Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explains how if we are ruled from without, we are slaves. If we are ruled from within, we are still enslaved.Short review of recent sesshin.Lola shares the amusing tale of the teacher's visit to an archery target practice.When you’re always doing, disciplining yourself, there is a conflict. Beyond discipline is stillness.We receive teachings at the level we need them. Consciousness has the body. Not the other way around.Lola recounts the tale of the Sufi mystic who is captured and taken to the slave market by his captors. July 15, 1984

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, suggests you look at your life as a story. Is there anything you would change? Though this life is not perfect, you’re probably reasonably comfortable living on this shore. Change is scary.While many of us are part of a practice group, we really each travel alone on this path. The truth is inside of us. We can’t find it together outside somewhere.For your travel on this path you have provisions. In Buddhism, they are called the Paramitas, or perfections.Giving. This is not necessarily material giving. Sharing of oneself.Observing the precepts - discipline as to your ethical conduct. PatienceDiligenceMeditationWisdomPatience and diligence on the path might seem like opposites. You can’t just sit there in your meditation and wait for Grace to come to you. Some effort is required. But then Grace does come.Don’t waste energy. Don’t squander it on reckless and distracting activities. Contrary to popular belief, a silent mind is God’s workshop—not the devil’s.Sufi mystic, al-Shibili, was asked who guided him on the path. A dog, he said, who would look at his reflection in the water and be frightened. We are frightened of the illusion we think is ourself.The tale of the monk who is afraid to walk home in the dark. His teacher hands him a candle. Then, on his way out the door the teacher blows out the candle. “My light can’t go with you. You must be a light unto yourself.”July 8, 1984

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explores the possible meanings of several Buddhist and Christian concepts:• Pranyaparamita, or “the perfection of transcendental wisdom.”• Sunyata, or the emptiness that emptiness constitutes ultimate reality. Not adding, but taking away.• Avataṃsaka Sūtra, which comprehensively describes the powers of meditation and emptiness.• Anapanasati - awareness of that before you, of your breath.• Or when Jesus says to Nicodemus: “Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.” Your ego must be reduced to ashes. And emptiness remains.• Thomas à Kempis, a German-Dutch Augustinian monk, wrote in the Imitation of Christ a strange teaching to “Truly to know and despise self.” But that is not to hate oneself, but one’s obsession with oneself.• As the Buddhists teach, eating, bathing mechanically—not mindfully—is doing these activities with disrespect.• The Ignorantine Friars of the 1500s taught that the more ignorant you were the better off you were. To not read or write.• But Lao Tzu reminds us how precarious it is to chase ideals. “Man on tiptoe is not steady.”Ananda noticed the Buddha never changed position during the night, so one day he asked him: "Do you sleep?" His reply: "When the mind is silent, the body sleeps. Awareness does not."July 1, 1984

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, discusses the similarities between Hasidic Judaism and Buddhism.Many religions are more emotional. Zen practitioners are often intellectual. The similarities between Hasidic Judaism and Buddhism.Also, the tale of two men who travel during a dark night. Only one has a lantern. When their paths split, the man without the lantern must grope along in the darkness. That is not unlike being in life without the presence of your teaching. You must learn to be a light unto yourself. Be okay with groping in the darkness. The light will come. Your path is, ultimately, your own—no one else’s. The old man in you must die for the new man to be born. May 19, 1985

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explores the notion of preferences. As the Third Chinese Patriarch of Zen put it: when love and hate are both absent, everything becomes clear and undisguised. Make the smallest distinction, however, and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart. If you wish to see the truth, then hold no opinions for, or against, anything.That is the choice-less reality, true stability. When you make a distinction, you are divided within yourself. The real does not change—only what you project on it.Discrimination does not bring happiness. You cannot say, “I will only love. I will not hate.” It’s like saying, “I will only inhale.” Don’t project onto others how you want them to be. No one is here to fulfill your dreams. Only you are.The deepest truth lies in the principle of identity. May 12, 1985

