Here’s what I learned from Long Live The Tribe Of Fatherless Girls by T Kira Madden: First lines should make the reader curious to read more. They can be surprising, specific, and/or present a conflict. It’s important to stay in moments longer by going deeper with details and going on tangents that add context.  Write unsparingly about yourself to get the reader to root for you—without disclaimers.  Write about complicated characters in your life by sharing stories that show their different sides.

Here’s what I learned from Still Life At Eighty by Abigail Thomas: Revealing the dark parts of yourself in writing makes those things less scary and less powerful.  Simple, clear, no-frill writing can be just as powerful and moving as fancy prose. Lean into your style, whatever it may be.  Sometimes writing can just be keeping a log of your feelings and experiences. It might not be something to publish now, but later, when you can look back at that time in your life and have rich details to include once you’ve had some separation from it.  If you don’t know what to write about, write about what you’re struggling with. Rhythm is important: Print out what you’ve written in a different font so it looks like somebody else wrote it and read it out loud. When your voice goes dead, there’s either something hiding behind that sentence or it’s just boring.  Memoir is not a place to get revenge or cast oneself as victim. Freelance Writing Direct podcast interview with Abigail Thomas

Here’s what I learned from My Salinger Year by Joanna Rakoff: How to write dialogue in a novelistic or cinematic way: Include details about the surrounding area. The weather, scenery, anything the characters interact with, other people in the room. This is especially useful at the start of the scene, and if/when the scene changes.  When you add context for the reader it should relate to the dialogue before it. It can also help establish the relationship of the characters. There are three people to consider in a two-person conversation: the two people in the scene and the reader. Dialogue can be inside-baseball between the two characters even it’s unclear to the reader, but interjections by the writer can clarify and invite the reader into what’s happening.  A scene should not end at the end of the conversation, but at a point when a character says something that transitions into the next scene.  And here’s the link to Joanna’s conversation with Estelle Erasmus on Freelance Writing Direct.

Sam is back to discuss more marital arguments, though he insists they rarely argue while Charlie insists they argue plenty.

I submitted a personal essay to the New York Times weekly column, Modern Love. In this episode I talk about how I learned about the column, how I decided to submit an essay under my real name, and a little context for what the essay is about.  References: 39 Submission Tips for Modern Love  Estelle Erasmus interviews:  Noah Michelson  Joanna Rakoff Abigail Thomas Maggie Smith Cheryl Strayed

Here’s what I learned from three sobriety memoirs: The Night of the Gun by David Carr: Interview the people from your past. It doesn’t have to be formal or recorded. It could be as simple as a text message to see what they remember about the event.  This can accomplish three things:  It’s a way to add more details into your story.  It allows the person to feel like they’re a part of the process of writing it as opposed to feeling like it’s one-sided.  It makes you, the writer, more relatable and reliable because you’re giving different perspectives.  The Unexpected Joy Of Being Sober by Catherine Gray: Don’t break the fourth wall to manipulate the reader or try to get them on your side. Breaking the fourth wall should always be a statement, not a question.  Option: Use sarcasm or let them in on a secret.  We Are The Luckiest by Laura McKowen: Just tell the story and leave the reader out of it. 

Heres’s what I learned from Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp AND The Elements Of Eloquence by Mark Forsyth. Anaphora is when you start each phrase, sentence, or paragraph with the same word or words. But be careful: readers always remember the opening words but often forget the rest. So when using anaphora, be intentional about what you want to emphasize. Also, only using one word for the anaphora—as opposed to a phrase—is slightly less powerful but beautifully hypnotic.  Epistrophe is when you end each phrase, sentence, or paragraph with the same word. Diacope is when a word or phrase is repeated after a brief interruption. Parataxis is short, clear, matter-of-fact sentences, often subject-verb, without conjunctions (think Hemingway). Knapp was selective with parataxis, using it when she wrote about the moment she found out her father died and again at the moment her mother died. In both instances, it was a shocking, cringey admission because she was drunk both times. Pleonasm is the use of unneeded words, sometimes repeating the exact same word, other times saying the same thing in a slightly different way. This can annoy readers, but when utilized for intentional redundancy can be quite effective and powerful.

Do you want to write under a pseudonym or not? I have been writing as Charlie Bleecker for over four years. If you want to give it a real go, commit to it for a year.  Do my friends read my writing? No. Does my family read my writing? No. That is the whole point.  If you care at all about growing your audience in a time span of less than 10 years, don’t do it. What about support? It’s nice to have your family and friends support you… That’s true. But give it time. You only need one or two people to support you in the beginning. I have SO much support now, and none of it comes from my friends or family, except for my husband. He is the one person in my life who knew about Charlie from the beginning. How to choose your name: Pick a name you like! One that’s easy to say and easy to spell and isn’t super common if you search it in Google. 

Here’s what I learned from Life On Delay by John Hendrickson: On Structure: When you open with a big event, where something big is about to happen, it creates suspense. The opening is a pivotal moment. There was life before this moment, and then there’s life after.  Around ¾ of the way through the book he comes back to this moment and finishes the story.  The life-changing moment is only the beginning of the major changes to come for John (aka, the main character). The life changing moment, then, is a catalyst for change and growth.  On the relationships with his family, namely his brother Matt: Adjectives are manipulative when describing the people you’re close to. Showing is always more compelling than telling.  When writing about your past—especially your adolescence—the best way to evoke emotion out of the reader is to leave your feelings out of it, whether they were your feelings back then or your feelings now. The best way to introduce a main character in your story is through multiple stories about them. When introducing a character who you had or have a troubled relationship with, it’s important to write about them completely separate from you. So there should be stories that involve you AND stories that don’t involve you, so the reader can get a fuller sense of who this person is. Phrases I will never write in my own book: “I don’t blame them,” or “absolutely thrilled.”  Other Notes: When jumping around to past, present, and future, it’s important to find ways of anchoring the reader and orienting them by letting them know where we are on the timeline, in relation to big events that have already occurred in the story.  Freeze frame: when you’ve finally arrived at a big moment—in this book’s case, a hard conversation—one way to build suspense is to break up the dialogue by commenting on something else that’s happening at the same time. In this instance, John wrote about what was going on in his head simultaneously.   On Endings:  A powerful way to end is with a story. It doesn’t have to be fancy or clever. This was simple, abrupt, and beautiful.  Here’s the link to Michael Dean’s video about the David Foster Wallace essay:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wbjup1xuo8Q&t=1s

Here’s what I learned from How Tracy Austin Broke My Heart by David Foster Wallace: Rather than tell us how bad the memoir was, he lists eight (eight!) examples—all quotes from the book.  Later, he explicitly tells us how bad TV interviews of top athletes are, then gives two very long and detailed back-to-back examples to make his point.  The best memoirs are written by writers, and celebrity memoirs are trash.

Here’s what I learned from My Fair Junkie by Amy Dresner: Amy Dresner is the second memoirist I’ve read who had a life changing moment with a breathwork teacher—Glennon Doyle was the first, in Love Warrior. So I found a breathwork person near me and did it! I don’t know if it was life changing but I definitely had a moment.  Character intros should have lots of specific details, and don’t be afraid to make them long, like three or four sentences.  A rule about parentheticals: they should always only be hilarious. Lots of examples of how to not write your feelings or your own commentary to the story, especially when the dialogue is gold (as it was in Amy’s story).  And a quick update on my memoir!

Here's what I learned from Lost & Found by Kathryn Schulz: Create tension by pairing repetition with opposites. Add playfulness by pairing something literal with something figurative.  Show don’t tell: how can you show us you’re crying without telling us? Also… an update on my memoir!

Here’s what I learned from In The Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado: I can write a cohesive story that is made up of little stories, all strung together with a unifying theme.  When writing about moments of inebriation or vulnerability, it’s funny to include present-tense comments of your thoughts at the time, like a question you thought, or something ridiculous that would not make sense if you were sober.  Metaphors don’t need to be explicitly explained, as long as there's context surrounding it.  Surprise your reader with a different format at some point in the book: in this case, she did a whole section of Choose Your Own Adventure. When you find it difficult to explain something, analogies are a great tool.

