When I hear people talk about trust in the workplace, I get concerned because we make it sound like something we can create for another. But that leaves us dependent on other people and creates situations where people end up waiting to be offered something. When you say there is a lack of trust in your organization, is it due to leadership or due to your own choices? That's what I want to get into today. Whether or not you trust someone has a lot to do with you.

When you are blaming others for your circumstances and not taking control of your own actions, that is when your ego really comes out swinging. And I want to get into today one of the major factors of blame, something I like to call learned helplessness. Learned helplessness is the opposite of accountability, and personal accountability is the death of the ego. And we all know that when you ditch your ego, it allows for growth and collaboration.

In today's episode, I want to talk about conflict. As a researcher, I've spent so many hours dissecting and trying to understand conflict and why it happens. What I've found is this: so much of the time, the root cause of conflict is ambiguity. And a leader's job is to facilitate clarifying conversations. Listen in for more on this and what else I've discovered are the best ways to fix it.

In today's episode, I talk about why you should live your life with great expectancy instead of expectations. There's a big difference, so I want you to dive into it with me and see how drastically different it can make your day-to-day.

Accountability: it's a topic I bring up a lot because I believe it is one of the most misunderstood words in today's workplace. How do you measure for it? What is the end goal? And how do you introduce it to your company? I sat down with Jackie Froendt from Home Instead Senior Care to talk about all these things and so much more. Sidenote: we were meeting to film my new Facebook Watch show, Life's Messy Live Happy! Check out my Facebook to tune in to that as well.

With the holidays approaching, and the added stress that can come with them, I thought I'd focus on one big topic of mine today: that suffering is completely optional. I don't say this to be insensitive or trite - it's just that so much of our suffering comes from stories we make up in our own heads and not reality. In today's episode, I'll show you tools you can use to fix that and be stress-free this holiday season.  

In this week's episode, I answer the often asked question, “How do I make someone change?” with a surprising answer. You can’t make anyone do anything - but, you can stop enabling them. When you stop enabling your teammates, it 's the quickest way to ensure that their relationship with reality is a direct one and that they have the best information possible with which to make better decisions. 

I got wind of a fan who was starting their own Reality-Based leadership Revolution at their company so I surprised them with a phone call. We managed to capture the conversation and get great tips on how to start from where you are, even if it's not a company-sanctioned program.

In this episode, the last of the exclusive book club calls, I talk about why I believe our approach to change management has been one of the biggest fuels of drama in the workplace. We are asking ourselves, how can change be least disruptive to our team? But what we should be asking is: how can we make change least disruptive to our business? By making sure our teams are always ready for what's next.

Another great episode for you guys today - last month I hosted a number of informal, exclusive, member-only chats for everyone in my book club. Excited to share the second one with you all now, just for my podcast listeners! Listen in.

In this episode, I'm switching things up a bit! Recently I had an exclusive call with all the members of my No Ego Book Club where I talked for a bit and answered questions. But the content was so good, I am now releasing it here for all of you to hear as well! Enjoy.

For this episode today, I want to go a little bit deeper into how exactly you can get your team to understand what great looks like quickly. How can you say to your team with confidence "Go be great"?

In episode 5, I tell a story from my time as a leader in the healthcare system working with nurses. A nurse came to me and asked to speak with me and I knew venting was coming, thus I used one of my favorite techniques for self-reflection and getting people back on track: I called her up to greatness. If there's one question I ask people to get them out of ego and into self-reflection, it's this.

In today's podcast, I talk about one of the core philosophies of my reality-based leadership: stop judging, start helping. It's integral for an organization to understand this to function without drama. Tune in and see how you can apply it to your workplace. 

This episode today is about what I believe to be my greatest idea, the discovery that I feel is my biggest contribution to society. That idea is this: happiness isn't something we pursue, it's our natural state once drama is gone. Listen to this episode for the full story.   

Today, I want to talk about a concept called "Co-Creation". Most of us don't know we have the access to it and how important of a resource it can be in our day to day life. 

Your ego narrates the world in your favor. This means you're always getting a distorted interpretation of reality. Learn how to get mentally flexible and stop believing everything you think.

In our culture we often try shoulder through adversity and difficulty with a focus on “mastery” - how can I figure it out, master the skills required, and move through what is happening in a way that limits my pain? In this episode, one of my suggestions is that a great counterbalance is to focus on building the emotional and mental muscle required to live in the mystery of the moment and the times. I discuss ways to use current experiences to evolve one’s capacity to do challenging things that ultimately lead to great peace and happiness in life like “letting go” and creating space for the creative to arrive. If you want to up your game personally and professionally, you don’t want to miss my new program the Life’s Messy, Live Happy Group starting in October. A year-long experience filled with monthly group experiences, exclusive new content, and a ton of new ways to explore your internal world and grow beyond your past abilities. Don’t miss out, get registered now and bring your friends and colleagues. Register in the link below! info.realitybasedleadership.com/lmlh)

Think great connections that add value can’t happen virtually – think again. Maha Abouelenein, now Chief Value Officer at Vaynermedia, slipped into Cy’s DM’s, brought her to Egypt and the two have been creating value together ever since. In this episode, Maha shares the path to success isn’t about going after what you want – it is adding value to others and then watch what happens. She shares great tips for communicating in a virtual world, redesigning your own value proposition and informs you that you have a personal brand whether you intend to or not. Join us for great tips on how to not only survive world crisis but on how to impact the world in crisis. If you would like support and guidance in rounding out your mastery of the competencies that we will need going forward to not only lead, but to live peacefully and happily in the newest normal, check out my new offering – Life’s Messy, Live Happy Group. No need to wait for me to speak at your organization or a conference near you – I am coming to you directly, with all new content, new assignments for self-reflection and all in a community of Reality-Based Leaders who want to not only stay relevant but be ready to contribute to teams and lives in significant ways.  Check out the link below! info.realitybasedleadership.com/lmlh

This week I continue my reflections and teachings on gratitude even when life is messy. I share how my gratitude practice evolved from just counting my blessings to counting everything as a blessing. Being thankful is a wonderfully positive way to live and definitely increases level of happiness. Transcending beyond duality and accepting impermanence, I share the key to gratitude in these times, OUR times. You may not be able to find gratitude for what is happening in our world but you can be grateful in every moment it is happening and step up and co-create a new reality for our future. If you would like support and guidance in rounding out your mastery of the competencies that we will need going forward to not only lead, but to live peacefully and happily in the newest normal, check out my new program – Life’s Messy, Live Happy Group. No need to wait for me to speak at your organization or a conference near you – I am coming to you directly, with all new content, new assignments for self-reflection and all in a community of Reality-Based Leaders who want to not only stay relevant but be ready to contribute to teams and lives in significant ways. Check it out in the link below! info.realitybasedleadership.com/lmlh

These may be challenging, unprecedented times, but these are OUR times. Cy flies solo in the podcast and makes the call to greatness for all of us - let what is happening in our world and in your life evolve you, as a leader and as a human. Cy reveals the focus on her newest book, Life’s Messy, Live Happy and challenges us all to a personal evolution. Gratitude is more than a list, more than counting our well-deserved blessings, it goes deeper, leading us to get in touch with our privilege and the gifts of others in our lives. Going deep into gratitude can fuel our own giving as we pay forward in the personal and specific ways we were helped. Gratitude can be your path to impacting the world beyond giving where you can. BIG NEWS! I am revealing an exciting new opportunity to go deep with me in the Life’s Messy, Live Happy Group beginning in October 2020.  Check out the opportunity at this link: INFO.REALITYBASEDLEADERSHIP.COM/LMLH

A big topic of discussion today is if accountability is still relevant. I continue to answer fan questions about fostering accountability while also empathizing with challenging circumstances face by many. I reveal my own take on how Leadership Development and Training will need to be modernized, innovative approaches in HR policy and practices to support parents working while supervising kids at home and practical tips for helping managers adapt to leading virtual work teams. Towards the end, I discuss the true drivers of motivation to succeed in today's reality. Ask me your questions in the link below! https://share.hsforms.com/1a49pq87BSTeMkAD7GXKNMQ4mjbd

I return to you all with a solo episode to respond to the many questions from leaders wondering if accountability is still relevant in times of crises.  The answer - absolutely - in fact fostering accountability is the key to growing teams and evolving people into high value talent today and in the future. Accountability and empathy are not mutually exclusive and accountability doesn’t have to hurt. I advocate for increasing the support rather than lowering the standards and as always, give listeners great practical guidance for how to care about your people, honor their unique circumstances in their lives AND call them to greatness. Get your tickets for the Ditch The Drama Tour - Now Virtual! on August 28, 2020: https://registration.sonburst.com/cywakeman/virtualroadshow

Sarah Morgan of Buzzaroony LLC - an HR consultant, coach, speaker, writer and request guest on the No Ego Podcast gives her practical advice direct from the frontlines in HR - for returning teams to work and supporting those who have never left. Sarah provides some fantastic food for thought, “Can the rush to get back to “normal” become more disruptive than the current WFH arrangement?" Join us to know what is helping and hindering businesses as they face major decisions about how to work in the near future and get some great strategies to customize your employee support efforts to the specific situations at hand. Plus, a special code to get a discount on a coveted seat at Sarah’s upcoming HROI Summit - hint: NOEGO is all you need. Get your tickets! https://www.eventbrite.com/e/hroi-summit-tickets-112327494560 Register for my very own Ditch The Drama Tour - Now Virtual! Save the date August 28th. You do not want to miss this amazing opportunity. Get your tickets here! https://registration.sonburst.com/cywakeman/virtualroadshow  

I gave my good friend and mentor Steven Matthew Adams a ring to get his best strategies on living peacefully and happily as the world remains on lock down. Steven is an internationally-celebrated author,  keynote speaker and self-actualization coach, based in NYC, whose mission it is to help others live the lives they were meant to live even when the world seems to be falling apart. Listen in for a great conversation about what the pandemic is revealing to us and our suggestions for ensuring that we all emerge from our time at home an evolved person with higher levels of consciousness and insight.  And if you love what you hear from Steven, check out his book, “On the Way” available on Amazon. Get your tickets to the Ditch the Drama Tour 2020 - Now Virtual on August 28, 2020! https://www.realitybasedleadership.com/dtd2020/

Doug Claffey, Founder and Chief Strategy Officer at Energage joins Cy to share some surprising research results on employee engagement during the world health crisis. Bottom line -  it appears that the Top Workplaces get even better in the midst of a crisis. Cy and Doug unpack the research in the increase of engagement levels since COVID-19 hit and working from home became the new norm. Curious to find out what is driving increased employee engagement? Here is a hint - great communication, high levels of appreciation, and frequent connections. Tune in to hear lessons learned that will help drive engagement and great culture regardless of organizational challenges. The Ditch The Drama Tour - Now Virtual | August 28th, 2020 Get your tickets and register now! https://www.realitybasedleadership.com/dtd2020/

This episode with Sasha Shillcutt, MD is FILLED with great strategies to finding joy, even in the midst of the pandemic. Join in to learn how we use over-functioning, mental escapes, self-soothing, and hustle to keep ourselves from our greatest insights and future growth.  Learn to stay curious, get still and stop deferring happiness as Cy and Sasha share their own personal revelations that emerged during the World Health Crisis. Register/Sign up and find more information on the Ditch The Drama Tour. You do not want to miss this opportunity! https://registration.sonburst.com/cywakeman/virtualroadshow https://www.realitybasedleadership.com/dtd2020 Follow Sasha Shillcutt, MD (@becomebraveenough) and Register for her Elevate Summit in the link below! https://braveenough.mykajabi.com/brave-enough-elevate-summit  

Dear Cy has returned to Season 3 as Cy responds to listeners emails on their current challenges. In response to a great email from a fan asking for ways to immediately impact racial equity at work, Cy invited Pam Bourne, Employment attorney and friend to share ideas for where to begin. Cy and Pam talk openly about their own realizations of their own racism and ignorance along with concrete ideas to turn awareness into action at work for leaders and HR. Listen in to hear how you can act the part of leader ally at work.  To send me a letter or ask me your questions, click on this link! https://share.hsforms.com/1a49pq87BSTeMkAD7GXKNMQ4mjbd Register for the HROI Summit! https://mailchi.mp/137ae04a4814/register-now-for-the-hroi-summit?e=[UNIQID]

Recently I've been reminded of Post-Traumatic Growth and our ability to transform after some pretty difficult experiences. Many are wondering at this time in our history if we will recover, not just economically but as a team and as a nation. We have proven to be a resilient human race throughout history and studies. Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG) suggest that not only we will recover, but we will demonstrate the immense human capacity for resiliency and growth. Cy calls for leaders to instill hope in their teams, calling for the ability to imagine many beautiful and positive outcomes so that we can emerge from the traumas of the past months as better humans and more cohesive teams. Leaders need to facilitate not just surviving, but profound growth that will fuel the creation of a better workplace. I have two assignments for you this week: #1. Sit down and spend time with the envisioning of many possible positive outcomes. #2. Find ways to commit to them without attachment.

On this past weekend from the 4th of July, I reflected a lot on Freedom - the ultimate pursuit for many.  I recount how Independence Day  changed in meaning to me and my family to become Interdependence Day. I call on all of you to reflect on how the ego coopts our accomplishments meant to bring us freedom and uses it to “imprison” us. Join in and learn why we can become prisoners of our own minds and how inquiry can regain mental freedom which fuels great leadership.

As leaders, we are being stretched to use get fluent in a variety of new competencies and this week, I will be going deep into the art of “Holding Space” in order to maximize the impact our current world can have on the evolution of you and your team.  On this episode I deliver an advanced lesson in going beyond ego in response to a trend in the questions being sent in, “How should I handle the tough conversations that need to happen at work?’  Leaders are looking for what to do and how to do it right when it comes to addressing the conversations happening in the world as they are brought to work.  Here’s the reality, jumping directly into action is premature.  Now is the time to ensure that many are being heard and that is at times uncomfortable. 

I believe resilience is one of the most important competencies we can develop as individuals and businesses if we want success, peace, and happiness. For businesses, it's about keeping people ready for what's next, preparing them with the skills & mindsets to tackle challenging circumstances. For individuals, it's about how you curate your life, build your networks, how you respond to disruption and uncertainty. And you'll love hearing my research on what the most resilient people had in common.

During stressful times or big change, have you noticed that it’s easier to get our feelings hurt, and we are quickly triggered by the actions or words of others? This is your ego in play! In this episode, we’re going to talk about how to respond when your feelings get hurt, which involves understanding our triggers, moving beyond judgment and setting boundaries. We’ll also talk about how negative thoughts and shaming can overtake our thinking. Loving this podcast? Please tell me what you think by dropping a rating and a review!

This week I am sharing a conversation I had on Facebook Live about resilience. I think many of us are learning a lot about ourselves since this pandemic started about our own resiliency and the resiliency of our team. I get asked all the time about how to teach teams how to be more resilient. I'll address all of this and more in this episode. Loving this podcast? I'd love to hear from you! Leave me a rating and a review.

This is a special episode I am reposting this week as it deserves to be heard again at this very difficult time in our country. It's a conversation with a great friend of mine in the HR world, Sarah Morgan of @thebuzzonhr. Her Leading in Color podcast, blog and #BlackBlogsMatter challenge are amazing and I appreciate her work to evolve HR practitioners and workplaces everywhere. The topic of our conversation is about a blog she wrote: "What's in an Ally?" and the 5 things that make you an ally and how to deal with tough issues surrounding diversity and inclusion at work. Resources: Blog: https://bit.ly/2k25yOG Book: We Can't Talk About That at Work: https://amzn.to/2kgevnK Book: Me and White Supremacy: https://amzn.to/2kgeEaM

This week, we’re going to a more vulnerable place. We’re going to talk about things or people in your life you are feeling resentment towards, or are feeling a large degree of frustration or annoyance with. Have you noticed this in yourself lately? You'll hear real experiences from my fans both in work and personal settings, and I'll share how to reframe your thinking and move forward. Have a question you want me to answer? Submit it anonymously here. 

Let’s talk about accountability. Do you think this is a taboo topic right now with your team or co-workers? Here’s the secret folks. We can cultivate accountability with our people AND show a lot of empathy. This episode is all about how to call our teams and co-workers to greatness in spite of what is happening in our world now. Remember: Reality is tough; Leadership is love. Loving this podcast? Leave me a rating and a review! I’d love to hear from you!

I have an important topic to cover this week that I think many of us are feeling right now or have felt at some point during this pandemic: anxiety. Most of us blow right by anxiety and right into behaviors, denying those feelings, or avoiding the work to process it. I'm going to challenge you to notice where anxiety has showed up in your life right now. Then I'll share how to better understand your anxiety and work through it. Have a question you want me to answer on an upcoming podcast? Submit it anonymously here: https://bit.ly/35jTfiX

This week, I want to talk about how we can hold space for others, widen our perspective of what others are going through, and not allow our ego to make quick judgments right now. I also want to discuss how we can make what I call repair attempts (AKA: mulligans, do-overs, making amends!) when we screw up. Join me on Facebook Live this week on Thursday, May 14 at Noon CST. https://bit.ly/2SNhEcy

Boy, are we learning a lot about ourselves and others during this quarantine! Have you stopped to notice and pay attention? This podcast is all about listening to what you have discovered about yourself during this time. What has been better? What has been worse? What has surprised you? The more we tune into how this time has changed us, the more we can grow. Ask me your questions on this week's Facebook Live on Thursday, May 7, 12:00 PM CST: https://bit.ly/3d05ox1

Today's podcast is a rapid-fire of questions all related to how we're doing - emotionally - during this pandemic. No two people are experiencing this pandemic alike. While some have too much time and feel lonely, others are overwhelmed and wish they had more time. Still, some others are losing their jobs and those they love most, causing incredible grief and stress. One thing is for sure is that we are getting a good lesson in how to process all of these emotions. I hope this episode will help you do just that. Join me on Facebook Live on Wednesday, April 29 for live Q&A: https://bit.ly/2Kw0GuN

Two themes are emerging for me in your pandemic questions this week: finding space for others and getting perspective. Our egos are flaring up right now and seeing insult where there isn't any, and we have to be ready to combat it. Q's answered: I am a nurse manager. How can I give good communication to my team and help them focus on the task at hand when there is so much fear, anxiety, and stress? My director is micro-managing me and not letting our team do our jobs. What are your tips for defusing my anger when I get unwanted feedback? Join me on Facebook Live this Thursday, April 23 12:00 PM CST

This week I'm answering 4 of your questions as we continue to find our way through this challenging time. My biggest hope is that you can find peace amidst the chaos. Questions answered: - I want to continue working from home, while my co-workers are at the office. How do I ask for what I need? - I feel anxious and distracted working at home right now. How can I refocus and get back to productive work? - I am extroverted and realize that I get a lot of my motivation and confidence from others. How can I nip that insecurity in the bud and stop being such people pleaser? - How can I help my team and co-workers rise above the chaos, drama, and anxiety and stay focused on the task at hand? Join me on Facebook Live this Thursday, 4/16 12:00 PM CST https://bit.ly/2Vkv7ca

This week, I'm back to answering your questions about surviving this pandemic: How can I deal with staff anger and resentment when they are now asked to account for their time at home? I see the benefit of routine, but how can we establish new routines that work for our current situation? I'm a nurse manager. How can I support my team who is angry about things out of our control? I'm fearful that our company is only thinking about short-term vs. planning for the long-term! Join me on Facebook Live this Tuesday & Thursday for live Q&A. https://bit.ly/34fnvf2

I'm going to pause on my current podcast series so I can come to you weekly with my thoughts, reflections, tips, and techniques for how to move through this time together successfully. How can we simply survive this time we have been given, or dare I say, thrive? I'm going to talk about two mantras that are so powerful for me right now: Love Wins & Evolve Yourself I'd love to hear your questions! What challenges are you facing? How can I help? Send me your questions anonymously here and I may answer it on an upcoming episode! 

I'd love to come to you as often as possible during this strange and confusing time. Right now, maybe you're like me and feeling A LOT of emotions. That's why I thought it would be important to talk about how to process these emotions and to not let them turn into your suffering. Please let me know in the comments if these are helpful and if you would like to see more! I'd love to hear from you.. what questions do you have for me? Submit yours anonymously here.

When you come into a new leadership role, it's common for your ego to come out to play. In this case, fear took over the ability to move to action, stories overrode facts, victims and villains were alive and well. But when you can move beyond your ego and fear, and give yourself some compassion, it's amazing how well you will be able to lead. Check out Steven's book, Along the Way Submit your Dear Cy Letter to me anonymously here! 

With the frequent updates and changes to our daily lives because of COVID-19, I am sure many of you are feeling uncertain, scared, or just not sure how to lead at this time. I wanted to share some thoughts about how I'm trying to move through this rapidly changing and uncertain world at this time, and I hope it helps you in some way.