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explains that when most of us listen to a teacher talk, what we hear is determined by our conditioning. When one talks to God in his thoughts, he is not talking to God. To truly practice, one must be wholly sincere and not deceive oneself.A monk came to a Zen Master and asked, ”What if you meet up with someone who is deaf, dumb, and blind?” Also, if the aim of a Zen master is to save innumerable beings, how does one explain the behavior of a hermit master?A monk asked Kyosei, "I am pecking from inside the shell. I beg you, Master, please peck from outside." But the master asked: “Are you then in a state of readiness?”Zen Master Seppo contended that he was not a teacher. Yet 87 of his monks attained. Also, if we are aiming to experience the void, the emptiness, why would anyone want that? May 5, 1985

During this talk, Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, has a bad cough, which she lightheartedly uses in her discussion about how to hear and how to listen. To listen like a tape recorder, without thinking. Lola walks us through a quick history of philosophical thinking, from the Ionians (Thales thought the basic entity was water) to Pythagoras to Aristotle and beyond. To discipline oneself in learning is called hearing. Once you’re full of learning, you begin what is called approaching. Then beyond both is transcending. Once one transcends to non-duality, there is nothing to discuss. Lola Apr 14, 1985

You are born into pleasure and pain, and eventually emotions develop. Then centuries of conditioning. From your parents, from your culture. How many personalities and faces do you have? All creating contradictions in you. But if you dig down, there is unity—an undivided, centered individual. Most important: do not deceive yourself. Sit. Look into yourself and the truth will reveal itself to you. As illusions drop, as attitudes drop, how relaxing it is to be at ease with yourself. What could be more tremendous in life than to meet your own destiny? Mar 31, 1985

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, discusses Mystica Theologica by St Dionysias. He said religious experience can’t be described. Like music: as much as you might name notes, no description is adequate to explain what music really is. So it is with religious experience. Dionysias called it “agnosia” or unknowing. There is a depth in saying “I don’t know.” Even Socrates said the only thing he knows is that he knows nothing. The atheist who says he knows there is no God… does not speak from experience. He really does not know. Both the theist and atheist make wrong assumptions.We meditate to reduce conditioning, etc. The aim is to set ourselves up to experience an empty silence. The emptiness of unknowing. Of Dionysias’ agnosia. Dionysias called it the “translucent darkness.” Or “Knowing ignorance.” God is light and darkness together. Only then can reality of God be experienced. It can be remembered, but cannot be described. Just: “Ah, this.” That is why the Taoists say the wise man keeps his mouth shut. The world is one—the seen and the unseen—even though we don’t see the world as united. Lola Jul 22, 1985

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, recounts the tale of Zen Master Hogen who studied with Keishin Zenji. Once Keishin Zenji asked him, 'Joza, where do you go?' “Hogen answered, 'I am making pilgrimage aimlessly." Lola also shares the story of the non-believer who falls off a cliff and dangles by a small twig. He begs God to help him. "But I thought you didn’t believe in me,” says God. The non-believer says, “Okay, I do now. Please save me." So God answers, “Okay, let go of the twig and I will save you.” Zen masters never tell the truth. They may point, or provoke, or create a situation that will help you learn. But if a teacher says what he is saying is the truth, leave him. If you can see the truth, you can see it here—where you are. Nirvana is samsara. July 15, 1985.

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explains how you can ask questions about the meaning of life all day long. But who is the questioner? Usually we take the wrong approach to these questions. The questions and the answers are thoughts—or objects. They are not reality. If you have a deluded mind, how are you supposed to use it in meditation? You must set it aside. When silence is present, where are you? When you aren’t thinking, are you a man or a woman? Tall or short?The real question is “What is the reality of me?” Your mind is full of fragments of your parents, your friends, teachers, books you’ve read. But where is the mind itself? The same one that has always been there.You can’t have someone meditate for you and tell you about it. Enlightenment is a personal experience. The mind dwells in the cave of the heart. He who conquers it frees himself from slavery. May 26, 1985

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, shares the teachings of Lao Tzu. He was not a brave man. Or a coward. Courage does not play a role in the sage. The mightiest fighting rooster does not crow about his might. True confidence does not brag. If you meet a sage on the road, how do you greet him? Meditation is like a coiled spring. You push, push, push it down… then release. Jun 24, 1984

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explains how a mirror reflects everything before it. It reflects young you when you’re young. It reflects old you when you’re old. But the mirror isn’t old or young. It is uncontaminated. The same consciousness is watching from inside you when you’re young, when you’re middle aged and when you’re old. But that Witness isn’t young or middle aged or old. Just like the mirror, your consciousness doesn’t change. Just the content is different. We all have heard teachings about being good. Buddha said “if you cleanse your heart, your conduct will be unimpeachable. Feeling good about yourself should be a natural thing. A child instinctively wants freedom. The child thinks freedom is good. But then Mother restricts freedom, which says it’s wrong. The child then thinks “I must be wrong.” To be truly good means to be conscious in everything you do. Gurdjieff’s stop method worked to help his students be conscious in everything they did. When you’re silent, there is one mind. When you’re thinking, you are many. And in tumult. Thinking disturbs the silent mind. And he rejects himself. As a human you have a rare opportunity to wake up. Don’t squander that opportunity. Jun 10, 1984

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explains how when you’re happy, sad, pleased, unpleased—it’s all in your periphery. It is not really you. When you’re happy, sad, pleased, displeased—it’s all in your periphery. It is not really you. Do not deceive yourself with your own attitudes. Plastic flowers do not grow. Plastic personas do not grow. But you can. Your appearances give you respectability but they do not give you contentment. Examine your past so it doesn’t govern you. The past is dead. Stop living it. Whenever you taste the ocean, it always tastes like salt. Find your own unity. Your eyes discriminate. You can open them, close them, direct them. But it’s different with our ears—everything comes in. Truth eventually will reveal itself. Oct 30, 1983

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explores the wisdom of Zen Master Ikkyu. What must wake up in you for you to be awake? Where do you go when you’re in a deep sleep? Buddhism is a religion of the individual. We become individually free. Teaching about awakened self is like selling water by the river. We spend our lives trying to make our fantasies a reality. Assuming responsibility for one’s spiritual life. Who owns your karma? Oct 29, 1989

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, recounts tales of Master Fugai. Lola gives a detailed explanation of meditation. How the word meditation, historically, has been thought to mean thinking, pondering. But in Zen it’s just the opposite. In Zen meditation you sit, and can watch your thoughts go by, but you do not get swept up by them. If you observe closely you’ll start to see that your thoughts create a circular pattern… over and over, and at the center of this circle is a point with which you are identified: anger, or greed or some other kind of self-centeredness. Once we understand we are not the masters of our thoughts—but victims—we can stop cooperating, stop remaining a victim of them. When you sit, don’t cling to thoughts or emotions. Just sit. And be. Zen is not something you just read in a book. It is an encounter with reality. Also, Lola discusses how religions can broadly be divided into two different approaches: the path of the heart and the path of the mind. You can pursue God through your heart—with love. Not romantic love, or sexual love. But God’s love, or agape. Lola Mar 17, 1985

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, discusses how we’re all waiting for the most extraordinary teacher. We want only the best. The tale of the visitor who asked Zen master Bankei what miracles he could perform. His answer is lovely Zen. Lola lso, understanding the concept of “don’t know.” It’s very difficult. We all prefer to be clever, which obscures our original mind. If you recognize the original mind, will you reincarnate? Bunka says it won’t matter to you. That is the interest of the ego. Listen to the teacher with no inner commentary. The unconditioned is pure consciousness. Even in our dreams we have a censor that doesn’t allow some material to come up from our unconscious. (Lola has a bad cough through this talk). Aug 6, 1989

Zen Roshi and ordained Christian minister, Lola McDowell Lee, gives this talk during Easter of 1985. She explores the Resurrection of Christ. You can experience the Resurrection yourself. Your deathless existence is within you. It is the Godseed. The tale of the king who leaves his three sons each a bag of seed and asks them to best preserve them in his absence. The seed must die in order to grow. The tale of a man walking peacefully among the throngs racing through Pompeii during the volcanic eruption. Also, how during our practices we grope inside ourselves. At first what we find may puzzle us, but eventually what we will find is magnificent. Apr 7, 1985

Zen Roshi, Lola McDoweel Lee, explains how we all call ourselves an I, but there is only one—which everyone appropriates for themselves. Eventually our thoughts, voices, identifications eclipse the I. We adopt styles from lots of people—actors, ministers, anyone who appeals to us. The second in a series about the Transactional Analysis approach of Child, Parent, Adult. Child enjoys the moment through feeling, often irrationally. The Parental Voice then comes in to caution the child. The Adult brings reason. But Adult reason alone is not the answer. Lola Oct 13, 1983

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explains three parts of our psychology working against each other --the parent, the child and the adult. The child’s impulses and emotions shouldn’t be in control. The parent alone can be dominating.The adult hold to reason only, which can make for a flat life. Some part will be dissatisfied. Ideally, we become a part of all three. The Buddha doesn’t choose one. He takes the middle path, a the center of all three.Three stages of our development: 1. We do something and are aware we did it. 2. We ask ourself “What am I doing?”3. We are going to do something, but our awareness stops us. Pratyahara means being present. Awareness, mindfulness, stops you. It is difficult to repent without putting your ego back into it. True correction is reform. Insults are meaningless unless you accept them. How to sit with this? Be mindful and you can have the spontaneity of the child and the reason of the adult and parent. Then the three become one—the single I. Oct 6, 1983

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explains how most of us are after power—control, authority in our situation. A wise man seeks not. Instead, he cooperates, harmonizes with the situation. The tale of Frederick The Great of Prussia’s solution to the many sparrows eating his kingdom's grain. Cleansing your mind is not a one-time effort. Because each day you gather more dust. So Lola suggests you meditate twice a day. Once to give yourself a clean start to the day. Second, at the end of the day, to cleanse the dust you’ve accumulated. As he was dying, Buddha’s advice to his long-time, devoted follower, Ananda, who was concerned about losing that shining light that was the Buddha: "Be a light unto yourself.”Also the Song of the Sannyasin. Nov 27, 1983

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, discusses Love, Life and Death. When you are filled with love, there is nothing missing. Can you love without a lover? Some people share their loneliness and call it love. The most important thing for you is your life. Yet most of us never thoroughly investigate it. In deep meditation you can. Death is an unpopular subject All you think you are now is going to die. Face yourself—beyond time and space. When you are alone, do you lie to yourself? When you let go, where do you let go to? We too are lucky to be born in the time of a Buddha. And that Buddha can be us. Nov 20, 1983

Understanding the noetic quality of mind, the hidden self, through meditation. That is just a matter of sitting, and being who you are. The difference between sailing on a paper boat and a real boat: How we think about what enlightenment will be. And being it firsthand. Many of us parrot what we know from things we’ve heard or read. We can repeat the most profound teachings and remain stupid. What in us is orginal? A tale of Zen Master Dokuon. May 1, 1983

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, asks: When you are alone… are you really alone? We treat the ego as an absolute, when, in fact, it is a gap between you and totality. Ask yourself: Who am I? And you’ll find the Buddha. What does a Zen teacher do? Beyond aloneness and togetherness is the eternal — no one going nowhere. Non-dualistic wisdom. Remain in the Witness your whole life. It’ll change things. Jul 3, 1983

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explores how it is In the other that we see what we think is us. When we are alone, many of us feel in strange company. It’s possible to see what one’s life is really about. The thoughts out there, which have have become a mask to our true selves, will grow dimmer. Until our spiritual search is no longer just a curiosity or inquiry—but becomes a deep hunger that consumes us. Someone once asked a Zen master, "What is the greatest miracle in the world?” His answer: “I am sitting here alone.” Oct 30, 1983

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explains how existence is reported to us as separate objects. But there is a unity to life that runs through everything—called the Tao. The Taoist sage, Lieh Tzu, was once asked: Why do you value emptiness? His answer is explained. Also, most spiritual paths fall into two categories: via affirmative and via negativa. The affirmative path is where we take actions to make progress. The danger is the ego. The negative path is the path of Zen, an interior path of negation. The danger is lethargy. Though Zen practitioners have activities and devices they use, so we might say they use a little of both paths. Jun 12, 1983

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, recounts the tale of a teacher’s interaction with his student, Hakuin, who became the founder of Rinzai. From Hakuin’s “Song Of Meditation” we hear: “All beings are from the very beginning Buddhas. It is like water and ice: apart from water, no ice. Outside living beings, no Buddhas. Not knowing it is near, they seek it afar. What a pity!” Jun 5, 1983

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, asks: What are you searching for? Do you know it is your ego that is doing the searching? You see plenty of Buddha statues sitting still. But have you ever seen a Zen master sitting still? They are always doing something. There is silence and there is action. The mind and the body. We have both. And we need both to understand. We need to learn how to bring ourselves to our action. Thinking about our actions afterward does little good. Learning to act spontaneously.  May 29, 1983

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, discusses judging others, the interdependence of the universe. Indra’s net — the mirror mind, and how every one of us reflects everything else. How we shouldn't fight the darkness—and just light a candle. The tale of the thief who robs Shichiri Kojun and became a disciple. May 22, 1983

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explains that we are in an in-between state. We’re not unconscious and we’re not completely conscious. We are objectively self-conscious—conscious of things out there, and we think of ourselves as things, too. We are stuck in this world between the unconscious and conscious. As fas as thinking goes, we’re fine. The mind can do that. We can also talk. But when it comes to acting—doing something—we need the energy of the unconscious. That’s where all the energy is. Our thinking minds cannot actually do anything. The objectively self-aware ego is helpless. May 15, 1983

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, recounts the tale of Kakua, the first Japanese man to study Zen in China. After returning to Japan the emperor asked him what he learned. He took out a flute, played a single note and left. No one ever knew what became of him. When we meditate and watch our breath, we are playing an iron flute with no holes. Reason is divisive. Acceptance is saying yes to the totality of yourself. Also, we travel in space and time—but do we ever stay home? Apr 24, 1983

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, recounts the monk who asks Fuketsu “Without speaking and without silence, how can you express the Truth?” His answer: "I always remember springtime in southern China. The birds sing among innumerable kinds of fragrant flowers.” God is speaking to us all the time, and we just don’t hear Him. Baby birds don’t learn how to sing. Spring sings in them. Apr 10, 1983

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, describes how humankind repeats the same old pattern. We do not want our dream disturbed.We live in the known, afraid of the unknown. Being truly alive should be an adventure. If your life is not an adventure into the unknown…you’re not truly living. An Easter message of resurrection. A passage by the yogi, Aurobindo. Apr 3, 1983

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, recounts the tale of the student who visits a teacher, whose only answer to his questions is to sweep fallen leaves. Also, how we identify with everything but ourselves. Possessions, our emotions, our thoughts. But not our true selves. Gurdjieff would insult a student to spark his anger. Then say, “Be alert in your anger. Be aware in your anger.” In every ritual there is a hidden key. Are you using your rituals as tools to find that silence within you? Mar 12, 1983

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explains how existence renders actual . Non-existence renders useful. It is not the walls, but the seemingly non-actual space within the house, that renders it useful. Chuang Tzu teaches us to appreciate the useless in the world. Kierkegaard used to go to church and tell God things he wanted. But then he realized that God knows everything, so why is he telling God what to do? Eventually he learned to be silent, and just listen to God. The absence of talking was more useful than talking. Mar 6, 1983