Here's what I learned from A Life's Work by Rachel Cusk: -Sometimes your experience of something is enough, sometimes it’s all there is. You don’t have to share wisdom or lessons; you could just tell people what happened, and there's value in that. -When you include disclaimers you water down the thing you were trying to say. It takes away from the truth and makes you unrelatable. -Write unsparingly about yourself means to ONLY write unsparingly about yourself. You don't then try to redeem yourself after the fact. Just say the shitty thing and move on. When you try to redeem yourself it makes you unlikeable. -When you write an analogy, the more parallels you can make the more vivid the analogy becomes. -In a run-on sentence it's funny if you can add a conflicting statement—I want this but I also want the opposite of this. Also, the run-on sentence is more powerful if either the sentences just before or after are really short. -If you want to tell a story that involves another person but you don't want to include them, you don't have to! You can leave them out completely, or, you can make it known that they were there but then still leave them out of the story. If the person doesn't add any relevance to your story, if their presence is more distracting than anything else, just leave them out.

Sam is back! And Charlie sucks at parenting.

Here’s what I learned from The Liars’ Club by Mary Karr: If I want to tell stories from my past that involve family members, I can ask them how they remember the same story and include their perspective by saying things like, “If I gave my big sister a paragraph here, she would correct my memory. To this day, she claims…” or “Lecia says that…” or “My sister says this never happened.”  I can tell my truth and honor my story while and also share my family’s perspective. It’s not 'I’m right and they’re wrong,' it’s 'here’s how I remember it and here’s how my family remembers it.'

Here’s what I learned from Cheryl Strayed: “The hardest part about memoir is the unfortunate fact that other people exist.” Every time she writes about anyone other than herself she asks herself a series of questions— Will this hurt our relationship?  Will this unfairly invade someone's privacy?  Will I be able to tell this story in such a way that is both deeply rooted in my truth and also acknowledging that that person I'm writing about would tell a different version of this story?  Do I have the right to tell their story, even if it's just through my perspective?  Will invading their privacy harm them or hurt them?  Cheryl wrote a longform essay titled Two Women Walk Into A Bar, available in early January 2024. It’s about her mother-in-law who recently passed away. They had a troubled relationship and Cheryl had to navigate how to tell their story with kindness at its center.  “Don’t be afraid of the dark stuff, because the beautiful stuff is there, too.” The secret of memoir: when you can ask a universal question and tie it to your own personal question.  Cheryl’s personal question for Wild: How can I live without my mom? Her universal question: How do we go on when we've lost someone who's essential to us? Cheryl explains how to find and cultivate your authentic voice.  She ends by answering the following question from the audience:  How can I write a book if my family says I'm crazy and that “it didn't happen"? In short, she says your family members are not your audience, and your book is not for them.  — The first memoir deep dive I did was on Cheryl Strayed’s Wild in Episode 22. Listen here.

Here's what I learned from What Remains by Carole Radziwill: -The best prologue I’ve read so far because of her journalistic style of writing.  -Structure is so important. It should be seamless, unnoticeable; surprising but not confusing. Never linear.  -Rather than attempt to describe visceral moments from my life where I’ve “cried so hard,” I can skip them altogether.   -Facts are more shocking than trying to describe the shocking thing. -A strong ending: circled back to the prologue and then closed with a flashback.

Memoir deep dive #8 Here’s what I learned from The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls: -When you leave out thoughts and feelings it evokes big emotions from the reader. -Action and dialogue drive a story—not thoughts and feelings. -If you want to drop a bomb, bury it. Make it subtle, within a sentence. Say it and move on.  -A long list can evoke big emotions. -Include moments of resolution, when something difficult has occurred that has made me determined and focused about myself or my future. -Want a strong ending? End with a callback metaphor.

Memoir deep dive #7 Here's what I learned from Born Standing Up by Steve Martin: -Breaking the 4th wall is when the writer addresses the reader directly. It's intimate, it's funny, and a lot of comedic writers do it. It's a fun way to make the reader feel like they're a part of the story. -The best way to be sarcastic in writing is to be subtle about it. -Our fantasies are hilarious, vulnerable, and relatable. When sharing a fantasy, the deeper into it you go, the better it gets. -Great ending! He ended with a joke. How fitting and satisfying when this book was all about his standup career. As the reader, I was hanging on to every word of the last page, and smiled to myself at the punchline.

Memoir deep dive #6 Here's what I learned from Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle: -Her book structure was as follows: Prelude (her wedding day) Part 1 :The Before Image (childhood to rock bottom, to pregnant, to marrying Craig) Part 2: The Explosion (being sober and married and a mom is hard, writing is the light in her life, and then the bomb is dropped—Craig confesses that he's cheated on her multiple times) Part 3: The Transformation (a journey to self-trust, forgiveness, and a new way of being) Afterword (renewing her wedding vows) The Prelude and Afterword acted as bookends, mirroring each other. -She uses a coined term throughout the book: my representative. This is the Instagram version of herself, the one she sends forward to protect herself from harm. The one who tells the world, "I'm fine," even though she's not. She came back to this term again and again, until finally, she has a new understanding of her representative. -There were a few moments when she wrote with anger that made me feel bad for her husband even though he cheated on her. For myself, I want to try and take out all emotion, all of my thoughts, and just stick to the story. I don't want to coerce readers into taking my side. I want them to decide for themselves how they feel about the different characters. -The ending felt a little too hopeful, a little too wrapped up in a bow, a little too boring. For myself, I want there to be a punch at the end. I still want it to be happy, but I want to make the reader laugh, or cry, or both. The ending should be a story, and it should grip the reader until the very last words.

Memoir deep dive #5 Here's what I learned from The Tender Bar by J.R. Moehringer: - Repetition can have a lyrical effect, which makes your writing read almost like a poem. It's also a fun tool when writing as a drunk person, because drunk people repeat themselves. - Analogies are a descriptive way to be more specific and visual, and avoid cliches. You don't need to force analogies. Try to think of it this way: What does this really remind me of? - Alliteration is a subtle way to make your writing sing. Also, when you have alliteration with two contrasting, polar opposite words, it creates a real punch. - There's no space between the word and the em dash—like this. - Don't look up writing rules on the internet! Instead, read the writing of people you admire, and write like them (Ex. Moehringer rarely uses commas). - Foreshadowing creates suspense and asks a question. Later, it answers that question. - Callbacks are a relevant reference to something that took place earlier in the narrative. Different from foreshadowing, they feel like a pat on the back, or like an inside joke, like we know what’s going on because we were here from the beginning. - Write about the moments when nothing actually happened—the missed opportunities when I wish I said something or reacted differently. What did I wish I had said? What was I feeling at the time? - Here's something fun: Write a quote of someone talking to me about someone else, but it feels like they're talking about me. Instead of reacting, have the person continue to react to my facial expression. Ex. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?" - "Don't strain for the perfect sentence. There's no such thing." When you try to craft a perfect sentence, you don't allow your voice to shine through. - Share my bad writing ideas throughout the book. It's fun to see the process!

Charlie has a conundrum: she wants to cultivate friendships but also loves all of her "me" time. Later, she and Sam get slightly heated about Charlie's visit from her family.

Here's what I learned from Finding Me by Viola Davis: - Never write: "Words can't describe..." because that's what writing is. It's describing things. - Show don't tell. Show the reader something is important with your words, not punctuation marks. - If you have an amazing story to tell but you're not a very good writer, consider hiring a ghost writer. Here's what I learned from Based On A True Story by Norm Macdonald - It's okay to have a bad memory and still tell your story because ... no one has a perfect memory! - The mirroring technique is powerful: when you write something in a very specific way and then repeat that phrase or sentence later to create impact. - When you tell some stories that are true and some that are absurd, how is the reader supposed to know the difference? Here's what I learned from The Santaland Diaries (essay) by David Sedaris - Repeating something someone has said 3x can have a funny, sarcastic effect. - Rather than respond to something with your thoughts/ideas, respond with a story or observation. This is more compelling and more credible. - You don't need to end your story with your thoughts, feelings, values to impart, lessons learned. You can just end with the actual ending of the story!

This dude is funny. Subscribe to Alex's newsletter if you haven't already. Make sure you upgrade to paid because he really needs the money.

Here's what I learned from Crying In H Mart: -Food is a very visual theme she uses throughout the book. What's a visual theme I could use in my book? -Specific, observational details are interesting and engaging. -Whenever you write about a person, you have to show the good and bad. People are never one-dimensional. -Litter your book with continuous stories, where you tell a piece of a story and let it hang, then come back to it later. This creates a feeling of satisfaction for the reader that a loop has been closed. -When you admit the things you're ashamed of, it's not only relatable to the reader, it's also freeing and empowering for you, the writer. -Include a chapter about your spouse/partner if they are a part of your story! -Endings feel satisfying when there is an actual end or culmination. In this case, she ends with her music tour, and the last stop is her birth place and mother's home. References: Danica Delacruz's ⁠essay⁠

Sam and Charlie learned about a new term: "Casuals." They heard about it on episode 65 of Eric Jorgenson's podcast, Smart Friends, and now they can't stop talking about it. Also, spoiler alert: lots of The Bear references in here.

In these memoir deep dives I highlight my takeaways from the book and how I can apply what I learn to writing my own memoir. Here's what I learned from Greenlights: - Coin a term for the title of your book. - Open with a powerful, visual scene. - "The choices we make write the chapters." - Take creative liberties: experiment with more dialogue! - Repeat themes/ideas you want the reader to remember. - Make your book unique: McConaughey had little poems written throughout; I want to write fantastic Acknowledgments. - The midpoint of your book should be an up or a down for the "protagonist" (ie me). This is similar to feature length screenplays. The midpoint of Greenlights is the moment McConaughey becomes famous. - Write a chapter on how you met the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with (obviously... because this is the most important decision of your life). - Endings are hard, but it might just write itself. Write the bulk of the book, and then think about the ending. I don't need to start with the ending in mind.

Charlie and Sam discuss risk-taking (Charlie loves to take risks in her creative endeavors but not in her personal relationships), their lack of friends and community (they gotta get out of the suburbs) and their relationships with money (they just hired a personal chef and will tell no one).

Charlie is going to write a memoir. What better way to learn about memoir than to read them and reflect on them? In this episode, Charlie talks about what resonated from the book Wild by Cheryl Strayed, and how her notes can help her as she thinks about her own writing. This new format was inspired by David Senra's Founders Podcast. If you haven't listened to his podcast, you should.

Charlie forgets to press record on the first hour of her conversation with Polina. No matter! Polina is a gem. They talk about how they write and their relationships with alcohol. Polina shares her thoughts on personal writing and failure. And they end with a new segment they came up with together called Slow Burn And Smooth Jazz. You won't want to miss it. Pre-order Polina's book, out June 20! ⁠Hidden Genius⁠: The Secret Ways Of Thinking That Power The World's Most Successful People References: Colleen Hoover 15 Months Without Alcohol Militaristic — definitely a word I’ll Show Myself Out: Essays On Midlife And Motherhood by Jessi Klein ⁠Why It's So Hard to Create Original Work In the Face of Conventional Wisdom⁠ (Polina’s essay on originality) An Orgasmic Birth (Charlie’s essay on childbirth) Judy Blume Educated by Tara Westover The Bachelor The White Lotus Season 2

Charlie and Sam discuss a recent Tim Ferriss Show podcast episode with CEO Coach Matt Mochary. But mostly they get unintentionally meta about podcasting.

Charlie hates hates hates hates hates feeling stupid. And she did something REALLY stupid this week. References: I Hate Feeling Stupid Shrinking on Apple TV

Randy is one of Charlie's new online writer friends. They discuss the purpose of their writing, their experience of making friends through Write of Passage, and their mutual hatred of Twitter. 

How do you prepare for something like a normal person? Charlie sure as heck doesn't know.  Eventually, she and Sam talk about ambition. Then Sam gets quite taken aback when Charlie admits that sometimes, when she's REALLY pissed off at him, she thinks he sucks.  References:  Bill Simmons on How I Built This Life Advice with Ryen Russillo Stokke Tripp Trapp Chair Review Nut Milk Maker Armchair Expert with Dax Shepherd Netflix's Trash Truck

Charlie wants to get vulnerable in 2023. In this episode she expresses her feelings around sending Layla to daycare, an upcoming family reunion, and why podcasting is so hard. 

We've arrived at the most wonderful time of the year! Hear Sam and Charlie's thoughts on Santa Claus, gift-giving, and Christmas movies. And get ready, Charlie sings her own Christmas classic, The Reindeer Rap. You heard it here first! Merry Christmas, you guys, thanks for listening. :) References: Way Of The Warrior Kid by Jocko Willink Weatherman umbrellas Beautiful hand-painted ornaments  Glass ball ornaments for all the kids... no longer available!! Apple TV's Spirited HBO Max's A Christmas Story Christmas The Reindeer Rap: OMG I found a video of some random school performing it. 

Rachel Morris (referred to as "Rebecca" in past episodes), joins Charlie and Sam to discuss her sailing adventures, childhood education, talking to kids like they're people, and self-checkout at the grocery store. 

Sam and Charlie hired a nanny and they love her. They share their insights on the hiring process and what they look for. They also skipped town for two nights and went to Miami. It was their first trip away from their babies (it's been almost three years!). While there, Charlie finally met some online friends IRL. They left the dinner invigorated, saying, "We need better friends." And Sam and Charlie's relationship with drinking alcohol continues to change...

Charlie and Sam are joined by Charlie's best friend of all time, Kylie.  Kylie and and Charlie met in 2nd grade and still remain the closest of friends. They talk about their hometown friendships and why Kylie never left. How does personal growth happen without ever leaving the place where you grew up?  Then they open up about their relationships with alcohol and how it's changed over the years.  

Our first guests are on the podcast! Charlie's college roommate "Ellie" and her husband "Norm" visit the Bleeckers for a weekend getaway with the kids. References: SNL sketch: Father-Son Podcasting Microphone

It's Mother's Day. Before the family goes out to dinner at The Melting Pot, Charlie and Sam talk about their successful experiment to not eat sweets for a week. How will they approach desserts with their kids? In other news, Teacher Appreciation Week is dumb, Sam and Charlie discuss a marital argument (Sam is impatient and Charlie is a poor communicator), and the neighbors threw a Kentucky Derby Frat Party. References:  Matt Tillotson: my friend who recommended dark chocolate M&Ms also happens to be the author of one of my fav newsletters: Matt's Mix Tape. Intuitive Eating (I must reference this in every episode! It’s clearly had a big impact on my life.) Hello Fresh (big fans) The Melting Pot

The Bleeckers got COVID. It sucked, but it could be worse. Charlie and Sam talk about their bad habits with sweets and their relationship with alcohol (not great, but they've come a long way). George has gotten particular with his food preferences which makes mealtime a struggle. They debate whether George is speaking words yet, and Sam calls Charlie selfish for making him sleep in the guest bedroom.  References:  Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch 15 Months Without Alcohol (The Profile) The Pomp Podcast #836 Balancing Work & Marriage with Polina, Pomp, Alex, & Matteo The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga Dave Chang on The Darya Rose Show

Charlie and Sam discuss the mindfuck that is sleep training your baby. Then Charlie opens up about her chronic neck pain and anxiety and explores what it means to live a happy life. She ends with a song. You're welcome. References:  Boyd Varty on The Tim Ferriss Show Zero-based budgeting The Disease of More

Charlie shares her hypothesis about sleep training babies. She and Sam discuss why lowering their expectations resulted in a more enjoyable visit from her  parents, even though Charlie blew it when her parents expressed genuine interest in her writing. Sam is stressed out - his fund isn't doing well. And they watched an amazing movie you've probably never heard of.  References:  ChefSteps Sliders Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey SuperMugatu Bill Simmons  CODA

Charlie and Sam share something with the listeners they haven't shared with anyone else. Then they discuss ways to encourage a loving, supportive relationship among their kids, even though neither of them are close with their siblings. A story from a listener about an in-law relationship has them stumped. They end with a fun chat about pseudonyms.  References: The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion Netflix show: Atypical Mark and Jay Duplass on Unlocking Us with Brene Brown

Charlie struggles with her need to be liked and Sam admits a recent parenting fail with the newborn. They excitedly discuss a new purchase: suitcases!! Then Charlie tells the story of how she and Sam met and tries to articulate some thoughts around the idea that "timing is everything." References: The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga The Tim Ferriss Show with Boyd Varty Away Luggage

Charlie and Sam are back! With a baby! They talk about Charlie's identity crisis, their toddler's first week at daycare and judgment from the family, the best parenting book ever (according to Sam), and a recent argument that made Charlie feel angry and defensive (shocker). Then Charlie ends with a quick embarrassing story. She's got lots.  References:  Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff The Darya Rose Show with Michaeleen Doucleff Toddler step stool 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan, Ph.D. The Ryen Rusillo Podcast