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Cindy Esliger
The podcast for ambitious, professional women who are tired of playing small and ready to overcome the invisible barriers that are holding us back at work.
41 - Stop Fixating on the How
Cindy Esliger talks about letting go of the fixation on how you’ll achieve goals and instead focussing simply on the next step in this episode. Requiring a full roadmap before embracing a new idea often stops us from stepping outside our comfort zone. Cindy has advice on how to break free of the fixation on how.New projects and goals are unknowable paths and that lack of linear foresight can make us reluctant to step into those challenges. Cindy’s advice, however, is to simply embrace the next step. You can figure out each subsequent step as you go. She shares the three traits needed to master the how: 1) adaptability, 2) resourcefulness, and 3) flexibility. Risk and discomfort help us reach our goals. Cindy’s three reasons for embracing discomfort are that comfort is overrated, discomfort is a catalyst for growth, and discomfort signals progress. She expands on how the growth happens and shares four ways to prepare ourselves for the negative emotions that may arise on our journey. Let Cindy’s guidance lead us outside the comfort zone so we can truly realize our goals, without knowing the how in advance.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Mastering the HowAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
14:3722/12/2022
40 - The Stewing is Worse than the Doing
Cindy Esliger examines the inescapable nature of fear and how confronting and transforming it is the only way forward. Everyone feels fear, but successful people simply refuse to let it prevent them from doing what they want to do. So Cindy unpacks some ways to start managing our fear. Fear is essentially our body’s way of signaling that we’re venturing outside our comfort zone. It alerts us to potential danger so we can escape it, but many threats that arouse our fears today are not actually life-threatening. So when the fear rises, how do we reframe it? Cindy has five points for us to remember: 1. Trying new things is scary, 2. Fear isn’t going away, 3. After doing things repeatedly, the fear lessens, 4. Making things happen feels good, and 5. The stewing is worse than the doing.What Cindy offers in this episode is a way to acknowledge that fear is something we always have in our lives but that it doesn’t necessarily mean we should not do something. She guides us through assessing our fears and pushing through them if they’re not actually signaling us about danger. Trying new things will always be scary but accepting the fear and doing the thing anyway leads to greater reward.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Reframing Your FearAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
13:2015/12/2022
39 - Playing Big
Cindy Esliger talks about transformation and empowerment in this episode. She refers to the inner wisdom we all possess that already knows what to do if we’re only willing to tap into it. Are we ready to start playing big to work at living up to our full potential? Cindy shares from her own career journey and struggles; detailing how she never did find the mentor she desired, forcing her to rely more fully on her inner sage, and the real barriers she came up against in her industry. Her experiences led her to understand the external forces at work against women in their career path, but also illuminated how women can reframe their own power to greater effect. Her insight is enlightening. What do you want from your career? What’s stopping you from getting there? Why aren’t you playing big? These are the questions Cindy posits and she shares advice for addressing the questions and finding answers. One of the answers may be coaching: find out exactly how to start reaching your full potential and maybe decide if coaching can help you get there.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for What Is Your WhyAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
16:5308/12/2022
38 - Your Moment of Reckoning
Cindy Esliger examines the disconnect between the increasing expectations of leaders and the lower levels of engagement in the workforce. Work is becoming less meaningful because leaders feel pressure to deliver more and there are fewer people to do that work. What part of this equation can we change so we can create the career we want?The continuing trend of trying to do more with less was meant to increase productivity but instead overburdened workers. We collectively have too much to do and no time to enjoy our accomplishments. This divide is making us disenchanted with our work. When we are constantly told “When things calm down…” but nothing ever changes, how long can we continue the grind until we realize we need an intentional change? Cindy advises that the solution is not to work even harder or faster. Instead she details how we have accepted the undermining comments and pressure that continue to keep us stuck as cogs in the machine. Cindy shares four mistakes we make that keep us trapped and away from the careers we desire: 1) surrounding ourselves with the wrong people, 2) not thinking we are worthy, 3) focusing only on what we do not want, 4) holding on when it’s time to let go. She breaks all of these down in ways that illuminate a path out of the grind and into the fulfilling work lives we desire.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Your Moment of ReckoningAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
18:1201/12/2022
37 - It's Not Personal
Cindy Esliger addresses the need to gain emotional distance from what others are going through and project onto us. We need to learn not to take things personally. Most things are not about us and Cindy has advice on how to obtain the calm needed to keep things in perspective.People all tend to live in their own worlds, wrapped up in whatever they’re going through. When they lash out or project their issues and we take it personally, we’re allowing ourselves to be offended by something that isn’t about us. Cindy wants to help us learn to choose what to believe and how to become less affected by the opinions of others.Cindy advises us to remember that we are not responsible for the actions of others, only for our own. She guides us into considering boundaries and deciding to commit to changing our lifestyles. She explains the five most common negative emotions that arise in the workplace - frustration, worry, disappointment, dislike, and anger - and details how we can work to change our reactions to each one. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for It's Not PersonalAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
14:3924/11/2022
36 - See What's Possible
Cindy Esliger talks about our vision for our future in today’s episode. What is it that we want to do and where do we see ourselves? She has some sage advice on how not to let worry and disbelief get in our way when reaching for our futures.We tend to get weighed down by the practical questions of ‘how’ when we envision our future and that realistic concern keeps us from truly dreaming. But what do we want for ourselves without the ‘how’ getting in the way? Cindy advises us to not get bogged down in the ‘how’ but to let ourselves believe in possibilities.Cindy discusses how our confidence and willingness to try new things disappears as we grow older. We allow fear and disbelief in our abilities to replace our confidence. We put the word ‘impossible’ into our thinking and limit ourselves. Cindy shares how to conquer this thinking, how to drown out the messages that say we can’t do something, and how to believe that our success is possible. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for See What's PossibleAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
15:3617/11/2022
35 - Job Crafting
In today’s episode Cindy Esliger talks about that feeling of job dissatisfaction, the slump, that often comes in the middle of our careers. She identifies why the initial excitement of the job fades and offers up advice on how to regain our original enthusiasm. There are many reasons for mundanity to settle into our job routine: that day in, day out feeling that pushes us towards unhappiness, stress, and diminished engagement. Cindy offers up that it’s maybe time to look for new challenges, expand our skill set, or push for promotion. She gives us two questions to ask at this point: What type of work makes us feel good? What are our strengths?How do we reinvigorate our sense of purpose in our careers? Cindy walks us through five strategies for creating sustainable patterns to help us focus on what matters most. The goal is to fall in love with our jobs all over again. There are ways to craft our jobs into a better fit for us and Cindy’s four steps are to decide what we want to change, to look for a win-win situation, to put the changes into practice, and to ensure the changes have the desired effect. With Cindy’s advice we can reclaim that initial excitement and dive into a new purpose.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Job CraftingAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
20:5310/11/2022
34 - The Stories We Tell Ourselves
Cindy Esliger addresses the stories we share and the stories we tell ourselves in this episode. Sometimes these stories become rigidly fixed in our minds when they’re actually only our perspective on things. Cindy shares how to take another view of our stories and open ourselves to more perspectives.When a story we’re holding onto doesn’t serve to help us grow or open us to new options, it’s time to examine how we tell those stories in the first place. Cindy suggests that we shift dysfunctional stories into a more constructive space. To that end, she explores six ways to tell ourselves more useful stories: 1. Add complexity. 2. Invite curiosity. 3. Do something. 4. Take responsibility. 5. Design a better future. 6. Develop resilience. Power comes from not allowing ourselves to be the victims of our stories and in opening up to more choices with more balanced stories. If we can accept a version of events that’s more self-reflective, we’ll be open to more possibilities. It can be frustrating to make this shift, however, so Cindy offers a four step process for dealing with such setbacks. We will learn more about ourselves with this insight and Cindy is here to help guide us to something bigger.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for The Stories We Tell OurselvesAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
14:0303/11/2022
33 - Finding Your Power
Cindy Esliger asks “Are you giving away your power?” at the start of this episode. The question sets the tone for addressing the ways in which we allow control of our lives and careers to be held by someone else. She then guides us through the steps to reclaiming our power.The impact external factors have on our lives is only as great as we are willing to allow. We give our power away to the opinions, criticisms, and demands of others too easily, to the detriment of ourselves. Cindy explains how getting in touch with our true desires will define what we actually want out of life and work, and she shares five steps on how to figure that out. Focus on what we really want helps us assert ourselves.Our power can also be challenged through the competitive verbal tactics others use to claim their place. Cindy details the three most common of these tactics - interrupting, stealing ideas, and using undermining comments - and breaks down how to address and deal with each one to our advantage. This episode encourages believing in ourselves, and with Cindy’s advice, will help us put that self-belief into action.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Finding Your PowerAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
18:0027/10/2022
32 - Misery Loves Company
Cindy Esliger examines complaining that doesn’t strive for solutions in this episode. Those people who whine and complain about how things are but resist solutions are the people holding us back. Cindy talks about how to look for possibilities instead of complaints.We all need to vent and get things off our chest from time to time, that’s healthy. But when we complain repeatedly about the same thing and never look for a way to address or solve the problem, we’re compounding the problems at hand. Cindy breaks down how complaining has a negative impact on our lives and psychology. Complaining is ineffective and useless if we won’t use it to seek out improvement and address issues. Cindy notes that we need to fix the balance of complaining more than we’re resolving. Negativity holds us back and Cindy has sound advice for turning our frustrations into positive action instead of repetitive misery. It’s time to examine why we’re complaining and what we can do to remedy it.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Misery Loves CompanyAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
16:1620/10/2022
31 - What's Wrong and Who's to Blame
In this episode Cindy Esliger talks about the blame game. We want to know why things go wrong and we like distancing ourselves from the problem, which often leads to blame. Cindy gets into how this causes issues and how to break the finger-pointing habit.We lean into a tendency to talk in circles around a problem, passing the buck and assigning blame, when really we should know how to take responsibility for our actions when needed. Cindy details exactly how this erodes an organization or team. She gives good reasons for working to resolve an issue instead of simply targeting a scapegoat.The blame game is played in many ways so Cindy shares four warning signs to watch out for. She then gives three steps on how to direct the discussion in a more productive direction. But even better than responding well to the blame game is avoiding it in the first place. Cindy lays out three ways to prevent the culture of blame from taking hold and challenges us each to ask five key questions about our own responsibility when something goes wrong. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for What's Wrong and Who's to BlameAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
15:0413/10/2022
30 - Learn to be Savvy to Survive
Cindy Esliger speaks to the reality of office politics in this episode. Women with high levels of political skill are more likely to achieve career progression in male dominated organizations. The workplace is not based on merit, so Cindy imparts advice on how to find savvy tactics that work for you.It is possible to participate in the game of influence with integrity and it’s important to learn how to do so in order to succeed. Influence, specifically organizational influence, is how people sell ideas and get credit. Cindy explains how it involves collaboration, building alliances, and doing favors. She breaks down how to grow awareness in political situations and why knowing yourself is part of how you achieve the necessary savvy.Cindy details how to play to your strengths while being adaptable. It isn’t necessary to become manipulative but you can’t remain naive or be a doormat in your workplace. She advises consciously deciding to get in the game and start learning integrity in influence. Listen to your inner sage so you can make a positive impact in your organization and for your advancement. Cindy shares practical tips and the wisdom of experience to assist you in navigating office politics.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Learn to be Savvy to SurviveAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
13:3806/10/2022
29 - Persuasion is an Art
Cindy Esliger discusses the art of persuasion in today’s episode. Everything is a negotiation and well refined social skills are a necessity for advancement. Persuasion is a key psychological component of life.In order to persuade someone, Cindy details the three key characteristics related to persuasiveness: authority, honesty, and likeability. Confidence, eye contact, and honesty are all important but Cindy also stresses that people are more likely to agree with someone they like. Likeability often tips the scales of persuasion.Cindy explains that the need to belong within a community often drives people to reject clear facts in favor of a stubborn perspective. Nobody wants to be seen as going against the crowd in case of losing social ties. She advises to form a community with the person you want to persuade and let the idea you’re presenting become their own idea. Study those at your work who advance and those who don’t. Listen to Cindy point out what to look for and how to apply it to yourself.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Persuasion is an ArtAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
16:2929/09/2022
28 - The Key to Gaining Influence
Cindy Esliger introduces the power of persuasion and influence in this episode. Cindy describes how honing good communication skills and learning to listen well will aid in gaining greater influence over someone else’s thinking.There are eight common barriers we face in successfully influencing people. Cindy lists all eight and breaks down why each is ineffective. She suggests that with new ideas we will have better success packing them more closely to what people are already familiar with. This combats the fear of change. Work that into one of the five styles of influence Cindy names: reasoning, incentivizing, listening, finding common ground, and stepping back. Cindy stresses that because we all really want to be heard and feel that our point of view is understood, active listening techniques become a key way to establish connection. She describes eight techniques for active listening from body language to clarification. In order to influence others, the content of our message is as important as how it is delivered and how it relates to the person receiving it. Cindy’s advice will prove invaluable to all future conversations.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for The Key to Gaining InfluenceAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
20:0022/09/2022
27 - Stop Busy Bragging
Cindy Esliger addresses the glorification of busy in this episode. She asks us all to stop bragging about how busy we are. Focusing on spending our time thoughtfully, and achieving balance in our lives with more personal time, will lead to being happier and healthier.There has been a steady glamorizing of being busy; we love to tell each other how busy we are. Cindy says “being busy is a disease” and directs us to focus on what we produce instead of how busy we look. Managers can help create a culture that focuses on what’s getting done, not who sends an email the latest or arrives the earliest. Cindy details that letting go of the need to be and appear busy, and refocusing on being efficient with our work requires a shift in thinking. She has advice on how to identify the things we need to do to move the needle from busy to effective. It’s all about not wasting our time, realizing that pursuing ambitions does not need to be a struggle, and not being afraid to have a life outside of work. We need to stop praising the culture of ‘busy’ and start rearranging our priorities. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Stop Busy BraggingAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
14:4915/09/2022
26 - Fear of Failure
Cindy Esliger addresses failure and our fear of it in this episode. Failure isn’t pleasant and we try to avoid it, but it’s necessary for learning and progress. Cindy unpacks all the ways in which avoiding failure over the fear of being embarrassed or called out holds us back from our own success.“Failure is life’s greatest teacher,” Cindy tells us. We dislike the negative feedback that can spring from failure but there are ways to navigate that feedback so it grows perseverance in us. Cindy advises to let go of our need to be immediately amazing in favor of just taking action. It’s okay to not succeed on your first try.Cindy details how to not let fear run our lives by developing the all-important skills of adaptation and resilience. We often struggle with what others will think of us and that prevents us from moving forward. So we need to examine the roots of our fear and teach ourselves that we’re allowed to dream, we’re allowed to fail, and when we work through what faltering teaches us we are closer to success. Cindy encourages us all to believe in ourselves and shares how to allow ourselves to learn as we go.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Fear of FailureAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
13:4808/09/2022
25 - If Not Now, When?
Cindy Esliger addresses doing the things we want to do in this episode. She asks why we’ve been putting off those goals, dreams, or plans we have for ourselves. Perhaps it’s a promotion or a new position that we desire. It’s time to stop thinking and make the change. Everyone has things they put off for another time. It’s not just you. But why are we putting things off and when will we do them? Cindy challenges us to ask what truly matters in our lives and make an action plan to achieve the dreams we have. Planning is well and good but to achieve success we must take action. Cindy lays out six ways to improve our capabilities and prepare for seizing that new job opportunity or role. One, complete work thoroughly and independently. Two, when asking questions, come with solutions as well. Three, expand your skill set. Four, find opportunities to continue your learning and education. Five, be aware of the economic pressures facing your organization. And six, use good judgment in carrying out your responsibilities. Let others know what your objectives are and go after them, don’t wait for an invitation. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for If Not Now, WhenAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
17:3501/09/2022
24 - Know Your Value
This episode, Cindy Esliger addresses knowing your value and negotiating for the compensation you deserve. Women are more likely to be offered less than men and are discouraged from placing much emphasis on money. But Cindy has advice on how to change that mindset and navigate negotiations.Cindy identifies five reasons for negotiating job offers. 1) Nobody is doing you a favor by hiring you, 2) You are supposed to negotiate, 3) The first offer is not the best offer, 4) Asking for more does not mean the employment offer will be withdrawn, and 5) You will be respected. Negotiation, done confidently and professionally, will greatly aid in your being compensated according to the value of your talent.Cindy also addresses confidence and the importance of understanding that you offer valuable skills and knowledge that employers should pay for accordingly. To this end, she shares four key steps to getting exactly what you want at work: 1) Do the legwork, 2) Think outside your salary, 3) Be realistic, and 4) Keep it professional. Choose your words carefully and objectively assess your approach. Cindy’s sage advice will guide you to success in asking for more in salary or benefits.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Know Your ValueAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
17:3825/08/2022
23 - What Are Your Triggers
Cindy Esliger guides us through what it is that triggers our frustration. She reveals the surprising fact that what someone says or does may not be the thing that actually sets us off and gives advice on how to dig deep to identify our true triggers. Cindy identifies how things that trigger us are often rooted in a desire for control that’s been denied us, deeper wounds beneath that, and feelings of inadequacy or lack of worth. We tend to think it’s a combination of the person and situation presented to us that sparks our frustration, but Cindy advises us to “take that moment to get curious” and ask questions about our reaction.In this episode Cindy explains seven common stressors that trigger frustration: 1) uncertainty, 2) lacking appreciation, 3) lacking creativity, 4) unpredictable environments, 5) experiencing overwhelm, 6) relying on others, and 7) resolving conflict. She unpacks each of these and offers some concrete ways to address them by rewiring our thinking about frustrating situations. And one thing she says is to “witness your thoughts with compassion”. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for What Are Your TriggersAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
15:2718/08/2022
22 - What You Need to Believe
Cindy Esliger tackles the understanding that our thoughts form our belief system, therefore it’s the thoughts we cling to as indisputable facts about ourselves that are truly holding us back. She dissects how to start questioning and changing these thoughts.Cindy says that “a belief is just a thought you keep on thinking” and many of our victim mentality inclinations and limiting beliefs come from thoughts we latched onto at some point and never questioned. We hang onto these limiting beliefs out of fear but perhaps it’s time to really question where the thoughts originated and challenge them.In this episode Cindy asks us to address our limiting beliefs one at a time. She asks us to take each belief that is holding us back and question it, ask if it’s really true, examine how we can let it go. She offers three steps for how to change what we believe: 1) Find out what we believe now, 2) Decide what you want to believe, 3) Practice believing. Cindy offers sage advice for every step of the process.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for What You Need to BelieveAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
13:1011/08/2022
21 - More than a Seat at the Table
Cindy Esliger addresses the sensitive subject of gender equality in today’s episode. Getting a seat at the proverbial table in the workplace is part of the battle but it isn’t the end goal, it’s just the beginning. Cindy lays out what’s at stake and how to reframe our thinking. Cindy directly acknowledges that women are still more frequently undervalued in workplaces and their contributions more likely to be ignored or not sought out. Hard work, which often got us through elementary school, is not enough in career settings. Now you must employ strategic thinking, organizational awareness, and political savvy. Cindy draws on her own experience in offering guidance.In this episode Cindy unpacks how getting a seat at the table is more difficult for women. She highlights how that seat is important and offers four ways to change your thinking in obtaining it. 1. It’s more than just optics, 2. We’re not broken, 3. Take up space, and 4. Upgrade the stories we tell ourselves. But getting the seat is not the end goal, either. It’s how we reshape the balance of gender equality for the better, demanding that women be seen equitably so future generations can thrive with opportunity. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for More than a Seat at the TableAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
21:2804/08/2022
20 - Do You Have to Do it All to Have it All
Today Cindy Esliger talks about all or nothing thinking and the pursuit of perfection. There is a give and take in life where some things must be good enough to allow us time to achieve perfection elsewhere. Perfectionism stems from fear of not being good enough and the need to be perfect in all things actually gets in the way of success. Cindy highlights how perfectionist tendencies contribute to procrastination and avoidance in addressing negative situations and emotions. Striving for excellence and wanting to be perfect are also different things.In this episode Cindy gives the sage advice that not everything in life needs to be perfect, that some things are fine being ‘fit for purpose’. Allowing yourself the grace of doing some things well enough to suit the purpose will free you up to focus on achieving higher levels of success, and working to perfection, in other areas. She stresses that compassion for self is important. You don’t have to do everything at the utmost level of mastery.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Do You Have to Do it All to Have it AllAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
14:1528/07/2022
19 - What Will This Make Possible
Cindy Esliger focuses our attention on the mindset shift required to reach our goals. We set big goals but lose steam before we make it happen, so Cindy has steps and strategies to help with focusing ourselves on what needs to be done every day. When you think about your future goals, are you overwhelmed by the problems of today? Can you clearly see why you want your imagined future? Cindy offers four things to build into our morning routine to keep us focused on making progress. 1. Write your goal down. 2. Write down a few reasons why it’s important. 3. Write down why you won’t make it happen today. 4. Write down the one thing you will do today to move forward.In this episode Cindy directs us to imagine our future self in their clearly defined goal and to start taking advice from that future self who has achieved success. She shares three reasons why our future self knows what we need to do right now to reach the goal, and why mindset really matters more than the plan we lay out. Our goals are within our reach when we decide to overcome our doubts and accomplish them.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for What Will Make This PossibleAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
16:5721/07/2022
18 - You Can Do Hard Things
Limiting beliefs and achieving hard things is the topic of today’s podcast. Cindy Esliger explores how the discomfort of doing hard things causes us to limit our belief in our own abilities. She has advice for how to approach difficulties with the mindset that we can overcome them.Doing hard things challenges us in ways that cause us to grow. The more we accomplish the hard things, the stronger we will get. Cindy understands, however, that we will have to push against our own fear to make this happen. Our fear and doubt create our limiting beliefs and there are three kinds we must fight against: limiting beliefs about the world, about others, and primarily about ourselves.In this episode Cindy identifies four ways to tell whether we’re falling into the trap of limiting beliefs: through black and white thinking, by blaming ourselves for random negative occurrences, by assuming the worst, and through universalizing. If we can identify these, we can start to work past them to foster our ability to achieve our goals. Cindy gives us a six step process designed to take us through exchanging limiting beliefs for empowering ones. Success is something we must believe is possible and Cindy can help us get there.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for You Can Do the Hard ThingsAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
15:5214/07/2022
17 - Decide to Decide
Cindy Esliger addresses decision making in today’s episode. She breaks down our tendency to avoid making hard decisions with strategic advice on overcoming our mental blocks about not knowing what we want. Our belief that decisions are right or wrong creates a lot of pressure for us to make the right ones. Cindy acknowledges that this is part of why we prefer to sit in indecision rather than be wrong. She advises to embrace decisions not as right or wrong, good or bad, but as the right choice in this moment.In this episode Cindy presents four steps designed to help take the confusion out of decision-making. First, consider everything. Second, anticipate success. Third, what would you do if you couldn’t fail? And fourth, what would your future self tell you to do? She guides us to view outcomes not as winning or losing but as winning or learning. And she lays out mindset strategies that turn options from frightening obstacles into enjoyable opportunities.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Decide to DecideAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
13:4407/07/2022
16 - Silence is not the Solution
Cindy Esliger examines silence in this episode: the times when silence can work in your favor versus the times when silence comes at a cost. She has advice on how to use silence effectively and how to overcome the impulse to retreat into it when speaking up would be beneficial.Cindy details how silence is most useful when employed in conversations, where it makes the other person feel genuinely heard, and in negotiations, when it can be used as a strategic tactic. But silence also gets in the way of creating change when it’s used to avoid pointing out harmful or biased behavior.In this episode Cindy offers three ways we can influence change and affect bias from where we’re at: become aware, speak up, and become an ally. She addresses both positive and negative potential outcomes of speaking up. Then she explains how to break your silence in ways that help reclaim your power and don’t just invite confrontation. Choosing against silence to be an ally to those harmed by bias helps everyone experience a better workplace.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Silence is not the SolutionAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
19:4430/06/2022
15 - What's Done is Done
Cindy Esliger focuses our attention on leaving the past behind us and looking forward to who we are becoming. She addresses how worry and our own limiting beliefs can derail our ability to make better choices for ourselves.Cindy explores the reasons why we allow ourselves to dwell in the past. We embrace criticism and fix our attention on worst case scenarios. We keep ourselves in a comfort zone through fear or a chaotic life. But Cindy understands that the key to achieving dreams and greater success lies in turning fear into excitement and letting go of our worry.In this episode Cindy shares why worry affects our decision making progress and the strategies we can employ to eliminate the self imposed upper limits that hold us back. She gives us two questions to ask ourselves about worry: is it a real possibility, and is there any action we can take immediately to make a positive difference? She then details a four step process for getting out of the worry trap. Ultimately she asks us to determine our values because the values we define for ourselves allow us to embrace important decisions that move us forward for the better. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for What's Done is DoneAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
16:4923/06/2022
14 - No One Has it All Figured Out
Cindy Esliger explores imposter syndrome in this episode - that persistent fear that people will somehow find out we don’t know what we’re doing. We all have it. Cindy breaks down exactly what it is, the common symptoms, and then lays out strategies to help us overcome that self doubt.Cindy defines imposter syndrome as a psychological pattern in which we doubt our skills, intelligence, or competence to the point of fearing we’ll be exposed as a fraud. There are five common symptoms of imposter syndrome, which she lists as 1. Wondering why you were selected 2. Believing anyone could do what you’re doing 3. Disregarding compliments 4. Being convinced you don’t have enough experience, and 5. Working late on your own to avoid asking for help or being a bother. However, according to Cindy, feeling like an imposter is a necessary part of trying something new. Fear of failure, or even fear of success, is something everyone experiences. Rising above that fear is necessary growth for moving forward. Women also frequently feel like imposters in male dominated fields, but external societal perceptions of female incompetence are not personal and your qualifications earn you a place at the table. Cindy shares six key strategies to help combat those feelings of inadequacy so you can rise to success.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for No One Has It All Figured OutAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
18:3916/06/2022
13 - Find Your People
This episode is about finding our people and the community we as humans so vitally need. Cindy Esliger talks about the key ingredient required for all relationships, why we are hardwired to belong, and explores the types of people we each need around us. “Connecting with people can be challenging, but your people are out there.”Cindy acknowledges that we carry a lot of fear with us due to past betrayal or hurt. We seek the approval of others but are also afraid of giving others the power to injure us again. However, Cindy encourages us to take the risk with cautious open minds. There are five types of people we need in our lives that we should be on the lookout for: the cheerleaders, the allies, the mentors, the advocates, and the supporters. Friendships change as we age and not everyone is with us for our whole journey. Be ready to let friends go when it’s necessary. If you can’t depend on them, they don’t support who you are, or they demean you, take a step back from them. She has sage advice on how to find new people to fulfill us even when our instinct is to build a wall and not trust anyone. Listen to this episode and learn the importance of growth, embracing who you are, and reaching out to people who both share your interests and expand your perspectives.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Find Your PeopleAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
14:3709/06/2022
12 - Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway
Cindy Esliger addresses the subject of fear in today’s episode. She acknowledges that fear is natural and something everyone feels, and she discusses how to move forward past the fears that may be holding us back. She has real insight about how to handle fear and how to learn to manage doubt.Cindy first offers four tips for embracing your fear. One, get on with it. Two, show some compassion. Three, question yourself. And four, what can you learn from this? She goes into detail on what each step means. Part of achieving success in conquering fear is acknowledging that you are afraid. Then take one step at a time to move towards something scary in spite of the fear. Be afraid and do it anyway. Fear itself is broken down into four levels by Cindy. The fear of what could or will happen, which are largely things we have no control over. The fear of making the wrong decision. The fear of how you do or will feel. And the fear that you’ll be unable to handle what life throws at you. However, Cindy walks you through how common these fears are and how hanging back in comfort is essentially limiting yourself. She offers some real advice on how to trust yourself and develop a way of thinking that embraces change in spite of fear. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Feel the Fear and Do it AnywayAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
17:1102/06/2022
11 - Expand Your Skill Set
Cindy Esliger addresses how to examine your career in terms of opportunities and advancement. She has sound advice on how to make yourself more competitive so you can take responsibility for your own career. It’s time to learn how to expand your skill set and work your interpersonal strengths to overcome professional setbacks. Cindy names three main career roadblocks that can stall any career. Derailment, or a change in career momentum; setbacks, where you’re overlooked in a situation; and stagnation, where you’re overlooked or ignored repeatedly. She suggests considering whether we might be unknowingly sabotaging our own careers and advises adding complementary skills to existing strengths to stay on top of professional success. It’s not just the technical proficiency that companies reward, it’s a varied array of skills including the all-important soft skills.Cindy names leadership, communication, innovation, stress management, and interpersonal skills as some of those key soft skills that are fundamental to develop. Specialization is good, but a broad range of competencies is better and opens more doors. Building and maintaining a professional network is also important to success. Cindy details ten things that successful people do not do as a guide for how to expand your skill set. The goal is to build a strong, broad, compelling career for yourself by making your talents and skills impossible to overlook.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Expand Your Skill SetAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
15:1626/05/2022
10 - Great Work Doesn't Speak For Itself
Cindy Esliger talks about the reasons why we undervalue ourselves at work and the toll that takes on our careers. She acknowledges that women have a harder time getting their work noticed and taken seriously. She offers sound advice on how to change our mindset about what we have to offer and on learning to self promote.Cindy shares from her own past experience in feeling uncomfortable with speaking up about her accomplishments. She relates that, in hindsight, she understands that not speaking up about how she smoothed over client issues meant her work went unnoticed by her boss. It’s important to create visibility around your own success so your results get the recognition they deserve.Cindy lays out four steps to unlock your potential. First, create your vision. Second, create your action plan. Third, make it happen. And fourth, amplify your impact to achieve greater influence. She explains in detail how to approach each step, how to change how you may feel about the negative associations tied to self promotion, and why these steps are so important to reaching your goals.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Great Work Doesn't Speak For ItselfAstronomic Audio--Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
18:0319/05/2022
09 - Let Them Be Wrong About You
Cindy Esliger addresses how we all share responsibility for how we are treated and why worrying about the opinions of others is wasted energy. She acknowledges the struggles and obstacles women face that are different to those of men, and has thoughtful advice for everyone on how to manage people’s perceptions.Cindy understands that the social capital necessary for career advancement is often based in activities and attitudes not often available to women. She explains that the favorable conditions required for success, however, can be managed by us in the ways we use political strategies. She lays out three keys to create advantageous political strategies: frame ideas in appealing ways with influential people, manage people’s perceptions through clear response, and by arranging the right plan with the right support people in place.Cindy also speaks to people pleasing and the worry we carry over the opinions of others. She provides four steps to guide us in releasing worry about what people think. Building relationships and partnerships is essential to success at work, but your own opinion of yourself is the most important. Worry about your opinion, not the opinions of others, and forge success by staying true to yourself and your own values.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Let Them Be Wrong About YouAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
15:1212/05/2022
08 - Create Space to Succeed
Cindy Esliger discusses the subject of boundaries, both personal and professional, in this episode. She introduces the idea that boundaries are not limiting but are instead about managing the finite resources of our energy and time. We create more success for ourselves when we are able to set limits to the demands placed on us. Boundaries can include caring for our personal space, comfort, work efforts, time, and energy. Yet even though such limits are valuable, we find it difficult to set boundaries and say no to people. Cindy has two guidelines for setting boundaries: don't make boundaries from a place of anger or frustration, and take action from a place of self care. Cindy gives examples of her own boundaries, and former lack of limits in her job, and discusses how to gain control of our own experiences and feelings. We are not responsible for how others feel, but for our own feelings. Communicating and respecting our own boundaries is vital to our sense of wellness. Cindy offers sound advice on how to be committed to our own success through boundary setting.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Create Space to SucceedTim Ferriss quoteAstronomic Audio—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
20:4105/05/2022
07 - Embrace the Difference
Cindy Esliger addresses differences and how differences are what make us stand out from the crowd. When we try too hard to fit in and hide our quirks and flaws, we may end up undermining ourselves. Cindy encourages everyone to embrace the difference and avoid trying too hard to contort into a box or please people at the expense of our authentic selves.Some of the differences she notes in the workplace are the differing standards that men and women are held to. The behaviors that make men appear confident and competent, such as speaking up in meetings and acting assertively, are often held against women in the same context. Women who speak up and act assertively at work are seen as aggressive and women are afraid to embody this for fear of being disliked.Cindy acknowledges the many inequalities at play in a workplace but stresses that office politics are vital for advancing individual goals. She refers to a Richard Petty quote that confidence is the stuff that turns thoughts into action. Confidence is important and part of our confidence stems from understanding our abilities and embracing the very fact that we are different. She encourages everyone to find their voice and not succumb to the pressures to fit in.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Embrace the DifferenceRichard Petty—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
17:1728/04/2022
06 - The Meritocracy Myth
Cindy Esliger directly addresses the myth about the workplace being a meritocracy in this episode. Specifically for women, the key to achieving promotions, raises, and accolades is not simply working harder with longer hours. The workplace is not like school with reward through smarts and effort, and Cindy details exactly what women need to understand to get ahead.Cindy explains how the corporate explanation of being not quite ready for a promotion leads women to work harder, pursue more education, attend more seminars, and follow all the advice offered on how to become more assertive at work - only to not be recognized or promoted the next year. Women will often watch men with fewer qualifications and less outstanding performance get promoted ahead of them and believe they are the problem. But Cindy asserts that women are not the problem, the workplace is.Cindy details how women need to view work as political and enter the game. Women not only need to become more politically savvy, but be more aware of office politics, understand unwritten rules, and use natural abilities to read people to work in alignment with direct reports and managers. She explains how to gain insight into our own behavior and strengths while focusing less on the myth of meritocracy and more on increasing positional power. Her insights offer sound ideas for success in high pressure business environments.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for The Meritocracy Myth—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
16:4321/04/2022
05 - Everything is a Negotiation
In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores the art of negotiation and how so much of our daily lives involves negotiation, sometimes before we even realize it’s happening. She explains essential truths about negotiation and relationships as well as how to approach such exchanges with confidence.Cindy points out that most negotiations occur between people with whom we already have an ongoing relationship. This means we need to negotiate in ways that both lead to success and avoid inflicting damage on that relationship. She advises asking questions to better understand the interests at play and to discuss hypothetical outcomes to encourage conversational flow and examine how a deal could work for both parties. A key part of successful negotiation is confidence in ourselves and our abilities. We need to be able to assess our own strengths, understand why we’re being approached with an opportunity, and not be afraid to make demands or ask questions that benefit our own situation. Effective communication is important to both parties feeling heard. Avoid making concessions just to keep the peace, instead find the differences that allow room for compromise. Cindy shares many thoughtful insights into negotiating successfully and how to prepare for those future conversations. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Everything is a Negotiation—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
19:0114/04/2022
04 - Achieving Extraordinary Success
In this episode, Cindy Esliger addresses the thinking and fear holding us back from achieving the extraordinary success we want in life. She breaks down what we fear and how it impacts our belief in ourselves and our ability to dream big. Then she shines light on what steps can help us overcome these barriers.Cindy points out that none of us truly know our limits so when we downsize our dreams and stay within easy boundaries, we are limiting ourselves through that thinking. She asks “why not go big” in terms of our goals. Believing we are capable of much more opens doors to possibilities we may not have seen before. Cindy acknowledges that we often fear failure which is why we limit our thinking, but stresses that failure is a necessary part of growth and encourages us to overcome that fear.In exploring how to dream big and work towards achieving large success goals, Cindy notes that there are often three categories of tasks we encounter: the doable, those that stretch us, and those that challenge what’s possible. She breaks down how to accomplish each type of task by stepping outside our comfort zone and deciding on a direction to take. Then she details the simple formula of linking the reason for achieving the goal to committing to making it a priority, and finally to taking the steps to make it happen. Cindy’s insight sheds light on how far we can each go in realizing extraordinary success.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Achieving Extraordinary Success—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
16:5207/04/2022
03 - Let Them Be Who They Are
In this episode, Cindy Esliger discusses how to let go of the emotional reactions we tie to our expectations of other people. She introduces four tips on how to stop trying to control others and details how letting go of that control will free us from expending energy on emotional reactions to the choices of others. Cindy’s four key pieces of advice on letting go of control are deceptively simple. The first is to let them be. The second is that happiness is a choice. Third is to control what you can control. And fourth is to stop arguing with reality. In examining these four points, Cindy details exactly how we take on other people’s adherence or failure to do what we want them to by making their choices carry emotional weight in us. She explains that what we really need is to take responsibility for our own emotions and realize that expectations shouldn’t have feelings attached to them.Through the exploration of all four tips, Cindy stresses that the main focus we should have is on ourselves, on the responsibility we have for our own choices, and on choosing not to tie our emotional happiness to the expectations we place on others. Expectations, while sometimes necessary as a parent or boss, carry consequences but should not control our feelings. She urges listeners to think about the rewards of delayed gratification by letting go of needing to feel good about situations and responses immediately. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Let Them Be Who They Are—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
13:5507/04/2022
02 - Change Your Thoughts
Cindy Esliger addresses our desire to change by examining the power that thought holds in relation to changes we want to make. Thought patterns are powerful feeling generators that in turn drive our actions, so it’s vital to understand how thought creation works in order to achieve lasting change and success.Cindy details how our thoughts create our feelings. So when we change our thoughts we change how we feel and those new feelings inspire changes in our actions. There are three steps in the thought creation process, as identified by Cindy. First, finding out what we’re thinking now. Second, creating a new intentional thought to better manage our emotions. And third, committing to believing the new thoughts. This process outlines the power we have to initiate our own growth.Changing thought creation leads to a change in behavior, which can also be broken down into three parts. As Cindy explains, first is a change in identity, second is a change in processes, and third is a change in outcomes. She further examines how our identities and beliefs are linked and how the language we use in reference to ourselves matters. When she left engineering she realized she could still identify as an engineer, and when she began coach training it became important to self-identify as a coach. Cindy’s insight and experience lay bare how change results in life through shifting our focus from outcomes to our thoughts and identity. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Changing Your Thoughts—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
14:2307/04/2022
01 - The Barriers We Face
Cindy Esliger introduces the impetus behind Stop Sabotaging Your Success by sharing part of her career as an engineer and by addressing the barriers that confront women on their paths to success in engineering and technology sectors. Some of the challenges being faced are external - societal and structural - but some are internal, and Cindy’s goal is to provide insight and support to women in the industry.Cindy Esliger breaks down the three main keys to success as being 1. Performance, 2. External Perception, and 3. Visibility. She then details the “three big buckets”, as she calls them, that the challenges standing between women and those key success factors come in. First are the societal barriers. Second are the organizational or structural barriers. And third are the personal barriers. She speaks from firsthand experience about how each of these buckets of barriers manifests and works differently for women than men in the engineering and technology spaces.As she explains the barriers, she details exactly how they appear and how women often respond to them either by choice or societal conditioning. She asks key questions of every listener along the way, questions designed to address how every listener personally handles the obstacles and to assist in reflection on how women may rise above challenges and microaggressions. Cindy’s professed desire is to create mentors, a support circle for women coming up in the industry, and to foster their ability to realize success for their futures. About Stop Sabotaging Your Success: This is the podcast for ambitious, professional women trying to advance their careers, who are tired of playing small and ready to overcome the invisible barriers that are holding us back at work. If you’re ready to learn how to decide what you want and go after it confidently, then you’re in the right place. You have more power than you realize.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide for Identifying Your Barriers—Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
19:3007/04/2022