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explains that when we are born we emerge from a mysterious life source, and when we die we return to that source. And now, in mediation, we have the opportunity to know that source.  When you are asleep and breathing, there is still consciousness. When you are self-conscious, you are in a sense unconscious, and when you are not self-conscious, you are conscious. The intellect cannot penetrate consciousness. When you drop thoughts,  consciousness is present. When you drop the pseudo self, the True Self is present. We blame our misery on everything from past lives to Satan, etc. but our self-consciousness is responsible for our misery. July 12, 198

Zen Roshi (and ordained Christian minister), Lola McDowell Lee, discusses the Christian notion of sin. In Aramaic sin means to miss, and does not have guilt or shame associated with it like we do. St. Thomas: “If they ask you, ‘What is the sign of your father in you?’, say to them ‘It is movement and repose.'” What is movement and repose, or rest, in Zen and Christian practice? Rest is a silent, choiceness awareness, without time, without movement. Dec 13, 1981

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee discusses oneness and self-restraint. Eventually there is serenity and a child-like innocence. And the innocent Self sees everything… and the whole world is divine. Breathing into the Hara, your focus deepens and mysteries reveal themselves. You don’t need to solve them. The mysteries reveal themselves to you. Apr 14, 1981

What is happiness? The tale of the farmer who demanded from God to have control of the weather, and God said yes. Challenges in life are how you learn. Finding your true self takes work. Are you free or is your conditioning controlling you? Dig into yourself and ask “Who am I?” People get attached to their misery. The tale of the soldier whose boots are too small. Jun 21, 1981

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, discusses finding ways to integrate ourselves. Strengthening the tanden (Hara). How to work on the division between our senses and our thinking. Body and soul. Matter and consciousness. How can we find oneness while we’re divided inside? Jun 14, 1981

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explores the meaning of knowledge and ignorance in Buddhism and the Bible. The Tree Of Knowledge and the Tree Of Life. Zen practice is not an intellectual endeavor. The tale of the blind man and the lantern. Be a light until yourself. Feb 17, 1985

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, discusses Chinese Master Yoka Daishi. We were all born with our true religion. It is essential in us. Not some borrowed doctrine. It’s not something outside which you seek. It’s the seeker. When you are silent, it speaks. Your absence is its presence.When you look in the mirror, do you see you? Feb 10, 1985

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, discusses Lao Tsu’s Tao Te Ching. Also, the tale of the master swordsman, the rat and the palace cat. If you look for an enemy, you will find one. If I give a gift and it’s not accepted, to whom does the gift belong? Sep 22, 1985

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, discusses the beginning stanzas of the Diamond Sutra. What to do with our thoughts? Where is the mind? What is faith? Is there a wisdom that is the ground of mind? Where does it abide? What do you think is holy? Do not sit in meditation waiting for enlightenment. Direct your attention to the mind. Mar 2, 1986

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, on listening to teachings as if you are an empty tape recorder—not judging, evaluating, or comparing. The Dhammapada, or stepping into the dharma. Also, our world is real, but it is illusory. Like looking at reality through a keyhole. A limited view. Also, when your thoughts cease, who are you? And Rainer Maria Rilke. Sep 4, 1983

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explains that when you breathe, it is not you doing the breathing. As you watch this breath, in time you’ll discover something remarkable about it. To begin work toward realization, focus on the breath. Not breathing. The breath. What is this life living you? It’s the same as that which sings in the birds. In your eyes He is seeing. In your hands He is doing. Jan 8, 1984

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, was also an ordained Christian minister. At the holiday she shared a message about Christ within each of us. How we live a dark, deep mystery, and within that darkness there is light. Dec 20, 1986

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explains that what we see with our senses—the world in which we live—is a world of effects. The causes are hidden. To witness the apparent in the real and the real in the apparent. One mind sees both worlds. Also, why do we not recognize those among us who are enlightened?Jan 26, 1986

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, suggests we resist trying to recreate an earlier experience in meditation. The sword loses its edge with constant feeling. Your earliest memories at 3 or 4 or 5… that was the beginning of your ego. So what were you before that? Lao Tzu says when you reach success to step back into obscurity. Also, trying to change and remain the same at the same time—the hook that many are on. Jun 7, 1981