The guys discuss why it’s extremely dangerous to have a mole on your face in an Amsterdam airport, when helping to keep someone’s tortoise dry can be very lucrative, and how catastrophic it is to be mildly deaf with a lack of friends at an air show. 

The guys discuss how military grade clean sidewalks could be banned in this country at any time, how it only took 7” for an Indian man to capture a world record, and why towing cars and preventing stab wounds to the groin are most important when choosing the proper pants.

The guys discuss how office buildings in Norway have posted speed limits in the hallways, when spending $1,000,000 on a property still won’t get you a basement, and why a $400 loophole is guaranteed to destroy your German “warehouse”. 

The guys discuss why a third comma is necessary to summon a genie, when a total disregard for your chestnuts can lead to championships, and how a magical pill can make chili night more romantic. 

The guys discuss why an uncut whopper with mayo can get you arrested, when a $12 an hour career change means you’ll never be far from the beach, and how  it’s entirely possible to fight an entire war on your lunch break. 

The guys discuss why an unverified “Code 3” will get a hero banned from retail establishments, what the two most essential items to keep fresh in Tupperware are to properly welcome home a soldier from war, and when sleeping with the warden’s sister while coaching kids soccer can’t prevent a collect call from “My Bad”. 

The guys discuss how and uncomfortable doctor undoubtedly ruined medicine for generations to come, when being sarcastically honest on a job application can super-size your career, and why an aggressive goldfish named Larry might never be found. 

The guys discuss when extensive eye contact can destroy an entire restaurant, why it is imperative to list your address and full daily itinerary when attempting to find your lost  house keys, and how 260 miles of tandem nudity is worth approximately $6,000.00 worth of self confidence. 

The guys discuss why it’s so important to order your wedding album in paperback, how it’s not insulting to guess a woman’s age if you use a 20 year window, and when it’s necessary to specify what is NOT to be your eternal nickname before you die in a hole. 

The guys discuss how autocorrect can totally impede an entire canine search party, why a bedazzled butter dish will totally clash with your leftover soufflé, and when a four egg omelette can cost a whopping $10,000. 

The guys discuss how to Target the right sultry stuffed snowman for good time, why having one kidney and limited vacation days always results in a career change, and when ONE strike, ZERO balls, and well manicured neck beard makes you royalty.

The guys discuss why it's so important to hide your laughter when strange toddlers get injured, how landscapers cannot be held accountable to mow while they’re mourning, and when you cannot find an old person in a room full of 48 year old people. 

The guys discuss when a notary is necessary to buy booze, why it’s plausible to get robbed by 3 out of every 4 people while on a spiritual retreat, and how Damon believes he could be the “king of the jungle” if given a fair fight. 

The guys discuss exactly what is the best invention to keep your apples and frying pans from falling under your couch,  how French business students can quench your thirst and yet still leave you sticky, and why a 2014 Hyundai Genesis guarantees you both a good time and a settlement. 

The guys discuss how most panda cubs can be both discarded and delicious, when the child delivering a brand new moonstone rock to your door is not covered by the $4.00 purchase protection, and why it’s imperative that you take your bike with you to the top of Mt. Everest so you don’t have to walk back home to Sweden. 

The guys discuss how to measure the bookcase-to-beer ratio properly while bartering, when porch pirating a big screen tv results in extreme frustration and disappointment unless you’re into cardio, and how the magic of four wheel drive has enabled the disabled to enjoy majestic views.

The guys discuss what cologne is the most dangerous to wear within 2,640 feet of big cats, how a SWAT Team souvenir is merely a down payment on a new front door, and why it’s necessary to cancel your flight when the pilot pulls up in Ford Focus. 

The guys discuss when infidelity can turn deadly if you refuse to look up, how a slow friend is not to be used as a speed bump when running from a bear, and why an overworked robot who’s never invited to happy hour should be denied access to stairwells. 

The guys discuss how according to Instagram it’s “nearly” impossible to fit two dozen contact lenses in your eyes, why a 30 minute bathroom break on your first day will result in a coworker kicking the door in, and when 17 cans of stolen Pringles and a getaway bike will get you a six month jail sentence. 

The guys discuss why the proper sneaker/ski mask selection is so important while “working” naked, when “taking a bite out of crime” still doesn’t constitute owning a grenade launcher, and how “hump enhancement” all but guarantees your camel will be disqualified from competition. 

The guys discuss when an expensive car accident necessitates canceling the family barbecue, why holding a horse above your head while looking a mile in both directions makes you irresistible to the ladies, and how mislabeled exercise equipment immediately becomes delicious to a koala bear. 

The guys discuss how if you wear the same underwear from your 16th birthday until the day you die you will be a billionaire, when a bear will travel 125 miles just to destroy your Honda if he hates you enough, and why kindergarten drop off can be the most imperative step to becoming a successful tech magnate. 

The guys discuss why Father’s Day shopping is never complete without a trip to an avian establishment, when it’s absolutely imperative to sleep in gloves on a commercial flight, and how terrible aim lead to the creation of an infamous  list of records. 

The guys discuss how timing is everything when picking up 80lbs of free frozen soup, why any novel read by a Russian scientist in Antarctica instantly becomes a murder mystery, and when a sketch of a Mets game can automatically exonerate the defendant. 

The guys discuss why it’s imperative you never leave your “round disks of concrete” around Swedish chimps, how being bald leads to a much greater chance of reptilian concussions, and when enjoying a premature bear kabob triggers brain worms. 

The guys discuss when is the best time to weed whack to prevent losing your tank, how rattlesnakes are completely indifferent when it comes to metal poles and a boot, and why becoming a lumberjack can only help your odds of eventually becoming an obstetrician. 

The guys discuss how $0.15 used to get your baby a ride on the mail truck, what are the absolute two most important things to protect when you’re hired as a hit man by an estranged husband, and why you should always bring a picnic basket to the pound when attempting to adopt a puppy in China. 

The guys discuss why you’d never hug a Siberian bear hunter goodbye when he leaves, how an Asian mouse statue in Russia serves as a reminder of lives lost, and when even a plexiglass fortified meth store can’t bring your stepbrother back. 

The guys discuss when a $35 t-shirt and front row seats can’t guarantee a laugh, how buying a gorilla at a Halloween party will get you prison time, and why a hot glue gun and a dream is detrimental to the battery industry. 

The guys discuss when a pizza place is “kinda closed” right now, how when a wife misses her husband (6 times) it results in a huge headache, and why you should never prematurely terminate a hunt for lost chop sticks. 

The guys discuss how lack of regular physical exertion can lead to a trifecta of near death experiences, when a trip to Canada can get you in an ambulance and the Guinness World Record Book, and why Coca-Cola and endless hams leads to gator obesity. 

The guys discuss exactly what is the most important item to pack when skydiving, why having an opinion while working retail in Scotland requires wearing a helmet, and how if 2 sailors can scrape up a sign no title is necessary to transfer ownership of a WWII submarine. 

The guys discuss why all Mountain Dew should be opened by day 29, how owning a boat directly relates to an endless supply of free goats, and when a “First Name” salutation assures an effective recruitment campaign. 

The guys discuss how to enjoy a meal on an unstable surface, when violating a statue makes you fertile, and why a brown notebook can literally halt the waffle distribution in Tennessee. 

The guys discuss how the calendar can dictate entertainment, why it’s important to jump ahead almost an hour today, and when you realize you’ve been had knowing you sometimes just gotta sing along. 

The guys discuss how smoking in birdcages is next to impossible yet eating a sandwich is not, why being a healthy Frolfer makes you way more popular during wedding season, and when removing your wide-brimmed hat assures you a free fifty pound Tarpon.

The guys discuss how Damon’s saved soul qualifies him as a hero, when “six to a stick” is the only acceptable measurement for a green coaster on your table, and why turtle tunnels are essential in preventing train derailment.  

The discuss how flexible scheduling only guarantees frustration and not employment, why they will never put ATMs in funeral homes,  and when a dog tossed over the fence to a polar bear will definitely be be caught with left hand and get you free admission. 

The guys discuss how  a pizza party makes every bank robbery more memorable, why swimming with pants on is imperative when you have a shellfish allergy, and when it’s justified to shoot a bear with an “alleged” drug problem. 

The guys discuss what’s the actual probability of being shot at 300 yards by a girthy bush, why you would never brag about the 30 acres you inherited from your Uncle Roland, and how path proximity is crucial when sounding the alarm for the leash police. 

The guys discuss who really benefits from having a fake family member at times, why a departed loved one should only expect a heavenly high five, and how a reckless semi driver can unknowingly reach hero status in the wake of his chaos. 

The guys discuss how you never use the first beak when pulling an accurate measurement, why you can't expect 145 tons of black market chicken to be any cooler than room temperature, and when is the ONLY TIME you'll ever hear a mourner say "we're all better off".instagram.com/thatchecksoutwdtfacebook.com/thatchecksoutwithdamonandtedRecorded at Audiohive PodcastingHosted on Transistor.fm

The guys discuss why choosing the correct prison activity can definitely change your sentence, how the lower your avocados hang the thicker your guacamole gets, and where your pizza literally comes out of the oven hot as lava. instagram.com/thatchecksoutwdtfacebook.com/thatchecksoutwithdamonandtedRecorded at Audiohive PodcastingHosted on Transistor.fm

The guys discuss how timing is everything when it comes to a pebble exchange, why there’s so much collateral damage with Damon’s misdirected wishes, and when is the appropriate time to report a pee-soaked neck pillow. instagram.com/thatchecksoutwdtfacebook.com/thatchecksoutwithdamonandtedRecorded at Audiohive PodcastingHosted on Transistor.fm

The guys discuss when it is most important to wake up early in Finland, why someone telling you how hot your mom was leads to and early 80’s Rampage, and how death metal was monumental in the 1880’s to detour men from hosiery and booze. instagram.com/thatchecksoutwdtfacebook.com/thatchecksoutwithdamonandtedRecorded at Audiohive PodcastingHosted on Transistor.fm

The guys discuss why it’s fiscally responsible to always know where your driveway is, what makes the first 60 seconds of a random Central Florida garage sale so dangerous, and when showing “kindness” to your neighbors can get you life in prison.  instagram.com/thatchecksoutwdtfacebook.com/thatchecksoutwithdamonandtedRecorded at Audiohive PodcastingHosted on Transistor.fm

The guys discuss when a wafflestomp proves you did not cheat at Chinese Chess, how Canadians simply do not tolerate pretend witchcraft, and why having a mullet and an unpopular last name will get your bread an end cap display at your local grocer. instagram.com/thatchecksoutwdtfacebook.com/thatchecksoutwithdamonandtedRecorded at Audiohive PodcastingHosted on Transistor.fm

The guys discuss when 25 minutes means it’s time to drop the purse and start the car, how wood testosterone is 17% greater than ball testosterone, and why holiday eye contact is so imperative in avoiding wang fractures. instagram.com/thatchecksoutwdtfacebook.com/thatchecksoutwithdamonandtedRecorded at Audiohive PodcastingHosted on Transistor.fm