not the events in their lives, but the way they perceive the events in their lives. If you allow the events to determine how happy you can be, you’ll never be as happy as someone who decides to be happy regardless of the events in their lives. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Go to untuckit.com or visit one of UNTUCKit’s 50 stores across the US and Canada. Use promo code CHARM for 20% off your first purchase. Resources from this Episode Episode 738: What Defines Happiness Episode 739: The Key to Happiness Episode 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness hiMoment App Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happiness is not meant to be a permanent state you exist in, but if you’re not meant to just feel good all the time, what is the end goal of creating our happiness and how do we approach the inevitable pain and suffering we all face in life? What to Listen For Why can negative emotions be your best friend when it comes to your happiness? Russ Harris debunks the popular myths about happiness and explains how they can actually lead you to be miserable In what ways are meaning and purpose related to your ability to maintain your happiness in the long term? How does Russ Harris define a rich and meaningful life that leads to an overall feeling of happiness? What can you do to be more comfortable and accepting of “negative” emotions and how does doing so help you avoid suffering? What is the difference between values, virtues, and morals? Why is it so important to define your values if you want to lead a rich and meaningful life full of happiness? Russ Harris explains what the “reality gap” and “reality slap” are and how your awareness of them can lead you to better handle life’s challenges What is the magic wand question and how can you use it to narrow down your most important values How do you translate values into goals and action plans to ensure you don’t stagnate?4 One of the most popular myths revolving around happiness is this idea that once you “achieve” it you’ll transcend feelings like anger, sadness, pain, and hate, but these are all part of the full depth of human experience. To attempt to remove them from your experience is to remove a part of your humanity. We utilize all of our feelings and emotions to better understand ourselves and the world we live in. Instead, we want to change the way we look at such emotions, strive to understand what is causing you to feel unpleasant emotions, and make better choices about how you respond to them when you start feeling them. Finally, we want to learn to look inward for explanations instead of reacting outward with blame and spite. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/CHARM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain” Joybird is premium quality furniture, customized exactly how you want it. Go to joybird.com/CHARM and receive an exclusive offer for 25% off your first order by using the code CHARM. For a limited time, Postmates is giving our listeners $100 of free delivery credit for your first 7 days. To start your free deliveries, download the app RIGHT NOW and use code “CHARM2019” Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. Resources from this Episode The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris Mindfulness Myths on YouTube The Choice Point on YouTube ACT Questions and Answers: A Practitioner's Guide to 150 Common Sticking Points in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by Russ Harris Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happiness is one of those ideas that has an endless number of quotes about where it comes from (and where it does not). We’ve heard many of them so many times we just wave them off and roll our eyes before jumping back on the hamster wheel and chasing the next piece of cheese, completely unaware of the trap we put ourselves in, but what does science say about what makes us happy, what do you need to start focusing on today in order to achieve your happiness, and what must you be aware of in order to give yourself the best chance of a long, healthy, and happy life? What to Listen For Why is it so difficult for us as humans to determine what makes us happy? AJ explains why reaching milestones in life or attaining your goals does not equate to overall happiness How has technology seemingly put happiness further out of reach? Johnny explains how cognitive biases keep us from achieving true happiness What is “miswanting” and why do we constantly sabotage ourselves by doing it? What is the Harvard Study on Adult Development and how can you use the findings to achieve your own happiness? How are happiness & health connected and what can you start doing today so you don’t lose both? AJ explains why our focus on achievement as a society can be detrimental to our development when we’re young Why are relationships so beneficial to our health and how can you determine whether or not yours are? If you are lonely, why can it be more difficult to find the resources to build the connections science has shown to be so vital to our long term health and happiness? Why is rejection and the handling of it so valuable in today’s society, especially if you don’t want to be lonely and unhappy? What are the physiological benefits of spending time with people you care about? There is an obvious reason reaching your goals or buying the next great thing does not bring you happiness - if only one thing in your life changes, the other 99% of your life is still the same. You can’t change one thing or achieve one thing or buy one thing and think it’s going to improve every other part of your life. Even if you could “upgrade” every part of your environment you’d still be the same person but with different surroundings, so if you’re not happy now, all those upgrades aren’t going to change who you are inside. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Resources from this Episode Episode 738: What Defines Happiness Harvard study, almost 80 years old, has proved that embracing community helps us live longer, and be happier Social Isolation in America: Changes in Core Discussion Networks over Two Decades Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s fair to say that happiness is one of the most important goals we can pursue in life because not much else matters if you’re not deriving some happiness from this journey we are all on - but how do we define happiness, what can we do to improve our overall happiness, and how might we be sabotaging ourselves in the pursuit of it? What to Listen For What is the definition of happiness? What is the difference between contentment and pleasure with how they relate to your pursuit of happiness? How does having meaning in your life weave into your ability to be happy? AJ and Johnny explain the significance of being present and how it demands regular practice in order to make it stick What are the three primary influencing factors in your happiness? How important are the circumstances in which you live when it comes to your overall happiness? Are your genetics the biggest or smallest contributor to our happiness? Why are your mindset and actions the most important factor of happiness even though they’re not the biggest contributing factor? If happiness comes down to leading a good, meaningful life then how do you design such a life to maximize your happiness? What is the Vice-Joy-Dedication Gradient and how does it relate to your ability to find purpose and meaning in life? What do all the successful individuals we look up to have in common and how can you implement it immediately? How can you find meaning in your work if you hate what you do? On average, what percentage of our waking lives do we spend daydreaming and how does it impact our ability to be happy and successful? Attaining and maintaining happiness in life is about much more than the simple joy we feel when we engage in acts and events that bring us pleasure. Much of it comes down to the why behind our actions and goals. If we don’t have a deeper motivation for our day to day lives we can struggle to find happiness in the sometimes seemingly insignificant things we do, like a job you hate but one you need in order to get to the one you want, or suffering through brutal workouts in order to maintain your health and achieve your fitness goals. Always be willing to ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?” until you can get to a point where there is no deeper answer. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Go to squarespace.com/charm for a free trial and use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. GREATS designs classically inspired sneakers for men and women using luxury high quality materials and construction. Go to greats.com Resources from this Episode 736: How to Rewire your Brain for Success | w/ Lisa Wimberger 735: The Best Ways to Rewrite Bad Habits w/ Charles Duhigg Happiness: it’s not just your genes, stupid! Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth So Good They Can't Ignore You by Cal Newport Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You asked and we answered! We took the three highest rated interviews from 2018 and put them into a special New Years Eve episode just for you! We kick it off with the powerhouse David Goggins, the former Navy SEAL, ultramarathon runner, and author of “Can’t Hurt Me.” We think he’s the best voice to listen to when you can’t get your ass out of bed. He has a lot to say about committing to yourself. Next up is our interview with Dr. Steven Hayes, the leading clinical psychologist in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy - which is all about authentically accepting who you are and working on the best parts of you. Dr. Hayes dispels the “boosting self-esteem myth” and then offers a great alternative that helps everyone (including us!) work through life’s challenging moments. Finally, we leave you with the crazy conversation we had with power investor and entrepreneur Oren Klaff. He’s going to take you into the “Croc” brain and explain why it has an iron grip on your behavior in social settings - he’ll even let you know how to use it to your advantage. We loved having you join us this year as the Art of Charm Podcast tried out some new things. Don’t forget to chime in and tell us what YOU want us to explore in 2019. We love your feedback and your questions, so drop us a line at www.theartofhcharm.com/questions. Happy New Year! - AJ, Johnny, and the entire Art of Charm Team A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Netsuite takes growing businesses and organizations to new heights. Get NetSuite’s guide “Crushing the Five Barriers to Growth” when you go to netsuite.com/charm Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Building new habits is typically not as simple as doing something different each day - sometimes we need to rewrite the stories we tell ourselves, and that’s where neurosculpting comes in, but what is neurosculpting? how can we use it to our advantage? and what can we start doing today to begin removing the barriers in our minds that stop us from developing the habits for the success? What to Listen For Lisa tells the story of how her experience with seizures led her to dive headfirst into neurosculpting What is neurosculpting and how can you use Lisa’s methods to develop healthy habits and rewrite the stories in your life that are holding you back from success and happiness? How can one simple act dissipate the stress & tension throughout your body and allow you to roll with the punches of life? What does it mean to “orient to safety” and how can you use it to help prevent failure in building a new habit? How can you train yourself so fear no longer stands in your way? What are the 5 steps to rewriting the stories that are stopping you from building new habits? Lisa explains the best way to develop a morning routine by approaching the bedtime routine first How can you take advantage of neuroplasticity to amplify the reinforcement of new habits? What can you do if building a new habit is encroaching on your partner’s routine and/or expectations? Neurosculpting is a 5-step meditation process developed to take advantage of neuroplasticity, defined as the brain’s ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections to compensate for injury and disease and to adjust activities in response to new situations or to changes in an environment. When it comes to building new habits, you can use neurosculpting to reinforce the building of new patterns in your brain. Using neurosculpting in place of a brute force approach allows you to rewire your brain much faster and more efficiently, giving you more control over your life, happiness, and success. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Netsuite takes growing businesses and organizations to new heights. Get NetSuite’s guide “Crushing the Five Barriers to Growth” when you go to netsuite.com/charm “Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home.” Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! Resources from this Episode “Neurosculpting: A Whole-Brain Approach to Heal Trauma, Rewrite Limiting Beliefs, and Find Wholeness” by Lisa Wimberger “New Beliefs, New Brain: Free Yourself from Stress and Fear” by Lisa Wimberger The Neurosculpting Institute Charles Duhigg | Smarter Faster Better (Episode 552) Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Building a new habit can be difficult if you approach it with the wrong tools and misinformation, but what does the science tell us about forming new habits, what are the right tools you need when it comes to successful habit building, and what can you start doing today to make sure you’re not getting in your own way? What to Listen For Why is the community you surround yourself with so important to the development of new habits and the perpetuation of bad ones? Charles Duhigg explains why standard to-do lists are terrible for productivity and what an effective replacement looks like What is the habit loop and how can you use the knowledge of it to change any habit you want? How can you use the science of small wins to start making changes to your habits immediately? What are some tricks you can use to stay motivated when building a new habit or breaking an old one? How are intentional choices related to motivation when it comes to the psychology of routine and satisfaction? Why is it almost impossible to “break” a habit and what should we do instead if we want to get rid of bad habits? How can you determine the cues of bad habits so you can take them into account and prevent the bad habits from being triggered in the first place? Charles Duhigg explains the one thing ex-smokers do that stops them from relapsing What are mental models and how is our ability to create them directly related to our success in life? Many of us are led to believe the formation of new habits is accomplished through a brute force approach via willpower, aka that it is entirely internal. However, the science behind habit building says otherwise - our external environment and the people around us play a significant role. If you build an environment conducive to success it becomes infinitely easier to develop new habits and replace old ones. This can mean anything from identifying the cues that trigger bad habits and removing them, or replacing the bad habit with a good one. It can also mean surrounding yourself with a community that focuses on the habit you’re trying to build - for example, joining a weekly meetup group for writers instead of relying on your own willpower to sit down and write consistently. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. Safe For Work is an advice show that reminds you that while your office may be crazy, you don’t have to be. Check it out at: https://wondery.com/shows/safe-for-work/ Resources from this Episode "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg “Smart Faster Better” by Charles Duhigg Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Building (or breaking) a new habit can effectively be broken into 3 different phases, each with its own challenge which can prevent you from reaching the next one - but what are the 3 phases, how can awareness of each one assist you, and is a new habit locked in once you reach the 3rd phase? What to Listen For What are the three phases of efficiently building new habits? How long is the “honeymoon” phase of building a new habit and what can you do to ensure you don’t fail immediately after? What is the “fight thru” phase of habit building and how can you use knowledge of it to your advantage? What 2 simple questions can you ask yourself everyday to keep you on track? Why are contingency plans vital to developing and maintaining strong habits? How do you make sure the success of building one habit doesn’t lead you to be lazy when it comes to maintaining it? AJ explains how you can actually revert back through the phases of habit building if you’re not careful and intentional about continuing to work on them Where does self-compassion enter the equation of habit building and how can the lack of it lead you to fail? How can habits impede progress toward your larger goals and what can you do to mitigate the interference? AJ and Johnny explain how to use regular goal setting, intentional novelty, and the celebration of small victories to compound your development of great habits Building new habits is an ongoing process that requires your daily attention and effort in order to succeed. When first starting a new habit it can be easy to get caught up in the immediate rewards of progress - notice by friends and coworkers and changes in mood and feeling to give a couple examples. After the first phase, however, it becomes more challenging and it can be easy to fail unless you set your mind to the process. Finally, once you push through the second phase into the last phase, your job is not over, because now you must work at maintaining the new habit. Set goals to keep challenging yourself, find friends or family to keep you accountable by challenging each other, and introduce novelty in whatever habit you’re trying to maintain to ensure it doesn’t get boring. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Molekule uses nanotechnology to break down pollutants on a molecular level. For $75 off your first order, visit molekule.com and at checkout enter CHARM. Resources from this Episode “Habit Formation: The 21-Day Myth” by Jason Selk Self-esteem is Bullshit (Episode 729) Master Your Mindset with David Goggins (Episode 730) Goals: How to Pick ‘em & Achieve ’em | Chris Tye-Walker (Episode 732) “How Habits Can Get in the Way of Your Goals” by Catherine Benner Habits in Everyday Life: Thought, Emotion, and Action Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Building habits is a gradual and effective process that can forever change your life when done right - but what goes into habits in the first place, what is the most effective way to break/build habits, and how can you use science and self-awareness to successfully build life-changing habits? What to Listen For How are willpower and habits related and how can you use one to take advantage of the other? Why is willpower like a battery and what can you do to make sure you use that energy as effectively as possible? Why do so many people fail at accomplishing their New Years Resolutions within the first week and what can you do to avoid that fate? What do many of us do to set ourselves up for failure from the start? What are the two support systems of willpower and how can you ensure they’re working for you rather than against you? What role does self-compassion play in the successful development of habits and how can you start cultivating it today? What is the optimal number of habits to focus on at one time and how long does it take for each habit to become routine? How often should you practice a new habit in order to solidify it? What time of the day is best for building new habits? What is the one common theme we hear from the majority of our guests when it comes to how they achieved their success? Why is tracking your progress integral in developing new habits? What can you do to outsource your self-awareness and reduce the finite willpower you have to use? The most energy efficient way to go through your day is when the day consists of established routines. In this case, energy is also equivalent to willpower, and the more changes you make to your daily routine, the more willpower it requires. Therefore, the most effective way to start breaking old habits and building new ones is to start small. Understand the routines you use now, and implement one small change based on a habit you want to break or form. Then utilize the tools AJ and Johnny give you to ensure your success. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! HelloFresh are delicious, pre-measured ingredients and simple, chef-made recipes that we deliver to your doorstep every week. For a total of $60 off, that’s $20 off your first 3 boxes, visit HelloFresh.com/charm60 and enter CHARM60. “Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home.” Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! Resources from this Episode Just 8% of People Achieve Their New Year's Resolutions New Years Resolution Statistics The Radish Experiment Self-esteem is Bullshit (Episode 729) Effects of circadian cortisol on the development of a health habit. Goals: How to Pick ‘em & Achieve ’em | Chris Tye-Walker (Episode 732 “Making Habits, Breaking Habits: Why We Do Things, Why We Don’t, and How to Make Any Change Stick” by Jeremy Dean, on the myth of building/breaking habits in 21 days The Power of Accountability (Episode 703) A Theory of Objective Self-Awareness (New York: Academic Press, 1972) Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Physical fitness can play a significant role in rebuilding your confidence, but what all goes into achieving a desired level of fitness, how do you set goals to ensure steady progress, and how does the pursuit of health and fitness improve your life overall? What to Listen For What is Barry’s Bootcamp and is it for you? How are fitness & confidence related and how can you rely on exercise to strengthen your confidence? Why is there no single best diet for everyone and how do you figure out what foods work best for your goals? How important are habits when it comes to working out and what can you do to avoid failure? Chris explains why goal setting is important and how you can set goals conducive to success instead of failure How important is it to have an accountabilibuddy and how can you find one if your friends aren’t interested? What is the value of having a coach versus working out with friends or on your own and how can it stop you from failing? How do you reframe small failures to further motivate you toward your goals rather than allowing them to cascade into falling off the wagon? How do you develop resiliency in the face of strong self-doubt? Achieving your fitness goals - whether that means getting in shape, training for a race, or just feeling healthy - is about more than just spending 30 minutes in the gym a few times a week. First, you must eat food that is conducive to your goals. Are you trying to gain muscle or burn fat? Are you training for a marathon or a powerlifting meet or a bodybuilding competition? How well does your body respond to dairy, sugar, gluten, etc. Know your body and understand the caloric/nutrient requirements of what you’re trying to achieve. Second, you must train in a way that allows you to track your progress. Use a journal to track your workouts and set goals for subsequent workouts. You’re not always going to have incremental progress but the key is to be able to identify a positive trend over time. Third, your habits are crucial to making gains and keeping your sanity. We only have so much willpower in one day and the easier we can make it on ourselves to make the right decisions, the easier it will be for us to hit our goals. Go to bed early. Get enough sleep every night. Prepare your meals ahead of time each week. Reserve alcohol for one night a week or special occasions. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Go to podium.com/charm for 10% off your monthly subscription. Become the obvious choice online. Go to podium dot com slash CHARM to get started and save 10% Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design — even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Resources from this Episode Chris Tye-Walker Chris on Instagram The Tread Series - Use code CHARM to get 20% off! Sweatflix Master Your Mindset with David Goggins (Episode 730) Self-esteem is Bullshit (Episode 729) Steven Hayes, Ph. D. Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As we progress further down the path of technology and electronic communication, digital marketing is playing a bigger role than ever, so what is it, how does it affect you in today’s world, and what can you do to make sure you’re using it to help you instead of hinder you. What to Listen For What makes the present the most disruptive time in human history? Why is it important to develop relationships first and then work on marketing second? How do you find alignment with your customer’s values? What are the three R’s Phillip uses to achieve success in business and politics? What are most people doing wrong in their branding strategies? How do you stand out as someone people should pay attention to? Phillip explains how to improve digital communication and develop rapport using technology How do you deal with friends who respond poorly to your emotional bids? Phillip touches on how important vulnerability is in politics What do you do when someone uses vulnerability to control a conversation? We now live in a world where everyone has a voice and a platform to be heard from. As a result, there is a considerable amount of noise which means you either have to be loud enough to be heard above the noise or your message must be clear and strong enough that it pierces through the noise to reach your audience. Rather than being loud and obnoxious in order to grab attention, you can find the proper alignment between your values and your customer’s values, ensure your branding is on point, and place an emphasis on relationship building instead of just forcing people to listen to what you have to say. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Fire Them Now by Phillip Stutts Phillip Stutts on Twitter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are all capable of more than we think because many of us don’t push ourselves beyond the limit our mind tells us we have - so what does it mean to master your mindset, why is it so beneficial to externalize your insecurities and fears, and how can you change your relationship with suffering in order to live the life you want. What to Listen For Who did David Goggins have to invent in order to change his life and how can you do the same thing right now? What excuse are you likely to make when you listen to stories like David’s and how is it stopping you from living the life you want? How do you flip the switch when you’re having an off-day so you can be ON IT whenever you need it? Why is it crucial to change your relationship with suffering if you want to lead the life you dream of? David Goggins explains what the 40% rule is and how it limits us from achieving our potential Why do you revert to old habits when you start taking steps to change your life and what can you do make lasting changes? David Goggins explains why he declined lucrative offers from the top 5 publishing houses to instead self-publish his book Can’t Hurt Me What do you do when you start working on yourself and the people around you don’t support you? For most of human history, we lived in an environment that pushed us to our physical limits in order to survive. We had to excel at being human and cooperating with other humans in order to ensure each successive generation could continue on. Modern society, however, has decreased the need for that physical capacity and as a result, many of us do not know what it means to push ourselves to the limit and beyond, and the benefits which arise from such a pursuit. It’s time to change that. Pushing yourself physically is not just about exercise and getting sweaty. It’s about returning to what made us human, and to do that you must be willing to embrace pain. You must be willing to develop a positive relationship with suffering. You must be willing to master your mindset. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! GREATS designs classically inspired sneakers for men and women using luxury high quality materials and construction. Save 15% by entering CHARM at checkout at greats.com. Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home.” Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! Resources from this Episode Living With a Seal by Jesse Itzler Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins David on Instagram David on Facebook David on Twitter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Many of us grew up in a world that praised the idea of having high self-esteem - but what exactly is self-esteem, why have we been wrongly focused on it for so long, and what do we need to focus on moving forward? What to Listen For Why is artificially inflating self-esteem dangerous and how can you avoid doing it to yourself and your kids? What is that self critical voice we all hear and how does it affect our self-esteem? What is imposter syndrome and how does artificially inflated self-esteem contribute to it? Dr. Hayes explains the root of the word confidence and why many people who appear confident actually are not How is social media making it difficult for people to be self compassionate and true to themselves? What are the three components of self-compassion and how can you implement them today to improve your confidence and quality of life? Dr. Hayes explains how to strip your inner critic of its power Is there such a thing as too much self-compassion? Why is it important to determine your values and how can they help you navigate through daily life and the biggest challenges we all face? Artificially inflating someone’s self-esteem is never advisable. On one end it can lead to a collapse of the person’s identity the moment he faces significant stress because there is no foundation for that view he holds of himself. On the other end it can lead to arrogance and entitlement when a person expects the world to be handed to her simply because she thinks she’s “the best.” We all face challenges in life that push us to our limits and beyond, so why not equip ourselves with the tools necessary to endure the resulting pain and move forward with our lives? One of those tools is self-compassion, a term not many of you might not be familiar with just yet. There are 3 components to self compassion: (1) be kind to yourself, (2) realize everyone is dealing with these struggles, and (3) be present with what you feel - don’t exaggerate your feeling or play them down. If you can cultivate self-compassion you will accept that your life will not always be rainbows and butterflies, your thoughts and feelings can’t always be positive, and you can be patient with yourself during stressful times.. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home.” Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! When it comes to growing your business, PayPal is your payments partner for today and tomorrow • Visit PayPal.com/Growth to set up a business account today! Resources from this Episode Is Self Compassion More Important Than Self Esteem by Steven Hayes, Ph. D. Alex Banayan Episode The Third Door by Alex Banayan Self-compassion protects against the negative effects of low self-esteem: A longitudinal study in a large adolescent sample by Sarah Marshall Steven Hayes TED Talk Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you want to want to flourish no matter what life throws at you, you must develop a solid foundation of resilience - but what is resilience, why is it so important to our overall happiness and success in life, and how do we make sure we have enough of it to get through the unavoidable blows to our confidence and self-esteem we all take throughout our lives? What to Listen For What three myths do we hear about in every Art of Charm Bootcamp? Johnny touches on why it’s important to never get too comfortable about your own level of confidence Why is a heavy focus on self-esteem dangerous for your confidence and what is the science that backs that up? How does bullying start and what can you do to mitigate it in your children? Why is resiliency more important than self-esteem and what can you do to cultivate resilience in yourself and others? What is the operating manual for running our lives and how do we rewrite it to empower us? What do you need to do before you can start feeling confident? How much of your confidence is determined by your genetics and what does this mean for your ability to build confidence? What two consequences are guaranteed when you step outside of your comfort zone and how can you prepare for them? How do you build a healthy outlook on failure and what can it do for your future potential? What is the proven CAKE equation and how can you use it to work on your confidence every day? Why can coaching help you bring your confidence to a level you didn’t think possible? If your existence in this world was a skyscraper, the beautiful mirror finish would be your self-esteem, the strong internal structure would be your confidence, and the unbreakable foundation would be your resilience. Without the internal support of your confidence, your “shiny” self-esteem is a fragile shell waiting to buckle at the first sign of stress. And building confidence without a solid foundation of resilience is asking for trouble. Something is eventually going to shake your confidence, so why wouldn’t you want a solid foundation in place to ensure you don’t have to rebuild your confidence from the ground up every time life throws another curveball your way? A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Go to podium.com/charm for 10% off your monthly subscription. Become the obvious choice online. Go to podium dot com slash CHARM to get started and save 10% Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. Resources from this Episode Sugar Ray Leonard Episode Does High Self-Esteem Cause Better Performance, Interpersonal Success, Happiness, or Healthier Lifestyles? Some People Are Genetically Wired To Be More Confident Brene Brown Sean Stephenson Dr. Steven Hayes Art of Charm Bootcamp Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Facebook Johnny on Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sugar Ray Leonard is regarded as one of the greatest boxers of all time, but did you know he battled social anxiety and substance abuse during his career? We all face obstacles in life on our individual paths to success, so how can we take a solid inventory of our strengths and weaknesses, surround ourselves with people who support and encourage us, and outwork everyone around us to ensure we achieve the success we want in life regardless of the hand we’ve been dealt? What to Listen For How did Sugar Ray know he was going to win or lose a fight before it even started and how can you apply that knowledge to the challenges in your life? Sugar Ray’s approach his training compared to his competition Why is it important to remain adaptable throughout your professional and personal lives? When did Sugar Ray realize he was hooked on boxing and why was it related to his brother’s broken nose? How life is similar to a boxing match What can we all learn from getting punched in the face? How do you maintain perspective and groundedness when you start seeing success and why is it important to your future success? Sugar Ray discusses his morning routine and why it’s so conducive to increased productivity and focus during the day How did Sugar Ray overcome his social anxiety both inside and outside the ring to become one of the greatest boxers of all time? Why are mentors critical to your success in any line of work? What boxing lessons did Sugar Ray strive to instill in his children and what can we all learn from those lessons? The path to success for anyone is never a straight shot. Often it is plagued with challenges, struggle, blood, sweat, and tears. In addition, we all have weaknesses to contend with as well. However, we can either use the hurdles in our path as excuses for why we can’t finish the race, or we can learn to jump over them. We can let life knock us off our feet and stay there, or we can keep getting back up and take the next punch with a smile. Life is in many ways like a boxing match. We all go through different rounds, we’re not guaranteed any certain number of them, we win some and lose some, and no one will hit you as hard as life does. Stories like that of Sugar Ray exist to inspire us and show us what can be accomplished when your heart is in the right place, you believe in yourself, and you surround yourself with people you can count on to propel you to the top. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home.” Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! Honest guidance to get the right vitamins. For 25% off your first month of personalized Care/of vitamins, visit TakeCareOf.com and enter CHARM. Resources from this Episode Sugar Ray Leonard Sugar Ray Leonard Foundation Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Many of us take listening for granted because we do it all day every day, but did you know there are multiple layers to listening and many of us only focus on one of them - so what does it mean to listen in color versus black and white, how can you vastly improve your listening skills with a few tips you can start using today, and why is effective listening such a powerful skill to have? What to Listen For How can you use silence in conversation to improve your listening skills? What are the four villains of listening and how can you avoid becoming each one? What is the 125-400 rule and why is it so important when it comes to effective communication? What tips can you implement today to become a better listener at work and at home? How can you use body language to improve your listening ability? What does listening for patterns in what people say teach you about what’s important to them? What is the difference between listening with your head and listening with your heart? What are the five levels of listening and which one do 86% of people zero in on? The one question you can use at any networking event to connect with anyone Listening is the most important skill we can develop as humans because we primarily communicate using spoken language. In addition, one could argue the only reason we have made it this far as a species is our ability to work together in large groups, so where would we be if we never developed language and therefore the ability to listen to and understand what others want us to know? Technology has since replaced many of the reasons we initially developed and used spoken language for (oral history, traditions, business, transactions, etc), but it is still the most effective method we have to build deep meaningful relationships with our fellow humans. Also, because of our increasing reliance on technology, attentive listening (aka not getting distracted by our mobile devices every time we hear something vibrate) is not a skill that is being adequately cultivated in the current and subsequent generations. It’s time to change that. A Word From Our Sponsors Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home. Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! When it comes to growing your business, PayPal is your payments partner for today and tomorrow. Visit PayPal.com/Growth to set up a business account today Crafted with an Unbreakable Shell. Free Shipping + Guaranteed for Life. Unbreakable. Visit awaytravel.com/charm to get $20 off with promo code: CHARM. Browse the largest selection of audiobooks anywhere with Audible. Start your 30-day trial today audible.com/charm or text ‘CHARM’ to 500500 – and get your first audiobook for free. Resources from this Episode Oscar Trimboli Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cultivating empathy is crucial in developing solid relationships in our personal and professional lives -- but what exactly is it, how is it different from sympathy, why did Michael Ventura found a company based on it, and what steps can we start taking today to work on it? What to Listen For Why getting it wrong is human and how it can enable you to embrace making mistakes. How does being vulnerable help to motivate those around you? What is the core principle of empathy? The seven archetypes of empathy as described in Michael Ventura’s book, Applied Empathy, and how knowing them can improve your relationships inside and outside the office. What one exercise can you start doing right now to be more present? How a severe injury and Eastern medicine altered the course of Michael Ventura’s life to lead him to found Sub Rosa and writing Applied Empathy. What empathy is NOT. Empathy versus sympathy and why sympathy leads to disconnection instead of connection. How do sociopaths use empathy against us and the red flags to look for. Michael Ventura explains how to cultivate empathy in larger groups. What one tip does Michael Ventura recommend to everyone to start improving their listening skills NOW which he also uses himself? Empathy is the ability to put yourself in the shoes of another person in order to understand WHY that person is feeling a certain way. While it often gets mixed up with sympathy, the effects they have are polar opposites: empathy allows you to connect with others while sympathy leads to a disconnect. Fortunately, once empathy is clearly defined and you understand the variety of examples as well as start taking steps to work on your ability to empathize, you will quickly notice the relationships in your life grow and strengthen. PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR FULL SHOW NOTES AND FEATURED RESOURCES Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! HoneyBook makes it easy for you to book your ideal client faster, more frequently, and with less legwork. Art of Charm listeners can get 50% off the first year of Honeybook with promo code CHARM. Sign up at honeybook.com RXBAR wants to build things the right way. RXBAR believes in the power of transparency, and lets the core ingredients do all the talking with all of them listed on the front of the packaging. For 25% off your first order, visit RXBAR.com/aoc AND ENTER PROMO CODE: AOC AT CHECKOUT. Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. Resources from this Episode Applied Empathy by Michael Ventura https://appliedempathy.com/ Sub Rosa - Michael Ventura’s company https://wearesubrosa.com/ Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ajharbinger Johnny on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/john.dzubak Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Technology in the digital age has made it easier than ever to form new connections and stay in touch with old ones, but it’s also led to increased loneliness and flakiness as people rack up more screen time and less face time, so why is this, why is showing up so important in deepening your connections with others, and what does showing up actually mean? Unfortunately, you may be paying the price of not knowing what that balance looks like if you’re not making a conscious effort to make new connections, deepen your existing ones, and actually show up for the people in your life. What to Listen For: Why is digital communication made to make you feel good and not the person you’re talking to? Why do people flake and how do we overcome that flakiness? How can we deepen the connections we already have? Why do we tend to lose friends over time? The value of getting comfortable saying NO What does “showing up” for your friends actually entail? The tools to turn acquaintances into true connections and salvage friendships that might be drifting away Why is it more important to be there for the defeats rather than the victories? What one thing can you say to someone going through a tough time when you don’t know what to say Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity for everyone — both men and women — to create accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today theartofcharm.com/challenge. Sponsors: Stitch Fix is personal styling for men, women & kids that sends clothing to your door (with free shipping & returns). Get started at stitchfix.com/charm & find clothes you’ll love! Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design — even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Warby Parker has prescription eyeglasses starting at $95 Fast, free shipping both ways. Go to warbyparker.com/aoc to get started with your free at-home trial. Resources from this Episode If you’re wondering why you’ve lost friends in adulthood, this is probably why by Jackie Luo A More Or Less Definitive Guide To Showing Up For Friends by Rachel Wilkerson Miller, Anna Borges, Terri Pous, Gyan Yankovich Jaron Lanier Trust and Betrayal - by Jillian Raftery, based on research by John Gottman Trust and The Marble Jar Video - Brene Brown Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of The Art of Charm, AJ (@AJHarbinger) and Johnny (@AOCJohnny) wrap up September’s month of Emotional Bids. Before answering listener questions, they speak with Andrea Lee (andreajlee.com), an accomplished coach, successful author, and violence prevention expert. From difficult personal conversations to work-related challenges Andrea believes that the RIGHT use of power - “emotional leadership” is crucial as we try to navigate. Without it, we end up with the abuse of power and interactions that can lead to emotional abuse. Andrea draws on her personal experience with difficult conversations from both ends of the spectrum - as both a victim and perpetrator of abuse. She shares what it takes to redeem yourself and rebuild any fractured relationship. Throughout their discussion, AJ, Johnny, and Andrea go in-depth into these moments, discussing the critical turning points in their lives and how they were able to overcome them. And we answer listener questions about emotional bids and personal relationships. WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FOR How can someone break the pattern of abuse in his/her life? Trigger Warning: this episode does contain a discussion about abuse. If this is a trigger for you please be aware. What is the first step to fully understanding a conflict with someone? Saying “yes” is important, but why saying “no” can be even more powerful, and how we can do it with compassion towards others. The Delta model - a 3-point tool that can be universally applied to the toughest conversations. How can you prepare for a conversation you’re afraid of having with a loved one, partner or colleague. A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to Blinkist.com/AOC to start your free trial or get three months off your yearly plan when you join today. MeUndies are The World’s Most Comfortable Undies, 3x softer than cotton, and made from sustainably sourced fiber.To get your 15% off your first pair, free shipping, and a 100% Satisfaction Guarantee, go to: meundies.com/charm HoneyBook makes it easy for you to book your ideal client faster, more frequently, and with less legwork. Art of Charm listeners can get 50% off the first year of Honeybook with promo code CHARM. Sign up at honeybook.com “Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home.” Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! RESOURCES * Andrea J. Lee - https://andreajlee.com * “We Need to Talk: Your Guide to Challenging Business Conversations” by Andrea J. Lee - https://amazon.com * “The Power of the Positive No” by Dr. William Yuri - https://amazon.com KEEP UP WITH THE ART OF CHARM * The Art of Charm Challenge | theartofcharm.com/challenge * The Art of Charm Insiders | theartofcharm.com/insiders * The Art of Charm Bootcamp | theartofcharm.com/personal-bootcamp/ * Best of The Art of Charm Podcast | theartofcharm.com/category/best-of/ * The Art of Charm Toolbox | theartofcharm.com/category/toolbox-episodes SOCIAL MEDIA IG: @theartofcharm | Twitter: @TheArtOfCharm | Facebook: TheArtofCharm Wanna RUN A HALF MARATHON in a Halloween costume w/ AJ & Johnny? Register now at www.runrocknroll.com/los-angeles/ !! ENJOYING WHAT YOU HEAR? Your reviews are essential to us and for those discovering The Art of Charm. Go to theartofcharm.com/mobilereview to share your Art of Charm experience. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode of the Art of Charm, AJ (@AJHarbinger) and Johnny (@AOCJohnny) take emotional bids to the next level by speaking with an expert on validation - one of the most important parts of human connection. That expert is Michael Sorensen, a marketing executive, personal-development junkie, and the author of the best-selling book “I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships. Michael shares his own experiences on the job and in his personal life that led him to writing his book and understanding just how important validation is in creating strong bonds with others. WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FOR At the end of the day, it’s all about relationships. So, why is validation such a great tool for managing the important relationships in your life Where is one of the best places to start fostering good validation skills? What are some examples of something meaningful to say to someone that’s seeking validation? Why being silent can indirectly push someone away from you What is one of the most effective ways to understand someone seeking validation and emotional attention? When do you know it’s the right time to give someone advice? After taking a listen to this episode, take a moment to think of the best ways for you to make connections with those around you. Are you finding yourself opening up or closing off to those who seeking emotional attention from you? By becoming more aware of these hidden opportunities, we can take better advantage of them and create meaningful relationships. A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! eero is the world’s first whole home wifi system that delivers hyper fast, super secure wifi to every room in your home. For free overnight shipping to the US or Canada, visit eero.com and at checkout select overnight shipping then enter CHARM to make it free! Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home. Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! Calm includes guided meditations and Sleep Stories to help you reduce anxiety, lower stress and sleep better. AoC listeners can get 25% off a Calm Premium subscription at calm.com/charm. Get started today at calm.com/charm. Stitch Fix is personal styling for men, women & kids that sends clothing to your door (with free shipping & returns). Get started at stitchfix.com/charm & find clothes you'll love! RESOURCES * Michael Sorensen - www.MichaelSSorensen.com * “I Hear You” Book: https://amazon.com * The Gottman Institute - https://www.gottman.com KEEP UP WITH THE ART OF CHARM * The Art of Charm Challenge | theartofcharm.com/challenge * The Art of Charm Insiders | theartofcharm.com/insiders * The Art of Charm Bootcamp | theartofcharm.com/personal-bootcamp/ * Best of The Art of Charm Podcast | theartofcharm.com/category/best-of/ * The Art of Charm Toolbox | theartofcharm.com/category/toolbox-episodes SOCIAL MEDIA IG: @theartofcharm | Twitter: @TheArtOfCharm | Facebook: TheArtofCharm Wanna RUN A HALF MARATHON in a Halloween costume w/ AJ & Johnny? Register now at www.runrocknroll.com/los-angeles/ !! ENJOYING WHAT YOU HEAR? Your reviews are essential to us and for those discovering The Art of Charm. Go to theartofcharm.com/mobilereview to share your Art of Charm experience. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

AJ (@AJHarbinger) and Johnny (@AOCJohnny) continue the theme of Emotional Bids by discussing practical ways to deepen and strengthen the connections with the people in our lives. Their source for this week’s discussion comes from a Gottman Institute article by Zach Brittle: https://www.gottman.com/blog/turn-toward-instead-of-away/ Whether it’s reciprocating feelings, talking about your day, or even better understanding physical touch, emotional bids help develop human-to-human connection and build long-lasting relationships. WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FOR * How can the use of emotional bids help us make better connections with the people? * What is the best way to react to an emotional bid? * We might not always be able to respond to someone’s emotional bid right away. How can we respond to someone to still show that we care? *What role does humor play in emotional connection? * What’s an example of an emotional bid that can be easily overlooked? * We know that being too vulnerable can often put someone off. What ways can you think of that can create this tension? Johnny and AJ share their own experiences with missing emotional bids over the years. Whether it's getting to know someone for the first time or diving into the deepest parts of a romantic relationship, knowing how to spot an emotional bid and how to react is crucial to creating a true bond with someone we care about. A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design — even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. “Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home.” Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! Art of Charm listeners can get ANY PREMIUM INDOCHINO suit for just $379 + FREE Shipping when entering “CHARM” at checkout. This is 50% off the regular price for a made-to-measure premium suit. Incredible deal for a suit that will fit you better than anything off-the-rack ever could. HoneyBook makes it easy for you to book your ideal client faster, more frequently, and with less legwork. Art of Charm listeners can get 50% off the first year of Honeybook with promo code CHARM. Sign up at honeybook.com RESOURCES * The Ben Franklin Effect - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Franklin_effect * The Gottman Institute - https://www.gottman.com KEEP UP WITH THE ART OF CHARM * The Art of Charm Challenge | theartofcharm.com/challenge * The Art of Charm Insiders | theartofcharm.com/insiders * The Art of Charm Bootcamp | theartofcharm.com/personal-bootcamp/ * Best of The Art of Charm Podcast | theartofcharm.com/category/best-of/ * The Art of Charm Toolbox | theartofcharm.com/category/toolbox-episodes SOCIAL MEDIA IG: @theartofcharm | Twitter: @TheArtOfCharm | Facebook: TheArtofCharm Wanna RUN A HALF MARATHON in a Halloween costume w/ AJ & Johnny? Register now at www.runrocknroll.com/los-angeles/ !! ENJOYING WHAT YOU HEAR? Your reviews are essential to us and for those discovering The Art of Charm. Go to theartofcharm.com/mobilereview to share your Art of Charm experience. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, AJ and Johnny speak on the importance of “emotional bids,” and how to successfully identify and respond to them to create a deeper connection with the people around you. We start with a look at the clinical researcher, Dr. John Gottman and the study he conducted that helped define what an emotional bid is and why it is so important. Then, AJ and Johnny describe how we can positively or negatively respond to a whole array of emotional bids – and how that can make or break a relationship. We also learn how you don’t have to tell all of your deepest and darkest secrets to feel like someone truly understands you. WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FOR * What is the simplest way to show vulnerability to someone we’re trying to connect with? * Are emotional bids always easy to spot? * How can you be more actively present in your relationships? * In the moments after you put down your phone, are you truly disconnected from it? * What is “turning towards”, and how can you create more of these positive interactions in your life? * What is one of the most important ways to connect yourself to someone else’s emotional bid? NOTES ON DR. JOHN GOTTMAN By watching a couple interact for just 3 minutes, Dr. John Gottman could predict with up to 94 percent certainty whether the couple would eventually separate, remain unhappy, or continue as a happily couple for several years. AJ and Johnny share examples of their own lives to better understand how vital emotional bids are in connecting with others and in creating value in a relationship. A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Search free scholarships, browse course reviews, get 24/7 study help and rent textbooks for a fraction of the cost of your bookstore – all in one big education-redefining student hub. For $5 off your first month’s subscription, go to chegg.com/charm and use promo code CHARM Check out our bootcamp page to learn about the Art of Charm’s personal development training! The Art of Charm Bootcamp / theartofcharm.com/personal-bootcamp RESOURCES Dr. John Gottman’s 1999 study on couples www.gottman.com/about/research/couples/ KEEP UP WITH THE ART OF CHARM * The Art of Charm Challenge | theartofcharm.com/challenge * The Art of Charm Insiders | theartofcharm.com/insiders * The Art of Charm Bootcamp | theartofcharm.com/personal-bootcamp/ * Best of The Art of Charm Podcast | theartofcharm.com/category/best-of/ * The Art of Charm Toolbox | theartofcharm.com/category/toolbox-episodes SOCIAL MEDIA IG: @theartofcharm | Twitter: @TheArtOfCharm | Facebook: TheArtofCharm Wanna RUN A HALF MARATHON in a Halloween costume w/ AJ & Johnny? Register now at www.runrocknroll.com/los-angeles/ !! ENJOYING WHAT YOU HEAR? Your reviews are essential to us and for those discovering The Art of Charm. Go to theartofcharm.com/mobilereview to share your Art of Charm experience. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Christopher “Drama” Pfaff (@drama) is an entrepreneur, producer, and reality TV star. He is best known for his roles in the MTV reality shows “Rob and Big” and “Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory”. In addition, he has founded “Young & Reckless Clothing” as well a music production company and a podcast, “Short Story Long”. In this episode, AJ and Johnny ask Drama about his methods for overcoming social anxiety and how to reset people’s first impressions. and how to take advantage of opportunities to expand upon them to create your own entrepreneurial endeavors. WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FOR How can you effectively get over social anxiety? After hearing about how Drama had the courage to skip college entirely and take a chance on LA, how can you transform a burning desire into purposeful action? One of Drama’s biggest tips: Don’t ever be afraid to ask! You never know who will say yes. How can you take this mentality into your life to find success in the career and dating world? What’s one of the best questions to ask yourself if you truly want to make an impact on the world? How do you create a day where you’re on the offense in your work life instead of the defense? How do you not seize up during conversations? How do you resist from taking charge over a room? How can you actively create adventures in your life? Through practice, courage, and just doing it, we learn how to create change in our lives and foster a connection with the people around us. This formula is incredibly important to build the foundation of The Art of Charm through each and every bootcamp. A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. Browse the largest selection of audiobooks anywhere with Audible. Start your 30-day trial today audible.com/charm or text ‘CHARM’ to 500500 - and get your first audiobook for free. Stitch Fix is personal styling for men, women & kids that sends clothing to your door (with free shipping & returns). Get started at stitchfix.com/charm & find clothes you'll love! Check out our bootcamp page to learn about the Art of Charm’s personal development training! The Art of Charm Bootcamp Resources “Short Story Long” podcast by Drama Keep up with The Art of Charm The Art of Charm Challenge The Art of Charm Insiders The Art of Charm Bootcamp Best of The Art of Charm Podcast The Art of Charm Toolbox On social media: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook Want to RUN A HALF MARATHON in your Halloween costume with AJ and Johnny in LA? Register now! Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, AJ and Johnny interview Alex Banayan (@AlexBanayan), author of “The Third Door” about his 7-year journey to interview some of the most successful people in the world. Alex shares detail about his struggles to reach his dream and the personal social barriers he had to break down to get there. Alex also shares advice, wisdom, and tricks of the trade from the people he interviewed, Bill Gates, Tim Ferriss, Larry King, and many more. What To Listen Out For What is the “third door”, and how can you create one in your life? Having a great working relationship with your own fear and weakness can become a powerful tool to stop fighting with your insecurities, and to instead embrace them. In what way can you become more assured of yourself by letting go? As Larry King told Alex, technology has changed but people haven’t. How can you break through the barriers of technology to create a real connection with someone? Where do you see “the flinch” taking over in your life? As Alex can attest to, Tim Ferriss teaches us that persistence is not always going to get us what we want. What are a few key insights to be sure we don’t scare away the person we’re trying to get in front of? What’s a great way to create a relationship organically with someone online? AJ and Johnny discuss with Alex the parallels between their experiences and what they’ve learned through teaching at the AoC Bootcamp. A Word From Our Sponsors! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design — even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. MeUndies are The World’s Most Comfortable Undies, 3x softer than cotton, and made from sustainably sourced fiber. To get your 15% off your first pair, free shipping, and a 100% Satisfaction Guarantee, go to: meundies.com/charm BAKblade 2.0 – a DIY back shaver includes a curved ergonomic handle to reach all those hard-to-reach areas. Use discount code CHARM20 for 20% off youer first order over $30 on bakblade.com. Check out our bootcamp page to learn about the Art of Charm’s personal training! The Art of Charm Bootcamp Resources The Third Door, written by Alex Banayan When Things Fall Apart, by Pema Chödrön Keep up with The Art of Charm The Art of Charm Challenge The Art of Charm Insiders The Art of Charm Bootcamp Best of The Art of Charm Podcast The Art of Charm Toolbox On social media: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook Want to RUN A HALF MARATHON in your Halloween costume with AJ and Johnny in LA? Register now! Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you take a conversation to the next level and create real connection? In this episode of The Art of Charm podcast, AJ and Johnny explain 8 fundamental steps to develop a relationship beyond just a brief interaction with a stranger on the train, scoring a number at a bar, or a handshake at a business conference. Learn the social cues, the mental tricks, and the right body language to tee up a compelling conversation. The 8 Steps Take from the following article - 8 Insanely Effective Ways to Connect with Anyone You Meet 1. PAY ATTENTION - It’s simple but so easy to overlook. *What are a few ways for you to lock into a conversation? 2. SEEK FEEDBACK - From trusted friends to tell you the truth on what you can improve on. *Can you think of someone who you can talk to about this? Call them tonight! 3. ASK QUESTIONS - What’s everyone’s favorite topic? Encourage people to talk about themselves and share their experiences with you to create understanding. *How can you show someone your genuine interest in who they are? 4. REMEMBER YOUR NAME - What’s the best way to remember someone’s name and how can you use these tools during your next night out? 5. DON’T PRETEND YOU KNOW EVERYTHING - It’s the biggest turn-off of them all! *In fact, what’s one of the best ways to create a seamless and empathetic connection to turn someone one and create a connect? 6. CARE ABOUT OTHERS about others! Show appreciation for the people around you and let that bleed over into all areas of your life. *How can you create grateful positivity to spread over into your environment? 7. SEE A ROOM FULL OF FRIENDS - Visualize that at your next outing — treat no one like a stranger. *What’s one of the reactions that we have by becoming uncomfortable in a new environment? **REMEMBER: This takes practice! If you expect everyone to treat you like a friend, you might set too high of an expectation, so take it in stride. 8. CONNECT IN PERSON. As much as we might want to, we can’t truly connect online! But it’s easy to be afraid of the risk and rejection of meeting in person. *In what ways can you pivot your body language to show true interest to someone you’re meeting in person? This was a big episode, but don’t get overwhelmed! Focus on finding that one genuine friend and go from there. And remember: Humans are naturally bad at active listening, so don’t beat yourself up if you find yourself struggling along the way. Through these podcasts, we strive to give you daily hacks for your life that you can use to overcome the whims of your primitive mind and truly connect with the people around you! Check out our bootcamp page to learn about the Art of Charm’s personal training! The Art of Charm Bootcamp Resources Articles from this episode! 8 Insanely Effective Ways to Connect with Anyone You Meet - “Lifehack” How to Make Friends, According to Science - “The Atlantic” Keep up with The Art of Charm The Art of Charm Challenge The Art of Charm Insiders The Art of Charm Bootcamp Best of The Art of Charm Podcast The Art of Charm Toolbox On social media: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook Want to RUN A HALF MARATHON in your Halloween costume with AJ and Johnny in LA? Register now! Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, AJ and Johnny share stories of how they’ve built connections with others and improved upon them — then explore them from a scientific perspective. In their quest to reach the perfect balance, they talk about how vital opening up the door of introduction is without prying into someone’s life or personal space. AJ and Johnny explain the power of the invite, creating an emotional connection and ultimately helping us all understand the kind of person we’re interested in. As best stated by Dr. Jack Shafer (Ep #712), “The sense of closeness increases if the disclosures are emotional rather than factual.” CHEAT SHEET We live in a time when technology gives us instant satisfaction for almost everything: food, transportation, running errands, dating, keeping track of… well, almost everything! It’s easy to expect connections to be created just as instantaneously. We hit a button and, BAM, a new best friend. But, it rarely happens that way. Why? How come? How does technology change our assumptions and expectations when interacting with someone new? What’s the best way to instantly connect with a stranger? Trick question: you don't. Connection takes time. Think of this: Your next business mentor, romantic interest or long-term friend may be sitting right next to you! And how would you know? These moments may be passing you by in your everyday life? What practical ways can you give more people the ability to connect on an emotional level with you? By showing emotion, mirroring their body language. What are emotional bids and how can we use these to understand others? Emotional bids are humor/play/affection, and they’re used to hook the other person into also sharing emotion. It’s the emotion that creates a connection. AJ and Johnny refer back to their interview with Dr. Jeffrey Hall (our guest on AOC podcast #712) about how long it can take to move from acquaintance to true friend. Where in your daily interactions can you apply this patience as you get to know someone? Example: By trying not to push myself onto the new girl at the coffee shop. She seems nice, but I don’t know her well enough. A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR! Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode of The Art of Charm we are speaking with investor, venture capitalist, and author—Oren Klaff. Oren has raised over $2 billion by understanding the prehistoric part of our brain (the “croc-brain”). Tune in to this episode to hear Oren explain how this applies to your social skills and sales pitch, and why what’s required in the boardroom is no different than what’s required in real life. CHEAT SHEET What are the 3 priorities of a “croc brain?” What is confirmatory diligence and how do you build from it? How does the human mind automatically view someone in a less powerful position? How do you find yourself using neuro-financing in your life with your friends and aspirations? When do you find yourself finding value only “in what you’ve paid for”? In what ways do you find yourself seeking rapport before expressing yourself freely? Think of a time when you gave power to others. What was that moment like? Talkspace has over 2,000 licensed therapists who are experienced in addressing life challenges we all face. To match with a perfect therapist for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy, go to talkspace.com/charm, and use the code CHARM to get $45 off your first month and show your support for this show. RXBAR wants to build things the right way. RXBAR believes in the power of transparency, and lets the core ingredients do all the talking with all of them listed on the front of the packaging. For 25% off your first order, visit RXBAR.com/aoc AND ENTER PROMO CODE: AOC AT CHECKOUT. Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to Blinkist.com/AOC to start your free trial or get three months off your yearly plan when you join today. MeUndies are The World's Most Comfortable Undies, 3x softer than cotton, and made from sustainably sourced fiber.To get your 15% off your first pair, free shipping, and a 100% Satisfaction Guarantee, go to: meundies.com/charm eero is the world's first whole home wifi system that delivers hyper fast, super secure wifi to every room in your home. For free overnight shipping to the US or Canada, visit eero.com and at checkout select overnight shipping then enter CHARM to make it free! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our guest is former FBI Special Agent, author, and professor – Dr. Jack Schafer. In the past, Dr. Schafer has developed spy recruitment techniques, interviewed terrorists, and trained agents in the art of interrogation and persuasion. Today, he shares strategies, techniques, and tools you can employ to get people to like you for a minute or a lifetime. CHEAT SHEET What is the friendship formula and how does it increase other people’s ability to like you? What are three “friend signals” you can practice to project likeability? What signals can you look for to know whether or not good rapport has been established? What is a “curiosity hook,” and how can you use it to attract others with common interests? If the golden rule of friendship is to make people feel good about themselves, how do you go about doing that? How do you use empathic statements to listen more, talk less, and still gain interest in the conversation? Why learning the C.A.R.E acronym is important to ensure you are maintaining focus on others – and not yourself. This episode is full of tools for becoming a more likable person, and it’s important to remember the words of Dr. Schafer when applying them in our daily lives: “No one tool works for all circumstances, but for all circumstances, there is a tool that works. And it’s the time and circumstance that determine what tool to use.” Talkspace has over 2,000 licensed therapists who are experienced in addressing life challenges we all face. To match with a perfect therapist for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy, go to talkspace.com/charm, and use the code CHARM to get $45 off your first month and show your support for this show. Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design — even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Resources The Like Switch by Dr. Jack Schafer Dr. Schafer’s Blog in Psychology Today Keep up with The Art of Charm The Art of Charm Challenge The Art of Charm Insiders The Art of Charm Bootcamp Best of The Art of Charm Podcast The Art of Charm Toolbox On social media: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience. We tried something new with show notes this week. Did you notice the condensed format? Let us know what you think here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“There are no strangers here, only friends you haven’t met yet.” – William Butler Think about it – at one point in time everyone in our lives was a stranger – even our closest friend. Whether we are trying to strike up a conversation at a networking event, meeting someone at a bar, or just talking to your barista, the art of talking to strangers comes alive every day. On today’s episode, we aren’t just discussing how to talk to strangers, but why doing so can improve our lives and increase our happiness. The Cheat Sheet How can we use the F-E-A-R acronym to help define the types of fear fueling our anxieties? 10:47 Fusion 11:11 Expectations 19:26 Avoidance 30:48 Remoteness 34:47 What do Silicon Valley CEOs know about the influence of technology and connection? 13:17 Why is talking to strangers essential to growing our personal and professional networks? 37:46 How does talking to strangers bring out the best in us? 47:00 Could simply saying hello be the most underrated icebreaker? 53:57 “Most people aren’t going to give you a no, they’re going to respond to a hello” – AJ Harbinger If you want to be first to know what’s coming beyond the podcast – go to TheArtofCharm.com/Insiders to become an AoC Insider. Any new programs, events, challenges and even give-a-ways will go to our AoC Insiders first. SPOILER ALERT: We’re just weeks away from our first big announcement! Talkspace has over 2,000 licensed therapists who are experienced in addressing life challenges we all face. To match with a perfect therapist for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy, go to talkspace.com/charm, and use the code CHARM to get $45 off your first month and show your support for this show. Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial. Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZipRecruiter will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to Blinkist.com/AOC to start your free trial or get three months off your yearly plan when you join today. Resources AoC Episode 710 - The Art of Breaking the Ice The Happiness Trap by Dr. Russ Harris “Hello Stranger” by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton “How to Talk to Strangers” by Kio Stark “Why You Should Talk to Strangers” TedTalk by Kio Stark When Strangers Meet TedBook by Kio Stark Keep up with The Art of Charm The Art of Charm Insiders Best of The Art of Charm Podcast The Art of Charm Toolbox On social media: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience. We tried something new with show notes this week. Do you like the condensed format? Let us know what you think here! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode kicks off The Art of Charm’s series on Breaking the Ice. After learning The Art of the First Impression - it’s time to dig into how to start engaging conversations that genuinely capture the other person’s interest. AJ and Johnny walk us through how to devise a strategic plan to break the ice that we can practice and quiet self-doubt and anxious thoughts. Beyond the social science, you’ll get to hear how AJ broke the ice with his girlfriend Amy, and how Johnny’s father broke the ice with unsuspecting hikers on the trail. Cheat Sheet Break the ice with banter - and no, we don’t mean a corny one liner Learn how to ask a better question Understand the importance of listening - and not just hearing Take away a simple “Conversation Formula” And more! If you find yourself with questions, reach out! Tag us on social media @theartofcharm or leave us a voicemail at 1-855-ART-OF-CHARM. At the end of the month, we’ll be answering your questions on air with guest Chris Williams. PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR FULL SHOW NOTES AND FEATURED RESOURCES! Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-art-of-breaking-the-ice-episode-710 If you want to be first to know what’s coming beyond the podcast - go to TheArtofCharm.com/Insiders to become an AoC Insider. Any new programs, events, challenges and even give-a-ways will go to our AoC Insiders first. SPOILER ALERT: We’re just weeks away from our first big announcement! Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to keep your schedule straight. The AoC Family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times longer than the standard trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week’s Q&A Episode wraps up our series on first impressions, and dive into conversation about style and the art of the first impression with two style experts. LA Based fashion expert and stylist Melissa Chataigne & Real Men Real Style Founder - Antonio Centeno. We also answer YOUR questions on first impressions. CHEAT SHEET How can you create a style that is authentic to reflect your personal brand? How can style increase your confidence? Why is it important to make a powerful first impression online and off? What are some tips and tricks to take the stress out of shopping? PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR FULL SHOW NOTES AND FEATURED RESOURCES! Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-qa-the-art-of-style-episode-709 Join our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrates your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here. This week, Art of Charm listeners can get ANY Premium Indochino suit for just $379 + FREE Shipping when entering “CHARM” at checkout. This is 50% off the regular price for a made-to-measure premium suit. Incredible deal for a suit that will fit you better than anything off-the-rack ever could. BAKblade 2.0 - a DIY back shaver includes a curved ergonomic handle to reach all those hard-to-reach areas. Use discount code CHARM20 for 20% on all orders over $30. Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode The Art of Charm is honored to welcome back Jesse Itzler. His first podcast ever was The Art of Charm - and in today’s episode we catch up with him to learn what he’s added to his “life resumé” since we saw him last. Some of our favorite life highlights include: signing a record deal, co-founding a private jet company, a beverage company, he wrote a New York Times Best Seller and he’s just released his latest book, Living With The Monks: What Turning Off My Phone Taught Me About Happiness. Tune in to today’s episode to learn more about Jesse’s journey, and how first impressions and his unique mindset has enabled his unique successes. The Cheat Sheet What happens when you start to value the journey more than the outcome? How does thinking about mortality help you channel self-confidence? Why is Jesse more concerned about maximizing potential than being happy? How does Jesse deal with negative self-talk? How is your life resumé more valuable than your professional resumé? And so much more… Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-art-of-living-with-jesse-itzler-episode-708 Want to learn more? Join our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whether we’re meeting someone for the first time or trying to elevate ourselves to that next level—body language plays an integral part in our presentation of self. Listen to this episode to learn the importance of body language in our social interactions, and five simple signals you can focus on to improve your first impression. The Cheat Sheet What are the 5 signals of body language that we can control? How does our environment choose our body language without us even knowing? What happens when your body language doesn’t align with your words? How can we actually control our emotions by controlling our body language? And so much more… Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-5-signals-of-body-language-707 Want to learn more? Join our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here. Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re not sure why people aren’t responding to us. We think we’re good at reading people. On today’s episode, we are discussing how to make the best first impression. Whether you’re a CEO trying to better connect with your employees, an introvert wishing to project a bit more confidence, or maybe you judge people the second you see them coming (ps., they see you too) this conversation will provide insights you can apply to your goal. The Cheat Sheet What are the 4 layers of first impressions? Why is focusing on other people’s body language a fool’s errand? How do we reverse our primal instinct to mirror other people’s behaviors? What was AJ’s first impression of Johnny, and vice versa? Why is our gut based in fear and how do we ignore its voice? And so much more… Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-art-of-first-impression-706/ Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Life is improv. There is no script, no directors, no instruction manual for how to be successful. It’s all improvised. So to be good at life, you have to be good at improv. Erin and Suzanne are professional comedic improvisers here in Los Angeles and coaches at The Art of Charm. Listen to today’s episode to hear how they approach the art of improvisation, ]and how we can inject these principles into our day-to-day lives! The Cheat Sheet: What is improvisational comedy and how does it apply to our lives? Why do perfectionists and control freaks need to embrace the unknown? How do the principles of improvisation translate to your professional and personal lives? Why does improvisational comedy having nothing to do with being funny? And much much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-art-of-improv-705/ Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our perception of reality is dependent on our thoughts. So if our thoughts are infected, then our lives will be too. That’s why on today’s episode of The Art of Charm we are discussing the 10 most common “cognitive distortions”; those irrational and often untrue thoughts that heavily influence our beliefs, decision-making and happiness. Tune in to today’s episode to learn the defense you can implement to avoid your mind’s tricks. The Cheat Sheet How do cognitive distortions wall you off from discomfort? Why does black-and-white thinking leave no room for growth? What is magnification and why does it blind us? When should we realize we’re shining the spotlight too much on ourselves? And much more… Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-cognitive-distortions-704/ Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all have goals and aspirations, but how many of us take the time to share and vocalize those goals or support our friends as they try to achieve their goals? On today’s episode, we are discussing the importance of accountability. We, at The Art of Charm, often call accountability the “cheat code to self-development.” When you start to integrate others into your personal journey, the social pressure hacks your motivation centers, sending you on the fast track to achieving your goals. The Cheat Sheet: What are the 3 rungs of accountability? How does accountability reinforce ownership of a goal? What are ‘accountabilibuddies’ and how do we choose them? How does tracking your goals foster momentum? Are there good and bad goals to set? What is a S.M.A.R.T. goal? And much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-power-of-accountability-episode-703 Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On last week’s episode, we dove deep into life’s most brutal truths. This week, we are continuing the conversation with Part 2, where we examine more of the complicated truths we run away from. Here is what we cover: The Cheat Sheet: How does emotional reactivity set you up for failure? What is value and how does it relate to time and relationships? Why is the hamster wheel of achievement a flawed model for happiness? What are people’s most common deathbed regrets? How does celebrating the small wins help you achieve the big victories? And so much more.... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-brutal-truths-part-2-episode-702 Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all want attention, approval, and acceptance. But we can’t expect others to give us that if we don’t approve of ourselves. Most often, the reason we struggle with self-acceptance is because we are running away from the brutal truths of life. In today’s episode of The Art of Charm, we run the other way, towards those these uncomfortable facts, to unpack and examine them. From understanding that nobody actually cares about you to accepting the finality of death, this episode leaves no room for the fearful. Here are some of the questions we explore. The Cheat Sheet: What are the some of the brutal truths of life that we don’t want to think about? How does accepting the finality of death make you feel more free? Why do men run away from their emotions instead of embracing them? How does technology corrupt our ability to enjoy intimacy? How is the term ‘adulting’ just a cover-up for your aversion to responsibility? And so much more… Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-brutal-truths-part1-701/ Casper is the award-winning mattress w/ 20,000 5-star reviews. Go to casper.com/charm and use "CHARM" at checkout for $50 towards your next mattress.  Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you a perfectionist? Or, are you just using that term to justify inaction? Tune into this episode of The Art of Charm to learn what’s at the root of perfectionism, and why we use a myth to cover up our fear of failure. The Cheat Sheet: What is the definition of perfectionism and why is that a bad thing? How is procrastination the opposite of perfectionism? What happens when you wear perfectionism as a badge of honor? How do our smartphones and other technologies reward perfectionism? How does viewing failure as exciting and not something to be afraid of cure perfectionism? And so much more… Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-podcast-the-…sm-episode-700-2/ Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Last week we learned all about AoC co-host Johnny Dzubak (@dzubak). This week, we’re turning the spotlight around to hear the life story of AJ. How did he go from science wiz to football player? And then from cancer biologist to Art of Charm co-founder? Tune in to this episode to hear the story behind your co-host’s unique trajectory. The Cheat Sheet: Who is AJ Harbinger? How did navigating difficult family dynamics shape AJ’s emotional fingerprint? What did facing rejection from girls teach AJ about confronting fear? What does a PhD student do when something else is calling? How was The Art of Charm formed? And so much more… Full show notes at  https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-podcast-johnny-interviews-aj-episode-699 Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter ART OF CHARM in the How You Heard About Us section. HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Johnny Dzubak (@dzubak) grew up in Greensburg, PA, honed his musical chops in Chapel Hill, NC, and now runs The Art of Charm in Los Angeles, CA with AJ. But how did he get from there to here? Listen while Johnny shares his story. The Cheat Sheet: Who is Johnny Dzubak? What is The Rust Belt Scowl? What did musical aspirations teach Johnny about social dynamics? How did Johnny and AJ meet and really become friends? Does Johnny consider himself an introvert or an extrovert? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-podcast-aj-interviews-johnny-episode-698/ Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter ART OF CHARM in the How You Heard About Us section. HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices