Taking the time to reflect on our values and goals is an essential practice for living a meaningful life. By considering what is most important to us, we can gain a greater understanding of our place and purpose in this world. It can help us to determine what direction to go in and how to prioritize our time and energy. Reflecting on our values and goals can also help us to stay motivated and inspired as we work towards achieving them. Valerie Tiberius, Professor of Philosophy, is here to provide us with a practical look at how to define and fulfill our values and goals. Through illustrative examples from her book, What Do You Want Out of Life?: A Philosophical Guide to Figuring Out What Matters, Valerie guides us in finding our true purpose in life and how to get there. With her wise words and actionable advice, you’ll unlock the power to create the life you want and overcome obstacles to achieving it. Don't let this opportunity pass, take the chance to define your aspirations and make the most out of life! Listen and Learn:  How psychology and philosophy intertwine to improve well-being An introduction to values fulfillment theory of well-being and what it has to offer  Defining values and goals from a philosophical perspective Are some values better than other values? Managing conflict between competing goals Reinterpreting values When is it time to give up a goal that is important to you?  Strategies for figuring out your values and what you want out of life  How our moral values harmonize with our other values Real-world barriers that prevent us from realizing our goals  Resources:  Learn more about Valerie: https://www.valerietiberius.com/ Get Valerie’s book, What Do You Want out of Life?: A Philosophical Guide to Figuring Out What Matters: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780691240688 Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych, including Yael’s new book, Work, Parent, Thrive! Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! About Valerie Tiberius Valerie Tiberius is the Paul W. Frenzel Chair in Liberal Arts and Professor of Philosophy at the University of Minnesota. Her work explores the ways in which philosophy and psychology can both contribute to the study of well-being and virtue. She is the author of The Reflective Life: Living Wisely With Our Limits (Oxford 2008), Moral Psychology: A Contemporary Introduction (Routledge 2015), Well-Being as Value Fulfillment: How We Can Help Others to Live Well (Oxford, 2018), and What Do You Want out of Life?: A Philosophical Guide to Figuring Out What Matters (Princeton University Press, 2023). She has published numerous articles on the topics of practical reasoning, prudential virtues, well-being, and moral psychology, and has received grants from the Templeton Foundation and the National Endowment for the Humanities. She served as President of the Central Division of the American Philosophical Association from 2016-17. Related Episodes:  116. Building a Meaningful, Values-based Life with Jenna LeJeune 118. Moral Injury and Shame with Lauren Borges and Jacob Farnsworth 138. Exploring Existence and Purpose: Existentialism with Robyn Walser 192. Happier With Tal Ben-Shahar 238. Values During Times of Transition (with Us) 247. Find Your Unicorn Space with Eve Rodsky 275. Work, Parent, Thrive with Yael Schonbrun 280. Choose Growth with Scott Barry Kaufman Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We often form deep emotional relationships with things that are important to us, from cherished items to hobbies and more materialistic possessions. But why do we become so emotionally attached to the things that we love and how does this affect our lives? Here to delve deeper into the topic and talk about his book, The Things We Love: How Our Passions Connect Us and Make Us Who We Are, is author and expert on non-interpersonal love, Dr. Aaron Ahuvia. We explore the psychology of how passions shape our identity and connect us in meaningful ways, as well as offer advice for optimizing how we love and use our things to live more value-aligned lives. Listen and Learn:  Is the word 'love' accurate in describing how we feel, or is it just hyperbole? The parallels that exist in relationships between people and the relationships between people and the objects that they love  Why do we get more frustrated with objects we love than the people we love? The ability to love things isn't a flaw in human nature, but rather a useful trait Loving things can detract from loving people - how to find the balance  What can materialistic people do to love things more deeply? Letting go of objects that you are emotionally attached to How attachment styles with people translate to our attachment style with objects  Tips for using our things in more value-aligned ways Resources: Visit Dr. Aaron Ahuvia’s site for more on his work: https://thethingswelove.com/about-aaron/ Sign up for Aaron’s blog: https://thethingswelove.com/subscribe/ For even more insights on the things we love, check out Aaron’s article on Peace, Love, and Happiness (and Marketing): https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/peace-love-and-happiness-and-marketing Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych, including Yael’s new book, Work, Parent, Thrive! Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! About Dr. Aaron Ahuvia Dr. Aaron Ahuvia is the most widely published and cited academic expert on non-interpersonal love.  A scientific study listed him as one of the top 20 most influential scientists studying consumer behavior, out of thousands US researchers working on related topics. Dr. Ahuvia has been at the forefront of this research since he published the first major scientific study on this topic entitled I Love It! Towards a Unifying Theory of Love Across Diverse Love Objects, over twenty years ago. Professor Ahuvia has over 100 academic papers and conference presentations. His research has been quoted in Time, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Glamour, and major publications in Europe and Japan. Dr. Ahuvia has also appeared on public radio talk shows as well as popular Television shows such as the Oprah Winfrey Show. Related Episodes: Episode 196. The Neuroscience of Marketing with Matt Johnson and Prince Ghuman Episode 249. How to Be Single & Happy with Jenny Taitz  Episode 255. Influence is Your Superpower with Zoe Chance  Episode 281. Belonging Uncertainty and Bridging Divides with Geoffrey Cohen  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy New Year, dear listeners! As we begin this new year, it's a great time to start developing some new healthy habits. It may seem like a challenge, but we can do it! Let's make this year a time for taking care of ourselves and striving for the best version of ourselves. If you're serious about your health but don't feel the urge to jump out of bed, drag yourself to the gym, and reward your progress with a kale smoothie, this episode is for you! We all know what constitutes a healthy lifestyle, but it can be hard to stay consistent, especially when it feels like a chore! Join Debbie for an engaging discussion with Dr. Dayna Lee-Baggley, author of Healthy Habits Suck: How to Get Off the Couch and Live a Healthy Life….Even if You Don’t Want To, about evidence-based strategies on how to overcome the internal obstacles that make behavior change hard, and how to sustain lifelong healthy habits. Listen and Learn: Why healthy habits violate the hard-wiring of our “caveman brain” How linking health habits to values can make them more meaningful and build motivation The benefits of focusing on behaviors rather than outcomes to foster success What is a “smart goal” and how to make them work for you How to work with the thoughts and emotions that makes healthy habits hard Resources:  Visit Dayna's website: https://drleebaggley.com/about/ Listen to the interview Make the Most of Your Time with Laura Vanderkam mentioned in this episode here: https://offtheclockpsych.com/time/  Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych, including Yael’s new book, Work, Parent, Thrive! Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! About Dayna Lee-Baggley Dr. Dayna Lee-Baggley is a Registered Clinical Psychologist in Nova Scotia, British Columbia, Ontario and Alberta with reciprocal agreements for clients in Atlantic Canada and Quebec. For close to 15 years she worked as a Clinical Health Psychologist for medical, surgery, and cancer care units at the hospital. She has taken all this experience to open Dr. Lee-Baggley and Associates, a virtual health psychology clinic offering clinical interventions, training for healthcare providers, and educational courses on health related topics. She holds an Assistant Professor appointment in the Department of Family Medicine and a cross-appointment in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at Dalhousie University and an Adjunct Professor appointment in the Department of Industrial and Organizational Psychology at Saint Mary’s University. She is an internationally recognized trainer in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Related Episodes:  4. Habits: The Science of Behavior Change (Part 1) 5. From Awareness to Action: Behavior Change (Part 2)  43. Willpower With Kelly McGonigal  72. Committed Action with DJ Moran  132. The Joy Of Movement With Kelly McGonigal 167. Get Curious and Change Unhealthy Habits with Judson Brewer  215. How to Change with Katy Milkman 231. Eating Skills and Emotional Eating with Josh Hillis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Toxic positivity is a phenomenon that has become increasingly prevalent in recent years. It is characterized by the constant reinforcement of an overly optimistic attitude, to the point of ignoring, invalidating, or minimizing the hardships or feelings faced by individuals. This can create a sense of disconnect between people. It can also be detrimental to those struggling with mental health issues, as it invalidates their experiences and makes them feel like they are not allowed to have genuine emotions.  To address the concept and challenges of toxic positivity to individuals and relationships, we consulted Psychotherapist, Whitney Goodman. Walking us through her book aptly titled Toxic Positivity: Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy, Whitney helps us understand how to create an atmosphere of open communication, where people can be honest about their feelings without fear of judgment or invalidation. Listen and Learn:  Toxic positivity: what does it mean? The repercussions of toxic positivity  How toxic positivity can stunt creativity What does healthy non-toxic positivity look like?  Why has the concept of toxic positivity become so controversial?  How to avoid toxic positivity Toxic positivity in the workplace: challenges and solutions How do we let go of toxic positivity? The benefits and drawbacks of complaining Resources:  Learn more about Whitney on her site: https://sitwithwhit.com/ Grab your copy of Toxity Positivity: Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593418277 Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych, including Yael’s new book, Work, Parent, Thrive! Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! About Whitney Goodman Whitney Goodman, LMFT, is the radically honest psychotherapist behind the hugely popular Instagram account @sitwithwhit. She is also an author and the owner of The Collaborative Counseling Center, a virtual therapy practice in Florida. Whitney's debut book TOXIC POSITIVITY: KEEPING IT REAL IN A WORLD OBSESSED WITH BEING HAPPY, shows readers how to shift the goal from being happy to being authentic in order to live fully. A millennial on a quest to make mental health information accessible and easy to understand, Whitney helps people who want to improve their relationships and emotional wellness. She earned her undergraduate degree at Tulane University and a graduate degree in Counseling Psychology from The University of Miami. Whitney has a column in Psychology Today and has been featured in several publications, including The New York Times, Teen Vogue, NY Magazine, and Good Morning America.  Related Episodes: 168. Everyday Conversations: How Conversational Style Impacts Relationships with Deborah Tannen 179. How to Be An Adult in Relationships with Dave Richo 181. Stop Avoiding Stuff with Matt Boone 191. Conversations that Connect with AJ Harbinger 269. Connection Through Vulnerability with Rikke Kjelgaard 270. How Am I Doing? with Cory Yeager Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Belonging uncertainty is a common experience in social life. It is a feeling of not fitting into a particular social group or environment. People who experience this may feel like an outsider, isolated from those around them, or unable to connect with people in their environment. Professor of Psychology, Geoffery L. Cohen is here to remind us of the importance of fostering self-awareness to better understand our feelings and the actions we should take when faced with a sense of belonging uncertainty.  Geoffery's book Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides provides a fascinating look into the realm of social psychology and how it can be used to combat the daunting feeling of not belonging. Through Geoffery's knowledge and insight, you will gain a clear understanding of the changes that can be made to conquer feelings of belonging uncertainty. His work is invaluable in the effort to empower individuals to create strong, meaningful connections and build bridges of understanding and empathy. Listen and Learn:  The role of social psychology in turning everyday encounters into opportunities for understanding, connection, and growth An overview of Geoffery's research on social problems Belonging uncertainty unpacked  How social climate can contribute to certain behaviors  The concept of stereotype threat How can we cultivate a sense of belonging in the workplace What can be done to change that feeling of not belonging? The difference between perspective gathering and perspective taking Bridging the divide by helping people feel heard and understood Resources:  Geoffrey L. Cohen’s website: https://www.geoffreylcohen.com/ For more about Geoffery, check out his Stanford faculty page: https://ed.stanford.edu/faculty/glc  Get your copy of Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides here: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781324006183 About Geoffrey L. Cohen Geoffrey L. Cohen is a Professor of Psychology and the James G. March Professor of Organizational Studies in Education and Business at Stanford University. He is a social psychologist by training and received his PHD at Stanford and his BA at Cornell. Professor Cohen’s research examines the processes that shape people’s sense of belonging and self-concept, and the role that these processes play in various social problems. He has studied the big and small threats to belonging and self-integrity that people encounter in school, work, health care settings, politics, communities, and relationships. He and others have developed concrete, science-backed strategies to create more welcoming spaces for people from all walks of life. He believes that the development of psychological theory depends not just on descriptive and observational research but on theory-driven intervention. He has long been inspired by Kurt Lewin’s quip, “The best way to understand something is to try to change it.” Related Episodes:  51. The Psychology of Political Division with Yael and Debbie 96. Effective Conversations About Diversity with Anatasia Kim and Alicia del Prado 199. Belonging From the Inside Out with Meg McKelvie 234. The Power of Us with Dominic Packer 255. Influence is Your Superpower with Zoe Chance 262. Hope and Values in Dark Times with Us Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Striving for what you want in life can be difficult, especially when you find yourself in a stagnant situation or lack direction. However, with the assistance of Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, a Cognitive Scientist, and Humanistic Psychologist, you can learn how to implement the steps necessary to achieve your ambitions. Take a journey with us as we explore the life-changing work of Dr. Scott and Jordyn H Feingold in their new book, Choose Growth: A Workbook for Transcending Trauma, Fear, and Self-Doubt! This episode is full of empowering insights that will help you unlock your potential and create an inspiring new path for yourself. We talk about all kinds of exciting topics from reaching our goals through nontraditional paths, the growth that comes from embracing uncomfortable experiences, and the importance of finding the harmony between overusing and underusing your strengths. Listen and Learn:  Introduction to Scott and his many accolades  Scott's experience being featured in Oprah Winfrey's ‘The Life You Want Class’   Did Scott foresee bringing evidence-based psychology to such a broad audience at the start of his career?  Scott’s tips on achieving goals through non-traditional paths  The reason Scott wrote 'Choose Growth' now The importance of internal vs external locus of control  Reimagining Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs  The value in enduring uncomfortable experiences for growth and development The ways tribalism can hinder our growth and keep us stuck Passive, constructive responses are the worst way to respond to somebody's good news Healthy boundary setting  The link between healthy self-esteem and narcissism Finding the balance between overusing and underusing our strengths  Is it necessary to screen everyone for mental health? Resources: Article about Jonathan Haidt “tribalism” incident: https://reason.com/2022/09/30/mandated-diversity-statement-drives-jonathan-haidt-to-quit-academic-society/ Scott’s website: https://scottbarrykaufman.com/ Yael and Brad Stulberg’s article about Therapy versus Coaching: https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2022/05/05/therapist-coach-difference-choose/ About Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman Scott Barry Kaufman is a cognitive scientist and humanistic psychologist exploring the mind, creativity, and the depths of human potential. He is a professor at Columbia University and founder and director of the Center for the Science of Human Potential. Scott hosts the super popular The Psychology Podcast and uses his research to help all kinds of minds live a creative, fulfilling, and self-actualized life. He is the author and editor of 10 books including his newest, Choose Growth: A Workbook for Transcending Trauma, Fear, and Self-Doubt that he co-authored with Jordyn Feingold and that we’ll be discussing today. Welcome Scott!  Related Episodes:  34. Strengths, Goal Setting, and Grit with Alexis Karris Bachik 51. The Psychology of Political Division with Debbie and Yael 192. Happier with Tal Ben-Shahar 200. Growing Grit with Angela Duckworth 227. The Science of Happy with Sonja Lyubomirsky 234. The Power of Us with Dominic Packer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Racial trauma has been caused by centuries of discrimination and violence against African Americans; a legacy of injustice that has had a long-term impact on mental, emotional, and psychical well-being. While there is no one-size-fits-all approach to healing Black racial trauma; transformation and change are still possible. A powerful tool to help those who have been impacted by racism is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). We talk with Research Scientist and Clinician, Jennifer Shepard Payne who in her book, Out of the Fire: Healing Black Trauma Caused by Systemic Racism Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, offers a thorough examination of the application of ACT to the unique problems that African Americans face. Jennifer describes how she is culturally adapting traditional ACT practices, and how this therapy can help African American communities heal from generations of oppression. Listen and Learn: What motivated Jennifer to specialize in culturally tailoring Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for African American communities Why Jennifer wrote a book on healing Black Trauma  Jennifer's personal experience with racism as a Black woman in America What Jennifer thinks about the disparity in the current mental health system for African Americans Jennifer’s perspective on resilience in relation to Black racial trauma  What inspired Jennifer to pursue ACT, and how beneficial it can be in assisting African Americans who have suffered racial trauma The concept of Racial Battle Fatigue The importance of collective black values for the future Resources: Visit Jennifer's website to discover more about her: https://www.drjspayne.com/ Grab your copy of Jeniffer’s book: Out of the Fire: Healing Black Trauma Caused by Systemic Racism Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781684039883 Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych, including Yael’s new book, Work, Parent, Thrive!: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781611809657 Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! About Jennifer Shepard Payne Jennifer Shepard Payne, Ph.D., LCSW, is a Research Scientist and Clinician for the Kennedy Krieger Institute in the Center for Child and Family Traumatic Stress (CCFTS) and theCenter for the Neuroscience of Social Injustice. She is also an Assistant Professor in the John Hopkins University School of Medicine with a primary appointment within the Department of Psychiatry, Division of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. She serves as the coordinator of the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Clinical Services within the adult segment of CCFTS. Dr. Payne received her doctorate from the UCLA School of Public Affairs and is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with many years of experience in mental health clinical practice and administration. Her research interests include developing culturally tailored community-based depression and trauma interventions and addressing minority mental health disparities.  For several years, Dr. Payne has been working on culturally tailoring Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for African American communities experiencing racial trauma. She developed a culturally-tailored ACT intervention called POOF® and is training and consulting on the model: www.POOF-PullingOutOfFire.com. Additionally, she is a board member of MEND, an international organization of clinicians of color who are trauma-trained to help oppressed communities (www.mendminds.org). Her new book is called Out of the Fire: Healing Black Trauma Caused by Systemic Racism Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As we go through life, we all have experiences, both positive and negative, that shape who we are. Sometimes, we focus too much on the negative experiences and start to think "why me?". In order to counter this negative spiral, we can choose to focus on the positive and use this to empower ourselves. Instead, ask yourself "what now?". You can improve your outlook on life by changing your mindset. This in turn will help free yourself from limiting beliefs, heal and move forward.  With great admiration and gratitude, we welcome an inspiring mother-daughter duo, Dr. Edith Eger, and Dr. Marianne Engel who through their expertise as Clinical Psychologists, work together to promote healing, positivity, and personal growth. In this deeply personal, yet profound interview, we take a look at the learnings presented in the latest edition of Dr. Eger’s uplifting and actionable guide to healing, The Gift: 14 Lessons to Save Your Life.  Paralleled by lessons from the book, we also learn about Edith’s courageous story of surviving Auschwitz and finding her path to freedom, as well as Marianne’s own experience as the child of an immigrant parent and holocaust survivor, navigating marriage and raising children. Focusing on overcoming adversity, relationships, giving up shame, and living with purpose, we bring you a powerful and thought-provoking episode that inspires you to take on any obstacles life presents.  Listen and Learn:  The dangers of being a prisoner of your own mind Survivor vs. victim mindset  Why Marianne is grateful to her mother for shielding her from her painful past What drew both Edith and Marianne to the field of clinical psychology The best way to move towards readiness to confront trauma Holding your truth while relinquishing the need for power and control The importance of flexible thinking in relationships  Why Edith believes people should give up perfectionism How do we resist hating the haters, and we why should Edith and Marianne's tips for parents hoping to have close relationships with their children throughout their lives Resources:  To learn more about Edith, visit: https://dreditheger.com/ To learn more about Marianne, visit: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-engle-7b930a2b Check out Edith’s book, The Gift: 14 Lessons to Save Your Life: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781982143091 Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych, including Yael’s new book, Work, Parent, Thrive!: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781611809657 Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! About Edith Eger: Dr. Edith Eger is a sought-after clinical psychologist and lecturer who brings a message of healing and personal growth in her speaking and in her books The Choice and The Gift. She uses her past as a Holocaust survivor and thriver to inspire people to tap their full potential and shape their very best destinies regardless of their circumstances. It’s a message of CHOICE to move from recovery to discovery and beyond and encouragement to find the gifts of even the most painful situations.  About Marianne Engle: Dr. Marianne Engle, is Edith’s daughter and collaborator. Marianne is also a psychologist with training in sports psychology. As a child, Marianne watched her mother struggle in the aftermath of the Holocaust. In fact, Edith didn’t tell Marianne about her experiences in the Holocaust until Marianne discovered it by finding a book in her parent’s collection and put the pieces together.  Edith and Marianne are an inspiring mother-daughter duo working together to bring healing and positivity to the world and we’ll be focusing on messages offered in the newest edition of Dr. Eger’s book, The Gift: 14 Lessons to Save Your Life, which is colored with Marianne’s influence Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Finding moments of silence can be difficult in our chaotic, constantly-connected world. But, Justin Zorn and Leigh Marz, co-authors of ‘Golden: The Power of Silence in a World of Noise’, say it's worth the effort. Shedding light on the many dimensions of silence, Justin and Leigh explore how cutting through the clutter can lead to greater clarity, structure, and improved health in our lives. You'll discover how to transcend the noise and uncover a more fulfilling life and edified mind in the process. Listen and Learn:  What compelled Justin and Leigh to write a book on silence?  Silence: what is it and why does it matter? Silence vs. mindfulness The implications of auditory and informational noise in today’s modern world  What causes us to fear silence and how can we overcome it? The role silence plays in achieving clarity, awareness, and a better sense of connection    Shared silence magnifies its impact Practicing silence in the midst of chaos The importance of identifying noise and appreciating silence   Resources:  To learn more about Justin, visit: https://justinzorn.com/ To learn more about Leigh, visit: https://leighmarz.com/ Check out Justin’s and Leigh’s book, Golden: The Power of Silence in a World of Noise Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych, including Yael’s new book, Work, Parent, Thrive!  Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! About Justin Zorn: Justin Talbot Zorn has served as both a strategist and a meditation teacher in the US Congress. A Harvard-and-Oxford-trained specialist in the economics and psychology of human thriving, he has written for the Washington Post,The Atlantic, Harvard Business Review, Foreign Policy, and other publications. Justin is the coauthor of Golden: The Power of Silence in a World of Noise, published by HarperCollins in the US, Penguin/Random House in the UK, and globally in 11 other languages. He is cofounder of Astrea Strategies, a consultancy that bridges contemplation and action, helping leaders and teams envision and communicate solutions to complex challenges. Justin lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico, with his wife and three children. About Leigh Marz: Leigh Marz is a collaboration and leadership coach for major universities, corporations, and federal agencies as well as a longtime student of pioneering researchers and practitioners of the ritualized use of psychedelic medicines in the West. She has led training programs to promote an experimental mindset among teams at NASA and a decade-long cross-sector collaboration to reduce toxic chemicals in products, in partnership with Green Science Policy Institute, Harvard University, IKEA, Google, and Kaiser Permanente. Leigh is the coauthor of Golden: The Power of Silence in a World of Noise, published by HarperCollins in the US, Penguin/Random House in the UK, and globally in 11 other languages. She is the co-founder of Astrea Strategies. Leigh lives in Berkeley, California, with her husband and daughter. Related Episodes:  139. Neurodharma with Rick Hanson (Part 1) 140. Neurodharma with Rick Hanson (Part 2) 177. Mind-Body Practices for Stress and Overwhelm with Rebekkah LaDyne 201. Fierce Compassion with Kristin Neff 210. Strategies for Becoming Safely Embodied with Deirdre Fay 232. Grounded to Soar Into 2022 with Brad Stulberg 251. Wonder with Frank Keil Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Assertive communication is one of the most important skills when it comes to human relationships. Be it in the workplace, with family, or in friendships, it is a skill that you must learn to develop in order to communicate in ways that are respectful, clear, and effective. Without assertive communication, your goals will be difficult to meet. Joining us for this episode is Randy Paterson, Psychologist, Director of Changeways Clinic, and Author of The Assertiveness Workbook. Randy breaks down the significance of assertive communication and associated misconceptions, when assertiveness is not always the best approach, and the different communication styles you can use to confidently express your needs, wants, and opinions in your personal and professional life.  Listen and Learn:  What assertive communication skills are and why they are important  How people can benefit from practicing assertive communication skills When assertive communication isn't always the best approach  Randy’s thoughts on picking your battles  The challenges that come with assertive communication  Understanding the different communication styles and how to use them The link between control and assertive communication  Analyzing gender-related differences in communication styles The specifics of assertive communication and examples  How to structure requests for desired outcomes  The best way to give and receive feedback, both positive and negative Resources:  Learn more about Randy at his webpage: https://www.randypaterson.com/ Check out Randy’s books The Assertiveness Workbook, How to be Miserable, How to be Miserable in Your Twenties, Private Practice Made Simple, and Your Depression Map.  Read Debbie’s blog post on Assertive Communication Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych, including Yael’s new book, Work, Parent, Thrive!  Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! About Randy Paterson: Dr. Randy Paterson is a psychologist in Vancouver, British Columbia. He is the director of Changeways Clinic; and provides training programs across Canada and internationally on evidence-based mental health practice. He is the author of several books, including: How to Be Miserable, How to Be Miserable in Your Twenties, Private Practice Made Simple, and The Assertiveness Workbook, which is now in its second edition. He offers courses for professionals and the public through his online teaching website, psychologysalon.teachable.com.  Related Episodes:  216. Managing Anger and Irritability, Featuring Russell Kolts 246. Burnout and Boundaries with Tammie Chang 252. Getting the Help You Need, with Us 255. Influence is Your Superpower with Zoe Chance  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Working parenthood is not for the faint of heart. Sometimes the stress of toggling between family and professional roles can feel like too much! And... it can also be a meaningful source of joy, inspiration, and creativity.  In this extra special episode, we talk to our very own co-host, Dr. Yael Schonbrun about her new book, Work, Parent Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like Too Much). Yael draws on psychology research as well as her own experience as a working mom of three, to offer ideas that will help even the most stressed of working parents! This book banishes the idea that the key to ultimate working parenthood is the ability to do it all. Instead, the key is to learn how these roles, together, help you thrive. Listen and Learn:  ●      How Yael’s own experience as a hard-working mother of three informed her ideas for her book.  ●      How to shift from a “work family conflict mindset” to a “work family enrichment mindset” ●      Why interruptions that feel really annoying might actually be good for you.  ●      Whether or not finding perfect work-life balance is a realistic goal (spoiler alert: it’s not) ●      The role of values in making choices about work and family  ●      How to deal with parental guilt effectively ●      How working parenthood offers opportunities for growth ●      About how cooking has offered Jill a lesson in when to grit and when to quit ●      The power of rest, and what Yael is up to on her tech-free Saturday sabbath days  Resources: ●      Get your copy of Work, Parent, Thrive!  ●      Check out Yael’s webpage and her POTC episodes!  ●      Read Yael’s New York Times article on working parenthood, and other media appearances in the Wall Street Journal, Greater Good Science Center, Behavioral Scientist, Kveller, Lilith Magazine, The Wise Brain Bulletin, Psychology Today, and Motherly.  ●      Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych. ●      Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!  About Yael: Dr. Yael Schonbrun is a co-host of the greatest podcast of all times, Psychologists Off the Clock, and that’s all you need to know about her.  Just kidding! Yael Schonbrun, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, assistant professor at Brown University, co-host of Psychologists Off the Clock, and mother of three. She has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Colorado, Boulder, and completed her postgraduate training at Brown University. Yael’s academic research explores the interaction between relationship problems and mental health conditions. She has authored the book Work, Parent Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like Too Much), as well as chapters in several books and dozens of scientific articles. In her private practice, writing, and podcasting, Yael uses evidence-based science to help individuals and couples learn to manage work, parenting, and marriage in more effective and fulfilling ways. Yael’s writing on work, parenting, and relationships has appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Greater Good Science Center, Behavioral Scientist, Kveller, Lilith Magazine, The Wise Brain Bulletin, Psychology Today, and Motherly. You can follow her on Twitter, where she posts about the science and practice of work and family.  Related Episodes:  -       24. Choosing Both: Straddling Meaningful Career and Parenthood with Yael Schonbrun -       33. Couples with Young Children: Relationship Challenges and Strategies with Yael Schonbrun -       83. The Tao of Work and Family Balance with Tod Perry and Carl Totton -       174. How to Work and Parent Mindfully with Lori Mihalich-Levin -       211. Subtract with Leidy Klotz -       267. You are Not a Horrible Parent with Carla Naumburg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you're trying to figure out how to navigate this whole adulthood thing, and maybe even do some personal growth along the way, we have the perfect episode for you this week! Listen in as Debbie talks with Satya Doyle Byock, Jungian psychotherapist, and author of the book Quarterlife: The Search for Self in Early Adulthood. Satya shares her ideas about the struggle to find both meaning and stability in adulthood, and offers ideas for fostering psychological growth. Listen and Learn: Hear Debbie's attempt to "nutshell" all of Jungian psychology in two minutes or less (Jungians everywhere, please forgive her!) Some of the unique aspects of the stage of quarterlife (or early adulthood, typically in the 20s and early 30s), and why Satya loves working with this age group in her clinical practice. Why quarterlife can be a time of "crisis" for some people, and how it can be viewed as an opportunity for psychological growth How the traditional markers of adulthood reflect acquisition culture. How the traditional markers of adulthood reflect acquisition culture. The tension between seeking meaning and stability, and the unique challenges faced by "meaning types" and "stability types" What Carl Jung had to say about the "serpentine path" of self-exploration Why it can be worthwhile to explore the darker, "shadow" aspects of ourselves The four pillars of psychological growth How Jungian and behavioral psychology approaches might have more in common than you realize! (And yes, non-therapist listeners, we know you might not care about this at all!) Resources: Buy the book Quarterlife: The Search for Self in Early Adulthood! Find Satya online at SatyaByock.com and follow her on Instagram @satyabyock. Check out some online salons & seminars on classical Jungian psychology and its current application at SalomeInstitute.com and on Instagram: @satyabyock. Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych. Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!  About Satya Satya Doyle Byock is a psychotherapist in private practice in Portland, Oregon and the author of Quarterlife: The Search for Self in Early Adulthood (Random House, 2022). Her clinical work and writing focus on how developmental psychology attends to the first twenty years of adulthood, incorporating a depth psychological as well as social justice lens. Rather than just emphasize the search for security and stability in this stage of life, Satya has introduced a framework for an exploration of meaning as well. Satya’s clinical work, writing, and teaching are rooted in Jungian psychology, trauma-informed care, and historical research. She teaches online at The Salome Institute of Jungian Studies, which she founded and directs. You can find her at SatyaByock.com and SalomeInstitute.com and on Instagram: @satyabyock. Related Episodes 138. Exploring Existence and Purpose: Existentialism with Robyn Walser 116. Building a Meaningful, Values-based Life with Jenna LeJeune 79. Thriving In Adolescence with Louise Hayes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Doing social justice work of any kind, whether it's in our homes with their families or out in the world causes us to encounter uncomfortable feelings like confusion, shame, guilt, and overwhelm. But, according to Dolly Chugh, the author of a powerful new book, A More Justice Future, it isn't a problem to have those emotions; it's more a question of what should we do with them? Join the conversation with Dolly to gain insights into our wired-in biases, our natural emotional responses to reckoning with a painful past and present, and science-backed tools to use our responses more skillfully to build a more just future.  About Dolly Chugh:  Dr. Dolly Chugh is an award-winning social psychologist at NYU Stern School of Business where she studies bounded ethicality, or what she calls the psychology of good people. In 2018, she delivered a popular TED talk, “How to Let Go of Being a Good Person and Become a Better Person.” She is the author of The Person You Mean to Be, which offered the argument that the more we believe we are already good people, the harder it is to become better people. And her new book, which we are here to discuss, is A More Justice Future. Listen and Learn: The power of learning to pronounce one another’s names The paradox of the narrative around American pioneers, like the Laura Ingalls Wilder family The value of being a lifelong “unlearner” How principles from acceptance and commitment therapy can help us reckon with the past How to unhook from the dominant cultural narratives to capture greater accuracy and more helpful nuance How studies of home team bias and group identity in sports help us understand that bias is wired into us as part of being human How Dolly understands the controversy around Critical Race Theory Different narratives around history, and what are the most useful kinds of narratives to adopt. What is a paradox mindset and how to practice having one How stories we tell about our history problematically obscure how change happens The power of a growth mindset in doing social justice work How to build more nuance into some of our cultural fables (and why we should)  The fable of Dolly's own life that she's worked to introduce nuance into Resources: Dolly’s website A More Justice Future, by Dolly Chugh The Person You Mean to Be, by Dolly Chugh Dolly’s TEDx Talk, How to Let Go of Being a Good Person and Become a Better Person  Related Episodes Episode 200: Growing Grit with Angela Duckworth Episode 234. The Power of Us with Dominic Packer Episode 256. Social Justice Parenting with Tracy Baxley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Parenting books and research on kids often lump middle schoolers together with young elementary school kids or older adolescents. This obscures the fact that middle school is its own distinct phase. Join Jill as she talks with therapist, school counselor, and middle school expert, Phyllis Fagell, about the unique challenges middle schoolers face and how parents can help them build key skills to thrive. Fagell sees middle school as parents’ “last best chance” to influence their kids at a time when they are still impressionable and still really care what their parents think.  Listen and Learn: ·      What Yael’s friends and son shared were their greatest middle school challenges ·      Why middle school matters—what is unique about this development stage and why we should attend to it ·      How we can encourage critical thinking in middle schoolers using hypothetical scenarios ·      The importance of purpose, what purpose really means, and how to help kids connect with theirs ·      Why kids tell lies and how to handle it when they do ·      How to manage tough questions about sex, drugs, and other challenging topics ·      The difference between bullying and other interpersonal challenges and when to intervene vs letting kids work things out on their own About Phyllis Fagell Phyllis L. Fagell, LCPC is the school counselor at Sheridan School in Washington, DC, a therapist who works with kids and families in private practice, and an author and journalist. She's the author of “Middle School Matters” and a frequent contributor to the Washington Post. She also freelances for publications including Psychology Today, CNN, Working Mother, U.S. News & World Report and Your Teen, and her ideas have been shared in outlets including The New York Times,The Atlantic, The New Yorker, Edutopia, Mindshift and NPR. Phyllis currently is working on her next book, "Middle School Superpowers, Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times," (Hachette, August '23). She lives in Bethesda, MD with her husband and three children. Resources: Phyllis’s website and sign up for her newsletter: https://phyllisfagell.com Phyllis’s twitter: @pfagell Related Episodes ·       Episode 79. Thriving in Adolescence with Louise Hayes ·       Episode 113. Self-Compassion for Parents with Susan Pollak ·       Episode 159. Challenging Time During Adolescence with Louise Hayes ·       Episode 214. How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Jerks ·       Episode 240. Talking to Kids and Teens with Big Feelings with Adele LaFrance ·       Episode 265. Social Justice Parenting with Traci Baxley ·       Episode 267. You Are Not a Horrible Parent with Carla Naumburg Offers and Events: The way we approach and treat trauma has been evolving – even in just the last several years. The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine (NICABM) has interviewed the top experts in the treatment of trauma and narrowed down hours of interviews to a carefully curated training program. Each week, all the experts focus on a single topic in trauma treatment. It’s free to watch the weekly course broadcasts, you just have to sign up at TraumaMasterSeries.com/POTC Or, you can purchase the Gold Package to own the complete program (with transcripts, video and audio downloads and bonuses) at 50% off the normal price! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Friendships matter deeply for our mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing. But unlike kids, adults generally don’t knock on their neighbors’ doors and say, “Hey wanna come outside and play?” Making and keeping friends in adulthood is tricky (to say the least). Join us for a special conversation about friendship. In the first half of this episode, Yael and Debbie discuss how they see some of the issues in cultivating friendships in adulthood. The second half of this episode features clinical psychologist, Adam Dorsay, whose TEDx talk, Friendships in Adulthood: Five Things to Know lays out important ideas we can all learn from. Tune in to learn about common challenges and tips for overcoming them, what to look for in friends, how to be a good friend yourself, and much more. Listen and Learn: The science behind why quality (not quantity) friendships are so important in adulthood Common challenges to making friends in adulthood The problem of loneliness The challenges inherent in investing in adult friendships relationships The dangers of expecting too much of any one friend and how to overcome that challenge Ideas for finding new friends Considerations in choosing friends Understanding what being a good friend looks like Data on why is friendship good for our love lives About Adam Dorsay Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist and a certified executive coach working in private practice in San Jose, CA. He is the co-creator of Project Reciprocity, a resiliency program based out of FaceBook’s headquarters. In 2021, Adam was a featured TEDx speaker on the topic of friendships in adulthood.  Resources: Adam’s website: https://dradamdorsay.com/ Adam’s TEDx talk: Friendships in Adulthood: Five Things to Know  Article on the power of the casual check-in Related Episodes: Episode 85. Emotion Efficacy with Aprilia West Episode 113. Self-Compassion for Parents with Susan Pollak Episode 168. Everyday Conversations: How Conversational Style Impacts Relationships with Deborah Tannen Episode 266. Future Tense with Tracy Dennis-Tiwary Episode 269. Connection Through Vulnerability with Rikke Kjelgaar Offers and Events: The way we approach and treat trauma has been evolving – even in just the last several years. The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine (NICABM) has interviewed the top experts in the treatment of trauma and narrowed down hours of interviews to a carefully curated training program. Each week, all the experts focus on a single topic in trauma treatment. It’s free to watch the weekly course broadcasts, you just have to sign up at TraumaMasterSeries.com/POTC Or, you can purchase the Gold Package to own the complete program (with transcripts, video and audio downloads and bonuses) at 50% off the normal price! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this special bonus episode, we hear an excerpt from Daniel Pink, author of the book The Power of Regret, on the podcast A Slight Change of Plans, cohosted by cognitive scientist Dr. Maya Shankar. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In order to show up as our best selves for others, for all the roles that matter most to us, and to make the world a better place, we need to be able to have the important conversations with ourselves. In his new book, How Am I Doing?: 40 Conversations to Have with Yourself, Dr. Cory Yeager, a clinical psychologist and therapist for the Detroit Pistons, offers us 40 questions to help us start those important conversations with ourselves. Join Dr. Cory and Yael for a powerful conversation about why we need to have these conversations with ourselves and how to get that conversation started. Listen and Learn: Why we should be having more conversation with ourselves What can get in the way (and how to overcome it) The value of balanced positivity in the face of racial injustice What narrative solution focused therapy is How to form a helpful internal supreme court How to move from making the “right”choices to making your choices right  Why being vulnerable can free you Why moving forward often requires us also to look back What you can do with just 23 seconds Resources: How Am I Doing?: 40 Conversations to Have with Yourself, By Cory Yeager Dr. Corey’s website About Dr. Corey Yeager Dr. Cory Yeager is a therapist who merges his two main passions–athletics and therapy–as the Detroit Piston’s psychotherapist. In this role, he supports the overall organization, individual players, coaching staff, and front office leadership. His work also aims to advance dialogue about race and racism and he has facilitated conversation across the country with various organizations including The Oprah Winfrey Network and elsewhere. And he is also known for his appearance on Harry and Oprah's show, The Me You Can’t See on Apple TV+.  Related Episodes Episode 85. Emotion Efficacy with Aprilia West Episode 183. Permission to Feel with Marc Brackett Episode 265. The Power of Emotions at Work with Karla McLaren Episode 269. Connection Through Vulnerability with Rikke Kjelgaar Offers and Events through POTC: The way we approach and treat trauma has been evolving – even in just the last several years. The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine (NICABM) has interviewed the top experts in the treatment of trauma and narrowed down hours of interviews to a carefully curated training program. Each week, all the experts focus on a single topic in trauma treatment. It’s free to watch the weekly course broadcasts, you just have to sign up at TraumaMasterSeries.com/POTC Or, you can purchase the Gold Package to own the complete program (with transcripts, video and audio downloads and bonuses) at 50% off the normal price! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you want to be a badass? Sometimes being a badass means asking for help, being vulnerable, and admitting you can’t do it all on your own. Join Jill as she talks with psychologist and ACT trainer, Rikke Kjelgaard about how to live a full and meaningful life through psychological flexibility. In this episode, Rikke and Jill get personal, sharing their own vulnerable stories and experiences in hopes of inspiring listeners to get out of their comfort zones and get brave. Listen and Learn: What it means to live “full size” and be a badass How Rikke’s learning history led her to be a “superwoman” who never asked for help—and how she overcame this How childhood patterns “work” when they develop but cease to be helpful later in life The importance of discriminating in what contexts behaviors work or don’t work The importance of connection and community, especially when being psychologically flexible gets hard A values clarification exercise developed by one of Jill’s clients The importance of holding outcomes lightly How to play big even after you get cut down About Rikke Kjelgaard Rikke Kjelgaard is a licensed psychologist, peer-reviewed ACT trainer, an awarded fellow of the ACBS, author, speaker and chief rock’n’roller in her own business. Rikke is on a mission to help therapists thrive and to be brave and authentic helpers. Trained as a clinical psychologist, she has a 15 year background in the science of human behaviour and the practice of behaviour change. Rikke is a popular speaker at the Scandinavian as well as the international stage, and she is known to bring both passion and vulnerability to her talks. She transforms the lives of her audience by bringing evidence based strategies to her listeners in ways that are edible, manageable and impactful. Rikke is known to leave her audience in tears with compelling stories from her own life and to create extraordinary interactions between people.  Resources Rikke’s essay in Passionately Striving in Why: An Anthology of Women Who Persevere Mightily to Live Their Purpose: https://www.rikkekjelgaard.com/passionately-striving-in-why/ Rikke’s website: www.rikkekjelgaard.com Rikke’s ACT Practitioner’s Academy that opens on October 1st:  https://www.rikkekjelgaard.com/actpractitionersacademy/ Related Episodes 265. The Power of Emotions at Work 262. Hope and Values in Dark Times with Us 252. Getting the Help You Need with Us 238. Values During Times of Transition with Us 198. Belonging From the Inside Out with Meg McKelvie 198. Break the Good Girl Myth with Majo Molfino Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Suicidal thoughts are a more common human experience than you may realize, and many lives are impacted by suicide. Often suicidal thoughts are an indication that a person is in emotional pain, and there are tools that can help. Talking more openly about suicide can help to reduce stigma, and encourage people to reach out for support.  September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, and this week we are grateful to have Dr. Katie Gordon, a suicide expert and author of The Suicidal Thoughts Workbook on the show. In this conversation, Katie shares practical ideas that will be helpful for people having suicidal thoughts, as well as their friends and family who want to support them.  Listen and Learn: How stigma about suicide can can get in the way of much-needed support, and why we at POTC think it’s important to talk more openly about suicidal thoughts. Why people think about suicide Ways to cope with suicidal thoughts and urges The role of hope and hopelessness in suicidal thinking The importance of belonging and meaning in suicide prevention How to support a loved one who is thinking about suicide.  About safety planning for a suicidal crisis Resources Pick up a copy of Katie's book, The Suicidal Thoughts Workbook 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) Crisis Text Line Website for International Suicide Hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html National Sexual Assault Hotline Trans Lifeline The Trevor Project Rocky Mountain MIRECC for Veteran Suicide Prevention Suicide Prevention Resource Center Click here for information on what to do when someone is suicidal  Click here for information on what not to say about suicide The My3 Safety Planning App The Virtual Hope Box App for Apple and Google Play  Postvention Alliance (for coping with suicide attempts or suicide) SPRC Postvention Resources Uniting for Suicide Postvention Click here for information on how to talk to a child about a suicide attempt Safety Planning Intervention Webpage A suicide safety plan quick guide  Two different options for safety planning templates can be found here and here Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych. Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!  About Katie Gordon Kathryn Hope Gordon, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist. She lives in the Boston area and specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Prior to working as a therapist, Gordon was a professor for ten years. She is a mental health researcher who has published more than 80 scientific articles and book chapters on suicidal behavior, disordered eating, and related topics. Her clinical scientist approach is informed by her graduate training at Florida State University, and her predoctoral internship at the University of Chicago Medical Center. She is the author of The Suicidal Thoughts Workbook: CBT Skills to Reduce Emotional Pain, Increase Hope, and Prevent Suicide. Gordon cohosts the Psychodrama podcast, blogs for Psychology Today, and shares mental health information through her website: www.kathrynhgordon.com. She writes a newsletter called Mental Health Minute, which you can subscribe to here. She is licensed in Massachusetts, Minnesota, and North Dakota and provides suicide prevention trainings to clinicians. Related Episodes: Episode 190. ACT for Suicide Prevention with Sean Barnes Episode 261. The Secret Life of Secrets with Michael Slepian Episode 118. Moral Injury and Shame with Lauren Borges and Jacob Farnsworth Episode 77. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy with Jill Stoddard Episode 138. Exploring Existence and Purpose: Existentialism with Robyn Walser Episode 116. Building a Meaningful, Values-based Life with Jenna LeJeune    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you think you’re a horrible parent, well, you’re not alone! Thinking we such at parenting seems to be an inherent part of parenting made worse by the pandemic, financial stressors, and general unease we live with. The wise and witty Carla Naumburg joins us to share tools from her latest book, You are Not a Sh*tty Parent. Along with some humor and spicy language, we can self-compassion to better cope with the unavoidable stressors of parenting.  Listen and Learn: What is self-compassion and what isn’t it How self-compassion differs from being nice Why engaging in self-criticism to connect gets us in trouble The metaphor of first versus second arrows and how this helps us understand how to better respond to our suffering Noticing practices Practices to connect to the present Practices to connect to common humanity Practices of curiosity About Carla: Carla Naumburg is an author, clinical social worker, and mother. She’s the author of five non-fiction books, including her international bestseller, How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids as well as You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent. Carla’s writing has appeared in a variety of online and print publications, including The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, Mindful Magazine, Slate.com, Psychology Today, WBUR’s Cognoscenti Blog, Brain, Child, Motherwell, Parents.com, PsychCentral, and Today Moms.  Resources: Article on the dangers of body positivity: What’s the Difference Between Body Positivity and Body Neutrality? Carla’s website Book: How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids  Pre-order You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent here! Related Episodes: Episode 75. Mindful Self-Compassion with Christopher Germer Episode 80. Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics with Jeff Warren Episode 113. Self-Compassion for Parents with Susan Pollak Episode 129. Yoga for All and Body Kindness with Jennifer Webb Episode 149. How Not to Lose it with Your Kids with Carla Naumberg Episode 201. Fierce Compassion with Kristin Neff Episode 223 Mom Brain Returns with Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco Episode 251. Wonder with Frank Keil Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anxiety has long gotten a bad wrap. But maybe part of why anxiety is so much on the rise and harming so many people comes back to how we understand anxiety. Tracy Dennis-Tiwary, author Future Tense: Why Anxiety is Good for You (Even Though it Feels Bad) joins us to discuss why re-thinking anxiety can help us out. As Adam Grant noted in his blurb, this conversation and this book “Is going smash your existing views about anxiety and replace them with more helpful ones.” Listen and Learn: The three principles of being anxious in the right way Tracy’s insights into the difference between fear, stress, anxiety, and anxiety disorders Why anxiety has a public relations problem What are the useful functions of anxiety  Why hope is so fundamental to anxiety How shifting our anxiety mindset can help treatment for anxiety disorders more effective Why the medical model of treating anxiety is so problematic Why children, even children with anxiety, are anti-fragile (and how to wisely approach anxiety in youth) In-the-moment strategies to manage an upsurge in anxiety  What Attention Bias Modification is and how it works to help us manage anxiety The connection between anxiety and creativity Resources: Jeremy Jamieson’s study of mindest shift for individuals with social anxiety Study cited investigating the link between creativity and anxiety Alia Crum’s Ted Talk Kelly McGonigal’s Ted Talk Tracy's website Tracy's book, Future Tense: Why Anxiety is Good for You (Even Though it Feels Bad) About Tracy Dennis-Tiwary Tracy A. Dennis-Tiwary, is a professor of psychology and neuroscience, Director of the Emotion Regulation Lab, and Co-Executive Director of the Center for Health Technology at Hunter College. Her company, Wise Therapeutics, translates neuroscience and cognitive therapy techniques into gamified, clinically validated digital therapeutics for mental health. Dr. Dennis-Tiwary has published over 100 scientific articles and delivered over 400 presentations at academic conferences and for corporate clients, and has been featured throughout the media, including the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, ABC, CBS, CNN, NPR, The Today Show, and Bloomberg Television. You can find Tracy at her website or on Twitter. Related Episodes: Episode 209. The Art of Managing Pressure with Hank Weisinger Episode 227. The Science of Happy with Sonja Lyubomirsky Episode 233. Dopamine Nation with Anna Lembke Episode 235: The Urge with Dr. Carl Erik Fisher Episode 259. Rethinking Delusions with Victoria Sheperd Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you think emotions don't belong in the workplace, think again! Emotions, when welcomed and respected, are an essential part of productive and healthy workplace environments. In this episode, Debbie talks with Karla McLaren about the power of emotions at work, problems with the modern workplace environment, and her ideas for how to implement real cultural change at work. Listen and Learn: Why Debbie is such a big fan of Karla's work on emotions at work. Reasons why so many workplaces are "toxic" and what makes them so. The toll of invisible emotional labor. Why emotions are important and necessary at work. Ways we can foster better communication and more humane workplace environments. About Karla McLaren: Karla McLaren, M.Ed. is an award-winning author, social science researcher, workplace consultant, and empathy pioneer. Her lifelong work focuses on her grand unified theory of emotions, which revalues even the most “negative” emotions and opens startling new pathways into self-awareness, effective communication, and healthy empathy. She is the founder and CEO of Emotion Dynamics LLC and the developer of the Empathy Academy online learning site. Her applied work, Dynamic Emotional Integration® (also known as DEI) is a trailblazing approach to emotions and empathy that reveals the genius and the healing power within the emotional realm. Karla has also developed the groundbreaking Six Essential Aspects of Empathy model that highlights all of the processes in healthy empathy and makes them easily understandable, accessible, and attainable. Karla is the author of The Power of Emotions at Work: Accessing the Vital Intelligence in Your Workplace (2021), Embracing Anxiety: How to Access the Genius of this Vital Emotion (2020), The Dynamic Emotional Integration® Workbook (2018), The Art of Empathy: A Complete Guide to Life’s Most Essential Skill (2013), The Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings are Trying to Tell You (2010), and the multi-media online course Emotional Flow: Becoming Fluent in the Language of Emotions (2012). Karla has won several honors and awards, including the 2010 Gold Medal from the Independent Publisher Book Awards. Karla has taught at such venues as the University of San Francisco, Esalen, Bioneers, Naropa University, Kripalu Center, and the Association for Humanistic Psychology. She’s also a Certified Human Resource Administrator and a Certified Career Development Facilitator with a Master’s Degree in Education. She lives in Sonoma County, California. Resources: Grab your copy of Karla's book, The Power of Emotions at Work: Accessing the Vital Intelligence in Your Workplace (2021) Grab copies of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych. Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!  Related Episodes: 207. Burnout with Debbie and Jill 183. Permission to Feel: Emotional Intelligence with Marc Brackett 130. Working Less with Alex Pang 45. Rest with Alex Pang 230. The Laziness Lie with Devon Price Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Many of us grew up being told we must be members of “the clean plate club” or that we shouldn’t waste food because there are starving children in other countries. The diet industry rakes in billions, profiting off messages around striving for an unattainable “thin ideal.” All of this contributes to the development of unhealty relationships with food and our bodies. As parents, we are at risk of passing along unhealthy messages and patterns. In this episode, Jill interviews Sumner Brooks and Amee Severson about how we can break these patterns and raise children outside the toxic diet mentality so they have healthier relationships with food and their bodies.  Listen and Learn: What is meant by “intuitive eating.” What is diet culture and why is it problematic The inaccuracy of data around obesity and morbidity/mortality The three keys to raising an intuitive eater Why it’s important to talk about bodies The power of modeling healthy attitudes and behaviors toward food and bodies  The difficulty and importance of letting go of over-control How Acceptance and Commitment Therapy can help Resources Sumner and Amee’s book, How to Raise an Intuitive Eater Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resche’s book Intuitive Eating The ALLHAT study about the surprising relationship between BMI and cardiovascular risk. About Sumner Brooks and Amee Severson Sumner Brooks is a mom and licensed registered dietitian nutritionist (LD, RDN) based in Oregon who has spent over 13 years working in the field of nutrition and eating disorders. Her experience includes providing nutrition therapy for adolescents and adults, public speaking and pursuing advanced training in trauma-informed, weight-inclusive healthcare. She is also the founder of the online training platform Eating Disorder Registered Dietitians and Professionals (EDRD Pro). Amee Severson a Registered Dietitian (RD) in the Washington State (CD) with a private practice outside of Seattle, Washington. Amee specializes in eating disorder recovery, healing and preserving food-body relationships, and focuses on gender-inclusive and LGBTQ+ affirming care. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, and a Certified Body Trust Provider. Related Episodes Episode 231. Eating Skills and Emotional Eating with Josh Hillis Episode 68. Body Image and Eating Disorders with Emily Sandoz Episode 129. Yoga for All and Body Kindness with Jennifer Webb Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Many of us grew up with or are in a current relationship with someone who is emotionally immature. And if that’s the case, you may feel anger towards that person, and a lingering sense of loneliness and anxiety in intimate relationships. Lindsay Gibson, the author of the bestselling book, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, helps us understand why these relationships cause us such pain, how to heal, and even how to navigate relationships with an emotionally immature person in our adult life. Join us to learn how to find a new way to be in relationship with an emotionally immature person.  Listen and Learn: Why Lindsay first began writing and treating adult children of emotionally immature parents The value of understanding what emotional immaturity is, but also the caution we should use in applying labels The hallmark qualities of emotional immaturity (and emotional maturity) The research that highlights why being raised by an emotionally immature parent can cause such long-term pain The surprising stance Lindsay has on cultivating compassion for an emotionally immature person Strategies for growing relationships in that don't resemble those which you were raised with Understand how you can help a relationship with an emotionally immature person grow Lindsey’s thoughts on estrangement from an emotionally immature parent or partner Resources Ed Tronick’s still face experiment Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them, by Karl Pillemer Atlantic Article: Why Parents and Kids Get Estranged About Lindsay Gibson Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist in private practice who specializes in individual psychotherapy with adult children of emotionally immature parents. She is author of Who You Were Meant to Be and writes a monthly column on well-being for Tidewater Women magazine and she’s here today to talk with me about her books, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and Recovering From Emotionally Immature Parents. Welcome, Linsday! Related Episodes Episode 85. Emotion Efficacy with Aprilia West Episode 98. Narcissism with Avigail Lev and Robyn Walser Episode 183. Permission to Feel with Marc Brackett Episode 186. Set Boundaries, Find Peace with Nedra Tawwab Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The world is chock full of bad news right now, and many are feeling the impacts. From war to revocation of rights, the world around us can easily (and not unreasonably) feel hopeless. On this week’s episode of POTC, Debbie, Yael, Jill, and Michael come together to discuss the psychological impact of the socio-political climate as well as practical advice for navigating these difficult times. Join us in this episode to learn expert-approved strategies for fostering hope and compassion in times of anger, using anger in values-oriented ways, distinguishing between healthy and unhealthy avoidance, and much more today.  Listen and Learn: The psychological impact of the socio-political climate Practical advice for living consistently with your values during hard times The validity in feeling numb, detaching, and isolating Important distinctions in healthy and unhealthy avoidance Expert-approved strategies for using anger in healthy ways The cognitive load of uncertainty and practical advice for tolerating it Evidence-based methods for fostering hope and taking action Role-models who endured hopelessness with bravery and compassion The strategies the POTC team uses to foster hope in their personal lives How to balance feelings of guilt and shame Practical advice for deciding when it’s time for self-care and when it’s time for taking action Expert-approved strategies for staying informed without burning out or doom scrolling How to have difficult conversations about heavy socio-political topics with even the most difficult of people Clarifying your values by finding the grains of sugar in life Resources: Read Melinda Moyer’s article, The 'Psychic Numbing" of Mass Tragedies  Read Jane Goodall and Douglas Abrams’ book, The Book of Hope: A Survival Guide for Trying Times  Check out Michael in his cow hat and with Jane Goodall! Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych. Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!  About our team: Debbie Sorensen, PhD, (she/her) is a psychologist in private practice in Denver, Colorado She is co-author of ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. You can learn more about Debbie, read her blog, and find out about upcoming presentations and training events at her webpage, drdebbiesorensen.com. Yael Schonbrun, PhD, (she/her) is a licensed clinical psychologist and assistant professor at Brown University. Yael’s book, Work, Parent, Thrive comes out in November and is available for pre-order now! Jill Stoddard, PhD, (she/her) is a clinical psychologist and author of The Big Book of ACT Metaphors: A Practitioner’s Guide to Experiential Exercises and Metaphors in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Be Mighty: A Woman’s Guide to Liberation from Anxiety, Worry, and Stress Using Mindfulness and Acceptance.  Michael Herold (he/him) is the head coach at The Art of Charm and a public speaker and speaker coach. Clients he has coached for presentations have been featured on NBC, Fast Company, Forbes, and the Oprah Winfrey Network. Related Episodes: Episode 201. Fierce Compassion with Kristin Neff  Episode 214. How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Jerks with Melinda Wenner Moyer  Episode 168. Everyday Conversations: How Conversational Style Impacts Relationships with Deborah Tannen  Episode 260. Health Anxiety with Karen Lynn Cassiday  Episode 230. The Laziness Lie with Devon Price  Episode 259. Rethinking Delusions with Victoria Sheperd Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Secrets are a double-edged sword. They can both inflict and remedy physical and psychological injury for us and our loved ones. But regardless of whether they offer benefit, keeping secrets is often burdensome for the keeper. Michael Slepian, author of The Secret Life of Secrets, has dedicated his career to the psychology of secrets and how keeping secrets affect variables that govern social and organizational life. In this episode of POTC, Michael and Yael discuss the personal and relational value in sharing as well as the impact of keeping secrets. Join us in this episode for surprising statistics and findings on secret-keeping, practical advice on assessing when and how to share your secrets, evidence-based strategies on building trust, and much much more, today! Listen and Learn: Yael and Debbie discuss the power of tightly held secrets Why secret-keeping is often overlooked in the realm of mental health Michael’s expert definition of secrecy Important distinctions between deception and private information The impact of secret-keeping on our well-being Some surprising findings from Michael’s research on secret-keeping The first steps in overcoming a tightly held or particularly burdensome secret The hazards and gifts associated with professional secret-keeping as a clinician Revealing statistics on secrets and secret-keeping An expert definition of ambitious secrets Practical advice on assessing when and how to share your secrets Guidelines for helping children understand the differences between the right to privacy and the dangers of keeping certain kinds of secrets Pros and cons of snooping Evidence-based strategies on building trust Michael’s coping compass and how it can help you decide whether or not to disclose a secret Michael’s personal experiences sharing and learning secrets The personal and relational value in sharing secrets Resources: Buy your copy of Michael’s book, The Secret Life of Secrets: How Our Inner Worlds Shape Well-Being, Relationships, and Who We Are!  Michael’s study, Relieving the burdens of secrecy: Revealing secrets influences judgments of hill slant and distance  Check out Danny Shapiro’s book Inheritance: A Memoir of Genealogy, Paternity, and Love  Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych. Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!  About Michael Slepian: Michael Slepian is the Sanford C. Bernstein & Co. Associate Professor of Leadership and Ethics at Columbia Business School. He previously was a visiting scholar at Stanford University, and received his Ph.D. from Tufts University. He is an elected fellow of the Society of Experimental Social Psychology, has received the Rising Star Award from the Association for Psychological Science, and received the National Science Foundation Graduate Research Fellowship.Michael studies the psychology of secrets and how keeping secrets affect variables that govern social and organizational life. For more information see his research and publications. Related Episodes: Episode 83. Courageous Conversations to Prevent Childhood Sexual Abuse with Feather Berkower Episode 118. Moral Injury and Shame with Lauren Borges and Jacob Farnsworth  Episode 184. Getting Past Affairs and Other Relationship Betrayals with Kristina Coop Gordon We'd love your help creating a better podcast listening experience by hearing more about you. Consider taking a few minutes to fill out our brief listener survey here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s not uncommon to have some anxiety about your and others’ health. However, health anxiety, at its worst, can become an overwhelming, life-consuming experience that keeps you from thriving. Millions of people experience health anxiety, and the pandemic has certainly contributed to the recent rise in numbers of people who experience this. Dr. Karen Cassiday, author of Freedom from Health Anxiety, is nationally recognized as an expert clinical psychologist in the diagnosis and treatment of anxiety disorders in children, teens, and adults. In this episode of POTC, Karen and Debbie discuss the common experience of health anxiety, and Karen’s evidence-based methods for approaching it. Join us in this empowering episode for distinctions between normal and problematic health anxiety, practical advice for dealing with catastrophic thinking patterns, and much more, today! Listen and Learn: Debbie and Yael’s thoughts on the pervasive experience of health anxiety Dr. Cassiday’s expert opinion on the rise of health anxiety in the general public Practical distinctions for when health anxiety is normal vs. when it’s problematic Important differences between orthorexia and health anxiety Practical advice for dealing with catastrophic thinking patterns about your health An expert breakdown of the reassurance seeking cycle The importance of function in your health-related behaviors Evidence-based strategies for practitioners and patients dealing with health-anxiety How Dr. Cassiday uses Exposure and Response Prevention in her work The common experience of health anxiety, and new, evidence-based methods for approaching it Resources: Grab your copy of Karen’s book, Freedom from Health Anxiety: Understand and Overcome Obsessive Worry about Your Health or Someone Else's and Find Peace of Mind  Check out Yael and Barry Schwartz’s article on Radical Uncertainty Read Barry Schwartz's Practical Wisdom: The Right Way to Do the Right Thing  Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych. Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!  About Dr. Karen Lynn Cassiday: Dr. Karen Cassiday is an author and nationally recognized as an expert clinical psychologist in the diagnosis and treatment of anxiety disorders in children, teens and adults. She empowers patients to overcome their struggles with anxiety, compulsions, phobias, social anxiety, worry, and depression. She approaches each patient with enthusiasm, persistence, and a keen sense of humor, crafting individualized, research-based treatment plans for each person. Her goal is to make each patient an expert at managing their own anxiety, so that they can face any future event with confidence and courage. A sought after national speaker on television, radio and at professional training seminars, Dr. Cassiday has appeared as a psychological consultant on Animal Hoarders on TNT and on NBC’s Today Show. Her expertise has been tapped through commentary in the Wall Street Journal, New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and numerous other publications. Make sure to check out Karen’s book, Freedom from Health Anxiety: Understand and Overcome Obsessive Worry about Your Health or Someone Else's and Find Peace of Mind. Related Episodes: Episode 138. Exploring Existence and Purpose: Existentialism with Robyn Walser Episode 164. Pandemic Stress: Strategies from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy with Debbie and Diana Episode 244. What You Feel Is Not All There Is with Aprilia West Episode 103. Healthy Habits with Dayna Lee-Baggley   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Delusional beliefs have a long and varied history, with false beliefs ranging from those as minor as imposter syndrome to those as significant as thinking we are dead or decapitated. Victoria Shepherd, author of A History of Delusions, has dedicated her career to exploring the history of fixed false beliefs and the context in which false beliefs can develop. On this episode of POTC, she and Yael discuss the importance of understanding the function of delusions within social context. Join us in this episode for practical advice on caring for loved ones who experience delusions, evidence-based methods of being compassionate towards yourself and others when dealing with delusional beliefs, and much, much more, today! Listen and Learn: Yael and Jill’s take on delusional thinking and fixed false beliefs The importance of understanding the functionality of delusions within a context Practical advice for caring for loved ones who experience delusions Common delusions we all frequently experience Three ways delusions might be helpful for distressed individuals Expert-approved strategies for becoming more aware of your own delusional thinking and managing overwhelm and uncertainty  How the human desire for agency over a situation plays into delusional thinking Some of the experiences of the intriguing characters in Victoria’s book! Perceptions of individuals in power that influence widely held beliefs  How biological causes contribute to delusions Evidence-based methods of being compassionate towards yourself and others when dealing with delusional beliefs Resources: Grab your copy of Victoria’s book, A History of Delusions: The Glass King, a Substitute Husband, and a Walking Corpse! Learn more about Charles The Mad Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych. Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!  About Victoria Shepherd: Victoria Shepherd, a born and bred south Londoner, has an M.A. from the University of East Anglia in creative writing. She’s an experienced audio producer for BBC Radio making documentaries and podcasts, and her short film documentary, 2 Princelet Street, was selected by the National Film School Docs program. Many of her documentaries can be found on BBC Sounds, and recent highlights include: ‘A History of Delusions’, presented by Professor Daniel Freeman (co-produced by Eve Streeter), ‘The Glass Delusion’, presented by Adam Phillips; ‘A History of the Future’, and ‘Experiments in Living’ presented by Juliet Gardiner; ‘This Old Heart of Mine’ presented by Giles Fraser, ‘A Natural History of the Banker’ presented by Andrew Ross Sorkin, ‘The Periodic Table’ presented by Chris Addison; ‘Headstrong and Proud’ presented by Michael Crick, ‘The Wizard of Oz’, presented by Salman Rushdie. Learn more about her work here, and buy her book A History of Delusions: The Glass King, a Substitute Husband, and a Walking Corpse now. Related Episodes: Episode 235. The Urge: The Shaping of Addiction & Mental Health with Carl Erik Fisher Episode 251. Wonder with Frank Keil Episode 118. Moral Injury and Shame with Lauren Borges and Jacob Farnsworth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Women and gender-expansive individuals are often expected to take on the largest portion of emotional labor, home-making, and parenting work. This and a myriad of other unrealistic expectations contribute to #secretparenting and the “motherhood penalty,” leaving women and gender-expansive individuals to suffer and fall behind their white, cis-gender, male counterparts. Ericka Sóuter is a nationally recognized voice in parenting news and parenting advice. On this episode of POTC, she and Jill discuss the challenges mothers often face in their parenting journey and provide practical, realistic advice for facing those challenges. Join us in this episode to learn the research behind caring for yourself first, how to use mom-judgment for good and not evil, statistics behind #secretparenting, and much more today! Listen and Learn: Jill and Yael’s experiences with the challenging elements of parenting How Ericka came upon the title of her book The unmet or unrealistic expectations about parenthood The evidence-based place to start improving your experience with parenthood and overwhelm What the research says about caring for your own well-being before that of your child’s Practical advice for building a community of “the right mom friends” during even the busiest, most hectic of times Expert-approved advice for using mom-judgment for good and not evil The disturbing statistics behind #secretparenting and practical advice for how to engage with the “motherhood penalty” Why the frequency of sex may decrease during and after pregnancy and how to ensure it rebounds down the road Resources: Grab your copy of Ericka’s book, How to Have a Kid and a Life: A Survival Guide! Check out Ericka’s articles!  Learn more about #secretparenting The C-Suite: 70% of top male earners in the US have a spouse who stays home Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych. Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!  About:   Ericka Sóuter is a nationally recognized voice in parenting news and parenting advice. She has over 20 years of journalism experience and is a frequent contributor on Good Morning America and other national broadcast outlets, where it’s her job to speak to parents across the country about the issues, controversies, and trends most affecting families today. Her new book is How to Have a Kid and a Life: A Survival Guide. Ericka’s work appears on the Bump, What to Expect, CafeMom, and Mom.com, all high-traffic parenting sites that reach millions of moms each month. Her writing has also been featured in People magazine, Us Weekly, Essence, Cosmopolitan, Self and WebMD. She received her bachelor’s degree from Georgetown University and master’s degree from the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism. Related Episodes:  Episode 87. Cribsheet with Emily Oster  Episode 247. Find Your Unicorn Space with Eve Rodsky  Episode 185. Good Guys: Allies in the Workplace with Brad Johnson and David Smith  Episode 245. Family Firm with Emily Oster Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Human beings are evolutionarily hard-wired to compete with one another, and this drive to compete encourages us to compare our standing to that of our fellows and despair when we don’t match up. This “compare and despair” mindset can lead to unworkable or harmful cycles of behavior that leave us feeling worse-than-ordinary. Ron Siegel, author of The Extraordinary Gift of being Ordinary, is faculty at Harvard Medical School and teaches internationally about mind-body medicine and the application of mindfulness and compassion practices in psychotherapy and other fields. On this episode of POTC, Ron talks with Yael about why being ordinary is actually an extraordinary gift! Join us to learn about addiction to self-esteem, what genetic analysis says about social comparison and organization, scientifically-backed practices for embracing and savoring your ordinariness, and more, today! Listen and Learn: Yael and Debbie’s thoughts on the connection between being ordinary and belonging The inescapable cycle of comparing and despairing  The evolutionary roots of our desire to be extraordinary  What genetic analysis has to tell us about social comparison and organization  Evidence-based strategies for responding to natural urges and impulses when they’re not workable Practical advice for reorienting towards value-aligned actions after you’ve unhooked from addiction to self-esteem Ron’s favorite practices for embracing and savoring your ordinariness The importance of embracing impermanence (including your own mortality) Resources: Snag your DISCOUNTED copy of Ron’s book, The Extraordinary Gift of being Ordinary. Enter code DFSL2 when item is in shopping cart. Code will be valid through 9/30/22. Then, come chat with Ron at our book club meeting August 11th at 12pm EST (US)! To join the book club, email us at [email protected] with "book club" in the subject line Learn more about the differences between Bonobos and Chimpanzees!.  Read the Cherokee Legend of the Two Wolves  Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych. Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!  About Ron Siegel: Dr. Ron Siegel is an Assistant Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School, where he’s taught for over 35 years. A long-time student of mindfulness meditation, he serves on the Board of Directors and faculty of the Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy and the faculties of the Center for Mindfulness and Compassion at the Cambridge Health Alliance and the University of Massachusetts Medical School. He teaches internationally about mind-body medicine and the application of mindfulness and compassion practices in psychotherapy and other fields. He currently maintains a limited private clinical practice in Lincoln, Massachusetts. He has edited and written several books including the critically acclaimed professional text, Mindfulness and Psychotherapy, 2nd Edition, The Mindfulness Solution: Everyday Practices for Everyday Problems, Sitting Together: Essential Skills for Mindfulness-Based Psychotherapy, Wisdom and Compassion in Psychotherapy, Back Sense, and his most recent book, The Extraordinary Gift of Being Ordinary: Finding Happiness Right Where You Are!  Related Episodes: Episode 161. The Gift of Failure with Jessica Lahey Episode 199. Belonging From the Inside Out with Meg McKelvie  Episode 226. ACT for Perfectionism with Jennifer Kemp Episode 234. The Power of Us with Dominic Packer Episode 254. Cultivating Compassion for a Lasting Connection with Michaela Thomas Episode 256. Social Justice Parenting with Traci Baxley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Social justice involves action. In our society which has historically privileged whiteness, many racist and other prejudicial ideas are widely accepted as the standard and are pervasively practiced as the norm. Because of this, allies must engage in anti-racism and take action against racist behaviors. One form of action involves parenting practices. Traci Baxley, author of Social Justice Parenting, is an expert in child development, elementary education, curriculum and instruction, diversity and inclusion, anti-bias curriculum, and social justice education. On this episode of POTC, Debbie and Traci come together to discuss the importance of Social Justice Parenting Practices. Join us in this episode to learn expert-approved strategies for accepting your child for who they are, practical advice for moving from being a “good person” to being an advocate for historically excluded communities, the main qualities of a pro-justice home, and so much more! Listen and Learn: Jill and Debbie’s experiences implementing Social Justice Parenting practices The personal story behind Traci’s work Traci’s experience with “The Talk” that black families must have with their children in the U.S. Belonging as a universal, fundamental motivation  Expert-approved strategies for accepting your children for who they are Traci’s expert definition of Social Justice Parenting  Why parents struggle to implement Social Justice Parenting practices (and how to overcome those struggles!) The importance of Social Justice Parenting practices Practical advice for moving from being a “good person” to being an advocate for historically excluded communities The main qualities of a pro justice home How to start conversations about hard topics with your kids (no matter their age!) Expert-approved strategies for responding to difficult, scary questions from your kids and bringing others into the conversation of social justice Resources Check out Traci’s book, Social Justice Parenting: How to Raise Compassionate, Anti-Racist, Justice-Minded Kids  Take Traci’s online courses for white mothers who want to be allies to the Black community and raise antiracist children (who will be change agents in the world) and for parents who want to implement Social Justice Parenting practices in their family’s daily lives Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych. Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!  ​​About Dr. Traci Baxley: Dr. Traci Baxley is a Associate Professor of education at Florida Atlantic University, consultant, parenting coach, and speaker. An educator for over 30 years with degrees in child development, elementary education, and curriculum and instruction. She specializes in diversity and inclusion, anti-bias curriculum, and social justice education. She teaches two online courses for white mothers who want to be allies to the Black community and raise antiracist children (who will be change agents in the world) and for parents who want to implement Social Justice Parenting practices in their family’s daily lives. Make sure to grab your copy of her book, Social Justice Parenting: How to Raise Compassionate, Anti-Racist, Justice-Minded Kids. Related Episodes: Episode 96. Effective Conversations About Diversity with Anatasia Kim and Alicia del Prado Episode 91. Disability as a Form of Diversity with Erin Andrews  Episode 185. Good Guys: Allies in the Workplace with Brad Johnson and David Smith Episode 162. APA Guidelines on Race and Ethnicity in Psychology with Karen Suyemoto   Special Bonus Episode: Mending Racial Trauma with Carynne Williams and Jennifer Shepard Payne Episode 19. Keeping Children Safe from Sexual Abuse with Feather Berkower Episode 83. Courageous Conversations to Prevent Childhood Sexual Abuse with Feather Berkower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Influence is power, but it’s a power not reserved just for the few. In fact, each of us has the power to impact those around us. Because of this, it’s incredibly important that we meaningfully hold and use that power for good! Dr. Zoe Chance, author of INFLUENCE IS YOUR SUPERPOWER, is a writer, teacher, researcher, and climate philanthropist obsessed with the topic of interpersonal influence. On this episode of POTC, Zoe and Yael discuss how to use your personal values to change the world for the better. Join us in this episode to learn important differences between influence and manipulation, strategies for influencing your child, practical advice for navigating negotiations with difficult people, and more! Listen and Learn: How Yael and Jill use their values to change the world for the better Zoe’s expert definition of influence  Important differences between influence and manipulation Expert-approved tips and tricks for those afraid to exert their influence What parents, CEOs, central bankers, and princess have in common The secrets to influencing your child  Why compromising can be an optimal outcome Practical advice for negotiating with even the most difficult or powerful of people  Evidence-based strategies for listening to someone you disagree with (even when the disagreement makes you want to turn inward) Zoe walks us through her Empathy Challenge Resources: Grab your copy of Zoe’s book, INFLUENCE IS YOUR SUPERPOWER! Read Adam Grant’s Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know  Learn about False Polarization Bias  Learn more about Naomi Eisenber’s research on social rejection and pain  Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!   About Zoe Chance: Dr. Zoe Chance is a writer, teacher, researcher, and climate philanthropist obsessed with the topic of interpersonal influence. She earned her doctorate from Harvard and now teaches the most popular course at Yale School of Management, which is the basis for her international bestseller, INFLUENCE IS YOUR SUPERPOWER. Her framework for behavior change is the foundation for Google’s global food policy, and before academia, she managed a $200 million segment of the Barbie brand at Mattel. Today, Zoe teaches smart, kind people to raise money for charity, get elected to political office, fund startups, start movements, save lives, find love, negotiate great deals and job offers, and even get along better with their kids. In other words, she helps people to use their superpower of influence as a force for good. Related Episodes: Episode 51. The Psychology of Political Division with Yael and Debbie Episode 197. Influence and Adventure with Jon Levy Episode 196. The Neuroscience of Marketing with Matt Johnson and Prince Ghuman Episode 180. Choosing to Live Your Values with Benji Schoendorff Episode 234. The Power of Us with Dominic Packer Episode 252. Getting the Help You Need, with Us Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s incredibly easy (and completely normal) to become caught in the heat of the moment and lash out when arguing with our partners. However, it’s not always the most functional behavior, and it almost never aligns with our values. Michaela Thomas, author of The Lasting Connection, is a clinical psychologist who has centered her career around helping women develop love and compassion for themselves and their partners. On this episode of POTC, Jill and Michaela discuss the key elements to building lasting connections and provide evidence-based strategies for incorporating them into your relationships. Listen in to this episode to discover the top reasons modern couples disconnect, engage in a real-time compassion-flow practice, learn strategies for identifying your relationship values, and much more today! Listen and Learn: Jill and Yael’s thoughts on incorporating ACT, CFT, Behavioral Therapy for couples The three elements that help build lasting connections Expert-approved strategies for identifying when you’re too “hot” or “cold” in your relationship (and practical advice for turning that flame up or down!) Three critical directions your compassion should be flowing in order to build a lasting, loving connection Jill and Michaela engage in a real-time exercise for allowing compassion to flow in from others Evidence-based strategies for moving from high conflict into compassion Dr. Thomas provides the top reasons modern couples disconnect  Tips and tricks for identifying your relationship values as a couple Resources: Grab your copy of Michaela’s book, The Lasting Connection! Listen to Michaela’s podcast, Pause Purpose Play. Take Michaela’s online course, The Compassionate Couple Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!   About Michaela Thomas: Michaela Thomas is a Clinical Psychologist, couples therapist and founder of the private practice The Thomas Connection. Michaela specialises in perfectionism, helping high-striving women let go of the pressure of perfection, to find the balance to burn bright, not burn out. She has authored the book The Lasting Connection - develop love and compassion for yourself and your partner. Michaela can be found on her Pause Purpose Play podcast and on Instagram under @the_thomas_connection. Her online course The Compassionate Couple has been described as 'life changing'. Related episodes: Episode 245. Family Firm with Emily Oster Episode 206. Fair Play Part 2 with Eve Rodsky Episode 168. Everyday Conversations: How Conversational Style Impacts Relationships with Deborah Tannen Episode 247. Find Your Unicorn Space with Eve Rodsky Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The pressure to be the perfect parent and create the perfect environment for your kids to grow feels pervasive for many modern parents. Because of this, many caregivers have had the thought that they are the world’s worst parent. However, that title belongs to Lenore Skenazy, president of Let Grow and founder of the Free-Range Kids movement (and book), who was once nationally dubbed "America's Worst Mom". On this episode of POTC, Yael and Lenore discuss the data behind how trusting your kids more and giving them more independence allows them to better grow into capable, confident, and happy adults. Join us in this advice-packed episode to learn about what’s actually risky for your kids, strategies for trusting your parenting skills more, methods for unhooking from perfect-parenting-pressure, and much more, today! Listen and Learn: Yael and Jill’s experiences with stigma and conforming to social norms when it comes to raising their kids Important social and personal changes for Lenore since the release of the first edition of Free-Range Kids Practical advice for the parents worried about their children’s safety in social contexts Lenore defines the “worst first thing” and provides expert advice on how to respond to that tendency Evidence-based and time-proven strategies for shifting your perspective around what’s actually risky for your kids How to begin trusting your parenting instincts and thriving in your role as a parent Expert-approved tips and tricks for incorporating more approach and less avoidance behavior in your parenting repertoire  The data that supports the free-range kids movement and having faith in your own parenting skill sets Lenore’s expert advice on unhooking from pressure around being the perfect parent and relating to your kids as people Resources: Read Lenore’s book, Free-Range Kids and check out the Free-Range Kids movement as well! Get involved in Lenore’s non-profit, Let Grow, and check out the FREE resources at the Let Grow Play Club!  Check out Jonathan Haidt’s work, The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure and The Fragile Generation Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!   For a hilarious view of free range partnering, check out this SNL clip About Lenore Skenazy: Lenore Skenazy, graduate of Yale University and Columbia University and formerly named "America's Worst Mom", is president of Let Grow, a non-profit promoting childhood independence and resilience, and founder of the Free-Range Kids movement (and book!). She is also a speaker, blogger, syndicated columnist, author, and reality show host. A former newspaper reporter, she lives in New York City with her husband. Their sons have flown the coop, which is good for “proof of concept” purposes, but she misses them. Check out her book, Free Range Kids and all the FREE resources available at letgrow.org.  Related Episodes: Episode 94. Parenthood in the Age of Fear with Kim Brooks Episode 143. Happier Parenting KJ Dell’Antonia Episode 161. The Gift of Failure with Jessica Lahey Episode 194. How to Be (and raise) an Adult with Julie Lythcott-Haims Episode 205. Thrivers with Michele Borba    Episode 211. Subtract with Leidy Klotz Episode 213. Back To School! How To Talk With Kids To Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance and A Happy Home with Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson Episode 214. How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Jerks with Melinda Wenner Moyer Episode 245. Family Firm with Emily Oster Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Asking for help can put us in a vulnerable space. For some, asking for help feels like an admission of failure or weakness. However, many (including the POTC crew) would argue that asking for help demonstrates incredible strength, intelligence, and bravery. On this episode of POTC, our co-hosts, Jill, Yael, and Debbie, gather to discuss the importance of asking for help. They provide clinician-approved methods for identifying appropriate help, asking for help, and overcoming common barriers to asking for help. Listen in to this help-filled episode, today! Listen and Learn: Why our co-hosts are drawn to the topic of asking for help Barriers to asking for help when you need it most Practical strategies to reframe shame and guilt related to asking for help Specific challenges related to seeking out professional help through therapy or coaching When to seek professional help vs. emotional support from your loved ones Important differences between therapy and friendship Clinician-approved methods for finding a therapist who’s a good fit for you and your needs Cultural challenges to finding a therapist and starting treatment Expert-approved ways to build out a reciprocal “helping network” with people you feel comfortable with Resources: Read Yael and Brad Stulberg’s Washington Post piece, Therapist or coach: Understanding the difference and how to pick one Read Debbie’s Psyche article, How to ask for help   Check out Flynn and Lake’s research on asking for help Read Zoe Chance’s Influence Is Your Superpower: The Science of Winning Hearts, Sparking Change, and Making Good Things Happen   Check out Dr. Jessi Gold’s article, Your Therapist Is Not Your Friend, Take It from a Psychiatrist  Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Richard Dawkins has been quoted as saying, “The feeling of awed wonder that science can give us is one of the highest experiences of which the human psyche is capable.” Many agree with him and have referred to wonder as the beginning of wisdom, the seed of science, and the basis of men’s desire to understand. When we are little, most of us are filled with wonder and experience it often. However, we tend to lose our sense of wonder as we age into adults. On today’s episode of POTC, Dr. Frank Keil, author of Wonder, talks with Jill about why it’s so important to encourage a sense of wonder in younger generations and reconnect with our own sense of wonder as well. Join us in this episode to break cycles of over-imitation, learn about important research on wonder and well-being, engage in deeper, more interesting conversations, and so much more, today!   Listen and Learn: Jill and Yael discuss the difference between wonder and curiosity Frank expertly defines wonder and provides some insight as to its history The research-backed reasons why we lose our natural sense of wonder over time Practical, evidence-based advice on fostering the continuance of wonder for your little ones Negative consequences of losing your sense of wonder The positive outcomes related to wondering with others Over-imitating - what it is, how it works, and why we continue to do it How wonder lends itself to compassion and understanding  Frank’s favorite findings from his research on wonder Expert-approved strategies on reconnecting with your sense of wonder as an adult Resources: Read Frank’s books, Developmental Psychology: The Growth of Mind and Behavior and Wonder: Childhood and the Lifelong Love of Science! Check out Chris Ferrie’s book, Quantum Physics for Babies Read Richard Dawkins’ book, Unweaving the Rainbow: Science, Delusion and the Appetite for Wonder  Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!   About  Frank C. Keil is the Dilley Professor of Psychology, Linguistics, and Cognitive Science at Yale University. Much of his research involves asking how intuitive explanations and understandings emerge in development and how they function in adults. These topics are linked to broader questions of what concepts and explanations are, how they change with increasing expertise, how people understand the limits to their own knowledge and how they navigate the division of cognitive labor. Dr. Keil received a Ph.D. in Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania , a M.A. in Psychology from Stanford University, and a B.S. in Biology from MIT. He is the author of hundreds of articles and several books including Developmental Psychology: The Growth of Mind and Behavior, and most recently, Wonder: Childhood and the Lifelong Love of Science. Related Episodes: Episode 214. How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Jerks with Melinda Wenner Moyer Episode 204. Ageless with Andrew Steele   Episode 207. Burnout with Debbie and Jill Episode 125. Why We Age and the Science of Longevity with David Sinclair   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Many of us make use of control agendas and get caught up in managing our experiences to be exactly the way we want them. Sometimes this is a good, rewarding type of behavior, but more often than not, perfectionistic behavior can leave you feeling stuck in a cycle of failure. Dr. Clarissa Ong, author of The Anxious Perfectionist, is an expert in the intersection of anxiety and perfectionism. On this episode of POTC, she and Debbie discuss this intersection and explore practical strategies for overcoming problematic, perfectionistic tendencies. Join us in this episode for advice on moving from rigidity into flexibility, practical strategies for distinguishing between helpful and harmful perfectionism, and so much more! Listen and Learn: Debbie and Jill discuss the double-edged sword of perfectionism Dr. Ong’s personal experiences with perfectionism Practical strategies for distinguishing between helpful and harmful perfectionism The different forms of perfectionism and how they may present themselves The intersection between anxiety and perfectionism Contexts that can nurture or contribute to a person’s perfectionistic tendencies Evidence-based advice for parents who don’t want to water the seeds of perfectionism in their children How perfectionism can be like playing a game What you lose when you’re trapped by perfectionism Expert-approved advice on moving from rigidity into flexibility around perfectionism (and on helping your friends and loved ones do so as well!) Practical advice for incorporating a little self-kindness into behaviors governed by perfectionism Resources: Read Clarissa’s book, The Anxious Perfectionist!  Follow her on Twitter, @ongclarissaw! Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!   About Clarissa Ong: Clarissa W. Ong, PhD, is a postdoctoral associate at the Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders at Boston University. She received her doctoral degree in clinical/counseling psychology from Utah State University, and completed her clinical internship at McLean Hospital/Harvard Medical School. Her research interests include acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), process-based therapy, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), hoarding disorder, and perfectionism. She has contributed to more than sixty peer-reviewed publications and a book. She has also received funding from the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS). She and Dr. Michael Twohig recently published a self-help book on perfectionism, The Anxious Perfectionist.  Related Episodes: Episode 226. ACT for Perfectionism with Jennifer Kemp Episode 88. Perfectionism with Sharon Martin Episode 172. Performing Under Pressure with Sian Beilock  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the past decade, online dating has become a multi-billion dollar industry with three in ten adults in the United States claiming to have ever used a dating app. But despite all this dating, experiences of loneliness are on the rise, and three out of five U.S. adults report lacking companionship or feeling left out or poorly understood. Dr. Jenny Taitz, author of How to be Single and Happy, is passionate about helping others live meaningful, value-based lives, regardless of their relationship status. On this episode of POTC, she and Yael discuss the central challenges faced by unhappily single people and evidence-based methods for overcoming them. Join us today for practical advice related to dealing with big emotions in dating, creating long-lasting relationships, dating throughout the life-span, and finding happiness no matter your relationship status! Listen and learn: Katy and Yael discuss living meaningfully even when dating and relationships feel imperfect Practical advice for those who are in an unhappy partnership or those who struggle with dating and finding a partner (regardless of your age, gender, or experiences!) Dr. Taitz’s personal experience of being unhappily single and her journey to write her book Taitz’s expert opinion on if you can be single (not by choice) and happy Expert-approved strategies the unhappily single can use to thrive Three central challenges faced by the unhappily single and evidence-based practices you can use to unhook yourself from themPractical strategies for helping those who feel shame and regret about dating experiences Dr. Taitz’s words of wisdom for staying hopeful when you’ve been on the dating scene for a long time Problematic emotions that can arise with dating struggles and how to respond to them Specific, expert-approved advice for dating when you want to have a child The problem of loneliness and how to manage it Dr. Taitz’s thoughts on dating apps, meeting people, and starting conversationsPractical advice on creating long lasting relationships How to live well, regardless of your relationship status Resources: Read Dr. Jenny’s books, End Emotional Eating and How to be Single and Happy!Check out Dr. Jenny’s website, and while you’re there, take advantage of her resources! Find Jenny's New York Times pieces here, here, and hereRead Daniel Pink’s book, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward.Read Matt Haig’s book, The Midnight Library.Read Chris Wilson’s book, The Master Plan: My Journey from Life in Prison to a Life of Purpose. Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!  About Jenny Taitz: Dr. Jenny Taitz, is board certified in cognitive behavioral therapy by the American Board of Professional Psychology and a Diplomate in the Academy of Cognitive Therapy. Dr. Taitz is one of the first psychologists to merit Linehan Board Certification in DBT. She is the founder of LA CBT DBT, a discrete, boutique, private therapy practice prioritizing compassionate, effective, and time-sensitive therapy. Dr. Taitz is grateful to offer secure telehealth appointments to clients residing in New York and California. In her work, she aims to coach her clients to achieve their life goals. Dr. Taitz practices the acceptance and values-based living she teaches and recently ran the LA Marathon (postpartum!) for suicide prevention. Additionally, Dr. Taitz serves as an Assistant Clinical Professor in the Department of Psychiatry at U.C.L.A. and her writing appears in numerous prominent publications including the New York Times and Wall Street Journal. Jenny is the author of End Emotional Eating: Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Cope with Difficult Emotions and Deve... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's hard to talk about intimacy and sex. Cultural norms around intimacy work their way into our minds when we’re young, causing us to have rigid (and often completely incorrect, unworkable, or dysfunctional) views about how we should express ourselves sexually. Zoë Kors, author of Radical Intimacy, is a sex and intimacy coach who is passionate about opening up this conversation to help people develop healthier sexuality and intimacy. On this episode of POTC, Yael and Zoë discuss the stigma and awkwardness we often feel around discussions about sex, Zoë’s Radical Intimacy model of sexual wellbeing, strategies for getting un-hooked from ideas about how you should be when it comes to sex and intimacy, and so much more. Join them for a conversation about sex and intimacy that can help you build towards greater fulfillment in your relationships! Listen and Learn: Yael and Debbie’s thoughts on our first episode on sex (and the stigma that prevented us from doing it earlier!)Expert-advice on how to start conversations with your partner or ask for help from a therapist or intimacy coach about sexZoë’s Radical Intimacy model of sexual wellbeingPractical advice for couples with mis-matched levels of comfort in different areas of intimacyImportant differences between desire and arousalZoë busts some common myths and misconceptions about intimacyAnswers to age-old questions about the importance of sex and interest in a relationshipEvidence-based advice on rekindling your sparkStrategies for getting un-hooked from ideas about how you should be when it comes to sex and intimacyThe role of power in intimacyHow to support vulnerable partners in feeling safe during intimate momentsEnergetic intimacy - what it is and why it’s so importantWhat it’s like for Zoë’s husband to live with a sex guru! Resources: Buy your copy of Zoë’s book, Radical Intimacy: Cultivate the Deeply Connected Relationships You Desire and Deserve!Read Zoë’s viral article, 6 Ways to Have Radically Intimate Sex.Listen to Zoë’s podcast, The Radical Intimacy Podcast!Learn more about Sensate Focus Therapy.Read Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages.Esther Perel’s advice for turning a spark into a flame. Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!  About Zoë Kors: Zoë Kors holds a BA in Art History from University of Pennsylvania. Her post graduate work includes certification as a Co-Active Coach with the prestigious Co-Active Training Institute in San Rafael, CA, as well as dozens of programs and courses in sexuality and spirituality. She is the resident sex and intimacy coach and contributor at sexual wellness app Coral. Zoë is the former Senior Editor and Creative Director of LA Yoga Magazine and is a contributor to Elephant Journal, MindBodyGreen, Avocado Green Mattress and Fabletics blogs. In addition to a thriving private practice, Zoë offers her services through Center for Relational Healing, which specializes in the treatment of sex addiction and betrayal trauma. As a member of the CRH team, Zoë works with clients to reintroduce healthy sexuality and intimacy after the trauma of betrayal. Make sure to read her book, Radical Intimacy: Cultivate the Deeply Connected Relationships You Desire and Deserve! Related Episodes: Episode 32. Social Connection: Exploring Loneliness and Building Intimacy with Debbie and Diana   Episode 61. Becoming Our Best Relationship Selves By Identifying Core Values And Schemas With Avigail LevEpisode 76. Gender and Sexual Minorities with Aisling Leonard-Curtin and Matthew SkintaEpisode 92. Marriage in Midlife: The Rough Patch with Daphne de MarneffeEpisode 179. How to Be An Adult in Relationships with Dave ... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this psychology podcast, Jill interviews Eve Rodsky about carving out creative time separate from being in the roles of parent, partner, and professional Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Physician Tammie Chang talks to us about burnout prevention and setting boundaries. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Emily Oster, author of The Family Firm, Expecting Better and Cribsheet, has dedicated her career to discovering the hard, data-backed truths about parenting strategies. In this episode of POTC, she delivers some of those parenting truths to you. Emily then delights Yael by going beyond the world of data-driven parenting to discuss how to ask good questions in complicated parts of life (and how to answer them!). Emily also shares tools for gathering good information from the media—even if you aren't someone with a science background. Join the conversation as Yael and Emily discuss The Family Firm and making wise choices within very complicated life roles. Listen and Learn: Yael and Jill discuss strategies to approaching thorny parenting decisionsDifferences between parenting in early versus middle years of childhoodThe benefits to thinking about family, co-parenting, and marriage as a firmHow Emily’s family has applied this data to their personal lives (and her family’s mission statement!)Practical advice for staying engaged as a parent while maintaining a demanding careerThe importance of framing good questions and evidence-based strategies for doing soThe Family Firm approach to making decisions: The Four F’sWhat the data says about social pressure and extracurricularsConsideration of how scientists should be interacting with systems outside of science Emily’s personal experience with being outspoken about data with people who have strong feelings otherwiseHow those interested in evidence can interact with media in ways that are less biasedThe inside scoop on Emily’s data-driven newsletter Resources: Pick up your copy of Emily’s book, The Family Firm: A Data-Driven Guide to Better Decision Making in the Early School Years!Sign up for Emily’s newsletter, Parent Data.Check out this article on AlloparentingLearn about the Sunk Cost Fallacy. Read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! About Emily Oster: Emily Oster, PhD, is a Professor of Economics at Brown University and the author of Expecting Better, Cribsheet, and The Family Firm. She holds a PhD in Economics from Harvard. Prior to being at Brown she was on the faculty at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. Oster’s academic work focuses on health economics and statistical methods. She is interested in understanding why consumers do not always make “rational” health choices — why do people not eat a fully healthy diet, or pursue all recommended preventative health behaviors? Her work also concerns methods for learning causal effects from observational data. Sign up for her newsletter and check out her website for all the most recent updates on data related to pregnancy and parenting! Related Episodes: Episode 33. Couples with Young Children: Relationship Challenges and Strategies with Yael SchonbrunEpisode 86. Mom Brain with Ilyse Dobrow DiMarcoEpisode 87. Cribsheet with Emily OsterEpisode 143. Happier Parenting KJ Dell’AntoniaEpisode 149. How Not Lose It with Your Kids with Carla NaumburgEpisode 200. Growing Grit with Angela DuckworthEpisode 214. How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Jerks with Melinda Wenner MoyerEpisode 223. Mom Brain Returns with Ilyse Dobrow DiMarcoEpisode 235. The Urge: The Shaping of Addiction & Mental Health with Carl Erik Fisher Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Aprilia West shares how to respond to respond to emotions effectively and become boss-level choice maker! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn about the science of goal setting, building motivation, and how to get things done in this conversation with Dr. Ayelet Fishbach. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join this meaningful conversation with Oliver Burkeman about how to make the most of your time in the roughly 4,000 weeks you'll live! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We continue the conversation on Emotion-Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) with Dr. Mindy Solomon on Emotion Coaching Skills. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Adele LaFrance shares skills from Emotion-Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) to help parents and caregivers handle big emotions effectively. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

An interview with best selling author, Lori Gottlieb, about how to edit our unhelpful narratives so we may grow in our relationships, lives, and well being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices