If you’re thinking about visiting the old asylum, make sure you’ve got all the gear you need: flashlight, electroscope, magnetic field detectors, the whole lot. But ghosts hate that Devil’s lettuce, leave that stuff home or you might drive em wild with anger. This week on the podcast Theo brings the latest concoction from Burger King Thailand, the Cheeeeesburger. He also has another batch of Farmer’s Only profiles. Will has a Wikipedia Historian about a very dumb cultist, and how Gen Z is using a British accent as a self defense mechanism. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

“... Why do you ask?” The pilot responds, just as the duct tape holding the wings on fails. This week on the podcast, Theo and Will talk about the Apple Vision Pro and its controversial price tag, a new pasta shape designed by a podcast called “Cascatelli”, McDonald’s newest nasty creation: The Hashbrown Oreo McFlurry Ice Cream Sandwich which combines hot potato with chocolate to really ruin your day, a woman wins a cheese rolling race down a hill despite being knocked unconscious, a MAGA supporter being scammed into buying “Trump Bucks”, and eBay listings for a mouse magician sawing someone in half, a possum’s head on a porcelain doll, and another animatronic possum doll bride that is perpetually screaming in the “Taxidermy Shoppe”. And Will takes us through some Nasty News including articles about a fertility doctor who used his own sperm but died in a plane crash in a plane that was hand built and a US reality TV star who had to end her fart in a jar business after she farted too much.   Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Listen, the guy already has stunning locks, ripped abs, and the suffering look is really in right now. Why shouldn’t he show off his summer body in Japan? Well he has to walk there first, but that’s only going to make him more fit. This week on the podcast, the Theo and Will talk about severing different parts of our personalities like the show “Severance”, if God farts and poops, a man who dumped 400 lbs. of pasta in the woods, the story of how Jesus moved to Japan after switching places with his brother, and America’s plan to nuke the Moon to scare the USSR.   Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

The accompanying marketing statement for this one said “dipping will never be the same” which… I dunno, I guess I’ll let you decide that one. In this week’s episode we explore one of the weirdest “game changing” devices entering a McDonald’s near you. Will has two news stories of successful self defense with a slingshot, and a dog driving. Theo takes will down the road of Farmer’s Only profiles to find a hot date. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Do you think if you grew up and Mike Wazowski was still busting into your room every night with his comedy routine at some point you’d just… snap? This week on the podcast Will brings a Conspiracy Query about a senator body swap, as well as a report of a woman having a full body… “expression of physical joy” during the philharmonic orchestra.  Theo’s got a report of thousands of bees dumped on a highway, and a Wikipedia Historian investigating the link between a certain Pope’s grudge against cats and the black plague. Finally Will rounds it out with another edition of Amazon Erotica. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

And nothing is worse than a rude horse. This week on the podcast, Will and Theo talk about Theo’s preacher grandfather who revealed he hates organ music, how frustrating it is to watch content that is about your profession, going over stupid Tik Tok “foodhacks”, Will goes over the most obvious hitman plot ever as a Air National Guard put his resume on rentahitman.com (a fake hitman website), Theo continues the trend of dumb crime with stories about a bank robbery committed with a cucumber and a Taliban leader who turned himself in for his own wanted poster reward, and Will goes over the turbulent history of the “Society for Indecency to Naked Animals”, a parody group created to make fun of reporters by lobbying for animals to wear clothing.   Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

“Wanna see me eat 15 hotdogs? You don’t? Ok well I’m gonna do it anyways.” This week on the podcast Theo and Will discuss the mayhem in Philly when a kid challenges himself to a hotdog eating contest, and Will walks us through the downfall of beloved (by someone) sandwich chain, Quiznos. Following all those food segments, Theo has one of the least appetizing editions of the Taxidermy Shop yet featuring a creator who attempted to power wash one of their creations to a pretty horrifying end. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

“I love this gorilla and he loves me! At least, I think he does. He mostly bares his teeth at me and gives me the thumb across the neck hand signal, which must mean love in Gorilla…” This week on the podcast, the boys talk about the Danish “Kageman” or “Cake Man” that is a tradition that is only meant to disturb children, Theo takes us on the flavor journey that is the Hidden Valley Ranch ice cream, Will tells us the newest scientific breakthrough as Scientists unveil a meatball made from cloned mammoth meat, Theo recounts a Gorilla attacking a guest in a Dutch zoo with surprising motives, and Will explains how to stay calm during confrontations.   Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Don’t get the title of this episode twisted, I promise it has nothing to do with Jack Daniels. You’re gonna have to listen to find out what that means. This week on the podcast Will talks about the many methods of getting rid of lionfish, as well as a report on the new nutritious Lunchables. Which is pretty much admitting that they weren’t nutritious before, but hey who’s even paying attention. He also talks about a man who is re-enacting Easter to the most literal degree for the 33rd time in a row. Theo has a story of a lawsuit that somehow made it all the way up to the Supreme Court which really made us wonder, “Shouldn’t someone less qualified handle this?” He’s also got a trio of Florida Men back up to their classic hijinks. Also, Will ends the show with a truly marvelous review of Spongebob: The Musical which you won’t want to miss. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Tip #1: Don't. We need loyal drones- I mean, employees to do the heavy lifting while the C-Suite goes and plays their 12 game of golf this week.   This week on the podcast, Theo and Will talk about sending postcards in 2023, how weird modern advertisements are, Campbell’s soup’s strange new Ghost Pepper soup, Will tells you “How to Quit Your Job without Burning Bridges” (as literally written by HR), and Theo takes us back to the “Taxidermy Shoppe” to show us some terrifying celebrity cosplay rats including one that looks like John Belushi from Animal House, Austin Powers, and also a mysterious totally real (not fake) pirate treasure from eBay.   Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Come on down to the Multi-Head No-Head On Average Normal Amounts of Heads Hut! We’re working on a new name, but hey you’re here to take a look at creatures with variable amounts of heads, not analyze our branding. This week on the podcast Theo reports on the return of the KFC Double Down, a truly chaotic creation making it’s re-debut. He also brings a selection of posts from the subreddit Am I the Devil for Will to witness how terrible people are to one another. Will has an article on How to Quit Anything, which (spoiler alert) doesn’t cover the range advertised. He also has a Wikipedia Historian on Mike the Headless chicken and his 18 months of fame. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Self explanatory, really. This week on the podcast, the boys talk about how bad TV remotes have gotten, Theo takes us down to Georgia to hear about a woman crashing her car into a KFC because she didn’t get biscuits, Will informs the public that a deranged Cookie Monster is haunting Californian piers, Theo goes down to the “Crystal Shop” to tell us about howe specific Ebay stones can help to improve our stats and commune with ghosts and angels, and Will tells us how to take the perfect bath.   Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

As your mayor, I promise you this: There will be no child left behind. That is, left in the car because the Chuck E. Cheese is filled to capacity. Every block will have a Chuck E. Cheese, and every child will get to go in that nasty ball pit. That is my vow. This week on the show, Theo explores some new catchphrases, and brings an edition of Food News that delves into children being banned from restaurants. He’s also got a Wikipedia Historian about Edward Mordrake, a man purportedly born with an extra face on the back of his head. Is it true? Maybe. Is it gross? Sure is. Will brings a segment about a Union gold heist by the FBI, and some people who think they were robbed of the find. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Think about it, all the worst things happen for whimsical reasons. World War 1 began because some youngsters wanted to kill an Archduke with the boyz, the Costa Concordia sank because the captain wanted to show off, and  Johnny Depp's career sank because of Johnny Depp. This week on the podcast, Will and Theo talk about how many parts you can substitute from a recipe before it is no longer the same recipe, Fox News falls for A&W's fake tweet about their new pant-less mascot, the incredibly tragic collapse of the Yarmouth Suspension Bridge with caused by the most incredible stupid event, Theo takes us into the “Taxidermy Shoppe” with some of the grossest finds yet including a mouse stripper, dark rituals, and other genuinely gross things, and Will takes us over to  read some more “Amazon Erotica” by finishing the descriptions of the “Sinner” series (Books 3 and 4) by Susan Liberty. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Imagine a world in which you sit down at work and are instantly warped to the sunken place, paralyzed by infinite comfort and are totally despondent. Well that dream can be yours, now at 50% off with this fabulous new X Chair! This week on the podcast Theo reviews the recent M&Ms drama, and takes Will on a deep dive into an office chair infomercial. Will brings us a report out of Texas that apparently pickles are a movie theater snack, and also has an update on the Wheel of Fugitive segment from several months ago. Finally, he rounds it out with another edition of Amazon Erotica. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Sometimes a man is pushed by society to his limits. Sometimes… He pushes back. And sometimes…. he makes an indestructible bulldozer to destroy the entire town over not having a minor zoning dispute go his way. RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION!   This week on the podcast, Will and Theo talk about Garfield phones washing up on French coasts, the “Crypto House” (which is furnished and decorated with NFTs) people are trying (and failing) to sell in Hollywood, Marvin Heemeyer’s rampage through his town with a custom “Killdozer” over petty reasons, and Theo asks Will “What Does This Rap Lyric Mean” with lyrics from the songs in “Culture II” by Migos.   Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

New hot short king Bigfeet in your area! Click here now to be connected to these short dense boys! This week on the podcast Theo has a report of the world’s new largest pizza, and quizzes Will on recent news in another edition of Is This the Onion? Will has a story of a woman who sues the Fish and Wildlife Association after she lost 125 pounds and got a divorce from her husband because they claimed she didn’t really see a bigfoot. There are so many layers there. And finally Will’s got a segment on procreation in the final frontier… Tune in to learn what the “Two Suit” is. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Monopoly is a fun game (ok it isn’t really) but it can certainly lead to tension. “1, 2, 3, aaaand it looks like you landed on my Park Place property. What have you got for me?” “How about some bullets straight from my gun?” This week on the podcast, the boys talk about the modern movie going experience, Theo’s thirst for high quality content, the new “Royalty Silencer” burger from Wayback Burger to call out Prince Harry’s new book, an attempted shooting caused by a Monopoly game, Chevy Chase’s bad reputation in Hollywood which led to one of the most embarrassing comedy roasts in history, and Will goes over one of the wildest hoaxes in history, full of masonry and thievery: the Cardiff Giant.   Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Ok this is Theo writing this description and listen — I’m not insane. Teeth are a renewable resource. Will thinks I’m crazy but just think about it, people just keep letting these things fall out and we aren’t even using them!! This week on the podcast Will introduces us to some truly bewildering Puritan names, and has a duo of “In the News” segments about a seemingly mild-mannered teacher getting into some bad business with a cartel, as well as a series of hitmen each lazier than the last. Theo pitches savory cupcakes to Will, and then proceeds to traumatize him with a truly horrific “Taxidermy Shop” segment. Oh also — stay til the end of this one, the best joke is in the last 2 minutes, after we do the outro. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Happy Holidays from Segment City to all of you and a Happy New Year!   On this Holiday Special, Will and Theo talk about New Year's Resolutions, some “White People Phrases” we might try to add to our vernacular, terrible “Food Trends” that happened in 2022 (including “Pink Sauce”, “Nyquil Chicken”, “The Six Flags Meal Plan”, and much more) as well as calling out future trends. Like the Ghost of Christmas Present, Will goes over current holiday food news with the unveiling of Eggo Waffle Eggnog (aka Eggo Nog), Theo takes us through his “Rules for 2023”, and Will reads some “Amazon Erotica” descriptions including , “Christmas Lunch Romp”, “Off Limits Christmas Sleep”, “Grumpy Christmas Mountain Man”, “Four Mafia Kings for Christmas”, and more….   Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

What does the Most American Cookie™ contain? Freedom. Fireworks. Flatulence. The big 3 F’s. This week on the podcast Will and Theo discuss the official 2022 Word of the Year, and Theo brings the news of Subway’s Cookie… innovations? Is that the word we’re allowing them to use? Additionally, Theo quizzes Will in another edition of Is This the Onion? Will has an In the News about Simon Cowell’s melting face, and a Conspiracy Query with some local relevance. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Yes, it is people competing to construct furniture. Categories include: Any %, 100% Completion, and Furniture Elimination. We have already called “Dibs” on all rights to the idea for the sport, so no stealing!   This week on the podcast, Theo and Will talk about compliments that changed our behavior, Theo investigates the history of horny corporate account Tweets sparked by Nutter Butters’ recent thirst posts, Will and Theo interview Will’s friend Althea who details her idea for… Competitive Furniture Building? We get into rules, terminology,  corporate crossovers, and the Home Improvement Xtreme (HIX) Games. And Will goes into the history of the legendary “Furry Trout”!   Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

This hog is going to MESS UP YOUR DAY! He’s fully kitted — glasses? Check. Beer? Check. Nunchucks? You better believe that’s a check. This week on the podcast Will discovers Theo is a Scooby Doo villain when they discuss collecting masks. Theo runs through 2022’s hottest food themed pet names, and then brings Will down underground to visit the Taxidermy Shop. Will has a review of the hit blockbuster “Stop! Or my Mom Will Shoot!” which you won’t want to miss, and then talks us through some truly uncomfortable Furby glitches. Email us at Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

What do we know about Mark Wahlberg? Well, he’s from Boston. And that must mean he loves a good tea party. And that he loves Dunkin’. Oh, and of course that he has a troubled past and is struggling with inner demons. On this week’s show, Will and Theo discuss a recent trip in which they witnessed the world’s biggest jump, Theo brings an edition of ‘Is this the Onion?’ and a synopsis of critically acclaimed movie ‘Zombeavers’. Will reads a typical manuscript of any movie set in Boston, and tells us about the great Spaghetti Tree Hoax. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Craigslist Missed Connections Ad: Man L4 Rotisserie Chicken that got away. 39 others did not, but can’t stop thinking about it. Bring me a rotisserie chicken and you may Observe the Consumption.    This week on the podcast, the boys talk about how Will is getting better at conversation, Theo tells a tale about a modern Icarus who ate 40 chickens over 40 day and put up posters to advertise him eating the 40th one on an old pier, Will goes over a newstory of a fake bomb threat at their alma mater Northeastern University, Theo takes Will back to the “Texidermy Shop” to show off “Mickey Mouse” (who is definitely not a Mickey Mouse rip off), a frontier mouse, and a spooky low quality graveyard mouse threatened by a big hand, and Will regales us with the story of New Zealand’s 1930s exploding pants epidemic. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Hey man, stop being such a harsh realm and ruining all the grunge vibes. Wait what? These aren’t real terms? But I read the New York Times! This week on the podcast Will takes us through the wild (and definitely true) glossary of terms used in the grunge music scene. Theo placates our deepest Thanksgiving fears thanks to the Butterball corporation, and brings a Wikipedia Historian segment about the wild history of Palisade, Nevada. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

“Hey kids! Are you ready to eat the newest and nastiest food condiment from your favorite naughty card game company, Cards Against Humanity?” “NO!” “Haha great! And it even includes a special prize inside for whoever can reach it first…!” This week on the podcast, Will and Theo talk visit iwaspoisoned.com which features all your food poisoning needs including user reports of when and where they got sick, Theo goes over Cards Against Humanity’s latest publicity stunt: Clam-O-Naise! The disgusting flavored mayo of yore (and by that I mean they gaslit Helman’s, the famed mayo company, into thinking they produced it at one point) and hid a card pack in each jar. Riffle through that mayo, kids! And if you’re lucky, you’ll get a card with a naughty word on it! Will then takes us through the history of Slimer and how he got his trademark disgusting look and Theo recounts the time people were worried about the deadly effects of Haley’s Comet in 1910. And Will goes over some leftover Halloween “Amazon Erotica” including the “Monsters Ever After” series. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

So you’ve decided to pop in, have you? Do you know what day it is? Well, probably not Halloween day as of you listening to this episode, but close enough! Prepare for extra special Halloween segments! This week on the podcast, Will walks us through the story of the Bell Witch, an apparition reported to have been so real as to even kill someone! Theo brings a collection of goofy scary movies, as well as a report of the largest pumpkin grown this year, and an interview with Halloween’s most hated villain: raisins. And finally, Will caps it off, of course, with a Halloween Amazon Erotica. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Turns out, Loch Ness monster was an not a spooky spirit, but a beautiful angel that immediately emerged ad destroyed the priest for his blasphemy with angelic rays of light coming out of its mouth   This week on the podcast, the boys talk about Jerry Seinfeld’s new Kith streetwear collection, Will continues his investigation into the documentary “Hellier” by going over some contrasting reviews of the show, goes over some strange theories in the book  “The Goblin Universe”, and goes into a real reported Goblin story that made its mark in American folklore as the “Hopkinsville Goblins”! And finally, Theo brings us into the unsolved mystery of what happened to Michael Rockefeller when he was on an anthropological mission to study the people of New Guinea.   Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

You look like you ain’t from around here… What? You never seen a rat ridin’ a chicken? This is perfectly natural! God made rat, and then he made a beast for the rat to ride around on, simple as that. In this episode, Will is once again visited by the taxidermist who tempts him with some amazing deals. Theo and Will discuss the merits of S’mores Pepsi flavors, and Will brings a segment about the reality TV show Black/White and another about Kentucky Goblins. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

There are a lot of reasons to get married. Love. Convenience. Gaining political power. But to make people drive hours to your hastily constructed marriage (despite having years to plan it, like a kid getting his project done the night before it's due) because you want the tax breaks for being married! Uncool. At least it had an open bar…   This week on the podcast, Theo and Will talk about Will’s dentist lamentations, Theo talks about a suspected professional chess cheating scandal using a very… interesting method, Will recounts a wedding he went to that featured funeral music, a partying bartender, and drunk mom interrogations, and Theo highlights “Wheel of Fugitive” in which a Sheriff selects a “Fugitive of the Week” using a game show wheel that, unsurprisingly, is facing controversy.   Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Living within you there are two wolves. One loves to eat raw meat. The other thinks maybe that’s not such a great idea since while they do live within you, they know humans aren’t suited to doing that. This week Theo recounts a few stories from his recent trip to Norway, and discusses the merits of Kevin Hart’s new plant based restaurant. He also has a new sub-topic of In the News which we’re calling, Boy This Individual Really Went Off the Rails. Will Has a report of millennials sunning their perennials, and a raw meat influencer who’s making it happen. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Do you think Kenny Loggins knew that his hit song would be the basis of a joke about an alfredo based traffic incident? Probably not. Did he know it would be used to show shirtless dudes playing volleyball and promoting the Air Force. Honestly, probably.    This week on the podcast, the boys talk about the uselessness of Citronella candles, Will’s recent death defying trip the Acadia National Park, Theo shares the story of a jerk who won an art contest with an AI generated art work, Will goes over the news of a truck transporting Alfredo sauce covering a highway in the creamy sauce and New York residents being carded for whip cream aerosol cans, Theo goes over the bold and bad new product: Cold dogs aka hot dog ice cream (and they didn’t commit because the cowards didn’t even make it completely hot dog flavored, it is partially chocolate flavored), and Will goes over a complex tale involving a boozy cookie business, an insane news reporter, and an affair that led to the resignation of Anchorage’s mayor.   Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Have you ever sat next to an alien on the bus? Maybe they whispered a secret in your ear, offering you advanced medical technology available to the public? Maybe you then decided you would use that totally real experience to start a cult? In this week’s episode Theo brings a segment on the latest creation of Papa Johns, the “Papa Bowl” and revisits those old commercials where the guy put his social security number on the side of a truck, remember that? Will has a Wikipedia historian on snail racing and a news story of the supposed Canadian “Q Anon Queen” who apparently thought trying to arrest the police was a good idea. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Are you sure you’re TOUGH and MACHO enough for this OOOOOZE?! Well, just rub it on your groin and it will give you the toughest thing of all: CANCER! This week on the podcast, Theo and Will talk about the Theo’s disastrous tasting of lobster ice cream, not knowing other people’s pooping habits, Theo begins his eternal “Pumpkin Spice Watch” where he goes into some wacky pumpkin spice flavored foods (and other products), Will goes over the strange Tumblr archetype of the “Tumblr Sexyman” aka sexifying a villainous character into a skinny white boy (even if they aren’t one in their original form) including the Onceler, Bill Cypher, and the clock from “Don’t Touch Me I’m Scared”, Theo asks Will “Is This ‘The Onion’?” with stories of Congressmen promising not to eat dog penis again (again?!), the new company BroSludge selling Orange Guck for men’s genitals, and trying to run over a child with a Tesla to show it can’t run over a child, and Will goes over some extremely good animals that have diplomas (usually in an effort to catch fraud but it’s still cute).   Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

In this week’s episode, Theo and Will start off by discussing  if the MCU is due to collapse. Will shares the latest in Candy Corn innovation, and updates us on the latest Florida Man happenings. Theo takes us through the continued drama surrounding Papa Johns and their insane former CEO. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

“Sadly, there will be extra time in the ball pit. Not because there is time slot system, but because it’s deflating. Oh and someone pissed in it. No refunds.” This week on the podcast, the boys talk about “This American Life” unironically doing the same story as our “This American Life” parody (check out that parody in Episode 100), Will’s recent night cramps, what media bums us out, Theo asks “What Does This Rap Lyric Mean?” about “Fourth Chamber” by Ghost Face Killah and “Diet Coke” by Pusha T, Will continues his investigation into Pornhub’s Yearly Insights including statistics about how holidays and national events affect site traffic, Theo talks about Fancy Feast’s new limited (human) restaurant “Gatto Bianco”, and Will takes us back in time to recount the disaster that was DashCon, the first (and only) Tumblr fan convention.   Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

COME ON DOWN TO DANNY’S BIG GAME WAREHOUSE WE GOT ALL THE SWEET DEER AND JUNK THOSE HUNTERS GO CRAZY FOR YOU CAN WRITE THIS AS A BUSINESS EXPENSE OK BYE NOW This week on the podcast Will and Theo ponder the nature of friendship and come away the closer for it. Theo brings another installment of Food Drama, this time featuring some favorite Disney characters, as well as bringing Will back to the Taxidermy shop. Will brings a whole bunch of year end stats for you nasty folks from PornHub detailing the global trends. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Worth it.  This week on the podcast, Theo and Will talk about their favorite sauces, Starbucks’ failing chicken sandwich, the boys disagree about how good the Reese’s Big Cup with Potato Chips sounds, Theo goes over the mysterious and conspiratorial history of the Denver International Airport, and Will takes us into the SpOoOkY “Monsterous Matches” series by Lilian Lark including “Stalked By the Kraken”, “Deceived By Gargoyles”, and “Entranced By the Basilisks”. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

As a world we’re seeking alternative energy sources, but one often overlooked option is Pure Bean Energy. This is a clean energy source entirely produced by when someone has an overwhelming desire to stockpile beans in the case of disaster. This week on the show, Theo and Will discuss their favorite summertime activities, and Will takes us through a Wikipedia Historian covering the Lizard Man Constant. Theo brings a report of food related relationship drama, as well as a deep dive on the failed Broadway show Spider-man: Turn Off the Dark. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

“I’m the one who knocks… and tells you that your antivirus software needs to be renewed. Does anyone have some meth?” This week on the podcast, the boys talk about hot/cold weather people, some of their best and worst jobs, Theo takes us through the insane life of John McAfee from his founding of the antivirus software that bears his name to his multiple failed presidential runs to his inevitable arrest, and Will takes us through the very strange Dylatov Pass Incident in which a group of Soviet hikers died in mysterious circumstances that have led to equally strange conspiracy theories!   Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

In Earth, Wind, and Fire’s hit song “Fantasy” the lyrics begin:
 Every man has a place, in his heart there's a space And the world can't erase his fantasies This is of course referring to name brand orange juice which millennials can only dream of one day affording. We hope to eventually get there. In this week’s episode, Theo brings food news regarding eating various foods in the shower, and a report of a man who beat a horse in a foot race. Will shares news of a man who inadvertently consumed enough pot gummies to pass out, and one of the grossest Amazon eroticas to date.   Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

It’s a bit of a cliché, isn’t it? The mad scientist killed by their hubris in a very literal way by their own invention. It is not a universal thing though. I mean, the guy who made the whoopie cushion hasn’t been launched into space from one exploding. So maybe these scientists should be working less on things that can explode at any point and work more on fart based engineering.   This week on the podcast, the boys talk about a wedding Will recently went to, tall discrimination, some “As Seen on TV” products (including one fake one) including the “Potato Express”, “Cream Fast”, and “EZegg”, Will goes over some inventors that were killed by their own inventions, Theo goes over the history of the “Norwegian Butter Crisis”, and Will lists the top 10 “Florida Man” stories of 2020.   Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Mariah Carey wants a lot of things for Christmas, and first and foremost should be a pizza cookbook because apparently she has no idea what goes into making a pie. This week on the show Theo brings an article about Pepsi’s newest offense to mankind — Pepsi-roni Pizza, and also takes us back down to visit the Taxidermy shop. Will also comes bearing pizza news, about the Pizza Cupcake which promises to reinvent the delicious pie. We’re still wondering if it needed reinventing. He also has a great selection of Amazon erotica to explore. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Yes, this is an unofficial index. Yes, it is used by a government agency. No, it is not the Waffle House Committee for Indecent Syrup Usage. And no, it is not for how much gastro-intestinal distress you will be in post waffle house trip, nor how drunk you have to be to go to Waffle House at 2am.    This week on the podcast, Theo and Will talk about liking their body odor, stories from a Steampunk festival Will went to, Theo tells the tale of Johan de Witt who was a Dutch prime minister and the “Year of Disaster” (aka the “Year of Pants”) under his rule and his grizzly fate, Will goes over some strange syndromes and metrics including “Uncombable Hair Syndrome”, “The Truman Show Syndrome”, and “The Waffle House Index”, Theo goes over why Taco Bell’s Mexican Pizza Tik Tok Musical is an insult (at least to the person who wrote the article).   Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

“Excuse me sir, I think you may have accidentally taken my coffee — they called the name ‘Leader of the Party, the country, and the Army’ and that’s me.” “WHAT?! How dare you insult me! This is an OUTRAGE! The only way to settle this… is with a balloon duel!” “Uh I just wanted my coff—“  “BALLOON DUUUEEEELLLLL” This week on the show, Theo brings forward the ongoing controversy surrounding the ‘vein’ on a Snickers bar, and Will tells the tale of Frenchmen balloon dueling. Also, Theo quizzes Will on his knowledge of Snoop Dogg, and Will lists all of Kim Jong-il’s titles (there are a ton). Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

“This Sunday’s Eucharist has a great flavor profile. Notes of… crispy cracker with a hint of… nutmeg? Or is that just the flavors of our Savior? 10/10, great work Christ.”   This week on the podcast, the boys talk about lemonade stand boys, what strange food combinations we don’t get, Theo asks “Are They the A**hole?” with stories from r/ AmITheA**hole with stories of fake drunkenness to avoid babysitting and a bratty bride who doesn’t allow plus ones to her wedding, Will takes us back in time to when Pepsi once owned the 6th largest army in the world, Theo takes us into the nightmare news that Jerry Seinfeld’s Pop Tart Movie is happening, and Will gets dark, spooky, and a lot naughty with “Amazon Erotica” where he covers the “Gang of Ghouls” series by Eva Chase where a wacky, cooky, crazy woman with her 4 ghost lovers go on a murder spree while being little bit ghoulish *winky face* Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

This week on the podcast Theo and Will ponder hunky esports athletes and Theo tests Will with a game of Is This the Onion? featuring Criminal Mischief and talks through the Pusha T and Arby’s collab no one was asking for. Will brings a Wikipedia Historian about the moan heard around the world, and quizzes Theo on the best games made for each console generation. Email us at [email protected] Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